Thursday, April 10, 2008
Instead of celebrating whatever blackmail Pete Wentz has over Pimpa Joe to make Pimpa be thrilled that a guy who is just as likely to do a guy as Ashlee, the tabloids instead all worry about who had the exclusive. At least by my count, US Weekly, In Touch, and People are all claiming they had the exclusive about the couple getting married. That doesn't sound so exclusive. The only thing exclusive they did was be the first to the computer after they read the message on the friendsorenemies website.
I'm not sure what kind of exclusive that is. Does anyone really care about exclusives anymore? When I was growing up back in the dark ages before cable, people still read newspapers. I know, it is a foreign word to most of you, but they are these things that you often see on your hotel room doorstep in the morning. They have lots of words, not many photos and tend to get your hands dirty.
An exclusive back in the day meant something. A politician was stealing, the CIA killed someone in some country, the cops were profiting over a crack house. Who the f**k cares if you beat another website by 45 seconds to announce the engagement of a couple that half of the world doesn't even know exist? I really get a kick out of the engagement or wedding announcements that tabs breathlessly exclaim are exclusive and you are asking yourself who the couple is. "Oh, he was on the fourth season of The Real World and she is a waitress in Omaha." Well that surely is breathless worthy.
Do you think that is what sells more magazines or gets more hits to your website? The thing that sells magazines and gets more hits is if one of those tabloids had some exclusive about how Pimpa likes to bottom to Pete. That would sell some magazines and generate some hits to your website. And for damn sure it would be exclusive. And creepy, but that is beside the point.
How about just saying congratulations to Pete and Ashlee and hope it is a boy so you don't have to worry about grandpa being overly affectionate to the child. For the record, it appears that US Weekly announced the engagement first.