Thursday, December 20, 2007

Katie Is Mom But Nicole Is Nicole--Huh?


So, I was sitting here and looking at all the puff pieces that Tom and Katie's people have been trying to jam down our throats this week to show they are totally normal. All the people who don't read blogs and the internet get their entertainment news from Parade and Kneepads Magazine. It's true. The average age of their reader is 114. Therefore this Sunday, people will open their Parade Magazine and see Diane Keaton holding hands with Queen Latifah (no lesbian rumors in the over 100 crowd), and a photoshopped Katie Holmes sharing all of her holiday plans with the readers.

Anyway, my mind was reeling from the sugary sweetness of the "interview" when I realized that Katie said that Isabella and Connor call her mom. It didn't register at first, but then as I was wondering whether to post about the SAG Awards nominations I saw Nicole Kidman's name and realized she had just given an interview where she made a point of the fact that Isabella and Connor call her Nicole.

How strange is that? I think what we have here is a Parade "interview" that was done before Nicole's interview came out. All the aww shucks warm and fuzzy about Katie kind of turns odd when the two children of Nicole and Tom don't call their mother mom, but call their barely older step-mother, "mom."

What do they call Tom? Katie and Nicole both don't answer that question. My guesses in order are (1) General (2) Sir (3) Strange Little Dude

Here are some quotes from Parade. I can seriously feel cavities forming in my few remaining teeth. This is totally designed for the dinner before 4pm crowd.

“I will probably cook some garlic mashed potatoes and maybe a cheesecake,” she says.
She adds that “Tom’s really good in the kitchen ... [he] has shown me the greatness of extra chocolate chips.”

“Suri will be in the dough everywhere,” Holmes joked.

She said the family — who include Cruise’s kids with Nicole Kidman, Connor, 12, and Isabella, 14 — will likely go skiing. (She added that “[Tom’s] first two children are incredible, really smart and kind. They call me ‘Mom.’”)

As for the couple’s first child, Suri, Holmes says “we don't like to be away from her.
“She's very aware,” Holmes adds. “This summer, when Tom was working in Germany, she'd wake up and say, ‘Hello, Berlin,’”

“I appreciate the man that I'm with and my family and my work,” she tells Parade. “I feel very lucky to be able to say that. I mean, what we do in a week is extraordinary.”

35 comments:

ana said...

Poor Nicole, what a total slap in the face.

__-__=__ said...

Those kids would probably have to go to Scientology confession and pay penance if they didn't call Kate Mom. Or if they did call Nicole Mom.

SpiN said...

I must go gouge out my eyes now. I bet sugar pours out. To quote Kiera knightly, "I don't like being raped by sugar"

sallymde said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
sallymde said...

So did you just cut and paste this from Perez Hilton's Article????

Kristen S. said...

TomKat disgusts me.

jax said...

Extrordinary
incredible
greatness


what is with the Xenus and these particular words..all the Sciborgs say it like thet get paid by the word. weird.

kellysirkus said...

hopefully all the Botox has caused some numbness in Nicole's face so she didn't feel the sting of the slap too bad.

RoboBride and Gay Midget are freakiest of freaks.
I think I'd rather spend Christmas with the Spears family than endure an evening risking my brain function with the Crazy Cruise Clan

Trix said...

Ha, the minute I read that they call her "mom" I thought, Nicole is going to plotz...

and why the hell did they photoshop Katie into looking like The Joker? She looks scary.

Melissa said...

Soooooo, nobody thinks it's possible that the GMD might just be phasing Nic out of the picture and that this whole thing is part of some weird contractual thing? The coincidence is just uncanny...

Perhaps I've been reading too much CDAN...it's making me paranoid.

Grace said...

I have a feeling that what KatE left out was that Tom forced the kids to call her "mom."

I also find it telling that in Nicole's interview she said she tells them (the kids) off when they call her Nicole. Who tell their kids off? That's pretty brazen, but I guess she was really pissed.

wood1107 said...

I tell my kids off all the time. I just told them off this morning.

Aside from all that, I have truly been sugar-raped and need to go shower in bleach now.

jax said...

sorry to highjack the thread but looky here..Matt Damon,his family and a obvious pregnant Latino women all travelling together for the holidays.

http://socialitelife.buzznet.com

simone said...

"Hello Berlin!"

What a cute little robot! Awwww.

Shit, I almost got diabetes after reading all that. Ha!

DNfromMN said...

simone, actually, I think the sweetest thing is the idea of Suri getting mixed in with the "extra chocolate chips" and cookie dough. Honestly, that would make my heart melt, that kid is so damn adorable (and I hate kids).

Melissa said...

Jax, it's not so obvious to me. She could just be slightly pudgy with a pea coat on. Is there a pic in particular that you're referring to?

But good job on keeping an eye out!! :)

jax said...

would you like an ultrasound?

crichmond1000 said...

I thought there was a writer's strike going on. I wonder who writes this stuff for her. It must be someone from overseas. Someone who doesn't fully understand the nuances of American English and how strange the words come across. Sweet like pre-school television. The dialogue reminds me of the Telly Tubbies in a way.

GammaGirl said...

You know, normally I wouldn't comment on whether or not Frosty is close with her kids or not, but this really irks me.

My parents divorced when I was 12 and my Dad married someone 17 years his junior. She's cool; but NOT my mom!
Katie speaking on behalf of Tom's kids is inexcusable!

Irishstayc said...

LOL Yes Jax please and also how much she's dialated while your at it ok?? Hahahaha! Your comments always crack me up!

Irishstayc said...

Also - anyone see the word LOVE anywhere in this article?? They better check RoBo's chip to make sure she's not shorting out...

jax said...

here's another:

http://popsugar.com/gallery/195324/?page=0,3,0&show=large

i could be wrong..but isn't more fun when i'm right??? lol..i kid.

Possible it could be Lucy's sister..but i kinda don't think im far off with the Ben knocked her up, now Matt's employed here scenario. Remember the famous Oprah episode with B&M where they said each other was the guy they called if they woke up with a dead hooker in their hotel room?

Mooshki said...

Nicole said that she wanted to get pregnant so she could have a "real" kid, so this came as no surprise to me. I just hope those kids have a really friendly nanny, 'cause they sure don't have parents.

captivagrl said...

mooshki yes, and i also remember her saying that she was looking forward to becoming a mommy. she said this just after marrying keith.

Melissa said...

Jax, again - not seeing a baby bump. Seeing a curvy girl in a think coat. I'll take that ultrasound now, thank you.

Judi said...

They probably began calling her "Mom" after Suri was born, and she's trying to turn it into something more important than it is.
Katie's airbrushed? Look at Diane!

ana said...

"Nicole said that she wanted to get pregnant so she could have a "real" kid, so this came as no surprise to me. I just hope those kids have a really friendly nanny, 'cause they sure don't have parents."

Nicole does seem very cold. Poor kids.

califblondy said...

I think I'd rather spend Christmas with the Spears family


That's funny. ITA, a Christmas with the Spears' bunch would be a crack-up compared to the boring, by the book Cruise crap.

Kara said...

All that scripted sweetness makes me want to puke.

Mooshki said...

Judi, I think he meant Katie was entirely photoshopped into the picture - she didn't pose with the other two.

Majik said...

Katie looks like she's about to take a bite out of Diane Keaton's head...scary.

Guarantee that not one word of that article was printed without permission of the Scientology folks. It just screams middle America--garlic mashed potatoes, cheesecake, chocolate chips? An apple pie would have been far too obvious...

Same goes with Nicole's comment--she's still under the Tom's thumb (giggle).

I, for one, look forward to the book and/or movie that Connor and Isabelle decide to write. Same goes for MJ's kids, Prince, Prince and Blanket--although I'm pretty sure at least two of them will become completely psychotic and start peeling stray animals within the next ten years....

Judi said...

Mooshki, ah, okay. Thanks. I totally missed that.
Majik, LOL! And I agree that what comes out of all these kids in 20 years will be very interesting.

Merlin D. Bear said...

She's allowed near major appliances unsupervised?
Won't the microwave mess with the implant?

I'm just sayin'...

Psychoticstate said...

I think I'm going into a diabetic coma reading that b.s.
If "Tom's first two kids" love Katie so much, WTH are they? Have they even been seen with the most amazing and spectacular stepmom and her puppetmaster since the Italian shamarriage? And yeah, sure, some 19 or 20 month old is going to say "Hello, Berlin". Come on, people. Just admit that kid is over 2 already. I think next year, when she's taller than Tom, it's going to be hard to continue to insist she's still a baby, bottle and blanket or no.
I'm so sick of these two - - I cannot wait until the contract expires or is terminated.

Mia said...

lol @ peeling stray animals (not literally)