Friday, January 25, 2008

I Hope She Has A Good Editor


Lindsay Lohan is writing again. This time though it is more than just one text message so I hope she has a very good editor. Lindsay has started writing her autobiography. I think it is something every 21 year old should do as they have lived such a long and full life and have so much knowledge and wisdom to share with the world. Hell, I think Paris Hilton is on her third biography and she is only 40 or so. I know she is actually younger than that but there is a math formula that states you have to add one year to your life for every fifty people you have sex with. It's why Jenna Jameson looks like she is 100. Trust me I learned all about this is in algebra or one of the metry classes. Trig or Geo.

Anyway, Lindsay is out of cash and so is writing an outline of what she would say and who she would throw under a bus depending on how much cash is offered. Of course she could just sell her stories or photos straight to the tabloids like her dad and thus save us the pain of having to wade through 150 pages of crap. There will be 150 pages of worthless blabbering ghostwritten by someone her dad finds for Lindsay. Therefore every other page will be about how great her dad is. Hell, it will probably sound like Lindsay was raised solely by her dad, and that her mom abandoned her at birth.

After spending hundreds of thousands of dollars on rehab and legal fees, as well as all the other expenses in her life, Lindsay was forced to sell her LA and NY homes because she couldn't make the mortgage payments. I don't have an extra bed, but there is a really stained, beat up recliner she can use at my place if she needs something.

Instead of an autobiography, I think she should write a book about why she picks up guys and has sex with them in the first hour after knowing them, and how come she is not doing that for a living instead of giving it up for free. You would think that if she started charging, she would have to make more than writing some book no one is going to want to read in the first place.

The book is tentatively entitled. "Be Adequite"

14 comments:

Majik said...

Yes, but I think the reason all those guys (and girls) sleep with her is because she's givin' it away.

No one would PAY, man!!

Analogy:

Seller: Hey, I have this broken down ol' cow, here--she still makes milk, but it's a little sour...
Buyer: How much?
Seller: She's yours, man!
Buyer: Free cow? Okay, then.

Change...

Seller: Hey, I have this broken down ol' cow, here--she still makes milk, but it's a little sour...
Buyer: How much?
Seller: $150.
Buyer: Are you kidding? $150 for a cow that gives sour milk? Forgeddaboudit.

mngddess said...

And how does Britney still have money?....

jax said...

why would i pay for that crap when i can look for free on this here lil box in front of me?

we all know EL is gonna post the jucy stuff.

having said that i have a copy of Morton's book on hold right this very min.lol

Tracee said...

Cyn, it's because her albums still sale (even if not many) and she has that perfume. Blohan doesn't have any products.

Harriet Hellfire said...

She could name the book "Me and My Daddy Issues".

Wonder said...

"Be Adequite"...nice one.

p m said...

wasn't there a blind about a NY party host that was having sex in the bathroom with a random within an hour of starting the party? Was that a reveal?

Kara said...

She's so NASTY.

Peek Freans said...

On Celeb Rehab they said that addicts will often turn to sex as a way of fulfilling their need for an adrenaline rush. The riskier the encounter, the more of a high it is. Brit and Lilo both seem to have this problem.

I am just a fount of trivial information. I'm thinking of renaming myself Cliff Claven.

brendalove@gmail.com said...

mngddess - Britney had a sizable catalog of hits and side products. Lindsay had like...what?...3 movies at the most that were super hits?

I shamelessly admit I simply adored Britney Spears' "Curious" perfume. It was a subtle fragrance, not over-powering or alchohol-ish smelling. I recently found someone selling it on Ebay and bought some more. ;-)

Andy P said...

Jeez Ent, what is your problem with her? You don't have this much venom for Longoria. She turn you down or something?

liveunderarock said...

"I am just a fount of trivial information. I'm thinking of renaming myself Cliff Claven."

That is funny ! I gotta remember this one, peek.

Mooshki said...

Andy P, I think maybe people are so pissed about what she's become because unlike so many of the celbutards, she had actual talent that she squandered.

bionic bunny! said...

i think brit had more going on after she reached her majority, too. linds is barely 21, so her "beloved" mummy & daddy benefitted A LOT from her success.

bingo-bango, broke.