Wednesday, September 17, 2008

That Relationship Is Done


Christina Fulton who is the mother of Nicolas Cage's eldest child (pictured above)was supposed to get hitched this weekend in Norway to Stian Tomt Thoresen. Apparently unable to accurately spell his name, Christina instead decided to call off the wedding until she was more comfortable with her Norwegian. Of course, that isn't the reason they gave for calling it off. Oh no. The couple of course had the standard we are too busy thing excuse.

"We both have very hectic schedules, with Christina's upcoming reality show and (Dimmu Borgir's) new DVD, which is coming out this fall. There was simply too much going on at the same time."

Ummm, you are supposed to get married in three days. Presumably you had this calendared in advance. "Yeah, can't really make it for coffee that day. Getting married. Well, they do make a good espresso. Tell you what. Let me see if I can postpone this wedding thing."

See. This is the end of the relationship. Sure, they make it sound like it is just a delay, but lets face it. If you don't go through with it, then its over. I'm not talking about some kind of freak injury or a mother who drinks too much. This is just the couple saying, ummm, maybe this isn't working and we should call it off before we end up marrying and this becomes a lifetime thing of having Nicolas Cage and his bad hair in my life forever.

Now, I think they did the smart thing in calling it off, but I'm sure they pissed off a whole bunch of people who were already in the country for a wedding. Nicolas was going to attend as well as Jim Carrey, Rob Zombie and Patricia Arquette. They can afford the inconvenience. But, what about the other relatives? Do you think they wanted to go to Norway for a vacation? Maybe they wanted to go to Paris or to Hawaii, but no, Christina just had to get married in the most expensive country in the entire world.

I'm using Christina as the scape goat because presumably Stian's friends and family actually live in Norway since he is from there and lives there. But as for the demise of the relationship, probably Stian, since it was his people that put out the statement.

16 comments:

Mooshki said...

Well, you are the expert on divorces and broken engagements, so I'll take your word for it. :)

That's cool that Nic was going to be there - their kid must be happy to have parents that get along.

kris said...

yeah, that kid looks real happy...

ms_wonderland said...

Lucky Weston inherited Mommy's hair and not Pop's. He actually seems like a cool dude, unlike other celeb brats.

Katja said...

huh?

not a famous adrian said...

He is not the most attractive kid.

Harriet Hellfire said...

"...Nicolas Cage and his bad hair in my life forever".

BI reveal!

Mooshki said...

Hah, Harriet, that was one of the un-blindest blinds ever. :)

Sylvia said...

Probably when she saw this picture she had second thoughts about the wedding pictures LOL. He looks weird with those eyes LOL.

Kind of tired of the same lame excuse from these celebrities. Can't they think of something more mature than being too busy and their schedule keeps them apart. If they were not busy before how is it that they are busy now. Idiots!!

Sexecution said...

Soooo let me see, she wants to work on her Norwegian some more, doesn't the man she is getting married to know English?(he does indeed, and is very articulate!) Most Norwegians speak English PERFECTLY, so unless they only expected people who don't go to Europe to believe that, it was stupid to use for part of an excuse.

The Dimmu Borgir connection also explains Weston's look. To be fair it's sad when it's called off so close to the event - she's got to be heartbroken, and what a fight it must have been.

k said...

It was really fun reading Dagbladet (a norwegian newspaper) and Stian saying that it was true that all those celebs were attending the wedding and then this! Nice try, Shagrath!

selenakyle said...

Wait--who the hell are these people--mother and son? A couple? Nic's kid and HIS fiancee? Nic's kid's mother and HER fiance?

Totally confused. Ent--you taking syntax lessons from the Daily Mirror now?

Who the F is whom, here?

BTW--Dimmu Borgir--bwahahahahaaa!

selenakyle said...

And if it IS mother and son pictured here, why is her hand inside his jacket?

Gyahhh, I need time off. Can't even decipher gossip for fuck's sake.

Grace said...

This pic looks as if the cougar moved in on a 16-year-old high school junior and likes to make out in his upstairs bedroom with the posters on the walls.

Little Blue Pill said...

Selenakyle said Wait--who the hell are these people--mother and son? A couple? Nic's kid and HIS fiancee? Nic's kid's mother and HER fiance?

Yea that's what I was wondering. Ent, when you write Christina Fulton who is the mother of Nicolas Cage's eldest child (pictured above) you are saying that only the eldest child is in the picture. But then you give the picture the name "cf" - does that mean the son's initials are "cf" or did you give us a picture of Christina Fulton instead and if you did your previous sentence saying only the son was in the picture doesn't compute. Sorry but you confused the CDAN jury and we demand a revisement! Now what the fuck was the topic about anyway..shit I need a recess.

Little Blue Pill said...

Grace I resemble that remark. LOL

Angel said...

...and now they are happily married...
You know sometimes, postpone... means just that.... LOL...