Friday, October 17, 2008

Ted C Blind Item

OK, you sexual preachers, it's been quite the week for preferences and politics, all zeroing in on just what we do in the privacy of our bedrooms. Are some actors gay but pretending to be straight? Vice versa? And how much leaning one way or the other then negates one's true sexual calling?

Forget all that. 'Cause here we got one majorly obvious hetero dude and his skanky actions with chicks. No, not in between the sheets, hons. We're goin' for where it counts: the wallet. And the schmuck-wad factor. Listen...

Henry Skank hasn't always been in the lauded limelight. It's been a slow crawl upwards from his hole-in-the-wall comedy days to makin' sweet paydays like he is now, just secs into the big-green club. But what he lacked in his bank account mere moments ago, he made up for with tons of babes.

Back when he was just a struggling funnyguy instead of the nascent success job he is now, H.C. was dating three babes all at the same time, and not one of 'em knew about the other. He even had the audacity to gift each gal the same exact present recently. Even more unfortunate, the prezzies were from not Tiffany's, but Walgreens, painfully proving the dude wasn't rolling in dough—or class.

Cheap goodies can be found, darling, but not there. At least, not when orgasms are involved. Who knew this somewhat handsome man—who's still with one of these honeys (apparently the one who doesn't mind drugstore romance)—was once such a cretin Casanova? Guess women aren't lying when they say they like a guy who makes 'em laugh. But they probably prefer a man who's monogamous.

29 comments:

Mooshki said...

Okay, who's pushin' in on my boy Owen's territory?! LOL!

Ed said...

I was thinking of tyler perry for this one

Dee said...

Dane Cook?

Dulcinea said...

Jinx, Dee! Dane Cook is my guess too.

bflogurl said...

count me in on the Dane Cook guesses too!

shazzzba said...

You know this is sooo sad...it's almost funny...what a jerk !

canadachick said...

could be dax shephard

Priscila said...

Don´t care about this blind

When Ent is going the reveal he Old Hollywood one?

me wants it now!!

Molly said...

my first guess was also dane cook.

Mooshki said...

Canadachick, Dax and Kristen look really happy together, so I doubt it's him. (It better not be!)

ms_wonderland said...

Dane Cook has been at the top for a while now, so it can't be him. This one only started making 'sweet paydays' 'mere moments ago'. So it's a stand-up comedian who recently made it into films or a big TV show. Russell Brand fits, but he wouldn't buy prezzies from Walgreens.

Lissa THEEE Pissa said...

Anyone else notice that Ted calls the guy Henry Skank, but in the next paragrapsh uses the initials HC? Slip up or hint?
I'm going with Dane Cook just because of that...

Dead Kennedy said...

Lissa theee pissa, you ain't nuthin but fine. You are the exceptionally beautiful woman I've been searching for all of my life. I want you desperately but I'm in a hurry. For obvious reasons.

Dead Kennedy said...

I did Madonna.

And she wasn't that great.

Quintessential Southerner said...

tyler perry is dl.

i'm not high maintenance, but i damn don't want a cheap gift. hell, sales go on all the time.

dreadpiratecuervo said...

Seth Rogen?

shazzzba said...

Tyler Perry....no he's not cheap...no way

not a famous adrian said...

Dane Cook 1st popped into my head.
Jessica Simpson seems like she would accept something from Walgreen's.

deity2 said...

Dreadpirate.....my 1st thought was Seth Rogen as well.

Sylvia said...

Dane Cook is not even good looking. I find him disgusting, stupid and an idiot. Also a bad actor if that is what you call acting lol.

Molly said...

sylvia, that's why he fits. i think the blind said semi good looking...lol. (or a similar phrase)

lauramart said...

I think of the Pivert right away.

janele said...

Ted's column has the initials as "H.S.". Maybe Enty was typing with one hand again...

Jamie's Girl said...

Oh yeah, Jeremy Piven. He's that type of a classless ashole. Anyway, I was thinking Dane Cook too.

BTW, I'll take a gift from Walgreens. I'm not picky.

Miss X said...

there's a comment on Ted's column that refers to "HC" so it wasn't Enty's slip up, it was Ted's!

that means I'm going with dane Cook.

Seth Rogen has a live-in GF. I saw him on Letterman. He talked about how she wants a dog but he's against it b/c "dogs are a gateway drug to babies" maybe not the exact quote, but it was funny

CalamityJane said...

I REALLY don't want this to be Stephen Colbert.

Say it aint' so ENTY!

PleaseGodpleaseGodpleaseGodpleaseGodpleaseGodpleaseGodpleaseGodpleaseGod.

KellyLynn said...

I'm on the Dane Cook bandwagon.

slappywhyte said...

sounds like Bill Mahr, doesnt he have a movie out

slappywhyte said...

oh wait ... he said "somewhat handsome" ... that takes that ugly mfer Mahr out ...