So all day I've been thinking I need to talk about Britney and her troubles in Vegas or Lindsay and her carjacking or even Paris and her 354th new dog. But honestly, I'm tired of the three of them. I haven't checked the labels to see how many times I've written about them in the last 9 months but I guarantee they are there the most. I would much rather rant at Posh or look at Isla Fisher being pregnant photos but honestly, all gossip sites see a huge spike when you have something like Lindsay getting arrested.
It's cool to write about the arrest and the drama that follows but then it just goes on and on and on and then she will probably show up at a party this weekend and then the speculation will be about is she drinking or not and Britney will have a breakdown and flash her boobies to the world and have sex in the lobby at the Westward Ho (insert own joke there). Paris will no doubt try and convince the world who watches Larry King that she's reformed and helping out children's charities and People will be right behind her with their knee pads while the rest of us know she's off doing drugs and still being Paris.
I don't want you to think I'm ignoring the Paris and Lindsay and Britney triumvirate today, but I just don't feel like I have anything to add to what the other million gossip sites have said. Whenever I write about something I try and find the one angle that has been written about the least, or not at all like how did Lindsay put on someone else's pants and then run out to the truck fast enough to get in and chase the assistant? Remember, it has to be someone else's pants because the coke found in the pants isn't hers. The pants above are what she was wearing a few hours before she got arrested. What pants was she wearing when she did get arrested? I guess it's possible that one of the guys in the truck or the guy she ran over with the truck could have reached over to her and stuffed the coke inside her pants because coke in your pants is just a party waiting to happen. Speaking of those guys. They are the most boring guys in the world. I watched that damn TMZ video last night about midnight and it was better than my best friend NyQuil.
Britney is just one mess after another. Have you ever been with kids in Vegas? They don't mix. Sure people pretend they do by saying nice things about Circus Circus and the theme like hotels, but really its about adults going out getting drunk, having lots of sex with their significant other or a stranger and losing your rent money because the guy throwing the dice works for the casino. So she starts off with kids in tow and then goes to the Wynn which just gives me the creeps anyway. You know heebie jeebies? I get them when I go there. But then I'm a downtown kind of guy anyway. I know what I'm in Vegas for and unless I'm on a weekend date with someone I'm trying to impress, there isn't going to be any Mamma Mia or Circus of the Sun.
I just can't understand why she doesn't want to stay home if she's going to be with the kids? If she wants to go to Vegas, then fine, go and have a great time but why take the chance on your kid getting hurt (which he did) by bringing them along when you know you are going to be swarmed? Leave them with their dad, don't violate court orders and then you can relax and go and get naked and marry your brother. That's what Vegas is for. Right Angelina? (Satire people. It's satire)