Friday, May 18, 2007

Ted C Blind Item

This one's too stupid for words—which means, of course, darlings, we have to blab 'bout it. So, put on your push-up bras, babes, and snap to!

Board-Like Boring isn't really such a bad babe. She's sweet enough. Barely good-looking enough. She reads her lines with, oh, a fair amount of aplomb, I s'pose. But girlfriends, I daresay B.L.B.'s bosses at the big network gig where she does the 9-to-5 thang do not agree that Ms. B. has what it takes.

That's why her job was recently on the line—B.-doll came thisclose to being canned, and she heard about it. And the small-screen heavens above being what they are, Board-Like realized there was only so much she could do to improve her ho-hum prime-time performance—i.e., very little.

Therefore, Ms. Boring did what many not exactly talented femmes do when they ultimately realize no amount of acting classes and TelePrompTer training will help: She got a boob job. And guess what?

It worked! The sex-on-their-noggins boss folk at the network changed their minds about Ms. B. (one of them just told me so directly), deciding that all the attention on B.L.B.'s impressive new cleavage would now be diverting viewers from Boring's otherwise nondescript delivery.

Ah, Hollywood, predictable to the end.

28 comments:

Anonymous said...

Ann Curry

Anonymous said...

hey the comment button finnally showed up. my first thought was jennifer love hewitt but her boobs have been amazing since party of five and they haven't gotten any bigger.
on the subject of jennifer, her boobs are an excellent tool for finding closet gays. show a suspect gay a photo of love in a drab outfit that still shows off her tits. if he says anything but nice rack ect. then you know you got a gay.

Anonymous said...

JLove's had fake knockers for a LONG time.

fo real said...

And It Ain't: Katie Couris; Elizabeth Hasselbeck; Diane Sawyer

Anonymous said...

So it has to be a daytime show host, right?

Anonymous said...

Juliana DiPandi (sp?)

Anonymous said...

he mentions her "ho-hum prime-time performance" which leads me to believe that it's something in the evening.

Anonymous said...

even if JLoves tits are fake, have they gotten any bigger sinse she's bee on ghost wisperer. what about allyson hannigan from how i met your mother or linda cardelini from er.

Anonymous said...

Andrea Thompson, CNN's Headline News?
Ex-actress.

Anonymous said...

Debbie Matin-whasti-puss ... on E!?

kim said...

does star jones have a night show on court tv her boobs are fake

Anonymous said...

Samantha Harris of Dancing with the Stars

Anonymous said...

Samantha Harris is newly pregnant.

Anonymous said...

Julie Chen BB.

Anonymous said...

Julie Chen BB.

Anonymous said...

Guys, read it carefully. It's a prime time show (night) and a network show (abc, nbc, cbs..ect) It's not on a cable network (cnn, court t.v., E!)

Anonymous said...

would Julie Chen really need to worry about her job? She's married to the boss!

Anonymous said...

I wonder why EL doesn't put in the "don'ts". Does he want people to guess LiLo for everything?

Anonymous said...

Lara Spencer from The Insider.

Anonymous said...

it has to be jan from the office. last night's episode showed her new boobs.

Anonymous said...

What about Jorja Fox? There is alot of speculation about if she will return to CSI or not.

Jem said...

Heh. Rosie. Kidding

Anonymous said...

You know what, and I'm sure this is way off base, but it makes me think of Jessica Simpson. I don't know of any T.V stuff she's doing though, but here's why;

1. The rhyming name thing; Board-Like-Boring = Jess-ica-simp-son

2. The 9-5 comment would fit with her shiteous Dolly Parton performance.

3. The can't read lines for shit bit.

4. Oh yeah, big tits. How many times has she got the girls out lately, leading people to comment about boob jobs?

I dunno, the clues seem to fit her quite well, it's just the T.V thing I'm stuck on.

Honey015.

Anonymous said...

Meredith Veiera? She's very boring.

Anonymous said...

I'm jumping on the Jorja Fox train with 5:51 Anon

Anonymous said...

Honey 015- read. Please read the item. I think it could be a BI about a man and you'd still guess Jessica Simpson. She, Britney, and Lohan are not the answers to everything. Broaden your horizons. Please.

Anonymous said...

heidi montag

Anonymous said...

the chick from veronica mars.