Brood-Zilla Clump-Butt is so prime-time prancing on thin ice, and no, this is not a blind item about anybody on Dancing with the Stars—think I’ve already done enough plus-size derriere digging on that boob-tube offering. Agreed? Sure ya do, which is why we're zeroing in on one of the country’s other hottest offerings…
How to Happy Up Your Household! You all do watch every week, don’t you? Well, I don’t, but that’s certainly not enough to keep me from reporting the following:
Brood-Zilla, host of said offering (which appears on cable or network, hmmm, I wonder which?), is scoring myriad fan-backed points for her winning ways on camera making families bond ‘n’ beautify within themselves. It’s all so touching I could puke, and quite frankly, the only thing saving me from such is the delish scoop that Brood-Zilla is turning into a veritable broom-riding be-yotch who’s getting so friggin’ corpulent not even a luxury broom built for Star Jones-Reynolds, circa the pre-wedding years, could support her.
“She’s gone way up in her size,” snipped a Household source, who’s fed up with Brood-Zilla’s overly demanding ways on set. And he’s not the only one. Other Household-ers and insiders are starting to sass supreme with scuttlebutt about the big ‘tude terrible:
“The only thing bigger than her ass is her head,” bitched back another Household vet, “which is getting horribly out of control—she’s simply a nightmare and the biggest bitch I’ve ever worked with, and that’s saying something.”
Unfortunately for these TV toilers (at various levels on the fairly popular show), Ms. Clump-Butt doesn’t look to be getting any nice-it-up notes from the show’s top brass, as ratings are good. But, uh, if I were Ms. C.B., I wouldn’t exactly inhale the craft services table when I waddled near it.
‘Cause the (edible) knives are out.