Friday, September 12, 2008

How Convenient


This has got to be the worst all time excuse in the history of excuses. According to US Weekly, Jennifer Lopez injured her foot and so cannot judge the finale of Project Runway. Umm, she would be sitting in a chair. Is the foot so bad that she is unable to sit down? Is she going to have to be fully horizontal for the next six months? Does the foot radiate extreme pain when it hears a German accent or Michael Kors and his Dr. Phil fashion-isms?

You know what this is about don't you? It has nothing to do with Project Runway. Nope. The thing is the injury has to be serious enough so that she doesn't have to do the triathlon. See, Jennifer already made the rounds of all the talk shows and got all the magazine covers she was going to get out of this little charade without actually doing it. If she did it, she would probably get another round of publicity. She probably thought, "screw it. People are going to think I did it because I talked about it for a month." She's right you know. People are going to remember her talking about it and assumed she did.

She might not even make an announcement expressing her regret that she is unable to participate because then that would tarnish the memory. Oh, and I also think this foot injury will prevent her from ever competing in any future triathlons. It will be only with great difficulty and personal pain and rehabilitation that she will be able to continue shopping on any kind of regular basis, or appearing in films. Unfortunately, due to the injury she will no longer be able to take care of the kids personally and will hand them over to a team of nannies who will remind her when a birthday is coming up so she can make an appearance at before limping back to her wing of the house. That is of course if the children are staying in the house. By then, they may be secluded with Connor and Isabella who will be writing a Broadway Musical of Battlefield Earth.

The photo above was taken on September 10th, so obviously it has happened since then. I would like to think that she would not use a 9/11 reference when discussing her injury, but with her penchant for publicity, you just never know.


27 comments:

Tully Mars said...

Does this mean her ass is going to start getting bigger again?

Kristen S. said...

I agree Enty - nice way to get out of her stupid idea to do a triathalon. What a dingbat.

Starburst said...

Dude, I don't know about any of you, but I'd judge Project Runway completely disfigured from a hospital bed, or paralyzed from the neck down. As long as I could talk, I'd judge PR.

Why is Jennifer Lopez giving up the best career opportunity shes gotten in a long time?

littleoleme said...

I wish I was surprised by this but I'm not. I'm not even surprised she thinks we're all so stupid that we'd believe this shyte.
All I wish for is that some day a former servant will write a tell all book because you know that there is some crazy bat-shit, diva, cult loving stuff going on in that house. Those poor kids.

Merlin D. Bear said...

Can we have a show of hands for those who actually **BELIEVED** for one hot second that she was actually going to do the triathlon?

Mooshki said...

Ooh, nice deduction, Enty! Whatever her reasons, I am SO HAPPY she canceled, because they're replacing her with Tim Gunn!!!!!!

mngddess said...

JLo makes that same damn face in every photo she takes.

Lisa said...

Perhaps if she stopped wearing shoes which forced her feet to be "sur les pointes" she wouldn't sustain any "foot injury".

Harriet Hellfire said...

Perhaps her foots hurts so much she can no longer make records.

Let us pray.

Mooshki said...

HH, does she make records anymore anyway? :)

Katja said...

That's the fart face look she has on. It suits her.

jax said...

lol..exactly what i was thinking too EL. fraud!

MontanaMarriott said...

LAWD!!
She's got that same one LOOK in every picture, this hoe is DONE!

p m said...

She was shocked when they told her she couldn't be carried through the race. When she learned that her precious princess piggy toes would touch asphalt, she was appalled.

Harriet Hellfire said...

Mooshki, I bet she will put out a record soon, it will be in Spanglish, and all about having babies. On the block.

jlb said...

Man she's got the vacant Lilo/coked out look.

Judi said...

Unless she's working, I don't even think about her. If the vehicle she's in is good, I'll see it. Otherwise...

not a famous adrian said...

Sh's just pissed because everyoone is talking about Michael Pekps on SNL, & not her.

Ella B. said...

I agree with mooshki, I'm happy she canceled because she would have half-ruined the final episode for me. I would rather see professionals judge the final show and not have the gimmicky addition of some diva. Now Tim Gunn gets to do some actual judging, and he'll be great.

Sarah said...

Ugh see this kills me. First I ma happy she's no longer judging as I love project runway and she would have ruined it for me. Go team Tim Gunn.

Second I'm racing my first triathlon this weekend. I'm racing with team survivor, a group for women with cancer. Myself and the others in this group have all overcome so much yet we'll all be showing up at 5am on Sunday to get our race on.

I can't wait to hear what her 'foot' injury is knowing what some of these women have raced through.

Grace said...

merlin d. bear: I knew she'd have a foot injury and back out of all this.

And Sarah -- kudos to you for your first triathalon!! Of course, you're a real woman; JLo does not live in the real world.

captivagrl said...

i knew it! she's an ass.

bionic bunny! said...

i told you so!

and sarah, you get on with your bad self! we all want to know how you do, so report back here with details!
team sarah!!

Kelli said...

How ironic, this picture was taken on the 10th at night, and I read this early morning on the 11th...and yes I never expected her to be doing a triathalon..she seriously lives in her own world. And does anyone even care what J.Lo does anymore? She's a caricature of her former self.

selenakyle said...

It's probably a cover for the fact that Heidi hates J-Lo's ass and said she didn't want the bitch anywhere near her show.

Mooshki said...

"I would rather see professionals judge the final show and not have the gimmicky addition of some diva."

Remember Debra Messing? PUKE!!!

Sarah - awesome!!!

Podbaydoor said...

Well I didn't believe she would do the triathlon, but she did.
http://www.dlisted.com/node/28255