Friday, August 17, 2007

Chuck Is Ruining My Life


Chuck is a television show created by McG that is filmed, on what seems to me, a 24/7 basis. Chuck and a crew of hundreds moved into my neighborhood about three weeks ago and don't show any signs of leaving. Usually filming is a one day thing, maybe two, and then the trucks, trailers, strippers and crowds leave and things get back to normal. This is not the case with Chuck. The film permit they are required to post in the neighborhood prior to filming stated they would be filming one scene involving a gunshot. Unless this is a Heaven's Gate redux then this has got to be the longest scene in the history of time.

For three weeks this production has used up several blocks of street parking 24 hours a day. So now what was a 5-10 minute search everyday to look for a parking space has become a 30 minute search, a three block walk, and a return to the car by 7am so it isn't towed away.

I'm all for the film industry in general, filming in LA instead of other countries (not including Canada which no one in the US considers another country for filming purposes anyway), and it does ultimately pay my salary so I don't complain about it much. But, I want this show to find a different home because it's hot, I'm old, weigh 400 pounds and I don't have an umbrella guy following me around as I trudge up and down hills with hundreds of other residents as we try and make the long journeys to our cars, if we remember where we parked them that day. There are actually people out on the streets now selling drinks to residents because the walks are so long. McG has more money than God and a backyard larger than many states so if he loves this project so much, he should just film it there.

Did I mention that they have an entire two blocks of a great cross-street also blocked off so that all traffic comes to a halt because instead of two streets for traffic there is now only one.

Today as I drove past the set dumping my trash, and doing my usual yelling in order to disrupt a scene, I noticed a new sign for a show? film? called Steve. Two one name shows? In the same location? This doesn't look good.

Four For Friday

#1 In front of Yamashiro last night, this female singer who was wearing even less than in her music videos was doing everything but taking off the rest of her clothes in order to get a music producer to take her for a "ride" in his brand new red Bentley. Her approach consisted of much bending over (clearly showing what she was bringing to the party), using two fingers and her tongue to suck on a mint, and clearly explaining how important fresh breath was in her life. Her fellow female band member looked really uncomfortable and the producer ultimately turned down the offer. The two singers left in a very cheap rental car but not before they stiffed the valet. When the singer's was asked by her fellow band member why she wasn't tipping the valet, the singer was heard saying, "looking at my body should be tip enough."

#2 This former A list action star was recently out in public and no one was paying any attention to him. He whispered something to his son, who then shouted out, "look, it's ______." Soon there was a crowd around the fading star but he claimed he was too busy for any autographs.

#3 This B list film actor used to be famous for who he was with and now just can't get any respect. Recently he tried to get into a nightclub by moving to the front of the line. Neither doorman recognized him and was told to to the end of the line. He then pulled out his cell and called some of his friends inside the club to come get him in. After explaining for 15 minutes who he was there was still not entry. Then one of the friends mentioned the ex and the doormen opened the ropes immediately.

#4 This A list director was at a recent after party for his new film's premiere when his wife got a little crazy and started screaming and shouting at friends and strangers. She then got up on a table and started taking off her dress before her husband managed to get her down. The next morning she was put into rehab.

Random Photos Part One

The parking enforcement officer is obviously not a Heroes fan. I on the other hand would like to take the time to just say how much I respect the work of the parking enforcement authority and the professionalism and pride each of you take in your job. I also appreciate you not ticketing me this morning when my car extended into a red zone by two feet or so.
This can't be Esai Morales. He looks better than he did 20 years ago. I need to have some work done or something.
Debra Messing..blah, blah, blah,. The reason I posted this photo is to give you, my female readers, the opportunity to start bugging your significant others right now for your Christmas present. Debra is standing in the new shoe department at Saks Fifth Avenue in NY which is so big that it actually was given its own zip code.
I want that suit. Then everyone else can fight over his body.
Will Smith plays golf with just three clubs. My kind of golfer.

Like I'm going to pass up a chance to post a photo of Shakira.
I have to tell you that Sandra Bullock looks like a mess.
Two nights in a row Mario and the Panettiere family have been out together.
Yea, that kid isn't confused.

Well It Was Bound To Happen

Those Vaness Minnillo hot tub photos. They came out. Toxic Magazine got them from some Spanish language magazine and now they are finding their way across internet land. Here is the link to one of the full frontal photos of Vanessa. (NSFW)

Britney's Lawyer Quitting Would Make Things Interesting


TMZ is reporting that Laura Wasser is about to resign as Britney's attorney. You don't actually resign as an attorney, but rather file a motion to withdraw. A motion means Laura is going to have to go the court and say please let me out of this case. The judge can say yes or no depending on how it will affect the representation of Britney going forward.

Many family law attorneys in California now sign agreements with clients which limit their representation to a sole issue such as the divorce itself. Once the divorce is finalized, it would be easier for the attorney to withdraw from the case, but not automatic. Most other states don't allow attorneys to have these sole issue representation agreements.

If Laura Wasser is just trying to withdraw from the case because she's tired of Britney, or as TMZ alleges, that she's having a conscience of crisis, Laura is going to have a very difficult time withdrawing. Let's say she is successful though, then what?

1. Britney needs to find a new attorney. These things take time and so the hearing scheduled for September 15th would likely be delayed.

2. If the hearing is delayed does that mean Britney keeps the kids longer? The answer is maybe. If the hearing is delayed, the first words that come out of Kevin's attorney are going to be something along the lines of needing to argue some temporary orders. Temporary orders as I've mentioned before would replace the current orders until after the new hearing. It is very rare for temporary orders to be granted unless the life of the kids are in danger and it would be unfair to Britney in the sense that her new attorney would unlikely be prepared to argue temporary orders or anything if they have just arrived on the case.

Orlando Bloom (pre-stache) In Vanity Fair Italy




Now Where Again Was Katie Holmes Last Week?


As you know the Dark Knight is currently being filmed and Maggie Gyllenhaal loudly replaced Katie Holmes as Rachel Dawes in this Batman Begins sequel.

Well last week, Maggie was filming a scene when a special effects generator was mysteriously knocked over, caught fire and sent flames shooting up Maggie's skirt. Heath Ledger was first on the scene and managed to carry Maggie safely away while also putting the fire out.

No one knows how the generator was knocked over and no one has come forward to take responsibility for the accident which would have cause severe burns to Maggie if she had lost her balance and fell as it started shooting flames.

Jessica Simpson Breaks Her Nose


When I first heard about it, I was just hoping that she broke it while doing something unseemly with someone, but not her dad because that would be sick. Or that would have been great also if her dad broke Jessica's nose. That would be kind of cool. However, Jessica broke her nose as only Jessica could.

While filming her latest and hopefully last film (not counting sex tapes, and Playboy's Where Are They Now? Naked And Naughty series.) Jessica broke her nose after she accidentally hit herself in the face with a gun.

"I was running with a gun over my head and fell over and broke my nose, it really hurt!"

I am having a tough time even trying to visualize how this could have happened. What I can visualize is that her nose which she has often cited as her best feature will be so dramatically altered that she will make everyone forget about Jennifer Grey and just fade into obscurity and late night visits from dad.

Rehab UK Style--Don't Forget Your Guitar





I can't even keep track of all the crap happening with Amy Winehouse. If someone else can keep track of the number of rehab facilities around the world she has allegedly been in and out of and all the hotel rooms and all the drugs she may or may not have taken and the fact that Blake's mom and dad keep making money by selling stories to the tabs and then Blake denies the stories, moves Amy to another location, tells his parents again and they sell the story and so on.

This latest piece of loveliness comes straight from Blake's mouth though so I guess it should be considered more true than some of the other stuff, but not by much.

Blake was interviewed on the front step of the home he shares with his wife. She was not at the door and presumably could not find the door on her own.

Blake was asked why he was home and not in rehab, and he said "that after three days there, they realized they forgot to bring their guitar and so came home to get it."

On the way home they kept popping in and out of various pubs and Amy would pour beers for the customers at the ratio of one for them and one for her. The beer though was just to keep their heads clear. After their quick trip home to grab the guitar and stuff it full of drugs ala Pete Doherty, they were ready to go back to rehab and get straight. On the way back to rehab, Amy stopped in a convenience store for some supplies and managed to do a little shoplifting before heading out of the store.

Her last comment before reentering rehab was that the rumors of her drug abuse were all wrong and that she just has been really sleepy lately.

Clive Owen In GQ UK






Jessica Biel Is In The Sixth Grade --Except For the Getting Naked In A Movie Thing--And Bad Taste In Women


Jessica Biel is like the kid in middle school who says,"do you think Jen likes me?" "Could you ask her?" "Could you tell her I think she's cute?"

In the new issue of Cosmopolitan Magazine, Jessica Biel gushes about Jennifer Aniston and how much she loves Jennifer and wishes they could be friends. How about this quote.

"I understand being sexy, men love you, that's great. But what's really important is that women want to hang out with you. That's what I love about Jennifer Aniston - I watch her films and I think I love her. I really want to be her friend! I want to play those roles so women will think that about me too. It's about not taking yourself too seriously."

Uh huh. Now maybe she didn't mean that quote like I'm reading it, but it sounds to me like she would much rather hang out with women, wants them to want to love her and think about her, and just kind of puts up with guys because she has to. I guess guys think she's getting naked for them in her new movie, but really she's doing it for the ladies. She wants them to love her and be her friend and figures if she shows them what she's bringing to the table they will be more interested. I see the logic and am not offended as a guy if that is her real purpose. I just wish Portia de Rossi would discover the same logic.

Well if Jennifer Aniston is into chicks, I think she knows she got a sure thing here. It probably won't be as funny as John Cusack's sure thing, but I'm sure it would be a big seller if filmed.

Heidi And Spencer Sure Have A Funny Way Of Hating Ryan Seacrest


So yesterday, Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt were supposed to be pissed that Ryan Seacrest had played a copy of Heidi's song that had been "leaked" to him. The record label was upset and Heidi was in tears and Spencer was saying how he would never rap on Heidi's first single and so it was not the right song, and blah, blah, blah.

Well Heidi and Spencer were so pissed that they came on Ryan's show this morning for what seems like a daily appearance from someone from The Hills. All they did was be their normal ass kissing selves and were calling from Spencer's parents place in Malibu. When Ryan let one of his hearing impaired listeners on to gush about Heidi's song and a very fake compliment about Spencer's rap, Heidi and Spencer acted as if this was their plan all along. When the listener stated she couldn't wait for the song to come out so she could put it on her MySpace page and that it was her all-time favorite song, Heidi and Spencer had an orgasm right there on the air. Well, not really, but they knew their little pissed plan and "leaked" song had worked.

Honestly, after the fake engagement ring, the fake "leaked" song, and all this fake fighting that has gone on between LC, Heidi, and Spencer, it wouldn't surprise me at all to find out that the three of them share an apartment and much more. Of course the way Spencer kisses Heidi could also give a clue as to why he is always on Ryan's show.

Ted C. Blind Item

Sylvester Slimeball was a household name years ago when he was a major posh pooh-ba on a long-running boob-tube series. Boyfriend hasn’t done anything really big (well, certainly not as big as the man’s equipment down below happens to be) until now.

See, Sylvester’s coming to an entertainment enterprise near you...how exciting! I’m simply thrilled, and you will be, too, I’m sure! And now that S2’s a hot commodity again in ever-fickle Hollywood, S.S. has supposedly become quite the lothario—again. I mean, you know how a schmuck’s sleaze scale rises and falls along with his pro-meter, doncha? Men are always so predictable that way.

Now, Sly (no relation to Sly Stallone, promise) has been hitting on the hot young thangs who toil at his agency’s office and asking them out, despite the fact that S.S. is very much hitched, with tykes, to boot. Oh, please. Make me barf, already. You straights are even more indiscriminate than we fagolas are, and we can certainly be Slutty Sallys, fer sure!

Now, a little flirting never hurt anyone, but Sly Slime-B totally crossed the line with his recent bad-boy behavior, as Mr. Es actually showed up, unannounced and uninvited, to an assistant’s house—after working hours, natch. Dirty deets be that S.S. was carrying flowers and begged said worker bee to go on a “date” with him. When the horrified hon pointed out the much older S.S. was friggin’ married, his reply was too Tinseltown typical:

“It’s just for show,” he swore, "like all the Hollywood marriages."

Nice.

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Todays Blind Items - Jackass

First, some updates.

#1 - Party photos from DS's party. I didn't take the photos so am depending on someone else to send them to me. As soon as I get them, I will post them. Speaking of DS, the Ms. No Pants show premieres next month on ABC.

#2 -VW kind of freaked out that she was guessed that quickly, BUT never fear, I've always got a plan.

#3 - The blind item yesterday was vague and hard to comprehend. The problem is that it's really good and there was just no way to use my regular format because it would have been too easy to guess, and that wouldn't have been good. When it comes out and it will, then it will fall into place.

#4 Eva being A list. I agree that she is not the traditional A-list. However, one commenter listed six or seven A list actresses and really that is probably all there are under a traditional classification. So that leaves a ton of people in B list. I usually solve that problem by saying B list actress with A list name recognition. I think we would all agree that Eva has A list name recognition.

#5 TV A list is different and I gave those definitions somewhere but can't find them because I didn't label it.
Let me tell you first how much I hate judges that don't make a decision. Some judges just hate having anyone mad at them. However when they make a decision that makes no sense, all they do is end up confusing everyone and making both sides mad and upset. Also, it wouldn't hurt if you follow the law and not just make a ruling based solely on not hurting someone's feelings.
After leaving court this morning I saw they were filming a television show and so I stopped to watch and take some pics with my crap cell phone camera. Actually it takes good pics but you have to be closer than I was allowed to be. Also of course as with some of the DS photos I took, my finger always seems to find its way into the photo. The finger is just so fat it gets in the way. Anyway, the subject of this blind item is in all the pictures. The reason why I have gathered you here today are the umbrellas you can see in the third photo. Two guys each with an umbrella. Their job was to rush out in between takes and shade our former B+ film star and always a hit with eh ladies, or at least he likes to think so.
Our actor along with almost everyone else in the scene is wearing business attire. Today is hot in LA and everyone looked miserable but what can you do? Our actor on the other hand wanted his umbrellas immediately after each take. This is how it went.
Director - Cut
Actor - Umbrellas where are the umbrellas?
Enter two guys with the largest umbrellas you have seen
Actor - That's just not fast enough guys. I need those umbrellas quicker
Director - Action
Director - Cut
Actor - Where the hell are those umbrellas? I want to see you guys running out here.
Director - Action
Director - Cut
Actor - Dammit didn't anyone tell you how to open an umbrella. Yes, you got out here faster, but you need to have that thing open or get it open within seconds. It's burning up out here.
Of course all the other people in the scene didn't get to move at all except back to their original positions which were all exposed to the hot sun.


Random Photos Part One

If Planet Hollywood wanted Corey Haim's fingerprints so bad, they could have saved some money and just called a couple of police departments.
Just going through the motions. They look so bored with each other, but they probably went ahead and had sex anyway.
For someone who wants to model, Avril Lavigne has quite possibly the worst fake smile ever. She looks like a 6 year old kid who has been told to smile for his school photo.
Dude doesn't look too thrilled to be giving Avril anything but a good kick in the ass.
Must say that Salma looks amazing.

Pornstache takes home the only girl he can find.
Run David Run.
Lauren filming her reality show. Of course ordering that salad took 5 takes so some would say it isn't reality television. I on the other hand think it probably does take LC five tries to order a salad when she goes out to eat.
Happy Birthday Ben. Sippy cup for you or Violet?

Jenna Bush Finds Someone To Marry Her


Jenna Bush became engaged on Wednesday which is kind of an odd day to get engaged. You work all day, get off work, go see the boyfriend, have some dinner, complain about your day, and then right before Top Chef you get asked for your hand in marriage. Good thing there's TiVo.


Jenna got engaged to Henry Hager of the Richmond Virginia Hagers which of course shouldn't be confused with Hagermeister or Hager Daaz which is why Jenna originally started dating him. When she realized there wouldn't be free booze or ice cream a relationship had begun. Henry Hager is a long time supporter of President Bush and his father is the Chairman of The Republican Party in Virgina.


Catherine Zeta Jones --Circa 1988










She Who Doesn't Tip Could Learn Something From Mr. Pitt


Even though Brad Pitt has more kids to feed, (I was going to say mouths, but Angelina eats so little she may count as a minus) does jury duty, is forced to be with Angelina, and at one time had sex regularly with Juliette Lewis he still finds the time to be a generous tipper. Brad and the brood visited the Field Museum in Chicago on Saturday afternoon and were given a private one hour tour. Contrast this to the two hours the CNTLB spent at lunch ordering the entire staff around.

At the end of the hour in which Brad and the brood pretty much entertained themselves, Brad tipped the security guard who had remained after work for one hour was given $300 by Brad.

No matter what you think of Brad's taste in women or men (that is if you believe those stories about Brad and George) at least he's a generous guy.

Mandy Moore Is In A Relationship, Just Not With John Mayer



When Mandy Moore had lunch the other day with John Mayer, everyone assumed they were a couple of more than friends, or whatever. However, the reason they had lunch was Mandy was thanking John for introducing her to her boyfriend of a few months Greg Laswell.

She and Greg started dating earlier this summer but have tried to keep the relationship quiet to see if it would develop into something stronger. Apparently it has since Mandy was thanking John for putting Greg into her life.

Greg Laswell is a a singer/songwriter who divides his time between LA and San Diego and lately wherever he can get together with Mandy. Greg and Mandy have each met the other's family and really feel this could be something special.