I am an idiot
. It's confirmed. And Anonymous 3:14 or whomever was so nasty about my perpetual lunch break, I salute you. I was at a pool party at a girl's aunt's opulent mansion- I don't really know if we weren't supposed to be there, or if the aunt was just wary of the criminals who might inhabit her estate in her absence, but we were locked out and had to potty by the tennis courts. I don't mean cop a squat; This place was so posh, the more athletically bent had their own flush toilet.
Anyway, my friend and I convinced everyone to go bowling, and they said they would meet us there later. She had a blotchy face from too much beer and sun and I suggested we pop by the mall to try on some makeup samples. So we shot in there and were distracted by shiny objects- so many stores and interesting people on third street promenade, and by the time we were leaving, we were late and starving once again and bought two dozen Mrs. Field's cookies to assuage our waiting friends.
Got back to the rental only to discover that I didn't have my keys. Anywhere. Friend didn't have them either. So we called the friends who were thankfully just getting to the bowling alley, (which was closed,) themselves. I retraced my steps, but our whirlwind had covered about ten shops in as many minutes. I thought to myself, 'Come on, they're KEYS! They're the most important thing in the universe besides phones. Someone will see them and turn them in.' But no one did. Ever. The friends came by to laugh at us and eat our cookies, and ended up driving us home.
The next day, I called Enterprise and asked when I could pick up the spare key. “There is no spare key.” Evidently, they keep all the spare keys on lock down in St. Louis. “Okay,” I said. “Can I have them overnight it to me?”The girl started to get flustered and said, “St.Louis, MISSOURI,” like she might've said Zimbabwe or Timbuktu and it was an impossibility. So I had to have a key made which costs hundreds of dollars and takes a long time and now have it rubber banded to my wrist.
Now, having admitted I may be a little preoccupied lately or have brain damage, all I'm saying is that if you got a hotel room and lost the key, they would magic you up a new one and tell you to enjoy your stay. So. Just don't lose your rent-a-key. Just don't. The Kiarrhea is having clutch/transmission problems, so my friend followed me as I drove it down to the Carson dealership, but it revved and choked and finally stopped completely one exit from the desired Avalon, so we Triple A'd twice in one day. The problem may not be covered by the warranty so my friend started crying and I took her to lunch and gave her some 1920's boots and perfume and a card. Turns out the man who sold it to her is a great person and is having it fixed. We're going to pick it up tomorrow, after the bed people deliver my bed.
My manager called me today and said he had “Good news,” but then was in meetings every time I called to pester him. I don't think he would dare say good news wantonly because he knows what a rectal vortex I get in when I'm disappointed. I'll keep you posted.