Friday, December 22, 2006

On this blog I have always let everyone trash me in the comments and say what they want and I think I have deleted two comments in total which were directed at other posters rather than me. I posted comments today three different times and they were roughly all the same message. For some reason, only known to them, someone is using my screen name in the comments section and saying things which are untrue. If you wish to say something nasty to me or have an opinion on the blog, you can use any name you want except mine. From now on I will not post anything in the comments and will just use the main page. I think it is distracting to use the main page and takes away from the blog, but it is either that or make some other changes to the comments system. I really enjoy all the comments good or bad and they are what makes the blog fun to write. What I dislike is someone using my name and taking away what was a pretty good day.

Christmas Spirit

I know everyone thinks most lawyers are jerks, greedy, arrogant, narcissistic, etc.. Well many of us are and I was no exception when I first started. Because of what I have seen and experienced, many of the stereotypical character traits of attorneys are not really me anymore. I am no saint, but have tried over the last few years to see what is really important and to try and focus on the really few close friends I have and also my family. One of the things I also forced myself to do is to do some volunteer legal work. I am not going to say I love doing it because I really don’t like dragging myself down to the closest legal services center, but I do it. I do it because I think it is right and I do it because I see how happy people are to be there talking to someone who actually is taking an interest in their problem and is not interested in personal gain. Sometimes they have been just fighting and fighting and cannot make any headway and it is extremely gratifying to help those people and to take a little weight off their shoulders. Most of the people who show up for these sessions are homeless or close to it, or they are on disability and have very little income. Each day is a struggle to just survive, let alone having to worry about some legal issue. California is a state that it sucks to be poor in because it is so expensive, but at the same time it is a great state because they do their very best to actually help people with things such as Medi-Cal or making it easier to use the courts.

I sign up to help once a month and never cancel no matter how easy it would be to do. If I cancel once, I will cancel every time. Generally someone from Legal Services will call me a few days before I go to tell me how many people are signed up and the general nature of the legal problem they have. For the most part there will be 5 or 6 people scheduled for the 2-3 hours I am there. Their issues are primarily eviction or debt problems. Sometimes it will be a restraining order or something similar. Every once in awhile though there is something you really never expected. This story is about one of those times.

On this particular day there were 6 appointments scheduled but I think only about four people actually turned up for their appointment. The first two were really quick and I was already thinking that I was not going to go back to the office and just enjoy the remainder of the day. The third appointment was classified on the intake sheet as family law but nothing else. The office manager showed them into the back office I was using. It was a couple in their late 60's maybe early 70's. I invited them to sit down and explain exactly what they needed. Here is what they told me.

In 2003, their daughter and her husband got divorced leaving the daughter to raise three children all by herself on a very limited income. The kids ranged in age from 7 to 12 at that time. Even though the parents were divorcing they remained very good friends and the children loved both of their parents dearly. In early 2004, the father of the three children was killed in an auto accident by a drunk driver. The children were devastated, but at least had their mom and of course the wonderful grandparents who came to see me.

Literally within weeks of the death of their father, the mother of the three children went to her doctor because she had not been feeling well at all. She thought it was just the fact that she had started a new job or possibly the stress of the death of her ex-husband. After several tests and several doctors, it was determined the mother had leukemia. Throughout the next year, the kids were shuffled between aunts, uncles, grandparents, and friends as their mom went through chemo and other treatments to fight off this leukemia which was extremely aggressive. The mother lasted only a year and then passed away in early 2005 almost to the day her ex-husband had been killed.

The children were crushed. The entire year had been one big nightmare. From the death of their father to the death of their mother and being shuttled from one home to the next as well as different schools and friends. Sometimes they were together, but for the most part they were not. The problem was that even the extended family was fairly poor and so no one could afford to have three kids at the same time. Therefore the kids were scattered amongst relatives and friends and were not being kept together at a time where it would probably be best for them to do so. There were even some noises from the state because some of the homes and people were not really suitable to be raising children.

The grandparents had come to see if anything could be done and if they could raise the children themselves. Well as it turns out, they could of course apply for guardianship of the children. They applied and the investigators came out and looked around and interviewed the older children about where they wanted to live. In the interim, the children did move in with the grandparents on a temporary basis. A few days before Christmas last year, we finally went to court and the judge granted them permanent guardianship of the three children. Raising the three children was costing the grandparents a great deal of money and they were really struggling. In fact, there was really very little Christmas planned for the family.

My office which knew this tale all too well made sure that the children’s first Christmas under their grandparent’s roof was going to be special and so a Christmas tree was bought as well as countless presents for the children. Food was bought and prepared so the grandparents did not have to worry about it. We even arranged for Santa (actually a jolly actor who used to be on the #1 TV show in America and now usually works for some brothers) to come to their house for a little pre-Christmas visit. All of us were happy to do it and it made Christmas more meaningful for all of us, but something was still missing. It was going to be a great Christmas, but the long term money problems were not going away. The grandparents income was about $2000 a month and it was fixed. They were too old really to go work and they did not have much, if any savings. Something had to be done but they were too proud to really accept charity. They understood about Christmas, but nothing more than that.

So I and some other people started making calls. We called our friends and yes those friends include celebrities. We called and called and at the same time fibbed a bit to grandma and grandpa. I called them to say that the new job their daughter had started right before being diagnosed with leukemia had offered complimentary life insurance and their daughter had signed up. We told them the amount of the policy was $200,000. We had actually raised more but set some aside because of tax concerns.

When we gave them the check three days before Christmas you should have seen how happy they were. They were so proud of their daughter for getting "life insurance" and so happy that they would be able to take better care of the children and to provide more things for the kids. When we came to see them we also brought them a brand new mini-van that friend had donated. They did not want to accept the van but we told them that it was impossible to return something like that and that it would be safer for the children then the vehicle they were using. They finally relented and accepted the mini-van.

It was such a special feeling that all of us had last Christmas and it is funny how over the course of a year that magical feeling kind of leaves you. You move onto other things, other cases and it just kind of fades.

This last week though, was their report back to court date which happens every year until the kids turn 18. This is done to just make sure that everything is going fine, etc. Well as soon as they saw me they started talking about last Christmas and the mini-van and what the money had done for them and just were completely different people than the ones I had seen one year earlier. Seeing them brought back the memories from the year before and just raised the Christmas spirit exponentially. All of a sudden I felt Christmas again and so did everyone who saw them again last week from the office. And the great thing about is that I will be reminded what the Christmas spirit is all about for the next eight or so years until the youngest turns 18.

I hope everyone has a wonderful Christmas and has the chance to experience the same kind of feeling as I was lucky enough to feel. Take care of yourselves and your family and I will see you back here next week.




Today we will start with the airing of grievances. No, not really, but if you need a festivus pole, this company sells lots of them. Remember, it is a festivus for the rest of us.

So we all know what happened the first time Jessica Simpson sang 9 to 5 at the Dolly Parton Tribute and how she will have to live that down. Maybe not to the extent of the Ashlee Simpson SNL shuffle, but close. However, after the show, Jessica had the opportunity to redo the song and everyone at the time said she nailed it. Now comes the news that Jessica does not want the song to be aired and so it will not be on the program when it is aired in the near future. The people at the Kennedy Center Honors said all the right things, but inside they must have been pissed. People were going to actually watch the show for once and now they most likely will not. My guess is the performance was far from perfect and did not want the television audience to see that and make fun of it.

When you see that Anna Nicole Smith has to have her daughter take a paternity test, it just gets you to thinking. No, not if Anna's daughter is already strung out or if Howard K Stern is really a man. No, it gets you to wondering what would happen if someone ordered a DNA test on Suri Cruise? That would make a great Maury.

See, DJ AM is going about this the wrong way. He is asking his friends to set him up with someone famous. What he should do that would be fun for everyone is give a certain Miss Hilary Duff a phone call and say, "I have an idea." See, what would happen is you would have the four way fight with Joel and Nicole on one side and then Hilary and Adam on the other. Basically a standoff, until Nicole tags Paris, and Hilary is forced to tag Haylie. See, that is where Paris is going to lose. Paris does have the man hands, but I think Haylie fights dirty. Of course Paris and Haylie could end up falling in love, but really that is for another time.


Hmmmm. Angelina Jolie did not say she would be doing less films, she said "we will be doing less films." I guess she speaks for both of them. Where was that whip again?


Thursday, December 21, 2006

Four For Friday (ahem Thursday)

This A list TV actor has a hit show. Our star is no rookie when it comes to meeting women, but perhaps next time he will learn from his mistakes. Last week our A-lister was at a very nice LA eatery with a few of his friends. Drinks were consumed and then more drinks and yet even more. Our star became more and more obnoxious as the drinking continued. He spent the last hour of his evening going from one table to another hitting on women and inviting them back to his place. He kept repeating, "Don’t you know who I am?" over and over as he would attempt to grope and otherwise harass the women in the establishment. As more and more people complained, our A-lister was finally tossed. Usually money talks in these situations, but not this time. The eatery was not going to be bribed. They just wanted him gone and did not even charge him for the meal or drinks just to be rid of him sooner.

This former late night television actor was one of the biggest stars of the 80's and early 90's. Now he has to keep moving from one part of the country to another just to find work. He used to have groupies everywhere he went, but now they are no more. Our actor still has plenty of cash from his days gone by and so hires escorts to pretend they are groupies and that they just cannot get enough of him. He even makes them ask for autographs.

Talk about freaky. This young actress just cannot get an invitation to anyone’s house. If she wants to party, it has to be at her place. The reason? Whenever she visits other people’s homes, she just cannot leave the valuables alone. More than once she has been confronted by her hosts or other guests as she takes whatever items will fit into her purse. If it were just little things, no one would mind because she does bring the supplies for the party. However, she has a bit more expensive taste than just the odd knick knack. She has a fondness for diamonds and other fine jewelry.

This actress has been on and off the A list for years. Now and then you think she is going to give it up and just be a wife, but she just keeps fighting. A few weeks ago, it looked like she had got into a fight and had to stay home for a week. A huge black eye started everyone whispering about abuse, but it turns out her plastic surgeon missed just slightly when injecting our heroine with Botox.

There is just not much going on today so forgive me if it does not give you enough of a gossip fix. Later today will be the Four For Friday moved to Thursday. The reason for that is I have another item tomorrow which is in the vein of L which seemed more appropriate before the long holiday weekend.

I talk about punisherz quite often and it is simply because I think they are incredible. (also they love this blog which helps) They have come up with a style that is really unique. It is 3 women and one guy (who is the Ryan Seacrest for Australian Idol) who formed a band although none can play an instrument. Through word of mouth and self-promotion that would make Angelina Jolie proud they have manged to achieve a great deal of fame in Australia. On New Years Eve they will be the band playing as the clock strikes midnight at one of the largest music festivals in Australia.




Reading between the lines in this article, it appears that guys no longer have sex with Jessica Simpson in person. Instead, they have phone sex. What I would be wondering if I was the guy on the other end is whether Papa Joe was listening in and then critiquing afterwards.

So, if you have an imagination then the News of the World is prepared to pay you $15,000 for your story. It is a plus if your imagination can come up with a story that says you are the love child of Mel Gibson. I know this story is a few days old, but the money part is new. I think we should all call this paper and say we are the love child of so and so. I am not a fan of Mel Gibson, but I think the mom just told the daughter the story because either she did not know who the father was or was ashamed. Let's look at a pic of Mel, his "love child" (why do they call it a love child anyway? Seems like it would be a lust child or one night stand child.) and Mel's grandchild.





Posh Spice says she cut off her hair so she could have better sex with her husband. I think it either fell out from all the changes, because she is a fembot, or because she really is an alien and not just portraying one in a Tom Cruise movie.



Hilary Duff thinks Nicole Richie is a "skank." Be nice everyone, it is the holidays.










Wednesday, December 20, 2006

This actor was in the highest grossing film of all time. However that does not seem to be enough magic to get his on again off again long-time girlfriend to the altar. She loves him, BUT is never going to get married to him or any other MAN.

This A list long-time married actor with kids decided to enjoy some of the first snow of the year. Of course no weekend in the snow would be fun if he were alone or with his wife, so he brought his girlfriend. They thought they had slipped the paps back in LA, but whoops, they had been spotted. Thinking fast, our beloved A-lister called his wife who volunteered to come out to the cabin in the middle of the night and acted as if she expected the girlfriend to be there all along.

Usually this gay (dropping quickly to B) actor is suspected of being gay but has never come out to the general public. The reason for this confidential item though is that lately his many boy toys have reported drugs strewn around his LA house and that more often that not, the actor is not up for the task at hand. Looks like his career is not the only thing not rising to where it was.



I think the time has come for us to learn the truth. No more comments like," a friend said Jennifer Aniston has a broken heart or she thinks Angelina Jolie is a witch." I think Ms. Aniston herself or her publicist should e-mail me and let me know exactly what is what so we can stop talking about what she may or may not be feeling or thinking or what the timeline was when Angelina "loved going to work."




See, when I hear the truth, I can report the truth. So, I can tell you for a fact that Britney Spears did NOT cheat on K-Fed with "piano around neck guy aka PANG" or JR Rotten or whatever his name is. Britney knew JR, but nothing happened until AFTER the infamous text. It is also my understanding that Britney got a little drunk the other night when she was bumping and grinding with JR and that will not happen again. (not the drinking part, but the bumping and grinding with JR) Speaking of the piano around the neck guy, it looks like the 17 year old was not enough for the week so he decided to take a shot at Bai Ling. After I was so complimentary to Bai about her diversity award she went and did this.























In the relationships that are either plain disturbing or just will not last department. On one side we have Hilary Swank dating her agent. (I smell a lawsuit down the road and definitely a switch in agents.) The other side brings us Sharon Stone and Christian Slater. The latter coupling is specifically why the terms OMG and WTF? were invented. I really hope Sharon enjoys strip clubs and that Christian enjoys writing songs and attending charity events.














Random hypothetical thought - "If you get me pregnant again or at least let me tell the world how much I love my baby and how I want another one, I will let you go live with your male ex-lover for a few weeks. I will keep the focus on me while you go do your tranny thing."

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Thank you all for the comments and e-mails about Little Britain. I get BBC America, but have yet to watch the show. Lately on BBC I just have been watching Gordon Ramsay's two shows. I checked the schedule for Little Britain and it appears I miss it because it comes on in the middle of the night. So, I will set my DVR and make sure I do not miss any future episodes. Now, someone send me some photos or a YouTube link from the reception. I am sorry Hugh Grant did not get into the festive mood of the wedding. Maybe his blind item romance is not going well?


So, it seems as if the tranny lover from last Friday is going to be reunited with his original crush in the very near future. Will K-Fed be the man in the middle? Perhaps Whitney Houston will be the man in the middle. Did I say that?

When this A-List couple got divorced (were they really ever married?) he wanted to keep all the lingerie and other intimate apparel he had purchased for her. It took weeks to go through all the store receipts and bookkeeping records to find out who had purchased what. Some thought he wanted the lingerie out of spite because of her rumored cheating, and others think it is because he enjoys wearing it, even if it is too big.

What high-profile, huge wedding, marriage of convenience (not last Friday’s) is coming apart because he started sleeping with her boy toys instead of finding his own and is doing so in an unprotected way?

Monday, December 18, 2006

When an actress says "you'll be seeing a lot more of me" it really does have different connotations than it used to. I would hope that Reese Witherspoon does not mean she is going to go the upskirt route.





I think I really need to worry about my taste in movies because I actually liked most of the worst Christmas movies ever. I will admit to liking the worst of the bunch because I always loved Phil Hartman. Bad Santa is on the list? That is just not right. I don't think these people actually saw the movies. Bad Santa just screams Christmas miracle along with warm and fuzzy. (Plus Lauren would kick my ass if I ever said anything bad about it) Also, what is Christmas without Christmas Vacation or Home Alone? What is not to like about those movies? In fact, here is a website totally devoted to Christmas Vacation. I am glad to see the list makers at least refrained from adding The Ref which is in my top 3 or 4 Christmas films.

I have always admired Richard Branson and think the way he conducts his business and his life are incredible. So what on earth is he doing inviting Paris Hilton to his secret New Years Eve party in Sydney? There are so many things wrong with this. First that Paris Hilton would be invited across the world to sing is unsettling. Second, that this Richard Branson party is secret, yet everyone knows about it means it is not really a secret. Maybe he is inviting her to contrast his company Virgin with someone who is not. (although she does think sex is sacred) The only good thing is that Paris will be out of the country for the New Year. (Are you going to go Mel? Please tell me the punisherz are opening for Silverchair and not Paris)

Gay marriage is really going to have a tough time gaining a foothold if Elton John makes it a habit to attend said gay weddings dressed as Captain Hook and Courtney Love as the Queen of Hearts. I want details of what happened at the pantomime themed reception. The picture to the left is one groom dressed as Aladdin and the other as Prince Charming. There must have been a mix-up with costumes because Sir Elton's boyfriend also came dressed as Prince Charming.

Miss USA gets to stay which I personally think is the right move. I think the Donald just wanted to stretch this out to try and get some publicity for the pageant which does not really make the splash it used to. What bothers me is that every article yesterday and for the preceding few days all said she was going to be forced out, and kept talking about Miss USA being dumped because she allegedly is out of control, abusing cocaine, regularly hooks up with Miss Teen USA (btw, next week someone will say there is a sex tape of the two together), sneaks men into her apartment, blah blah blah. You know what? Tara Conner is a name you will remember just like Vanessa Williams. Quick, name any other Miss America or Miss USA winners. Tough isn't it? First Project Runway, now, the world baby. I don't think she planned this of course. But, she has a much better chance of making it in the entertainment business now than she did before. In addition, she will not be forced to attend chili cook-offs for the rest of her life to remind herself of past glory. Instead she can go on Howard Stern or make cameos in Brett Ratner movies. Seriously. Vanessa Williams did ok for herself and I think Tara will also. Happy Birthday Tara!!!

This one took me awhile to write because of its sensitive nature. You will discover that for yourself when you read it. I also want to say in advance that nothing has been proved and at this point the investigation continues.


A woman came into the office for her first appointment. I guessed she was in her 40's but it is always hard to tell in LA. I did not recognize her last name because she was using her maiden name. When she said her ex-husband’s name, I did a double take. I honestly did not know he had been married prior to his current marriage, let alone had other children. He (singer/actor B lister on a very good day and is currently on a hit tv show, lets call him "M.")

They had been divorced for quite some time when she came into the office. You could tell by looking at her that she had once been attractive, but she was not going to age well. She looked like the years since the divorce were taking their toll on her. She came into the office because she wanted to change the custody and visitation agreement she currently had with M.

The reason for the change was their daughter. For many years M and his daughter ("D") had a very close relationship. That relationship changed somewhat as his children that he lived with grew older. For some reason, the relationship with D was turning into something less father/daughter and more into something less innocent.
D is a lovely girl in her mid-teens. She was always outgoing and bright and got along well with everyone. Over the past year though she had grown withdrawn and seemed quiet and lonely. She was acting differently towards her mother and also dressing in a manner which did not scream innocence, but rather something more slutty and trashy. D’s mom thought at first this was just a teenager thing and that D would soon move on into something else.

When things did not get any better and D was becoming more and more popular with boys, mom tried to get D to see a psychiatrist. This did not work out. D did not want to open up to strangers. Nothing was working, and D was becoming more and more withdrawn. Mom was worried that D might attempt suicide as D seemed so depressed.




Then, one night out of the blue before D was scheduled to see her dad for the weekend, she confided to her mom that she did not want to see her dad then or ever again. D broke down and told her mom that about a year ago she woke up during the night and found M looking at her and touching himself while she was sleeping. He had pulled off her covers and was staring at her. M apologized and left the room quickly. Nothing more was said about it until the next time D visited. That weekend, M spent time with D alone and explained to her how he felt about her and that he just could not help himself. He thought of her as a woman and not his daughter. At first D was flattered because her dad had been spending more time with his other kids. She was special to dad. M wanted to show D how special she was and so over the next few months he proceeded to not only do what he had done the first night she awakened, but also made her perform sexual acts on him and he had sex with her.

D had not told anyone because she enjoyed the extra attention she was getting. She wanted to be the best for her dad so she started having sex with other boys so she could practice with them. The problem was, she did not like the person she was becoming, and so one day, she just stopped. At that point her dad became violent and tried to force himself on her. She ran away from him and feigned illness so that her step-mom would take her home. She had not been back, and this upcoming weekend would have been her first time back since the episode. She just decided she was not going to take it anymore.

Mom did not let her go over to M’s house that weekend and then came into the office to make sure D never had to go back. D is old enough to where she never has to go back if she does not want to and she has no intention to do so. M has actually gone to court to try and convince the court that he should be able to spend time with his daughter even if it is supervised. The full allegations made by D were never in the court filings. Only the first episode is mentioned, and it was made more PG in the filing. D and her mom want to handle this themselves and do not want the attention thrust on them that a full investigation would produce. However, they also wanted to make sure the other children were safe that were still living in the house. Therefore mom made an anonymous call to CPS and that investigation is continuing but as far as I know has not produced anything or it would have DEFINITELY come out.


M has always denied everything that happened and promises to sue if anything is ever released publicly. He said anything that did happen was just a misunderstanding. It must be said that Mom and D did not get anything out of this. There is no extra child support coming or spousal support. D just wanted to get away from her dad.

Even serial killers have Myspace pages. Here is the Myspace page of the man being questioned for the serial killings of prostitutes in the UK. His picture has been removed from the page, but the rest is still up as of noon PST.


Nick Lachey is not getting married for a very longtime, let alone by the end of the year. The only thing that would change that is if Vanessa were pregnant. (That is the one thing I cannot find out. They will not tell me if Vanessa is pregnant.) Nick wants kids, BUT that does not mean he is going to run from one marriage to another. My source when it comes to all things Lachey has always been right and there is no reason to doubt them now.

The problem is never actually taking the naked photos.The problem is when you decide to download them to the family computer and expect no one to notice. If that is not bad enough, the worst thing you can do is if you do decide to download them, don’t you think you should maybe delete them before getting kicked out of the house and letting your wife find them?

I do not know which article I believe less. Cameron Diaz having a girl crush on Pam Anderson or Moby actually having a crush on a woman. Honestly, when I saw the headline that Moby had a crush on an Arquette my first instinct was to think it was Alexis. I thought well that is kind of creepy but, hey he is a guy...for now. Patricia never came to my mind. How about you? As far as Pam and Cameron, I think she got put on the spot and could not think of another woman when the idea crossed her mind. Pam has been in the news so, voila girl crush on Pam. The only other woman in the news that could pop in her head would be Britney? Yeah that would go over well at home.

Paris is protective of her men? Ummm, how many guys has she been with? Takes a lot of effort to watch that many guys.

I have nothing to base this on except that you know Christina Aguilera is never going to find a guy who sucks up as much as Jordan must. Seriously, where is she going to get that kind of devotion? Angelina disciplining Brad has nothing on this one.

Hi, I am 31 years old, and dress like I am 17 so I might as well date a 17 year old. "I am the only person on earth who could make K-Fed look good."