Saturday Night Links- - aka I Have No Life

Actually what was supposed to be a great day that I had been looking forward to for awhile didn't happen because of some mussels. I got food poisoning about 4 years ago from some and vowed never to eat them in a restaurant again. Anthony Bourdain is 100% correct. Only eat them if you prepare them. Instead of joining ZX on an adventure, I huddled on a cool tile floor for about 7 hours straight. My boss interrupted my homage to death by telling me a client got arrested about 7am Saturday for doing a Lindsay. Yes, our client got arrested and Lindsay got a ticket. Anyway, the boss was in the middle of a golf game and couldn't get away. He told me I needed to take care of everything. I explained my predicament, but he explained he had been waiting two weeks for a chance to play golf and so I needed to suck it up. See if AP ever flirts with you or makes you smile again. ASS. So, food is not going to happen for me today or tomorrow or quite possibly ever, but I saw some interesting links and thought I would post.

Hey if I was married to Anne Heche, I think masturbation might be the safe route also. I don't have much to begin with and the idea of leaving it exposed for an length of time to this nut would make me extremely fearful. I think the fact her soon soon to be ex-husband did so is something to applaud and not something to be used against him in a custody hearing. Maybe he should have gone looking for someone on the same team as she did.

Visiting day at Promises for Lindsay is kind of like in Meatballs when Rudy's dad didn't come and visit on parent's day and so he had to hang out with Tripper. The fact that Rudy was also in My Bodyguard just popped in my head and is ironic considering the only one who came to visit Lindsay was her bodyguard. He also happens to get his checks signed by her so a little visit might not be a bad idea.

Katie Holmes has completed her transformation to the Dark Side. I can hear James Earl Jones in my head now. "Give birth and it will come." Two movies in one sentence. Kind of cool huh?

The Rock is going to see if the cooking is better outside of marriage.

Guess what? That's what. I crack myself up. No, seriously. Nicole Richie is scared of jail. Well I was down there today and I actually think she would do much better than Paris. Nicole is tiny, but strong. Her last baby came out sideways. I've watched way too many movies in my life as you can see. Nicole's not going to jail anytime soon with the caveat that she doesn't get in an accident or caught with something she shouldn't have. OK, so maybe she will go to jail soon.

Lindsay's not going to the MTV Movie Awards. There were better ways to cancel her date with me, but I do have to give her points for originality. Much better than the whole washing the hair thing. One car accident, lesbian lovers, coke, rehab. She really went all out to avoid our date.

Speaking of the MTV Movie Awards. I gave away my tickets after being rejected twice by the same person who then changed her mind after I gave them away. I will have a few readers there who will let all of us know what happens. In addition, my Oscar spy will be there and you know that will be really good. Monday should be busy with lots of photos, recaps, and of course the ZX reveal.

Four For Friday-With Some Help From AP

1. This reality star/celebutard has made sure to be on her best behavior the past few days. The way she has done this is by popping Vicodin like candy and smoking enough pot to make Snoop sick. The Vicodin is making her happy and the pot is making her eat. At least in her own mind everything is fine.

2. This A list married couple has an understanding. The understanding is helped along by the wife who would rather be with women. When the husband spots a woman he is interested in, our wife helps by causing a huge scene. Directly in front of the woman of interest, our wife, yells and screams at her husband and then walks out. The husband who has been nominated for Globes and Oscars then lays it on to the prospective lady and more often than not scores.

3. What happens when your mistress bumps her head on the diving board of your pool, gets knocked out, and is underwater for almost a minute before anyone notices? Well if you are this over 45 Academy Award winning actor you say thank you God for those CPR lessons that the former lifeguard now hooker and other member of the threesome was forced to take. She not only dragged the mistress out of the pool, but also gave her mouth to mouth and got her breathing. One or two more minutes in the water and this actor wouldn't have a career anymore.

4. Remember the TJ hooker blind item. No, not the William Shatner show. Although there really was nothing else on television those Saturday nights. Was it Saturday? Love Boat and Fantasy Island were Saturdays, and I know all three were on ABC. Anyway, our actor got his little vixen a work visa. Seems she is going to be a nanny for the actor and his lady. When you see the tabloid pics of the 20 year old Hispanic in the background with the kids you will have it solved.

Random Photos Part 2

Jessica Alba's nephew will be taking this photo to show and tell until he's 12. Gotta love the shoes.
I know they aren't a couple, but they are beginning to have that tendency to kind of morph into each other.
Jordan kind of reminds me of Tony Shalhoub in MIB.

You would like death also if you were locked in the cupboard beneath the stairs by your wife. I think we all are good at pretending. It will be our secret. Shhhhh.
"When I'm doing porn, nothing satisfies me more than vitamin energy."

"We wrestle. Come on."
"Wow. If you put one foot in front of the other, you really can walk."
We can't believe they want you to sign eithr Justin.
Jay Mewes all grown up and looks like he wins the award for most swag gained.
Photos courtesy of flynet, justjared, and buzzfoto.

Lindsay Lohan And Howie Day Romance?

Promises seems to be working its magic once again for Howie Day. During his last stint in rehab he thought he had found true love with Britney Spears. Unfortunately for him, she didn't feel the same way. Given a second chance at love in rehab, Howie wasn't going to let this one get away. He and Lindsay have been spending time with each other and really have a connection. A source at the facility says they are always together and are whispering and you can really see they have that special something. "It really could be love," the source added. Another source went on to say, "They both seem so happy and this is just what they both need. You can just see that they really want to support each other during this difficult time."

Even More Links

Mel B is going to be on Dancing With The Stars. I think they should get all the Spice Girls for the show.

Gwen Stefani's band and crew were told to get rid of their drugs before crossing into Canada. Hey at least they don't pretend they are clean.

Did you know Josh Hartnett had manly buttocks? Does that mean he has hair all over his ass or is it just the shape that we're talking about here?

Becki Newton and her husband met in a really cool way.

Lindsay Lohan and Howie Day together. Not really, but since they are both at Promises, I'm sure it's just a matter of time or at least the rumors. So, I thought we would start one here just to see what happens. The way dirt diggers work is to check the headlines and links. The next headline will be an experiment and nothing more. Let's see if anyone picks it up. Remember it is just a what if scenario. It has no basis in reality. Simply the kind of fluff that tabloids do to see how gullible we are.

Random Photos Part 1

By this point, I shouldn't even have to say anything.
Who wants to guess how much work LC has had over the past year?

Yes, Andrew. Here is Noa. Happy now?

As a teenager, there was no better combination than Cinemax and Rebecca DeMornay.

You better e-mail me back. Seriously. A week? Just because you got to be the big star in Cannes last week doesn't mean you can't take the time to write two words. And, no, not the two words I know you want to use. That's tough for me to do with my age and weight.

BlackBerry Curve Party

Even the bridesmaids thought it was too ugly.
I thought a mugshot got into the mix. I think Clifton Collins should give some tips to Paris.

I hate the hippie thing, but I am a HUGE fan of this short dress thing.

Star Jones has her blow-up Al doll in that huge monstrosity of a purse. Seriously. I have seen suitcases that are smaller than that purse.

More Links

Danny Bonaduce's divorce party. This guy doesn't need to be single. This is going to get crazy very quickly.

Speed Racer pictures.

Paula tries to explain why she's a freak, but really just makes everything worse and infinitely more confusing.

Star is really close to getting sued. (with photos)

Enrique Iglesias has insomnia. I would too if I broke up with Anna Kournikova. I would be tossing and turning and kicking myself for throwing her out of my bed. I know she is probably difficult to get along with, but it's Anna. Now that she's gone, no one will really pay attention to you anymore and you already said you have a small d**k so things are not looking so bright my friend.

ZX-St. Anthony Is Mad At Me

I am an idiot. It's confirmed. And Anonymous 3:14 or whomever was so nasty about my perpetual lunch break, I salute you. I was at a pool party at a girl's aunt's opulent mansion- I don't really know if we weren't supposed to be there, or if the aunt was just wary of the criminals who might inhabit her estate in her absence, but we were locked out and had to potty by the tennis courts. I don't mean cop a squat; This place was so posh, the more athletically bent had their own flush toilet.

Anyway, my friend and I convinced everyone to go bowling, and they said they would meet us there later. She had a blotchy face from too much beer and sun and I suggested we pop by the mall to try on some makeup samples. So we shot in there and were distracted by shiny objects- so many stores and interesting people on third street promenade, and by the time we were leaving, we were late and starving once again and bought two dozen Mrs. Field's cookies to assuage our waiting friends.

Got back to the rental only to discover that I didn't have my keys. Anywhere. Friend didn't have them either. So we called the friends who were thankfully just getting to the bowling alley, (which was closed,) themselves. I retraced my steps, but our whirlwind had covered about ten shops in as many minutes. I thought to myself, 'Come on, they're KEYS! They're the most important thing in the universe besides phones. Someone will see them and turn them in.' But no one did. Ever. The friends came by to laugh at us and eat our cookies, and ended up driving us home.

The next day, I called Enterprise and asked when I could pick up the spare key. "There is no spare key." Evidently, they keep all the spare keys on lock down in St. Louis. "Okay," I said. "Can I have them overnight it to me?"The girl started to get flustered and said, "St.Louis, MISSOURI," like she might've said Zimbabwe or Timbuktu and it was an impossibility. So I had to have a key made which costs hundreds of dollars and takes a long time and now have it rubber banded to my wrist.

Now, having admitted I may be a little preoccupied lately or have brain damage, all I'm saying is that if you got a hotel room and lost the key, they would magic you up a new one and tell you to enjoy your stay. So. Just don't lose your rent-a-key. Just don't. The Kiarrhea is having clutch/transmission problems, so my friend followed me as I drove it down to the Carson dealership, but it revved and choked and finally stopped completely one exit from the desired Avalon, so we Triple A'd twice in one day. The problem may not be covered by the warranty so my friend started crying and I took her to lunch and gave her some 1920's boots and perfume and a card. Turns out the man who sold it to her is a great person and is having it fixed. We're going to pick it up tomorrow, after the bed people deliver my bed.

My manager called me today and said he had "Good news," but then was in meetings every time I called to pester him. I don't think he would dare say good news wantonly because he knows what a rectal vortex I get in when I'm disappointed. I'll keep you posted.

Disney Couture Party--Seriously?

She may not be ZX, but Amy Smart still gets the top spot.
Didn't take long for Samantha Ronson to find a new victim? lover? user?

"Maybe if I click my heels three times I can get the image of Denise Richards out of my head."

"Nope. Still there."

Monet Mazur is another popular guess for ZX. I think Monet took the whole Disney/ 101 Dalmatians thing a little too far though.

"I can keep putting on makeup Maria, but you will still look like a man."

Adam Sandler and Quincy Jones find the "chair" that all men are relegated to during shopping.

Well at least Rumer is wearing a skirt. Michelle Rodriguez wears skirts also though.

Music Photos And News

Black Light Burns-The Vanguard-Hollywood, CA
Mika-Channel 7-Sydney

Nelly Furtado-Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino-Ft. Lauderdale

Pigeon Detectives-Virgin Megastore-Manchester, UK

Paulina Rubio-MTV-New York

T-Pain-MTV-New York

Mary Wilson law finally passes in Nevada. It's about time.

Today is the 40th Anniversary of the release of Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band.

MTV is bringing back Unplugged with The Police, Bon Jovi, Mary J. Blige and more.

Courtney Love and Linda Perry video.

Morning Links

You just know Jessica just kicks Justin's ass on a regular basis. Just like Cameron used to do and his mama still does as well. That's why the Britney thing didn't work out. Now, if he hooked up with Christina that would be good for him. The best would probably be Sarah Michelle Gellar though. She would have him happily whimpering.


Just forget about one son by trying to have another. Maybe having another child will cure the other. Does John Travolta really believe that if his son Jett works harder that he won't be autistic? That somehow the autism is Jett's fault?

Sing for George Clooney and you get $3M. Wow.

MTV Movie Awards swag bag. ZX should have waited and then she could have got her mattress for free.

Go get sick at a birthday party and earn some dough. Use that dough and make Eminem work for you forever.

Today's Blind Item

People seem to like music BIs as well as TV ones, so here's one that combines both:

This show has been a hotbed of drama since it began, and not just because of the juicy scripts, which usually involve plotlines about people who are not heterosexual (to tell you which gender would make it too easy). Because of its popularity, the show has attracted numerous guest stars who are either "out" or merely comfortable with a degree of sexual ambiguity. In casting circles, it has been something of a hot ticket. But of course, behind the scenes, the petty jealousies and rampant insecurities of some of the cast members have had the crew alternately walking on eggshells and rolling their eyes. So if you've ever wondered why a certain gay music icon has never had a guest starring role (and never will), it is not for lack of willingness on their part. It just so happens one of the more demanding series leads had a long term relationship with said icon that ended badly, and not only is the well-liked singer not welcome, the crew are under strict orders to immediately shut off the radio any time the singer's music comes on the air.

Still More Links

Last week Scott Storch. This week Reggie Bush. At least Kim Kardashian lets everyone have a turn with her.When you wave to someone it now means you're in love. That must mean the guy at the parking garage and I are life partners by now.

A contest to see who can shower the least. Keanu v. K-Fed.

Diesel Store Opening

Someone Kim Kardashian actually turned down. Do you know how disgusting you have to be before that happens?
Sorry you weren't on top Brittany. Alphabet and laziness were to blame.
"Yep. I had two hookers and coke all over their naked bodies. What did you do last night? Watch American Idol Recap?"
Seriously. Did I miss the hippie memo? This is becoming a trend I don't want and for which my aging body is unprepared. Ent is not a headband guy.
When you live with a poker player and 18 kids, grooming is not high on the list. Remember this guy was married to Shannon Elizabeth.
Christina Aguilera from two years ago.
Ludacris looks great.
I'm thinking her kid is going to want to breast feed until he is 12.
Speaking of breast feeding.
Sorry Taryn. You are not ZX so no need to tease with your pics anymore.

Fox dances off with Wednesday night

Last night's 2-hour So You Think You Can Dance was a clear ratings winner for Fox, despite a playbook that is now completely predictable to American Idol fans. Like Idol (which Nigel Lythgoe of course co-created), the "audition" episodes are always the most watched, and SYTYCD is once again showcasing the good, the bad and the disastrously uncoordinated. Unlike Idol, the judges rotate (all except Nigel, but it is his show), so even if you dislike one of them, it is unlikely you will have to listen to them the week after. Simon should be taking notes.

This year will feature the equally talented sister of last year's winner, at least one contestant with a prosthetic limb (no, not her, thank goodness) and lots of great looking bodies of both genders. And does anyone even remember who hosted the show before the lovely Cat Deeley? (Oh yeah, her.)

Bonus video below: this kid is sure to end up there as soon as he reaches the age of eligibility -- only about sixteen years from now.

Media abuse about substance abuse

This opinion piece in Newsweek by former First Daughter (and ex-wild child) Patti Davis is a unique perspective on the way today's celebrities -- male and female -- seem to be using rehab as an easy way to fast-track public forgiveness. I think the cat was already out of that particular bag, but the article is definitely worth reading. (Although, you know Dina Lohan is probably just going to skim it looking for her name.)

More Links

At least one athlete named Tony is still firmly in possession of his balls. For Carrie's sake, I hope it is just for football season.

Is this the answer to a blind item?

Unlike many celebrities, a cocktail dress and a nice bowler hat are not cheap these days. Especially not ones worn by movie legends.

Interview magazine is for sale, in case you wondered. (Interesting how popular that Lolita look is for photo shoots lately...)

I guess nobody was talking about Beyoncé this week, so she decided to "shock" us with her plans for... ten years from now?

A cliché, I know, but I am still glad to see Dr. Laura finding out what a bitch karma is.

Sasquatch Festival 2007 photos

Britpop artist Patrick Wolf at this year's festival at The Gorge, WA.
Bjork and friends
Canada's Neko Case made the most of the weather after a hailstorm cut last year's set short
Arcade Fire singer Regine Chassagne
Black Angels' singer (and Texas native) Alex Maas
Blackalicious' Gift of Gab

Ad Rock of the Beastie Boys

Photos courtesy of Rolling Stone.com and BrooklynVegan

Manson on Lohan

When this guy is passing judgment on you, you know you've really hit bottom.

(Source)

Morning Links

Oh, Lindsay -- it really hasn't been your week, has it? At least you still have one "friend". (And it's probably not Calum.)

According to Nicole, we should have known her Memorial Day "invitation to anorexia" was a joke... because it rhymed.

Mischa's not slowing down, despite her "allergies". (Think she'll be living the quiet life in the land of vodka?)

Manhands is about to get a new BFF, and a toilet that probably isn't coated in coke residue.

The good news: time may be running out for underage drinking "celebutards". I know this will please a lot of readers (and parents everywhere).

NY Daily News Blind Item

Which still-closeted former boy-bander was making sure nobody got pictures of him with his handsome Spanish escort at a recent European charity event?

ZX Hints

Amy Smart has two big allergy causing cats. No dogs.

Taryn Manning is one of ZX's favorite actresses. Taryn's father passed away many years ago.

Mandy Moore has size 10 feet.

Today's Blind Items

This lead singer from a holier-than-thou-art family has had at least three #1 hits. Friends and family were expecting wedding invitations to show up soon. They were right because our singer had been busy making plans with his 5+ year girlfriend. Location booked, preacher reserved, the works. But isn't it weird that, when the invitations arrived, the bride's name was not that of the girlfriend everyone knew, but that of someone they had never met? Many chose not to attend the ceremony out of disapproval. All was made clear less than six months later when baby made three. Our singer had made the quick switch of brides when his very controlling, behind the scenes father hit him below the belt -- in the pocket. Seems our singer had the choice of marrying the girl he had been secretly seeing or being disowned and losing out on the family money. He chose the former and poor girlfriend got left behind.

It seems enough begging and pleading kept most mouths shut while he played devoted husband and father for a few years, the adoring wife completely oblivious to the existence of poor girlfriend. However, when it became obvious to the rest of the family that he just can't stop his wandering eye, vengeful little sister let adoring wife in on how the elaborate shotgun wedding had been planned so quickly -- she was the only detail that was added at the last minute. Now, adoring wife has made arrangements to meet girlfriend. Whether it will be a cat fight or a pity party is yet to be seen, but it doesn't look good for our husband of the year. Do I smell "irreconcilable differences"?

Random Photos

I like Alyson Hannigan but this new hair color makes it look like she's wearing a wig and the t-shirt looks really used. Maybe she likes the smell. I don't know. Just saying.
Would you smile if you were married to Donald Trump? "Look at this honey. Even my crap is spectacular."

Maybe Kevin was punk'd.

Kyle's face looks like it is a foot long.

Kate Winslet on the set of her new movie.

The sister not going to jail.

Getting ready for arts and crafts time at the LA County jail. "How about making those license plates a little faster Hilton?" I now have the image of Ben Stiller in Happy Gilmore on my mind.

Don't we all go pick up pizza in six inch heels?

More Links

Quite possibly the world's shortest skirt. Quite possibly ingrained in my mind forever.

Brittany. You better check to see if those rings are real. Your gold digging may not get you much gold either.

Pictures of Lindsay at Promises.

Good luck getting the money Debra. In California, you rarely, if ever get what you are owed if a client refuses to pay. It's even tougher when you are billing a client for your husband's dry cleaning.

K-Fed has too much money and not enough brains.

Paris is too ugly for the world's most stunning heiresses photo collection. Hey she isn't even going to be the hottest inmate in her section of the jail, although I'm sure she'll have a chance to learn that up close and personal.

Video of the Vanity Fair photo shoot with Bruce Willis.

Punk Retrospective

A cool thing for a slow news day.

Billy Idol-September 6, 1979
Henry Rollins-August 31, 1984
Iggy Pop-January 1, 1980

John Lydon-January 1, 1978

Sex Pistols Last Show-January 1, 1978

Sid and Nancy-January 1, 1978

Sid Vicious Dead-February 1, 1979

The Clash-May 14, 1977

The New York Dolls-

The Ramones-January 1, 1977

Calum Best Loves Hookers And Drugs aka I was Lindsay's Boyfriend

In retrospect, this was probably not the best match for Lindsay.

Did Lindsay Lohan Try And Commit Suicide? Twice?

Star thinks so, and you know they never get it wrong.

Lindsay Lohan's shocking car crash and DUI arrest are just the latest disturbing incidents marking the troubled young star’s descent into drugs, drinking and, Star has learned two attempts to commit suicide! A close friend tells Star that during an emotional meltdown in NYC in the weeks before her May 26 bust, Lindsay screamed that she just wanted to end it all – and tried.

“She grabbed a knife and started cutting at her writs,” the insider reveals. “A friend made her stop and went around looking for sharp objects. Lindsay ran into the bathroom with a bottle of Advil.” (yeah that Advil is a killer.)

Crying, “Leave me alone! I just want to die!” Lindsay locked herself in the bathroom and threatened to swallow the entire bottle, says the source. Finally, someone broke down the door and saved the distraught actress from herself!

Just a month away from her 21st birthday, Lindsay has already done a stint in rehab at the Wonderland Center in Los Angeles . But friends say that she was partying right up to the disastrous car crash. (not just friends. I think the entire world knows at this point)

The wild night that proceeded it was a not-so-pretty picture of the star’s out of control life. She was spotted at Les Deux in Hollywood , where she partied with pals until 2:30 am. Then Lindsay headed to a private party reportedly at the Hollywood Hills home of Koi restaurant owner Nick Hawk. She was seen leaving around 4:00 am appearing completely wasted,” an onlooker reports. But Lindsay went to the Mondrian Hotel on the Sunset Strip. She was briefly seen in the hotel’s Skybar club before leaving at 4:45 am and returning to her condo, where, says a source, she proceeded to fight with her lesbian lover, Samantha Ronson, 29.

Friends say that the pair had been battling for two days. “Sam was at Lindsay’s on Thursday night, but they were arguing because Lindsay won’t acknowledge her as her girlfriend,’ says a source. When Lindsay got home, she fought with Samantha again, says the source. “At about 5 am, Samantha stormed out of Lindsay’s apartment complex off Sunset Blvd. “Lindsay came up behind Samantha in her black Mercedes. There was someone else in the passenger seat Lindsay slowed down and exchanged a few heated words with Samantha.

Samantha then got in the car, sitting on the lap of the passenger and they took off. About 10 minutes later, Lindsay crashed her car. She was speeding and lost control. An eyewitness tells Star that after the crash, Lindsay, Samantha and the other friend fled the scene. “Lindsay crawled out of her smashed car from the passenger side and ran over toward the house across the street,” says the onlooker. The security guard at the estate says Lindsay was “hysterical.” She started ringing the doorbell. Then, she and her friends left and Lindsay’s bodyguard arrived and drove the damaged Mercedes away. “Lindsay is on a reckless road right now, declares another friend. We’re all afraid she’s going to end up dead soon. She needs help now.”

In fact, just two days after the DUI, on the morning of May 28, Lindsay was found passed out in a car after coming out of Teddy’s nightclub, being comforted by none other than Samantha. Now, while reps for the actress says she has not attempted suicide, concern for Lindsay is mounting among those who love and care for her and believe that what she’s doing is tantamount to suicide.

Music News And Photos

Arcade Fire-Greek Theatre-Los Angeles
Deni Hines-Seymour Centre-Sydney

Kaiser Chiefs-Paradiso-Netherlands

Ne-Yo-TRL-New York

Andrew Llloyd Webber wants to write a musical with Eminem. That actually sounds like a great idea.

Johnny Borrell recorded a song done entirely with solar power for Friends Of The Earth. Now for the rest of us he should do something about Kirsten Dunst.

Tegan and Sara had their new record leak to the internet. They talk about it, and their upcoming tour on their MySpace page. If you have never heard Walking With A Ghost, click on it and you will be hooked forever. Just warning you.

Holy Crap Batman. Avril let her husband out of the house. I really did think she killed him.

NY Daily News Blind Item

Which celebrity handler just sent the following e-mail to a cosmetics company, accompanied by a shopping list of products they'd like for free? "I have a celebrity that I am working with who just had lipo. Her cellulite shows more now than before, she is very small so the cellulite is more noticeable, not happy. I thought it would be a nice treat for her to try out your line, in particular some of the products listed below. ..."

Morning Links

Bobby Brown's new girlfriend. It looks like she got herself tattooed on her arm. I guess she never heard of a camera.

Vomiting uncontrollably doesn't sound like much fun. As much as I believe that Britney hasn't given up the rehab inducing activities, this also sounds more like a case of food poisoning rather than drugs or liquor.

Usher doesn't like anyone saying anything bad about his man. I mean girlfriend.

Hey Montreal. Guard your children. Brad Pitt is in town and Angelina is sure to follow. They don't have a Canadian yet.

Tori Spelling is in talks to dance. For some reason I don't think it's pole dancing, but you never know what a show will do for ratings.

Today's Blind Items

ZX hint. Christina Ricci hasn't spoken to her father in almost 15 years.

Someone wrote to me and wanted me to share more singer and band blind items. The problem is that they are harder to describe. What can I say? This lead singer of a band...But anyway,

This lead singer of a band which has had several number one albums over the last two decades and recently reunited owns some trailer parks around California. Now, lots of people own trailer parks for investments so this is not unusual. What is unusual about this investment is that no one actually lives in any of the ten or so trailer parks he owns. There are plenty of trailers in the parks. Just no people. Well there is one person at each park. A man guarding the place with a gate and a gun. Seems as if our singer has a lot of love for the herb and converted every trailer in every park to grow his beloved herb 24/7. Although he has a medical marijuana card for personal use, this is a bit much. Whats more is that he has way more than even he can smoke so he ends up selling it to road managers of other groups who are hitting the road or passing by one of his trailer parks.

Random Photos

I guess Ashley Judd is pretty excited about her husband winning the Indy 500. Great photo.
Kind of looks like Courteney Cox is a ghost. Pale, no face to be seen really and the freakiest hands/claws this side of Paris Hilton.

I just like the poster in the background.

The Donald goes for the through the pocket adjustment.

And how did David Spade hook up with Heather Locklear?

Haven't seen much of Jim lately. Maybe it's time for Ent to move back into the picture.

The fun Gyllenhaal.

They look like two people who are supposed to pose for a photo together because of who they are. It doesn't look like either is thrilled with the other. Not as bad as Kevin Costner and Madonna, but definitely no love either.

I love Salma's shirt.

I don't know how old this photo is but Sarah Jessica Parker has a kid with what looks like a photoshopped head.

Singing..."You slept with Lindsay, I slept with Paris, next stop Nicole and Nicky."

Photos courtesy of flynet and justjared

Even More Links

Amy Winehouse's mom thinks Amy is too skinny. Hey lady. That is the least of Amy's problems.

Only two more Shrek movies to go. I think it's two too many but I'm an ass so what do I know.

Cameron Diaz won't have plastic surgery just to have it. There has to be a reason. I can give you about a million reasons. Does that count?

Maybe I will just write when Pete Doherty actually shows up for something.

Victoria Beckham showed up at a pub. Obviously either lost, wanting to show off her bra less chest to drunks at a bar thinking maybe they would care, or maybe she was filming her reality show.

Olympic swimmer Amanda Beard is headed to Playboy. No, not to work there.

Mischa Barton In Elle France

ZX-Syrians, Hula Hoops, Aliens And St. Anthony

My best friend had an assassin themed birthday party and I chose to go as Matilda from "The Professional."It did 19,000,500 at the box office but you'd be surprised at how many party goers had not seen the film. I had even chopped into my best wig to imitate Natalie Portman's bob, and brought a potted plant and a gun.


I went into my best friend's apartment building and got off on the third floor, knocked and rang the doorbell irritatedly, 'Come on people, if you're having a party, leave the door open.' A Syrian girl whom I'd not yet met, came to the door, and I smiled at her and breezed right past, into the living room. Hmmm. I didn't recognize anyone yet. Maybe out on the balcony. Nope, more Syrians. And they'd moved the couches- nice touch. "Are you sure you're in the right apartment?" asked the door girl. I just looked at her. I had a freaking GUN and a potted plant, hadn't even introduced myself, and marched inside SOMEONE ELSE'S APARTMENT like you only would if it were your best friend and you'd been there fifty million times.


WHAT?! I pressed two, not three on the elevator, DIDN'T I?!! Apologized, blushing and sweating and feeling a total fool, but all of them were very nice. When I finally found the right party it was awesome and boasted some extremely talented hula hoopers, I mean, it was like pole dancing with a hoop. Pole dancing is sold short as stripping. It's actually an amazing art form, and requires superior strength. Hats off to those who can hang upside down and slide down a pole, while still looking seductive. I think I'd be able to master it, but look awkward and anxious and probably crash to the floor. I get all my dance moves from Snoopy and Little Miss Sunshine.

ZX's best friend

I went to an appointment for a sci-fi script, which was at LAX, of all places, drove right past the address and finally parked my rental in short term airport parking. The meeting went fine until I compared the script to Alien and asked whom they had playing the main antagonist. The director said, "Lance Hendriksen." Oh. I don't know who that is. The director looked at me simperingly, "You know, the guy in Alien."Oh shit. I still had no idea who he was talking about." The guy who played Bishop.""Ooooohhhh! Yeah. He was great!" I felt like a total idiot. I have no appreciation for actors- I didn't grow up with TV since the time I was watching Mr. Ed on Nick at Nite and our twelve foot satellite dish took off down the mountain in a wind storm. He said that he was raised on TV and I said, "Oh, then we'll never get along," and left, feeling like a complete idiot.

The feeling was multiplied when I couldn't find my car, and realized with a wilting sensation that not only had I been looking for the wrong car for half an hour, but that I had no idea what the stupid rental looked like, except that the back was too high and had limited visibility when you were trying to reverse. Oh, and it was silver... Definitely silver. Rainman, why, why do you posses me? I prayed silently to Saint Anthony, patron saint of lost things, to whom I owe about thirty dollars by now. When I was at Olvera St., I bought a St. Anthony medallion, but I can't seem to find it.

GQ Vote For Your Favorite Icon

March 1962-John F Kennedy
September 1962-Cary Grant

October 1965-Joe DiMaggio

April 1966-Sean Connery

March 1967-Rock Hudson

July 1984-David Letterman

February 1986-Woody Allen

March 1989-Michael Jordan

November 1992-Bill Clinton and Al Gore

April 1998-Muhammad Ali

You can vote for your favorite here.

More Links

Shanna Moakler can't even complete a sentence, but is prepared to give advice to Lindsay Lohan. She also refers to Lindsay and Paris as members of the penis posse. So does that mean Shanna prefers Samantha? Obviously Shanna must be having trouble finding another husband to milk out of everything so she has lots of time on her hands. Actually I'm thinking of giving Lindsay a guest spot here in this space because either she or someone who pretends to be her responded in classic fashion.

im going to keep this simple and brief, like her career.
for someone who "doesn't really think anything of it" sure had a mouth load to say. don't blame "young hollywood" for your FUCKED UP relationships you old haggard. maybe if you fixed yourself up a little bit, you wouldnt be so jealous of others. you know, a nice face/breast lift, lost a couple pounds (40), got rid of the paris haircut, and found yourself a decent looking boytoy you wouldn't be so depressed and feel the need to comment on other peoples lifes that you dont know.
p.s. your kids are ugly.

A match made in heaven. Or heroin. Take your pick.

Adam Brody loves public sex.

Always get those child support agreements in writing.

Britney speaks or at least has someone write something for her on her website.

10th Annual Tiger Jam

The Tank in 50 years. Still wants to head down to the Quad though.
They both have been clients in the past so I have nothing bad to say about MC Hammer or Jimmy Jam

When Kevin James starts drinking, he forgets the alphabet. Actually when I've seen him drunk he also has forgotten his name, his wife's name, and the fact that he promised to pay.

These three look really pained and disgusted. Must have been a Denise Richards sighting.

Chris. Don't move your hand any closer to my lady Gabrielle. Although you do look good together.

Chris Daughtry looks like he's wearing a huge prom corsage on his shirt and from what I hear, I wouldn't be surprised if one of these guy's gave it to him.

Was a bachelor, still a bachelor, and will always be a bachelor. I was going to say something bad about Andrew Firestone being a bachelor but hey, he's rich and keeps dating hot chicks. I'm old, poor, fat, balding, six times divorced with 8 kids and really thinking about moving back in with my 90 year old mother.

Music Photos And News

Bonnaroo lineup finalized.

Solid Gold Dance Party hits the road again this summer.

Steven Tyler leaving Aerosmith? If Minka Kelly would ever call me back I would let you know for sure.

Justin Timberlake gets a record label. Now if someone would just buy him some different clothes. As many men's clothes as Jessica Biel has seen laying on the floor you would think she could help.


The Police-Vancouver May 28
Smashing Pumpkins--Pinkpop Festival--Netherlands
God I love Ginger

and Shakira too. --Shakira--Mexico City

Maroon 5 on The Today Show

The Cribs--Manchester, UK

Biffy Clyro, Manchester Academy

Morning Links

Parker Posey cracks me up.

We've been dating two weeks so let's go buy a house together. aka The Mel B story.

Lindsay and Hilary made up. Turns out though Lindsay may not remember it.

MTV will do or say anything to make people actually watch the MTV Movie Awards.

Joe Sumner got to open for The Police. Hey Joe, isn't your dad the lead singer of The Police? I'm sure you got the gig on your own merit though.

Today's Blind Items

One week from today, ZX will be revealed. So here is a hint. Ali Larter has a boyfriend.

So this A list couple but in reality B listers when it comes to movies, have employees just like almost every other Hollywood couple. When they hire a new employee that employee must sign a confidentiality agreement which basically precludes said employee from spilling everything they see. Well this Hollywood couple has some definite things to hide including guests who visit for fun and games and some kids who are not as well behaved as one would imagine. It turns out that a recently fired maid was reminded when she was fired about the confidentiality agreement she had signed and thus couldn't say anything to anyone about what had gone on in the house.

The maid said she had never signed such a thing and a check of the her file showed she was in fact correct. The person who had hired her had been filling in for someone else and had neglected to get the maid to sign the requisite form. Even though she had just been fired, the employer tried to get the maid to sign a new form right then and there. She refused. Immediately after leaving the house, her next act was to call a few tabloids to sell her story. When they realized she hadn't signed an agreement they jumped hard.

When the celebrity couple were informed of the impending scandal they were going to face, they jumped even harder. They first offered the maid a new job with a better salary, but she didn't want to go back. She finally settled for a cool $100K to keep everything hush-hush. The employee who failed to get the original signature was fired but can't do or say anything because they had been given the confidentiality agreement and signed it.

ZX-Because If I'm Going To Post On A Holiday, Then I Appreciate Those Of You Who Read It On A Holiday

This is not my normal computer for creating posts and for some reason, when I copy and paste ZX's e-mail the font is out of whack, so I hope it doesn't offend your sensibilities much.

Filming was awesome beans. Got there only to
be told by the director that the locations
people had just found out that they
could not discharge firearms after ten,
so my scene which was supposed to be first up
was now...

Well, they didn't know, but I could just hang
out in my trailer until further notice.
This is just the way it goes sometimes,
and I like being on set, so I chatted with
the teamsters and caterers and ate some pork ribs
and carrot cake and made myself comfortable.
Well, as comfortable as I could be with a
nine-months-ready-to-pop pregnancy belly strapped
to my stomach, which I kept accidentally
ramming into people and equipment.


By the ninth hour, after not having filmed a thing,
I was like, "Get this fucking demon spawn outta me!!!"
I guess if I can't take nine hours, I can't take nine
months just yet, but I think that nine month gestation
is just to get used to the idea of not being a selfish
pig and thinking of someone else's needs.
I think I will be a good mother as long as I don't
forget my baby on an elevator or lose it in a parking
garage.

Rather convenient that I got in two accidents in as many
weeks. The Nissan Lady is going to be alright after all.
I had waited with her after the crash, since her car was
totalled, for the tow truck driver to come. Apparently
the aforementioned tow truck bastard told the woman to
"Sue the shit out of" me, and when I called the wonderful,
kind Nissan Lady the next day to make sure my insurance
was taking care of her, she told me that he and everyone
else told her to go for the millions I don't have, but
I seemed like a "decent person," and this was the kind
of thing that could happen to anyone.

I felt a little dirtier about the cosmetic concealment,
but if she's going to be okay, which is the important
part, then I don't really need the
"shit sued outta" me.

I went to take my convertible in from the 16-yr.-old
-smashup and got lost on the way there, convinced
that Oxnard was an exit off of the 405. Well, I
couldn't find it anywhere and ended up being 45 minutes
late and the guy had already left for lunch.

Ordinarily, especially since it was my fault, I would
have just hunkered down with my scripts in their
waiting room with their free diet cokes, but I had to
get home to meet the OTHER adjuster who was coming over
to my house to photograph my I'm-an-idiot-smashup.

So I told the adjusters  "I rescheduled my work to come
here. I have to get back!" The receptionist was nice
enough not to ask what kind of fantastically important
work I could be returning to in a dog-haired covered
sweatsuit, but I could see it in her eye, so I
rescheduled the I'm-an-idiot guy and waited.

Finally, they rented me a car and I tooled home. The
adjuster took photos of the twisted wreckage and I
opened the door to let him photograph the airbag.

There, by the pedals, beneath a piece of the horn which
had ripped free due to the airbag, was the guilty lip gloss.
He snapped away.

I wonder how many pictures the insurance companies have of
wayward cosmetics. I am glad, however, that I was not
putting on mascara.

Random Photos And Links

A Denise Richards impression and a smile all in the same week may explode Angelina Jolie's head. Of course it looks like the other kids don't like being ignored. How come they can't play at the same time?

I'm just guessing that Dakota Johnson could party all of us under the table.

Take a shower and look ten years younger. Either that or Ben Affleck is slowly dying. Well he is married. Death may seem like freedom to him.

"Do you think you could have told me before we had sex and took a shower together that you thought the dog was more attractive than me?"
Photos courtesy of flynet, mavrix online, and justjared

So everyone is saying overdose for Mischa. I say she is not the overdosing type. She is a drug using fiend, but not an overdoser.

Everyone who reads this blog knows how much I loved Match Game. One of the things that made it truly special and unique was Charles Nelson Reilly. If you don't have the Game Show Network, then go over to a friend's house who does and watch one of the greatest improv comedian/actors.

$10M for an appearance at a birthday party and then you get "sick" from the food. Sounds like ZX found her enchilada in the bathtub culprit.

Lisa Ling got married. Is she still a celebrity?

It's tough for the paps to find you when you are roughing it in the wilderness for 3 months. Hey, but Hugh Jackman has a wife who is up for it.

Isla is pregnant. (scroll down)

Holiday Links With A Huge Hint

Not much in the way of substance in this article, but lots of photos of Britney.
You may want to read this entire column for a huge blind item hint.

As much as I loathe Dina Lohan, when all her ex can come up with is that she is ignoring the situation by staying home in New York and watching her son's soccer games while hanging out with her new boyfriend I must say it seems like a better decision than abandoning the younger brother.

To me it looks like a quesadilla and not mayo, fries, and a tortilla as the article indicates. One thing we can agree on though is that Travolta looks fat. Don't they have some machine he can hook himself up to and lose weight or some kind of detox center for whales. It also looks like he is getting his baldness sponsored now.

NY Daily News Blind Item

Never as easy as it seems.

Which Hollywood mother's idea of managing her daughter's drug addiction is that she now carries the cocaine for her?

Some Links

I was wondering why Teri Hatcher seemed to always be stained a nice shade of Merlot. (scroll down)

Kathy Griffin knows everything. Well at least everything about The View debacle.

Katie Holmes keeps bribing her film crew. Next week for sure will be L. Ron Hubbard books.

At least one singer is still actually sexy.

OK Buddhism didn't seem to work. Next idea is to wear a photo of the Virgin Mary on her shirt. Yea couldn't you see Paris having an immaculate conception?

Jack Johnson interview.

Evian Now Has Their Chance To Host Lindsay's Birthday Party

Svedka vodka pulled out as sponsor of Lindsay's birthday party. It's going to really suck if she was downing Svedka Friday night huh? I guess maybe they are realizing that maybe they shouldn't have said they were going to sponsor a birthday for someone who is probably going to be spending some more time in rehab. Well they can always sponsor Nicole Richie's birthday bash or maybe Robbie Williams or Britney. So many choices for excellent publicity.

NY Post Blind Items

#1 WHICH state legislator is about to come under heavy fire from gay activists because she's not supporting the gay marriage bill? They say that although her legal residence is in Brooklyn, she really lives with her lesbian partner in Manhattan . umm good luck everyone

#2 WHICH rehabbed starlet was in for addictions even worse than alcohol and cocaine? She's still battling a crystal meth habit .

#3 WHICH bald billionaire had friends worried because he was walking with a cane? He laughed off speculation he threw out his back while overexerting himself one night in the sack.

NY Daily News Blind Item

Hey at least he narrowed it down to Tony award winning actor. How many gay Tony award winning actors could there possibly be? Oh. OK.

Which Tony-winning actor and patron of rent boys could be included in an upcoming Off-Broadway one-man-show by a former hustler and porn star reflecting on his experiences?