Friday, July 27, 2007

ZX Update


One of the reasons Four For Friday was a little late was I was was actually talking to DS/ZX on the phone.

So a quick update on what she's been doing since I last wrote about her.

1. The visit to the potential in-laws went amazing. If I could tell you who the potential in-laws are, I promise you wouldn't ever leave this blog because honestly, they are about the most intriguing potential in-laws you could imagine, especially for DS/ZX.

2. After her return from the in-laws she went to Istanbul with her sister to promote Fall Down Dead for a week and she managed to get on the cover of 27 Turkish newspapers simultaneously. Who knew they had that many papers there?

3. She then got back to LA and then went to New York to do some extra shooting for Capers which comes out later this year.

4. She is back in LA now and is trying to finish a script she's writing.

5. She also told me she has a post she is going to forward that she wrote within the past two weeks or so but was afraid to send it because she didn't know if you were still interested in her or not. I told her that EVERYONE is still interested.

That's it for now.

Four For Friday

I just want to encourage you to keep commenting on the mystery actress post and convince her to do it. I would move it up to the top of the blog, but I already sent her the link and so I don't want to mess that link up. Of course if I still had anonymous commenting there would be 500 comments but half of them would be wondering if her legs were real.

Also, I've noticed in the comments on some of the BI's lately that someone will make a statement saying they saw something or heard something so it couldn't possibly be the other person's guess. Ummm, you may want to review that kind of thing before giving up.

#1 This B list television actress on a hit show just had a physical for a movie she is about to star in and complained about a problem to the doctor. Turns out she has herpes. Turns out her very serious (as in relationship) guy didn't share that fascinating tidbit with her and she FREAKED out at the doctor's. No word on what happened on the homefront.

#2 The funny thing is this B list couple are going to stores together and buying things for his boyfriend's home not his home or her home as they want everyone to believe.

#3 I'm not really one for royalty blind items because I don't know any, but I do know that recently there was some royalty that hit the OC hard. (you can take that however you want, but I don't think they were physically hanging out at Laguna Beach.)

#4 Quick but dirty. A list actress, maybe even A+ no discernible boyfriend, but definitely pregnant.

Almost Naked Men And Some Links

For some reason, I can't get the photos of these half naked guys modeling swimsuits on a runway to show up within the post, so you will have to click if you want "review the fashions."

Pajiba has a great article on Citizen Kane. It's kind of long, but worth it if you get the chance.

I always say it's a slow day when you talk about mediatakeout, but Celebitchy has filtered out the nonsense of this particular story and left in only the good stuff. I hope my Jessica Alba stalker doesn't read it though because it's about her and 50 Cent with pictures.

I'm just glad I'm not the one who had to write about Beth Ditto being a sex addict.

Popbitch Blind Item

This Hollywood director of a summer blockbuster likes nothing better than getting a large bag of cocaine and picking up young women, usually in the company of another hard-partying, journeyman movie director. Blockbuster-chap likes the all-American look, while his friend will only go for very young Asian women.

Random Photos Part One

I know you must have had something better to do than watch your Cheap, no tip leaving bitch of wife spend more of your money.
Come on Queen. Push her down the stairs. You are a big woman and she is tiny. It's just an accident. No one will know. She's just teetering on those 8 inch heels right at the edge of the steps. Maybe David will catch her and maybe he will think to himself this is my chance. Go ahead. Why not? The Spice Girls will sell more tickets because they can turn it into a tribute concert and make more money because they won't have to give any to Posh. I'll even represent you for free. And if I lose and you go to jail, you can beat up anyone that comes your way. I won't ever talk about you and your trainer again if you just push her a little.
Not the kinds of bat and balls John is used to.
He's filming a movie. He could actually give a crap about the Mets.
Speaking of giving a crap. You would think your husband would get wise, but I guess not.

A little tan line from the J-Lo. I kind of like it. I don't like the leech on her arm, but the rest is ok.
If this was anyone else we would ask what the hell was she smoking before she came to the premiere.
The only other celebrity at the premiere was their minder Leah. I think she's just their permanent shadow and then she gets on the Tom (that's Scientology speak for phone. Yes, you didn't know Tom invented the phone? He did, so they named it after him) and he gives her the next instructions.
Ok, the leech and her must have been smoking something.

Tired Of The Triumvirate

So all day I've been thinking I need to talk about Britney and her troubles in Vegas or Lindsay and her carjacking or even Paris and her 354th new dog. But honestly, I'm tired of the three of them. I haven't checked the labels to see how many times I've written about them in the last 9 months but I guarantee they are there the most. I would much rather rant at Posh or look at Isla Fisher being pregnant photos but honestly, all gossip sites see a huge spike when you have something like Lindsay getting arrested.

It's cool to write about the arrest and the drama that follows but then it just goes on and on and on and then she will probably show up at a party this weekend and then the speculation will be about is she drinking or not and Britney will have a breakdown and flash her boobies to the world and have sex in the lobby at the Westward Ho (insert own joke there). Paris will no doubt try and convince the world who watches Larry King that she's reformed and helping out children's charities and People will be right behind her with their knee pads while the rest of us know she's off doing drugs and still being Paris.


I don't want you to think I'm ignoring the Paris and Lindsay and Britney triumvirate today, but I just don't feel like I have anything to add to what the other million gossip sites have said. Whenever I write about something I try and find the one angle that has been written about the least, or not at all like how did Lindsay put on someone else's pants and then run out to the truck fast enough to get in and chase the assistant? Remember, it has to be someone else's pants because the coke found in the pants isn't hers. The pants above are what she was wearing a few hours before she got arrested. What pants was she wearing when she did get arrested? I guess it's possible that one of the guys in the truck or the guy she ran over with the truck could have reached over to her and stuffed the coke inside her pants because coke in your pants is just a party waiting to happen. Speaking of those guys. They are the most boring guys in the world. I watched that damn TMZ video last night about midnight and it was better than my best friend NyQuil.

Britney is just one mess after another. Have you ever been with kids in Vegas? They don't mix. Sure people pretend they do by saying nice things about Circus Circus and the theme like hotels, but really its about adults going out getting drunk, having lots of sex with their significant other or a stranger and losing your rent money because the guy throwing the dice works for the casino. So she starts off with kids in tow and then goes to the Wynn which just gives me the creeps anyway. You know heebie jeebies? I get them when I go there. But then I'm a downtown kind of guy anyway. I know what I'm in Vegas for and unless I'm on a weekend date with someone I'm trying to impress, there isn't going to be any Mamma Mia or Circus of the Sun.

I just can't understand why she doesn't want to stay home if she's going to be with the kids? If she wants to go to Vegas, then fine, go and have a great time but why take the chance on your kid getting hurt (which he did) by bringing them along when you know you are going to be swarmed? Leave them with their dad, don't violate court orders and then you can relax and go and get naked and marry your brother. That's what Vegas is for. Right Angelina? (Satire people. It's satire)

Hot Rod Premiere

Baby Borat on Board
But Isla looks really great.
Speaking of looking great, Jane Seymour looks fantastic for 56 and is giving Bernadette a run for her money.
Andy Samberg with a chance at a date

Andy Samberg with no chance at a date.
I love when they pose them in front of the Baja Fresh sign because then there are so many comments you can make. How much does Baja Fresh love that sign where it is and all the publicity?
This photo and the one above are Courtney Hansen. Did you know that? I didn't know who she was which is why I find it incredible that they always do this blowing kisses pose. Who are they blowing kisses to? There are like 10 people who watch the show she hosts on Spike TV. I have nothing against Courtney and she is very beautiful, but it just always kills me when they do this blowing kisses thing.
Damn I need to watch some SNL videos this weekend.
You think if Paris Hilton was there she would push Sarah Silverman into the street or would she try and sleep with her?
Would you believe they are brothers? Yes, I thought you would.
Shia just gets tougher and meaner looking everyday.
Speaking of tough and mean, I think it's a tossup between Alexis and Rosanna on who looks better as a woman.
I have no idea who Michelle Borth is, but I think she's hot so I put her here. Hey, it's Friday and you know I have some special guys for you on Fridays, so stop griping. I get what I want and you get what you want.

Music News And Photos

Lauryn Hill - Heinekin Music Hall - Amsterdam
The Automatic - fuse Studios - New York

Marc Anthony - Cipriani 42nd Street - New York
DMC - The Plumm - New York
Sugarland - Good Morning America - New York

Scissor Sisters - O2 Arena - London

Red Cafe- Private Studio - New York
Kat De Luna - Party On The Beach - Huntington Beach, CA
Some more dates have been added to the Spice Girls tour including Vancouver Hez. I must admit I registered under about twenty different e-mails for their LA and Las Vegas concerts.

So last week there was that quirky music video I played after I posted their photo. This week I posted a photo of The Dollyrots and listened to their CD last night. They remind me of a happier Mary's Danish with a little Blink 182 thrown in for good measure. They probably see themselves differently of course.



So I Need Your Help


I have found someone who I think will be great for the next actress revealed mystery. Unlike with Dominique I'm planning on doing something a little different this time around. This new actress is extremely well known to all of you even if you don't know it.

The plan is to let all the readers ask her questions although I don't know if that's going to be to help determine her identity or if they will be for after.

However, none of that will be be relevant or even matter if she turns me down. I had to remain anonymous because you know that's what I do. Even though I know her, I approached her anonymously and so she wants to know who I am first. I hesitate to do that and so I'm hoping that through your MANY comments today you will convince her to participate. Once you figure out who it is, you will LOVE asking her questions.

So please comment away today and convince her to participate or I will have to let her know who I am and then there will be another person who knows and I would really rather avoid that. I know I can trust her but what if I get drunk one night and make a move on her and then she gets pissed and comes on here and just reveals all. You just never know.
I won't give her any initials yet. I'm still thinking of what would work the best. You either are going to get her quickly, or not without many questions. I haven't figured how you will do yet.

Nicole Richie Gets Five Days


Nicole Richie was sentenced to five days in city or county jail today. Five days is the minimum you get if you are convicted of a second DUI. Because she spent so long in the lockup when arrested, the judge gave Nicole credit for time served and so she is left with just four.

Nicole looked great and also looked very pregnant, although it could be just the fact that she actually has gained five pounds.
DS would be proud to see Nicole rockin' the Laboutins and Joel actually owns a suit. Who would've thunk it?

"I Know Who Killed Me" Review From A Reader


This is something I've been thinking of doing for awhile and DNfromMN put this review in the comments yesterday and I thought it would be a great start. If any of you want to review a movie, do so and e-mail it to me and I will post it. You can review it in any way you want and say anything you want and vent and rant or just gush and gush. So without further ado, the first review.

I got a free preview to I Know Who Killed Me. Hey guys, just got back from an early screening for this movie. I had high hopes that Jessica [Rose-Lonelygirl15] would rise above what looked like a bad movie. Unfortunately, she has about 5 lines, and is in the movie for I would guess less than 10 minutes. She's not even listed in the opening credits.

What's even worse, is that the movie is HORRIBLE. Admittedly, I'm not the target audience for this movie (late 20s, male, midwestern), and I like to think I know enough about film to get me through the day. I am the kind of guy who even if I REALLY have to pee, will wait until the end of the movie and book it to the restroom. I didn't care, I went, and I didn't miss anything except some of the stripping stuff that we saw in the trailer.

There isn't an in-focus shot in the whole movie, and the script is horrible. The entire audience laughed at the big scenes at the end of the movie. They weren't supposed to be funny.


In my teens, I watched many a bad direct-to-video movie and this has all the hallmarks.

Star who should be the highlight of the film: Lohan (check) Lonelygirl15-Jessica Rose (check)

Fading stars: Julia Ormond (check)

TV actors who you'll recognize but probably not remember their names: Neal McDonough ("guy with those intense blue eyes and bad blonde dye job" check), Paula Marshall ("girl who looks like Janeane Garofalo, but isn't as PMS-y" check)

Poor production values: the aforementioned out of focus camera, and (not yet mentioned) bad lighting (check)

Cheesy script that uses all the cliches: I won't give out any spoilers, but (check)

Gives away the ending by the end of the first half hour: If you pay attention to what people say and do (check)

This is clearly a wait for the cheapy theater, video, or youtube movie. I'm sorry to drop the bad news everyone.

Ted C Blind Item--Today 20 Questions About Toothy Tile

Look, everybody, I was going to tell you all about a certain Morgan Mayhem family member who, just like Morgy, is getting hugely wasted more often than she burps overpriced champagne, but, like, whatever, ya know? No big ser-prize there.

So, instead, due to an overwhelming demand for all things closeted and Toothy Tile, we’re going to round up all recent clues provided for our limited-run special 20 Questions and give ya another fab clue! Ding ding ding! Hot fun for the same-sex tum, huh? Now, keep in mind, for those of you teething for Tooth, we’re not even friggin’ halfway through the 20 queries, but thus far, this is what we’ve previously let out, as it were:

Q: Was he on Dancing with the Stars?
A: No. T2 is a talented thesp who's way above reality TV, trust.

Q: Are Toothy's initials in the first half of the alphabet, or the second? FYI: I'm asking about his real name, not pseudonym, so no tricks please.
A: No.

Q: Is Toothy known to be an animal lover?
A: Uh, yes, but isn’t everybody (or at least pretending to be) in this hairy town?

Q: What happened to Baby Tile? Did Toothy and B-F Tile have the kid, or did they give up on the idea of becoming dads? Are they still together and superdomesticated?
A: Give the nonnuclear fam time, doll-babe.

Q: Is Toothy Tile known to be athletic?
A: That, my dear, depends on your definition of athletic. He can hold his own, how about that?

Q: Is Toothy Tile Isaiah Washington?
A: Wrong bum-lovin’ boy. Think younger, cuter ‘n’ sans snarkiness.

And for all you unleashed types doggin’ for the good-lookin’ dude’s identity, here are two more newbie inquiries to get ya through the weekend. Now, keep the questions burnin’!

Q: Has Toothy Tile ever been nominated for or won a major American award?
A: For Best Kinky Performance in a Parking Lot? Why, yes! By the West Hollywood Sheriff’s voting academy, actually!

Q: Why is Jennifer Aniston the only woman Vince Vaughn has been linked to in the tabloids? Is he Toothy Tile?
A: No. He’s not nearly agile enough. Certainly not for the back-seat seduction game.

Thursday, July 26, 2007

Afternoon Links

Naomi Watts FINALLY gives birth. Would you believe it was actually early? I say it because I don't know the sex yet.

The Lindsay 911 tape from the chase.

Rumer Willis involved in drug bust.

Britney may have violated her custody agreement.

Tom Cruise extortion plot. Your federal tax dollars at work.

Paris was doing drugs the other night. Maybe that's why she wanted to see what Cisco was offering. But how could Paris be doing drugs? She's never used them remember.

The cheap no tipping bitch and the evil EL ate lunch at Chateau Marmont. Two reasons to spit in the food or if we're really lucky the waiters pulled a Road Trip. I want to know if they left a tip and how much it was.

Today's Blind Items

So this former A list teen television and movie star of the 80's is basically out of money because of a stale career and a serious drug habit. The only thing he has left to sell is his house. So, he calls a real estate agent and she comes over to look at the house and decide what it's worth. Well the first one is there for all of about five minutes when our actor starts hitting on her and trying to have sex with her and she basically flees. After many apologies, the broker sends over a man this time and he walks through the house. The house is in a great location and should sell for $4 or $5 million IF it was in good shape. The problems with the house are (a) multiple sections of the wall show fire damage from freebasing incidents gone bad (b) one of the second floor bathrooms has no floor because one night our actor got drunk and thought about putting a fire pole from the 2nd floor to the first and basically took a sledgehammer and knocked it all out. There is a door, a toilet and a tub. No counter or floor anywhere else. (c) The kitchen is covered in mold. The floors, the walls, any exposed surface are covered in it as well as rodent droppings and roaches everywhere. (d) the entire house smells like death and rehab. While the agent is walking through the house, our actor is doing one line of coke after another and keeps offering the agent one and is getting more and more offended that the agent will not share or participate. He then starts thinking the agent is actually a policeman and goes to find his gun. (Why he would get his gun if he thought it was a cop is beyond me) While looking for his gun, the agent gets the hell out and no one has been back. Meanwhile, people do sometimes hire this guy for work, but only enough to keep him in drugs. (Not the Corey's although I wouldn't want to go to their place either)

Random Photos Part Two

Kate gets first place today because she's directing her first movie. Plus she looks cute, but lonely. Call me. I feel like the Jessica Alba stalker who keeps sending me e-mails with his phone number on them like I'm Jessica or something.
Sorry Molls you get 2nd today, but you look really cute.

Scarlett just spent $8M on a house and she can thank Woody and his love for her for much of that. This is her on set filming her new Woody Allen movie.
Anne and her date. They go well together. It's like vanilla with an extra scoop of vanilla.
Be nice to Haylie day continues. Now that Hilary has that rich hockey player she's doing maybe Haylie will get out on her own. Haylie is going to be the lead in Kentucky Fried Movie. Yes, they are remaking it.

Realize please that this photo of the Corey's was taken at 7am. Think they've changed?
Bono and Penelope sitting in a tree (ok, the beach)
Bono and Penelope again at night. I'm noticing a theme to Bono's shirts.
Adam Sandler on the set of his new film.

So, I know you have no idea who the guy next to Adam is, but it's Robert Smigel. He does all the writing for the SNL cartoons.
Paris got another dog. Yes, seriously.

Waiters And Waitresses Promise To Spit In Victoria Beckham's Food


Hey Posh, you are in the US now. Over here in the US we like to tip the fine people that bring us our food. The fact that this has morphed into having to tip everyone from the dry cleaner to the local Blockbuster store employees is irrelevant to this discussion. The people that serve your food and listen to you complain about every last item on the menu deserve you doing more than dashing out the door to your Bentley while stiffing them on the tip entirely.

You weren't just being a cheap bitch and leaving 10% or some small change, you totally stiffed them. After they slaved for you and your petty demands for TWO hours and had to look into the vacant eyes of Katie Holmes for the same period of time as she mumbled "Tom is good. Tom is good," the least you could do is tip 15%. With the $25M a year your husband makes and the $20M you are getting for the Spice Girls reunion, you should be leaving bunches more than 15%.

Then, to make matters worse, the waitress who was rightfully pissed went after you to call you the worthless cheap bitch you deserved and was manhandled by your security staff.

You have pissed off not only the staff at Asia de Cuba but, the entire serving community here in LA and you may want to investigate thoroughly every morsel on your plate before eating. I also encourage you to tip in advance and to go back to the nice waitress you stiffed and give her $1000 or so and naked photos of your husband.