Friday, March 30, 2007

Ted C Blind Item From Yesterday

Yeah, well, Slurpa Pop-Off's hair extensions were just falling out the other night at a fancy-ass party—I'm so riveted by that one, aren't you all, my jaded nelly-jellies? Really, I am.

Nevertheless, I'm going to go with a new member of the Blind Vice family—though, I must say, what earns her a mention in these asshole annals of abhorrent Hell-Ay behavior among the rich and stupid, is, well, utterly stupidola (and nothing new)! Read on:

Apple Marvini has it all (and I mean all). She's loaded as s--t. She's fairly well dressed, still got a decent bod. She gives regularly to charity, she's not without talent and she's newly searching for a legalized mattress mate—such fun when money's no object, n'est-ce pas? But perhaps that's just the prob.

The only guys A.M. seems to attract (including her most promising current prospect for a union) are those who are also into the majorly moneyed habits, not so much activities involving multiple climaxes and cleaning up the sheets afterward.

Yes, like many a less well-off gal throughout the nation, Ms. Em has found herself hankering for a dude who cares more about having his undies starched than dirtying up hers. Why do women do this, time after time? Granted, making the help cry can be sickly fascinating (A. and her "man" do this equally adeptly), but isn't holding the one you love—and lust for—till the sun comes up worth anything? Not to A.M., apparently. As she has, after all, made it quite clear she's not overly fond of what that cuddling (and accompanying commotion) produced with her last man.

37 comments:

Anonymous said...

I say it's Ellen Barkin...it fits to a T since her divorce from Ron Perelman.

Mistik said...

Nope, my money's on Tory Burch, the recently divorced, socialite turned business woman with a thriving fashion empire. Most recently dating Lance Armstrong, the frequent target of gay rumors....

Based on the comment "still got a good body" I think it has to be an older divorcee.... And I don't think Ellen Barkin is in a huge rush to remarry. The fact that he didn't say it's an actress also indicates Tory to me...

betnsup said...

Before I even finishing reading this - thank you for making the link pop up into a new window!!!

Anonymous said...

Ellen Barkin...he says "she's not without talent". What is Tory Burch known talent? Everyone said her clothing/accessories line was underwhelming.

Anonymous said...

Check out Lainey's pic of choice for the Ebola today. Slurpa Popoff...LOL.

Anonymous said...

"As she has, after all, made it quite clear she's not overly fond of what that cuddling (and accompanying commotion) produced with her last man."

Ellen Barkin caused a commotion at a restaurant when she threw iced water on Perelman, according to Page Six, 11/20/06. And having Christie's auction her jewelry netted her a cool $20 million and what a stir that caused!!

Anonymous said...

Maybe understated would be a better term for Tory Burch. Her line or "look"is more for the urban mom/wife/ladies who lunch types.

Anonymous said...

What about Jennifer Aniston?

mzmarymac said...

Anon 11:26 you took the words right out of my mouth...Jen!

Pinky said...

I thought the line "she's not overly fond of what that cuddling (and accompanying commotion) produced with her last man." meant a kid.

No guess, just that observation.

Anonymous said...

One of the Ted BV posters is guessing it was an STD rather than a child that the cuddling produced. GAC

Anonymous said...

Is slurpa Paris?

Pinky said...

Ah! That makes sense too! Thanks GAC. And yes, I believe Slurpa is supposed to be Paris.

Pinky said...

Oh - and what clue do you think he's talking about with the Molly Sims post?

Anonymous said...

kimora?

Stacy said...

I'm inclined to think Ellen Barkin as well, plus her last man, George Clooney could well have given her something she doesn't want...

More importantly, why is EL posting a Ted C blind today? Think its extra clues for his own BI's?

Be Adequite! said...

Here's Molly Sims on IMDB

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0801356/

...any thoughts? My brain hurts today.

Anonymous said...

These are hard! I think there has been other sites' blinds posted here but the regulars would know best. I kind of like Mariah Carey for this one but haven't done the research to see if it fits yet. Kimora sounds good too, although wasn't she just outed as BI/L? GAC

Anonymous said...

What about Katie Couric? Her man is a Jazz player...she has kids...and everyone always talks about what a great body she has for her age.

Anonymous said...

angelina jolie! she's not too fond of shiloh...

Anonymous said...

Slurpa is a walking petri dish.

Midwest Surfer

Anonymous said...

ok, so on Molly Simms. I am touching on the 'clue'. Someone mentioned that her necklace looked like it might be two female symbols intertwined. What do you think about her for this BI?:

"This actress has had her ups and downs and been big and small in her television and film career. On her current hit show, all of the cast and crew have tried to play cupid, but to no avail. Although she was recognized in the past, nothing prepared her for what she is going through now. Previously, even when on a popular show she was able to be with her female lovers in public, but that is no longer possible. Instead she goes on a blind date with a guy and finds something wrong. She then delays as long as possible before being set up again. She longs for her old life where she did not have to hide. She used to have a long distance beard but that ended when her relationship with her ex girlfriend ended. She wants to come out but is afraid despite the fact that real life and fiction are not always so different."

Her IMDB says she is bi-coastal. So her long distance beard could have been the fiancee mentioned on IMDB and he probably lived in NY while she filmed in LA??

Kim

Kathy said...

Apple Marvini is Angelina Jolie. Absolutely. Like another poster said -- she's expressed less fondness for her daughter with Brad (that's what the cuddling produced -- the commotion was what went on with the pap in Nambibia) than with her adopted children. Obviously she gives to charity, obviously she's loaded, and clearly her most recent prospect (Pitt), is into a lot of the same things.

Slurpa is Lindsay Lohan.

Anonymous said...

Slurpa is PARIS.

Anonymous said...

Kim - I think the key phrase there is "real life and fiction". So someone who plays a lesbian on tv... someone from The L Word perhaps? Never watched the show, but will do some research right now!

Anonymous said...

Kathy

Slurpa is Paris

Morgan Mayhem is Lindsay Lohan

natd said...

Can't be Angie Jolie-she and Brad are still together, and A.M. is looking for a new mate after a breakup.

Nice try, though

MissBliss said...

AM could not be Angelina Jolie. I dont think anyone would say "they still have a decent bod" about her considering she is considered to be one of the most beautiful women in the world and is still quite young. I suspect this person is older.

Lara said...

No, it isn't Angelina. She's well known to be Vampirella Vein-Pop in Ted's items.

MissBliss said...

Im wondering whether it could be one of the famous divourcees or widows.

For some reason I think it is either Candy Spelling (gives to charity, publicly hated Tori for a while there - and probably still does) or it could also be Melissa Matheson, Harrison Fords Ex wife who received a $90m divorce settlement and is considered a talented screenwriter.

I also considered Amy Irving, Steven Speilbergs ex wife who received a $100m divorce settlement, who gets alot of acting work including the play she is starring in at the moment.

MissBliss said...

I take it all back. I think AM is Denise Rich. Wealthy, dresses well, is considered to be quite attractive for her age and does alot for charity. She has also been the subject of a number of scandals, including an alledged affair with Bill Clinton that has been documented in a book that will be released this year, and a lawsuit that resulted after she allegedly (and unsuccessfully) hit on a financial advisor.

Anonymous said...

what about uma? didn't she just break up with her boyfriend/fiance/whatever they were?

missbliss said...

Pretty nice guess but im not sure uma would be loaded as s--t in the grand scheme of things. many actresses would have alot more. I also dont think there is any doubt that she has more than a decent bod.

jj said...

Denise Richards used to work for Hollywood Madam Heidi Fleiss. So was that an "affair" with Bill Clinton that she had or more of a "paid affair?" :)

JJ

MissBliss said...

No, not Denise Richards. Denise Rich.

:)

Anonymous said...

Vampirella Vein Pop is thought to be Teri Hatcher - apparently on high resolution there is a vein that sticks out of her forehead... :-)

Anonymous said...

how about renee zellweger (sp)? she fits most of the description.