Monday, January 14, 2008

Jessica Simpson Destroys Another Career And The Hopes And Dreams Of Millions


I think Jessica Simpson envisioned herself going to Dallas Cowboys games and cheering on her man in much the same way that Eva Longoria cheers on Tony Parker. She must have seen Eva always being shown on camera at games and how she it was nothing but a positive for her. So when Pimpa told Jessica that he had pimped her out to Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo for a few months or until the money ran out, she was probably thrilled.

What Jessica forgot though is that everything she touches turns to dust, while everything Eva touches turns to gold, or at least shines for awhile before turning green. The main difference is that Jessica Simpson is just bad luck, a jinx, or whatever else you want to call it, while Eva Longoria is one of Satan's minions so she has that going for her. I mean how else do you explain the hit television show and boy toy who makes millions. Satan of course. I mean it's obvious. I don't really mind though because I'm a Spurs fan. So Eva could be off sacrificing chickens on Tony Parker's head. I don't really care as long as it gets the team where I want it.

Jessica on the other hand destroys everything she touches. Jessica touched and destroyed her marriage. She destroyed a film career, not only for herself but for several people who have been in films with her. Since appearing with Jessica, most of the people she co-starred with have had nothing but lukewarm films or even bombs. Jessica destroyed not only her own singing career but that of Nick Lachey. It was only after he got rid of her that he had any success at all again. Jessica touched John Mayer and he couldn't get it up again for three months. Jessica touched Bam Margera and shortly thereafter his uncle got thrown in the clink for assaulting teenagers. She touched Johnny Knoxville and within six months he got divorced. Jessica even touched her sister Ashlee on the night everything went to hell on Saturday Night Live. As people burn Jessica Simpson CD's in the streets of Dallas and her image is burned in effigy, she may seriously want to reconsider this whole "reconnecting" with Texas thing she has been trying, because honestly, they don't want her anymore. I don't think anyone wants her anymore actually.

42 comments:

Jolara said...

I'm not a Jessica or Dallas/Roma fan or supporter, but it wasn't her fault. It was a good game.

Angela said...

Funny that she wants to reconnect with Texas. I remember thinking (when she was still a viable product), "Hmmm, for a Texan gal, she sure stays in LA a lot." Not that LA doesn't want her, she wants to come back home. Um, no Jess. We still don't want you. It took us years to get rid of you and you're now California's problem.

Elle said...

Yes! The Packers are super bowl bound...knock knock, don't jinx the next day. Who cares about Romo? Brett Favre is the original man.

But, seriously, it was a great game and the Giants deserved the win. Best part was when T.O. cried.

My take is the Cowboys became too cocky on this one. It's the fatal flaw...

Dijea said...

No, Texas doesn't want her anymore.

jax said...

If the man is that easily distracted he's not much of a player to begin with.
These football fans need to give it a rest and find more hobbies that require doing shit instead of watching someone elses' glory days.

Melissa said...

Seriously...I know it's a joke, but you're making yourself look like an unoriginal idiot for blaming JS about the game.

I don't like her anymore than the next gal, but in the world of media, the joke is pretty tired.

Brenda22 said...

ENT, Seriously. I'm neither a football fan, nor a fan of Jessica Simpson, but come on...you just sound stupid when you keep blaming her for every game they lose. You honestly think when Romo is about to get jumped by those big burly men on the field he's thinking "Jessica, I love Jessica"?
The better team won. Get over it.

califblondy said...

While I've never been a big fan either, I'm starting to feel sorry for the poor girl. What did she ever do to deserve this much negativity?

It was a good game and to think Jessica Simpson had any impact on a football game is just dumb. I bet she couldn't even explain the fundamentals of the game.

califblondy said...

Oh ya, check out nypost.com. According to the Post, it takes credit for the win because of their Jessica look alike.

Jolara said...

califblondy- or spell it! f.u.n. m.e.n. t.a.i.l.s....no, I mean, f.u.n.d. m.e.n.t.a.l.s....is this a test?

mngddess said...

Being a diehard Eagles fan, it killed me to root for the Giants over Dallas. But I did. The better team won. Terrell, you should have kept your damn mouth shut and stayed here. You could catch anything Donovan threw. We probably would have been playoff bound. Anyway, its a winning season for us as long as we beat Dallas. And we did. Heh.

Go Packers!

brendalove@gmail.com said...

Jessica needs to get out of the public eye for about a year and a half.

Jesse D said...

Tony Romo should do his damn job whether he's with Jessica or not.

Everyone would be asking themselves "Ashlee Who??" if not for big sis paving the way.

I don't understand this personal vendetta agains JS. ?? She doesn't strike me as evil as Eva, like you said. Clueless, maybe. Manipulated by her father and then her husband, definitely. Destroyer of all that's good and holy? Not likely.

jax said...

how come you never see any of the guys wives or kids blamed when they lose a game on other teams?

cuz that is just as dumb.

SpiN said...

Thank you, jessica simpleton....thank you for helping the giants win

Trix said...

Romo is a choke artist anyway, he does it all the time, whether or not a gal pal is watching.

Peek Freans said...

Did Jessica touch some of the commenters here, because I think your sense of humor has died. Sarcasm is funny, people!

Are you worried that Jess will get her feelings hurt? Do you really think she needs you to defend her? What is the point of scolding someone for what they post on their personal blog? Just leave, this ain't no democracy.

Cali Girl said...

Did you all see the picture of the airplane banner that flew over the stadium, "Good luck Tony (heart) Jessica"? Girl seems desperate to proclaim to the world that she has a MAN!

http://perezhilton.com/2008-01-14-priceless-3

The Deacon said...

I will take her. Does Pimpa Joe take PayPal?

Cali Girl said...

Deacon - LMAO - Pay Pal - HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA

__-__=__ said...

You know Pimpa Joe takes PayPal!!

Alice.W said...

My whole world IS a democracy, including my visits here. So I say, as I'd said before, picking on JS is like taking sweets from a baby...too easy. Also cruel in a twisted kind of way.

jax said...

Peak Freans..its called a comment section. for comments. comments pertaining to the post. that he posted. that we comment on.
otherwise each post would start with Dear Diary...

im not scolding EL..im saying ANYONE who wants to blame her..needs to rethink that theory.

takeme2espana said...

If Jess is a TRUE Texan....and I know she is...she will go put a big ole' block of cheese on her head for us! Go on now honey! Do it for the Lone Star State! ;)

Twisted Sister said...

I have no problem with either Eva OR Jessica. When someone figures out what they've done to deserve such hate, THAT will be a post worth writing.

Peak, nobody has been harsher (in a FAIR way) towards EL than me, and he/she wouldn't have it any other way.

wtf said...

Good job Ent!!!

Hate Simpson.

Little Miss Smoke and Mirrors said...

I sincerely hope Jessica touches George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, Bill O'Reilly, and whoever wins the candidacy this year for the GOP.

Alice.W said...

I don't think it will be George W Bush;)

califblondy said...

Peeky, nobody appreciates sarcasm as much as I. Sometimes it just gets too much, IMO.

I'm a huge football fan and I knew yesterday that the gossip sites were going to blame JS for TO's tears.

Maybe it's just a slow news day. Unless (until?) Britney shows up for Court.

Err said...

E.L has a point about everything she touches turning to garbage, but yeah, blaming her isn't fair. They should blame Romo because he isn't a good quarterback. I don't even know about football and I know he's awful. I watched yesterday, and my gran could have done a better job.

shan75 said...

i am a cowboys fan and i used to like jessica simpson. i think in this case simpson and romo are both to blame. he should stop thinking with the wrong head during football season, and she should really take a lesson on how to be less selfish!!!

J said...

There are a million reasons to not like Jessica Simpson, but the Cowboys' loss isn't one of them. That whole Simpson family is just beyond comprehension.

Miss X said...

I'm in Dallas and I haven't heard anyone blaming JS for the Cowboys loss. That's just dumb.

meat said...

very-seldom poster here. i think tony romo is overrated. why do people talk about his "legacy" when he cannot even win a playoff game to get to his 1st superbowl appearance? AND, i'm sorry - there's just no crying after a loss in ANY GAME! act like you have a pair - you sure talk it, T.O.!

bewbs said...

Jesse d---- JS used to have light in her eyes.
Harsh vendetta exists against her because:

1. Pimpa Joe: who is going to respect someone swayed by the likes of him?
2. the stupid act hasn't been endearing since Judy Holliday
3. Ill-advised plastic surgery invites criticism
4. Comments that indicate she's genuinely prudish and homophobic
5. Performance runs gamut of uninteresting to dismal
6. Relationships (Romo, etc.) seem transparently manufactured

Lizz said...

These football fans need to give it a rest and find more hobbies that require doing shit instead of watching someone elses' glory days.

Jax, we could say the same about gossip hounds like us who love to read all that juicy stuff about celebrity. It's just a different place to direct that interest.

And they're blaming JS because he went to Mexico with her instead of you know, spending 2 weeks watching game footage. Stupid, I agree but I think that's the main issue.

That and he plays like crap when pretty girls he's dating watch him play. All of the two times it happened.

Beth said...

Haha, I'm with you EL!!!

Romo chose to spend the bye weekend in Cabo partying it up with Jessica and her family (and brought a few teammates) when he could have been watching films of Giants games and really focusing on nothing but football.

Ever since Jessica entered Tony's scene, he's sucked. I cheered SOOO loud when he ended the season yesterday with an interception, losing the game and ending their playoff run.

I hate the Cowboys but I love Jessica for coming along and screwing with Romo's head and focus. Like it or not, discussion about her distracted Tony leading up to the game. He was taking heat for going to Cabo with her all week. And during the game yesterday, even the announcers were talking about it!

Thanks Jess!!

Funny how Gisele Bundchen has been to all of Tom Brady's games and he went 16-0. Cause she stayed completely out of scene as not to be photographed and thus a distraction or comment point about her man. She watched from the wings, waited at the locker room door and kept low-pro. She's not a desperate attention whore like Jess.

Jessica on the other hand showed up at the game in a pink jersey and acted like the attention whore she is. Tony screwed up completely when she was there. Realizing the fans were turning on her, she later stayed away, but she still became the butt of so many jokes and hate as a result. And caused so much commotion and distraction that SHE became a topic of post-practice news conferences all week.

Way to go Jess!!

Moonmaid said...

You know, I'm starting to feel sorry for her. She's like the kid who gets picked on at school for no reason. Enough is enough. There are plenty of other minimally talented pretty girls whose parents are whoring them out that you can pick on.

Leave our poor lil Jess alone!

Laura said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Laura said...

Well, my 2 cents

The court of public opinion turned on her because we all were sold out on her good marraige and sweet life by watching her show Newlyweds-she and Nick were having fun, living the dream...so to end the marriage with absolutely no explanation, the fans feel jipped.

So, really she doesn't owe anyone anything unless she wants to continue to operate with fans (aka consumers of her product) You can't have it both ways-When she 'levels' with us...and comes clean, she will seem genuine again. But instead it was a little bait and switch.

And now, I think that EL is referring to her BAD KARMA...yup, I think that's what is up with her. What you put out to others...

alex said...

romo should've spent more time working on how to deal with pressure instead on building a tan in mexico

Virgo74 said...

It just seems like everything she touches turns from sugar to shit.

She can sing, she just needed better production on her last CD is all!