Four For Friday

#1 This openly gay, male, pop singer must be thinking of changing teams because he was spotted making out, and groping a female fan on Wednesday night.

#2 This aging married, father/manager was overheard telling a young woman in her early 20's that he had an open marriage and that he could make her a star. He said he was doing some casting for a network television show and that it required full frontal nudity and so he would have to see what she looked like. Obviously, this woman didn't come off the same turnip truck as the other people he has managed or hit on because she said, "there isn't any such thing on network television." Our manager/jerk then said he meant he was doing casting for a film. She walked away.

#3 I am too lazy to find it, but there was a blind item a long time ago where a married, Academy Award winning actress and her B list husband faked fights at parties so he could hit on women after she left. Well, I guess it works both ways, because on Saturday night our actor was incredibly nasty to his wife at a party where everyone could hear, and then walked out. She then sought comfort in the arms of another guy and they went back to his place at the end of the night.

#4 This former A list (by definition) television actress is married, with child(ren) but has moved out of her home and is now living with a female producer of one of her failed television series.

Random Photos Part One

You would never guess from this photo that one person is married to Ben Affleck and the other Phoebe Cates. Aaaah. Phoebe Cates. Time to get out that Fast Times DVD tonight.
Gerard Way and Jared Leto. You can draw your own conclusions and no matter what you guess, I'm sure you will be right.
David Beckham in a look only he could pull off. Now that is not to say that I don't have this look, but it is because of accident and not design. As you gain weight, funny enough, shirts become smaller, and thus are more likely to come out of the sansabelt slacks I love.
"We go together like rama lama lama ke ding a de dinga a dong." That's for you Merlin.

This pregnancy thing is the best thing that could have happened to the looks of Nicole Richie.
When Mika stands like this, I can see the Mick Jagger comparisons.
Kelly Rowland is by far the best looking in Destiny's Child.
Reese Witherspoon, Keri Russell, and me in a Speedo.
I was so hoping when the photo was downloading, that it said Just Do Me.

One day closer to death. Has anyone ever died in at an award show?
Vladimir Klitschko for all of you ladies who want to go a few rounds with a heavyweight boxer. And by rounds, I think you know what I mean.
Will Smith and a tube sock. No, not Tom Cruise. I'm talking about the sock in Will's pants. Of course it could be the chastity belt, Jada put on him before he left the house.
I notice that PETA doesn't ever give Snoop Dogg any crap. With as many weapons violations as he has had, I think I would just take the mindset that you can't win them all and move on to an easier target.

Copyright Violations

Most of you know the site went down for a few hours yesterday. I am actually grateful that I was in the office when it happened and that I saw the e-mail fairly quickly. If it happened today, the site might not have returned until Monday.

Playboy took offense to the leaked photos of Kim Kardashian which of course is their right. They probably leaked them to generate interest, but that is beside the point. I get copyright infringement e-mails about once a week. They are generally an accident, and the people sending them treat it as such, and just say, please take it down or pay us. Depending on the photo, I make the choice.

Every once in awhile, Blogger will also send me an e-mail, because the copyright holder has notified them. When that happens, Blogger removes the photo, but nothing else.

Instead of choosing one of those options, Playboy took the option it knew would hurt most. They notified godaddy.com who hosts the domain. As soon as they received the e-mail from Playboy, godaddy just pulled the plug. No notice. Just did it. When I saw the e-mail from godaddy, I responded, and they were very good about turning the site back on, but it takes awhile for the DNS to filter throughout the world so it was about four hours before everything was back to normal.

I want to thank Domestic Chicky Designs for handling all the technical mumbo jumbo and you should visit her site if you need some web designing. Just click on the banner on the right side of the page. I also want to thank all the other sites that posted I had been sued, arrested, or forced to be Denise Richards' houseboy. That is good gossip.

Would You Pay $2M To See This Guy Naked?

See, here in the US, we have no idea who this guy even is. In the rest of the world though he is really big, and more importantly, Kian Egan of the group Westlife is willing to bare it all for $2M. I know there is Playgirl (isn't there?) but most of you ladies don't get your choice of guys to see naked every month. It seems as if every female celebrity of any kind of repute eventually ends up naked and on the internet whether they intended to or not.

If you are interested in guys though, your chances for a dick slip are just not as high unless you happen to love Vinny Gallo or Cisco Adler. The female equivalent would be if the guys were always stuck with Paris Hilton and Britney Spears and got to see no other celebrity nudity at all. So, I do feel your pain. Not like pain as in real pain, because I am kind of a wuss when it comes to anything that actually hurts, may hurt, or simulates hurt. I am talking more about the pain one feels inside when they have no cable and are forced to watch two or three channels. That is the pain I know you feel by only having two male celebrities who are constantly naked.

Anyway, in the days prior to the internet, I can understand why some ladies might not feel comfortable going into the 7-Eleven and getting your groove on by purchasing a Playgirl, but this is the internet age now, and you all have money. You would think some magazine would charge you $4 or $5 a month and use that money to get someone like Kian to pose nude, and give you something to look forward to each month and something to Google for when your significant other pisses you off by eating his 13th Krispy Kreme and Budweiser chaser.

Look at all the good ideas Playboy. See, I don't hold a grudge even though you got my site knocked down for four hours yesterday.

Eminem The Home Wrecker

You don't really think of Eminem as a home wrecker. You think of him more as guy who has a serious hang up about his double ex, Kim Mathers. You know, I don't know if it is actually considered home wrecking if it was only a boyfriend/girlfriend thing rather than a marriage.

Eminem has started dating Marni Bright who is a hairdresser turned music studio manager. That is a common career path. Lots of people who work at SuperCuts right now are going to be managing recording studios next year.

Anyway this Marni Bright woman is allegedly a dead ringer for Kim Mathers, and that makes it easier when they are having sex because you know he is calling out Kim. But then his daughter Hailie might come in the room thinking he was back together with mom, and so maybe they should just whisper.

Marni had been dating a guy for four years. To me that is long term. I have no idea if they were shacking up together, but I doubt they were living at home with mom and dad. Well as soon as Eminem said hello, she said goodbye to her boyfriend. So when Eminem dumps her, will the boyfriend take her back? Actually I don't think Eminem is much of a dumping kind of guy. He is more of a stalker kind of guy. You have to be pretty obsessed with someone to marry them twice, not to mention all the times they took each other back despite some serious shit.

Nope, looks like Marni has got a keeper.

Gillian Anderson

With all the X-Files news this week, I thought a little Gillian Anderson would be appropriate.

DNfromMN -- Movie Review -- Enchanted

This is a movie that will make or break your relationship. And it's too fluffy for it to have that power, but unless you're Mr. Romantic,you'll have some explaining to do.

Quick Summary: Cartoon fairy tale princess is sent to Manhattan by an evil witch queen. Meet cute: boring single dad Patrick Dempsey and fairy-tale loving daughter. Cartoon prince charming comes to rescue her and bring her home. Witch's minion comes to keep the fairy prince and princess apart.

I'll give EL this one: Amy Adams is pure sugar sweetness, and I'm worried she'll get typecast. Amy Adams' last role pf note was her Oscar-nominated goofy pregnant woman in Junebug. Her role in this movie, is the naive and goofy princess. She's good though, and you can actually see the wheels turning behind her eyes of what could be a two-dimensional character (rimshot, thank you, I'll be here all night).

Patrick Dempsey-- honestly, I couldn't care. It could've been any attractive guy. No wheels here, honey, just there for the payday.

So why will this movie ruin or save your relationship? Because it's romantic. I don't remember the last time a romantic comedy came out that was actually romantic. It's a fairy tale romance, and that brings the child out of you; the piece of you that wants there to be princesses and princes and love at first sight and happily ever after.This is a turn off the brain and enjoy it movie. If you're thinking,you'll critique Giselle for everything ("THAT couldn't happen!" "No way, not in New York!"), just remember it's a fairy tale.

The thing this movie was missing was the Bollywood treatment. It is a Disney movie, and there are song and dance numbers, but that's where I couldn't turn off my brain. The director of Enchanted directed some Disney cartoons before, and that was a great plan. He just can't capture the magic on film. A good Bollywood film, when they break into song, you believe it; that's what that character is feeling at the time, it's the same as in all the classic Disney cartoons. The songs in Enchanted are all exposition: "True Love's Kiss", "That's How You Know". They tell you what the plot will be, it's not someone breaking into song because there's no other way to explain how they feel. And I think that's what's going to keep Enchanted from being a classic.

There were kids in the theater, and there were some "questionable"one-off jokes. I think today's kids can handle it better than some of the parents will. (There's an insinuation of a comment about sex, and one blatant gay joke. Both are less than 30 seconds, and nothing you wouldn't find in a 1950s comedy.) The kids in the audience were laughing throughout. I don't know that this is one for your first graders, I don't think they'll be able to grasp the change from 2D to Live Action. This isn't Roger Rabbit.

There aren't any other romantic comedies opening up between now and when Enchanted is released November 21, so expect it to do well. There are some potential romantic dramas in the way (Love in the Time of Cholera, and August Rush), but nothing that would aim at this direct market that has had a serious dry spell.

This is a movie to help you get over your rotten boyfriend, or find a flaw in your perfect one. It's cute, mindless, and hopefully gave Susan Sarandon (who voices the witch queen) the money to put one of her kids through college.

It's worth $4.00 on my scale ($0 to $15), it'd be a nice rental or 2nd run theater, but it's not something I would have paid to see openingweekend. And that is a matter of personal taste: I didn't like the ads,I didn't want to go, and it's definitely a chick flick. I hope I can help you make a decision.

Kim Cattrall Will Do Anything For Money

I know that is a pretty big statement in the headline, and it can mean all kinds of things, but I am convinced Kim Cattrall will do anything for money. In a recent interview she stated that the only reason she was doing the new SATC movie was for money. She wants to buy an apartment in London and ITV are too cheap to pay her what she thinks she is worth, and so she is forced to do something she never wanted to do for artistic reasons, but will do it for the money.

If someone hates something so much and is always "never, never, never," then someone says here is a $1M, and that same person goes "yes, yes, yes," then you have someone who will do anything for money.

I also get the feeling that if they keep paying her, she will keep showing up for as many SATC movies as they can make. If you need her to show saggy breasts at 80 while she screws her way through a retirement home, she will do it.

She actually has said she hopes they do another film so she can get a larger apartment in London. Right now, I guess from what she said, that she must living in some kind of trailer or something down along the Thames. Therefore she is living in a van, down by the river. Nice.

Is Lindsay Drinking Again?

She might not be drinking again, but it isn't stopping her from trying to order drinks. On October 19th Lindsay Lohan tried to order a vodka at the Viceroy Hotel after just sipping on water for close to an hour. However, with all of her friends getting hammered, Lindsay wanted to join in on the fun and tried to order vodka.

"But her people had called ahead and servers were told not to give in no matter how often Lindsay asked for alcohol."

Despite the expected denials from the Lindsay camp, a guest at the Viceroy overheard the exchange between the actress and a waitress, "I heard the waitress say that she was sorry but she wasn't allowed to serve her. Lindsay walked out soon after, looking embarrassed."

Well you know that if she is asking for drinks at a bar, then it is a very short step to finding a bar your people haven't called or just going to the store and buying a bottle and sipping it while you are strolling the rest of the aisles looking for the Top Ramen and wondering why people are staring at you. Doesn't everyone drink straight out of the bottle while grocery shopping? I mean, it's not like I wasn't going to pay for it, because I was and did. Security didn't need to be so rude about it. It actually was kind of fun. Kind of my own Leaving Las Vegas experience without the dying or the hooker sex from Elisabeth Shue. And it wasn't Vegas, but Ralph's on Sunset, but still. You get the idea.

Oprah Buys Everyone Cell Phones

Police in South Africa have arrested a former school matron at OWLS. It actually is called the Oprah Winfrey Leadership Academy, but if you change Academy to school and then abbreviate it is much nicer and provides a handy mascot. It also kind of gives it a Harry Potter feel, which is nice since JK Rowling is about the only one who has money on the same level as Oprah.

Anyway over at OWLS they arrested the woman on suspicion of sexual and physical abuse. So far it appears she allegedly only sexually abused one girl, while physically abusing several others. Probably because they wouldn't let her sexually abuse them.

Oprah suspended the principal with pay and then flew in all of her own investigators because she didn't think the South African police could handle the job. They instead did the investigating and told the police what happened. Ummm. But what about if Oprah is trying to hide more? Shouldn't the police be investigating instead of the owner of the business who has PR up the ying yang to think about. It's kind of like an owner setting his building on fire for insurance money and then doing the investigating himself.

Anyway, the big news is that Oprah gave every girl a cell phone and they are to call her directly anytime they want. Do you know how much teenage girls talk on the phone? Can you imagine the roaming charges in South Africa? It's quite possible these girls could bankrupt Oprah. Who really thinks they will get Oprah on the phone? My guess is that Stedman just found a job.

Ted C. Blind Item

Dorrell Sausage usually loves getting attention, but this time could be different. See, Dorrells a fairly good guy (depending on whom you ask, course). Hes pleasant enough looking, in an old International Male catalog kinda way, thats fer sure, and, supposedly, Dorrells well endowed. But isnt that comparing biz usually best left to the eye of the benefactor? Regardless, what is Sausages claim to fame? Were not exactly sure.

But lets see. D.S. is from semifamous lineage, does some boob-tube work now and again and he dabbles in music and design. What fun! But natch, he also loves to date the famous femmes, which is probably why we started talking about him in the first place.

Except that our boy Dorrell has gone and gotten himself in a pickle, as it weredue to his very own pickle, as it further were. Seems Mr. Pee bedded some random, nonfamous babe and didnt use protection. And he didnt get (or give) any nasty hickies, but he did go and get the girl knocked up. And guess what? She wants to keep it! D.S. is terrorized in his tidy whities at the paternal prospect. 'Cause if she does, itll be the one time Dorrell'll be wishing he didnt have headlines harkin all about him.

Today's Blind Items

#1 The sisters who aren't speaking are back. Well one of them anyway. It seems that since their falling out, one of them has been using and abusing almost constantly. She had a tiny problem a few years ago, but it has turned into something approaching full-time. Friends of both sisters are urging the non-using one to make some kind of reconciliation gesture to her sister in hopes that it will stop the abuse.

#2 This C list film actress who loves her lips is involved with a convicted wife beater. She doesn't care and thinks he has reformed.

Random Photos Part One--With Some Europe MTV Award Arrivals

Doda seen here at the MTV Awards said that she wanted to be taken seriously as a singer.
The folks at Disney were not pleased to see this pair (wow a pun).
Things got kind of awkward for Angus Jones when Charlie Sheen asked him for a copy of his yearbook.
I just can't stop staring at Joss Stone's legs. Has anyone else heard she was Tom Cruise's second choice?

It seems so long ago that Julia Roberts was the tabloid queen.
Heidi Klum even looks great in a costume.
Dad didn't dress up for Halloween because he was pissed Gwen Stefani wore a black wig.
The Foo Fighters in Munich.
Only Wycleaf Jean could pull this look off.

The funny thing is Quentin Tarantino didn't even know it was Halloween.
Wow, the Hoff's ex and her new boyfriend make quite the drunken pair don't they?
Is the Maddens in Munich an alliteration or do you need more M's?
Despite what you may think, this is not a costume Kelly Osbourne was wearing.

The Only Break Up That Will Make You Sleepy

Claire Danes broke up with boyfriend Hugh Dancy for some writer. Not that there is anything wrong with that. I hope the writer is a big drinker and a huge drug user. Maybe he can get Claire to come out of her shell and smile, or laugh, or even fart.

For some reason guys do gravitate to her and I don't know if it is because she is a low talker and they need to get closer to hear. Then when they get in range, she poisons them or something. I know. I know. It's a stretch, but how does a woman with zero personality on and off screen keep finding new guys. Is it the sex? Is she that good or are guys that desperate that they will take a shot at her?

From what I understand she does have all her teeth, and hell most guys really don't even care about that. Hell, Amy Winehouse loses a tooth a week and she got married. Now, I'm not saying you are going to get a great guy if you start losing all your teeth, but you can find someone who probably has a job or at least a steady government check each month.

Claire allegedly met this writer guy in West Virginia while taking a break from her duties as Liza Doolittle on Broadway. She came into town, met him the first night and called Hugh the next day and said it was over. I'm sure Hugh's first reaction was "Thank God."

Wentworth Miller - GQ Style -- Germany

Martina Hingis Tests Positive For Cocaine--Abruptly Retires

At a press conference on Thursday, Martina Hingis said that she had been accused of testing positive for cocaine while she was playing at Wimbledon. Although she denies using the drug while at Wimbledon, she has never denied using the drug at other times during her career and her first retirement. Always known as a hard partier, Hingis, never let it seem to affect her game.

Hingis has known of the positive test for some time, but decided to have a press conference when news of the postive test was set to be made public. The 27 year old, Swiss born, Martina Hingis lost in the third round of Wimbledon and hasn't played tennis since September 19th.

During her press conference, Hingis announced her retirement from tennis.

Paris Gets Sloppy Seconds

When Lindsay Lohan decided not to host the New Year's Eve Party at Las Vegas nightclub LAX, the club went looking for someone who didn't mind going in where others have been. What better choice than Paris Hilton who will make $1M for playing hostess, teasing a few guys and girls, and making sure the top of her dress falls down several times throughout the evening.

With no one taking Paris seriously as an actress or singer or designer, she is forced to do personal appearances for money. Hey at least she can afford to buy her own coke now.

Some reports have said that Paris' fee is the most money any person has ever been paid to appear in Las Vegas for one night. Although I know it is more than Celine Dion gets for a night, or Elton John there have been some one off concerts that paid more, and certainly boxers earn up to 20 times more for one night, so I think they need to clarify that statement. It is still a ton of money though not as much as she has earned. Paris was paid $2M to just sit in the front row at Kira Plastinina's fashion show in Russia for one hour. In case you were curious, the average annual salary for Russian teachers is $4000 per year.

Amy Winehouse Pulls A Senator Craig

No, Amy Winehouse isn't looking for strange men to have sex with in an airport bathroom. I know I haven't brough this up previously, but I think it is time. Having no idea that public bathroom sex was so easy to find, I think that all public facilities should have co-ed bathrooms so that all sexes can have the opportunity to get busy at the airport or train station. Why should only same sex couples have all the fun? I propose starting a group called Public Urinal & Bathroom Equal Sex (PUBES) so that we all may enjoy the good times and anonymous sex.

Anyway, this story isn't about what Craig did or didn't do or want to do to that undercover cop, it is about what he did afterwards. Craig said he didn't understand what pleading guilty meant. Uh huh.

Amy Winehouse, who wants to come to the US so we can all give her our money when she tours is telling Norwegian authorities that she didn't understand that paying a fine meant she was pleading guilty to a drug offense. I am assuming that Amy thought the fine was perhaps a bribe or just some goodwill gesture they were supposed to pay for the company of the police. Maybe she thought the fine was the payment for staying in jail overnight, kind of like a hotel bill.

Amy's Norwegian attorney Ole Kvelstad said, "This is an appeal of errors police made in the case."

He said she was interrogated without legal representation or an interpreter and had not fully understood the Norwegian-language charges she was signing.

Bergen Police Attorney Rudolf Christoffersen said Winehouse was questioned by an English-speaking police officer, who translated charges and explained the consequences of accepting the fine. If the appeals court allows Winehouse to withdraw her acceptance of the fine, the original charges would normally go to trial.

If she could get it withdrawn, and go to trial, she would be more likely to get a visa to come to the US and tour, while awaiting the trial, but it is no guarantee. When you apply for a visa, the whole innocent until proven guilty thing doesn't apply. They look to see if charges have been filed and what they are. It doesn't really matter that it was just pot, all the headlines would use the word drugs and then the State Department would be in the business of deciding which drugs and charges were ok and which are not suitable for a visa.

Da Brat Lucky She Is Not Facing Murder Charges

In what could have been much worse, Da Brat (Shawntae Harris) was arrested in Atlanta at a nightclub owned by Jermaine Dupri and charged with aggravated assault.

Officers arrived at Studio 72 at about 1:20am responding to a call about a "pushing incident."

The police report indicates Harris and a 24-year-old waitress at the club got into a squabble after the waitress bumped into her. At some point, the waitress walked away and moments later was hit in the face with the bottle of rum.

The report said the waitress, who sustained a deep laceration to the cheek and some swelling on the forehead, was driven to a hospital by a friend.

If the bottle had been just a little heavier, or hit an inch or two the other way, it is possible that the waitress could have been killed. It is unclear why Harris and the waitress were arguing, but one witness said it may have been that the waitress rejected Harris' advances and Harris became upset.

Harris was the first female rapper to have a platinum-selling album.

She has appeared on VH1 reality shows Celebrity Fit Club and The Surreal Life.

Enjoy Your Late Night Shows Tonight

When the WGA meets tonight at the LA Convention Center, the leaders will be telling the writers it is time to walk out. Union leaders have been advising all members to take their personal items with them when they leave work this afternoon. Although a strike could have begun at midnight, the general consensus was that Monday would be the soonest a strike would occur because the WGA wanted to look as if they were trying to negotiate with the new federal mediator. Now that may change.

While your favorite comedies and dramas have enough episodes filmed to keep you happy for a month or two, the late night talk shows will only have enough for tonight. Say goodbye to Jay Leno, and Conan O'Brien. Say adios to Jon Stewart and David Letterman. Love SNL on Saturday nights? Say buh bye. These shows all depend heavily on writers on a daily basis and will shut down after tonight if a strike is called. So enjoy them tonight, because it may be awhile before you see a new show again.

You notice I didn't mention Jimmy Kimmel saying goodbye? That's because he may stay on and take advantage of the other shows going dark to pick up some ratings for his struggling show.

The WGA will be all alone on the picket line as the other Hollywood guilds including the actors and directors have specifically reminded their members about the no-strike clauses in their contracts. SAG did say that if members wanted to picket with WGA members on their free time they could, but were not encouraging it.

NY Daily News Blind Item

Which famously un-single hip-hop powerhouse recently had a booty call with three women in a private third-floor room of that very trendy restaurant on Greenwich St.?

CDANCON Thanks

I would like to take a second here to thank everyone who participated in the CDANCON event. From the very beginning it was Hez' brainchild and she saw it through to the end. None of it would have happened without her efforts and so any credit should go to her.

I'm sure she is already planning to make next year's event bigger and better and with an entire year to plan, it will be incredible.

Thanks to all the people who came to the events whether it was from LA, or other spots around the globe.

Thanks to all the people and companies who contributed prizes for you the readers so you could feel involved even if you couldn't attend.

I also wanted to give a special shout out to Anna Kosturova. Many of you may know her from her incredible swimsuit collections and other great sportswear fashions. Anna was here recently for Fashion Week and she opened her gifting suite to many of the people that make this blog possible. She took care of my spies as well as other celebrities who serve up much of what you read in the blind items. I can't begin to thank her enough, and thanks to Hez again for introducing me to Anna. I encourage all of you to check out her site which is linked above.

The Winners

Sorry about the delay in announcing the winners of all the CDANCON giveaways but there was some confusion about what was given away at the lunch.

It turns out that only one thing was drawn at the lunch, and therefore last night I had DS draw for everything except for the one thing already drawn at the lunch.

You will get an e-mail later today from me, confirming you won.

M From Mariah -

(1) Alex' from France (person DS selected at the lunch)
(2) Jennifer Dunham

Amber Tamblyn Books (if you want them signed to you, rather than just her signature, you need to let me know this week, what you want it to say)

(1) Sherri Smith
(2)Karyn McKeown

Fay Aiyana CD's (if you want them signed to you, rather than just her signature, you need to let me know this week, what you want it to say)

(1)Marisa Picker
(2)Eileen Kane
(3)Quinn
(4)Matt Pollock

Full Bloom Tea Set

First one mentioned in post
(1)Jacqueline Holcome

Second one mentioned in post
(1)Leslie Trewhitt

Your choice of Dominique Swain DVD autographed personally to you.

(1)Pamela Haskin
(2) Sarah Brooks

Congratulations to all of you, and if you didn't win anything, don't despair because I have some things to give away next Friday that you will love. More details tomorrow.

Today's Blind Items

#1 The scene. B list film actor who used to be on the edge of A list but can't quite seem to get there. Our actor has a little get together. Our actor invites another couple over as well as a lady friend he is dying to get into bed with. At some point in the evening, the lady friend our actor lusts for decides to use the restroom. While doing her business, she feels something ticking her bare leg. Looking down she sees a huge cockroach crawling up her leg. As she screams, she notices there are several others throughout the bathroom. Needless to say, our actor didn't get any that night.

#2 This C list television actress/reality star has been spending some time with a married couple who are half A list celebrity, half regular in the past few weeks. Our actress thought it was just about friendship, but it turns out the couple would like the actress for much more than just friends. Promising they could help her career and get her noticed around the world, our actress is on the fence about it, but so far has said no.

Random Photos Part One

This doesn't really have anything to do with gossip, but it is a great photo and the "Crusty Demons" came up with one hell of a promotion to get people to come see their tour.
Speaking of crusty demons. Blake kind of reminds me of Matthew Broderick in Election after the bee sting except paler and closer to death. I also am guessing Blake doesn't drive a Ford Festiva, but you never know. Amy Winehouse is actually looking better each day, and will make a great widow. Maybe she can start a WILF tradition or something.
One day there are the scary photos of the spider veins, but when Angelina Jolie looks like this, there are not many women in the world more naturally beautiful. Doesn't mean I like her, although without getting into the morality of who is better, I would rather have sex with Angelina rather than Jen.
America Ferrera in Marie Claire.
Lindsay Lohan goes for pizza for the 5th time in 8 days. I think she is looking for the magic pizza. But like I told you before, they only deliver the good stuff. You can't get it at their store.

I have to say Jennifer Hudson looks really good here. Heard she is finally getting off her diva stool also because the SATC women put her in her place in about 5 seconds.
Jessica Biel shows off the latest in cafeteria ladies going to church fashion trends.
While Thandie Newton at the same event looks breathtaking. You know the term eyes bugging out of your head. Look at the guy behind her. I think he likes what she is wearing also.
Wow. Heath Ledger dresses like he is the offspring of Tim Burton and Helen Bonham Carter. OK, maybe not that bad. They are the two worst dressed people on the planet. Heath is just a hippie who had to leave the house during the day and didn't want to.
Shar Jackson and Ian Ziering. Great couple I think. They didn't go together though. Ian went with some random girl who was still wearing a Live Strong bracelet and kept calling Ian daddy so I know how that one turns out. Shar went with some random guy, but you have to admit these two look good together.

Not looking good is Ryan Cabrera. I remember when BP (Before Pimpa) he used to look normal. Now he looks like he has been shell shocked and only wants oatmeal.
"Summer lovin had me a blast."
Is Meg Ryan dating anyone because I heard she has a thing for fat guys, and she is looking pretty good.
This is the moment in life when you really regret doing all that shopping BEFORE going through security.

Tom And Katie Done?

I want you to read these excerpts from an interview which will be broadcast on Entertainment Tonight tomorrow. I know things sometimes appear differently when read rather than spoken, but to me this seems very formal and not very "I am in love with her."

Tom Cruise said of his marriage to Katie Holmes: "I feel lucky. I have a lot of respect for her as an artist, as a woman."

Now it is entirely possible he said this with passion, but to me it seems like he read some lines that he memorized.

He added: "She's a very strong, gracious woman. She's very funny, a great comedian."

He could be talking about anyone here. He probably has made the same remarks about all of his female co-stars. I think it is becoming clear that she is the co-star in all of this.

Married life, he continued, is "all very good, all very lovely."

Next time one of your friends asks how your marriage is doing, why don't you answer with these exact six words and see what their reaction is. It will probably be something along the lines of , "are you sure?" They will know you are not telling them the whole story. Who the hell says that? It's like he is talking about raising a dog or his new house. It is completely generic. The whole damn interview is generic.

He referred to Holmes as "Kate" throughout the interview.

As for raising daughter Suri, 18 months, he said he and Holmes share parenting duties "just like everybody else, you just work it out. You make it work. We've gotten pretty good at organizing everything." Laughing, he added, "I don't sleep much anyway."

They share parenting duties with a staff, but the interesting thing to me is the last part about not sleeping much. John Travolta in a recent interview said that he stays up alone all night and that sleep isn't important. Is this some tenet to Scientology that husbands stay up all night and look at porn or something while their wife and kids sleep?

The interview was held in Paris, and Cruise said the city "has great significance to me in this time period of my life. It's the city where I proposed to Kate."

He makes it seem like there will be a different period of his life where the city will not have great significance to him.

I just find this whole interview very strange and formal like he is trying to distance himself from Katie and setting the whole thing up for him to say bye bye.

Kim Kardashian Playboy Photos Leaked

For a woman who said that she wasn't going to do anything in Playboy that showed her entire body, and doesn't want to have to explain her current actions to her grand kids, this might take some explaining from Kim Kardashian. There are 8 photos in total, and some are full frontal. Guess she thought her grandsons might like looking at what grandma used to look like and what her grand daughters might achieve in life if they really work hard at acting like a slut.

Here are the photos and of course, they are NSFW.

Lane Garrison Won't Serve Maximum Sentence--Gets 3 years 6 Months

Although the prosecutors in this case could have asked for the maximum sentence of 6 years and 8 months, they have refrained from doing so. The judge in the case handed down a sentence of 40 months for Lane Garrison, the former Prison Break star who was drunk behind the wheel of his SUV when he got in an accident which killed 17 year old Vahagn Setian.

The prosecutors for some reason only asked the judge to give Lane a sentence of 4 years 8 months.

The courtroom is packed with friends and family of the victim, most of whom were caught unaware by the low sentence recommendation.

The 40 month sentence means that Lane Garrison will actually serve about 1 year 8 months in prison total. Garrison did address the families of the victims and said he was remorseful and sick that he had done it.

How Do You Know I Even Want Anything?

That was a direct quote from Heather Mills in an interview she gave to talk about how she can't give interviews about the divorce proceedings between herself and Paul McCartney. After I fell out of my chair laughing and was helped back into it by two assistants, I began thinking that maybe I need to move to the UK and take up family law. According to Heather Mills she has spent $3M in legal fees. At $400 per hour which is a reasonable guess, that means her solicitors have spent 7,500 hours on her case. That equates to four attorneys working on nothing else for an entire year. For someone who was in the hourly rate business, she must know she is getting screwed. Of course, I think she is full of crap. In the last 24 hours she has compared herself to Princess Diana and hints that she doesn't want anything at all from Sir Paul.

She claims that all the court hearings are only about Beatrice and custody issues. Uh huh. Let me tell you something. If she only wanted her fake legal fees paid and was willing to walk away with nothing, Sir Paul would have the money in her bank account faster than she could get a trick out of her room when his hour was up.

She says that all the rumors of her asking for huge amounts are all crap. "I have been offered nothing. We go to court over our daughter. You have no idea. These figures are made up, GBP100 million, GBP50 million, GBP20 million. How do you know I even want anything? "I am GBP1.5 million in debt in lawyers fees. But I can't talk about that. I'm gagged at the moment, while the media are being fed spin by a certain corner."

For someone who has done a great deal of gagging in her life, you would think she would know what the term meant. If a gag order is in place, then she shouldn't be talking about the case. Here, she throws out all of these statements and then says she shouldn't be talking about it. Well then don't. Just pick out a sum of money, take it and move on to the next rich guy just like the old days.

David Beckham--Arena Magazine

Country & Western Version Of Grease?

Late yesterday people began talking about a remake of Grease. Well, that is nothing new. People have always talked about a remake of Grease. The only thing that made this talk any different was that Michelle Pfeiffer came out and said that she had been offered a role in the new version, she thought Grease 2 sucked and wished she had never done it. For those of you who are in Toronto, that wailing sound you heard last night was Drew Barrymore being told that her favorite movie was hated by it's star.

Even that might not have caused any attention, but then Michelle dropped the little bomb that she thought Jessica Simpson would make a great Sandy. That of course is blasphemy. Sandy becomes a slut at the end of the movie. With Jessica Simpson as Sandy, she would have to start out as a slut and then become a hooker or something by the end of the film. Despite everyone saying Jessica is too old to play Sandy, she is younger than Olivia Newton John when she played Sandy. ONJ was 30 and Jessica is just 27.

All of that is beside the point because the real story here is that Grease isn't being remade, but rather redesigned. Producers have an idea for a C&W version of Grease which would take place in Texas rather than LA, and would star Jessica Simpson and would also star Owen Wilson, although not in the Danny role. It would not take place in high school. It would be in the "real world."

This collaboration is the reason that Owen and Jessica have been spotted together. Hey, they may end up having sweaty monkey sex with photos for Pimpa of course, but what brought them together was this idea for a C&W version of Grease. Michelle Pfeiffer would portray Jessica's mother, and John Travolta and ONJ would be given small roles. From what I understand, the movie would be more of a cross between Grease and High School Musical, but with brand new songs and skimpier outfits.

Michael Hutchence Makes Another Appearance

Being Halloween and all, this is kind of starting to creep me out. So yesterday we had Simon LeBon coming out and saying that he believes Michael Hutchence was murdered. Today, Bono made a completely unexpected announcement that he was going to auction his Red Ducati motorcycle for the charity Riders For Health which provides health care workers in Africa with vehicles.

The bike previously belonged to his U2 bandmate Adam Clayton and originally to the late INXS star Michael Hutchence. Bono dedicated the bike to the singer and signed the fuel tank with the message "To Michael, Bono".

Suri To Never See Parents Again

In an interview with Hello Magazine, Tom Cruise says that he treats all his children the same and that it makes no difference whether they were adopted or not.

"I wanted to be a father all my life. Truly, it makes no difference to me between my adopted children and Suri. I've never separated them in my thoughts - I just don't feel that way about it."

Well if that is the case, then perhaps, Tom should release the older two kids from whatever boarding school/dungeon he has them in and let them visit him on the set of his new film. It seems as if he has been in Germany forever and Suri has been with him every second. Crickets when it comes to Isabelle and Connor. Prior to Suri, he would pull them out every once in awhile, but since Suri has been around, Tom went to two or three sporting events a year ago and that has been it.

Therefore, if Tom really does treat his kids the same way then Suri better be prepared to never see her parents again once she reaches shipping off age. Say bye to mom and dad Suri. All that love and attention will be gone. If you are lucky, mom might give you a call on your birthday or Christmas, but only if she stays married to your dad.

Oh yes, Nicole Kidman hasn't exactly been beating a path to the door of Isabelle and Connor either. In all those interviews where she is making snide comments about Keith Urban and her marriage, did anyone see anything about Connor and Isabelle? Nope. Are they even still alive? Were they human to begin with?

NY Daily News Blind Item

Which NYC power couple was recently overheard having the following conversation at the Beatrice Inn?

Designer: "So, are we going to get married?"
Mogul: "Well, let's talk about it."

Ain't love grand!

Today's Blind Items - My Strike Settlement Contribution

Although the blind items I write here are overwhelmingly about celebrities, I don't want you to think that I don't have blind items about producers or writers because I do. I just don't usually write them because no one really cares unless it is someone really big. If you think celebrities do some crazy stuff, writers and producers are just as bad, if not worse. So, with that in mind, to encourage a quick settlement and a stop to all the extra calls I get everyday, I will post a blind item about a writer and a producer each day until a settlement is reached. This will only be necessary if there is a strike. I understand most of you won't know who any of the people are, but the writers and producers who read this site will have no problems figuring them out. Hopefully that will spur them on before they see something they did wrong. But since there is no strike yet, let's talk celebrity dirt.

#1 You know what I love? Baby mama drama. Not whether or not someone is pregnant or if they announce it, but whether or not they know who the real dad is and what deal they can make with him, and very quickly. I always think it is funny when it is an ex you thought was long gone. One time is all it takes.

#2 Two crew members were fired from this top ten network drama for theft. Seems they were taking some valuable items from the cast. At least that is what the suits believed when they initially fired the crew. Turns out it is one of the cast members herself. The B list film and television actress confessed after the crew members were fired. She tried to pass it off as a joke, but her fellow actors are doing everything they can to make her life miserable and have been pressing producers to get rid of her quickly, or they might start talking about it in public.

Random Photos Part One

It bothers me that knowing what I know about Amy Winehouse that I still find her very sexy in this photo. Not that I would do anything about those thoughts. I think to be safe, you would really need some kind of industrial strength latex if you are going in. Even with that level of protection, you may want to consider a round of shots afterwards.
Not sexy at all are the huge veins Angelina Jolie is sporting. Damn. If you are Brad Pitt how would you like to find those spidery veins wrapped around your head first thing in the morning.
Katherine Heigl and TR Knight enjoy movie night together. I guess Katherine's fiance wasn't invited, or maybe she had some secrets to spill to TR. Hmmmm.

The extra makeup never hurts when you are Teri Hatcher.
Not needing makeup or anything else, Reese Witherspoon is just back from shopping. No doubt she got all kinds of sexy things to wear for Jake. Or, not.
"Seriously Nick. You need to get a job. I'm almost done spending all your money. Either you get some more or I will have to find a guy who has some."
Joan Collins is 74 and still rocking the see through top. Have to love it.

Lane Garrison Discovers His Fate Tomorrow

Tomorrow morning former Prison Break star Lane Garrison is scheduled to be sentenced as a result of his guilty plea in the fatal car crash that killed 17 year old Vahagn Setian. The judge in the case can impose a maximum sentence of 6 years 8 months in prison but it is about a 50/50 chance whether he will get that long of a term.

On the one hand you want to congratulate Garrison for standing up and taking accountability for his actions, but on the other hand, even 6 years in jail seems like nothing for the death of a 17 year old high school student with his whole life to look forward to that was entirely preventable.

The parents of Vahagn have started a foundation in his name that will award scholarships and other assistance to art students in the Beverly Hills Unified School District. That same foundation has also been gathering signatures aimed at ensuring the actor faces the maximum sentence.

Kelly Brook Wants You To Believe

I must admit that Kelly Brook tries really hard to make sure that everyone believes that her relationship with Billy Zane is real. However, even for her, this latest interview may have been too over the top.

If you believe what she is saying, I'm surprised she has anytime in her life for anything other than sex. She says that fighting with Titanic star fiance Billy Zane boosts their sex life.

Kelly said: "Couples should fight a lot. Even if you do agree, pretend you don't. I'm a brat for the sake of causing trouble - but tongue-in-cheek and with a twinkle in my eye. "

"It's about mentally stimulating each other as much as it is about the physical and emotional side. The key to a good sex life is fantastic lighting! When you redecorate make sure everything's on dimmers. Either that or candlelight."

Is fantastic lighting so it is easier to fantasize about a different partner during sex, or that harsh lighting makes your sex tape look too industrial? Now, in my case, I turn off the lights even when I am by myself because if you had to see what I have to look at, you would be shutting the power at the fuse box just in the off chance that the light might accidentally come back on at some point.

The actress also revealed that her curvy figure is all down to "having tons of sex". I'm not sure how sex plays a part in whether you have curves or not, but since Kelly stayed in a Holiday Inn Express last night I will give her the benefit of the doubt and not question her scientific or medical claims.

Michael Hutchence Didn't Kill Himself

Despite evidence to the contrary including a coroner's report, Duran Duran's Simon LeBon still thinks Michael Hutchence didn't kill himself back in November 1997. LeBon is convinced Hutchence was murdered or some other explanation exists for the death of the former INXS singer.

A belt found at the scene suggested the 37-year-old had hanged himself, and the coroner's report backed up the theory. But LeBon, who was once housemates with the late singer, is sure there is more to the story than people have been led to believe. He says, "He loved life, women and drugs."

"He lived it to the full - there is no way he'd have wanted to end it all".

As much as I love a great conspiracy theory like whether Suri is really Tom Cruise's baby, I just can't think of a reason why Hutchence would be murdered. I do think it is possible that because of the belt found at the scene, and the fact that he was found in the nude suggests that perhaps Hutchence was engaged in some type of auto-eroticism, but I can't believe he was murdered. The coroner in the case didn't mention anything about auto-eroticism, but that could have been just to make it look more palatable to the family.

Was someone there when it happened? I think that's possible. Kym Wilson and Andrew Reyment were the last people known to have seen Michael alive, but I think it's doubtful they were in the room when it happened, and even if they were, that they murdered him. Why would they?

The only real question I have ever had about his death, is what happened to his money. Yes, he loved drugs and women and wasn't shy about spending money on both, but after his death, no trace was found of his alleged fortune. Did he really spend that much, or did a relative find it and keep it for themselves and not tell anyone?

Christina Ricci Timeline

After posting a photo of Christina Ricci yesterday, CDAN reader Rebecca took it upon herself to find other photos of Christina and lo and behold look what she found. It seems InStyle has a whole section devoted to showing how stars transformed. Not like the movie mind you. I mean none of these actors is going to turn into a car or anything. It just kind of shows them aging or attempting to get younger, or just kind of doing nothing, like their career. Anyway, if you have an hour or two to kill, you can check it all out here. I added the last photo in this set from her most recent event.

1990-Mermaids time frame. (10 years old here. You can do the math from now on)

1995 - Casper time frame.
1997 - The Ice Storm time frame.
2000 - Not doing much of anything time frame.
2002 - Freaking me out with her makeup time frame.
2007 - At least through last week.
2007 - Last week

An Assistant Speaks

Hi Ent, the spirit of the following is simply meant to offer another perspective on the potential writers strike that we haven't seen discussed yet: the below-the-line/un-guilded assistants.

THE RIGHT KIND OF RIGHT

Why are you reading this? Do you care what I have to say? Because you haven't yet asked me or my coworkers or my peers at other productions and companies what we'll do when the strike hits.

AMPTP - I get it, you represent the businesses. Mickey Mouse, Time Warner, GE, all the big and smallish guys. And we're just company overhead, not faces; simply money in their banks. It's been a failure of a new television season, you're only seeing year-to-year weekend gains in film when it's a sequel or there's a caped hero, and you can't stop the cybersleuths from leaking your properties on Bit Torrent or TV links. Hear us clear, employers: as your personnel we absolutely recognize your need to partake in smart business; hey,after all, someone's gotta cut our checks and throw us free trips to Disney.

And writers - I get it, this strike will help "us" in the long run.We'll benefit most from this when we're working writers/producers/directors/whatever and you're all shriveled up,recalling the glory days and living off your residuals from that streaming media check you got from your episode of CSI or Monk. Hear us clear, boss: we absolutely believe you deserve to be paid for your creative property. But we also believe in compromise and rational decision making.

See here's the real deal: we lose. No if, and, or but's about it. We don't have a strike fund. We don't get our benefits from the guild.We'll have a part time job at some bar on the promenade and COBRA payments, compliments of our insurance being terminated upon production's closure. Most of us aren't dumb, we knew what we were getting into here - hard work and long hours in the hopes of proving ourselves to either move up or make the contacts to do it on our own.So where's that opportunity we were so humbly promised? What do all those late nights add up to?

Tell me to stop whining. I should. But so should all of you. AMPTP haven't offered compromises (we all know they only took off the table what shouldn't have been "on" in the first place). The WGA is too concerned with the war and not the specifics of the battles. You're both too busy arguing over chairs (thanks for the updates, Nikki) or where to hold the meeting to realize that every one of you represents fifty more faces. (I'd love to do the math to figure out how many assistants to writers will be out of work come November 1st, but I'm too busy trying to make plans to pack up said boss.) I don't speak for all below-the-line slash assistants, just enough of them. Obviously we don't have a guild; that shouldn't stop us from having a voice.Voices that should also speak up, we're still a part of this. We're not (yet?) members of the WGA, nor will we be offered membership until we sell something, so stop using the argument that it will benefit us later. I'm sure if we could join we would. The sentiment of your argument is designed to make you (both writers and executives alike)feel better. Some role model you are. There's more than one way to stand up for what's right. What kind of "right" do you want to be?

Here's my solution: keep going. Negotiate, compromise, do everything you can to work it out. Don't fuck the writers on residuals again(particularly new media and DVD sales) - give them their fair cut of the pie. But don't fuck the below-the-line and their measly $600paycheck either. Writers, just because your contract expires on Thursday doesn't mean you can't keep working while negotiating. I'm not saying forever, but how about long enough to prove you're not trying out maneuver the AMPTP. It's quite clear you hoped to catch"the man" with it's pants down by striking now (as opposed to waiting and aligning 'till the actors and directors get screwed too all the while still negotiating on your own).

Bringing the industry to a halt is good in theory until you remember that "the industry" is actually people trying to make a living.People with families, mortgages, credit card debt, college payments,etc etc. Faces simply caught in the crowded crossfire of what's right and who's right. So if you choose to stand by striking now, please know your support staff might not be there when you do finally sit back down. For, we too, have our rights. The right to work, the right for our turn to pursue our dreams, and the right to look up to you--those that have come before us. What kind of "right" do you want to be?

Jessica Alba Has Convenient Morality

Jessica Alba has insisted she will never go nude in a movie because of her strict religious beliefs. "I will never do a nude scene in a movie - not ever. I can act sexy and I can wear sexy clothes but I can't go naked. I think I was always very uncomfortable about the way my body developed. "I come from a Catholic family and it wasn't seen as good to flaunt yourself. I can handle being sexy with clothes on but not with them off."

Those religious beliefs must have taken a holiday when she decided to break with Catholicism and go ahead and live with her man whore. Either that or maybe her family didn't want her taking off her clothes but encouraged her to go ahead and sleep with guys and live with them because you need some kind of sin in your life. Of course all this piety won't mean crap in five years when she can't get a role and is forced to seriously consider whether being the center square is such a bad thing. Cash would have left her for someone younger and wealthier and she would be forced to fend off the advances of fat bloggers and James Woods. At that point, I don't think she will remember this little interview she gave, and instead will be contemplating whether they will give her extra for going full frontal. Never say never.

Becks Brainwashed

While speaking to Arena Magazine, David Beckham took the opportunity to say a few words about Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes and Scientology. David said Tom and Katie had never "shoved Scientology down the throats" of The Beckhams and he was thankful for that.

He went on to say that Tom and Katie were "amazing people" and "just so positive about life." "We respect their religion. We respect everything they do and believe in," he told Arena."But they have never turned around to us and said, 'You have to be a part of this', because that's not what they're about. It's never been about that. "There's been nothing shoved down our throats because friends don't do things like that."

OK, first of all the man has been brainwashed. I am almost certain that when Katie was first asked to describe Tom she said he was an amazing person and just so positive about life. I don't know if that is some kind of hidden phrase that summons Xenu and turns Tom into an alien, but it does freak me out that he chose the same damn words.

Second, when the hell did Katie become a Scientologist. Why did I think she was still a Catholic? Is she in on this thing now? Is she one of them? Will she make the complete transformation into a Laura Bush look-a-like or can she escape? I really am freaked out by Beckham's choice of words. I think what happened is that at that welcome to LA party, Jada Pinkett Smith took charge and just kept repeating those same lines over and over, and all the other minders there would do the same thing. Next thing you know, Becks has been brainwashed.

X-Files Has A Start Date

For those of you who have been anxiously awaiting for the X-Files to return after its television run in 2002, the countdown has begun to the start of filming on the second X-Files movie. On December 10, filming begins with Chris Carter at the helm and Gillian Anderson and David Duchovny reprising their roles as Scully and Mulder respectively. The working title for the film is Done One, but you know that is just for show and refers most likely to the first film.

Not really scandalous gossip or anything and I'm guessing most of you don't care, but hey this is the X-Files. I'm not a Star Trek fan or much of a Star Wars fan, but I love the X-Files and will be first in line to see it. Now, although I want to be there on the first day to see it, don't get me confused with the people who will camp out for two weeks before the first midnight showing, or who will see it repeatedly over the first 48 hours.

I'm just going to see it once, and then another look see when it hits DVD. Then possibly again when it hits cable and again when it hits network television. Then of course there will be the Director's Cut DVD so I would probably review that as well. The release of the movie will probably lead to a re-release of all the seasons of the television show with brand new scenes and commentary. It would be kind of remiss of me not to at least view that extra material so I could comment on here about it.

But, it's not like I am some pasty, pale skinned, overweight X-Files freak who can't keep a woman and lives in a basement or something. Oh. Oh crap. OK, a little self realization. Wow. This would explain a great deal about me, and why women don't like my Lone Gunmen tighty whiteys as much as I think they should.

NY Daily News Blind Item

Which blond sitcom star and new mom should watch her man more closely? When apart, he likes to hit on girls that look a lot like her.

Today's Blind Items

#1 On a day when you were being nice and maybe just had some great loving, you might consider this film actress to be B list. She used to be for sure. Now, she doesn't do much of anything except show up where the beautiful people are and every once in awhile make a fool of herself. Definitely only with beautiful people though. At a party the other night, she was overheard giving a lengthy dissertation on why she doesn't have any ugly friends and how if you do, people will think less of you, and that you should only surround yourself with the best which means rich guys, quality clothes, and no ugly friends. "What happens if someone becomes ugly after they are her friend?"

"I never speak to them again, unless of course they are rich or can help me in some way. But it better be a very big help. Of course they aren't my friends then, just a business partner."

#2 This pregnant singer decided to spend the night at a hotel with her man. She must have really enjoyed what they were doing because the management called twice to let her know that the other guests were complaining about how loud in bed she was.

Random Photos Part One

I'm not saying Christina Ricci isn't still attractive. I'm just saying she doesn't even resemble herself from even six months ago.
At first I didn't really like this look on Lori Loughlin. Then I started thinking about teacher fantasies and I see what she was trying to do. Well, maybe her eyes were bothering her, but the school teacher thing works better than the fact that she passed out and left her contacts in for three days and got an infection.

The uni brow and band aid on the toe are what I look for in a date. Katharine McPhee, must know this and is sending me some type of subliminal message.
The only message I get from this is that exercise looks like hard work and that George Clooney sweats like a Whitney Houston performance.
I think Diana Ross forgot her meds.
Denise Richards demonstrates the benefits of a 4th grade education.
Yun Jin Kim. She is in Korea promoting her new film Seven Days which looks incredible. I'm not just saying that because January is around the corner or anything. I'm just saying the film is amazing and everyone needs to see it like 34, 35 times with your family.

I really do like zippers.
You know Tom Ford is my gay crush. Don't you think that if he were straight that there is just no way on this earth you would ever see him doing Lindsay Lohan or Britney Spears. I do think that in a moment of weakness he would go as low as a Nicky Hilton though.
Alice in Wonderland? Hmmph. More like Alice's Restaurant which is always open and where you can get anything you want.
Nicole Kidman begins the slow transformation into Fergie

Don't Make Sexual Remarks About Your Boss

Kristeen Young of the group called Kristeenyoung (big stretch) had a sweet little gig opening for Morrissey on his US tour. Last Tuesday, Kristeen decided that pissing off the boss might be fun and in response to the audience's chant for Morrissey said, "Morrissey gives good head, I mean, er, cunnilingus..."

Yea. That's not going to be something that Morrissey is going to enjoy so he kicked the group off the tour. Granted, there is only one week left, but this is not how you want to be perceived by other headliners for whom you wish to work.

In a valiant defense, Kristeen took to her MySpace page and released the following statement.

"Unfortunately, the statement has been perceived as being profane (when, actually, one of the two words in question is a scientific term found in junior high, health class text books, and the other word, I feel most would agree, is lightweight slang) or defamatory.

"What I said was part of a thread of stage statements I made throughout our set. (The statements) were metaphorical and overstated to make an artistic point. The 'offending' statement, in particular, was in no way a literal statement, and was very much in keeping with the tone of my writing in general... Maybe I misjudged... but I meant no harm. I love Morrissey with all of my heart, soul, body, spirit, to the core of my existence and always will."

In excellent news for this blog, our very good friends Girl In A Coma will now be the opening act for the remaining dates on the tour. I just wish they had been the opening act for Morrissey when he was out in LA. Granted, I didn't get to the show until after the opening act, and have no idea if Kristeen is any good, but I actually would have showed up to see Girl In A Coma.

This of course has nothing to do with the fact that Girl In A Coma is from San Antonio and probably can't stand Eva as much as much, but rather the fact that anyone who can find a way to put Amanda LePore in a video is just plain cool. If you don't know the name Amanda LePore, you surely know the face. Check out this video.

Tim McGraw Kisses His Wife's Ass

I think I could have avoided a few of my divorces if I had followed Tim McGraw's lead on how to suck up to your wife. In some of his first public comments about the infamous ball grabbing controversy, McGraw said that the female fan who grabbed his crotch during a performance with his wife was being "disrespectful." He added, "I just kind of thought it was disrespectful, not only to me and to my wife but to herself."

See, if it had been me, I would have probably enjoyed it and asked the 18 year old backstage to show me how she would do it if the wife weren't watching, but like I said, that's why I have been divorced six times. It could be that Tim just doesn't like young women to grab his crotch, or it could be that he just doesn't like them to do it when his wife is five feet away from him. Of course, I think he really loved it, wished it had been a solo tour instead of touring with his wife and that it happened every night.

Could he say that to the public, his fans or his wife? Sure he could, but his wife would probably then grab his crotch in such a way as to exert the maximum of amount of pain and loss of usage possible. Better to just say it was disrespectful and wait for that 2008 solo tour.

Smells Like Daddy's Watching

In an effort to take more money from people who should know better, Jessica Simpson is launching a new perfume. Simpson has signed with Parlux who is best known for giving the world a scent designed by Paris Hilton which has been known to cause uncontrollable vomiting and a desire to be done up the butt for cocaine. No doubt, Jessica's perfume will be much more subtle. It will be designed to intoxicate Daddy's who like looking at their half naked daughters and setting them up on dates.

Designed to be as cheap smelling as possible while still attracting girls who want to smell like Jessica, it will combine the essence of Bam Margera, a hint of Dane Cook and a splash of John Mayer. True connoisseurs will be able to just get a whiff of that sweet smell of nervous perspiration that Pimpa ekes out when watching his daughter posing for men's magazines.

All in all, what more could you want for $2.95. It will be available at 7-Eleven and other fine convenience stores everywhere. Look for it next to the 6 hour energy drink and the week old red roses.

Demi Moore By Ellen von Unwerth

Someone Bought Vincent Gallo's Sperm?

I don't know if you have had the pleasure or not to read Vinny Gallo's website. Also, when I say pleasure, I really mean that in the most sarcastic way possible because it is anything but a pleasure to read his website. I understand that probably several of you are fans of Vinny and his work and that's fine. To each his own.

However much of a fan you are though, would you want to pay $50,000 plus expenses to have sex with him? Would you want to pay $1M to have his sperm inseminated in you? You can, and if you believe this item on PostSecret, someone probably has. I can tell you that the person who did post it is probably white because Vincent Gallo doesn't want to make black people pregnant. Now, you may think all of this is tongue in cheek, and I think to some extent it is, but there is also a great deal of truth to what he is selling.

I first encourage you to read what Vinny is selling. I also encourage you to note that his expenses are more than the cost for his services, and that he needs security to be present while he is having sex with you. He will decide how much security after seeing a photo of you.

This Whole School Thing Has Always Been A Bad Idea

There seems to be some type of resolution in the abuse scandal that has rocked Oprah's Ego School which is otherwise known as an all-girls Academy in South Africa that saw one of it's dorm mothers removed by authorities for unspecified allegations of abuse. Oprah Winfrey apologized yesterday to the parents of the kids in her school by saying, "I've disappointed you. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." Therefore one must reason that the allegations were not hollow or false.

This whole school thing has been a boondoggle (another word I have always wanted to use) from the outset. What was once a $10M pledge turned into $46M and six years of time spent picking out bathroom tiles and what color uniforms her students would wear. I want to make it perfectly clear from the outset that people in many countries are desperate for education and deserve whatever we can do to make it happen and I am glad these 150 girls are getting an incredible education.

However, I have to think that there are better ways to spend that $46M. Only 152 girls go to the school. Do you know how many schools for how many thousands upon thousands of children could have been built in African countries for $46M? How many books that could have been bought. How many teachers salaries paid for? How many people of both sexes could have been educated and given a chance? Instead, Oprah took all that money and wants to create an elite class and 152 women beholden to her. I just can't think of a reason other than ego why Oprah did this. She must have realized at some point that her dollars could go so much further if she would just forsake the ego thing.

Do you realize there are 28 buildings for these 152 girls? 28 buildings, and that Oprah interviews all of the applicants. Why would she do that? To find the ones who can kiss her ass the best? To find the stories she can use for fodder on her show? My guess is that as soon as this first class graduates and has made Oprah their Queen, she will find a way to excuse herself from this mess. Hopefully next time, she will think more about others, and not just herself.

Justin Timberlake Is A Jackass

Australia has been missing out on the Justin Jackass world tour, but not any longer. While recently in Brisbane, Justin showed Australia that he can be a jackass in any country and is just limited to rude behavior in the US.

When Justin Timberlake arrived to eat at a restaurant in Brisbane, several customers who had been standing in line waiting for a table, and other passers by asked Justin for his autograph. He said at the time that he was really hungry and that he would sign for everyone when he came back out. Well, while he was eating the crowd swelled to all of about 25 people. Obviously the people in Australia have the good sense to know that he is not worth waiting for. However, when he emerged from dinner 90 minutes after entering, he blew off the crowd by telling them he doesn't sign autographs. Apparently he doesn't do photographs either. A photographer confronted the Jackass and said, "If my kid could see me now, he'd be so excited." Jackass responded by saying, "I can't believe they let you reproduce children."

But wait, there's more. How can there be more you are asking? Isn't that more than enough jackass behavior for one night? Well, yes it is, but Justin is that very special breed of jackass who can just keep giving it out. For some reason, the management at the restaurant comped the meal of Jackass, which was worth about $140 Australian Dollars, which is probably worth about $8000 USD with our exchange rate being in the crapper. Anyway, Justin decides if the meal is free, then 15% of free is nothing and decides to not leave a tip despite being asked by one of the people he was with if they shouldn't leave a tip. Allegedly Justin said, "if the meal is free, I don't leave a tip, or else people start to get the wrong idea."

He then went home, called Jessica Biel, uttered some unflattering remarks about her, and then had his mom tuck him into bed.

I know many of you will point out that he did give $100,000 to Australia Zoo, but that was business and was probably not his idea. Being a Jackass though to fans, people, and waiters is all about him.

Jennifer Aniston Has Lost Her Mind

I have always questioned whether or not Jennifer Aniston even reads the scripts her agent sends her because most of them are utter crap from the outset, and I just couldn't believe that one person could have such awful judgment when it comes to what is good or not on screen.

Well, I need to apologize to her agent because Jennifer Aniston is the one with the problem. Apparently Jennifer was recently distraught over not being able to speak to Brad Pitt on the phone. So, what did she do? She dragged her BFF Courteney Cox to watch Brad in super size and dream about what it was like to get some attention from a man without paying for it.

Now, did Jennifer pick something good? Something worth watching? Did she rent a DVD and watch him half naked in a film in which he was good? Nope, instead she spent actual money to go see the Assassination of Jesse James. The only other people in the theatre were a couple who thought they were going to be alone and wanted to fulfill a fantasy. Instead they had to listen to Jen whining for two hours and as a consequence, there were performance issues for the couple. Of course he might have been tired or under a great deal of stress.

After the movie, Jen was heard raving about the film. Including Brad Pitt's mom, that makes two people who actually liked it.

NY Daily News Blind Item

Which magazine columnist with superior airs fakes a friendship with a leading dame of American TV - just so he can get tips from her dinner parties and mock her mercilessly afterward?