Friday, March 21, 2008

Ted C. Blind Item

Browhilda Frown-Free has just about everything a once desperately ambitious, unknown actress could desire: fame, wealth, notorious love, Academy Award notice, great bone structure, fab hair, free cosmetic procedures for the taking—everything but the freedom to love the one she's (really) with. Don't worry though, babes, Brow's been down this fake-amour alley before. She's a friggin' pro at navigating the affectionless twists and turns of the overly photographed.

Howev, BFF's latest man experience—heady as it all may be—has become slightly more than Browhilda's used to, what with her past liaisons of coolly arranged get-togethers. You know the age-old ersatz Hollywood plan: A couple goes out for a red carpet whatever; then they go in for separate, much more private dalliances with their same-sex partners. Brow's had this setup with almost every man she's hooked up with before.

But Ms. F.F.'s latest dude—who's more than happy to bed every slobbering femme he can find—has turned out to be far messier than Brow-babe would prefer. Not only does he womanize with indiscretion, he's stupidly starting to make a loud and rather visible stink about Brow's increased devotion to her current g-f. How does that Shakespearean saying go? Oh what a tangled guy web we weave, when at first we hetero deceive? Watch out, Brow, we be onto ya!

46 comments:

Urban Myths said...

Nicole Kidman

Twisted Sister said...

Urban myths, you beat me to it.

Kim said...

The ain'ts are Renee Zellweger, Tilda Swinton and Catherine Zeta-Jones.

Where's the common thread?

(I haven't tried to figure it out yet. I just figured some other smarty-boots would know off the top.)

Chatty said...

Totally think it's Nicole.

Renee and Catherine did a remake of a musical movie- Chicago- and Nicole did the same with Moulin Rouge...does Tilda have anything like this on her resume?

Kate said...

Common threads: movie musicals, late 30s/early 40s, Academy Award recognition.

Nicole was my first thought.

And women have gone on the record saying that they've slept with Keith Urban while he was with Nicole.

And she has really, really wanted a biological baby for awhile....

Twisted Sister said...

Kim, didn't they all win Oscars?

Kate said...

Yep, Twisted Sister -- and they've all won Best Supporting Actress. Nicole won Best Actress. Interesting....

Champaggles said...

Tilda Swinton was in Vanilla Sky.

Nicole possibly, but what about Penelope Cruz? Haven't there been rumors about her as well????? Does she have any connection to the other two?

Twisted Sister said...

I think Penelope hasn't had so much cosmetic surgery that there are no wrinkles in her forhead when she frowns.

shanadee1977 said...

wait a sec...does this mean Keith Urban is actually straight? I don't buy that one for a sec. I'm thinking someone older than Nicole...maybe Rachel Weisz, Cate Blanchett (who's also preggers and has preternaturally young skin for her age), or Marcia Gay Harden...they were all Oscar Best or Supporting Actress nominees too.

Kim said...

They all won Oscars yes, but (and I don't read Ted as regularly as I used to) that would be way too obvious of a common for him. Ted's aint's usually consist of stuff like "they dated the same person who was on a barely watched PBS series."

If he's coming down to those who have Oscars, I'm so disappointed!

unicorn jones said...

At first I thought Demi Moore, but I wasn't sure b/c of the oscar thing, but I think you guys are right -- deff nicole "my face doesn't move when I smile" kidman

Champaggles said...

OK well wait. I'm removing the Oscar clue. Going with the Shakespeare clue. Waaaaaaaaaaay bakc when Tlda Swinton voiced a character in Shakespeare:Animated Series. She voiced a character in Hamlet. Of course Shakespeare didn't actually write that quote TEd talks about, Sir Walter Scott wrote it. But whatever...I'm checking out whose been in anything Shakespeare/Hamlet.

Chatty said...

Could working co-starring with George Clooney have anything to do with the "and it ain'ts?"

Moosefan said...

I got the CZJ vibe more than Nicole. Wasn't her PePaw hubby/baby daddy/ATM Michael Douglas a big time skirt chaser? And come on yall, does anyone think that her skin has not been touched and retouched?

eileen said...

I don't know about Nicole. Past liaison of cooly arranged get-togethers...doesn't that sound like dates rather than marriages?

d said...

moosefan: she's one of the and it aints

for some reason I thought Anne Hathaway. But I dunno.

Suz0000032 said...

Leatherheads (George Clooney & Renee); Michael Clayton (George Clooney & Tilda); Intolerable Cruelty (George Clooney & Catherine); The Peacemaker (George Clooney & Nicole Kidman).

melcon80 said...

Renee was married to a country singer, Tilda was in Vanilla Sky and CZJ won oscar, was in a musical, etc.

captivagrl said...

nicole had an affair with a married surgeon( the doctor that did her sugery when she was hurt while filming)...."free cosmetic procedures for the taking"

Moosefan said...

Yeah, I know she is one if the "ain'ts" but yall know she got some great gossip skeletons in her closet-
So the link with Clooney-what about Julia Roberts? Been in a few films, has had some wild relationships -yes I know she is married and has kids....

ms_wonderland said...

Ted's BI are not usually so obvious. This is so Nicole - even the name Browhilda Frown-free is her. Nicole's marriage to TC was surely a cooly-arranged get together for a desperately ambitious actress.

I wondered if Tilda is there as a red-head clue?

acetomato777 said...

I thought of Kidman first, too. But I had never heard any lesbian rumors about her - definitely the bearding (TC) but never women. Then again, maybe that was the big violation that ended her arrangement with TC = maybe he was find with her same sex affairs but she blew it by having an affair with a man and getting caught (or pg or whatever)

Brenda22 said...

First thought was also Kidman. It's kind of obvious her marriage is fake (as is her practically non-existent baby bump)and there have been many rumours of his infidelity, not to mention pictures of him with that girl in Nashville.

morganaven said...

KIDMAn

bippy said...

kidman!

but would ted c be this obvious?

so who's the gf? could she have been in the suv the other day when nicole's bodyguard went off on that pap?

never heard the lesbian rumors, but it all makes sense -- and as acetomato777 said, this might explain tom's whole 'she knows what she did' freakout when they broke up.

mamamia said...

Ted C is usually impossible for me to decipher, but this one is screaming Nicole Kidman to me.

DBF said...

There have always been lesbian rumors about Nicole as she is known to frequent lesbian bars in Australia. Lainey is always saying that Keith is under contract and we know about her marriage to Tom. There is also speculation that a surrogate is carrying her baby and she is pretending to be pregnant (like Katie) and Keith has been seem with many women since being with Nicole and she has been botoxed beyond recognition. This one is strangely obvious considering this is from Ted C.

Alexa said...

Likely Nicole. A little Hollywood birdie confirmed to me that she is bi, and the BFF instantly made me think of her BFF Naomi Watts - I've always got gf vibes from them. Not saying she's the current love interest, but I bet they used to be together. But not all the pieces fit... if the link is Best Supporting Actresses, though, it doesn't fit many other likely candidates (I'm presuming we're looking at someone who has relationship hopped and is in a new-ish relationship - most of the other potentials are happily and rather boringly married, including Cate Blanchet, Kate Winslet, Laura Linney, etc.).

Berry Hill said...

Kidman fits-- everything but the hair. Maybe Ted was complimenting her wigs?

These photos might give you something to think about regarding Ted's item:


http://khaokal.netslums.com/nicomi/gallery.html

allirose81 said...

How about Keira Knightley? Syllables match, has been Oscar nominated, rumors that she plays for the home team....

Twisted Sister said...

I don't thinnk Keira has had plastic surgery freezing her face, though has she? Or arranged relationships? I'm thinking it's probably someone older, Allirose.

brendalove@gmail.com said...

Ya'll are making this too hard. Its Kidman. Ted's got his dander up about that bodyguard incident for some reason. There's something he's dying to tell and can't. So he gave us the next best thing.

bippy said...

haven't read ted c for years, so didn't know he was aflutter about the bodyguard incident, so how's this:

the reason the bodyguard freaked is because the 'surrogate' was in the car.

also, i put surrogate in quotes because now i'm wondering if it's her girlfriend who's carrying the baby -- could be the gf's eggs or nicole's eggs and keith's sperm....

possessive behavior on his part might come from having a genetic tie to the kid and worrying that he might get shut out by nicole and the gf -- who knows how much of this part of their 'marriage' was contracted?

Twisted Sister said...

What IS the bodyguard incident? I don't know what you're talking about.

Carla said...

bippy - holy cow that's quite a theory. still it does make a lot of sense.

sillyme said...

I agree that all the clues point to Nicole, but the only reason I have some doubt is that in a prior b.i. about Nicole K., Ted C. referred to her as "Clenched Class." That said, I now do think that Ted doesn't always use the same nicknames for the celebrity subjects of his blinds. He does this to confuse IMO.

bippy said...

twisted, a few days ago nicole kidman's bodyguard went ape-shit on a pap who was following her suv -- the bodyguard leaned into the window of the pap's car and started beating him up.

i googled it and here are the references to it:

http://tinyurl.com/36kfzh

have a great weekend!

Twisted Sister said...

WOW! Thanks, Bippy. Too weird.

Have a great weekend, all! Happy Easter to those who celebrate. Mucho snow on the ground here in Chi town.

Amber said...

Penelope Cruz.

mango said...

It's Nicky Kidman, I know from a friend that she was def partaking in lesbian relations in Sydney when Tom was working on MI II. Friend who was a bit actor on MI II actually witnessed a tryst on R. Murdoch's boat on NYE.

honest said...

If Bippy theory is true, (which I am loving by the way) and the surrogate was in the car, how can we explain the first assault on the photographer the previous day by NK personal trainer ?

I have also looked at quite a few photos of Nw and NK together and they are very close. There are many photos of NK who just can't keep her eyes of Naomis breasts.

SIMPLYTHETRUTH said...

Elaine Jones said:

NICOLE KIDMAN!!!

It is all a fake. She cannot have children as I know people who treated her in her 20s. When she had her so called "ectopic pregnancy" she actually had testicular feminisation syndrome. I think in a few months time someone should pull off her skirt as a prank and reveal the lying botox bitch for what she is.

Rebecca said...

I immediately thought of Nicole Kidman. Browhilda = she did that Bewitched movie. And of course the Frown Free = all the Botox. After Tommy she dated Lenny Kravitz and QTip from Tribe Called Quest. And blah blah blah... it's her (Ibelive)

Rebecca said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Heather said...

I highly, highly doubt that it's Nicole Kidman. Great hair? Not so much. Current significant other is talking a bit too loud about her lesbian tendencies? Haven't heard a word from Keith. I live in Nashville and haven't heard any random rumblings that this might be true. I think Penelope Cruz/Salma Hayek is a possibility.