Friday, April 20, 2007

Ted C Blind Item

Thelma Turnip is looking rather like, well, a turnip these days.
Hardly the secret, really, as T2's puss-ravaging lifestyle has left her cover-ready looks a little worse for the wear these past few years. Not even my Aunt Martha in Texas is surprised to see T.T. looking like a slightly younger version of Barbara Bush at myriad H-town events.

But Thelma-doll's looks ain't exactly the point of this item—it's her career, which everyone from the fruit sprayer at Gelson's to CAA honchos is debating whether or not is salvageable. My guess? No way.

Why? Because the top spinmeisters in town (ya know, the crowd that's known for darling little campaigns such as convincing the American public that Eddie Murphy is a "Good Samaritan" because he gave a peeyem ride to a transvestite) are turning down T.T. right 'n' leery left. Jeez, that says somethin', I'm tellin' ya.

"She's not ready," one of T-town's premier Machiavellian types told me after she had been asked to raise Ms. Turnip's chances for a professional resurgence. When pressed, the wizard at reinventing fallen entertainment idols told me Ms. Turnip is still—you guessed it—not exactly cleaned up, as everyone currently thinks.

Hey, I used to be addicted to that crap, I know how tough it is—good luck, Thelma! We're prayin' for ya, you gonzo g-friend!

75 comments:

Anonymous said...

Natasha Lyonne?...although I hope not. I've enjoyed all of her work and would like to see more of her.

Anonymous said...

The usual suspects: eithe britney or LL.

Anonymous said...

Whitney Houston.

SpiN said...

courtney love

Anonymous said...

kelly clarkson?

Be Adequite! said...

Melanie Griffith or CZJ? If it's even an actress? What about Whitney Houston?

Anonymous said...

"and it's not..." includes C.Love, Heather Locklear and Sarah Ferguson. The Ferguson one throws me a bit, makes me think Fergie. The Heather one makes me think Pam Anderson (Tommy Lee connection). I think LiLo and Britney are too young, but they do seem obvious. It's probably a combination of all of them, b/c I'm sure none of these ladies are "clean"

Anonymous said...

i was thinking whitney houston 'cause of the texas reference

Anonymous said...

I vote Pam Anderson. She is still using and it is showing in her face. I think thats why Kid Rock dumped her.

hello kitty said...

Who knows why Kid Rock dumped Pam.... but lets just say that her official line these days is that she's spending more time being a mom than pursuing a career.

I'd be more inclined to guess Whitney, what with the blond wig and the crackhead pictures taken in convienience stores.........

brendalove@gmail.com said...

ALL of 'em are looking bad.

Anonymous said...

lindsay's blind vice nickname is "morgan mayhem" so it's not about her

Anonymous said...

I can't think of anyone bigger right now from Houston but beyonce.

Anonymous said...

must be whitney

Anonymous said...

I guess I'm going with Milla Jovovitch after that pic from this morning, but I think they're all looking pretty beat up though.

(And it could always be Jude Law!)

Anonymous said...

I have to go with the concensus on this and say Whitney. She's been about a lot lately and looking pretty good but you are never totally sure with her.

The age range puts Whitney in the frame at least, along with some of the other clues. The 'prayin' part makes me think this person has sung gospel or has some links to gospel music styles either through music or film. The Bodyguard soundtrack has that song, I think it's called Jesus Loves Me.

Kathy said...

Oh, this is SO Whitney Houston.

voice of reason said...

They're all interchangable. Sad, plastic addicts the lot of them. These blogs have got me all jaded.

kchal11267 said...

Yeah, but isn't Clive sponsoring Whitney - wouldn't you say everyone is saying that Whitney is looking great and all of that - like comeback is already coming... this sounds to me like someone who hasn't even started the comeback PR blitz...

hello kitty said...

The 'prayin' part = The Preacher's Wife

Anonymous said...

It's Natasha Lyonne... there was a photo of her on the red carpet at a recent Hollywood movie premier (I can't recall which one) where she was bloated & tragically dressed.

Anonymous said...

Actually I believe the story is that Pam dumped Kid.
I don't know if this means anything but, Ted compares himself to this women whoever she is and I do believe he was an alcoholic. So is he saying that is what she is addicted to? Alcohol? Or is he a recovering drug addict, too?

mary mac said...

I know who this is...

Miss Piggy...

It's been a while since she's been in anything and that whole gonzo g-friend clue says a lot.

I never realized she had addiction problems, but I guess that answers the question as to why she isn't seen out and about with Kermie anymore.

Oh...and pigs LOVE turnips!!!

Anonymous said...

Ted has confirmed that the pictures with the blind item are a clue so I'm guessing that TT is an older woman.

Courtney Love, Heather Locklear and Sarah Ferguson. What a strange trio of women. What do they have in common? Courtney was famous for wearing a tiara. Sarah is Duchess of York. Heather??

I also think that the reference to Texas is a clue. Same with the Eddie Murphy tangent.

Be Adequite! said...

Maybe parts of their last names...Love, Lock, Fergie= no friggin clue on that one!

mary mac said...

Here's further proof of Miss Piggy's dark side:

http://www.toughpigs.com/anthnewstuff13.htm

Also-Sarah Furguson, the Duchess of York
Miss Piggy, the Duchess of Pork

Heather Locklear-famous blond linked with bad boys

Courtney Love-everyone loves Miss Piggy...

I think we've got our girl here, folks!

mary mac said...

OK...all kidding aside...not sure if Texas is a clue, but Ted is from Texas...

Anyway..the CAA is the Creative Artists Agency, which primarily reps actors...here is a list of who has them:

[edit] People represented by CAA
Jennifer Aniston
Kate Beckinsale
Jessica Biel
Aaron Blitzstein
Orlando Bloom
Ryan Leslie
Pierce Brosnan
Drew Brees
Nicolas Cage
Eddie Cibrian
George Clooney
Tom Cruise
Cameron Diaz
Vin Diesel
LaDainian Tomlinson
Justin Smith
Shaun Alexander
Tony Gonzalez
Roy Williams
Matt Dillon
Hilary Duff
Colin Farrell
Michael J. Fox
Amy Grant
Tom Hanks
Naomie Harris
Marvin Harrison
Anne Hathaway
Katie Holmes
Ryan Howard
Derek Jeter
Nicole Kidman
Stephen King
Matt Leinart
Lindsay Lohan
Terrence Malick
Eli Manning
Peyton Manning
Matt Baker (football player)
Demetri Martin
John Mayer
Krystal Meyers
Helen Mirren
Julianne Moore
Viggo Mortensen
Chad Pennington
Brad Pitt
Natalie Portman
Keanu Reeves
Jason Statham
Meryl Streep
Robin Williams
Reese Witherspoon
Andrew W.K.
This World Fair
Roland Emmerich
Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck
Hagen Bogdanski
Alton Brown
Leonardo DiCaprio
Kate Winslet

Thought it was interesting that Cameron Diaz was on there...hmmmm

mary mac said...

Now I'm thinking I have another hint that it might be Piggy...

The wizard reference...
Frank Oz is Piggy's creator...

so sad...wonder if she's rep'd by the CAA

B :) said...

On my search for who the turnip is.
I read that Shelley Long checked in a to mental facility in January.
Yesterday she was rushed to the hospital in a suicide attempt. :(

kchal11267 said...

Yes, but I think Miss Piggy has been aging rather well - ;-) So that has to rule her out

Anonymous said...

Whitney Houston:

-Thelma (Houston)
-puss ravaging (rumors about Whit)
-Wiz (wasn't she in the Wiz??)

Anonymous said...

^
Cissy Houston was in the Wiz

brendalove@gmail.com said...

No Diana Ross was in the Wiz

brendalove@gmail.com said...

Okay, let me tell you my train of thought here....

He says "gonzo girlfriend" which made me think of Dr. Hunter S. Thompson. Which made me think of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. Which made me think of the movie which stars my secret lover, Johnny Depp.

Okay, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas had three female stars.....Cameron Diaz, Ellen Barkin, and Christina Ricci.

Am I barking up the wrong tree here?

Anonymous said...

Renee Zellwegger
She's from Houston, Texas and hasn't starred in anything for a while.

ashley said...

renee is from texasbut is making a movie with George Clooney right now. So it can't be her

Invisible said...

ok as much as the blinds puzzle me... but you guys make it worse...

its whitney.. and

ENT??? you were a crackhead? or ted? see i told all i get confused...

Anonymous said...

Cissy was part of the choir and uncredited in 'The Wiz.' Would this be enough for Ted to use the wizard reference? Don't know.
Maybe Ellen Barkin since she hadn't done much work while married,and maybe she has a substance problem.
Juju

Anonymous said...

This screams Britney. Plus she just fired her publicist so that's another reason several PR types are hesitant to work w/her. She's destroyed her looks and at her young age, she looks old and haggard.

fo real said...

who is Miss Piggy?

fo real said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
kim said...

pamela anderson

mary mac said...

Britney's a good guess actually...she has been looking like Barbara Bush what with her crazy wigs and all and the puss comment could sure refer to her puss showing dresses as of late.

She did fire her agent and everyone thinks she's clean but has been saying crazy things in the press.

And....she does look like a turnip with that bald head of hers...

Anonymous said...

I rally think it is Britney, but wouldn't she have been annointed with a moniker already?

Pinky said...

Ted's always mentioning TX because he's from there. I don't think it means anything to the BI. Just my 2 cents.

Anonymous said...

definitely Whitney Houston (Texas)

Anonymous said...

It is totally Pam Anderson. She has a total drug problem and pics of her that came out the other day showed how rough she is looking. If you read Ted's article, it reference's Pam that day. He said, about a star wearing fur,"Hope Pam doesn't read this" -The Heather connection is obvious as is the Courtney- who also both are currently or in past, depending on the week, are majorly in to drugs. Dont get the Fergie clue at all though.

Anonymous said...

He says that the celebrity is seen at "myriad H-town events"... meaning Houston. It is someone who spend an awful lot of time in Texas.

Anonymous said...

H-town is Ted speak for Hollywood.

Anonymous said...

Pam Anderson does NOT have a drug problem...get a clue. I happen to work within her inner circle and you know what...SHE dumped his sorry ass and she isn't sad about it.

She's a great single Mom who focuses 100% on her kids, please stop the hate people.

Anonymous said...

if you read the last two paragraphs he says "fallen entertainment idol"

who hasn't fallen harder than Britney?

Don Imus?

Anonymous said...

My guess is Whitney Houston. I don't think her come back is working out, and she was doing some pretty heavy drugs for a lot of years.

Anonymous said...

sounds like britney but she has actually been looking better lately. she's lost weight and looks toned. it would be a shame if its her.

bionic bunny! said...

anon 4:01:
that's one of the funniest things i've read all week!!

Anonymous said...

This is an actress. When Ted says everybody is turning down T.T. it is for movie roles.
It is Meg Ryan. She is on the smack.

Anonymous said...

anon 12:39 renae zellweger is pure genious. it's def her. she's obviously a coke head...look at her weight issues

trixi

Anonymous said...

The Miss Piggy posts completely lack humor.

Anonymous said...

Pammie may not have a "drug problem" but she's an alkie.

Anonymous said...

So obviously Britney Spears. No doubt in my mind. I have seen several videos of her this week jokingly commenting on her situation, and she sounds as if she's pretty out of it and about to snap again. And now all the trouble with her dad. She'll probably crash again within a week.

F.

Anonymous said...

puss-ravaging means face destroying. Stop trying to read something sexual into it.

Virgo74 said...

Laura Flynn Boyle!!! She recently married a man in Texas and it has been said she has been trying to come back to the spotlight.

And she looks more fuller now as well (turnip reference).

missbliss said...

Initially I thought this might be whitney but im not sure if everyone thinks that she is clean? It wouldnt suprise me in the slightest if she wasnt!

Someone who has been to rehab recently and is trying to get back into the spotlight. Could be Britney although I am positive that she would have been given another moniker

Ellen Barkin does not look older than her age and is in the new Oceans movie.

Pam Anderson has not had a publicised battle with drugs or alcohol (even if she does indulge, she hasnt gone to rehab or anything) so the comment about not being cleaned up doesnt apply to her either.

Not sure what the 'and its not' pictures point to either

Anonymous said...

I think it's Whitney Houston based on the following Ted-speak "clues": mention of texas (Houston), an aunt (Whitney's aunt is Dionne Warwick), the ages of the "and it aint's" are around Houston's age, Eddie Murphy was her boyfriend before she married BB.

Anonymous said...

i hate that i live in france, thus am 9 hours ahead of california in time... thus can never leave comments when everyone else is! anyways, i think the gonzo reference is muchos important, and whomever mentioned hunter s thompson was on the right path. he coined the term gonzo. so it's either someone who was in an hunter s thompson flick, or someone who represents the term gonzo. although britney fits this bi, she does not fit the term gonzo, plus i'm certain she has a different moniker. i wonder if anyone ever reads my comments... i hate being 9 hours ahead!
lexi

AllyUK said...

Hi Lexi, I read your posts:) I'm on a similar time-zone to you, maybe off by an hour so I'm out of step with the others too.

This blind item has me stumped. Ted C always confuses me, it's difficult sifting through real clues and red herrings. At first I thought Courtney Love or Tara Reid, then when others mentioned Whitney and it made sense. I wonder if Britney is too obvious. I stick with Whitney.

SoBeach said...

I'm thinking the reference to Texas means that EVERYONE, unless they're living under a rock knows of this person's situation due to constant press.

I think Britney (almost) perfectly matches this BI. She is in the news almost daily. The only thing is she hasn't been seen at "events" (red carpet) -- unless her shopping, dance class and spa outings are being referred to as events.

As well, her behavior is bizare (even if she's being sarcastic), that I doubt anyone wants to be associated /work with her right now (i.e. Justin T., etc.)

If the Texas reference were to mean more, she is always in cowboy boots and lately a cowboy hat.

Finally, she hasn't been "cover ready" in few years and IMHO she is definitely not ready yet.

Anonymous said...

HEather and Courtney were both married to rockers at one point.

Anonymous said...

FARAH FAWCETT or Meg Ryan (?)

Anonymous said...

its too obvious to be britney!
i think its whitney!

first of all britney hasn't been "partying" for years. she went on her party binge after filing for divorce which amounted to 3 months, she was pregnant for two years back to back before filing for divorce.

second of all britney is represented by the william morris agency, and not CAA.

whitney has been partying for years! how long did she live in her crack den without leaving her house? her voice is practically ruined. hers is the biggest comeback people are waiting for besides britney.

the ages of the other women are around whitney's age.

Anonymous said...

I KNOW what puss-ravaging means literaly, but Ted uses phrases with double meanings. Get a clue before you shoot others down.

be adequite! said...

IT'S LI LO. Ted's BI's names for his characters are always in the same format: the amount of syllables in the names are the same: Thelma Turnip (2-2)/ Lindsay Lohan (2-2).
i love bi's!

hell to the no! said...

Or it could be whitney houston (2-2)

Anonymous said...

Lord, that's so Whitney. Eddie used to be her ex; the Texas reference DOES apply to Houston (H-Town; hello?!?!?) and the gonzo reference was to the show she and Bobby did; that reality mess that let you see what a hell of a mess she was/is. (Gonzo like Seymore Butts' porn movies, get it?) And people have been talking of a comeback since she left Bobby!! That is so sad but we all know crack-cocaine is really difficult to kick completely (a la the "puss ravaging" reference; , pipelips.) Wow, I really hope she can get herself together. She really is a talented woman!!!

Anonymous said...

Fergie from the Black Eyed Peas. Used to be addicted to crystal meth. Has been looking awful and much aged recently - seemingly has aged 10 years in one.

Turnip = Peas
Sarah Ferguson picture = Fergie

Pretty obvious if you aks me.

Virgo74 said...

I think that this is Whitney Houston,