Monday, August 18, 2008
I told myself that I would never actually devote the time necessary to actually write a post about Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt, but honestly, they wasted about 10 minutes of my life this morning that I will never get back, and I feel as if I owe them one. They were guests on Ryan Seacrest's show this morning as I drove to work. I live close to work and so don't spend a great deal of time listening to Ryan. I try and time it on Mondays so I can listen to him make a big deal about how straight he is and how many ladies he hit on over the weekend, and then usually an interview. Today it was Speidi.
Now, you can't go to any event in LA without running into the couple. It is impossible. You could go to the grand opening of a coffee shop run by people who speak no English and Speidi will be there smiling for cameras and then moving on to the next stop. They literally do this all day and night from what I can tell.
Anyway, I don't watch The Hills, so maybe they have discussed this before which is why I need your help. Oh, but before I get there, Heidi is going to record a Christian album as soon as possible because she has a message she wants to get out to everyone and she is filled with the spirit of the Lord. She just did pop to try and get a foothold. Well, they played her new song "Overdosing" which is totally a Christian title by the way, and I listened to about ten seconds of it, pulled to the side of the road and cried because I knew that I had reached the lowest possible moment of my life and that anything after that would be a positive experience.
So, back to the point of this post. Oh, wait. One more thing. Spencer Pratt is convinced that when he and Heidi get married live on television it will be bigger than American Idol. Uh huh. Well, considering that contractually it will be on MTV, it will be impossible to achieve a rating as high as American Idol, but thanks for playing anyway.
Now, Heidi starts going off about being a Christian and leading a Christian life and how Spencer just wants to marry her so he can have sex with her because she is saving herself for marriage and Spencer is saving himself for some cute boy from West Hollywood. No, not really. As far as you know. Anyway, in the world that is Heidi and Spencer, they sleep together every night, in the same bed, and Spencer says they place pillows between them so they don't touch.
So, here is my question. First you have to suspend all disbelief about Heidi Montag and just pretend she is being truthful about being a virgin. So, is it ok to live with someone, and sleep in the same bed as long as you don't have sex? Then it isn't a sin? Is it only a sin on the nights you do have sex, and then all the other nights it's like summer camp? I'm kind of fuzzy on the whole math thing here so if someone would take the time to give me a lesson in theological doctrine when it comes to the whole living together/not having sex thing, I would appreciate it.