Wednesday, May 07, 2008

Jessica Simpson Needs A Guy Lesson


As I do every Wednesday morning I woke up, grabbed some coffee and a dozen Krispy Kremes and read Glamour Magazine. Oh sure, it's a big part of my life. In this month's issue, Jessica Simpson talks about her jinx status with the Dallas Cowboys. I know this has been discussed here before but I think that it is worth a paragraph or two to explain to you wives and girlfriends out there the difference between being a distraction and a jinx.

Here is what Jessica had to say. "I don't know - other than me wearing my man's jersey and cheering him on. And him not playing the way he would've hoped and all of a sudden I'm to blame. That was ludicrous. I don't understand why they think that I would be a distraction to Tony. Do they really think he can see way far up in that box? No. He's the most focused person I've ever dated."

A few things here. No, Tony can't see up to where she's sitting. But the fact is she's missing the point. Athletes are incredibly superstitious. On game days their superstitions can mirror that of someone with OCD, especially if they happen to win after performing some of their rituals.

Players have been cut from teams because the other members of the team think that person is a jinx. Jessica is a distraction, but the reason every one of Tony Romo's teammates and the President of the US don't like her is the fact the Cowboys don't win when she is in the stands. I guarantee you that the players will ask Tony before each game if she is in the stands, and if she is, they will believe they are going to lose. She might not understand it and it might be crazy, but that is what they will believe.

Now, to your husbands, boyfriends, or significant others who love sports. They will do the same thing while watching sports. If you come into the room and his team scores and scores and scores, you will be invited or even begged to remain. Conversely if you enter the room and his team suffers injuries or the plague during your visit, you will be asked to leave, and to never return during this particular game.

Let me make a prediction. If Jessica shows up to a game and the Cowboys lose, and then doesn't show up for a game, and they win, Jessica will not be at any Cowboys games the rest of the season. None.

16 comments:

jax said...

athletes and superstition..what a joke. man up and just admit your team sucked that day stop pointing fingers at bullshit excuses. you're not much of a player if this distracts you. no accountability.

hockey players never pull this crap aside from growing a playoff beard.

aside from that how was Glamour this month? lol.

Irishstayc said...

Just because I have to have my McNabb bobbleheads on the tv (heads bobbling at kickoff) and wear my Eagles jersey and listen to only WYSP coverage of the game w/ the sound on the tv turned down doesn't mean i'm superstic.. ahhh hell who am i kidding... They might lose if I don't do these things.

PS: I wore the infamous Orange crush t-shirt during the first game of the FLyers last playoff series and they lost the game. I haven't worn the shirt again and they won the next 4.. Flyers fans... you are welcome! Just sayin!

califblondy said...

Who thinks they'll still be together when football season starts?

Ya, me neither.

Shake those pom poms while you can, Jess.

Liz said...

As a die-hard Eagles fan, I want her to be at every Cowboys game!

unicorn jones said...

haha where is jessica'a nose? that pic is too funny


--uj

ykkstuck said...

hahaha - have a guy friend that has asked me to leave the room when his b-ball team started to slump after I walked in.

So I left (dont even like basketball). But every 10 min or so I'd walk back in just to irritate him :)

Trix said...

lol did someone airbrush out her nose?

shegundala said...

I have a problem with any woman who refers to her boyfriend/husband/whatever as "my man." Does he drag you back to his cave by the hair too?

califblondy said...

I say "my fella" sometimes.

"My Man" is too Tammy Wynette for me.

Brenda22 said...

Though I agree that if you suck, you suck, regardless of who is watching you... I still think she needs to keep her trap shut. She needs some lessons from Sarah Larson.

jax said...

i hate that term too. i work with a girl who always seems to be talking about her 'man'. not only do i not give a eff,it's annoying.

Jewels said...

Never thought I'd get to say this in this lifetime, but where's Jess' nose?
LOL!
I get the whole superstition thing. I'm superstitious as in: I believe in the luck of four-leaf clovers, I believe in picking up 'lucky' pennies, (LOL! pattern!), and my Nana used to say that putting your shoes on a counter was bad luck (I think it's just unhygienic personally), and that if the palm of your left hand was itchy, it meant you were going to get money (but you had to scratch it on wood!)
However, some of the rituals I've seen performed are, as Jess would say, ludicrous (anyone else think that was just artistic license on the writer's part? I can totally hear her saying "That's just silly"; two syllables, max!

brendalove@gmail.com said...

That pic of her is freaking me out. All she needs is a little pair of tennis shoes and some bobby socks and she could be Annette Funicello in the 50's.

Sylvia said...

lol@brendalove

The Dude Abides said...

Totally true. When I watch the Lakers in the playoffs, I have a choice of watching on the local station or on TNT. If they're doing well while I'm watching one station, then I will stay on that station. If they start to lose, then I will switch.

Also, in years past, my roommates used to get a kick out of my agonizing over whether or not I had to get on my knees and pray in front of the TV whenever Shaq had to shoot free throws. It all depended on how well he did in his last trip to the line.

Gayla said...

Men and their superstitions even carry over to Playstation. I had a male roommate and he pointed out one day that every time I sat in the living room to watch him and his friends play, he would start to lose the games. (It probably didn't help that I was secretly rooting for him to lose anyway. Hee!)