Friday, December 07, 2007

Ted C Blind Item

So funny. Last week, when we had Pricey Dicey in One Keep-On-Truckin' Blind Vice, out in the boonies, servicing truckers through a glory hole in a video arcade (this is no joke, really happened), teams of readers thought it was a certain actor. Well, it wasn’t. Nor will any guesses for this par-tick TV dude be included in next week’s elimination mailbag. That’s because he’ll, instead, be featured in this week’s baddie-boy Vice, too fun for the seen-it-all tum!

Tubby Pay-Stub, interestingly enough, shares many a kinky quality with Pricey-poo. Both men are respected, popular and fairly largely talented performers on the small screen. Both dudes are not exactly what one would refer to as traditionally good-looking. These are men who don’t always get the girl. Doesn’t bother Pricey in the least, as the dude’s a total pooftah. But let’s just say it does bother Tubby-poo plenty. That’s why he sometimes purchases his companions.

And TPS' currency factoid is amusing on a couple different levels. It’s no secret folks have, on occasion, raised a plucked eyebrow or two at Pay-Stub’s flashy-trashy choice of femme company. No one’s, uh, surprised, really to find out a few of these hons have been given mucho green to appear on TPS’ arm. And Tubby likes things that way.

Why, you ask? 'Cause so many execs, stars and jokers all the way around in this town have done the same. Charlie Sheen, anyone? Tubby just adores how all this ersatz cutie-and-cleavage to-do makes him appear one of the butch boys, in the end. Because—and you haven’t been reading this missive very long if you haven’t guessed what’s coming round the boy-toy bend—the hooker sensibility helps keep folks' snoopin’ noggins off the fact that Tubby equally (not completely, like Pricey, above) loves doin’ the dirty with the guys, too.

See, Tubby’s something truly rare in this town: an utter bisexual. He’ll sleep with anything. Actually, maybe that’s not so unusual, after all.

P.S.: We think Tubby’s boob-tube boss peeps are, like, totally in the know on this one, 'cause they already have the PR war plan in the works, should Tub’s sizable, and very innocent, audience start sniffin’ the truth.

20 comments:

donna said...

Zac attack?

Merlin D. Bear said...

Drew Carey.
Penchant for strippers and just got "Price is Right".

Chatty said...

I thought Drew Carey was Pricey Dicey?

sarah said...

Chatty, he's saying everyone thought last week's was Drew Carey, and this one reveals it's not, BUT. this one is Drew Carey.

hello kitty said...

Drew is known for his stripper loving ways.

I don't know why tc bothered to make this a blind.

kelly g said...

check out the and it's not. Jimmy Smits, Jimmy Kimmel, James Spader.

Kevin James?

Kara said...

All Jim's, Jimmy's etc.

I was thinking Drew is this weeks, and Pricey Dicey is ...?

I was wondering about either Kevin JAMES or JIM Belushi

captivagrl said...

"sizable, and very innocent audience".....Masi Oka (Heroes)??...with a PR war plan in the works he must be someone who's very popular right now.

meimei said...

Everything about this blind screams Drew Carey (TPS = TPiR?)... except for the "Jimmy" part, which definitely makes me think of Jim Belushi. Ted's comment about a "sizeable, and innocent, audience" isn't so much about the fans being young than it is about being naive (or Midwestern?) since they only know the character from the sitcom.

Kevin James would have been a good guess because of Chuck and Larry, but the guy is married with two kids... and even if he wasn't on the DL, it's not like he's got that much of a rep for cheating on his wife with ladies of the night. Or does he?

DNfromMN said...

Masi isn't seen with girls for pay. At events he's either solo or with the Heroes clique.

mngddess said...

"both respected, popular and fairly largely talented performers on the small screen" and "not traditionally good-looking"

that shouldn't be too big a list..

second one has to be Drew Carey: large size, very popular, "innocent" audience (Price is Right). It wouldn't look too good for the Price Is Right if it came out that Drew was a screaming bisexual.

I get the "Jimmy" clues, but James Belushi popular and talented? Really?

melissa said...

I think tubby pay stub is kelsey grammar. a lot of people in a lot of places guessed that pricey dicey was him as well. and drew carey doesn't strike me as gay, or bi, and he's apparently engaged to a nice girl...

I think this is kelsey for sure. it fits. respected talented tv performer. always dating or married to trashy women. and I could totally see him being bi.

becka said...

I don't have any guesses, but the "innocent audience" immediately made me think it might be someone who is currently doing some sort of children's show, or a large portion of their fan base is children, for one reason or another...

liveunderarock said...

I think Pricey Dicey is Wayne Brady.
The previous BI seemed to me to indicate he was not known primarily for acting and this one reinforces it.

Angela said...

James Lipton?

At least, he's a true Jim ;)

brendalove@gmail.com said...

Could it be someone who plays a character named James/Jim/Jimmy? I can't help with this one though...I'm not a TV watcher.

bionic bunny! said...

i know it doesn't matter much, but drew just got engaged a couple of weeks ago.
i don't see him being in the closet, anyway. he's been around for quite awhile, long before the PIR gig.

i hate ted. grrrrr.

Karen said...

Tubby pay stub is James Gandolfini. Sorry.

nursekelly said...

drew carey and james gandolfini. alot of stuff has been said about drew in the past, check it out.

sarah said...

Kiefer Sutherland.