Friday, February 08, 2008

Tom Cruise Lives Gay Man's Dream


Now that I think about it, dating David Beckham would probably be more of a gay man's dream than dating Cher, but honestly, you just never know. If there was no sex involved, then Cher might stand a little chance. Anyway, yesterday as Cher was doing her rounds for her 300th annual comeback tour. Yes, I do believe it is 300. Lets see, if she was born in the 1700's, and, then carry the one, yep it would fit. This is Cher's 300th comeback, this time in Las Vegas, and during her media blitz she confirmed that she once in fact had dated Tom Cruise.

Yes, back in the early 80's before Bagel Boy there was Tom Cruise spending the night and borrowing the car. I doubt they were friends with benefits because Cher isn't shy about saying what is what and she didn't go that far with her pronouncement. She instead limited her answer to they dated, and that Tom was "just the most adorable man you can imagine".

Well actually my imagination is filled with a drool flying rant aimed at me and you and you and you and even you Cher. But I will take your word for it that he must have done something to you or for you to make you call him adorable. Perhaps you held your car keys above your head and made him jump up and down for them until you laughed and laughed. I like to think that since this was the early 80's that maybe he did his Risky Business dance for you while you and your friends ate popcorn in your living room and threw him dollar bills. Considering that you were pushing 40 when you dated him and he was just starting out, that you practiced that really awkward love scene he has with Shelley Long in Losin' It. Yes, it had no "g" because it was hip and now and kind of resembled real life as Tom Cruise was doing it with a woman in her 40's and didn't really know what he was doing. Unfortunately it just looked stupid in real life, but to Cher, it definitely could have been adorable. I mean she was married to Sonny Bono.

17 comments:

Gossip Monger said...

why are all these women coming out now and saying they all had a piece of tommygirl? Hmmmm methinks prez bush should hire tommygirl's pr firm so that he will be remembered as a great president- tommygirl will always be gmd to me.

xenu is working overtime.

which actress do you think will come out next saying that she too was part of the gaggle of women gmd has been with?

Les Suckno For President said...

Cher should get tested for HIV.

Jolara said...

LMAO!!!

"...maybe he did his Risky Business dance for you while you and your friends ate popcorn in your living room and threw him dollar bills."

MontanaMarriott said...

They dated... till she came home to find him lipsynching and wearing her IF I COULD TURN BACK TIME outfit and WIG, lol

DNfromMN said...

Ent - yes, dating David Beckham is a much more appealing dream than dating Cher.

And I think it's funny that Cher looks more like a man in that photo than Tom Cruise. And Tom has facial hair. (That's an insult to both of them.)

Twisted Sister said...

How big is that head of hers? Or is his just petite?

wtf said...

So the $cio's have something on Cher too. I wonder what?

plot said...

Cher is being a good sport. She seems like the type who would stand up for an old friend regardless of their idiocy. Note, she isn't exactly warmly hugging Tom in this photo. She is closing her eyes and letting him touch her.

But why does Tom ALWAYS have to clench women this way. Look at him! It's like a death grip! And those teeth! Does he want to bite flesh or something? This guy is very, very strange.

jax said...

god i swear tommy has new teeth everyday...those chompers are unreal.

Twisted Sister said...

I don't think Scientologists have anything on Cher. She's just being gracious.

Of all the people in the world, I think Cher would be the one who would call bullshit if they tried recruiting her.

takeme2espana said...

Cher is embraced by the gay community, why wouldn't she embrace TC right back? Duh? I like the "jumping for her car keys", such a visual!
Twisted, I thought the same, my Lord, her head is HUGE compared to his, I retract my Grand Poohpah statement, he's a mini-poohpah!

Twisted Sister said...

Takeme, the more I look at her the more she looks like a Macy's parade float.

brendalove@gmail.com said...

ENT, you are on fire today with the snark. Keep it coming.

Majik said...

Perhaps you held your car keys above your head and made him jump up and down for them until you laughed and laughed.


lmfao

crichmond1000@yahoo.com said...

I can just hear him doing that crazy laugh again. He's saying CHERRRRR!" while squeezing arm and shaking her too hard. She kind of looks like she was trying to get past him w/o him seeing her.

I think the blonde hair is interesting. I don't love it, but it sure got my attention.

Moonmaid said...

Let's not forget, we're talking about a woman who once dated David Geffen! For a long time!

Maybe she likes sexless boyfriends. Sonny probably made her do all kinds of pervy things when she was a teen bride.

Twisted Sister said...

Moonmaid - TOO TRUE!!!