Friday, May 18, 2007

A Special ZX Treat For The Weekend

I taught my best friend how do drive stick yesterday.We went to pick up her Kiarrhea, as she calls it from some guy in Pasadena and it's been sitting there burning a hole in her garage while she drives her old car which clicks when she turns, has no seat belts, and starts when it's in the mood. Also, if the driver wants to get out, she has to roll down the window and open the door from the outside. My friend started to do this out of force of habit in her new car, and the poignancy of how she'd improved her quality of life made her eyes glisten. She's very sweet like that, but she fluctuates. She called me at 10:30 and demanded that I come over. I told her I'd be over in 25 minutes and she absolutely had a fit. That actually meant that I'd leave my house in ten minutes, and I can't really see how anyone could promise anything better.

When I finally got there and the lesson began she didn't even stall THE FIRST TIME she put the car into gear. For all of you automatic drivers, this is basically unheard of. I started to get my hackles up because I had a much harder time, and it just wasn't fair. But, then I remembered it was her lesson and this was the best possible result. I was trying to comfort myself that she was probably a ringer anyway. No one is that good that fast. So I sat there in awe of her talent until she tried to cross Wilshire and screamed, "Fuck you! Go around me!" I suggested that she roll her windows up because although Brentwood's not a very violent neighborhood, and I appreciate her frustration, not everyone else does. Finally, she just started yelling, "I hate you, you douche bags! Fuck you all!!!!!" And even though the windows were closed, an old woman on the corner who wasn't even driving flipped her off. I tend to use the nomenclature, "old ladies," but if you proffer the bird, you forfeit your title.

A friend from my past contacted me and we ended up trading scripts, but a script from a friend has no chance of getting made and I read the first ten pages with tepid enthusiasm about five times before he said,"Ok. Let's get together this week." I agreed, pretending to have read it, dusted off his baby and got cracking. IT WAS TERRIFIC! I think I'm legally not allowed to give away the premise, but it's way better than what my agents have been submitting to me. So, we ate at La Cabana and watched Shrek 3 and now all I have to do is sign a letter of intent and it's a done deal. I know there will be many more hurdles in the road, but it's so good I feel it could have been like the copy of American Beauty that I found when I was moving out of my Dad's house which I never read and have kicked myself about ever since.

Went to SMC to take English aptitude tests and was feeling very uppity about the whole process until I read a question about the linguistics of city names in New Jersey and had absolutely no idea what the answer was- I thought this was comprehension, not geography, you turkeys! Lowered my nose and my tail and completed the exam. A writing class, complete with deadlines and new people will keep me happy and busy until I'm whisked away to some exotic clime for work. Hope, hope.

I gave another friend a car a year ago, and she's since gotten about seventy two tickets on it, all in my name, and disappeared into the ether. We were supposed to get together this morning but of course something incredibly pressing came up and she simply HAD TO reschedule. Was fuming until another friend called me up asking me to join his kickball team- Jubilance!-and telling me about the dirty, drunk, scary clown he sent to his friend's office to sing an "I'm sorry," ditty for her birthday. Wish I had thought of that when I got the three minute dumping phone speech. I would have just sent him to my boyfriend's serenading,"It's over," and said that the clown had already been on his way when he called. Harumph.

36 comments:

ashley said...

I know a lot of people have guessed taryn manning but I read an article recently where she talked about owning her own home and having a boyfriend, so I don't think it can be her

Anonymous said...

amber tamblyn wasn't in american beauty but she's is the right age to have auditioned for it. if she had read the script. and she was born in santa monica so her family is local so she could spend time with her dad on a regular basis.

Anonymous said...

leelee sobieski was born and raised in new york, imdb says her father is a new york painter. in an earlier post zx talks about going shopping with her dad, my impression is that her dad lives locally here in socal.

mngddess said...

ZX, hilarious post - they're one of my most fun pastimes of the day..

the other being, of course, Ent....

Cyn

Anonymous said...

Zooey Deschanel

Anonymous said...

That and Amber Tamblyn would totally get recognized/harassed at SMC (Santa Monica College for you out of staters). Who really doesnt work that much? What about that broad who did My Girl? She has just recently found her way out of obscurity, I hear.

Melissa

Anonymous said...

DS would SOOOO fit the role of Angela Hayes(Mena Suvari)especially after Lolita!!
ManD

Anonymous said...

the girl who did my girl is trying to do theater in new york i believe.

Anonymous said...

yeah DS went to malibu so her family is local so shopping with dad is a no big deal thing, also she old enough to have been around the industry for a while and young enough to want to go to coechella.

hey were is everybody on this blog, friday is usually jumping.

Anonymous said...

She saw a copy of the "American Beauty" script at her father's house when she was moving out...

Dad's in the biz...

Just another brick in the wall...

Anonymous said...

Hey ZX as far as your friends car clicking when she turns, mine does that. It's run the gamut in mechanincs telling me "If you don't get that fixed you will malfunction on the interstate, the car will take on a mind of it's own and YOU WILL DIE" and more honest mechanics telling me 'yeah it makes an annoyingly loud noise everyone within the vicinty can hear, but it's not a huge deal'

Meh I guess I'm the only person on the planet who didn't like American Beauty..it was just too creepy. At the same time as an actress, I don't blame you for kicking yourself since it did so well.
But hey, everything happens for a reason, no?

SA

Anonymous said...

I took it as She found the copy of American Beauty when SHE moved out of her Dads house--as in with her things--not Dads.
ManD

libby said...

Anna Chlumsky ('My Girl') is from Chicago...ZX--you certainly have some interesting friends!

Anonymous said...

Great post!!!

Jem said...

Yeah, good post ZX! You are a good writer

Anonymous said...

i used to pass the days with an english class at smc! they have fun psych classes, too, if you're looking for brain stimulation. i never learned stick, the only person who ever offered to teach me was a boyfriend-- but i forsaw him screaming at me if i stalled his dumb porsche out on the 405, so i passed on that. maybe i woulda been ringer-esque, also.
lexi

Hez said...

How I love the cursing. Thanks, ZX. You had me at "douchebags!!" ;)

Anonymous said...

I like to think that I have a decent sense of humor and am not a prude (I've been known to swear and act immature at times!); however, I don't understand the theme that runs through ZX's posts where it is assumed that it is funny,"free-spirited," and quirky to be a rude and immature brat. If my "best friend" called me up and demanded that I come over and threw a fit if it wasn't instantly, I would really reconsider how much I valued her friendship. Then I guess we readers are supposed to shake our heads and laugh that this quirky friend sat and screamed profanities when she was having trouble learning to drive stick, so much so that an old woman (in Brentwood) gave them the finger? It's pretty juvenile, even for women in their early twenties. Then we hear about another irresponsible, beyond rude "friend" standing her up and then a male friend who thinks it's funny to send a "dirty," drunk, serenading clown to another friend's office? I just can't get into the crude and rather mean humor of this character's life. It's like the author is trying to make it quirky and he/she thinks the way to do that is to fall back on to the kind of character who is loud and obnoxious and swears and does whatever they want (be it steal food off plates, cut in line or think of juvenile ways of nasty revenge). I never liked people like that and can only stand them in small doses, but ZX seems to identify with them and surround herself with that one-dimensional kind of character. At least that is what I would think if I was reading this as a book or watching this in a movie. It's not really believable, even if it seems "clever." Unsolicited and perhaps unwelcome advice, but maybe you could use some other viewpoints than the approving ones you keep getting from many of the same posters. I'm not signing my name, so forget it - I am a little afraid of the vicious responses that posts like mine can receive!!

Anonymous said...

why are you guys still even debating. It's Dominique Swain.
Her description is a bit overinflated though... her career is on the way out. Just my opinion. She pretty much exclusively does crap projects and parties way too much.

Anonymous said...

11:37..beat it.no one cares loser.

Anonymous said...

Harumph! You can't see me but I am giving you the finger and calling you a "douchebag!"

- Anonymous 11:37 PM

Anonymous said...

I mean 11:37 AM - I wrote it around 2:37 PM, my time. Granted, it was long-winded, but I didn't deserve to be called a "loser." Man.

Anonymous said...

I agree with Anon 11:37!

Anonymous said...

anon 11:37 - get your head out of your a**.

Anonymous said...

I agree with anonymous 11.37 too. I was inclined to think that these ZX blogs were fiction but they are so vacuous and dull they *have* to be real.

Anonymous said...

ent has pushed back the reveal on who zx is until june, if he pushes it back again then we will know for certain that this blog is a fraud.

Anonymous said...

Agree with 11:37.

Anonymous said...

I agree with 11:37am too. It's too bad that people can write their own names for kissing a psuedo-celebrity's butt and not feel bad about it, but when someone wants to write something negative they have to become anon because of the bashing on the comments.
I think I would be more ashamed of the butt kissing.

kchal said...

ZX - Love the post -

LOL - to each their own right? I mean, you are entitled to not like ZX, her writing, or to not like ENT - and others are entitled to enjoy the ZX posts and ENT - not sure how it is that saying you like something is 'butt kissing' (umm, I READ this blog because I like it - makes sense no, as opposed to you who reads the blog because you don't like it??) and the 5 paragraph long BORING post by 11:37 is something to be praised - my feeling is if you don't like it then stop reading it - like I didn't read your long post - my only complaint is that if i didn't like ZX/ENT then i wouldn't come to this blog, but you do come and feel like writing a story in the comments about how much it sucks - go start your own blog or read something you like - why are you wasting your time and mine??? As for the Anon vs the sign-ins - oh PLEASE - WTF difference does it make except letting people know who is writing - signing in doesn't give anyone access to your home phone so stop being such a baby and pick a freaking name....

mary mac said...

DS does not use drugs or drink and neither does ZX.

11:37-are you that old woman from Brentwood???

tigereye said...

I LOVE the road rage from your friend. I totally say pretty much the same things (windows rolled up) when I get pissy while driving. Although, having driven a stick for 12 years, I've not had to scream like that while grinding gears in the turn lane!..just phrasing an example, no people, i did not read that into her blog.

hedda said...

Bravo 11:37 you put into words what I'm sure many readers (who don't post) feel. Unbelievable, one-dimensional, fabricated and not clever. I think the writer feels that this is what will appeal to the increasingly immature, fantasy believing audience that dominates the posts here.

Anonymous said...

I agree 6:14

bionic bunny! said...

its very easy to bash somebody when you can't even give us a name to respond to.
its very easy, numbnuts. click on "other" and type in a name. you don't even need a password. you're so afraid of us being "vicious" to you that you hide behind anonymity to be vicious to a girl who's simply telling us about her day. get a life. go away.
ZX, don't let one f***head ruin it for the rest of us!
and i don't blame you if you don't reveal.

and yeah, i'm the bunny! complaints, call 1-800 EEAT-MEE!

Breaker said...

Anon 11:37

Are you kidding me? So what if you dont have friends like hers. That doesnt make ZX have any less moral fiber than you do.

If anything, im curious about YOUR manners and behavior. Did your mother teach you if you dont have anything nice to say, then dont say it at all? Or do you think because you are the reader you have the upper hand and can do and judge as you please (as long as you are anonymous of course).

To all of you: If you dont like her sense of humor, her friends or her life, dont read.

Hannahbelle said...

Bwaaahahahaaa! My friend and I are always in the car swearing at the whole world, so I really and truly get it... and it has happened a few times with the window down. Oops. :)

As for the clunking sound while turning, it's normally the ball joint, and that ain't good.

As for all the non-believers/haters - guys, get a life. If you're not interested, just go away, it's that' simple. Obviously you ARE interested, or you wouldn't be commenting incessantly.