Friday, July 11, 2008

Lets Make Fun Of Kneepads

Here is a "story" that People Magazine had on their site today under the heading of news. You then click and are taken to style. Whatever. It's an ad, not a "story." To make it more palatable, I have added some extra comments after theirs.

If there’s one thing Antonio Banderas knows, it’s the art of seduction.

While I'm sure he does, lets face it. How much seduction was needed to land Melanie Griffith?

And while wearing that Zorro mask alone is more than enough to make some of us swoon, the actor is taking things to new levels with his latest fragrance, Blue Seduction for Women.

When you actually use the word swoon in an article you know that you are pretty much reading a piece of crap. In a book, sure, or maybe, just maybe in a lengthy magazine piece about the 60's, but there are no other exceptions. Do you get the feeling that he could have called his perfume GHB and they still would be gushing.

At yesterday’s launch event for scent in N.Y.C., Antonio brought in the cast of the Tony Award-winning musical In the Heights to sing the scent’s praises — or at least entertain the gathered crowd.

The gathered crowd consisted of people who were waiting patiently for the Circle Line tour.

But it was the troupe’s final number that really dazzled.

Dazzled? See swoon above and take off that damn glitter, you are embarrassing yourself.

Antonio jumped from his seat next to wife Melanie Griffith, ran to the stage and joined the singers to show off his own impressive skills.

The fact that he was able to remove his chain and collar that quickly in order to perform really does show off impressive skills.

Your wait to be seduced by the violet, rose, and jasmine notes of Antonio’s fruity fragrance will be over soon.

The publicist should have checked that fruity thing over before letting that go to print. What about the notes of haven't had a hit in a few years or the sweat of knowing your wife stays awake staring at you all night. Where is that in the bottle?

It hits stores in September, with one dollar from the sale of each bottle going directly to the charity Broadway Equity Fights AIDS.

Do me a favor. Don't give Melanie anymore money. The bottle will probably cost $50 at least and they are going to vie a $1 to charity. Just send $10 to the charity and call it a day. Seriously one dollar? I mean how greedy can one person be? I was just guessing at $50 which would be 2% going to charity, but it will probably cost $75-100 in reality. Is Antonio that desperate for money that he can only give a $1 a bottle? That seems kind of sad and depressing that Melanie has gone through his money that quickly.


Mooshki said...

The real question is WHY? Really, someone needs to tell me. I just. don't. get it.

jw12 said...

mooshki- WHY? I think we will all go to the grave with that same question.

adrian said...

looks like he is sporting bad hair plugs.

Mooshki said...

Oops, I was having trouble with Blogger - just to clarify, my comment was supposed to be in reference to:

"How much seduction was needed to
land Melanie Griffith?"


mags said...

AH, EL, you need to post the pic of the $132 leggings from Dlisted along side every Knee Pads post.

$1, how freakin generous. If it helps pay to get Melanie looking more normal, then it's almost acceptable. said...

I love him as that little bee in the allergy medicine commercials.

Judi said...

Swoon, dazzled, fruity. It's the 1920s.
How much seduction was needed to land Melanie? Very little.


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