Friday, December 21, 2007

Four For Friday

#1 There was a slight fire at the home of this B list television star's home the other night. Hit show by the way. Network. Married. Child(ren) Fire department was called out to the home which destroyed the Christmas tree and presents and half the living room furniture. Cause- Seems our star was freebasing and things got out of hand. Guess the cash he passed out to the firefighters who responded to keep things quiet wasn't quite enough, or you wouldn't be hearing about it.

#2 This one almost makes me want to jump up and down and scream. Unfortunately I am physically unable to do so. But on the inside. The inside it is happening. Married couple. A list celebrities, but B list in their chosen profession if you judge their recent results. Husband was kicked out. He cheated. If you saw who this was, you would be jumping up and down too. Unfortunately, he is probably going to be allowed back into the house because they can't stop appearing in public together. I can't believe he cheated. Crazy.

#3 I hate to put two move outs back to back. But, what can I say. The holidays are big for this type of thing. This one doesn't directly involve cheating although there has been some. It is more because of behavior. A list film/television/film couple. He will be allowed to visit on Christmas Eve and Christmas and that is it. If he can straighten out, she will take him back, but I don't think he wants to straighten out. Needs to, but doesn't want to.

#4 After catching an STD on his last tour, this male country singer of epic proportions now has a roadie interview each prospective one night stand to see if they have a STD because when he gave the STD to his wife after the last tour, she wasn't too happy.

Random Photos Part One

You think that Jennifer Lopez actually thinks she looks good in those glasses or is she so Harry Carey blind that she actually needs them that big.
Dave Gahan. Enough said. If you are saying who is Dave Gahan, then let me shed a tear right now for you.
Did anyone see the movie Breaking Away? Zac Efron would fit right in. I don't know if he would be a townie or not, or if he can ride a bike, but still, it screams Anthony Edwards in 1970's shorts to me.
Shakira shows the kids in Bangladesh that her hips really don't lie. They all of course are wondering who the hell she is and why she is teaching them Spanish.
Lloyd!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Pregnant! Pregnant! Pregnant!
For some reason I don't think Alex Vaggo takes much crap from Paris Hilton.

Now. If you read all the way down here to the bottom, and click this little link here you can see some full frontal and not quite full frontal male action. NSFW.

Not An Arrest, But She Is In Jail -- And Pregnant

The long awaited (by Simon Cowell) sex tape starring former American Idol finalist Jessica Sierra is close to being released. I know this because the trailer is out. If there is nothing you enjoy more than a former reality star turned drug addict turned crackhead baby mom doing porn, then this is the tape for you. For everyone else, there will be full frontal male nudity later. What the hell, it's Christmas and I want everyone to be able to get some this weekend. You know, there is anniversary sex and birthday sex. They are almost always guaranteed. Valentine's Day sex is not always a sure thing because of the inevitable fights and pressure of the day. Columbus Day sex has always been my favorite. You really don't hear too much about holiday sex though. No Thanksgiving quickies or a pre-Midnight Mass stress reliever. That should change. And I want to help. First the drug addict porn, and then later the men. I know, I know. Typical guy putting his needs first. I don't think I need to remind you that this video is NSFW.

P.S. I think it should be a rule in the future that if you are the guy making the sex tape, it is only polite to remove your socks. For screencaps of the video, you can click here.

Did You Hear The One?

I don't know why didn't share this one last Christmas, but when I read the story about how Kathy Hilton rounded up donations from celebrities to auction them for Make A Wish it reminded me of it. Speaking of Kathy Hilton, and I do so with only great trepidation, the only reason anyone knows about her donation efforts is because she told all the media. No one was paying attention to her and what she was doing and that just didn't sit right with her, so she started calling the media to bring attention to what she was doing. Why can't anyone just do something just to do it? That is why I love the kindness blinds I run. The subjects are only doing it for good, and not the glory or pats on the back.

Anyway, last year this B list film actress with A+ name recognition was going through money at very healthy clip to support her drug addiction. Tired of stealing from her friends at parties, she came up with a grand scheme. She said she was collecting donations for a toys for tots like organization, but since it was overseas she needed cash instead of unwrapped presents. $50,000 in donations later, she had herself one hell of a holiday season. The only reason she got busted on it was because the idiot offered some coke to a person she had previously plead poverty to. When asked where she got the money for the coke, she told the person about her scam. In her drug addled confusion she forgot that her fellow coke sniffer had been one of the contributors to the cause.

Could I Have An Arrest Please

This is turning out to be one of the slowest days in gossip news for the past several months. I really don't want to write or read anymore about Jamie Lynn Spears. I don't care what Blair from Facts Of Life has to say about it and I sure don't need to hear another clip of Britney Spears acting even dumber than usual by questioning again whether her sister is really pregnant.

There are no Lindsay Lohan antics and no ridiculous statements from Denise and Charlie. What is a blogger supposed to do? I could write about Sacha Baron Cohen and his killing off of Borat and Ali G, but that sentence would be about the extent of the story.

I did get another e-mail from Gift Clement after our lengthy diatribe towards her. I will be working on a response to her over the weekend. So, I thought I would give everyone a little bit more of what you all love most anyway. Blind Items. Sure, there will be Random Photos later, although I may fall asleep if I have to see any more celebrities on the beach or skiing.

Where is a good lesbian ass grab of Jessica Biel when I need it?

For those of you bored out of your minds over Christmas, I will be doing some posting. I'll be just as bored as you and so could use the distraction. Plus, I heard it is not a good idea to actually drink for four consecutive days without at least a 30 minute break every 4 hours.

AP checked in with me yesterday and offered up the fact that she was at a movie theater recently for a premiere. The place was packed but the A list star of the film, and a number one film it was, spent the second 30 minutes of the film getting serviced first by hand and then by mouth from his companion. They were in the back row, but AP and several other people witnessed the action as they made their way to the bathroom.

Vincent Margera Escapes Jail Time


Vincent Margera has been ordered to give up his Don Vito persona for 10 years following his recent conviction on child sex assault charges. He is one of the stars of Viva Le Bam, and the uncle of Jackass regular Bam Margera.

Vincent Margera was found guilty of two counts of sexual assault against children in October.

During sentencing in a Jefferson County, Colorado courtroom on Thursday, Judge M.J. Menendez banned Margera from signing autographs and from appearing on any TV show for a decade.

Judge Menendez also placed Margera on probation from 10 years to life and ordered him to register as a sex offender, seek treatment for his substance abuse problems and undertake a mental evaluation.

The 51-year-old had pleaded not guilty to allegations he groped three underage girls at an MTV appearance in a Colorado mall in August 2006. He was found guilty on two counts, but acquitted on another.

When he was found guilty, Margera collapsed to the floor and began screaming that his life was over and that someone should just kill him. That actually seemed like a good idea to me. Unfortunately the ass is going to walk free. The loss of his "identity" is one hell of a good punishment from the judge though. That in itself is probably more devastating to Margera than any other punishment except spending 10 years in prison. I actually think that he will never be heard from again, which is a good thing.

I Don't Think This Santa Has Been Groped


Susan Dahl had spent four months homeless in Colorado and just been on a harrowing 10-hour bus trip through sleet and snow. Hungry and broke, all she wanted to do was get back to family in Minnesota.

That's when a tall man in a red coat and red hat sat next to her at the downtown bus station, talked to her quietly and then slipped her $100 on that recent December afternoon.

The man was doing the work of Larry Stewart, Kansas City's original Secret Santa who anonymously wandered city streets doling out $100 bills to anyone who looked like they needed it. Stewart died of cancer at age 58 earlier this year, but his legacy lives on.

"He said `Here's a $100 bill ... and this is in memory of Larry Stewart,'" said Dahl, 56.

During about a quarter century, Stewart quietly gave out more than $1.3 million to people in laundromats, diners, bus stations, shelters and thrift stores, saying it was his way of giving back at Christmas for all the wealth and generosity he had received in his lifetime.

For years, Stewart did not want his name known or want thanks or applause, but last December he acknowledged who he was and used his last few months while battling cancer to press his message of kindness toward others. He even trained some friends in the ways of Secret Santa.

This Christmas, a friend who told Stewart in the hospital that he would carry on for him is out on the streets, handing out $100 bills, each one stamped with "Larry Stewart, Secret Santa."

Between Kansas City and several other cities this Christmas, the new Secret Santa will give away $75,000 of his own money, mostly in $100 bills.

"I didn't want to be a Secret Santa," said the man, a business consultant who lives in the Kansas City area. "I wanted to give Larry money. But last year, he said I had to hand it out myself. So I did, and I got hooked."

This new Secret Santa talks about Larry Stewart to just about everyone he encounters. "Have you ever heard of a man named Larry Stewart?" he asks before handing out $100 or more.

Depending on who he's talking to, the new Secret Santa might say Stewart was a man who believed in making people happy by giving them money they didn't have to ask for, apply for or wait in line for.

"There was this fella named Larry Stewart," he tells a man in the bus station. "He was an old friend of mine. He was called Secret Santa, and every year he would find a few people who might need a little money and he would ask that you pass on the kindness."

People respond differently to the gesture. Some cry. Some scream. A rare few even say "No thanks."

Others take the money and offer their own gifts. like Robert Young, who was homeless and had only 20 cents in his pocket. When Secret Santa gave him $200, Young, 50, took out an old notebook and ripped out a song he had written.

"It's yours now," he told Secret Santa, who thanked Young, and carefully tucked the pages into his pocket.

The new Secret Santa has also started a Web site, and is trying to recruit other Secret Santas across the country. "Larry's dream was for a Secret Santa in every city," Kansas City's Santa said.

There are now a couple apprentices, with more candidates turning up all the time. But, he says, you don't have to be willing to hand out money to be a Secret Santa.

"Anyone can be a Secret Santa," he says. "You don't have to give away $100. You can give away kindnes. Help someone."


Story courtesy of AP (as in Associated Press, not as in our AP)

Dakota Johnson Leaves Rehab


Who knew Dakota Johnson was even in rehab? I believe it was blind item, but I am going to have to look for it. For the first time, Melanie Griffith and Don Johnson have publicly admitted that Dakota Johnson had been in rehab. She recently completed a 30 day stint at Malibu, California treatment facility Visions Teen Treatment Center.

According to sources, former couple Johnson and Griffith realized their daughter needed help after chatting about how Dakota seemed to be partying every night. I'm suspecting it is because she had absolutely no rules at all. Hell, even when she was under 18, her mom was lighting cigarettes for her.

Dakota reportedly agreed to get help, and is now a reformed person, thanks to rehab and regular Alcoholics Anonymous meetings.

Both Johnson and Griffith have previously attended rehab - the bloated, former Miami Vice star battled drug and alcohol issues at the Betty Ford Clinic in the mid-1990s, while his ex hit rehab for addictions to booze in 1988 and painkillers in 2000. I think there are some more, but those are the only ones that have ever been acknowledged.

Louisiana Police Can't Count


Casey Aldridge's uncle went down to the Kentwood Sheriff's Department and provided documentation to show that Casey is just 18 years old, and not 19 as earlier reported, including by me. The sheriff's department in Kentwood, Louisiana confirmed that no complaint had been lodged against Spears' boyfriend and that "no criminal investigation is currently underway".

The lack of investigation appears to be valid in regards to any possible felony charges against Casey, BUT, unless Casey is declining in age daily, he should still be guilty of a misdemeanor in both Louisiana and California.

In Louisiana, the relevant portion of the penal code is:

Misdemeanor carnal knowledge of a juvenile is sexual intercourse with consent between someone age 17 to 19 and someone age 15 to 17 when the difference in their ages is greater than two years

Casey is at least two years older than Jamie Lynn Spears. His birthday is later than hers and 18-16 = 2 + the extra days. I guess that the investigating officer in Kentwood must be missing some fingers or toes.

In California, the relevant portion of the penal code is:

1. If the minor is less than three years younger than the defendant, the offense is a misdemeanor.

I'm not saying here that I agree that this should be a crime. What I am saying is that the law is a strict liability law, and that under the law, if applied equally to all people, Casey is guilty. Strict liability means basically that there is no excuse under the law. There doesn't have to be intent, and believing someone to be older than they actually are is no excuse. Strict Liability just says, if this happened, you are guilty. I'm sure there are plenty of guys who have been convicted of this sex crime who had sex under the exact same age difference as happened here. If Casey walks, don't you think they might be just a wee bit pissed.

Lainey Blind Item

Married and mega successful, with several children, but how to account for the gay young things seen coming and going from his trailer during production of his next hit? They were not part of the crew and they were not there to work… at least not on the film. Word is, he is insatiable and needs variety. Rarely does the same boy visit twice. And rarely are the boys not well taken care of. Though they are not paid professionals, per se, but they are compensated for being pretty and bendy. This is apparently a requirement. All of them have been observed to share the same body type: lean and fresh with short hair and they look like they all “belong in a music video”. Satisfaction guaranteed on both sides. He gets his and they get trips, clothes, watches, iPods… like a gay holiday year round! Always tip well to avoid talkers, savvy?

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Today's Blind Items

#1 I think everyone thinks this couple is happily married. After reading this, you might not be so sure. Just like Tom & Katie, this A list couple has separate bedrooms. Unlike Tom and Katie, this couple actually gives the impression that their sex life is spectacular which leads to speculation as to why they don't sleep in the same room, and not even on the same floor. Well maybe it has something to do with the fact that exes aren't always exes, and the wife enjoys spending some time every week or so with her ex. Often the ex arrives unannounced in the middle of the night, and to prevent an awkward situation (like this whole damn thing isn't awkward) when the ex crawls into bed, our happy couple maintain separate bedrooms.

#2 This celebrity, pretty close to a billionaire, if not there already was caught leaving the residence of someone not his wife the other night. Would probably have not been a problem except for the fact it was 3am and the guest he was visiting ran after him in her nightgown because he had left behind his gloves.

Random Photos Part One

Ashley Olsen goes dumpster diving for Christmas presents.
You ever get the feeling that Bai Ling just imagines she is always with people. She has more fun by herself than any other person I have ever seen.
Just in case you wondered what her band-aids said. I know you probably didn't. I actually just thought she had a bad case of rug burns when I saw the one band aid in the first photo.
A Simpson Family Christmas. Can you feel the love? I know Pimpa can feel that extra 50 pounds he gained this year. Never has a shirt been more appropriate.

I stay up nights wondering how Harvey Weinstein managed to get Georgina Chapman to marry him.
I don't stay up nights thinking about Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag, but I think some of you do. You don't admit it, but I know you watched The Hills and are just dying to know if Spencer and Heidi will stay together. Yesterday they were. Must be a DVD coming out or something.
When you take Chyna out, she brings along her apartment all in one bag. Of course it could be things for her next "appointment."
All the kids asked Ashley Tisdale to sing. She said she couldn't because of her nose. They than all asked, "what the hell does your nose have to do with you singing?"
You know that stupid joke someone always says when you get a really short haircut about getting in a fight with a lawnmower? This is the reason people tell that joke. Nice to see that Tobey Maguire tipped the valet. Next time tip your hairstylist and she won't do that to you again.

Tom Cruise doesn't look so good when he isn't expecting the photo opportunity. Kind of has that "why are you here taking my photo since I didn't ask you or pay you to be here look?"
Oh sure, the mittens should keep you warm.
Janine Turner. Former crush, now Ellen Barkin look-a-like.
This is a red carpet. Nothing unusual about that for Jeanne Tripplehorn except this red carpet was at 4am which was what time she had to arrive to get ready for the SAG Nominations. Guess actors don't like Johnny Depp because Sweeney Todd was shut out.

Great News For Your Holiday Season


Mischa Barton is thinking about quitting acting. With the exception of Jessica Simpson retiring this is about the best news I could hope for this holiday season. Oh sure. I know you are thinking world peace or something like that. Too cliche. This is the new world peace. Instead of drinking to world peace, you drink to Mischa Barton quitting acting.

She says: "There's been times I've thought, 'I don't want to be an actress forever,' and there are times I feel I can't live without it."

Well let me go ahead and give you a push to your first though Mischa. First, you really aren't that great of an actor. As much as you thought you were the shit when you did The O.C., it really wasn't much of a stretch based on who you are as a person. I don't see offers flowing your way to the point where "you want fries with that?" should completely leave the back of your mind as a career alternative. Oh sure, there will be people that will hire you. You can play the same tired roles and every now and then sleep with some producer so you get a bigger role, but really, shouldn't you just follow that first thought that came into your head and just quit acting. Then I can start worrying about world peace, and goodwill towards men. (Except of course for FOX News who copied my statutory rape article almost word for word yesterday with no credit. I know, I know. I do the same thing, BUT, they have lawyers and writers and do it full-time, and really have no excuse. )

Jamie Lynn Spears Thrown Under The Bus


When I mentioned yesterday my idea for The Britney Spears reality show starring Howard K Stern and Larry Birkhead, and how it would really be similar to The Anna Nicole Show, I realized it was missing one key ingredient. The crazy relative. You have to have the crazy relative like Anna did. Well, I found one.

Chanda McGovern is the aunt to both Britney and Jamie Lynn Spears and she is apparently the Michael Lohan of the family Spears.

Apparently not content to let the tabloids find her, she went and sought out the tabloids so she could give a statement on the pregnancy of her niece. Instead of parroting the family line, she said that Jamie Lynn got pregnant on purpose because Jamie wanted attention. Chanda said that Jamie was doing it to rebel.

She says that Jamie Lynn is jealous of all the attention that Britney gets everyday and so she wanted a little "me" attention. The best way to do this was to get pregnant.

Well she certainly got attention. Hope it is what she wanted. Who wants to go to Christmas dinner at the Spears house this year? That should be one hell of a party.

Daily Mirror Blind Item

Which clumsy rocker dropped a ciggie on his manhood while belting out a Beatles' song on the loo? He was left in agony and close to tears...

Marisa Tomei And Phillip Seymour Hoffman Naked



Yes, the headline is accurate. Hollywood has joined together an Academy Award Winning couple one would never see in real life. To add fuel to the fire the couple get naked and sweaty so we could relive this odd coupling for years and years on the internet. I am trying to think of the last time two Academy Award Winners got naked on screen together, after winning the award. I'm sure there must be some, and no doubt all of you know the answer. I am still in shock at seeing Phillip Seymour Hoffman naked though and I probably won't be able to sleep tonight let alone concentrate on movie trivia.

The film is called Before The Devil Knows You're Dead. I normally don't bother posting sex scenes to films, but I just thought it was the oddest combination of couple and nudity and award, that I felt it deserved a mention. Plus, it is the holidays. Nothing says gift giving like Phillip Seymour Hoffman doing it doggie style.

To see the NSFW photos from the film and the numerous NSFW sex scenes, then click here.

Tony Parker Wasting His Money


Tony Parker filed suit against X17 yesterday for allegedly defaming him. In the suit, Parker claimed "X17 had to know that the story was false, or at the very least, it had to have entertained serious doubts about the credibility of its supposed source." The suit asks for $40M in damages.

X17 published stories that French model Alexandra Paressant had "an affair with Mr. Eva Longoria and that the two carried on a secret relationship for about two months."

I like that Mr. Eva Longoria thing. That's funny. I didn't notice that when I first read their story. Tony Parker is a public figure, and as I have said many times here, in order for X17 to lose this case Tony Parker will have to prove that X17 acted with malice. What that means is that Tony must prove that X17 printed the story even though they knew it was not true or printed it with reckless disregard to the truth.

Tony can't prove it and his lawyers must know that as well. I saw one of the letters they sent to another website and they are very aggressive and take the offensive kind of letters, but it still doesn't mean they will win. X17 interviewed the woman and she told them a credible story with dates and facts. She then provided them copies of text message allegedly sent between the couple.

That's good enough. X17 wins. Apparently Tony's people are pissed that X17 didn't ask Tony for comment before running the story. They don't have to. There is no law that says the other side must be allowed to be heard from. Most news agencies do try, but they try 1 minute before deadline and pray for an answering machine and then say no one was available to comment.

Is Tony doing this because Eva is making him, or because everyone will maybe remember the suit instead of the affair allegations? I do know that when Tony gets his case thrown out, he is going to have to pay the legal fees for X17.

I almost forgot. The $40M in damages? In addition to everything else Tony has to prove, he also needs to prove he suffered actual damage. Even if the story is completely untrue, if Parker didn't suffer any damages, he doesn't win. He will have to show that contracts were lost, or endorsements not given to him because of the story. He won't be able to do that, and certainly not $40M worth.

Just Cancel The Show


Does anyone even watch The People's Choice Awards? Back in the day when there were fewer award shows, The People's Choice was kind of the fun award show. Award shows back in the day consisted of Emmy, Oscar, Grammy, Tony, AMA, and People's Choice. The CMA's came along on television just a little later. Now of course they have an award for everything and so People's Choice has lost its luster. Hell, I bet most people didn't even know it existed. Would you want to be called award winning if it was a People's Choice? I'm not even sure which people are choosing and how they are choosing, so how can it be People's Choice? It is very popular with celebrities though because there is an award for any category you can think of and they let you know in advance if you have won which ensures a very nice turnout.

Anyway, with no writers, the show is undergoing a format change. No red carpet, no press, no audience. Basically it will be host Queen Latifah announcing a winner who will read a pre-recorded acceptance speech via video. Now all that sounds like one hell of a way to spend an evening in front of the television. The show is expected to run four hours, and acceptance speeches will be limited to 15 minutes. There will be commercials every six minutes like clockwork, except when they allow local stations to broadcast commercials in which case it will be every three minutes. The entire CBS schedule will be advertised via a crawl at the bottom of the screen throughout the entire program.

I have a much better idea for the producers. Queen Latifah and 3 or 4 comics sitting around her "living room." Think of those shows VH1 always has like 80's and Best Week Ever. Have Queen host Michael Ian Black and Mo Rocca, and Anthony Anderson. Queen reads the nominees, and then the comics go off. They all pick who they think is going to win, and then Queen announces the winner. While the winner is giving their speech, the four make comments like it is a DVD commentary.

Katie Is Mom But Nicole Is Nicole--Huh?


So, I was sitting here and looking at all the puff pieces that Tom and Katie's people have been trying to jam down our throats this week to show they are totally normal. All the people who don't read blogs and the internet get their entertainment news from Parade and Kneepads Magazine. It's true. The average age of their reader is 114. Therefore this Sunday, people will open their Parade Magazine and see Diane Keaton holding hands with Queen Latifah (no lesbian rumors in the over 100 crowd), and a photoshopped Katie Holmes sharing all of her holiday plans with the readers.

Anyway, my mind was reeling from the sugary sweetness of the "interview" when I realized that Katie said that Isabella and Connor call her mom. It didn't register at first, but then as I was wondering whether to post about the SAG Awards nominations I saw Nicole Kidman's name and realized she had just given an interview where she made a point of the fact that Isabella and Connor call her Nicole.

How strange is that? I think what we have here is a Parade "interview" that was done before Nicole's interview came out. All the aww shucks warm and fuzzy about Katie kind of turns odd when the two children of Nicole and Tom don't call their mother mom, but call their barely older step-mother, "mom."

What do they call Tom? Katie and Nicole both don't answer that question. My guesses in order are (1) General (2) Sir (3) Strange Little Dude

Here are some quotes from Parade. I can seriously feel cavities forming in my few remaining teeth. This is totally designed for the dinner before 4pm crowd.

“I will probably cook some garlic mashed potatoes and maybe a cheesecake,” she says.
She adds that “Tom’s really good in the kitchen ... [he] has shown me the greatness of extra chocolate chips.”

“Suri will be in the dough everywhere,” Holmes joked.

She said the family — who include Cruise’s kids with Nicole Kidman, Connor, 12, and Isabella, 14 — will likely go skiing. (She added that “[Tom’s] first two children are incredible, really smart and kind. They call me ‘Mom.’”)

As for the couple’s first child, Suri, Holmes says “we don't like to be away from her.
“She's very aware,” Holmes adds. “This summer, when Tom was working in Germany, she'd wake up and say, ‘Hello, Berlin,’”

“I appreciate the man that I'm with and my family and my work,” she tells Parade. “I feel very lucky to be able to say that. I mean, what we do in a week is extraordinary.”

Hello Kitty Does Ellen


I know from the above headline that perhaps you were expecting something more lurid or obscene. Perhaps Ellen and a cartoon getting it on for the big screen or something similar. Although I am sure that would be fun, what you have to look forward to instead is our very own Hello Kitty. As in, our frequent commenter, Hello Kitty who attended a taping of Ellen last week. Knowing that many of you would like to know what goes on behind the scenes of a typical Ellen show, she was kind enough to write down her experience at the show and share it here.

First you must keep in mind that you have to sign up for tickets on her website. They allow you to go once a season and you can't put in multiple requests to sweeten the odds. I had tried twice last spring, but finally got lucky at the beginning of the new season last fall with tickets.

The tickets come in the mail in the form of a confirmation letter that was for guaranteed seating. They also have back up, standby seating, and those that don't get into the audience end up in the riffraff room next to the stage, separated by a partial wall, and only have a monitor to watch.

People come from all over to see the show, getting there early to stand in line, even earlier if they don't have a guaranteed ticket. We had received a call to get there by 2 pm, but when we got there at 1:30 we were already towards the back of the line. The ladies next to us had been a couple times already, and have a nice picnic lunch in the park before getting in line. Others would send one person to get food while they stood in line.

Unfortunately our original tickets were the week of Iggygate. When we got there, most everyone was already gone. The audience coordinator came out and advised the few of us remaining that we could come back another time so we were rescheduled for a December show, one of the 12 Days of Christmas giveaway days that others would have killed for. There were quite a number of us that ended up in line last week for the same reason, and since we did have to wait for 2-3 hours before taping at 5 pm, we ended up getting to know some people pretty well.

One game that our buddies played was guess the story of someone in line -- how old she was, how recently divorced, etc.

I was amazed at the range of people in line, all walks of life, mostly female, but with good male representation. We all had gifts for the Toys for Tots drive that the Ellen show was helping collect gifts for, and ended up sharing pens when the information sheets finally turned up. Audience coordinators came out around 2:30 to make some announcements, bring us in, and assign numbers (we were 122 & 123.)

You may wonder if we had to cross any picket lines, and there were a handful of picketers that walked up & down across the driveway, on the sidewalk, with a table across the street for organizational purposes, but once we entered the Ellen audience outdoor holding area, we were separated by a wall and a hoard of people.

To get to the next waiting area, were were escorted in groups to a security screening area. All it was missing was the x-ray machines and the requirement to remove our shoes, since the requirement to have no hazardous objects (knives, guns, lighters) was much the same. We also got escorted in groups to use the bathrooms, and were monitored to make sure we didn't wander off.

The holding area outside is a series of wooden benches under a canopy, with monitors playing the show that was aired that day and the day before. That way, we had some idea of what we might have missed if we hadn't recorded the show broadcast that day. They do have a small food concession right near the benches, so there were drinks, sandwiches, salads, and snacks for sale, and the marines were standing a few yards away collecting the toys.

Finally at 4:30 they line us up by numbers 1-200 with the guaranteed seating on the one side of the pavement and the rest on the other to be seated in the riffraff room. They all looked so sad as we walked past.

Anyhow, there was no guarantee that your party would be seated together, My friend and I were seated together, but the guy next to me was separated from his son. We walked though a room filled with toys and the Ellen gear shop, and then up some stairs to get to our seats. We were near the top on the aisle. The crew generally seemed happy to be there, and not just because they were working while others had been shut out or laid off.

They have a warm up guy that comes out and directs dancing contests - best dance moves and best dancers per section. My friend got the first shirt, but I'm guessing it was that she had that cute little old lady thing going, and not for the most jiggy moves. We also got a little practice in standing, cheering and applauding (no words or names, just loud woots.) We were also reminded not to touch Ellen or ask for autographs.

The stage is a large, multi sectioned set, with Xmas in the back were Ellen and the guests come in , an area on the side for various bits, and the host and guest chairs on stage right. The DJ is almost in the audience stage left, and once he comes out the show gets going, music blaring & everyone on their feet.

Ellen's opening monologue was about present wrapping, a monopoly set that was quickly wrapped and delivered so that we could get to dancing. There was a secret product promotion reveal for head and shoulders involving a bit where she washed an assistant's hair, and then to commercial.

Just so you know, the show runs in real time, so when a broadcast would go to commercial, we would have a 3 minute break to adjust the set & freshen up the host (the old tweak of the hair and touch of powder.) What you would have seen in terms of guests during the taping was pretty much was would end up on TV, everything in one take.

Of course we were taping day 8 of the 12 days of Christmas Giveaway. All the past week, my friend had been telling me what some of the other giveaways were -- cameras, phones, clothing -- and what the dollar value of said gifts were. Our gifts were a Gucci Hobo Bag, Calvin Klein sun glasses, a gift certificate & lotion from a spa, and a necklace that will be sent to the house. Remember, thought this stuff is free, we still had to fill out a tax form to get the gifts of an estimated value of $1300, and may need to pay taxes on it.

A week later it's all gotten to be a blur. Taped bits are show in the on set monitors, and there are several of them. There are cameras everywhere, but my friend only saw her hand and now our faces on tv. It's a pretty big set, bigger than what you would expect from watching it edited down on a small tv screen. There are feed back monitors in the audience so that you can hear what is being said, but in terms of view, there isn't a bad seat in the house.

Guests were Jane Seymour taking about her painting classes, the guy from Flipping Out talking about simple kitchen remodels, and the guy who jumps cars and now has a Nike internet ad.

By the time it all wrapped up and the tax forms were complete and turned in, we were tired. We walked out the way we came in, and were given all the swag out in the parking lot. On the way to the car, a lady in a car stopped and asked us where we had gotten the Gucci bags (easy enough to see when the bag says Gucci.)

I'm still trying to figure out where to got to use the spa gift certificate, but we both agree that we're going to try to go again in December next year.

NY Daily News Blind Item

Which documentary maker had to turn a blind eye to all the call girls that her subject, a famous sports star, was patronizing? "The hookers got better access than I did," she joked Tuesday at a dinner for the Gucci Tribeca Documentary Fund, a new initiative of the Tribeca Film Festival.

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

I Almost Forgot





I've noticed most of you think that the Jamie Lynn Spears pregnancy may have been a blind item. You are right.

The blind item in question was dated September 12, 2007.

#1 This teenage B list actress may still be a teenager, but she also may be pregnant. The single actress has told producers it's just a little weight gain, but the producers want her to take a pregnancy test and prove to them she's not pregnant before they make any additional commitments. So far she has refused.


The photos above were taken September 20, and 26th respectively. I think you will see that JLS had obviously already gained some weight from the bottom photo which was taken in June.

Today's Blind Items

All this clamor for whether or not JLS is a blind item revealed is the perfect opportunity to remind you that on January 1, lots of blind items will be revealed. Not to be a tease, but hey, tis the season for surprises, there will be a reveal of why something was not revealed to everyone's satisfaction in the past.

This married B list film actress who has been in some of the top movies of all time has a child or two or three. If I told you how many it would give it away, but she is definitely still married. None of this divorce or separation business. Did I mention the A name recognition. Not A+, but A. With all these letters you would think it would have something to do with teachers or school or something and you would be correct. Celebrities who are decent parents actually go to parent teacher conferences and such. Usually they are once or twice a year. Our actress has been going every week. Not that her child(ren) are doing bad in school. They aren't. But the actress is being bad after school with her child(ren)'s teacher. Bad is in she paid for an apartment for the two of them to visit every week. Bad as in he is married with children as well. Bad, as in they used to mess around a little at the school sometimes until someone saw them. Bad is in huge scandal for the actress and the school.

Random Photos Part One

I didn't even know Alicia Witt could sing. Actually I still don't know if she can, but someone must think so because presumably she is getting paid for singing and playing piano and not for her fabulous bird calling skills.
Wasn't this look on the cover of a Beatles album? I actually like it. I want to know who started the most recent hat trend of the style Jessica Alba is wearing. I know Victoria Beckham has been wearing one for awhile, but is the world going to have to give her credit for this new trend?

Eric Dane out and about. Is it me or does he look really old in these photos?
However old he is, he still looks more age appropriate than Eva Amurri. I don't know why I don't like Eva. All my thoughts of her are negative. Whether it is her sense of entitlement, or the fact that she looks 40 even though she is 22 there is just something about her I don't like. Not that she is probably a big fan of mine or anything, so I guess that makes us even.
Is that Jennifer Aniston peering out of the window up there?
At what point does the lead in makeup affect the health of an unborn child? It probably has no effect on someone who uses makeup in a normal manner, but this is just getting worse and worse. I just envision Christina Aguilera sitting in front of a mirror for hours just piling on more and more layers. I don't know why she bothers. She is an attractive woman and you know that no matter how awful she looks, she has Jordan next to her to make her even look better.
Speaking of awful looking. Woody Allen looks like a stick with a photoshopped head attached.

I'm sure Pete Wentz is winning over the NYPD with the cop and doughnut stereotype in Fall Out Boy's new video.
All those Miley Cyrus pregnancy rumors don't seem as crazy now do they?
Poor Lily Allen has had her pregnancy news and the effect her chain smoking and drinking habit will have on her unborn child overshadowed by the Jamie Lynn Spears news. The lucky dad and future domestic violence victim is Chemical Brothers member Ed Simons. Joe Pantoliano obviously is a firm believer in the layer theory of dressing.

Kate Hudson Blames Her Kid For Divorce

I'm sure Kate Hudson will say she is misquoted, because although she probably said it and meant it, I doubt she wants the rest of the world to think she said it or meant it. In the new issue of Vogue, Kate is interviewed and had this to say about her marriage and divorce to singer Chris Robinson, “we had Ryder, and we both sort of looked at each other and went, ‘Something’s off.’”

Prior to the birth of their son, Kate and Chris were the happy couple epitomized. It was only after the birth of their son that trouble began. Even though the couple remained married for three years after Ryder's birth, you can tell that at least Kate wanted out as soon as birth.

People get divorced for lots of reasons, and I'm sure the pressure of children, and the lack of time spent as a couple because of the child are probably major factors in divorce. But, unless you are the most callous and insensitive parent on the face of the earth, you don't say that to your child. Maybe Kate hasn't said directly to Ryder, but it is in print for all the world to read, and for him to read when he starts reading. Plus, if she expressed herself like this in words, how does she express herself through her actions, or thoughts or her behavior to Ryder. What she is communicating subconsciously to her son?

Merry Christmas Ryder. Don't tell your mom that though or she will spill a little secret about Santa.

Pimpa Must Have Pimped Someone--Grease Country Getting Closer


Forget what you are hearing or reading as the case may be today about Jessica Simpson and a Pretty Woman remake. It isn't going to happen. EVER. The film still does incredibly well in DVD sales and no one wants that cash cow to be interrupted or sidetracked by some Jessica Simpson fiasco. No matter how much Pimpa might want his daughter to portray a hooker, it isn't going to happen.

However, the studios are willing to destroy another movie, so who the hell knows what any of them are thinking. The Grease Country project has cleared some more development hurdles and is almost a sure thing at this point. Producers are confident that despite the straight to DVD acting abilities of Jessica Simpson that in a musical, she will do very well and that people will not be as focused on her acting, but instead on her singing ability. With a strong cast surrounding her, and the recent success of the High School Musical franchise, producers want to begin filming as soon as possible.

There is still no one attached to the project other than Jessica, and Willie Nelson as the Frankie Valli character, but with the additional financing that was secured, some new songs for the film and a desire to get the project done, casting is supposed to begin in earnest.

From what I understand, Jessica would be the fish out of water character and moves to a small southern town from the big city, and hooks up with Danny there. Locations are currently being scouted in North Carolina and Tennessee for the film.

Ashlee Simpson Video

Just because so many of you seem to be interested in the new music video from Ashlee Simpson, I am going to post it here. It is definitely a little strange. Enjoy.For some reason it seems really familiar.


Larry Birkhead Wants His Chance At Britney


Larry Birkhead wants to do for Britney Spears what he did for Anna Nicole Smith. In an interview with In Touch, Birkhead says he finds Britney to be sexy and that he is looking for a blonde, single woman with children. No doubt, Larry has called Howard K Stern who probably is already sitting in front of the gate at Britney's house and will move in next week.

I just find this whole thing disturbing. I find it disturbing because I could actually see Larry try and make a move on Britney. God knows Britney would be up for anything involving a man, sex and publicity. What would be better in her Adderall inflicted mind than a guy who was with one of her heroes, Anna Nicole Smith. We could all follow the sage of Britney, Larry and Howard and would make for one hell of a reality show. You have a southern blonde with kids who has a history of drug abuse and nudity and some crazy ass relatives. Hard to tell which is ANS and which is Britney. The only difference is that Britney already has money and could afford to pay Howard K for his expertise so he could get off the couch in his parent's basement and start destroying the life of another woman.

Daily Mirror Blind Item

Which actor's prowess with the ladies has come as a shock to his old college friends?
Back then he was openly gay and proud...

The World Of WD - Answering Your Questions

This week was a little more low key. Things are winding down for the holidays. I had a VO gig for Google, shot the pilot episode for the webisode that my friend and I wrote and acted in a feature film that starred the original Jason.

The VO gig was fun. They always are. The pilot shoot went well. We got everything we needed done. The movie was a fun experience. Should be out in DVD's pretty soon.

So I thought I'd answer some questions. I love reading your comments. It's so cool to me to see what you guys find interesting and how you interact with each other. Plus, you ask some really good questions. So, I'm going to try to answer them the best I can.

anon said... Thanks WD. I enjoy reading your posts. I was wondering your thoughts on reality TV stars who get opportunities most actors would die for including guest appearances on network shows, roles in big studio films and lots of media attention. I'm thinking especially of Lauren Conrad and Kristin Cavallari who are essentially famous for being famous. How does it make you feel when you are working hard to establish your career when others are given opportunities they don't deserve or haven't worked hard for?

Anon, I love this question! I hate reality TV. Don't get me wrong I've been drawn into episodes of the Bachelor as much as the next person. I really really love Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. However, I have in fact lost parts to the reality tv "stars". I have worked in casting offices where I overhear conversations of whether they should cast a trained professional actor or Lauren Conrad. They inevitably go with Lauren for the ratings. There are many Casting Directors who have stood up against this, and God bless them! It makes it especially hard now with the writers strike. Not many scripted shows are even still shooting, so there is only reality work. All that being said, I can't think of one reality star who has successfully made the transition to a respected actor. Can you? Please let me know if you can. They might shoot a few things but as soon as the buzz dies down so does their career. It's a marathon not a sprint and only the ones who have been training will make across the finish line. At least that's what we tell ourselves.

8:43 AM anon said... WD, In several of Ent's blind items he recounts how actresses have performed "favors" to land roles. From your experience and what you know of the industry is this a common occurrence? Anon (again), I feel that this will always occur as long as people in power abuse that power. It happens in every profession, but, I think it happens more in the entertainment industry because talent is so arbitrary. If you are a lawyer, you must have gone to school, studied, passed the bar, do well with cases. That is concrete proof of skill and all concrete requirements for the job. Same thing with Doctors and teachers. There is no such thing in this industry. I've run auditions and had amazing talent come in. However, these amazing talents are dismissed because "He reminds me of my ex boyfriend." "She had something stuck between her teeth." "I didn't like his beard." Seriously? Seriously! That's why they didn't get the job.

The opposite also holds true. I have seen mediocre to BAD actors get callbacks or hired because "I liked her tight sweater." "He reminds me of my high school crush." "She was totally flirting with me." So, two men are up for the same role, one had incredible training and is great actor. The other has no training, isn't a bad actor but happens to be the producers boyfriend, guess who gets the role? This doesn't happen on every production, with every casting director or producer but it happens a lot. It explains a lot doesn't it? How certain people get acting jobs?

Sharon said... Awesome, I love the kind of technical/organizational insight you give in your stories. Is it common for music video filming to be like two days or so or is this considered a "big" production? Also, what do you think of the future of music videos in general? With the reduction in video rotation on television and a migration of viewers to the internet are these kinds of productions in danger of extinction?

Sharon, To be honest I don't have that many experiences with music videos. The 2 I've worked on went for 2 days. But I had a friend who worked on a Gwen Stefani music video and was there for 24 hours STRAIGHT. Long days. I think they want to believe they can get it done in 2 days. And you can get a lot done in 2 days if you have a lot of money to throw at it. And most record labels do. It's like that saying you have do it cheap, fast or good but you can only do 2 of those.

As to your next question, considering that MTV hasn't shown a music video since the 90's not sure really. From what I know from my friend who is a music producer (the most recent album he produced is top of the rock charts) he says the video is a visual representation of the band. Videos are still a great way to sell records. Just like hearing a song on the radio. A great video will still stand out. With the internet, videos still have a place to be viewed but the budgets might be cut. But he doesn't think they are going anywhere. I mean the video for Ok Go put them on the map. I mean that was wildly creative and all in one take!

I hope you have/had a great Chrismahankawnzka!

John Graziano Opens Eyes


Four months after a crash that left him with serious brain injuries, 22-year-old John Graziano is now semiconscious and has opened his eyes, his mother confirmed to Tampa Bay’s 10 News on Friday.

This is great news, and actually it gets better. Even though John is only semiconscious, can't breathe without a machine and can't speak, he did recently lean away from his mother as she tried to touch his face. See, that shows that John is getting better. In his mind he is probably saying to himself that hot nurses might be watching and here is his mom touching his face.

I'm just shocked that I haven't seen a statement from the Hogan family saying how happy they are that John is starting to show signs of improvement and that if he had been wearing his seatbelt he would have already been out of the hospital. Then it would say they were praying for him, and then go on and say something like he would be out of the hospital if he hadn't been using his military training to persuade Nick to race another car in unsafe conditions. When Nick balked, John ordered him to get over 100mph.

I guess the Hulkster has other things on his mind like his new television show, and his divorce, and his daughter's ugliness and the fact that the Hulkster has to drive Nick everywhere.

Don't Ride On A Plane With Ponch's Son


If you saw the headline and said who the hell is Ponch, then let me give you some education. Ponch was a character in the show CHiPs which was the story of two California Highway Patrol officers who ride motorcycles and fight crime. Sounds exciting huh? Probably would be if not for some of the worst acting in the history of television and the fact that the writers thought disco was still alive. I think CHiPs was successful because of the really bad acting. Anyway, Ponch was played by Erik Estrada. Erik, who got laid a bunch while the show was on the air thought that having sex translated to superior acting skills and so became an asshole on the set and to the producers and with his actions caused the show to go from number 1 to being canceled.

For those of you who never saw CHiPs, you probably remember Erik from The Surreal Life. See, he was changed by then so you got to see the humble Erik. Not, the I have a movie career so am leaving this hit show and ending up on Telemundo even though I don't speak Spanish Erik.

Ponch has a son named Brandon who was arrested on December 13th after an air-rage incident on a flight from Los Angeles to Memphis, Tennessee. The pilot of the Northwest Airlines jet was forced to make an emergency landing at Oklahoma City after Brandon became agitated. He was then arrested by FBI agents.

A fellow passenger told the New York Daily News, "He was convinced that nobody was flying the plane. He jumped up and reached over the other passengers and lifted up their window cover. Then he tried to get out the airplane. Then he tried to get into the cockpit. He kept saying there were no pilots. It was wild. "

(Cabin crew) found military and police passengers and quietly brought them upfront, and they all restrained him."

Erik released a statement saying, "Brandon informed us recently that he has had stress and pressure at college, and has elected to see an on-campus psychologist. "I told him that it was a good idea to talk to someone. I would like to thank all the women and men of law enforcement, as well as Northwest Airlines, for helping my son when he was clearly not able to help himself. He now can get all the help that he clearly needs."
I'm just glad they didn't taser the guy and leave him twitching in the back somewhere. Obviously the guy needs help because everyone knows the windows on a plane don't open. Now, the exit doors that is another story. I was on an overnight flight and the flight attendants were sleeping or playing cards or drinking, and there was this little 5 year old kid who was jumping up and down on the silver handle of the emergency exit door as he looked out the little window on the door. That seriously freaked me out. His mom came out of the bathroom about the same time I saw him and she just took him back to their seats. No scolding or quick beating with a hanger or anything.


Satutory Rape Ya'll


I know there must be a million articles about Jamie Lynn Spears and her pregnancy, but I haven't seen one mentioning that Jamie's 19 year old boyfriend was arrested for statutory rape. Actually he might be 20 by now, but I don't know for sure.

California Penal Code 261.5 (the statutory rape law) makes it illegal to have non-marital sex with a minor under three circumstances:

1. If the minor is less than three years younger than the defendant, the offense is a misdemeanor.

2. If the minor is more than three years younger than the defendant, the statutory rape offense may be charged as a misdemeanor or a felony, and punishment can be up to three years state prison.

3. If the defendant is 21 or over and the minor 16 or younger, the statutory rape offense may be charged as a misdemeanor or a felony, and punishment can be up to four years state prison.

Sexual intercourse means any penetration, no matter how slight, of the vagina or genitalia by the penis. Ejaculation is not required.

It is not a defense that the other person may have consented to the intercourse.

Under the law, a person becomes one year older as soon as the first minute of his or her birthday has begun.


I think we can safely presume that Casey Aldridge had sex with Jamie Lynn Spears. His own mom said it was true. The only question that needs answering is whether Casey is going to be charged with a misdemeanor or a felony. Of course I guess the police could just choose to ignore the law. I mean Jamie Lynn is famous, and everyone knows that the same law doesn't apply to famous people. We can't have Jamie's baby daddy sitting in jail while his baby is being born. That would be wrong. Kind of like when a 19 year or 20 year old guy can't find anyone to have sex with but a high school junior.

Now you may be asking yourself, "well what if they had sex back in Louisiana? Is the crime different? Maybe 19 year old guys can have sex with minors there."

That's a very good question. Let's look at the law in Louisiana.

"Felony carnal knowledge of a juvenile is sexual intercourse with consent between (1) someone age 19 or older and someone between age 12 and 17 or (2) someone age 17 or older and someone between age 12 and 15. Misdemeanor carnal knowledge of a juvenile is sexual intercourse with consent between someone age 17 to 19 and someone age 15 to 17 when the difference in their ages is greater than two years."

In Louisiana, Casey would be looking at serious jail time and sex offender status for life. Under the law he would be arrested and charged with a felony. For some reason though, I just don't think he is going to be charged. I think that everyone with the power of investigation or arrest will ignore this little tidbit and the authorities will instead go after some other poor guy who doesn't have OK and US Weekly in his speed dial. If you are not going to enforce the laws equally, then just don't have them.

NY Daily News Blind Item

Which diva songstress, as much a legend for her attitude as her pipes, demanded that an L.A. hair salon close for her on a busy Saturday, only to cancel the appointment?

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Today's Blind Items

#1 This former A list film and television star and now a B lister simply because he hasn't appeared in anything in awhile got quite the shock at an event this past week. Seems our closeted gay actor. Oh, did I forget to mention that part? Anyway, he decided to leave the boyfriend at home because there would be too much press, and he didn't want to have to deal with the hassle of arriving separately and adding his boyfriend to the guest list. Seems the boyfriend didn't take kindly to this arrangement and showed up midway through the event demanding to be let in. When asked by security who he was, he said I'm ________'s boyfriend dammit. Since he was causing a scene, he was let in to sort out the story, and eventually our actor came and claimed his boyfriend and headed straight out the door to a waiting car.

#2 Since reaching the age of majority and being able to access his earnings, this former A list child and teen actor has run through almost his entire fortune. With no jobs on the horizon, and an expensive lifestyle to try and maintain, our actor has been selling off almost everything he owns, and is moving back home with his parents. It sounds better than it looks though since our actor did buy his parent's house for them.

Random Photos Part One

Adam Sandler and his daughter Sadie do their best imitation of the Suri and Tom Cruise look-a-like hair.
I'm not sure about this whole Adrian Grenier Jessica Stam thing.
Marcia Cross made sure that Teri Hatcher got one of the bags before they left. I applaud Marcia and Teri for doing this, but the object is to feed the people of the world, and to do that they need food, not just random free crap various companies want to give out to Marcia and Teri. Someone who only gets a bowl of rice everyday is not going to be feeling very well after eating a box of Godiva chocolates. I guess while they are recovering though, they can read the liner notes to the CD's since they probably don't have a damn CD player or electricity to play it.

Wow. This is a random photo opportunity for Liv Tyler. I can tell by the perfectly done hair and makeup.
Mr. Johnny Marr. Enough said.
Jennifer Love Hewitt looks really good for a change. I have been meaning to comment on something she wrote on her website after the bikini photos came out and people said she was fat. She said something along the lines of being a size 2 isn't fat. I agree, a size two isn't fat, nor are many other sizes. What she did though was write it in such a way that people would think she was a size 2 and so horribly wrong in their criticism of her and really look like assholes. The only problem is that Jennifer Love Hewitt isn't a size two and is doing a disservice to women who think she is a size two and therefore try and emulate her. Jennifer Love Hewitt is not fat, but she should also be honest. Also, she should tell her affianced to lose the tennis shoes.
Note to Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes. Nannies and strollers are normal. Not normal like any of us could afford a nanny, but normal for Xenu and brood.
Zsa Zsa Gabor is the great grand aunt of Paris Hilton and was one of the first people to become famous for doing absolutely nothing. I think she is about 90 something so she looks pretty damn good.
Don't know who Sam Saleh is? He is the dentist who knows which stars have some serious meth teeth.
Paris Hilton does her best to help the homeless, destitute, and unwashed during the holiday season.
"Look at me. I'm on television and need much more attention."
Whatever Nicole Kidman's motives, it doesn't matter to James McClelland who is a cancer patient at Sydney Children's Hospital and was Nicole's special guest at a screening of The Golden Compass. Marry Christmas James.

Amy Winehouse Arrested


I don't like to say I told you so, but it was just obvious from the beginning that if Blake's plan had any chance of succeeding he was going to need money, and the only person who had that much money was his wife.

Singer Amy Winehouse was arrested Tuesday on suspicion of attempting to interfere with a court case involving her husband. Police would not confirm the report from Sky News but said a 24-year-old was arrested during an appointment at a police station in connection with an investigation into perverting the course of justice.

Blake Fielder-Civil, as you will recall was ordered held in custody in London last month on charges of perverting the course of justice stemming from a case in which he is accused of assaulting a barman in June.

Fielder-Civil allegedly tried to interfere with a witness' testimony, according to court documents.

The way he tried to interfere was by offering a bribe. The only positive about this for Amy Winehouse is that she doesn't have to worry about making daily visits to the jail; Pete Doherty can practice his smuggling skills; and hopefully Amy will get out of this clean and sober, and divorced.

Rachael Ray Is No Tony Bourdain


Rachael Ray has signed a new two year deal with the Food Network which will allow her to travel the world and keep her husband and his exploits outside the country. In her new pact, Rachael will reduce the number of episode she films of 30 Minute Meals from 80 down to 60 which means they will show approximately 568 repeats of each episode during the year. "Rachel's Vacation," which will premiere January 12, chronicles Ray's foreign sorties, during which she explores foods and lifestyles, visiting everything from street festivals to farmers' markets to shoe shops.

So basically Food Network is saying that Rachael can do what Tony Bourdain used to do for them and now does for The Travel Channel. Wrong. It was bad enough to watch Rachael traveling the US with that $40 a day show. What people always forget is that was for one damn person. Family of four is $160 a day. Not so cheap then huh? What she should have done is walked the streets of whatever town she was in for hours, hole up in her room using the coffee maker to heat up some Top Ramen and throwing together some bologna sandwiches. Now you are down to $5 a day for a family of 4. That is a show.

Anyway, Rachael is going to spread the good word of EVOO to the entire world now. It is all part of Oprah's grand plan to dominate the planet. You don't think Oprah may have whispered to the Food Network executives that Rachael gets this gig or else. See, I want to watch Rachael and Tony each go to Singapore and see who can eat the strangest food and the most food. That would be great television. The only way Rachael's show is going to be any good is if they had a camera trailing after her husband each night.

An Open Letter To Katie Holmes


Dear Katie,

I had intended to just start off this letter with warm birthday greetings. As I am sure you are aware, it is your birthday today. When you entered the world on December 18, 1978, I'm sure your parents had no idea that you would end up where you are today. Actually no parent actually knows where their child is going to end up. When a kid is born, it doesn't say serial killer on his forehead. Anyway, that is here nor there. Let's talk about where you are now as you approach your 30th year on this earth.

Your parents named you Katherine Noelle Holmes and they called you Katie your entire life, as did your friends, peers and mailmen. Not to say that the people who deliver mail are not peers because they are. I was just trying to make a point, and did so rather poorly. To make up for it, I will remind everyone that your mail carriers are so sick of cookies and sweets by this time of the year that they probably are not touching anything you left in the mailbox. However, they are up for some salty at this time of the year. In addition don't just leave good stuff in the mailbox during the holiday season. Remember that cold water in July is just as refreshing as the regifted fruitcake you put into your mailbox yesterday.

At what point did you change your name to Kate? Kate is severe and threatening. Have you seen Kate Hudson and Kate Jackson? Not exactly warm and fuzzy huh? I know it is Tom's fault, but it's time you put your foot down and told him that you prefer Katie and the world prefers Katie. Hell, we just want our Katie back.

You are 29 years old, and looked 50 at certain points during this past year. Each day ages you 10, and it shows. You look more like Laura Bush than the Katie Holmes we all know and love. I have to tell you that despite your constant appearances in front of the cameras this year, there were very few photos of you which I absolutely loved. I posted it at the top so you can see. Yes, I know it shows a lot of cleavage and Tom probably made you do it, but hell, it was his one good idea all year and so credit where credit is due. I don't want you to think I only like it because of the cleavage. I do, because, hey I'm a guy, and it might even be nice to have a guy around who actually likes looking down your blouse. I like the photo because it reminds me of the pre-Tom Katie Holmes. The happy go lucky, not living in a prison Katie Holmes. The I was really starting to get some great film roles and do some great things before I met Tom Cruise Katie Holmes.

I do want to say that you seem to be a great mom to Suri. The five minutes a day you spend in front of the cameras has allowed me in all my years of wisdom to declare you as a fine parent. Actually I can tell you are great because Suri actually seems to enjoy being with you unlike the photos of the similarly hairstyled husband of yours. By the way, what is the deal with that? Did he just wake up one day in his separate bedroom and say, "From now on, Suri and I will have the same hair color and style?" Does his word become law? I'm not real sure about the whole Scientology thing and whether he is your God or John Travolta or some weird amalgamation of Jada Pinkett Smith and Leah Remini. You might want to tell Tom that in his daily photo ops with Suri that he doesn't need to always be holding her bottle. Most guys wouldn't do that anyway. We would just let our overburdened significant others shoulder whatever load wasn't in the stroller. I know you are never outside a vehicle for longer than 5 minutes so this is not a problem, but just tell him it looks staged when he does this. Ditto the fact that there is never a nanny present in public which just makes everything look staged also.

I do want to say congratulations to you on finishing the NY Marathon. That is tremendous, and a proud accomplishment. I know that if Tom wasn't waiting at the finish line you probably would have finished much faster. I hope you enjoyed your time alone, and it was probably the best you felt all year.

As next year rolls around, I hope that when you turn 30 in 2008, that we see the Katie Holmes back we all love and fondly remember. We promise not to look that closely if Tom "disappears" while going out for coffee.

EL

The Drug Abuse Has Damaged Fergie's Brain


I really like the headline Fergie must be back on drugs, but unfortunately after considering the monthly alimony checks, and my gambling habit, I decided I couldn't afford to take any chances and so toned it down a little bit. But, really the only other possible alternative is that Fergie did so many drugs in her youth that they have addled her brain, and not in a Keith Richards, goofy kind of smoking his dad's ashes way.

In her Woman Of The Year interview with Blender Magazine, Fergie compared herself to Princess Diana because she feels she appeals to the public in the exact same way. She says that because she can relate to everyone whether they be rich or poor, or black or white is exactly the same way that Princess Diana related to everyone in the world. She says, "People put celebrities on a pedestal and act like they're perfect. But I'm more like the people's artist - the same way Diana was 'the people's princess.' "I'm a little more human than other artists. I'm not afraid to show my flaws." Well, I will give her this. Fergie is definitely not afraid to show her flaws. She probably doesn't think she has any, but then again judging by the way she usually looks, she probably hasn't looked in a mirror since the last one she used to organize her meth.


Is That A Candy Cane Or Are You Just Happy To See Me?


Not really gossip, but then again, over the weekend was the first time anyone can ever remember Santa Claus being sexually assaulted. A Santa at the Danbury Fair Mall in Danbury Connecticut said a woman wanted to sit in his lap and have her photo taken with him. While they posed for the photo, Santa alleged that the woman reached down into Santa's lap and gave a good squeeze. Apparently Santa was not very jolly about it, but did direct a Ho Ho Ho at the woman, and not in the good sense if you know what I mean.

Sandrama Lamy, 33, of Danbury, was charged with sexual assault and breach of peace. She was released on a promise to appear in court on Jan. 3. Police quickly found and identified Lamy because the woman was described as being on crutches, said Capt. Bob Myles.

A call seeking comment from Lamy was answered by a recording Tuesday morning. A woman later called back and said: "It's a false report and I don't have any idea."

Police did not give the name of the disconcerted Santa, but they said he is 65 and felt badly because children were waiting to see him. "He was apparently shocked and embarrassed by the whole incident," Myles said.

Do you really think all the kids waiting in line to see Santa even noticed that the woman groped him? It wasn't like she was giving him a lap dance or something. I'm not condoning it because if it was a guy sitting on Mrs. Claus' lap and he helped himself to a little egg nog if you know what I mean, he should be charged as well. I do know that the woman will probably get a much lighter sentence than any guy would in a similar circumstance. In fact, depending on the judge, she might just walk away with nothing done to her. If a guy did the same thing he would be looking at least probation, and possibly having to register as a sex offender for the remainder of his life.

Deviated Septum Or Lip Synching Disaster


On her website, Ashley Tisdale gave a reason for her cancellation of two shows she was scheduled to perform this past weekend, but backed out of due to illness. "I'm so sorry I wasn't able to be at the holiday shows this weekend. I haven't fully recovered from my surgery and had to make the difficult decision to cancel the appearances. "When my surgery was scheduled, we didn't think it would be necessary to cancel the shows because my doctor thought I would heal in time. Unfortunately, the deviated septum was more significant than we originally thought so the healing process is taking longer."

Uh huh. I am okay with the deviated septum excuse. Whatever gets her through the day. First of all do you think her fans actually care why she had a nose job? Does anyone care? Just say, "I didn't like my nose, had some extra cash laying around, and decided to go ahead and get it done."

I don't think there is anything wrong with Ashley's nose. She did perform in New York on Friday night, but her performance was absolutely trashed. It wasn't trashed like when she did the worst lip synching in the history of lip synching at the Macy's Thanksgiving Parade (see below), but it was right up there. I think maybe Ashley is a little nervous going out and performing in front of people. It is a lot tougher to make it as a singer when you don't have a recording studio, music editors, and every other gimmick to make you sound as if you can sing. There is no shame in just being an album singer or a film singer. No one is ever going to take Ashley Tisdale seriously as a singer in front of a live audience, and I think that is the reason she canceled the shows in Miami and Philadelphia. Those cities should be grateful actually. The radio stations that sponsored those shows probably had some local group or singer on standby, and rest assured they probably could sing or else they would not have been offered the gig. I predict Ashley's "deviated septum" will be perfect right about the time she needs to start filming High School Musical 3 or 30 whatever number they are on.


Peter Brady Doesn't Like Girl On Girl Action


Confirming my worst fears that perhaps Christopher Knight isn't the man he pretends to be, Christopher Knight has asked for a separation from his wife/nympho Adrianne Curry. In an episode of their reality show My Fair Brady... Maybe Baby, the couple was in the midst of a serious argument about whether or not to have a baby. Christopher Knight, because he is about 100, doesn't want one, while Adrianne Curry who is 18, does want one. And to think they can make 15 episodes out of that. Anyway, Adrianne decided to make Chris' day and year by posing for a series of provocative nude photos with another woman and presenting them to Chris for his birthday. Unlike 95% of all heterosexual men, Chris exploded and said, "It is the physicalisation of my worst fears. It creeps me out. I want a separation."

The episode airs in January of next year. I'm guessing that Adrianne won the argument because she just posed again with a different woman for a series of photos for Playboy. No word on whether Chris has got his balls back.

NY Daily News Blind Item

Which reality starlet wanted $3,000 to attend a recent L.A. charity event, but stayed home in her pear tree when told she couldn't be paid because it was a benefit?


Have you noticed BW is making them much easier lately? I think he is going to do a reveal column.

Monday, December 17, 2007

Today's Blind Items

#1 This first one is easy enough to to understand when you hear it, but is difficult to write down and keep identities somewhat secret. It involves three people. Two women and one man. (W1, W2, M) Our man is a singer. He hasn't really done anything else except for singing. Oh, there was one little television thing, maybe two. But singing his how he got started. W1 is the girlfriend of our man. W2 is not a tax form, but I guarantee you she knows how much you make or what you have been in before she agrees to go out with you. Television hostess, and all around gold digger. Turns out W2 decided she was going to try and get some M because she is so publicity hungry and knows that her romance with M would be really big news. She has been trying for weeks and weeks. When she smells fame she will do anything to get noticed. Our man wasn't interested, and told W1 of what W2 was up to, and all the flirting, touching and clear looks at W2's upper half. How W2 always seemed to be getting in, or out of her clothes when she would invited M to her dressing room. W1 who has been known to swing on both sides of the fence, told M to invite W2 back to their place and maybe W2 would be up for some fun with W1 and M. Our man agreed, but only with hesitation. Turns out he is pretty basic. W2 comes over and is actually open to the idea, but will only do it if M will be seen with her in public for a month so it looks like they could be dating. W1 agreed because she wanted some of W2 and is always up for kink, but what did M say? So far, no happy new couple photos, but the week is young.

#2 This old man still has it. Charmed the hell out of a porn star and took her home.

Random Photos Part One

I am usually very skeptical about a Simpson family member doing anything charity wise. However, Ashlee Simpson truly seems to be enjoying herself and she doesn't have any products she is endorsing in the photo and also didn't announce to the world that she was at UCLA Children's Hospital so she gets the top spot today. Unlike Jessica Simpson, I think Ashlee would be a great mom.
What the hell happened to Celine's left arm. It looks like someone has been using it for batting practice.
It has been a long time since I have seen anyone from the Landry family. I actually thought they would have all been married to rich old men by now. The mom, Judy, in the center is the wonderful role model for the two kids Kristy on the left and Lindsey on the right.
When Jack Nicholson tries, he still can be the coolest man on the planet. It's the other 99% of the time that makes him seem like the dirty old man he is.
I am beginning to really like this John Mayer and Minka Kelly relationship. I like it because they are not all over each other everyday in front of the cameras. It seems like they lead their lives and nothing is staged. Unlike when John was with Jessica Simpson and Pimpa was calling the paps every five seconds to let them know where the couple would be and what Jessica would be wearing, this actually seems normal.
Happy 40th birthday Jamie Foxx. Look at all the damn people trying to get a look at Jamie or just getting their photos on WireImage with him. These photos are now their screen savers.
I've never seen this celebrity this shy. A list in the rest of the world, but really with the success of his movies as of late should be considered B+ list.
How does Will Smith celebrate a box-office record? He is going to open a school. He and Jada decided they should spread the curriculum they use for their own kids to the rest of the world. Jada Pinkett Smith will of course be headmaster and chief disciplinarian.
If you didn't see Sean Hayes in his guest starring role on 30 Rock, you need to hunt it down and watch it.
Sometimes I can feel the fires of hell opening up as I type. This is one of those times. This is so hard to type, but I have to say that Paris Hilton actually looks cute here. She isn't trying to be a whore, and her smile actually seems natural and unforced. I can feel the pitchfork. Burning...so bad.
If you know Meagan Good, I'm guessing she may need a purse for Christmas.
Just as cool and suave as Jack is Morgan Freeman. He is just so damn smooth.

Dammit! I Had 3 Months In The Office Pool


Nine weeks was all it took for Pamela Anderson to decide that maybe marrying Rick Saloman wasn't the best idea she ever had. The happy pair were married on October 6th in a Las Vegas ceremony. They made their first sex tape that night and it has been downhill since. Anderson cited irreconcilable differences in papers filed Friday in Los Angeles County Superior Court.

Of course she should have maybe discovered those differences prior to her marriage. In a wedding that women dream of their entire lives, Pamela and Rick got married between the 7pm and 10pm shows of "Hans Klok's The Beauty of Magic" which is at Planet Hollywood in Las Vegas. The reception consisted of downing shots on the way back to work.

Apparently the divorce became a certainty when the pair could not find any takers for the reality show they were pitching. Immediately after filing the papers, Pamela called Kid Rock and told him she was single again. They have decided to get married in a thirty-five city world tour. Of course that is all crap, but would it really shock anyone if she did do that?

You know it is a damn shame that when a woman sells her body to repay a gambling debt and ends up marrying her trick that it doesn't work out. I think we all thought that this marriage was headed for happily ever after. Meanwhile one of the secretaries had nine weeks in the pool and so has won a nice $5000. Why couldn't they just stick it out for another three weeks? Is that too much to ask? I think the three month anniversary is toilet paper and I had the perfect gift all lined up for them.

Paul Wants Heather To Kill Herself


Is there a phone call that Heather Mills didn't record? I want to hear the phone sex calls between Paul and Rosanna Arquette. Instead what Heather Mills plans to introduce at her divorce hearing is a recording that Paul McCartney made of a conversation he had with his daughter Stella McCartney. Judging by what the recording contains, it must have been made after the pair decided to divorce, but our former porn star being the wily hourly worker she once was managed to get it anyway. In the recording, Paul is claimed to have said: "If we turn up the pressure on Heather, with a bit of luck she will top herself and then we won't have to pay her a penny."

Obviously Heather was distressed when she heard it. Hell, maybe she even went out and had some McDonalds. If it is true, I'm sure it was not intended to be serious. As much as I think Paul is an ass, I doubt he would wish his child to grow up without her mother. Since we haven't even heard the recording, it's possible he may have even been laughing when he said it. The only source for the story is Heather Mills herself and we know what a stable individual she is. I wouldn't put it past her to splice all of her tapes together and make it sound as if that is what Paul said when in reality he might have said something like he was going to take Beatrice to the top of a mountain after he pays her allowance of a penny. I can just see Heather bent over a worktable, cackling to herself as she chain smokes cigarettes and sucks down KFC while splicing bits and pieces of tape together and keeps chanting "laces out" to no one in particular.

Daily Mirror Blind Item

Which model has upset her showbiz pals after becoming famous? She rode on the back of their fame to get spotted and now thinks she's bigger than them...

Melissa Joan Hart Joins The Club



It sucks that Demi Moore started a trend, but she did so I guess we have to give her a tiny bit of credit. No more than that though. Demi Moore got the cover of Vanity Fair for posing naked on the cover while she was very pregnant. Was that Rumer who she did that with? Maybe all those damn lights burning down on the stomach were what has caused Rumer to be such a freak. Speaking of freaks, do you think X-tina's baby will look like her or Jordan? If it is a girl will she also have a beard? Wouldn't be cool if some celebrity baby grew up and worked the Midway circuit. That would be cool. Anyway, the pregnancy naked, and on the cover trend has been followed by countless celebrities since Demi with most not getting any covers at all, or just something like Pregnancy Today or The World Of Cats. Christina Aguilera re raised the bar again by snagging the cover of Marie Claire with all her pregnantness. Now, Melissa Joan Hart, is trying to play the same game. Although I think the former Sabrina The Teenage Witch looks lovely and I enjoy staring at her more than makeup face Aguilera, I fear that Ms. Hart is off to the pages of Sudoku Monthly. I only hope the same fate awaits Jessica Alba, but alas, Cash will be selling those photos to anyone who has $50 and the phone number of a hooker, so Jessica and all her naked, pregnant glory will be displayed everywhere for the world to see.

Keith Urban Spending $1M On Christmas Gifts For Nicole Kidman


I think Keith Urban needs to run away from Nicole Kidman right now. He needs to get away and just leave. There is no way that this relationship is healthy. It seems to me that all Keith does is give and give, and all the wicked witch does is dress like the tin man and make really strange statements about her brainwashed marriage to Xenu.

Over the weekend Keith Urban purchased a $48,000 gold and diamond bracelet from Tiffany & Co. He said it was just a stocking stuffer and that he planned to spend about $1M on gifts for Nicole for Christmas. Meanwhile, Nicole is going through all the gift bags she has received over the past year and checking to see if there is anything she can give to Keith. If not, it is off to the CVS for a bottle of Old Spice, a nail clipper and a box of Whitman.

Regardless of what you think of their marriage, does anyone who reads this blog honestly believe she will come close to spending $1M on Keith this holiday season? Of course not. It just isn't going to happen. She needs to though because ever since she lost that Xenu magic, she has been aging at the rate of a dog. She needs to hold on to Keith like Melanie Griffith holds on to Antonio Banderas' leg as he leaves the house. If Keith goes, Nicole won't get someone like him again. Oh, she will get married or have boyfriends who take care of her, but they will not be of equal ages. She is looking at 65-70 year old guys for her next go round.

I also stand by the fact that when Nicole finally does break up with Keith, he will go on the bender of benders and if anything bad happens as a result, Nicole will never work in the US again.

3Some Woman With Hugh Grant -- Porn Star & Idiot


The woman who was seen making out with Hugh Grant while another man groped her is Shu Qi. The other man is John Duigan who directed Hugh in the film Sirens. It seems that Shu Qi, who is 31 has been staying with Duigan while she explores acting possibilities and extracts every last penny from her host. Qi starred in a number of porn films and stripped off for adult magazines before landing roles in mainstream movies. In 1999, director Ang Lee offered her the lead role in Oscar-winning film Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, but she opted to star in a Coca-cola advertisement instead. Yes, you read that right. Ang Lee offered her the lead role in one of the biggest films in the last ten years, and she decided to suck down some coke and a smile instead.

It's not like the ad paid more or anything. Qi just decided that didn't want to take on the challenge of doing a film, when she could make almost as much money doing commercials and f**king guys on the side for many thousands of dollars night. I looked for the Coke commercial but couldn't find it. I did find a Head & Shoulders commercial that she took instead of the lead in some film called Titanic because she thought movies about ships and boys sounded stupid.

Do Movie Studios Think Texans Are Stupid?


As pointed out in the comments by Mooshki, Jessica Simpson's new film will be released in 8 theaters in Texas on December 21st. Ummm. Am I missing something here? Yes, Jessica Simpson was born in Texas, and still has family in Texas. Her dad "preached" in Texas and Jessica is currently hexing the Dallas Cowboys.

So, did some movie studio guy say, "hey, let's throw that piece of crap of movie down there in Texas and maybe some stupid people will wander in thinking it's that Madonna film, or when everything else is sold out they will come on in. Hell isn't that Luke Wilson kid from Texas also? Hell, everyone will want to see it."

So people in Texas will support Jessica Simpson by spending their hard earned money on a piece of crap film because she comes to Texas for the holidays? People will just walk up top the box office and say, "Hi, I know I am a dumb ass idiot, but we need to show Jessica our support and throw a few bucks into her daddy's pocket because she comes to Texas for Thanksgiving." Plus she's dating Tony Romo. I know she is the worst luck that has ever happened to a team, but maybe if we spend some money on the film, she will go back to Los Angeles and leave Tony alone."

What you have here is someone with a clause in their contract (Jessica) who gets a theatrical release. That way they can say it wasn't straight to DVD, and not have to lower their price for Jessica's "acting" services. Meanwhile, Pimpa does the whole Eva Longoria/Tony Parker thing with Jessica/Tony to get people in Texas willing to support Jessica. Of course he didn't plan on Tony having the worst game of his career with Jessica in the stands. Hopefully Jessica took care of him under the stands with Pimpa "making sure no one comes."

Anyway, here come the Razzies. They don't even need to nominate anyone else. They can even create awards out of thin air and just keep calling out Jessica Simpson's name.

Police In London Wake Up



The above photo is of Amy Winehouse drinking away at 6am yesterday morning. After she got her dunk on, she stopped by the store just like a normal person. Milk, cigarettes and a newspaper.

Amy Winehouse is headed off to the police this week to answer a few questions about her husband's alleged bribery scheme. Why do you ask? If you recall, when he first got arrested, and the tapes of the sting were released, everyone deferred to Amy's husband Blake because he was the one who was going to come up with the money. I think I mentioned that Blake was going to have to steal a bunch of money from Amy's purse or had been squirreling it away over the past few months. There is no way that a guy as cracked up as that kid was ever going to be able to save $100, let alone the many thousands upon thousands to bribe someone. So where was he going to get it?

Amy of course. The only question I would be asking Amy if I were the police is if she knew about the plan, and how could Blake get that much money from her account without her knowing about it? I can't believe it has been this long since they actually brought her in to talk about it. I mean it is pretty f**king obvious that Blake doesn't have any money.

If the police want the truth, all they have to do is question her for an entire day and wait until the withdrawal starts kicking in. Of course at that point she would probably say anything just to get the hell out of there.

NY Daily News Blind Item

Which desperate actress is being sniped about because she has full hair and makeup done before proceeding with charity work, such as serving lunches, to look good for the paparazzi?



And I had been nice to Teri and everything. Serves me right.