Thursday, June 07, 2007

Today's Blind Items

Aaaah. Summer time. Vacations, reunions, and visits to your real wife and child. Yes, that's right. So what happens when you are a struggling actor and move out to LA and leave the wife and child behind? No one really notices, because no one knows anything about you. Maybe after a few years you don't go back to your hometown all that much because you are moving up the career ladder. A few more years go by and now you are on the cusp of A list. You have it all. Films, some television, and magazine covers. Part of that list status is because you are single and hot. Find a woman in LA who completes the publicist's dream and even go through a wedding ceremony that doesn't mean anything because you never took out a license. Why? Because you are still married to the girl back home who you have been supporting along with your child and they have kept really quiet. Not completely quiet. Just really quiet. Your new B list television actress wife is in on the secret but she isn't as good as you in keeping secrets. Word starts to spread just a little. Now you are worried. What do you do? You head back to the hometown this summer to try and work out a deal with the wife and kid. We'll see.

203 comments:

1 – 200 of 203   Newer›   Newest»
Anonymous said...

wow soo...many ideas...god im first and havent a clue..sos.

jackie

Anonymous said...

Wow, this is a good one! I'm putting my think cap on for this!

Anonymous said...

Ent, this is what I'm talking about. This is juicy. Dunno who it is, but off to research.

Tracee

Anonymous said...

wow...insane, haven't a clue who could pull this one off

Lola said...

This is so juicy. Ent I adore the way you write.

Pinky said...

I agree with the juice, as well as having no clue.

Stacy said...

SCANDALOUS!!!! I love it! Definitely thinking hard on this one.

mary mac said...

She's not completely quiet, just really quiet...that's GOT to be a clue!

Perhaps someone who is into Scientology???

Young, hot, recently "married" and on the cusp of A-list...hmmmmmm

yup...no clue!

Anonymous said...

At least give us a time frame ENT! Don't be so cruel, this is some juicy stuff!!!

-Lucky

mary mac said...

John Krasinski would have been a great guess because he's in License to Wed...but no other hot young cusp actors in that...

But I don't think he's married...

(He is one of People's 50 most beautiful people, though...and here I thought I was the only one who thought he was cute!)

Anonymous said...

Jay Mohr and Nikki Cox

Anonymous said...

I think we're looking past the obvious. Lindsey Lohan might not really be in rehab........ I'm just saying. It's a possibility!!

Parisss

Anonymous said...

Tom Cruise

Pinky said...

I really liked that guess until I read this from SplendidGlow.com:

The comedian Jay Mohr, 36, and the Las Vegas Star Nikki Cox, 28, have tied the knot. Cox is also known for her performance as the sexy daughter in Unhappily ever after from 1995-1999. It`s the first marriage for Cox. Mohr was married to the model and actress Nicole Chamberlain from 1998 to 2004. They have one child together.

Anonymous said...

Ok, let's brainstorm here...
The facts:
-Male, cusp of A list actor so that to me says movies
-He's probably over 25, since he's married and has a kid and it sounds like it took a few years to make it big
-"Married" B-list TV actress

Sounds to me like he may have "married" this actress after he became popular since ENT mentions he was hot and single on magazines, etc.
So a hot recently married (past few years?)actor 25-45 married to a TV actress...

Pinky said...

I also forgot about the 'hot' factor.

mookie said...

juicy! i love it.

have no freakin clue who it could be and it's driving me nuts, not anon 2:40 type of nuts, but nuts nonetheless.

...makes me wonder why the actress went for it tho...could she be closet les?

Anonymous said...

If it wasn't recently- David Arquette? Yeah- like he'd be a-list. I must be smoking Lindsey's crack!!!

Jay Mohr's ex-wife was no secret, and I don't think he's cusp a-list.

We need to think of movie stars (it states movies, mag. covers, and some tv) who have recently wed tv actresses. The only reason I'd think recent is because it seems he's taking care of the real wife/kid this summer.

Pinky said...

I went on a hunt for the magazine covers, and typed in 100 Sexiest Men and found a site that lists...ready???....Clay Aiken as # 1. And no, it wasn't a gay website...

Anonymous said...

Bradley Cooper and Jennifer Esposito?

Anonymous said...

So we know it's an American actor. We know that he's attractive and was a hot single at one time. I dunno why, but it makes me think of Ben Affleck, Matt Damon or somebody along these lines. Still thinking...

Tracee

Anonymous said...

what's the crazy anon2:40 comment? i must have missed this comment before...enlighten?

Anonymous said...

I don't get it, if he was going to get married, why not move the wife and kid out here and 'marry' her? Also, unless she has no family or friends at ALL, how can her family/friends not spread the word?Especially since it seems he has cast them off. I mean it just seems a little weird. Friend: "hey where did your husband go?" Wife "um, not sure...". Friend:"hey there he is in all these movies and shows".

Hez said...

I am licking my chops ovah heah. That was some good goss! I'm clueless, but thoroughly entertained!

Anonymous said...

eric dane and his new wife, rebecca gayheart?

they married after only a few weeks of dating (i think).

G

Anonymous said...

I was thinking Ben and Jen too. I just looked at all the movie/TV titles and I could not match anything up with "just really quiet"--which is totally a clue.

There must be a movie or show title that has to do with "quiet" or something.

Also, he is from Cambridge, MA which is not really a "small town."

Hmmmmmm....

~Lohan

mookie said...

anon 1:03...it's nothing honey. honest. just making a crack at a lonney toon from yesterday. not worth talking about at all.

that said, on w/ the guesses. i like the ben/jen guess...but wouldn't something have come up since he's been around h'wood for a while now...

brendalove@gmail.com said...

The Rock maybe? Seems like something was freaky with his marriage, he acted very single for many years. And then they just announced they were divorcing?

Anonymous said...

The magazine covers thing really has me thinking. Who has been on some magazine covers lately that is cusp "A-list"?

-Lucky

Anonymous said...

ben affleck isn't cusp a-list he is a-list. Eric Dane is interesting

Anonymous said...

Ashton Kutcher??

Anonymous said...

Heath Ledger??

Anonymous said...

jay mohr on the cusp of A list.... The rock on the cusp of A list...

come on people!

Lauren said...

heath ledger!!! great guess

michelle- b list tv actress? hmmm debatable though

no ashton- demi isnt a tv actress

Anonymous said...

1:28

I know :( I went down the whole right column and guessed any good looking man that was recently married

-K

Anonymous said...

and he is from a small town in austraila

-K

Anonymous said...

Freddy Prinze Junior?
ooooh I give up!

- K

Pinky said...

I was liking the Eric Dane guess until I IMDB'd him and he hasn't done any movies. Rats!

Anonymous said...

Luke Wilson?

Anonymous said...

Doesn't anyone else get bored with these vague blind item's and the fact that they never get revealed?

Anonymous said...

Fredie comes from a wealthy family (his dad was an actor) and I don't think that Heath and Michelle ever had a wedding.
~Lohan

Pinky said...

How about Bradley Cooper? It doesn't say they're still married...

Anonymous said...

1:48 Of course. The only reveals are iffy at best & one poster the other day pointed out how they all have that not worth suing for flavor, obvious mistakes or rehash of old published news from elsewhere. Cest la vie. After all it is fiction, the only gossip site to have this at the bottom of every page:
In addition to accurately reported information, certain situations, characters and events portrayed in the Blog are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously.

Anonymous said...

Eric Dane was in XMen 3. I just don't think that he would be considered a-list. He's hot and all, but he doesn't DRAW people to a project (even his gay marriage tv thing w/ John Stamos flopped).

I also don't think there's a child w/ the hollywood faux-wife otherwise there would be a comment about the 2nd family. (so no to affleck, damon).

Pinky said...

Anon 1:52pm - we know what's at the bottom of the page. How about throwing out a guess?

Hez said...

1:48, want some cheese with your whine?

Reveals are a PRIVILEGE, not a right. This site is one of the only ones that ever DOES reveals, but you act like they should happen every day! It's a gossip site, not a BIs Revealed site. Stop pouting.

Not to mention there's clues almost every day to all kinds of BIs here for anyone willing to actually think about it, rather than waiting for Ent to spoon-feed the answers to them. Why not get in the game and do some Googling, lazybones?

Pinky said...

What??? I get nothing on my brilliant Bradley Cooper guess? Maybe that's why he and Jennifer filed for divorce? Come on, where's the love??

Anonymous said...

my two guesses are sean patrick thomas or eric balfour - I checked through the people recent wedding list and those actors were engaged in the last two years although I don't know for sure if e.b. has been actually married - both have done tv and some decent movies...LOL...all I can come up with

theflock07 said...

I was thinking Ben Affleck but the BI doesn't mention anything about also having a kid with his Hollywood "wife." Plus, I consider him A-list, not cusp A-list.

I got nothin'

Anonymous said...

Where is Curious Cailyn/Youda Bess when we really need her? Did Homeland Security already snatch her up and put her to work? Come back, we really need your awesome digging skills on this one!

Grace Farrell said...

I don't even know who Eric Dane is, but that he's from Oz helps his case here; Eric Balfour grew up just up the coast from L.A. in Big Sur (or down the coast? whatever), so he's basically living in his home town.

If BI guy has been able to hide his old lady and kid this long, they must be waaaayyy outtatown.

Anonymous said...

Okay, well, this one might be one of Ent's cases, so he probably made a small part of it up or since there is no time frame, this might have been a while since he has known about it. Jay Mohr, not cusp a-list. I have no idea who this is!
-Lucky

Anonymous said...

Ent, WHEN are you going to release answers? Any answers for months of blind item guessing. It used to be so much more fun when at the end of the month you will give the answers. Please tell us in your blog if you changed your policy on releasing answers or when do you plan to release ansers.

Anonymous said...

I get the feeling that this might not be current, because it says that after a few years of not visiting his hometown and struggling in his career. We need to think about who is/was just about an A list guy in movies, tv and the tabs who is married to a B list TV actress.

Anonymous said...

What about someone from the Brat Pack days...They were all struggling actors when they began their careers...

Anonymous said...

Pinky, I give your props for guessing. But Jennifer isn't Blist television...is she? And Bradley is hot and is climbing in the movies, but I don't think he's on the cusp of Alist or was even close.
BIg props though!

Tracee

Anonymous said...

What about the Borat guy(forgot his real name)? I would consider him cusp A-list. I don't know if Isla has done any tv though?
-Lucky

Anonymous said...

Its def. Bob Barker!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

But, Borat, Sasha B Cohen, has not been on magazine covers, TV and he was in one movie. Not him. She is a movie actress, not TV

Anonymous said...

I work for Leverage Entertainment & as a favor to my little sister, who's a fan here, I am confirming that there is no way Dominique Swain would be writing for this gossip blog. As a client it would be a disasterous move and as an actor, foolish & stupid to say the least. I actually can't believe people would think that were true.

Anonymous said...

For some reason, Matt Damon came to mind.

Twisted Sister said...

Matt's wife isn't a B list television actress, is she? I don't think so.

Anonymous said...

I looked at IMDB and he has done several movies: Talladega Nights, Madagascar, and others, tv and he was on the cover of Rolling Stones and Time. Isla has also done some TV.
-Lucky

Twisted Sister said...

The blind leads me to believe the guy married someone, though it wasn't even legal. Wouldn't that leave Sacha Baron Cohen out?

Anonymous said...

anon 2:46, if you're still reading this:

"disastrous?" "foolish and stupid?"

we're talking about hollywood, not national security. it's not that big a deal.

save your adjectives for the celebutard party girls who are drunk driving and/or on their way to rehab.

Anonymous said...

Anon 3:00

You are hilarious! Like celebrities never do anything that could hurt their career right? Ha Ha! LOL! What do we care, we love reading this blog anyway! And the more celebrities mess up, the more we laugh at them!

-Lucky

fo real said...

sweet! that might just be the best blind since MV!!!...and I have no clue.

Anonymous said...

lucky-

i just meant that ZX/DS didn't do anything career shattering.

i don't think the "disastrous" behavior of the tabloid crowd is very funny.

xo-3pm

Anonymous said...

matt damons wife used to be a waitress

Pinky said...

Not only that but a quick Google search of Leverage Entertainment comes up with nada, zip, zero, zilch on the company front.

Bradley Cooper was on Alias, had his own show Kitchen Confidential, was in Wedding Crashers He also have 4 films either completed or in post production. A-List cusp

Jennifer Esposito's one big movie was Crash the rest was tv, actually starring in the series Related as well as 2 years on Spin City and numerous tv guest spots. B-List TV.

hello kitty said...

This really isn't as uncommon as one would think -- Jackie Chan has a family "hidden" back home that he rarely talks about.

Twisted Sister said...

I think if the family has made some noise, but not a lot of noise, it must be someone who came from another country. Once one of our rags picks something up, they all run the same stuff. We would have heard about this by now.

Anonymous said...

Eric Dane/ Rebecca Gayheart

Anonymous said...

Rebecca Gayheart? Is she a B list TV actress? She is only now famous because of her husband. Has she done TV recently? After 90210? I'm out of the loop...

Hez said...

Well 2:46, if you're such an insider, you might recognize me from the recent cover of Kiss My Ass magazine. It's a trade publication, but I can get you a free subscription. ;)

If you've never met an actress that dabbles with the disastrous, you probably don't really work with any actresses. Your vaccuum-sealed "confirmation" doesn't carry too much weight, especially coming out of the blue, and with all the mounting evidence to the contrary.

And really, you're three days late and a lot of corroborating facts short, unlike the substantial and compelling webtrail that correctly led us to DS as ZX.

Nice try, though!

Anonymous said...

why is the title todays blind itemS? plural. yeah more than one person to guess, just found it interesting

ms_wonderland said...

Not Sasha Baron Cohen. He's been famous in the UK for a decade, and is a London boy - hardly small town. Also Sasha has not been in LA for 'a few years' and a few years more - about 2/3 years. Isla Fisher made her name on a TV soap in Australia and now does films, so not a B list TV actress. They met in the UK before the move to LA.

kellysirkus said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Just had to add my 2 cents on the Sasha Baron Cohen guess - First I'm pretty sure he's British and Second - he was Ali G before he was Borat and that was definitely TV.

Anonymous said...

I agree with twisted sister that this person might be from another country. That would explain why we did not hear about it yet and that they may have looser marital/family views than the states.
B Girl

Anonymous said...

To Anon 2:36...don't be silly

It's Abe Vigoda!

meme said...

Colin Farrell?

lec said...

What a juicy BV!

I have to do some research on here.

Anonymous said...

I was gonna say Brad Pitt.

But he's been married before.

Anonymous said...

What about a canadian boy???
Who's gotten married lately?

Anonymous said...

colin farrel wasmarried for 5 mins to Amelia something..not news.

inuyasha said...

Hello guys! This is my guess : it's kevin bacon. He's not an A-list but he can have lead roles. And do you remember a movie where he moved with discretion = hollow man! lol In his filmography such titles : she's having a baby "cough", picture perfect ("Find a woman in LA who completes the publicist's dream) "re cough", Telling Lies in America ("go through a wedding ceremony that doesn't mean anything because you never took out a license") "re re cough". And about his wife Kyra Sedgwick, the tv show the closure was a recent breaktrough for her. She's listed in another tv show queens supreme but as I don't live in america I don't know if it has been cancelled and/or if she has quit. Oh one of her film is something to talk about "re re re re cough".

Anonymous said...

how about Steve Carell and his wifey Nancy Walls?

MPICK

Anonymous said...

Steve Carell and his wife have
been together for a long time.
As in,before he was remotely
famous. Plus,with 2 kids with
Nancy...I don't think it's him.

Plus..when did he ever play the
sexy bachelor cad about town card?

Anonymous said...

cmon now 4:39, you saw the wax scene in Virgin...

Rar


MPICK

Anonymous said...

Matt Damon is solid A list and his wife is not an actress!

Sacha is a Londoner who went to Cambridge.

These facts are easy to find.

Most of the other guesses are D listers.

Anonymous said...

Hez, I love all your comments! You rock!!


Lainey

kellysirkus said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Kevin Bacon isn't new to the scene, hell he has a game named after him. He and Kyra have been married for years.
Damon and Affleck..been around too long.

That's all I have

Anonymous said...

Ana 1:02 PM

Bradley Cooper and Jennifer Esposito?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I really like this guess... tho I doubt it is the couple.

I like the guess, mostly cause their marriage ended so abruptly and nothing else has been said about it. Like there was some big ass secret that came out after she married him...and she dumped him quickly.

Otherwise... I can not think of any B list actress getting "married" recently to a top notch guy.

But that Heath Ledger/Michelle Williams guess could be it. It would explain alot about her weird clingy behavior with him. He could have easily kept a wife and child hid since he did not grow up in the US.

Anonymous said...

Heath Ledger?? Did they marry? -- I don't remember seeing Bradley Cooper on any mag covers -- OR being considered "single & hot".

kellysirkus said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Ben and Jen may be a good guess on the surface, but SO not them. They were officially married, hence "filing" for divorce...if they were married without a certificate there would be no real documents. And there are.

S

Anonymous said...

Sorry, meant Bradley Cooper up there, not ben

Anonymous said...

Take it to a political forum Kellygrrl

nice name btw. Love the way you subtley put the 2 rr's in your sig, because that's not transparant.

Anonymous said...

Dear Judge Sauer:

I am strongly against the release of Paris Hilton from jail. If it had been anyone else - the normal people - we would have spent the "whole" time in jail. Since she is rich, she gets treated like a queen. Money really does buy special attention.

I would strongly suggest that an investigation be done to see "who" in the L.A. County Sheriff's office was paid off. Paris Hilton's release sent the wrong message to drunk and drugged drivers.

She contributes nothing to society but sleaze, then is treated as if she is special. It now seems as if it does not matter to law enforcement that she could very well have killed someone by her actions. The law should apply to everyone in the same manner. Justice must be fair and "just".

Please make sure that drugged and drunk drivers get the right message. Please make sure that the Sheriff's Department does not flout the orders of a judge. Please make Paris Hilton serve her entire sentence in jail. Thank you.

Anonymous said...

Hez, you are possibly the most annoying and abrasive person on earth

mngddess said...

WHAAAAATTT???

Cyn

Anonymous said...

To anon 2:46 -

Leverage Entertainment? Oooh, big man!

Do you know how many celebs are on line? And who don't give a shit what their management team tells them?

Do some looking around. You will be shocked...SHOCKED...scandalized!

Anonymous said...

STOP SAYING BRADLEY COOPER!! HE IS NOT CUSP A-LIST!!

Anonymous said...

AND JENNIFER ESPOSITO IS A MOVIE ACTRESS.

Anonymous said...

AND JENNIFER ESPOSITO IS A MOVIE ACTRESS.

Anonymous said...

Jay Mohr is NOT cusp A-list.

Anonymous said...

Jay Mohr is NOT cusp A-list.

Anonymous said...

Ummmm, I read on another site the reason Bradley Cooper and Jennifer Esposito split was because he's actually gay.
If true, oopsy. (And not a candidate for this BI.)

Chloe said...

Ben Affleck and Matt Damon are A-list. NOT cusp.

Matt's wife is NOT an actress.

Kevin Bacon is considered A-list NOT cusp.

Bradley Cooper is NOT A-list.

Jennifer Esposito is a movie actress.

ERIC DANE IS NOT CUSP A-LIST.

Anonymous said...

Sacha Cohen's girlfriend Isla Fisher is a movie actress and they're not married.

Anonymous said...

is Dane Cook married?

INVISIBLE said...

I kinda liked the rebecca gayheart guess..

NARC said...

I THINK THIS COULD BE WILL SMITH.

MOVIES, TV'S, COVERS.

HOMETOWN IS PHILLY.

AND THE SONG "SUMMERTIME".

MOST OF JADA'S TV HAS BEEN PLAYING HERSELF - BUT SHE'S GOT TV CREDITS ON IMDB.

INVISIBLE said...

Umm ENT?
I know you are busy these days (Spurs playoffs and all)
But is there anyway you or your staff could look into Dale Earnhardt Jr as far as him being married/divorced... with 2 children.. the Wife/Ex would be named Jenny .. the children are Trey (for DE,III I think) about 3 or 4 .. and daughter Emma... aged 1 and 4 months.

I know this is a stretch .. but it seems like a hell of a lie to have all that info ...

Anonymous said...

Res Ipsa Loquitor: Paris Hilton and the Dirty Deal


"The scum always rises."

-Richard M. Nixon

Paris Hilton lay on her steel bed, quivering and shivering. She had the shakes, bad. Her herpes had erupted in a bad, pestilent rash all over her thighs. Her withdrawal symptoms were bad and getting worse. She recognized the feeling. Bad flu symptoms and the herpes eruption. She knew that soon the bile would begin to rise. She thought she saw flying wombats coming at her from the window on the door of her cell.

Nice thoughts, nice thoughts. She tried to concentrate. A big, fat turgid penis entering her valtrex vagina. Fat cocaine rails lining the top of the steel toilet in her cell. Paul Allen floating her a thousand dollar bill for a blowjob.

It wasnt't working. Her thighs itched uncontrollably. She'd scratched the herpes eruptions until they bled, and still the damn things itched. She's ducked off everyone from the arresting officer to the guards to the trusty, and nothing had worked. Daddy had to come through this time.

"Behind every great fortune lies crime."

-Voltaire

Rick Hilton paced his family room, impatiently. He knew there had to be a way to spring Paris. He just hadn't thought of it yet. Kathy had sucked him off three times that morning, and yet no inspiration. He was stupid, but he knew how money worked. There was always someone to bribe to get what you wanted. It was, he thought, the American way.

He grew angry when he thought of Howard Weitzman. Asshole was supposed to be the best connected lawyer in LA, he thought, and all I got for his 250K fee was a limo ride to court. Bastard didn't even know how to bribe someone in the DMV so that Paris could keep her license after her DUI. It's all his thought, Rick thought. Goddamn Jew lawyer. Maybe the new Jew lawyer will come through, mused Rick.

The phone rang. Rick answered it. Answered prayers. The deal would go down tonight. He had the cash for the Sheriff. Paris knew what she had to do.

"I only get my rocks off when I'm dreaming..."

Jagger/Richards

Lee Baca, LA County Sheriff, slapped some Old Spice on his testicles. He thought he was dreaming. Yesterday, he was a middle aged lump taking bribes to take care of traffic tickets in order to fund his divorce and gambling debts. Tonight, he was going to take in a hundred grand in cash. And Paris Hilton was going to suck his cock. He wanted his testicles to smell nice for her. He slapped some more Old Spice on his balls.

He put on his trousers and started out the door. Suddenly, he stopped. Cunt has herpes, he thought. Better bring a condom. Looking into his wallet, he realized that his wallet condom had been in there so long that it had left a ring on the outside of his wallet. Got to stop at a convenience store to get a rubber, he thought.

"To live like an outlaw, you have to be honest."

-Unknown outlaw biker

Rocky Delgadillo, LA City Attorney, put the phone down, and smacked his lips. Baca was going to spring Paris Hilton, he thought, and the dumbass wasn't going to share the love. He smiled. I'm gonna fuck him up bad, he thought. He picked up the telephone and called Judge Sauer.

"I shot the sheriff..."

Bob Marley

Superior Court Judge Michael T. Sauer slammed the phone down. Goddamn it, he screamed. He kicked the wall. He was sick of this shit. Everytime some celebrity punk got caught driving drunk, he tried to punish him as if he was Mr. John Q. Public. And every goddamn time he did, that fucking sheriff took a bribe and let the celebrity go. And the asshole never spread the wealth, either.

This time was going to be different, Sauer thought. Delgadillo was a shitty lawyer, but he was fucking ambitious. Since he was a shitty lawyer, Sauer was going to have to write the papers that Deladillo had to file with his court as soon as possible after Paris Hilton was sprung. But Delgadillo is a sneaky shit, thought Sauer. And all he has to do is file them. Sauer smiled. This time, I'm going to fuck Baca up.

kiki said...

9:12
that's a great screenplay

Hez said...

6:41, you've obviously never had the pleasure of one of my blow jobs. Your dad sure seemed to be enjoying himself.

Anonymous said...

Totally reminds me of Sweet Home Alabama. Oh, and I have no guesses on this one at all, but I am enjoying the comments thus far.

-spressogrl

mngddess said...

I think the biggest clue is "magazine covers". Not very many male actors grace magazine cover so it might be easier to go that route. Also, it says he was involved in a fake marriage, but all the guesses (like Will Smith and Kevin Bacon and such) have children. I'm thinking that since this is a fake marriage there are no children with the fake wifey. Hmmm?

P.S. Being from Philly I'm thinking that if Bradley Cooper and Will Smith had a family here a lot more people would know about it...

Cyn

gingersnap said...

Clues:
1. Actor from a small town
2. years in LA building a career
3. Films, TV & magazine covers
4. known as single and hot
5. met/dated an actress that made a publicist's dream couple
6. married the actress.

My best guess? Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston when they met and married. He was an emerging A-list actor (twice named People magazine's Sexiest Man); she was a known, but not yet hugely popular, TV actress.

When they separated, Brad's 'first girlfriend' Tonya Whestphalen gave an interview saying she understood how Jen felt. There was no admission of a child or marriage, but Tonya has 2 children and her 'husband' refuses to see Brad Pitt movies. ("Not completely quiet. Just really quiet." ??)

Could this be a reason why he and Angelina won't marry until "everyone else in the country who wants to be married is legally able"? It might also explain why Angelina adopts as a single parent. Even if they married publicly, they still wouldn't be able to adopt as a couple unless they had a valid marriage license.

Not exactly perfect, but the best fit I could find so far.

schneefloeckli said...

@ gingersnap: Great guess but Brad's definitely A-list and not on the cusp.

on the cusp of A-list: Maybe someone from 'Lost' or Grey's? Both shows have been on for 3 years and any of those actors would fall under Ent's A-list TV star by now, at least those who have been on since the beginning.

- McDreamy and McSteamy pop to my mind, although the B-list TV actress-wife rules out McDreamy I guess. Justin Chambers can be ruled out too IMO because he's got like 6 kids with his wife. TR Knight is gay, so not him either. Isaiah Washington? Does anyone know his wife? I guess not, so not him either.

- Matthew Fox has been an A-lister on TV before [that show with Neve Campbell he starred in], but Josh Holloway. Although, there's the B-list wife again.

- Someone from Desperate Housewives maybe? No one comes to my mind though, but maybe anyone can help me there?


Gah, these kinds of BIs usually keep my thinking for a long time...

Anonymous said...

Hez, why do you think that posting on this board makes you the least bit important?

Anonymous said...

Please ignore the troll(s). Arguing with them is ridiculous and ruins boards. Ignore them completely and they'll go away because we are no fun. I REALLY don't want to have to read through all the arguing to get to the good stuff. Can we make a pact to ignore???
Thanks!

Anonymous said...

DAMN IT, WHO IS IT???????
C'mon, Neicy Nash, is it reveal day?????

Anonymous said...

I grew up in the same town as Brad Pitt and he left to go to Hollywood shortly after high school. Also, Jen and him would come back for holidays. I seriously doubt its him.

ms_wonderland said...

I was thinking about the Losties as well. Josh Holloway and Matthew fox both have long-term relationships, so not them. Dom Monaghan had been single for years before Evie, and they are certainly a publicists dream - magazine covers all over. The only thing Dom left behind in Manchester was a rep as an out gay boi, so probably not him. Not cusp A-list either.

What about Naveen Andrews? He's had kids all over the place, and he's with that older actress. He's cusp Alist, with some big films on his resume, and the Losties get lots of magazine covers.

Anonymous said...

This is hard. I normally just lurk and read, but I had to jump in here.

How about Ryan Gosling? He's from Canada, did Micky Mouse and some Felicity shows then got into movies.

The breakup with Rachel McAdams always seemed weird to me.

Any thoughts?

debi

Anonymous said...

I love it when the natives get restless! Why do people get so angry on here? If you don't like it, don't read it and if you know so much, tell us what the answers are!

Pffft

Robin said...

We don't know for sure when all this went down. Just because someone is A list now, doesn't necessarily mean they were officially A list at the time this happened. Just because this was posted now, doesn't necessarily mean it happened recently. This could have happened up to 10 years ago...My vote is for Heath Ledger.

Anonymous said...

ATTENTION ANONS*************

And to everyone not "in" on the non-anonymous posters "2:40" is "crazy" joke... here it is. And I think it's a riot!!
*******************************
My new not so blind BI: What pathetic blog participants think that they are celebrites because they can get their ignorant thoughts online? And get all self-righteous when they are called out on their thoughts? Call them "cunts" and they get offended? Well I guess since now they are "famous" they know how all the celebrities they judge while sitting on their asses doing nothing behind goofy screen names feel. Who feel better than another because they really "get" ENT and think they somehow know him (if he is a he even), and think they are better than others simply because they took the time to make up goofy-ass names, and don't reply under Anon?

Did you guess Twisted, Hez, Mookie????

*******************************
The now INFAMOUS 2:40 post the above mentioned don't want you to research, and re-read.... but will make fun of, because their feelings got hurt---

Anonymous said...
I wasn't going to post a second time, but I am anonymous so I might as well use it to my advantage...

Politics IS personal, you stupid bitches. If you idiotic motherfuckers don't think so tell it to the gays that can't get married and the troops who want to be home and don't agree with the war.

Twisted? Mary? "Mookie" (or whatever bullshit name...)? I'm here to tell you that you suck. The fact that any of you can turn on a fucking keyboard is impressive, to say the least.

And for that matter, why the bloody hell are you reading a freaking gossip blog anyway? Isn't this the sort of 'amoral' shit that you people wave the Constitution at?

I can't even respectfully disagree with you as I think you're all fucking idiots. Did you wear a big toothy grin when you typed in those little scribbles and throw out an 'oh golly!' to boot? I don't really care as I can picture you anyway.

You are rude, little pigs. You're cunts (big ones, darlings!) and I'll be keeping my little eyes peeled for any more ridiculous bullcrap that comes spewing out of your mouths.

Ciao, motherfuckers!

2:40 PM

mary mac said...

Wow...what a stumper...and why is everyone getting so crazy? I refuse to listed to the rantings of anyone with the screen name "Anonymous 3:42" or whatever. If you want to bash a person directly, why not just sign a name? I'm not saying it's necessary to always sign a name, but at least when you are in attack mode, it shows just a little shutzpa, even though we are all just safely sitting at our computers. It's also very helpful for us to know who we are talking to.

I vow from this point forward to not respond to an Anonymous post who is criticizing (sp?) ever again. Of course, newbies don't usally realize how to post names, so I'm not discounting everyone, just the meanies and you know who you are and I will probably get several mean anonymous responses to this post.

Anyway...some great guesses here and I am completely stumped on this one.

I'm also thinking the summertime, reunions thing is important for some reason....This is a good one...let's keep guessing.

Twisted Sister said...

Aaaahhh....so drunken poster Anon 2:40 has come out of his stupor long enough to post his hate again. What a huge contribution. Too bad you're such a coward you have to post as Anon.

You're obviously one fucked up person. I'll pray for you.

bluegirl said...

Gingersnaps, I think Brad Pitt is a great guess. Ent said at the very start of this blog that he would sometimes change some details or whatever...
Also, this item may be dated back from a quite a few years ago when Brad WAS cusp A list but not fully A list. Everything fits except the dates (if you read the item as current.)
In the MV item the dates were changed and also in the 'Vixen' item Ent mistakenly thought the chick wasn't married.
anyway, I've spent way too long posting but this is driving me mad...
BTW this is one of the funniest threads I've read on here in a while. You guys so crazy!!

Anonymous said...

Posting as a anon is a coward? And making up a goofy name is SO brave? Unless on your birth cert. it says Twisted Sister? SO Who are you? What do you do? Are you a fat ass with so much time on her hands that she can register her fake name? Do you think Hez would be so brave to tell someone that she sucked someone's father's cock if she wasn't also hiding behind an anon name?

Also, I am not the 2:40 poster. I got sick of you people and you're holier-than-thou-art commentaries and snickering at those of us that are not so emotionally invested in blogging on this website that we feel a need to set up a name so we can pretend we too are celebrities. I laugh whenever I read you pick on those posting under "anon". You're fake names aren't any better than anon.

And save you're prayers for you and your friends online who hide behind your little names. You are nothing but glorified bullies who are pissed that I found your inside joke about 2:40 being crazy. So suck it up and deal with it.

Anonymous said...

I can't believe it would be Brad Pitt. If he had a kid out there people would know - especially now that he's '#1 DAD'. And if JA was part of the secret - she would have blabbed by now and I also think she would be A list television because of Friends.

Just my opinion.

debi

Anonymous said...

We all know how to post names. It's not brain surgery.

Anonymous said...

6:43 Is that you again Lindsey Lohan? It sounds like rehab is making you a little crabby!

Parisss

Twisted Sister said...

I couldn't care less if people post as Anon, but if you're going to rip into people, at least have the balls to consistently post under the same unique handle so everybody knows what they're dealing with.

This whole thing started when I, along with several others, gave Mary Mac a pat on the back for stating an opinion which is not only unpopular, but is one I don't share. Big fucking deal.

Man, some of you are on the rag 365 days a week.

Twisted Sister said...

Make that a year. I do know my numbers....lol.

Anonymous said...

I have a life. I don't need to have a "handle" so that people know who I am. I'm not worried about whether or not I offend people who choose to refer to themselves as Twisted Sister.

Twisted Sister said...

Good for you. Now fuck off, whack job.

Anonymous said...

I realllly hate coming on here to see if there are anymore good guesses just to find more bickering!

Come on guys, its FRIDAY...relax. Why in the hell is everyone fighting..lets just post guesses, supporting ideas, etc.

ummmmmmk? Thanks

-K

Anonymous said...

Did you suck my dad's cock too? Brave Twisted Sister.

mary mac said...

Ooo ooo ooo!!!

Richie Sambora just admitted to rehab...off to search some old BI's!!!

(I know...I need a life! Tee hee!)

Anonymous said...

I love this bitch fighting!!! This is not THE place for it, though. Contribute something to the BI or take your flabby asses elsewhere!
Cappish? Comprende? Understand!

Anonymous said...

I've searched for recent (last 5 years) celebrity weddings. I'm SO drawing a blank. I thought Heath was such a good guess- but he and Michelle have a kid, and I really got the feeling no children were involved in this marriage.
And I keep thinking it sounds like he's taking care of it this summer, which should make it more recent.
Brad Pitt is out of the question. He had a REAL divorce from JA.
SachaBC is not hot. Never was.Not cusp a-list either.
Jay mohr is not hot. Never was. Not cusp a-list either.

So I guess my contributions are sad. Nothing original. But I'll keep looking!

kchal said...

Yes, just IGNORE the haters please - it is now the 'IA' Sheesh club - if you get too irritated just post back ' Sheesh - you'll feel better - I think majority on the site enjoy the comments and guessing and if we just ignore the losers we can drive them away - SHEESH.. :)

Anonymous said...

This is supposed to be a fun gossip website, but of course with any public site, a few always seem to spoil it for the rest.

Ent, if you allow the trolls to take over this site, it will end up like alt.gossip.celebrities. Just spam, stalking, trolls and trash with a gossip item here or there.

Twisted Sister said...

Anon 7:44 - I still think it must be someone from another country or someone would have heard about this before. Like the poster from Brad Pitt's town said - word travels.

Anonymous said...

did Brandon Routh every marry his TV actress fiance? He comes from Iowa, Superman would make him Cusp A list, has done other films and tv work. Courtney Ford (fiance) is a tv actress (although not well known)

Twisted Sister said...

7:57 - imdb.com doesn't show Brandon Routh as being married.

Anonymous said...

After looking closely:
-Says that he is going back this summer to deal with real wife.
-Actor is still "married" to the somewhat loose-lipped B-actress.
-It says a few years go by and you don't go back. A few MORE years go by you are cusp a-list. Then the marriage. Which seems to lead us to maybe 10 years in LA, which would put the age probably over the 30 mark.
-Films, SOME TV. Not a regular tv show guy probably. Probably a movie guy who's made appearances or cameos.

Twisted Sister said...

Arnold Schwarzenegger

I don't really think it's him, but that would be kind of funny.

Anonymous said...

I thought I liked this site. No offense, but how old are you ladies (like Hez, Twisted Sister, Pinky)? Because I am a teenager and even I think you are imature and crude. I wanted to see more about Dom. Swain being ZX but I am seriouusly doubting that is real now. If my Mom, who is 38, talked like this I would be so, like, ashamed. Not to hurt your feelings, and you probably don't care about what I think anyway or might attack me or something, so I am just going to sign a fake name.

Sarah

mary mac said...

Hez, Twisted, et al...

Let's just move on and continue to have fun with these...

I still have no idea who this is though...
humph!

Anonymous said...

You are a very sweet, eloquent teenager.

Anonymous said...

Kchal- SHEESH to you

Twisted Sister said...

Mary Mac, and others - I'm stumped on whether or not the B-list television actress is in a current show, or if this part of it was in the past. What do you guys think?

Anonymous said...

I enjoy celebrity news blogs and I have been to quite a few of them. I have trying to find one where I can enjoy the entertainment aspects of it with like-minded souls. Unfortunately there are a lot of hateful stupid psychopaths out there and they need to be ignored.
Making personal attacks on people you don't know is clearly the sign of mental instability.

Anonymous said...

Anon 6:27, Thank you so much for the advice. Might I suggest you "take it" to Perez where you my enjoy the coveted opportunity to type "FIRST" and hit enter several thousand times.
p.s. I think it was 3 r's rather than 2, if that helps with that bothersome transparency issue

Proud to be a "troll" said...

Yeah, it's like they want to be "cool" teenagers, trying to talk like younger people talk, street talk stuff, and talking about smoking weed and swearing and giving blow jobs and forming little exclusive clubs and crap.

Most of these celebrities are young enough to be their kids - it's kind of disgusting if you think about it. And this immature signing your name or else you are a troll. If the writer is a lawyer, which I DOUBT, what is wrong with him that he lets this go on? SHEESH, sheesh, sheesh, right back at ya! (And Sarah, don't worry about huritng their feelings, they don't worry about hurting anyone else's, from what I've seen)

Twisted Sister said...

Proud to be a "troll" -

Count me out of that club. I think potheads, etc. are imbiciles.

Anonymous said...

Sorry but Im 23 and NOT OLD and I enjoy this site, post regulary, etc... the OLD people u r referring to are the ones who either solve these BI's, get us close to it, or STAY ON TOPIC.

If you are coming in to start a fight, GO AWAY. thats not what this comment section is for


-K

Anonymous said...

Res Ipsa Loquitor: Paris Hilton and the Dirty Deal

"The scum always rises."

-Richard M. Nixon

Paris Hilton lay on her steel bed, quivering and shivering. She had the shakes, bad. Her herpes had erupted in a bad, pestilent rash all over her thighs. Her withdrawal symptoms were bad and getting worse. She recognized the feeling. Bad flu symptoms and the herpes eruption. She knew that soon the bile would begin to rise. She thought she saw flying wombats coming at her from the window on the door of her cell.

Nice thoughts, nice thoughts. She tried to concentrate. A big, fat turgid penis entering her valtrex vagina. Fat cocaine rails lining the top of the steel toilet in her cell. Paul Allen floating her a thousand dollar bill for a blowjob.

It wasnt't working. Her thighs itched uncontrollably. She'd scratched the herpes eruptions until they bled, and still the damn things itched. She's ducked off everyone from the arresting officer to the guards to the trusty, and nothing had worked. Daddy had to come through this time.

"Behind every great fortune lies crime."

-Voltaire

Rick Hilton paced his family room, impatiently. He knew there had to be a way to spring Paris. He just hadn't thought of it yet. Kathy had sucked him off three times that morning, and yet no inspiration. He was stupid, but he knew how money worked. There was always someone to bribe to get what you wanted. It was, he thought, the American way.

He grew angry when he thought of Howard Weitzman. Asshole was supposed to be the best connected lawyer in LA, he thought, and all I got for his 250K fee was a limo ride to court. Bastard didn't even know how to bribe someone in the DMV so that Paris could keep her license after her DUI. It's all his thought, Rick thought. Goddamn Jew lawyer. Maybe the new Jew lawyer will come through, mused Rick.

The phone rang. Rick answered it. Answered prayers. The deal would go down tonight. He had the cash for the Sheriff. Paris knew what she had to do.

"I only get my rocks off when I'm dreaming..."

Jagger/Richards

Lee Baca, LA County Sheriff, slapped some Old Spice on his testicles. He thought he was dreaming. Yesterday, he was a middle aged lump taking bribes to take care of traffic tickets in order to fund his divorce and gambling debts. Tonight, he was going to take in a hundred grand in cash. And Paris Hilton was going to suck his cock. He wanted his testicles to smell nice for her. He slapped some more Old Spice on his balls.

He put on his trousers and started out the door. Suddenly, he stopped. Cunt has herpes, he thought. Better bring a condom. Looking into his wallet, he realized that his wallet condom had been in there so long that it had left a ring on the outside of his wallet. Got to stop at a convenience store to get a rubber, he thought.

"To live like an outlaw, you have to be honest."

-Unknown outlaw biker

Rocky Delgadillo, LA City Attorney, put the phone down, and smacked his lips. Baca was going to spring Paris Hilton, he thought, and the dumbass wasn't going to share the love. He smiled. I'm gonna fuck him up bad, he thought. He picked up the telephone and called Judge Sauer.

"I shot the sheriff..."

Bob Marley

Superior Court Judge Michael T. Sauer slammed the phone down. Goddamn it, he screamed. He kicked the wall. He was sick of this shit. Everytime some celebrity punk got caught driving drunk, he tried to punish him as if he was Mr. John Q. Public. And every goddamn time he did, that fucking sheriff took a bribe and let the celebrity go. And the asshole never spread the wealth, either.

This time was going to be different, Sauer thought. Delgadillo was a shitty lawyer, but he was fucking ambitious. Since he was a shitty lawyer, Sauer was going to have to write the papers that Deladillo had to file with his court as soon as possible after Paris Hilton was sprung. But Delgadillo is a sneaky shit, thought Sauer. And all he has to do is file them. Sauer smiled. This time, I'm going to fuck Baca up.

"C'mon, Sweet Virginia,
Got to scrape that shit up off your shoes"

Jagger/Richards

Home, sweet, home, thought Paris. She knelt down before Sheriff Leroy Baca, unzipped his polyester pants,and pulled out his turgid, but small, penis. Ugh, Paris thought as she licked the head of Sheriff Leroy Baca's cock. Old Spice. I can't believe this lameo put Old Spice on his cock. I haven't seen that since I was fucking guys in a West Hollywood apartment for one Benjamin Franklin. She giggled.

Paris engulfed the Sheriff's turgid, yet small, cock and he gagged. Damn, he thought. So this is a celebrity blowjob. Feels damn good. Then he blew penis snot all over Paris's tonsils.

Thank God, thought Paris. She gulped the Sheriff's sperm down, and quickly tucked his nasty little penis back in his pants.

"Breaking rocks in the hot sun
I fought the law and the law won"

Eddie Cochran

"Whatdoyamean, she has to go back to court?" Rick Hilton thundered into the telephone receiver. "What about my hundred grand? What about Paris sucking his cock?"

Rick slammed the telephone receiver down and looked down at his wife, Kathy, who was naked and kneeling before him, Rick's cum splattered all over her face. "Goddamn it," he told Kathy. "Fucking Jew lawyer. We paid off the wrong guy!"

"I bet there´s rich folks eating in a fancy dining car
they´re probably drinkin´ coffee and smoking big cigars.
Well I know I had it coming, I know I can´t be free
but those people keep a movin´
and that´s what tortures me..."

Johnny Cash

Judge Sauer leered at Paris Hilton as she stood before him in his court. Stupid cunt, he thought. I'm going to mow her down like a rabbit on a freeway during rush hour.

"Order, order," he said, banging his gavel. "Now what's this I hear about you being set free and placed under house arrest when I specifically ordered that you serve your time in jail?" He smiled as Paris erupted in a small cry and started sobbingly. What a stupid cunt, he thought. Who in earth would want to fuck this bitch? She's got man hands, a wonky eye, and a Valtrex vagina. Hope Vaca caught herpes from this slut.

Twisted Sister said...

Michael J. Fox?

Anonymous said...

Editor's Note: Despite her family's money, her family's lawyers, and her fellatio skills, Paris Hilton is going back to the slam. Our own Dr. Hunter S. Thompson, Chief of our National Affairs Desk and a veteran of many corruption scandals, reports.

"The scum always rises."

-Richard M. Nixon

Paris Hilton lay on her steel bed, quivering and shivering. She had the shakes, bad. Her herpes had erupted in a bad, pestilent rash all over her thighs. Her withdrawal symptoms were bad and getting worse. She recognized the feeling. Bad flu symptoms and the herpes eruption. She knew that soon the bile would begin to rise. She thought she saw flying wombats coming at her from the window on the door of her cell.

Nice thoughts, nice thoughts. She tried to concentrate. A big, fat turgid penis entering her valtrex vagina. Fat cocaine rails lining the top of the steel toilet in her cell. Paul Allen floating her a thousand dollar bill for a blowjob.

It wasnt't working. Her thighs itched uncontrollably. She'd scratched the herpes eruptions until they bled, and still the damn things itched. She's ducked off everyone from the arresting officer to the guards to the trusty, and nothing had worked. Daddy had to come through this time.

"Behind every great fortune lies crime."

-Voltaire

Rick Hilton paced his family room, impatiently. He knew there had to be a way to spring Paris. He just hadn't thought of it yet. Kathy had sucked him off three times that morning, and yet no inspiration. He was stupid, but he knew how money worked. There was always someone to bribe to get what you wanted. It was, he thought, the American way.

He grew angry when he thought of Howard Weitzman. Asshole was supposed to be the best connected lawyer in LA, he thought, and all I got for his 250K fee was a limo ride to court. Bastard didn't even know how to bribe someone in the DMV so that Paris could keep her license after her DUI. It's all his thought, Rick thought. Goddamn Jew lawyer. Maybe the new Jew lawyer will come through, mused Rick.

The phone rang. Rick answered it. Answered prayers. The deal would go down tonight. He had the cash for the Sheriff. Paris knew what she had to do.

"I only get my rocks off when I'm dreaming..."

Jagger/Richards

Lee Baca, LA County Sheriff, slapped some Old Spice on his testicles. He thought he was dreaming. Yesterday, he was a middle aged lump taking bribes to take care of traffic tickets in order to fund his divorce and gambling debts. Tonight, he was going to take in a hundred grand in cash. And Paris Hilton was going to suck his cock. He wanted his testicles to smell nice for her. He slapped some more Old Spice on his balls.

He put on his trousers and started out the door. Suddenly, he stopped. Cunt has herpes, he thought. Better bring a condom. Looking into his wallet, he realized that his wallet condom had been in there so long that it had left a ring on the outside of his wallet. Got to stop at a convenience store to get a rubber, he thought.

"To live like an outlaw, you have to be honest."

-Unknown outlaw biker

Rocky Delgadillo, LA City Attorney, put the phone down, and smacked his lips. Baca was going to spring Paris Hilton, he thought, and the dumbass wasn't going to share the love. He smiled. I'm gonna fuck him up bad, he thought. He picked up the telephone and called Judge Sauer.

"I shot the sheriff..."

Bob Marley

Superior Court Judge Michael T. Sauer slammed the phone down. Goddamn it, he screamed. He kicked the wall. He was sick of this shit. Everytime some celebrity punk got caught driving drunk, he tried to punish him as if he was Mr. John Q. Public. And every goddamn time he did, that fucking sheriff took a bribe and let the celebrity go. And the asshole never spread the wealth, either.

This time was going to be different, Sauer thought. Delgadillo was a shitty lawyer, but he was fucking ambitious. Since he was a shitty lawyer, Sauer was going to have to write the papers that Deladillo had to file with his court as soon as possible after Paris Hilton was sprung. But Delgadillo is a sneaky shit, thought Sauer. And all he has to do is file them. Sauer smiled. This time, I'm going to fuck Baca up.

"C'mon, Sweet Virginia,
Got to scrape that shit up off your shoes"

Jagger/Richards

Home, sweet, home, thought Paris. She knelt down before Sheriff Leroy Baca, unzipped his polyester pants,and pulled out his turgid, but small, penis. Ugh, Paris thought as she licked the head of Sheriff Leroy Baca's cock. Old Spice. I can't believe this lameo put Old Spice on his cock. I haven't seen that since I was fucking guys in a West Hollywood apartment for one Benjamin Franklin. She giggled.

Paris engulfed the Sheriff's turgid, yet small, cock and he gagged. Damn, he thought. So this is a celebrity blowjob. Feels damn good. Then he blew penis snot all over Paris's tonsils.

Thank God, thought Paris. She gulped the Sheriff's sperm down, and quickly tucked his nasty little penis back in his pants.

"Breaking rocks in the hot sun
I fought the law and the law won"

Eddie Cochran

"Whatdoyamean, she has to go back to court?" Rick Hilton thundered into the telephone receiver. "What about my hundred grand? What about Paris sucking his cock?"

Rick slammed the telephone receiver down and looked down at his wife, Kathy, who was naked and kneeling before him, Rick's cum splattered all over her face. "Goddamn it," he told Kathy. "Fucking Jew lawyer. We paid off the wrong guy!"

"I bet there´s rich folks eating in a fancy dining car
they´re probably drinkin´ coffee and smoking big cigars.
Well I know I had it coming, I know I can´t be free
but those people keep a movin´
and that´s what tortures me..."

Johnny Cash

Judge Sauer was pissed. "Where is that sleazy cunt?" he roared from the bench.

Sheriff Baca timidly said "I told Paris she could phone in. She, you know, has all that press, you know, in front of her mansion. I could barely get out of there last night without being seen - oops."

Judge Sauer turned bright read. "Get that cunt in here NOW or I will send you to jail for so long that your asshole will be as big as a European train tunnel when the homeboys get through with it," he screamed as Sheriff Baca pissed himself.

"Hang down your head, Tom Dooley
Hang down your head and cry
Hang down your head, Tom Dooley
Poor boy gonna die."

-Traditional folk song

Judge Sauer stared at Paris Hilton as she stood before him in his court. Stupid cunt, he thought. I'm going to mow you down like a rabbit on a freeway during rush hour.

"Order, order," he said, banging his gavel. "I suppose you think I should let you remain free and under under house arrest?" He smiled as Paris erupted in a small cry and started sobbingly. "Trust me, bubelah, that will happen on a cold day in hell," he whispered. Paris started wailing out loud. What a stupid cunt, he thought. Who in earth would want to fuck this bitch? She's got man hands, a wonky eye, and a Valtrex vagina.

He looked directly at Sheriff Baca. "Hope you caught herpes from this slut last night," he leered. "if not, you're going to catch it where you're going. I find you contemptible and in contempt of court, and I order the Los Angeles District Attorney to investigate you for bribery. Something's rotten in Los Angeles, and we're going to pour sunlight on the scum and let it die." A large pool of urine formed at Sheriff Baca's feet.

Anonymous said...

PARIS GOT 180 DAYS IN JAIL>>>AHAHAHAHAHA>>>STUPID CUNT

Anonymous said...

Don't shoot the messenger

Which Oscar nominee, briefly linked with a top model, is infamous with one ex-girlfriend for once suggesting an intimate act that involved a vacuum cleaner?

--- Oh Leo...

brendalove@gmail.com said...

ENT - you have the option on Blogger dashboard to not allow anonymous comments.

Robin said...

Anonymous or not, the haters aren't going to go away unless we stop acknowledging their posts. I swear they're just typing in this stuff to get a reaction...and its working.

Anonymous said...

Just to throw out an idea: is the correct word/phrase "summertime" or "summer time". I always thought it was one word, so sort of read this as "Summer" being a name? ie Mary time or Beth time. Time to deal with the wife, Summer.

Anonymous said...

Brendalove- get off your high horse and deal with it. If you don't want "haters" then get AOL instant messenger, and chit chat with your friends.

Anonymous said...

ENT.... don't allow anonymous comments. Wahh wahh. Don't be a baby. If your feelings are getting hurt, or if we're hurting your moral fiber stop reading.

brendalove@gmail.com said...

I'm sorry, I don't know how to read Jackass language.

Anonymous said...

I know you are, but what am I? I'm rubber you're glue whatever you say bounces off of me and sticks to you.

Anonymous said...

No Brendalove- you speak Dumb Cunt language.

brendalove@gmail.com said...

By the way, Anon - what happened to you emailing me if you have a problem with me? I never did get an email. I'm sure there will be one in my inbox when I get home, right? Come on, don't be afraid.
Otherwise, STFU

Anonymous said...

I must be a different anonymous. I don't have a problem with you. I just think you're comments are stupid. No need to explain it further in e-mail form.

brendalove@gmail.com said...

If you don't like it, don't read it. If you want to talk it out then email me. Otherwise, I'm done with you.

Anonymous said...

But who am I? I could be Twisted Sister, or Tracee, or Mookie, or Hez. I could be anyone. Maybe I'm Brendalove just trying to entertain myself.

Anonymous said...

Okay I think some of you are mixing up the people here. The in crowd who are always talking in code are people like Hez and Tracee and others who have to suck up to Hez with bullshit posts saying things like "Oh I adore you." Twisted Sister and Mary Mac aren't part of that. In fact you can tell TS must hate Hez cuz she never responds to her and has smacked her down when Hez is acting like her typical bitchy self. If anyone needs to be gone it's Hez and Tracee.

Anonymous said...

Hez. Who the F is Hez? She seems like some kind of wanna be blogger. I went to her sight, and she seemed like someone who thought she was WAY more important than she probably is. Tracee seems like some some unhappy bitch trying to find a little validation for her probably sad life. Why would anyone be kissing Hez's ass? Tracee and Hez were talking about getting stoned and road tripping together. Sounds like they're real winners. I have friends, and don't need the internet to act like I'm something I'm not to get people to be my friends. Thanks for the explanation 10:51. They all probably hate you for being anonymous, but I like you.

kchal said...

Sheesh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sheesh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sheesh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cali Girl said...

WOW. I saw a bunch more comments had been added since the last time I checked this posting. Was excited to see new dialogue and ideas as this one is really intriguing. Am bummed to see it's all nastiness and not guesses on the BI....

Can we agree to move past this and get back with the guessing?

Robin said...

Again, the haters aren't going to go away unless we stop acknowledging their posts. I swear they're just typing in this stuff to get a reaction...and its working.

Anonymous said...

Then stop acknowledging it robin.

Anonymous said...

Good point Robin, I am with you. Ignore them and maybe they will go away.

drcocks said...

Someone hold me, I'm skeered.

Anonymous said...

This is entertaining! Keep going Anon 10:51 and 10:59! Are you the same person? Anyway, you're on a roll! LOL!!! ROFL!!!

Please don't get off your soap box, that's good material. Did you post that dirty little novel posted above, too?!

Tracee (IA/sheesh)

Anonymous said...

Anon 10:51,
You sound like a pompous prick who wasn't fucking held as a baby. Better yet, you sound just as fucking annoying as the posters you're pointing out. Who gives a fat fuck?!! Move on you fucking loser. Nobody wants to hear your shit either, bitch! Add to the guesses, stop your whining and grow the FUCK up!

Sarah, people fucking cuss. You'll realize that when you get older sweetheart.

I think this BI sounds like Ryan Gosling too. He's not totally A-list.

ANONNNNNNNNNNNNN

Anonymous said...

After all this, I think Ent. should just give us the answer!

Anony said...

Yikes! May I just point out that Jennifer Esposito is a TV actress also? 'Spin City'-- and I do agree that "The Regulars" drag this site down. I click on the heading to read comments so I don't have to look at those ridiculous avatars/pictures. Really makes the site more enjoyable. And to the anon with the "creative writing" quoting Richard Nixon(?!) We get it! So STOP!!!!

Anonymous said...

what about scott speedman? wikipedia specifically says he moved to LA after high school. though I can't find anything about him being married.... :(

rapture said...

9:12 AM? 9:12 is clearly a virgin.
and 14 years old. i didn't even have to read the whole thing to know that you are sexist and anti-semetic. die scum! free paris!

other than that, the fighting on here has been entertaining. maybe better than blind item reveals. heh.

Pinky said...

"Sarah, people fucking cuss. You'll realize that when you get older sweetheart."

I keep coming back to read this, it makes me laugh really hard. THANK YOU!

Anonymous said...

hez is fug

Anonymous said...

No she most definitely is not - whoever wrote that is an idiot.

NARC said...

SO IT'S CONFIRMED: HEZ IS A TROLL?

YOU WOULD THINK SOMEONE LIVING IN VANCOUVER WOULD HAVE BETTER THINGS TO DO WITH THEIR TIME.

UNFORTUNATE.

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