Friday, May 30, 2008

Ted C Blind Item Part Two

Morgan Mayhem is up to her old tricks. Well, I guess they can't really be considered old if she never stopped doing them?

Ms. May has a load of talents, but her best (and most often used) one is alienating her amigos. One of the buds she's burned as of late is the brother of one of her former flames, Dare to Do Me, the cute eye candy from a band still pretty popular on the charts. M2 is still psycho for the rocker she's shared several rendezvous romps with in the past, but D.D.'s moved on to focus on his music, good boy. Morg still keeps Dare's bro around, prolly as a resource if the fella ever wants to play with this par-tick groupie again.

Morgy is prone to wrestling up some wacky stuff to put her so-called friends through. She'll call the dreamy Do Me's brother up on a random weekday, claming she just bought them both plane tickets to Europe for that very day. If that wasn't spontaneous and silly enough, Do Me 2 will pick May-babe up and drive her to the airport, only to find out there's no ticket for him. Girl just straight up lies. Can you imagine that in Los Angeles? Oh, you shouldn't treat pals like that, M2, especially when they're related to amours you may want to snag back once you're finished with your current, more curious, conquests.

But listen up: Maybe it's not all drugs, dudes and rock 'n' roll with Mayhem, after all. Close buds swears Morgan's got a bona fide mental disorder that would explain her notorious behavior. It ain't chemicals or drink that's driving this doll up the walls—just like Britney's problemos were more brain-centered than everyone first thought. For real: Morgan insists there exists, somewhere in ultraluxurious, née looney, la-la land, a special private jet that takes celebs from L.A. to London in one hour. Swears.

Jeez, why isn't somebody helping this broad? She's screaming for aid, really. Nobody's listening.

24 comments:

kris said...

hmmm..didn't realize lilo was so wacked...

DNfromMN said...

so who's the dude.

Jared Leto's brother is in 30 sec to mars w/ him, right?

and the Madden bros are Good Charlotte.

jax said...

i was thinking kiki

ms_wonderland said...

I thought MM was Paris? There's no brother around LiLo. There's a sister....

Brenda22 said...

I thought it was common knowledge that Morgan Mayham is Lindsey. Her full name is Lindsey Morgan Lohan. Her questionable conquests lately would be Sam Ronson.

Brenda22 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Moonmaid said...

OK, this one's pretty easy. LL had a fling with Adam Levine of Maroon 5. She has been spotted hanging out with Adam's brother in the past:

http://www.purseblog.com/celebrities/lindsay-lohan-slummin/

The "curious" current conquest would be Samantha Ronson.

boobsu said...

WELL DONE MOONMAID! I HIGHLY RECOMMEND ANYONE REREAD ALL OF TED'S MM BLINDS. THEY ARE PRETTY CRAZY. LINDSEY IS F-ED UP!

Ernestine said...

I used to love Ted's blinds, but now, they just basically bore the piss outta me. It's like, guess who likes it up the ass?! Or guess who loves the booger sugar? Who gives a fuck?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's Lindsay.

Ernestine said...

P.S. Lindsay MORGAN Lohan is ALWAYS Morgan Mayhem in Ted's blinds. Certain people have certain designated names -- like the brilliant and entirely sensible moniker Toothy Tile.

d said...

I'm more interested in her belief that you can get from L.A. to Heathrow in 1 hour. Has anybody done the math on how fast an aircraft has to travel to do this? Definitely not Lindsey.

The short answer is: sub orbital speed.

The long answer, neglecting takeoff and landing procedures, is approx 6000 miles per hour, averaging mach 8.5, with initial acceleration of mach 12.

Ernestine said...

*lolllzzz*

d, you are basically, like, the smartest person reading this blog right now.

some said...

Mach is not a measure of acceleration. i think you probably meant 12 G's (12 times the force of gravity)

junglekitten said...

yeah, It's Lilo!! The morgan refrence and the la la land comment gave it away!!!

jenner said...

Woah...did Ernestine just call everyone stupid???????

LOLOLOL

Dschingis said...

if you take drugs like she does, the longest flight seems like an hour trip. and you truly believe it. at this conversion rate your birthday is some 48 hours apart...

april said...

I, too, am convinced that Morgan Mayhem is indeed LiLi. But I don't think her real middle name is Morgan. I believe it is actually Dee.

"In 2005, Lohan explained to a TEENick audience that she had decided to use Morgan as her middle name because it sounded more professional."

(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lindsay_Lohan)

kris said...

Dschingis, that made me laugh out loud..how true, how true...

RagDoll said...

jenner,

naw, I think Ernz was paying d a compliment, not dealing us an insult. Because d's comment was pretty cool.

And for the record, I actually think that Lindsay is generally ALWAYS high enough to reach the Karman Line and pull off said spaceflight.

Kat. said...

Lindsay Lohan, fer sure.

Ernestine said...

Jenner, I WAS totally paying homeboy a compliment. We're all smart people, obviously. That's why we're here and not visiting Perez, right?

Jenner, I like your input, and I wasn't trying to start any trouble. Please don't insinuate as such; I'm not an angry person in real life, and I don't feel the need to be passive aggressive on the 'net, either.

I like to frequent this site because the commenters AREN'T nasty to each other, but if I've offended you in the past, I apologize for it.

Andy said...

Actually, there IS a plane that can do it. It's a spy plane called Aurora. Google it.

I was on a CompuServe chat with Tom Clancy in 1992 when he spilled the beans. He said there's 2, stationed at Area 51 (sorry, no aliens, just spy planes). One does Mach 6, the other Mach 12. He corresponded with an ATC agent who tracked a blip doing 10kmph. The US Air Force told him to "be a good boy and keep his mouth shut."

So he told Tom Clancy. :)

Now, does LiLo know this? I doubt it. But it DOES exist.

jenner said...

ernestine - I know, I was teasing - that's why I put those LOLs after ;) LOL

Ernestine said...

Jenner -- riiiiight, riiiight.