Saturday, May 05, 2007

I Was Wrong But I Should Have Been Right

I dislike Paris Hilton as much as the next person, if not more. However, with that being said, there is no way she should have been given the 45 day sentence. I went back through my files last night for the past two years, and as near as I can make out I had three clients go to jail for violating probation by driving on a suspended license. Each of those three have been in and out of prison most of their lives. In addition, the driving on a suspended license was not their only probation violation. Finally, two of the three were given 30 days in jail, and the third was sent back to jail for a year.

Now obviously, Paris had several chances and warnings but so does everyone else. In most cases her probation should have been extended, her suspension reinstated, or she should have been given community service, or even a huge fine. If everyone went to jail for violating probation by driving on a suspended license and sentenced to 45 days then new jails would have to be built solely for these offenders.

Her only real hope for avoiding 45 days is to show up at the jail after there have been a slew of arrests. Say, right after Memorial Day weekend when the jails are extra crowded. I don't think she will be as fortunate as Michelle Rodriguez who only served two hours of a 60 day sentence, but I also can't see Paris serving the entire 45 days.

Friday, May 04, 2007

Four For Friday

1. So this celebutante made a Top 100 Sexy List. She was thrilled. She carried around the list for everyone to see. She told her agent that she wants more money for appearance fees now AND that she is entitled to more money than anyone on the list beneath her. When her agent said that was not going to happen, she screamed into her cell phone, "BUT I'M SEXIER THAN THEM." So you say, and now everyone at that Starbucks knows you think so also.

2. This aging former A list actor got his license suspended quite awhile ago and has about another year to go before he can drive legally again. He thinks he can beat the system and drive, but also knows he better not get caught. To try and appear less noticeable, our actor has an old beat up Hyundai Accent he drives around town while wearing a hat and sunglasses. **I don't think he's quite thought through the whole getting out of the car thing though.**

3 & 4. OK, this one is a little complicated.

--B list television actress on network show is married to a regular guy.
-- B list television actor on hit network (not the same as our actress) show married to a producer/visionary.
Our actor and actress shoot on the same lot. They met, and started having an affair. They also started hanging out with their respective spouses together. The regular guy and producer/visionary hit it off and started having an affair. Eventually all found out about each other. Fearing no one would understand what the hell was going on, they decided to keep it secret and stay married to their respective spouses. What they did do however is switch where they slept. Producer/visionary moved in with regular guy and actress moved in with actor. Got it?

Travis' 'Flowers In The Window' Video And 'Turn' Live From The Show ZX Went To



ZX IS Back And Better Than Ever

The movie that I'm trying to get the financier to back from the dinner party with Dad's Bags also has another studio bite and I suggested Joseph Gordon Levitt for the male lead. Now everyone seems to think that it's a done deal and the movie depends on me being able to convince him to do it. Since I only know him in passing, and it was MY IDEA, this kind of seems like I just shot myself in the foot.
So I called up our mutual friend whom I've known for years. The first time, I forgot I was on the phone because 'Suddenly I see' was on the radio and I got distracted and hung up. The second time, I harassed him. The third, I apologized for harassing him and said I wanted to hang out with him socially. Which is true because he's great, but I hadn't seen him in six months. Wouldn't you know it, I went to Swingers in the middle of the night and there he was. Providence. The Secret. One hell of a coincidence anyway.
The friend I'd brought with me decided that we shouldn't get fried chicken and french fries at 2:30 in the morning, so we got green salads but when I was on my way to the bathroom, I saw that some girl who'd obviously been on a DATE had ordered what we'd wanted and barely touched it. I barely resisted whisking it off to the loo to eat in private. When I came back, my friend was demolishing the girl's plate. Love him.
Went on another photo shoot. The photographer, LAST time I saw him, said "You look skinny," and I told him, "Yeah, I've been depressed." "Good job!" he enthused. I guess when you're used to shooting models, anyone under 5'10 or over 120 looks dumpy.
I mentioned in my last post that I'd missed Travis at Coachella and that a good friend had gotten me tickets to the San Francisco show. Well, with my propensity for planning, it started to look like a worse and worse idea. My Sacramento friend's boyfriend said she was having a crisis and couldn't come to the phone to tell me whether or not she could pick me up. Tickets on the web were jumping in twenty dollar increments before I could enter my credit card information, but I felt like I was looking a gift horse in the mouth if I didn't go. So I just spurred that baby on, "YAAAAAH! STOP EATING THE SHRUBBERY, STUPID!" And I got a ticket and went by myself. Almost missed the plane there and back.
Probably shouldn't have watched 'Vacancy' before staying in a cheap motel alone, and ended up giving my extra concert ticket to some broke college student and spending a bajillion dollars on taxis before I spotted a bus and thought, 'Oh yeah. People take buses.' It's actually a very relaxing way to travel if only I remembered exactly where my hotel was and not just that the bus stop smelled like fried chicken.
I thought I'd walk from the airport Travelodge to downtown, but am glad I saw the bus.
Victorian houses from said bus.
When my phone died, I was confronted and comforted by this sticker. This is a pay phone near Chinatown, S.F. and it looks like my bar code-in-the-wrist idea is not far off. Cheers!


The Travis show was terrific! My favorite song, "Flowers in the window," he actually played away from the microphone so we could all sing along and he was not in a position of overwhelming decibelic power. Then, at the end he said he wanted everyone to 'pogo' and the whole crowd was jumping up and down. Wish I were not incontinent and also wish I had brought another pair of jeans instead of just shoving undies and a toothbrush into my purse.

Ante Script: I made it seem in my last post that I still think it's funny to impersonate and take advantage of the mentally handicapped. I am sorry I offended everyone with a prank I pulled as a kid. I lacked the maturity to see just how cruel and mean it was, and I'll never forget it.

944 Magazine 1 Year Anniversary

I know. I know. But if she asked me I would have told her not to wear that dress. It's just not flattering at all.
Hey Alicia. See that strap over your right shoulder. Presumably it leads to a purse. Hopefully inside said purse there is a brush. Might want to use it. That's all I'm saying.

1. "I really thought we were supposed to bring our own lunch."
2. "The only food in this lunchbox are some very special brownies."
3. "Want a picture of the snake? Got em in my lunch box."

A typical conversation between Cisco Adler and Mischa Barton when they were dating.
"That's some good shit."
Fifteen minute pause
"Yep."
ZX loves his brows.
Yes, she is who she is, but she actually looks good. I said it. Kill me everyone, but she really does look pretty.

Kimberly Stewart...not so much. I think she and Paris just swap out extensions.
Would you want Laura Prepon pissed at you?
Stacy Keibler has apparently leanred her lesson and is being incredibly sweet to everyone she meets.
The Tonya Harding transition begins for Tara Lipinski.

Australians In Film 2007 Breakthrough Awards

Emilie de Ravin seems to be a bit distressed/stressed since the end of her marriage. Even I don't know what exactly happened in her marriage, but she hasn't looked will since it ended.
I want to say no to Isla being pregnant.

Although she looks very motherly next to Abigail Breslin.

Haylie Duff -- Kim Kardashian My Space Fight

So, I got this e-mail from Cindy and I'm really too lazy to go through and see if everything is what it says. There are lots of links so it should be a cool way to kill a Friday though, so have fun. I personally have my doubts, especially since Haylie is spelled wrong.

On Hailey Duffs Myspace she posted a blog bashing KimKardashian, saying:

"Stuff like this REALLY PISSES ME OFF. I try to reach out and be nice and instead it just gets shoved backin my face. This is why you should never move to Hollywood, the place is full of arrogant, immature, and offensive bitches who can't hold their liquor and can't keep their legs closed."

She also put like two screenshots of messages between Kimberly and Hailey and the messages are from Kimberlys official MySpace.

Hailey Myspace link: www.myspace.com/allscrewedup219
Kimberly Myspace link: www.myspace.com/kimsaprincess
Blog bashing Kimberly link:http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=59169862&blogID=260639018&MyToken=43d0218b-4735-45af-a102-6270779adfb5
I thought it was a fake Hailey profile at first but she has a proof sign and she's on Billie Piper and Kimberly Stewarts top friends.....that must mean something

Billie Piper: www.myspace.com/billiepiper
Kimberly Stewart: www.myspace.com/misskimberlystewart

If you use this information please credit Cindy.

More Links And ZX Later Today

Prison Guys Gone Wild



Angelina Jolie wanted to be appreciated for taking care of Maddox in the middle of the night so she got herself Brad. Honestly, we all want to be appreciated, but because someone was not standing there giving 24/7 appreciation she was upset? Ummmm. Next time don't adopt a child then.

50 Cent is selling his mansion. According to the realtor all the "renovations done since Mike Tyson owned it were all very tasteful, except the stripper poles."

Heroes And Entertainment Weekly Covers





MTV News Correspondence


Here's an e-mail I got from MTV.

Hey! I'm doing casting for a possible episode of True Life on MTV titled True Life: I Live Another Life on the Web.

Here is the casting call that is up on MTV.com:

True Life: I Live Another Life on the Web
Do you sometimes feel as if you’re living a double life? Are you pretending to be someone you’re not? Do you have one identity in your everyday life, but a different one when you’re alone and on-line? Does your virtual avatar make you feel confident behind your computer screen? Are you famous online but feel like you’re invisible in real life?

Do you have trouble approaching someone for a date in person, but when you’re behind the comfort of your computer, do the words just flow? Would you be afraid to be yourself if you were ever to come face-to-face with your online friends or companions? Do you get so caught up in the person you pretend to be on the web that you maintain that persona in person?
If you appear to be between the ages of 16 and 28, and live another life on the web, email us at:

http://us.f634.mail.yahoo.com/ym/Compose?To=weblife@mtvstaff.com with your story.

Please be sure to include your name, location, phone number and a photo, if possible.

I'm a big fan of your blog and was wondering if you are anonymous or if you know any bloggers who are...

Thanks!

Helene Sherr * MTV * True Life

**Now it appears Helene sent this out to all bloggers, and the last line kind of gives away that fact. If she read the blog one day, she would know I'm anonymous. So, I e-mailed her back and pointed this out.

Helene,

I will post your casting call on my site. I know several anonymous bloggers/readers who fit into your age range and who will see the casting call. Somehow I doubt you are a big fan of my blog, because EVERYONE who reads it knows I'm anonymous. lol.

Have a great evening.

EL


**Now, this is her e-mail back to me and she did a remarkable job of recovering. She should go work as a publicist.**

I was actually hoping that you'd read the call and decide that you want to be revealed on the show! I think that would make for a great story-line.. Anyway, thanks for all your help and I look forward to hearing from you!

Helene Sherr * MTV * True Life

Like I said, she recovered nicely, but I still don't think she's even read the blog. Anyway, I'm going to write her back, and I will let you in on the correspondence. Obviously I will not be signing up for this, but I know some of you who would be perfect for this which is why I'm posting it.

Morning Links

The publicists are out in force in the TomKat marriage. Not a good sign is it?

Prosecutors want to send Paris Hilton to jail. It won't happen. As much as we want her to be able to have even more in common with Joe Francis, it's just really unlikely. She'll probably get verbally reamed by the judge as opposed to the reaming she would take in prison. She may in fact get sentenced to a jail term but have it suspended as long as she completes the terms of her probation. She may also just have an increased amount of time on probation. Asking for a jail sentence is great publicity for the prosecutor's office, (remember the DA is elected) but in reality, she's not going to do time.

Liv Tyler joining the cast of The Hulk.

Alec Baldwin is going to skip court today. I wish I could. Honestly, I don't know why he's not going to be there. Yes, the lawyers will do the talking, but the first thing we say would be EL for Alec Baldwin who's not present today and so and so for Kim Basinger who is present. Who's making the greater effort?

Thursday, May 03, 2007

Gilmore Girls Canceled

Knew it was coming but you still hate to see it. Anyway, here are some clips and highlights from the show.

All the proposals from the show



Some random funny moments



Gilmore Girls on Ellen



All the German references from the show



There She Goes

Today's Blind Items

Let's stick with the A-List. This married Academy Award winning actress recently went into Bloomingdale's at The Beverly Center Mall. No big deal right? Well, she went to the men's section. No big deal right? Well she grabbed a package of tighty whities and a men's t-shirt, went into the changing room and came out with the empty packages. She paid for her purchase with cash and walked out.

More Links

Brad and Angelina in Prague. Guess those break-up rumors-- not so accurate. They actually look really happy.

Tom and Katie in separate houses.

Iggy Pop defends his penis. Uh-huh. Okay.

Kim Cattrall getting married again. So can we expect another sex education book from this marriage?

Video of Tobey Maguire slapping a fan who wanted a photo.

Kate Winslet In Raymond Meier Photoshoot





So I Still Love Andy Dick--Andy Just Loves Coke More

Andy Dick was caught snorting cocaine at a New York nightclub. As this exclusive Enquirer photo shows, the co-star of last year's "Employee of the Month" was openly using the drug in front of stunned patrons at Manhattan's Snitch club on April 24. The 41 year olds act was snapped by an eyewitness, who told The Enquirer: "Andy dick was a complete mess. He was so out of it that most of the cocaine ended up around his nose rather than in his nose." After snorting the drug, observers said he acted like a madman. "He began banging around the place, making a nuisance of himself," said the eyewitness. "Some of the other people on the dance floor were getting pretty worried."

Stoli Hotel Opening

I love Andy Dick. He's crazy, but I love him. His date is VERY brave.

Bai Ling now.
Bai Ling next month.Bijou Phillips has had some really good weeks, so I'll give her a break about this.

Devon Aoki got the good looks in the family.

"Yea. Paris is going to use all the rooms here, but at least I'll be first."

Get in Playboy, show up everywhere. Work that 15 minutes.
So, I know we are all tired of Paris Hilton. I am too. Here's the deal though. I think it's fine to post a photo of her if she looks really bad. I present to you the Paris Hilton looks like crap photo of the day. I pray to everything holy that she is just bloated here.

David Beckham's 32nd Birthday Party

You know what? David Beckham is a pretty good looking guy. Way too good looking for that thing he's dragging behind him.
I always though Geri Halliwell was the best looking Spice Girl and still think that.

So with Mel B and Emma Bunton in this photo that means all the Spice Girls were invited except for one. Do you think she cares? Don't you think Mel B looks pretty good for having a baby like a week ago.

Hey, at least mom wears a bra. Doesn't she?

Tori Spelling Doesn't Own The Inn

According to today's National Enquirer
Tori's not Inn Love with her Bed and Breakfast. In fact, she doesn't even own it!

Tori Spelling so doesn't own the bed and breakfast she runs with her husband on the show Tori & Dean: Inn Love! The pampered TinselTown princess and her actor hubby Dean McDermott actually rent the sprawling inn- and they're hardly ever there, sources say.

Tori has led viewers to believe that she plunked down her paltry $800,000 inheritance from her late father , the legendary Aaron Spelling, to buy the Chateau La Rue in the sleepy town of Fallbrook, Calif. But that is far from the truth. Tori and Dean are leasing to own the inn, explained the actress' publicist.
According to legal documents, the property belongs to Christopher and Patricia King, who have owned it for years. In fact, records indicate the four bedroom inn has been on the market for more than 300 days and remains active on a multiple listing service. The asking price on the 8-acre estate, also known as Oak Creek Manor, has been reduced from the original $3.4 million to $2.6 million. During the Inn Love premiere on the Oxygen network, Tori conducted a highly publicized estate sale at her Hollywood home, hawking all her worldly possessions to raise money to supposedly buy the 4,500 sq foot inn. But these days Tori and Dean are nowhere to be found on the grounds, according to an insider. And it's so odd at the inn. When you finally reach a live person at the desk, they don't even answer the phone like its a real business. I had to ask if I'd reached the Chateau.

Morning Links

I'm all for suspicious white powder photos, but even these seem a little lame. I mean we know Kate loves her coke and she did disappear for hours, but she also doesn't look like the type to waste any coke on her jeans.

Keira Knightley was devastated by anorexia rumors. Uh-huh.

That marriage lasted two minutes. Glad to know Jennifer is available again for me.

NY Daily News Blind Item

Which designer, regularly thrown out of NYC clubs for his behavior, just got bounced from a film set (where he'd dressed the 21-year-old star) for being drunk during a shoot?

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Today's Blind Items

So this A list actor owns a plane. I actually didn't know it, so I guess that means you can eliminate Tom Cruise and John Travolta from the guessing. Seems our actor owns the plane for one reason only. It's the only time he really believes he can get away with anything. No spies and only people he trusts for crew. Turns out this public goody-goody actually enjoys doing some coke from time to time and bringing in two or three "dancers" for entertainment on his long flights. Favorite game is to have them snort lines of coke off of him and he from them. Total debauchery from the time the plane takes off until it lands again. On a positive note, our actor does practice safe sex. Oh, I forgot to mention he's married, with child(ren).

More Links

Brendan Fraser going to star in a third Mummy. Also starring will be Luke Ford, who will portray Fraser's son.

Chloe Sevigny loved taking hallucinogenic drugs, but is scared to take cocaine. Actually, that's not a bad philosophy. I've never heard of anyone going through all their money by eating mushrooms.

50 Cent wants to work with Robbie Williams.

Nicolas Cage buys a house on the first ever circular street in the UK. Well, I want something more than that for my $8M. How about somebody running around the circle 24 hours a day to keep me amused? It's also 300 years old, so I think the fun thing to do would be to invite Billy Bob Thornton over and watch him freak.

Neve Campbell is getting married. Scratch her off the list of actresses who might be ZX.

Boots US Launch

Yeah, you better be smiling, pal. Even if Ali wasn't always at the top she would be here for this look. This is probably the best she has ever looked.
I don't show enough photos of Christina Milian. We need more fresh faces in the gossip world. The regulars are looking tired and old and I'm tired of showing them. Of course as I say that, Man Hands herself is at the bottom of this little lineup.

"Hi. I'm Emmy Rossum. I took the picture with the guy so he can brag to all his friends. Now give me my free stuff."

Two more fresh faces. Jill Marie Jones and Autumn Reeser.
The two foot tattoos are what really make this outfit.
"Hi. I'm Pauly Shore. I used to be famous and could get any girl I wanted. Now, I look like I'm one step away from being Jeff Conaway's evil twin brother."

"You can say you slept with me if you want. Who won't believe you? Hey, Boots is a drugstore... do you guys sell Valtrex here?"