Friday, February 29, 2008

God I Love The Spears Family


So, I know we aren't really talking about one daughter in the Spears family, but you have to admit that the relatives on both sides of that very narrow family tree are hilarious. They all speak their mind, and are willing to speak it to anyone who waves a wad of cash or a microphone in front of their face. The latest relative to speak out is Uncle Willy. I actually think Uncle Willy may have opened his mouth before, but there are so many relatives it is tough to keep them straight.

Uncle Willy who is Jamie Spears' brother actually lives in a van down by the river. Seriously. I don't know if he gives inspirational speeches, but I love the fact that there is someone who does actually live in a van, down by the river.

Willy told the world yesterday that it is fitting that Jamie Lynn Spears' pregnancy is an accident (although I'm not sure it was an accident at least on the part of one of the participants) because Jamie Lynn herself was an accident. So, if you are reading this for the first time Jamie Lynn, you may want to stop, because it gets even better. Uncle Willy said that Jamie Spears went into a rage, and for the entire pregnancy accused Lynne of cheating because Jamie had a vasectomy after Britney. I think now we all know why.

It was not until there was a DNA test after the birth that Jamie finally acknowledged paternity of the child. Seems like we might have that same kind of situation very soon. Unfortunately we won't be able to get our own DNA test of Jamie Lynn's child, so when they tell us who the baby daddy is, we will just have to baaa like sheep and say ok. At some point though, the truth will come out, so they better be upfront and honest about it from the beginning, because if the truth comes out when the kid is 4 or 5, and they find out the person they have been calling daddy isn't really daddy, then we will have another generation of messed up Spears kids.

23 comments:

Khemenu said...

OMG! A child who was the result of an unplanned pregnancy! The SHAME...except, oh..yeah...a lot of people here in the world weren't really planned.

Uncle Willy is crackers.

Khemenu said...

Also, RE: the whole "who's the daddy" situation...how fucked up for everyone. There's really no good solution if the father is in fact some old dude exec.

He belongs in jail, but the unborn kid deserves to know who his father is.

Twisted Sister said...

Two words about the entire family: white trash

Jac said...

YUp they just get trashier and trashier, obviously money can only hide the trash for so long..:D

Mooshki said...

Finding out her daddy isn't her real daddy is probably going to be one of the least fucked-up things that happens to that kid.

Didn't Uncle Willy say something pervy about Britney before?

Mooshki said...

p.s. I once overheard my dad tell my aunt that my brother and I weren't planned. I asked my mom about it later and she said "well, he didn't plan you." My mom rocks! (And no, she didn't "trick" him into being a father, he just would've kept saying "someday" until they were too old to procreate.)

lyz said...

I have question about the producter/Jamie Lynn thing...so, was Mama pimping her out to the producer? Did he use the casting couch persuasion on her? Was it an older man thrill?

It's funny reading about that "theory" in the rags now. I want to say, I already knew this thanks to Ent!!!

Twisted Sister said...

Mooshki, I thought after a dna test it was determined that Jamie Lynn was Jamie's daughter. That's the way I'm reading it, anyway.

__-__=__ said...

Lyz, I think Momma pimped them both out. How else could they be so messed up?!?!?!?!!?

Twist - I read it the same way.

captivagrl said...

anyone else surprised that Brit never had a log cabin built behind her cement pond?

jax said...

how come whenever we see a bad seed in reality we normally don't crucify the parents but becasue its fricken a celeb its always the parents fault?

i know plenty of fucked up people who have made horrible choices in their lives as teens and adults and their parents had zero choice in the matter.

my parents were amazing and not enablers and my bros and i were still complete asshats. i wouldn't dare try and blame my mom for my bad decisions underage or not. i knew what i was doing.

ok friday rant over lol.

Twisted Sister said...

_-_=_, thanks. As much as I dislike the family, I'd really hate the thought of one of those girls finding out her father wasn't her birth father - especially via the rags.

Cap, no, I'm surprised she didn't have a trailer back there.

Twisted Sister said...

Jax, I've said it before and I'll say it again. It goes both ways. Sometimes the pillars of the community who are great parents have troubled kids, and sometimes the kids who are troubled come from fucked up families. In the case of the Spears family, it seems like the parents are fucked up, so people tend to blame them. It's not like we're talking about people who seem to put the welfare of their children before everything else - we're not.

In your case, though, we'll say your parents were great and the kids were just fucked up. Does that work? ;-)

__-__=__ said...

But I don't think Jax parents were living off him. I suspect they had jobs of their own that didn't include being sure Jax was primped and primed and ready to get up on stage and put on a show so everyone could eat.

I really think that's the difference.

jax said...

...actually you don't know that.

most kids who want fame want it badly..see Ali Lohan. most of the bios i've read about child actors they all approached mom and dad to do this first. how many stories have we heard about lil girls singing into their hairbrush and begging mom to drive them to auditions?
just becaseu her mom was present and overseeing what her daughter is doing doesn't mean she led her down the wrong path or that she was expected to provide for the family. if in fact mom did take time off to be her manager why shouldn't she get paid?

i feel bad for lynn spears..shes damned either way.

shiny_special_one said...

Good god, that whole family is such a disaster.

I can't help it, I keep cracking up at that look on Jamie-Lynn's face.

__-__=__ said...

You could be right about that, certainly. There are an equal amount of parents who want the monkey to dance.

Either way we'll never know I guess.

Grace said...

Did Enty just reveal Tuesday's blind item? From Feb. 25:

"#2 Who's the daddy? That's what everyone wants to know about this singer we don't talk about anymore."

Grace said...

I mean, Monday, Feb. 25th blind item for

#2 Who's the daddy? That's what everyone wants to know about this singer we don't talk about anymore.

Gayla said...

I think I'd actually be kind of annoyed if Jamie Lynn was the answer to that blind. Since it's...not blind to us anymore.

Twisted Sister said...

Grace, I think we all assumed it was Brit, since he uses the word 'singer' and news came out on Wednesday that she's pregnant again.

Jerry said...

{when}they find out the person they have been calling daddy isn't really daddy, then we will have another generation of messed up Spears kids.

I don't think we're gonna have to wait that long to see if the the next Spears generation is gonna be messed up. We probably can make that call right now.

Marnie said...

Poor kids. They'll either be sold into fame slavery, or abused for the rest of their lives for being the 'cause' of the family's fall from grace. Whacked in the head with a TV Guide every commercial break.