I didn't think it was possible for a magazine to open any wider, but somehow People Magazine has managed to open their mouths a little wider, and got their nose even browner. Look, as I have said before, this is not a political site and I really don't care who you vote for in whatever country you live in as long as you get out and vote.
Let me copy and paste the relevant quotes. The following is from an interview Sarah Jessica Parker had with People over the weekend. They are discussing her son.
"He's very into Barack Obama. On his own!"
Oh, really? So your kid who is 5 right now, sits in front of the television and while he is debating whether or not he should eat his booger he is also deciding on the merits of the upcoming US Presidential election. No doubt he split screens Fairly Odd Parents with Hardball and Hannity & Colmes just to keep abreast on the situation. After analyzing all the candidates he selected Obama.
"He's really, truly into this election," she says of her little guy's interests. "He's come to this conclusion on his own based specifically on Barack's gender. It's that deep. He's a fan and a true supporter of Barack Obama."
How can a five year old be really and truly into an election? I bet if you walked up to that kid right now and asked him who were the three candidates left he wouldn't be able to tell you. I guarantee he doesn't even know what the hell a president is. Yes, I know your kid is a genius so don't e-mail me. Every kid is super and fantastic and brilliant and gorgeous. That is why there are no ugly people in the world and everyone is a rocket scientist.
Aside from politics, Parker, 43, says James loves building things and spending time with his mommy and daddy.
I can't believe People used that sentence in a magazine that is actually published. You have got to be sh**ting me. It sounds like a f**king Christmas letter you would send out to all your friends at the holidays. I swear to God the reporters at People must have the most intense orgasms when they write this crap or else why on earth would they do it? Could be coke. Didn't think about that. Get them all addicted to crack and they only get some when they write something which eliminates any dignity they once had as journalists.
"Right now he's pretty taken with both myself and my husband. So we'll play blocks with him and he's really into Legos right now and he's really into Star Wars."
Wow. He is taken with mom and dad. Well, I guess he could be having a relationship with the nanny. Who the else does a 5 year old see on a regular basis? Yes, their teacher and friends at school, but the other 16 hours a day he is with mom and dad or nanny, and so he doesn't really know anyone else to be taken with.
And the Sex and the City star is savoring every minute she has with her son because, she says, "It's only a matter of time before he doesn't want me around."
Way to get in that movie plug. They had a plug for her other film as well in the article. Actually this is not an article, it is just garbage they are pretending is an article.
"Honestly, I love to do everything with him as long as he will have me around," she says. Even "brushing his teeth with him is enjoyable right now."
I'm okay with that sentence actually. She fails to mention the 30 times she has to yell at the kid to brush his teeth, but she probably has to yell at Matthew Broderick 30 times a day to stop talking dirty to Nathan Lane so it all probably gets lost in the shuffle.