Friday, September 12, 2008

Ted C Blind Item

We all have our pet peeves, not to mention issues, right? Matt Damon's are Alaskan governors and Alaskan governors, I believe. Other stars go more towards education (Oprah) or women's rights (La Streisand), etc.

But Brucey Butter-Zinger is ferociously serious about his personal peeves, as they mainly involve thinking in a particular way many people find amusing. Think Woody and his hemp-powered philosophies, only far worse—say some. But ol' Brucey, dedicated zealot he be, does not care; at least he puts up a fine job of making folks think he doesn't give a whit what they think of his nutty and often heatedly exchanged ideas.

So, it was with perfectly reasonable expectations that Mr. B-Z had his "people" approach several businesses across the street from where BBZ was planning a fancy party to benefit his less-than-popular off-camera thoughts and endeavors. He asked that the commercial endeavors all close down, just for one night (for which they would be reimbursed), so as to make the glittery do more private, not to mention easier to maneuver, vehicle-wise.

Only prob being, all the businesses said no friggin' way, thankyouverymuch, each and every single one of them. Brucey was not pleased, though you (and the store owners) would never know it. Soiree went on just fine, without a hitch, too. But those businesses that said no to Brucey? Uh, they sure had probs, big-time, when the very next ayem, all their plumbing, which had never before been problematic, backed up, causing sewage disasters out the wazoo. Interesting timing? The owners all think not and are distinctly smelling a revengeful sewer rat. Me, too.

And It Ain't: Tommy Lee Jones, Will Smith, Kanye West

37 comments:

Harriet Hellfire said...

My first thought was Gary Busey. Could just be the "Brucey' - thing though.

Diana said...

Tommie boy and Scientology???

ms_wonderland said...

Got to be Tommy-girl surely? Throwing a Scientology party. Will Smith in the ain'ts is a clue and everything else fits.

Ace Tomato said...

Scientology - Tom Cruise

Diana said...

I reread the blind and I am almost 100% sure it is TC and COS....

BZ rhymes with TC

Will Smith is connected with TC
Tommy Lee Jones - "Tommy"
Don't know what the Kanye connection is though -

Bruceeeee/ Tomeeeeee

GladysKravitz said...

diana said "Don't know what the Kanye connection is though -"

Kanye seems to have rants from outer space and TC is a xenu girl all the way? Just a guess.

rosie said...

Re: Kanye-Tom connection: Tom Cruise specifically requested Kanye West for the MI:3 soundtrack. Tom apparently made a huge deal about how much he loved Kanye. Kanye also gave a surprise performance at some Cruise tribute in May. Aside from that there is the fact that they both are known for making cocky controversial comments on t.v., (Kanyes' Bush comment and Toms' psychiatry rant among other things.

Diana said...

Hey gladys...I was kind of thinking along the same lines but thought there might be another kanyeism that tied to tc that I was not aware of... but I think your link between the two is right on the money. Just that kind of 'WAYYYYY out there' way about them.

Also, EL HATES TC and COS, so he posted Ted's blind very quickly - i'm sure he loved the opportunity to put it up here.

Molly said...

gladys and diana, i was just thinking both tc and kanye turn off a lot of people because of their anger management issues and big mouths.

ted's real name is bruce so it sometimes throws me off when he names someone bruce something. i often wonder if he's ratting on himself.

Tully Mars said...

I like the connection between Kanye & Tom and MI:3, however I think it is because Kanye is bat shit crazy and so is Tom. Connection made.

Cheryl said...

Punishing the businesses involved sounds like a COS thing to do. Thanks everyone who explained that the Kanye connection is more than just a shared penchant for rants.

JJ said...

Totally Tom Cruise.

This reminds me of when the cleaning company was fired at my office two years ago. They were upset at the firing so on their last day they flushed every piece of TP, tissue and paper towel in the building down the toilets. When we came in the next morning we had the same sewer problems. Now I'm wondering if COS has a syndicate of cleaning people in the Philly area. Hmmmm,

S said...

TC and KW are both in the closet, is my guess.

twitch said...

Can this really be about Tom Cruise? Ted said recently that he has never given the same person more than one "Blind Vice" cheesy nickname, so that would mean that this is the first time Ted is writing about Tom - could that be possible? Unless "Brucey Butter-Zinger" has been used before, in another blind, and I just don't remember it?

That said, it does SOUND like Tom, though do many people find his views "amusing"?

Spicey said...

Arnold Schwarzenegger...he is really into Hummers, and his people need room to park them.
Syllables match too.

Little Miss Smoke and Mirrors said...

Cruise.

Please.

This ain't blind.

LIPSTICK FEMINIST said...

Kanye and Cruise = gay. Lainey also just mentioned Kanye being way in the closet.

sandman said...

twitch might have a point.

mel gibson

Katja said...

ted nugent and the nra?

kaxel said...

ok, first post here.

"Bruce" is a common joke name for Australian males.

Even if I think he was born in the US, how about Mel Gibson here?

Remember his nutty religious views....

dao said...

Tom Cruise, Scientology's Celebrity Center on Franklin. At night -- especially weekends -- that block often gets backed up with traffic because there are several popular restaurants and bars there.

C said...

For some reason, and I have nothing to back it up with, Alec Baldwin came to mind first.

Politics, anger ...

Ed said...

Tommy Girl all the way.

janele said...

The syllables match Tommy Girl's if you use his real name: Thomas Cruise Mapother.

If Ted doesn't use the same nick twice for celebs, then what was the nickname Ted had used for TC before?

captivagrl said...

i thought of mel gibson or sean penn

bionic bunny! said...

my first thought was puffydoodlydoo.
see how bad i am at these?

@TULLY MARS:
i think you and i have something in common. how's the lighthouse doing?

trashtalker said...

c - Totally Alec Baldwin!

Ent - Thanks for including the And It Aint's. :)

Merlin D. Bear said...

I'm on the TC - Xenu train.
Especially since it involves sabotage when a certain group doesn't get their way.

bionic bunny! said...

c'mon, tully, i saw you post a couple of weeks ago, it's not often i find a fellow parrot head on these boards.
although, one would think i'd had my fill of them after all these years.

sorry i'm off topic, guys. i'll explain later if tully doesn't show back up!

lori said...

Would someone please tell me who COS is - thanks

bionic bunny! said...

COS = "church of scientology".
welcome to the dark side, lori! :)

liveunderarock said...

Church of (The Poison Mind) $cientology

Right Bunny? ;)

Idiot Watcher said...

Just a thought... look at the Juliette Lewis/Scientology rant that ENT posted after this. See how he keeps repeating "B-Z" throughout the post? It seemed odd when I was reading it, like he was going way overboard on the B-Z usage. Now it makes sense.

Jerry said...

I always thought of COS as Cult of Scientology.

And you folks are missing the big point here. Not only has Ted written a blind that's comprehensible, it's actually worthy of discussion.

selenakyle said...

Man, I was way off base...I thought Woody Harrelson and maybe he was hosting a NORML-type function.

Also, dumb question--how do I find the Blinds on Ted's newfangled site?
Never mind, the whole eonline site is annoying as fuck anyway.

I'll just wait to read Ted's blinds here on CDAN from now on.

selenakyle said...

Duh. I thought the thing said Woody Allen for some reason. No wonder I thoguht of Harrelson!

Yes, I know how to read. But I'm also brain-dead and working on a gorgeous Saturday morning.

Yay for NORML, anyway!

bionic bunny! said...

rock--
oh, yeah!