Friday, September 28, 2007

Jessica Alba Is No Heidi Klum


Before you read, make sure you click on the photo to make it super big.

With the exception of one set of photos, every photo I have ever seen of Heidi Klum, she always looks amazing. To me, a model should always look amazing. I submit Heidi, Cindy Crawford, Christie Brinkley, Naomi Campbell, Iman. They always look amazing even out grocery shopping. An actress doesn't have to look amazing. They just need to have a presence and talent and something that makes you go, "wow."

Now, if an actress doesn't have much talent and relies on her looks to get parts, then I think the model standard needs to apply.

Let's face it, Jessica Alba isn't going to win any Academy Awards unless they come up with some MTV type categories. So, she needs her looks. This photo is distressing, because (a) she's not that old, and (b) how is she going to look in 5 years? Make sure you click on the photo to get it super big so you can see what I'm talking about.

I get lots of e-mails from people about how celebrities look in person and I'm sure almost all of you who have met one have been disappointed.

I remember when I was much, much younger, I met Vanna White. She was on a book tour for some ghostwritten book she was trying to pass off as her own. Anyway, I remember the book signing was at a grocery store of all places. It was really close to my house so I went with a few friends because hey, this is Vanna White. Wheel was at the height of its popularity and Vanna was one of the reasons. When you saw her up close, she was a mess.

Even with makeup, she looked about 50 even though she was probably 20 years younger. She had bad breath and her hair looked funny. She was just so disappointing, and I was stunned as were my friends that this creature in front of us was the hottie from Wheel. Honestly, since that day, I have maybe watched Wheel twice.

I think when you meet a male celebrity it is a little easier and less shocking except for their height. Looks wise though they tend to look much more the same in person and on screen as compared to women.

So next time someone says they would rather be with Jessica Alba, just show them this photo.

24 comments:

kitty said...

And HD TV will make them look even worse because all of their flaws will be magnified exponentially.

Btw, years ago a male friend saw Jennifer "Summer of 42" O'Neill up close and in person and was crushed because she looked twice as old as she was at the time.

...

Joanna said...

Amen - thank you for posting this - because I have never understood what the hell is so great about this bitch. There are so many actresses SO much hotter than her yet people seem to make SUCH a big deal about her and I have no idea why! No clue! She's average looking, praying-mantis-skinny and has no boobs at all (except when she's on a mag cover, then they photoshop her some boobs).

curious_cailyn said...

ENT: Couple things:

#1) As requested, I did "supersize" Jalba's photo. And ...ummm ...if that's your idea of "distressing," you've been in H-wood too long, pal... Waaaay too long.
I've NEVER been a Jalba fan, but the girl is making a FACE -- big deal! At the very least, I expected some serious wrinkling, splotchiness, maybe touch of ACNE... I dunno -- something!

#2) There's a difference between always looking good "in person" and always being PHOTOGENIC. While I have NO doubt that Ms. Klum looks amazing in the flesh 24/7 as well, all those pics really prove is that she's photogenic!

Sheesh. Haven't you learned ANYTHING from "America's Next Top Model"? Now that's some educational programming. :)

kellysirkus said...

She looks like Britney Spears in that photo.
When she has a kid and loses her body she'll be just as gross as Britney. She always talks about how everyone in her family is obese

rakemama said...

Ehhh, what's it matter? It's not like she's a Latina or something ;)

Fabiola Thing said...

Thank you, Joanna! I have never, ever understood why Alba is even remotely considered hot...and she is a lousy actress.

Jessica said...

I don't like her either, but yea...she's making the "pissed off/annoyed" look, probably because she's being followed by some photographer- plus, there's a shadow over her face from her hat, and her eye makeup seems a little smeared.

I think she seems bitchy and annoying, and she's definitely not a very talented actress. However, lots and lots of guys are obsessed with her because of her body, even though I think she's too thin.

Connie said...

Oh for pity sakes, so she doesn't look "amazing". I bet Heidi looks so "amazing" 24/7 either. Frankly, I don't see anything so dreadful awful about her. I looked at the large photo and I didn't see fangs or nasty zits. I saw a young woman who was about to have a pedicure and was pissed off because the damm photographer was in her face.

I neither like nor dislike her btw.

Khemenu said...

It must be weird to be famous and to notice that flicker of dissappointment in people's faces when they meet you. I remember George Clooney telling a story about some woman thinking he was a lot older than he was. He was joking about it but did seem genuinely hurt by it a bit.

I suppose it's ten times worse when you're somebody like Jessica Alba whose success is so dependant on your appearance. There will always be somebody prettier and younger nipping at your heels. All that hard work, all those blow jobs, wasted.

Outright Lawyer said...
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K said...

bit harsh Ent, I have to agree with Curious and Connie here.

Girl just looks tired and pissed off. Nothing shocking in that picture, unless I'm missing an extra nose there or something?

mocha said...

kellysirkus, is it me or are you obsessed with britney spears? you always seem to bring her up even if the topic has nothing to do with her.

as far as gross body? she's had two kids in two years and doesn't work out, i doubt your body would or does look much better.

Glamour Boy said...

I was expecting something...hideous.

That wasn't hideous. It just proves that she has her off-days.

hannah said...

Bah, no fair. Girls go to way greater lengths to be beautiful for events. Guys just comb their hair and throw on a suit (and maybe some concealer). So of course she's not gonna look super hot without getting all snazzed up. I'm not a huge Jessica Alba fan, but there are much worse looking "hot" celeb ladies, sans make-up.

Harriet Hellfire said...

I always thought Jessica Alba was kind of f-ed up looking, like her parents are related or something. It's just obvious in this picture because she didn't have time to turn to her "pretty angle".

Ghost said...
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Ghost said...

I'm not seeing anything other than a too-thin girl making a scowly face while wearing a hat and no make up.

You guys seem to think the hot girls don't wear make up, and magically look gorgeous all the time by the sheer power of their hotness. Well, they don't. They too can look tired and pissed off, so that might be good to remember when creating ridiculous expectations no one can live up to.

lwall7 said...

Ent...I think you've been in LA too long. Or maybe despite the fact that you've been in LA so long you still entertain the notion that what you see on the big (or little) screen reflects reality.

Saffron said...

Oh please! Heidi Klum and Cindy Crawford look very normal and ordinary (except that they are taller than average) when in public. Don't be fooled by airbrushing/photoshopping.

Ghost said...

ps, I meant to say ENT, this sounds like nothing more than you trying to put yourself off a girl before you become too interested (even in the abstract sense) and then get disappointed for some other reason.

She's just a girl with a great body who gets over-hyped - like a lot of people in the business.

Poo Rang said...

She needs to use SUNBLOCK soon....

Melissa said...

Can it. Though I don't like her either, taking a pot shot at her when she looks like a normie is SUCH a low blow. Very Perez of you, actually.

To think I used to respect your logical opinion.

mngddess said...

Ent, when you make these comments it makes me wonder about you. I totally agree with Cailin, Connie and Ghost. Women age as they get older. We don't like it, but it happens. I just think its bad lighting. Sure, she might need eye cream but she doesn't look like a hag. What you must think of us ladies who follow your blog...

Cyn

Sweater said...

I agree with the sunblock comment.
Also she is wearing makeup.

No opinion one way or another on her or the pic, but you are never too young to start taking care of your skin.
As for models, hell if I got hundreds of dollars worth of skin care and thousands of dollars worth of outfits for free, I would consider looking good at all times part of my job :)