Friday, February 15, 2008

I Just Assumed


Well you know what they say about assuming. I didn't run a full post about Gary Coleman and his new wife, but rather just made some comment that having a wife would finally allow him to get some after a 40 year dry spell. Well, I was wrong. Seems that the woman Gary married has managed to avoid her tiny husband for the few days of their marriage. I guess she told Gary she wasn't the kind of girl to have sex before marriage, so Gary being a horny 40 year old married her. Hell there probably wasn't even a pre-nup. I mean he makes his money by advertising check cashing places, so to him this was a no brainer. The only problem is that his wife also doesn't seem to be the type who has sex after marriage. At least with Gary. Oh, I'm sure if you run into her she will have sex with you no problem, but for some reason she still hasn't found the courage to be loved on by Gary.

In an interview with ET, he alluded to the fact that it might be an issue of his own making, but somehow I doubt that. The former child actor said: "It's my business, it's my issue and I really don't think it's a problem.

"I don't choose to be one (virgin), I just am. I have love in my heart, I have the desire; I just don't know what it is.

"It'll happen when it'll happen, and it'll happen for all the right reasons."

Well Gary I have to tell you that you need to do it soon. Your wife Shannon Price is about as good as you are going to get groupie wise at this stage of your career. After Shannon it is a quick slide down to Michael Jackson's ex or doing Todd Bridges in the back of a car.

12 comments:

PaleBlackSheep said...

something is up with this marriage, reality TV show anyone?

Les Suckno For President said...

Gary Coleman gets about as much pussy as you do, eh Ent?

Trix said...

Funny that it comes out now that he's still a virgin. The first articles I read about this relationship seemed to indicate that they had consummated the relationship.

Rare Avis said...

I think we should get together and buy him a new checkers set. Anyone?

jax said...

sorry folks Gary is GAY. he's neen married to a decently attractive women since AUGUST...he's always pinged my Gaydar.

This isn't about saving himself it's about being scared to come out and be who he is. his responses sound like Clay Aiken.
sad.

Visman said...

His career would be destroyed if he came out at this point.

jax said...

lol i hope that was sarcasm visman!

Mooshki said...

My favorite thing about this story is how all the headlines read "Gary Coleman's Secret Marriage." It wasn't a secret, it's just that no one was interested until Britney's lock down made them desperate for celebrity gossip.

captivagrl said...

shopping a reality show, yup. in every interview she talks about the violence in the relationship. yeah, we're going to fall for that crap. she gets some $$$ and exposure and he can pretend he's not gay and irrelevant.

Majik said...

This is just all kinds of wrong.

diego said...

Jax, how do you know that he is gay? I had never heard that before. I always feel a little sorry for him - he reminds me of the unpopular kid at school who sets himself up to be made fun of just to get some attention.

Wonk said...

I don't believe for a second that he's a virgin. He definitely could have had sex with women unless he lacks confidence about his size and avoided it because of that.