Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Now It's A Fairytale


This pregnancy of Nicole Kidman's keeps getting better and better. Not content with just going about her daily business, instead we are treated to incessant stories about her pregnancy. This time she has even turned her pregnancy into some kind of Australian mythical miracle. In an interview with The Australian Women's Weekly, Kidman said the reason she didn't have much of a baby bump is because she is so tall. Uh huh.

"I'm so lucky I'm so tall, so I carried small. Also, I have to say, I had a birth that I was blessed with, a labor that was very good and a baby that was very good to me in that regard."

Well sure the baby was good to her in that regard because I'm not convinced it actually came out of her, so, yes, it was probably a very easy labor. The other thing that gets me about that quote is how formal it is. There is no joy or emotion in her words. It's like she's a doctor describing a procedure. Probably a procedure she was there watching.

But, none of the above or any of the crap she has spewed before compares with this little ditty. That's ditty, not Diddy. A ditty is a tale, Diddy is a man ho.

So, what kind of story is she spreading? Well she says that during the filming, she and six other women all went bathing in these waterfalls. Only seven women went, and all of them got pregnant. Wow, isn't that the greatest coincidence in the history of the world. Oh, and Nicole's baby? The only boy. Yep, he's the chosen one of the 7 babies. I guess maybe at some point he is supposed in life he is supposed to get the other six pregnant so they can continue the legend.

Umm, don't you think that someone like People or the publicity department for Australia would have latched onto this compelling human interest bit and made a story about it? None of the other six women has ever mentioned it? Did Nicole swear them to secrecy? Again, I think she talks way too much about this pregnancy. Everytime she opens her mouth, it just makes me believe her less. Just go on with your life and I'll wait until the kid turns 18 and the DNA test. Then you can say that one day you woke up pregnant and that you think it was Xenu who did it, but you were afraid to say anything.

91 comments:

Anonymous said...

isn't Nicole's "baby" a girl?

notachance said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
ms snarky said...

uh oh, somebody's having a pissy fit! I think there's some couples counseling needed here!

Ent, are you so angry at Nic for reproducing with someone who's not you? You have to learn to let go! but gently!

Plus, Nic had a girl. She's one of the crowd in that pool, not the mother of the new Moses.

MontanaMarriott said...

Yes, Sunday something or other, wow now they are changing the baby's sex???
Okay now I am really convinced Nicole is a tranny, lol.

notachance said...

Enty, she said all but one had girls. She didn't say she had the only boy.

I do agree about the formality of the quote, but that doesn't surprise me about her. Whenever she opens her mouth strange words come out in strange groupings. Remember, she's a 41 yr old woman trying to appear as quite educated when in fact she's a high school dropout at age 15 (something her & Keith share in common, and probably one of their very deep, deep bonds).

stina said...

Uhm, it actually makes a lot of sense with the height thing. If you're tall, the baby has lot of space to grow, and the belly doesn't have to become so huge. If you're short there just isn't any extra space on the upper half of your body.

Secondly: that picture of Nicole is quite horrible. I mean, she used to be really pretty. Now just scary. The inventor of botox should be damned or something.

j said...

You appear to have an unhealthy fixation with Nicole Kidman's baby. It may be time for restraining orders...

ms snarky said...

about the Nic not looking very pregnant thing - I'm only 5'6" and I never looked more than 7 months pregnant, even the day I deivered. Girls carry differently, and not everyone blows up like a parade balloon. Conversely, my sister, who's also
5'6" DID get to be the size of a house. You just never know.

CDAN Mod said...

let's leave kidman alone for awhile. okay?

Molly said...

first of all, 25 lbs on a woman her height (and imdb lists it as being 5'10.5") looks much smaller than on a woman 5'1", so yes, what she says is correct.

secondly, geeze louise, enty, give it a rest already my obsessed little friend. you sound like a crazed whack job and really, it's nobody's fucking beeswax.

ms snarky said...

aw, go easy on Ent. He's obviously still not over her. A man pining away for his lost Botox dealer is so sweet.

canadachick said...

STFD nicole....no one cares about you or your miracle child. Concentrate on keeping hubby off the smack why don't you ...she also says in the article :"To have raised Bella and Connor since I was 25 and now to be able to do it again at 41 ... wow!"

anyone SEEN her with Bella and Connor lately ????

Molly said...

lmao@ms snarky - queen of the snark....lolol.

Alice D Millionaire said...

Yeah my step mother is 5'6" and did not look pregnant until the last month. Her baby was a normal size too.

I think Nicole has been through enough having been married to Tommy girl...I don't even care whether she actually gave birth I just hope she is happy.

She does need to lay of the Botox but lets face it (no pun intended) women get busted on for looking old and then for trying to stay young looking...she can't win.

ms snarky said...

thanks moll - I'm blushing!

Molly said...

and really enty, you got nothin'. you haven't provided any evidence to even hint this might not be her child other than your hatred and obsession for her. who looks like the nutjob?

why, ms snarky, you blush? naaaahhhh...you know you're great at snark or you would have named yourself *ms mildly snarky*. Or *ms trying2b snarky*.

you rock the snark boat!!!

Anonymous said...

Obviously none of you saw the post birth picture when she had an absolutely flat stomach...a mere few days after giving birth...I'm not buying it either! But I do tire of the "did she or didn't she"

ms snarky said...

*ms trying2b snarky*. heh. now I am lmao! but back to Enty..... do you think he has her home address? Ahhhh! Don't get caught, Ent, we need our CDAN!

Anonymous said...

I'm just sick of her in general. But I agree with everything Ent has to say.

Lissa THEEE Pissa said...

OK, I just had to put in my two cents. First of all, her story does seem a bit weird to me, but hey, most of the world seems pretty weird to me anyway.
Second of all, my aunt is about the same size as Nicole Kidman and you couldn't even tell she was pregnant until the last two months with both her pregnancies. It's just common sense.
Now, as far as the post-delivery pics go, it's not too far-fetched that she could shed the weight that quickly. I have had FOUR children and was back in my regular jeans within two weeks of birth (size 4.) I left the hospital in size 6 jeans. Some women are lucky, some not so lucky. Maybe she really is just one of the lucky ones.
On a final note, Nicole has spoken out about how sick she was in the beginning of her pregnancy. I suffered from hyperemesis gravidarium (a fancy term for severe morning sickness) with each of my pregnancies, and actually lost weight the first trimester...

ms snarky said...

bad fish - seriously, haven't you ever heard of Spanx? magic spandex industrial strength body shapers that hold in your tummy til you're home again and can finally take a deep breath.

Lil said...

I've always thought Nicole was really pregnant. The whole tall thing so she didn't show so much is actually true, as is the fact that different women carry babies differently due to being built, well, differently. :-) Some women are just horrible creatures who don't look pregnant when they are and then go back to being skinny the minute the baby's born. Yes, they're to be reviled and scorned but only because they've been made special by Mother Nature while the rest of the women in the world have to suffer. ;-)

Molly said...

I have had FOUR children and was back in my regular jeans within two weeks of birth (size 4.)


bitch!

okay, seriously, glad you posted this because i did see the pic of kidman and didn't think anything of it because some of my friends had almost flat stomachs right after they delivered. it took me months to get back in shape but not everyone is like that.

Binky Melnik said...

@Molly: You're asking Ent to provide evidence of a negative, while Nicole has never provided evidence that SHE HAD A BABY. There have been no photos; no one has ever seen the kid. So far as anyone knows, THERE IS NO BABY, and no baby has been born yet to anyone. It sounds as if Nicole is protesting too much. Now if she were doing some of this blabbing WHILE HOLDING A BABY IN HER ARMS, it would sound a lot more plausible!

canadachick said...

i was 112lbs when i got pregnant - 136 lbs when i gave birth to a 6lb baby and 118lbs when i got home...and i've seen tall people barely show as well but oh yah i still don't think Ms.Thing had a baby and frankly who cares - if you adopted just own it already.

ms snarky said...

binkym - I have to go back to my former post on the same subject - why in the world does she have to expose her baby to the world if she doesn't want to? HER baby, her timetable. That baby isn't a sacrifice to all gossips everywhere, for goodness sake.

Sinjin said...

" That's ditty, not Diddy. A ditty is a tale, Diddy is a man ho."

That was good for a giggle Enty :-)

ms snarky said...

btw, Ent - I just re-read your entry, and the part that reads "Not content with just going about her daily business, instead we are treated to incessant stories about her pregnancy."

I'm pretty sure she's responding to questions put to her by journalists (of varying degrees), not holding unsolicited press conferences to let us all know how she's doing. Phoebe Price has that market sewn up.

If you love someone, set them free! You have to let go!

West End Girl said...

Yeah, gotta agree with Enty here. I believe in this baby's existence as I do Santa's.

Binky Melnik said...

@ms snarky: If she wants to stop all the sniping and doubting, all she has to do is to expose a part of the baby's head. That's it. She doesn't have to do a magazine cover. She can quit making quotes every other day, talking about the easy birth, the magic water, how Keither was so supporive at the birth, and all the other nonsense if she merely shows the existence of *A* baby. Any baby will do.

(Then, of course, we'd all be whispering about how that's not HER baby but rather Naomi Watts's baby, but hey! It would be a baby!)

Molly said...

binky, he's not saying he heard something or that she was seen out and about the day she was supposedly in the hospital. he's saying nothing. that's the point. he just hates her and he needs to get off of this subject because it turns most of us off.

she doesn't owe the world her child. she has a right to privacy. end of story.

also, enty wouldn't be stuck with endless stories if he wasn't looking for them in papers halfway across the globe.

Obsessed much?

Molly said...

binky, she's already exposed the baby's hand and that wasn't enough. it's her baby. she owes us nothing.

ms snarky said...

Enty's in denial, that's all. If he can believe Nic hasn't reproduced with someone else, then she might still belong to him. You know, in the alternate universe where he is king.

Sort of like my alternate universe where I am princess. Cause being queen looks like a lot of work. What with the special energy conserving hand wave, and those all those robes and crowns and processions, way too much work. That princess gig is all mine.

Lissa THEEE Pissa said...

I have to agree with Ms Snarky. It's her baby. It's her choice whether to sell said baby out or to cherish the little one's innocence. We blast so many celebrities for whoring out their children a la tabloid covers, dragging them to The Ivy, etc., but when a celebrity chooses to maintain her child's innocence and purity and the glare of the public eye, that celebrity is chastised?! I don't see the same criticism of Halle Berry for not pimping her child. Now that she's taking Nalah out in public, you see headlines like "Berry, Berry Good Mommy," yet Nicole is treated as a pariah because she still has not shown her baby's face.
The fact of the matter is, it is her child and I respect and admire the fact that she cherishes her daughter's purity and innocence in the manner that she does.

Binky Melnik said...

@Molly: You don't have to look halfway across the world for news stories about Nicole today; this "miracle water" horseshit was apparently put out by her publicist, as it hit the newswire and was picked up by every paper, big and small, around the globe. This is why we keep hearing about her and her magic baby every few days. Don't believe me? Google her then click "News."

califblondy said...

I hope she's got a real baby and a REAL husband this time and they all live happily ever after. Honestly, I'm over it. Keith is still cute and she's still strange.

Molly said...

binky, the point is, if enty says he's sick of hearing her talk about her pregnancy, and he then goes looking at news items outside our country, then he has an agenda. stop looking and you won't see half as many articles. that's the point.

Kat said...

*sigh*

She had the baby. Get over it. Why would anyone in this day and age possibly try to fool the world with a fake pregnancy? There are no secrets anymore! Just leave her alone and shaddup.

Also, a friend of mine actually went to drama school with her ages ago, and they were way past fifteen.

I'm not defending her for any personal reason, other than the fact this story is completely lame and self-serving.

Binky Melnik said...

@Molly: But the news ISN'T outside our country! IT'S HERE! Her publicist sent it out! The Associated Press ran it!

ms snarky said...

the woman has escaped from the clutches of a cult, for god's sake. I think she's incredibly wise to hide that child from cameras. She really should get a stunt baby in case they try to steal it.

Unknown said...

Lets all remember that Katie Holmes "pregnancy" photos... humongous she's 5'9" and Nicole's tiny bump when she is 5'10".

Something aint right. Between the 2 maybe both were invented in hollywood? I'm betting if Nicole's was a real preg than the kid had to have been ivf. Downs syndrome etc. Lots of old lady problems with birthing a baby at her age!

Molly said...

binky, i'm quoting enty:

In an interview with The Australian Women's Weekly, Kidman said the reason she didn't have much of a baby bump is because she is so tall. Uh huh.


oh, he just happened to be reading australian women's weekly and came across the article? gag me.

accusing any woman, whether or not you love her or hate her, of faking her pregnancy is pretty damn low, so sorry, no excuses and no pass for that from me.

Binky Melnik said...

@Scoobee: I'll see your bet and raise you that Nicole is a hermaphrodite or similar, and can't make babies. I have never believed that she has functioning baby-making parts.

ms snarky said...

binkym - she gave that quote in an interview with The Australian Women's Weekly for their 75th anniversary edition, released today. The woman was answering a question, giving an interview, not handing out a press release.

Binky Melnik said...

@Molly: From the Associated Press story:

"I never thought that I would get pregnant and give birth to a child, but it happened on this movie," Kidman told The Australian Women's Weekly in an exclusive interview for the magazine's 75th anniversary edition, released Wednesday.

Anonymous said...

Am I the only person who sees the whole miracle water thing as a joke?

Every woman is different, every pregnancy is different. I'm 5'9" and when I got pregnant with the first, I was 150 lb. I gained 45 lb. while pregnant, and at my six week checkup was 134 lb. I've known women who were size two who didn't show until the seventh month. It just all depends.

By the way, Celebrity Baby Scoop has a picture on their site of Nicole carrying a baby with wispy reddish-blonde hair, she's kissing its head but it's in a sling, facing her, so you can't see the face.

Molly said...

binky, i give up. you're just not getting it.

ms snarky said...

geez. enough already. Nic can show baby when she wants to. Let it go!

Anonymous said...

I don't like Nicole bad actress.

Brenda22 said...

Ok people, doesn't common sense tell you that if she was faking it, the prosthetic belly would've been bigger? I mean, the entire time she was pregnant, people kept doubting that she actually was. So why didn't she just go out and get a freaking bigger belly? It's not like she doesn't have the money to have the best F***ing fake belly ever made.
I'm all for good celebrity gossip, but come on people. This is silly.

ms snarky said...

binky, AP picked up the story, because Aussie Women's Weekly released it. AP got it from the magazine, not Nic's publicist. That's how news from other places gets to us. Just like magic.

ms snarky said...

bren, we don't like having a voice of reason on this thread. No common sense allowed!

lmnop123 said...

There have been recent pictures (last week) of the baby's head and hand while she was holding it in that little sack that all of the celebs. carry their children in.

On the other hand Lainey had a blind item last month about someone who had a baby but didn't allow bottles in their house. She said this woman waited so long for a baby and told everyone how she suffered endlessly until she had a baby. Now she isn't really taking care of the baby and won't allow bottles in the house. I thought it was Nicole and e-mailed Lainey. She has ruled out everyone else but has not ruled out Nicole.

That being said I think there might be reason for some suspicion regarding her desire to have and raise a child.

Lissa THEEE Pissa said...

Wow. I can't believe all the craziness this post has caused!
@Brenda- Good point. She has all the money needed to fake a better pregnancy than that...
I love you all (well, most of you,)but I think we should all move on now...

Binky Melnik said...

@ms snarky: It's remarkable how newspapers and web sites all over the world have picked up a story from (of all places) Aussie Women's Weekly! It's spread better than a Windows virus! And so instantly, too!

ms snarky said...

what's up with the no bottles thing? I mean, what's the logic - she's breastfeeding? or has wet nurses? I'm confused.

Also, if that blind is Nic, she's photographed with that bandanna baby quite a lot. Nic must be spending some time with her.

Unless......the bandanna baby is the stunt baby!

ms snarky said...

binky - AP is a wire service. (In the old days, there was an actual ticker in the newsroom, printing out headlines and story content over the "wire.") The AP exists to gather stories from around the world and send them out to their clients, who are news outlets of varying kinds.
The news outlets then choose between all the stories available on the wire service, and print what they want. Lots of news outlets who are AP subscribers have chosen to print the Nicole swimming story. That's all. It's not a conspiracy, I promise. Do we all understand now?

West End Girl said...

http://www.laineygossip.com/Nicole_Kidman_reveals_she_conceived_by_swimming_in_Outback_fertility_water.aspx?IsMicro=0

-

Lainey's post was at 7.13am, her time, which I believe is in the same zone as Enty.

Dlisted, who most of us love, also had the same story up before Enty.

All have been sarcastic and saying the same thing.

If you go back, Nicole Kidman was, allegedly, willing to show off the baby a la Brangelina but wasn't quoted what she thought she was worth.

She's not respecting whoever this child is privacy, there was just not enough monetary reasoning to.

But hey, as a forner beard and plastic surgery addict, of course everything she says is true.

Excuse me now, off to ring Bigfoot.

ms snarky said...

blah. whatever the reason, she still gets to choose her timetable for letting the bandanna baby be snapped.

Molly said...

oh i get it now. all the bloggers and gossip site bitches are pissed off that they're not getting what they want when they want it after all their demands, so they're making shit up to get back at her. it's all clear now.

PotPourri said...

I think, as a joke, what enty is saying is that the baby she was supposed to get was a boy, but she wanted a girl so she forced the movie-hand to give her the girl and she gave the boy to her!

PotPourri said...

Enty, I love Nicole, and I always will. I always will. If I can forgive her for psycho-Tom, then I can forgive everything else. She is still one of my fave movie Stahs!

ms snarky said...

I think the pool of fertility delivered the baby on a waterspout.

Don't mess with the pool of fertility, Ent! Water makes up 70% of the earth's surface! It's everywhere....and it's going to get you.

Molly said...

i think she had enty's baby and he's pissed he can't see what she looks like.

Tara said...

so its the waters...
Guess Keith Urban is off the hook

ms snarky said...

Molly - yes! and Ent's afraid that he's spawned a junior lawyer who will immediately sue him for support.

Molly said...

ms snarky - and he's also afraid the baby will look like him, revealing his identity and requiring much plastic surgery!

West End Girl said...

Molly said...

oh i get it now. all the bloggers and gossip site bitches are pissed off that they're not getting what they want when they want it after all their demands, so they're making shit up to get back at her. it's all clear now.

-

Ha, she'd be the least of my worries if I truly did have demands. I just find it all rather amusing more than anything else.

Molly said...

west end girl, not you! lainey and enty and any other blogger writing this b.s.

i'm sure you have better things to do with your life...lol.

Unknown said...

Honestly, unless you are a gay guy, are you really going to be interested in Nicole Kidman's baby? I think not.

Enty, give it up. Either get a real guy to write for you or admit that you are a woman.

Unknown said...

I do think Nicole had that baby but also believe she is the answer to the "No baby bottle" Lainey blind.

I didn't gain any weight the first 5 months of my pregnancy. Not all women are big boats while pregnant!

West End Girl said...

Haha Molly, phew although I don't know if I'd agree ;)

Molly said...

west end girl, yea, i hear ya. i'll change that to, we should have better things to do with our lives...lol.

lutefisk said...

She showed as much as Sarah Palin did with her last pregnancy.
Take it as you will.

liveunderarock said...

God, you're good Enty !
I love to watch you get them all stirred up on a slow news day with an old topic. 72 comments, cha ching. You can eat well tonight.
*wicked grin*

Molly said...

naf adrian, good one!

liveunderarock, yea, kudos to enty if his intention is to keep pissing off his fan base to the point where you and a couple others are the only ones left here. or haven't you noticed how many people have already left in the past 12 to 15 months?

Anonymous said...

My god you people are nuts.


I didnt mean pictures a week or two after she gave birth. We're talking two days. And her shirt flapped up and her stomach was exposed. It was flat.

Give me a break! YOu people talk about EL being obsessed, then you gotta go nuts defending a person whom you don't even know, who's personal life has been under shady circumstances before? Jesus.

Molly said...

bad fish why would you get so upset that some of us have a different opinion? this can't be the worse thing in your life, that we don't like this kind of gossip. if it is, i want your life!

and nobody is saying you're obsessed, we're saying enty is, so no need to insult us all.

k said...

Ent, you know the nausea-inducing reaction you experienced after reading about Aubrey O'Day and Joe Francis? Well that's what i experience every time I see a picture of this woman.

liveunderarock said...

Molly, No need for you to get pissed at me because I have a different opinion and don't take Nicole's baby as seriously as you do. This can't be the worse thing in your life that a blogger talks about Nicole Kidman more than you would prefer.

Remember debating in school? You take what you are given and argue the point whether or not you personally believe the point or not. That is the way I think of what Enty does. He takes what is in the news that day and argues it with a different spin than everyone else. You have to admit he is good enough to suck you into almost every argument.
In case you haven't noticed the topics that don't get many comments aren't revisited.

I guess I haven't noticed but one person making a big deal of leaving. There have been too many new people arriving with fresh points of view.

Molly said...

live, i'm not pissed at you so don't be as ass by mocking what i posted to someone else.

k said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
liveunderarock said...

You made it too easy. I couldn't resist the temptation to be snarky. grin. You might as well have thrown a married man in front of Sienna Miller. big grin.

I love your passion, Molly. Have a great evening.

Molly said...

you bustin' my ova, live? lmao!!

have a good one and see you back at the gossip bar tomorrow.

One Stop Insanity said...

Not looking pregnant is not reserved for tall women you idgits. I'm 5'1 and was 115 full term with healthy 6 plus pound babies. No one could tell I was pregnant in size 1 clothes.

There are alot of other reasons to doubt she wasn't pregnant. I don't think she was. Her baby was bought and paid for. Now shes a dxrama mamma with lies about it. She needs to get over her serf.

One Stop Insanity said...

Not looking pregnant is not reserved for tall women you idgits. I'm 5'1 and was 115 full term with healthy 6 plus pound babies. No one could tell I was pregnant in size 1 clothes.

There are alot of other reasons to doubt she wasn't pregnant. I don't think she was. Her baby was bought and paid for. Now shes a dxrama mamma with lies about it. She needs to get over her serf.

Little Baby Jade said...

so now Ent is on the bandwagon with Lainey and MK? WTF? she's tall, she didn't get huge and HAD a baby. no story here.

Molly said...

"Not looking pregnant is not reserved for tall women you idgits."



yea, but we're talking about a tall woman, asshole, not you.

audrey said...

I don't doubt that Nicole did get pregnant. I remember a blind about an actress having a miscarriage, and everyone jumped on the Kidman band wagon. I think her sister was the surrogate as someone else has pointed out that she has mysteriously disappeared from the face of the earth for several months. As for size following birth--ok so every one lost their baby weight right away...but what about boobs. Even if you aren't breast feeding those puppies take on a life of their own while pregnant and until the milk dries...Nicole...remarkably flat chested....Which I guess could be cause she's tall but I'm with Enty...she did not give birth to that child.

cricket said...

I don't believe she had a baby either.I'd believe she's a hermy before I would believe she actually gave birth. Everything about this "woman" is fake. Why would any one be surprised that she would fake a pregnancy and buy a kid.

Dead Angel said...

My stylist had a baby, she was so teeny I was worried about her, and she was back at work 5 days later and back at Yoga. If I hadn't seen it with my own eyes I wouldn't have believed it. On the other hand I haven't known many women in the last 10 years who packed on huge amts of weight - whether health or body conscious, it easier not to gain 70 lbs than it is to lose it.

She's highly motivated to look perfect. Nine. Look at the the cast and look at what is expected of the actresses. She had no choice but to stay thin and healthy with loads of stamina to keep that part in the movie.

Enty you is lookin' bittah.

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