Friday, February 22, 2008

Ted C Blind Item

Yep, it’s yet another fagola Blind tale. Get used to it, is all I have say—this town’s friggin’ filled to the brim with boy-lovin’ boys who don’t exactly want the world to know that’s how they swing. Except perhaps when their sexuality supposedly prevents them from employment. Take the case with Cress Finesse, one of those hybrid dudes who does it all at one of the studios, including directing films known for their mucho classy ambition.

Howev, Cress’ deal (C.F. has other gigs elsewhere, to be sure) was not picked up at that par-tick place of employment. Understandably, this did not please Cress. In fact, Cress, a handsome enough guy who knows his way around fine-tuning his appearance, felt especially uglied by the unfortunate sitch. So much so that Mr. F went to the powers that be who dismissed him and threatened legal action—sexual-orientation discrimination, to be exact—for not picking up the big entertainment deal at hand.

Cress’ employers were more than taken aback. They claimed they just wanted to start moving in a "different direction" than the type of work Cress was famous for. But both parties knew the score: C.F.’s frolicking—and sometimes messy—bedroom habits did play a part in the end. It remained a fella fact the studio higher-ups just weren’t too kosher with, such fools. And even though the reticent execs never thought C.F. would follow through suitwise, they did settle.

Which pleased Cress enormously. So would he have sued? Prolly. After all, Cress is getting on a bit. He’s growing tired of the facade. Gosh, must be the only homo in town who is.

34 comments:

wildflower said...

"And it ain't: Ron Howard, Mel Gibson or Dan Futterman"

Kristen S. said...

Quentin Tarantino?

mandythegreat said...

I swear, the way Ted writes just makes me twitch uncontrollably.

That said, I shall have to research this, but I'm thinking Richard Donner. Maybe Tyler Perry. I'm going to have to research. I really want it to be Tyler Perry, since I just plain don't like him.

Ice Angel said...

Kristin-you beat me to the punch-has to be Quentin

canadachick said...

someone on eonline thinks Tom Cruise - Ron Howard directed him, Mel played a character called Maverick, and the last dude had a documentary called The Cruise......but i'm not feeling it.

Gayla said...

Wow, you're up early...

So I didn't understand ONE WORD of the second paragraph (and apparently the second half of the first, or else I would have figured out what didn't get picked up by whom and why). And I know people say that all the time, but I really mean it this time. I do not know what he is saying! Except that someone is gay, and even though he's in the closet was going to sue for discrimination, so the studio settled. I guess that's all that matters but good grief, this was terrible.

So Finesse is about appearances apparently. A pretty-boy, well-groomed, something like that. Quentin is...not pretty to me. So I'm inclined to say it's not him. That's just a matter of opinion though. 'Fine-tune' like a car though, and I know Quentin directed Death Proof (his half of Grindhouse, specifically about the crazy guy who likes to kill women with his car). So maybe it is him. Who else has made a movie about a car?

Tyler Perry is a VERY good guess though, mandy. There have been gay rumors about him for a while (granted, almost any man who continuously dresses in drag for fun will get that regardless, but still, it's there) and when he came out with his last movie he pitched a mini-fit throughout the media b/c he felt the industry wasn't giving him due credit, didn't think his film would do well because it was a 'black' film which never do well. But then it was number one its opening weekend so he got his 'neener-neener' moment.

Gayla said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Gayla said...

Thinking on it more, Tyler Perry would fit much better than Tarantino when it comes to the 'handsome enough guy who knows his way around fine-tuning his appearance' part. Maybe fine-tuning isn't a reference to cars after all; it's Ted C so who really knows what the hell he's talking about anyway?

But back to Perry, he is pretty clean cut and as he dresses as a woman a lot, he would know about 'fixing' his appearance with make-up. Mucho classy ambition, though. What does that mean? Unless it's some form of irony. Madea isn't exactly a classy broad.

This BI would also make sense for Perry as he could throw in race and have a very nice case in his favor. I can see the studio using the 'different direction' excuse as Perry is famous for a specific type of movie (Madea, Af-Am family films) but his movies actually make money so everyone with half a brain would know that's a poor excuse. And something about Perry strikes me as not really giving a shit who knows he's gay for real, just keeping it on the low because that's what he's expected to do.

So yeah, I think mandythegreat did a good job on getting this one.

captivagrl said...

Eli Roth?

Doc Girl said...

Ryan Seacrest. He does a lot of different work, but I don't know if he has directed anything.

Bryn said...

Kevin Spacey? Actor, producer, but only directed 2 films, one being "Beyond the Sea". Getting on in age, and tired of the facade...

Twisted Sister said...

Not Ryan, he's been the subject of other blinds using a different handle.

I don't think Tyler Perry or Quentin T. are known for directing films known for their mucho classy ambition either.

Who is known for their classy ambitions? Clint Eastwood, Robert Redford. I doubt it's them, but someone along those classier lines, I think.

Trix said...

I am going to go more in the direction of Quentin. Honestly, I think if it were Tyler Perry, this would be about him threatening a lawsuit based on race, not orientation, and this blind only mentions orientation. This blind also says the execs wanted to head in a different direction than the director's usual fare, which wouldnt make sense with Perry in that his career is just taking off, he doesnt have as many movies under his belt, and people are still wanting more. Perry is just getting started in comparison to Quentin,who on the other hand, has tons of quirky thrillers and action movies under his belt.

captivagrl said...

quentin may be a lot of things, but HANDSOME aint one. still think it's Eli Roth. he does it all: actor, writer, director, producer, etc. if "classy" means horror trashy...it's him.

Twisted Sister said...

Cap, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. If someone is really homely, they could think Quentin T. is handsome. ;-)

scumkid said...

what about forrest whitaker?

Craig said...

This cannot be anyone else but Clooney.

Tyler Perry is not known for directing films known for their mucho classy ambition. Clooney is. And the "Cress Finesse" moniker fits him perfectly.

Twisted Sister said...

I doubt Clooney would ever threaten to sue based on sexual orientation discrimination. If he would do that it means it was common knowledge in the industry that he was gay - and it's not common knowledge in the industry that Clooney is gay. Especially since Ted says the person would have gone through with the lawsuit if they hadn't struck a deal. It's not Clooney.

butterfly said...

Ted should really teach classes on how to translate his writing. I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who finds him confusing at times.

butterfly said...

Ted should really teach classes on how to translate his writing. I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who finds him confusing at times.

smooches said...

totally Seacrest...Cress...Seacrest...get it? Also, he's producing a bunch of shows for E such as the kardashians..."mucho classy ambition"...

Twisted Sister said...

Smooches -

1) Ted uses a different name for Ryan in his blinds.

2) The blind says, "including directing films known for their mucho classy ambition."

Ryan does not direct films.

sillyme said...

I think it's George Clooney. I read somewhere that when one of the drunken celebutantes was asked what is one of the biggest secrets in Hollywood, she answered, "That George Clooney's gay," without hesitate. He is perceived as classy. It all fits.

Twisted Sister said...

I always wonder about these stories because my cousin was a recording engineer in CA and his wife had a job for a studio and knew many in the industry and she said nobody thought he was gay.

I think I'll take her word over a drunken celebutante...lol.

Judi said...

I don't think anyone in the industry thinks Cloon's gay; I think the public thinks he's gay.
Question: Did he just lose a deal at a studio? Who did?

Mia said...

THE CLUES

*directing films that have a classy ambition "Frequently involves himself in projects involving the "Golden Age" of television." per imdb
*handsome guy w/ fine tuned appearance always the sexiest man alive etc etcs, and nrver changes his look/haircut etc
*hybrid dude/does it all (Re: his film career of indie films vs commercial films "I'm a hybrid. I succeed in both worlds.")
*'getting on a bit' in age

and it aints...
mel gibson (and nic cage, eww) was notoriously almost cast in clooney's part in 3 kings

ron howard- another actor turned director after amassing a substantial resume

dan futterman- just finished working with bestie brad pitt's production co on a mighty heart



the best part is that clooney could have been threatening to sue for sexual discrimination, or just been talking shit, but he clearly fits the clues the best.

i mean come on, tarantino? groomed? eww.

Mia said...

the syllables match too, btw.

george clooney

cress finesse

Brandy said...

I think It's Clooney as well he does all the smart/classy political movies that don't make money at all but they're critically successful.

diego said...

The only thing with George Clooney is who would ever describe him as "a handsome enough guy?"

I thought of Mike Myers for some reason. He is supposedly out but not publicly out and Ted C. makes reference to kosher (isn't he Jewish?).

Christoph said...

What about Brian Singer? He did the Usual Suspects and Apt Pupil. It came out recently that he's not directing the next Superman movie (they're going in a different direction). He's somewhat known as gay but at the same time it's not the most common knowledge.

mngddess said...

I think Ted WANTS everyone to think it's Clooney so it throws you off. I too know someone who's worked in the business for a long time and he says Clooney's NOT gay. And I'm fairly sure Clooney's production company, (Smokehouse), has a good relationship with Warner Bros.

sauvage said...

I like the Bryan Singer guess. And what about Michael Bay?

Winterjanuary said...

Oh come on, it's not Brian Singer, that guy has been out and proud for years.
The George Clooney guess is just pathetically ridiculous.
As for Kevin Spacey... "growing tired of the facade" ??? He's consistently keeping on denying he's gay, fiercely protecting his private life, and the latest London rumours seem to confirm his statement... much to the gays' confusion and despair ;-). So...

Azrael said...

I'm taking this from another board:

"I think I finally found out who Cress Finesse is most likely to be. Forget about Spacey (although he might be vicariously involved in the project) and take a look here :

http://www.empireonline.com/news/story.asp?NID=22165

Clues:

– One of those hybrid guys who does all (Bryan Singer is a director, actor, writer, producer…) http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001741/
– Directing films known for their mucho classy ambition (“X-Men”, “the Usual Suspects”)
– C.F. has other gigs elsewhere to be sure (“Valkyrie”, “You want me to kill him?”, “The Mayor of Castro Street”)
– Fine-tuned appearance (Singer)
– Kosher (Bryan Singer is Jewish)
– And Bryan Singer is gay, but he’s been obliged to keep a low profile about it because of the unwelcome “Superman is gay” rumors initiated by the gay press (especially The Advocate), which supposedly compromised the success of the movie “Superman returns”, hence the execs’ reticence about keeping Bryan Singer as the director of the sequel."

Quite convincing, in my opinion.
And if the story is true I must say I don't blame Mr Singer.