If It's Monday, It Must Be Verne Troyer Sex Tape Day
A website in China today started selling the Verne Troyer sex tape online. For only $9.95 you to can enjoy the fun filled goodness of Verne having sex with Ranae Shrider. Now, if you believe Ranae which I really don't, she was stopped outside the home she shares with the tongued one and offered $5,000 for the tape by a total stranger. She accepted. That is the biggest pile of crap in the world. She is definitely getting a piece of the action from the website. Yeah, sue me, I don't care. There is no way you are going to just run into a stranger on the street and he says I'll give you $5,000 for the tape and then you run inside and get it off the refrigerator where Verne can't reach it and bring it outside and say thanks.
What she did was probably give it to a guy who knew a guy who knew a guy who set up this Chinese website so we can all watch Verne get down and dirty. So, I am going to give you the link, and if anyone buys it, you have to do a review of it. I want to know if you ever get aroused while watching it, or if it is more like that feeling when you are sitting in the dentist chair before anyone comes to start working on your mouth. You know that feeling right? The one you dread even just thinking about? The one that makes you shiver. Can you smell that lead apron they throw on you for the x-rays? I can. The feel of the film in your mouth. OK, so is that what the Verne Troyer sex tape feels like because I have a feeling it is.
41 comments:
Did you HAVE to post that top screen shot? It looks like a baby between her legs. I feel dirty now.
AAAUUUGGGHHHH! MY EYES! MY EYES!
I'd been avoiding taking even a peek at this atrociousness.
WHY ENTY, WHY? OMFG, I just went out of the site and came back and saw Verne Troyer doing things noone should ever have to see him do!
Ewww.....
Mine eyes have bled! :P
dude,
what the hell is wrong with you? drinking on the job again?
GOOD GOD...great...I don't think I will ever have sex again....JFC, I need a bath.
jaysus feckin cheeto,good god man TAKE IT DOWN!
i did NOT need to see that in my lifetime.
bring me the dentist, the needles and the fuckin laughing gas.
My fragile, delicate eyes :(
Jesus christ I'm at work! And yes, that does look like a baby laying on top of her in the first picture. I think I'm going to be ill.
ENT you need to be more work friendly, dammit.
Please indicate NSFW next time. I had to scroll as quick as I could so my boss couldn't see what I was doing.
Please next time gives us the choice if we want to see this weird stuff or not.
Mmmmm, mini-peen!
At least his head is in a useful place.
Next time-- a warning please?
I am scarred for life.
The Russians must have put you up to this.
That girl has issues. she just does, i dont care what anyone says. even Ashley Dupre probably wouldn't fuck a man who reminded her of a baby between her legs, not just for a room to rent and the promise of lame fifteen minutes of hanger on fame from someone who was never even a B- lister.
Ahahahahahaha, I had to scroll down REALLY fast there. I will take a closer look later when there are no coworkers around.
eeeeeeewwwwwwww it's like she's doing a baby.
why o why does my mind have to be polluted with these images???
now i'm gonna see THAT in my mind when I am giving my kids supper tonight and end up vomiting in their mashed potatoes.
GROSS
I feel like I need to wash my eyeballs out with bleach. Thats probably the most disgusting thing I have seen in awhile. Please do not post Verne on FFF.
that's so wrong.
why do i keep looking?
hee. that is terrible.
wtf, wtf, wtf?
Oh fuck I need to jerk off now
Funnies aside, people, does Verne Troyer not deserve a sex life because of his size? Not that I want to see it or anyone's sex tape but for "enlightened" folks you sure do sound like prudes.
They're adults, so what? Let 'em have their fun. Good luck to them I say.
He looks like a cabbage patch doll that fell over...
This is just so sad an totally not necessary. I gotta go and poke my eyeballs out with a fork now. Thanks.
Dear god in heaven, I will never be able to scrub those pictures from my mind. I demand you pay for my lobotomy! Why wasn't there a warning???
As horrible as I felt after seeing that first picture, I know a lot of guys that would like to have their heads there during sex.
. . . and just pretend that comment didn't make me sound like a slut. .blushes.
mini-me-motorboating, alpine?
And Ent, I will not return as movie reviewer for this one, even if you paid for it. The photos were bad enough.
yes, he can have a sex life.
no, i do not want to watch it.
so now i've got these pictures AND thoughts of the dentist stuck in my head. thanks a alot, enty!
OMFG! I am laughing so hard at your comments that I forgot what I was going to write...if only I could forget what I saw! SERIOUSLY? There's not enough alcohol, drugs or money in the world...
The thing is, I can't UN-SEE something, so that top image is burned into my brain. Must go get drunk now.
I would still rather have seen that then what could crawl out of Paris Hilton's vajayjay.
And man, I am kinda thinking ole Verne is a mini me hero to some of the guys his size out there.
DN --
No, not mini-me motorboating, specifically. Every synapse in my brain related to sexuality is turned off when I think of Verne Troyer. But what straight guy wouldn't want to nuzzle and/or motorboat? I was just commenting on the convenience for him -- not that I was interested AT ALL. :)
You know, I'm glad he has a good sex life and all that, just as I hope everyone (well, everyone who's a halfway decent person) has one...but DAMN, Enty, I don't want to WATCH him having it! Oh, and I hadn't actually thought "baby" until the rest of you said it; I just figured his head was in a nice convenient spot and left it at that.
Somebody pass the brain bleach, please...
oh lord. The top picture was the worst hahaaa
What does that book say in the last photo?? Power Actor???
ewww!! ewww!!! ewww!! I think I'm going to be sick. Please never post pics like that again.
If I wanted to see that, I'd find it myself.
You keep posting that kind of crap, I'll stop visiting your site.
i totally want troyer in the fff!
common, guys! it could be huge! you dont know!
p.s. i have never wanted to laugh and cringe and cry all at the same time.
awesome!
and miss x..... stop being such a prude.
Bad Fish so totally beat me to it! My first thought upon seeing that first pic and not yet reading the caption .. cause it is late for me and I am not really all here .. was: "Why the hell is EL posting a pic of some chick trying to have sex with a baby!!??!! WTF!!!!"
Damn .. some things yo just cannot unsee .. ya know.
Enty, now we know why your parents keep you locked in the basement - they're trying to protect the world from you! You're a sick, twisted, sadistic freak! :)
I wish I were bothered by this, but I am not.
I fear for myself.
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