Friday, March 14, 2008

Ted C Blind Item

Love Life is a smart flick that became a megahit with everyone from teens to adults, with some critical trophy amour thrown in for good measure. Shark Wankberg, a supersuccessful catch (some say), was the main man behind funding the somewhat quirky film. However, the only reason the damn movie got greenlighted in the first place wasn’t because of the offbeat script that floated all over T-town, but because Sharky wanted to sleep with terribly classy Sheila Slurp-Never, who was famously attached to the project.

See, Sheila’s been a rising star since she first stepped onto the silver screen. Shee-babe’s respected and talented—not to mention quite doable—and S.W. set his sights on bedding the hon some time ago, trust. But as Ms. Slurp-Never puts up such a good act of being the pissy, high-minded brainy type, the horny dude never thought he had a chance getting the broad between the sheets. But that certainly didn’t mean Shark didn’t try his utter best.

Mr. Wankberg saw to it to lay out the cash to get Love’s production rolling along, using his producer power as an excuse to get closer to SSN. And sometime during the filming of the movie that would actually turn out to make millions, Sharky finagled an opportunity to wine and dine Sheila on his yacht, and they did, indeed, do the deed. Turned out to be a piece o’ (very expensive) nooky cake for Shark, much to his slutty surprise.

Regardless, the S’s stealthy sexploits were kept hush-hush—could it be because SSN is a few decades Shark’s junior? Or maybe it’s because Sheila found out about Sharkie’s funding favor for the film and felt obligated to him? Doubt it. She be a horncat, that babe.

On a power-salacious side-note, Ms. Slurp-Never’s costar was also sneaking beneath the sheets with one of the flick’s other producer-types, though less scandalously so since their ages (and intentions) were more on the same page. Boring!

71 comments:

lawnjart said...

Juno?

Lauren said...

This has to be Juno, right?

AnaC said...

The movie details sound like a yes for Juno but none of the other details fit. Ellen Page only became a "star" with this movie. Jennifer Garner worked in tv first. I love Allison Janey, but somehow I don't see her being the object of lust for the producer.

I think the actress might be Natalie Portman, Keira Knightley or possibly Scarlett Johansen?

Irishstayc said...

and it aint's are Parker Posey, Jaimie Lynn Spears, Virginia Madsen. WOw that's a wierd trio... and my brain hurts from reading this to try to figure out the connection

DNfromMN said...

Aren't we supposed to match the syllables of the nicknames to the people? Or has that not panned out?

It has to be Juno. Ellen Page has gotten good buzz previously for Hard Candy and her tiny role in XMen 3 for taking down the Juggernaut. Good fer her on bein' a horncat. :)

I thought Enchanted possibly, but Amy Adams's costar was Idina Menzel and she's married (which would make it scandalous).

DNfromMN said...

the ain'ts confirm Juno:
Parker Posey = Ellen Page in 20 years

Jamie Lynn = Juno clue, teen pregnancy

Virginia Madsen = ? dunno, maybe a hint to Allison Janney somehow?

Irishstayc said...

But isn't it pretty well known that ellen page is a lesbian? And since she looks about 12 would Ted call her "doable"?

la mexicana said...

Hello everyone! Well, Juno immediately popped into my head but also Knocked Up. Katherine Heigl comes off as the pissy type and this movie definitely put her on the map. Plus it made MILLIONS... Dunno, just a hunch.

Marnie said...

The best guess on the E! page is Scarlet and the producer of "He's Just Not That Into You" (also produced "Little Miss Sunshine"). The other producer dating a castmember is Drew Barrymore dating actor Justin Long.

But it would be more interesting if this were about Natalie Portman.

jlb said...

The only other movie I could think of is Penelope / Christina Ricci as the actress. But the "ain't" clues lean to Juno for sure.

laura said...

Tim Bevan and Kiera Knightley from Atonement

Natalie Portman and Michael Shamberg from The Garden State

Rebecca said...

I thought of Katherine Heigl and the movie Knocked-Up.

Rebecca said...

But I don't think KH is respected and talented. Who knows.

Rebecca said...

dnfrommn, Virginia Madsen is blonde and doable.

mcsully said...

Natalie Portman and Harvey Weinstein. One of the distributors for Garden State (which came out in 2004) was Miramax. Weinstein was at Miramax until fall of 2005.

Twisted Sister said...

I wouldn't consider Keira to be terribly classy, either.

I did think of Toni Collette and Little Miss Sunshine, but I'm not sure the rest fits.

Rebecca said...

I change my mind.. this has to be Natalie Portman. Isn't she a self-proclaimed "boring" type? She did make some sort of statement in which she said she was boring or that people thought she was boring. And of course Slurp-Never... can we honestly picture this one (Portman) getting down and dirty?

Twisted Sister said...

DN - the names Ted uses don't ALWAYS match in syllables. Perfect example is Toothy Tile doesn't match Jake Gyllenhaal.

john said...

Garden State was not a hit.

Twisted Sister said...

The Devil Wears Prada?
Little Miss Sunshine?

Andrea said...

Isn't Harvey Weinstien gay? Like, really really gay??

Nehebka said...

I think it might be Scarlett Johanson (sp) for 2 big reasons. One she is highly doable. Two in the clue he said hon. Well in Baltimore there is a cheeky phrase that goes "It's Baldamore hon" well "He Just Isn't That Into You" Just finished filming in Baltimore.

DNfromMN said...

But He's Just Not Into You isn't out yet.

We're looking at a movie that was "a megahit", AND had some awards love (at least a Golden Globe, probably Oscar).

unicorn jones said...

Juno just doesn't sound right. Scarlett is a good guess for Sheila Slurp-Never, but what is the movie?

As for Ms. Slurp-Never's costar who is boning a producer type, I thought of Jimmy Fallon and Nancy whatshername, but I can't think of any movies Jimmy Fallon has been in that have been hits

And I don't think Ted would be this obvious, but has anyone else noticed how closely Shark Wankberg sounds like "Mark Wahlberg" ??

maybe Shark Wankberg is Adrien Grenier or whatever that dude's name is from entourage (as his character is based on mark wahlberg's live)

unicorn jones said...

*life

Brandy said...

I don't understand why ppl think it's Juno it didn't make millions of dollar. As I was reading this Scarlett Jo popped in my head and after reading it again Nat Portman, Kiera Nightly, and Kate Bossworth. Natalie P seems boring and so does Kiera Nightly and after reading other comments Kate Heigl makes sense... isn't she the new Julia Roberts?

parisss said...

Anne Hathaway or Natalie Portman seem like big possibilities. Scarlett doesn't seem prude, isn't it rumored she did that one actor in an elevator? Juno fits the movie, but Ellen Page doesn't seem "highly classy". No offense intended. Anne Hathaway in Devil Wears Prada is my only thought. Nat Port really wasn't in too many movies (besides Star Wars) that teens and adults would love.

Twisted Sister said...

Andrea, no. He's a pig and he's married (2nd time) and rumor has it that the reason Gwynneth got the role in Shakespeare in Love - after she stole the script from Winona Ryder while staying in her home - was that she did him.

EWWWWWWWWW!!!

Angie said...

My first thought was that this is an old one and he's talking about Love Actually, and the star is Keira Knightley, but I had Harvey Weinstein in mind, and I don't believe he was involved with that fim. Does anyone know anything about the producers of Love Actually?

parisss said...

I'm trying to think of a movie that we knew an actress was attached to before production even began. It's ringing a bell, but I can't place it in my head.

And although I doubt it's Scarlett Johansen, what about her in Lost in Translation? Anna Faris was in it too.

Eve Montana said...

@ Brandy: Where have you been? Juno grossed over 100 million dollars.

sloanegal said...

twisted Julia Roberts was the one 'attached' to the role in Shakespeare. (She wanted Daniel Day Lewis for the lead.) Casting was done by director after Miramax bought rights after several years making the rounds. Uma Thurman(kill bill), Scarlett Jo (Lost in Translation) or even Charlize Theron (Monster) would be good guesses as they all were famously attached to projects in order to sell/finance.

Twisted Sister said...

Parisss - wasn't Scarlett already signed on for the second Woody Allen movie before she even completed the first?

I don't think it's her either, but maybe that's why it sounds familiar.

parisss said...

Twisted- she was, but that isn't what I was thinking of. I'll think of it at 3 in the morning when I'm trying to sleep! Ha!

Twisted Sister said...

Sloanegal - for once I'm sure about something. ;-) It was Winona Ryder.

Check it out here:

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=Paltrow+%2B+Winona+%2B++Shakespeare+In+Love+from&btnG=Search

sloanegal said...

twisted checked out your link, LOL. Scripts were sent to the big names @ that time I would imagine. Another to check out is: http://www.spring.net/karenr/articles/newsday31499.html
where it tracks the movie's production history. I think the writers here used the Julia Roberts chasing DDL for the role as a blind at one time.

Twisted Sister said...

You're probably right about that, but in the case of S. in Love, Paltrow definitely stole the script and contacted Harvey.

I do remember the blind you're talking about, but EL never revealed who the actor was that she went across the pond to make a pitch to. Do you have a link stating it was DDL? I think many of us thought it was someone else, although I can't recall who now.

In fact, DDL dated Julia Roberts before that, so I'm not sure it was him.

These all seem to run together after a while, don't they?

parisss said...

Lost in Translation was produced by Francis Ford Coppola. Sofia Coppola wrote it, so it isn't surprising that he'd fund/produce it. But he is weathy enough to have a yacht, wine & dine an actress(he has his own winery) & SOME would call him a "catch". Not because of being sexy, but wealthy. I'm starting to lean to Scarlett. She has been acclaimed since her acting start, she is taken seriously, and she is (I'd like to think) a horncat.

sloanegal said...

twisted it's in the Newsday link.

http://www.spring.net/karenr/articles/newsday31499.html

exact quote: Julia was getting more and more antsy," Norman says. "She wanted Daniel Day-Lewis, whom we had gone after in a very appropriate way six months earlier and [who] turned us down. She got it into her head that she could talk him into it."

Roberts grabbed a plane to Dublin and spent a weekend attempting to woo Day-Lewis. Snubbed and Will-less, Roberts abandoned the project.

parisss said...

Oh, now I feel bad- Coppola is very married, and has been for over 40 years. Nevermind.

captivagrl said...

amanda peet and claire danes came to mind

nycer said...

Don't feel guilty parisss, most films have many producers/financiers. LIT had Bill Murray attached not Scar Jo if I remember right and lots of indie foreign financing. I read this as a "rising star since she started' not necessarily young and rising now. Definitely w/ critical acclaim plus good box office, so not Heigl or Juno. I guess Uma & Charlize would fit.

captivagrl said...

"turned out to be a piece o'(very expensive) nooky cake for Shark, much to his slutty surprise" why the suprise? what was the expense he didn't count on? preg? blackmail?

Carla said...

Could this be Harvey Weinstein and Gwyneth Paltrow?

Weinstein was definitely the funding catalyst and Gwyneth fits the classy, talented, doable, pissy, high-minded brainy type. As for being a secret horncat, well she seems like the type who'd like to keep such a thing under wraps.

Carla said...

The film being Shakespeare in Love.

nycer said...

I think Weinstein was extremely close to Bruce Paltrow, long time friends with her father. Didn't she date Affleck at the time and wasn't he trying for a part too? I could see HW lusting after Uma or Charlize but not his friend's little girl or 'Uncle Steven's' favorite. I don't think she's had to struggle for parts or casting with all the connections.

Twisted Sister said...

Sloanegal, thanks. I always wondered who the actor was in the blind. And now I know.

happygrl said...

Titanic

Carla said...

I was thinking that Gwyneth had already starred in "Emma" which was a Miramax production and may'be caught HW's eye back then.

As for being too close, there is already the rumor that she slept with him for the role in Shakespeare and was thinking maybe there was more to the story ...

As for the other couple, Gigliotti and possibly Rush - closer in age? Or maybe Affleck or Firth? Fiennes seems too young.

Just a guess.

nycer said...

was just lookin @ the E! board for this BV and it's titled - barely legal hetero nooky. There goes all the late 20's and up gals.

Steph said...

1. Alexander Payne
2. Reese Witherspoon
3. Matthew Broderick (co-star)

playla said...

I'm not sure if this points more to Ellen Page or away from her but there was some asshole critic who said she could never win the oscar because she wasn't "doable" enought...

http://nymag.com/daily/entertainment/2008/02/ellen_page_not_doable_enough_t.html

Brenda22 said...

The producer is definitely Weinstein (Shark Wankberg...couldn't be more obvious).
How about Alba or someone else from Sin City. There were also lots of other young actresses in that film (the other more age-appropriate hookup on the film).

Pamela said...

I don't think it's ScarJo... has she been in a movie that's been loved by teens and adults?

And yeah, seems like the actress is younger.

Pamela said...

What about Reese Witherspoon and Walk the Line? The movie was a mega-hit, won Oscars. She is older, but it came out 3 years ago? She seems like a prudish type. I dunno. She might be too old too. I am looking at my netflix top 100 to try and find a movie that fits!

Grace said...

Paltrow definitely has the reputaton for being the "pissy, high-minded brainy type." Lainey Gossip constantly talks about it in one way or another -- how superior Paltrow's attitude is.

And her reputation fits with Shark's original opinion that he would never get her into bed.

The only thing that doesn't jive here is that she would feel obligated do to Shark's funding the film.

badchick272002 said...

Hi Guys,
Speaking of Scarlett Johansson, I just read some interesting information an another site about her. Apparently she is the answer to a blind item-I can't say for sure if it's one of Ent's or from another site (sorry but I read a lot of blind items) about a young actress who is hollywood's current IT girl and her love for the ladies. Apparently, Scar Jo really prefers women, although she dates men. Well here is the info from the other site. It says it all better than I can:

Scarlett has a high powered fixer, the best in the business and the most expensive because I know for a fact that she likes chicks moreso than men. They have her fronting and being engaged from this man, to that man but she has lived with a woman in the past and her fixer is so powerful, it was even a tabloid blackout. She is the golden girl and they are going out of their way to cover this up, too much money invested in her.

francesca fiore said...

For some reason I thought of Rachel MacAdams... I don't really have anything to back that up though. Just thought I'd try to be different.

Interesting info on ScarJo!

Marisa said...

i'm convinced it's anne hathaway in devil wears prada...lainey said something today about her not being the good girl everyone thinks she is/the manipulative + scandalous nature of Hollywood...and mentions Harvey: check it out and jump on the bandwagon: http://laineygossip.com/Anne_Hathaway_at_Showest.aspx

Irishstayc said...

here's the good parts of what Lainey said -

" Anne has been tight with Georgina Chapman and Harvey Weinstein lately. Word around town is that she’s his new favourite, having tried and failed with Sienna and the Alba Bitch. There is however some consternation about their growing affection, particularly because Harvey and her entrepreneurial and allegedly questionably ethical boyfriend Raffaelo Follieri have supposedly been thick as thieves. Rumour has it, some on Anne’s team don’t want her to get caught as a pawn in a business deal that ends up going sour.

Dark, dirty, sinister smut." www.laineygossip.com

I'm with marisa on this one.

Marisa said...

Thanks Irish! Happy almost St. Patty's!

francesca fiore said...

Oooh, interesante! Sounds like Anne Hathaway is a pretty good guess!

sloanegal said...

Raffaello Follieri & Co is involved in several lawsuits & investigations for shady BUSINESS dealings. Ron Burkle (Clinton's buddy), Catholic Church, NY Diocese etc ringing a bell? Weinstein Co has invested heavily in her career as they did for Millerr & Alba, who flopped. Doubt it's romantic goss, lainey's just passing on the $$$ scuttlebutt.

Carla said...

if anne hathaway ... hmmm weinstein was one of the producers of ella enchanted.

can't seem to come up with the movie that would be "love life" though.

drat.

Judi said...

Shark Wankberg = Steven Spielberg
Sheila Slurp-Never = Ziyi Zhang
The film = Memoirs of a Geisha
Co-star could be Gong Li

Carla said...

i think we're overlooking some of the clues.

1) movie was a megahit, yet quirky and critically acclaimed

2) offbeat script that was shopped around

4) classy prissy actress

5) producer "supersuccessful"

6) older/younger hookup that would be surprising to the general public

7) costar also hooked up with another of the producer-types but no scandalous associations

hmmmmmmmmm

ohcs said...

renee zellweger (sheila slurp never) bridget jones 2 (love life) miramax

ohcs said...

just to add, the weinstein company produced Miss Potter

Twisted Sister said...

Would Renee Z. be considered "terribly classy", though? I'm not sure she falls into that category.

Twisted Sister said...

Sloanegal -
The link you posted above with all the details about Shakespeare in Love indicates that when Julia Roberts flew across the pond to try to convince Daniel Day-Lewis to take the part - neither one was married. So the blind that said, "Which A-list married actress..." it obviously means she's currently married - not married at the time she did that. Very misleading, I think.

H. Montana said...

"smart flick that became a megahit with everyone from teens to adults, with some critical trophy amour thrown in for good measure": Juno can be considered smart and a megahit but the part of the critical trophy amour doesn't fit, it sounds like a movie with some good reviews and Juno with a 93% at Rotten tomatoes will be better described as widely praised by the critics.

"famously attached to the project": Juno wasn't on the public radar until the summer of 2007 when the trailer came out.

"been a rising star since she first stepped onto the silver screen. Shee-babe’s respected and talented—not to mention quite doable": the first big movie of Ellen Page was Hard Candy, and that's a stretch since it was an independent movie as were her previous works and by the time she was a 19 year old playing 14 year old girls, so "quite doable" only for pedophiles.

But hell you never know, Brett Ratner talked with Ellen Page after she rejected the part of Kitty Pride because he wanted her for the role, and who knows what else.

I don't think this is about Juno or Ellen Page maybe Shakespeare in Love, but the part "teens to adult" doesn´t fit, I was barely out of my teens then and I didn't give a shit about that movie.