Thursday, November 27, 2008

"Mom & Dad. Meet Caz"


The holidays are a time when you introduce your special someone to the family. It could be because you are looking for any excuse to not spend the holidays with your own family, or it could be that when everyone is bloated with food and wine they will forget the fact the first time they saw your new significant other was when you were groping her at a nightclub.

Such is the case with Michael Phelps. Michael and his girlfriend have been dating for about two months but he decided to take her home and meet the family. Apparently his girlfriend Caz works at Moon nightclub in The Palms. Yes, that is the very same nightclub where those photos were released showing Michael groping a cocktail waitress' butt. And yes, that lovely gropee is in fact now meeting the family.

That night was the first night they met and hey, I'm happy for them. It also goes to show you that I in fact can be wrong about the intentions of Michael that night. He obviously saw her as something more than an object an I apologize. I'm wrong a great deal in life so this is not the first time I've had to apologize.

20 comments:

*girl said...

Too bad it's Thanksgiving for you guys and not Christmas, or I'd be able to make a nice comment about Phelps giving her the "holiday goose".

Little Blue Pill said...

Did you hear the one about a turkey, the un-dressing and the cramberry's juice?

TinyHats said...

Ew. Why the hell would Michael Phelps want to actually date that chick? Sperm-burping gutter trash like her are meant to be fucked then dumped, not taken home to meet the family!

Can you imagine all the cocks that have been in her? You'd probably have to use a quantum computer to calculate how many times this skank has been violated...and Michael Phelps is actually putting it where all those others have been before him. He's gonna get a scorching case of the GonosyphillAIDS. What a lucky guy!

Basically, he's an idiot, and if he's gonna bang that slut, then he deserves to have his dick rot and fall off. She's gonna steal his money, or get pregnant and take him for whatever she can get, you mark my words. And he deserves every bit of it, for being stupid enough to actually date someone with such a lack of morals and self-respect. You get what you pay for, and she looks like she's worth about $2, so when she gets done with her gold-digging, he's gonna be one sad puppy. And I'm gonna laugh my ass off, and say "I told you so!" It's gonna be SWEET!

shakey said...

Tiny Hats! Wow! Love the "sperm-burping gutter trash" description, though.

He already has the herp, so what you said could essentially apply to him as well, non? Besides, didn't he have a long-time girlfriend when he groped juicy drawers there?

I bet they're having fun sitting at the dinner table right now - her snapping her gum and saying "Ewwww. What's THAT." as she points to the cranberry sauce.

Hotseat said...

um michael phelps came from what is essentially white trash. they probably will like her. plus a girl with some looks could brighten up that gene pool. he is the worst butterface out there.

schneefloeckli said...

TinyHats, wow! Here I was thinking Thanksgiving had something to do with being and nice and stuff... Do you know this girl personally? And are you sure she's a hooker and not a cocktail waitress?

KellyLynn said...

I gotta agree with schneefloeckli on this one. She may be gold digging, but if he's happy enough with her to introduce her to the family, why knock it? He reportedly turned down having anything to do with Lindsay Lohan, so he isn't totally lacking class.

shakey said...

Maybe he thought she was too high falutin' for him! snicker snicker snicker.

sandman said...

hey tinyhat, lighten up francis.

not a famous adrian said...

I wonder if she wore one of her work outfits, or something casual?

stiffkittens said...

I dont know how you can have so much venom for someone you dont know (and who isnt Madonna/Denise/Mischa/Katy/enter famewhore name here). I mean, you dont have any real dirt on her yet - so maybe save the snark for when it can be directed at something :)

You have no idea if she is a skank or not - or how much of one; so until the Phelps sex tape gets leaked (DEAR GOD NO!) i think we should focus on that ugly tattoo/skid mark on her back.

Admittedly, that does look remarkably like a tramp stamp...

Rare Avis said...

wow.

Dschingis said...

phelps said:

all i can is sleep, eat and swim...

so ... why wonder...

:-)

BlackseatDriver said...

Michael Phelps is the perfect example of the Hero-Sh$thead Roller Coaster Phenomenon..He definitely needs a wrangler if he is going to expand the 15 min mark..endorsements wise anyhow..Although whats wrong with giving a face to Valtrex?

TinyHats said...

schneefloeckli-

Hmm...maybe Thanksgiving is about being nice, but the truth is, I'm not a nice person, and I don't pretend to be one. When you go against your nature, you get constipated, so I think it best to just be my usual venomous, hateful self. Also, just LOOK at her! Of COURSE she's a whorebag. People with class, self-respect, intelligence and morals just do not do that shit, I don't care what anyone says.

stiffkittens-

She's a famewhore, just not one that we have seen a lot of yet. But she IS one, no doubt about it, and I personally have a lot of disdain for people who, instead of relying on themselves to make a decent living, whore themselves out to any guy who will buy them expensive trinkets. In fact, I have more contempt for women like this than I do for the common gutter prostitute, because at least the gutter whore is making her OWN money, instead of gold-digging and giving herself airs. Hell, the gutter whore KNOWS AND ADMITS she's a whore, but this bitch probably thinks she's some kind of princess, instead of just another whore (a high-priced whore is still a whore, you know). So maybe that explains some of my venom towards this skank...

shakey-

He already HAS herpes? No shit! How did you find that out?

stiffkittens said...

Tophats:
You are almost certainly 100% correct, but there is a 0.0548% chance she could be working there to pay for university/college to become a doctor, and has a sick grandma at home that she needs to care for at the weekends which stops her working then. 5 years ago i would have laughed if someone told me i would see photos of Britney Spears shaving her head and going out in not much more than period stained panties, but look how that turned out ;)
Anything is possible i guess.

The herp comment was in reference to the following blind, which most assumed was Phelps (me included):

Ted C Blind Item

It can be a rocky journey to the top, and no one knows this better than Finnegan Furrow-Brow. He's been in the spotlight for years, but never had that star recognition until most recently. See, Finny's a younger-type dude who's been thrust upon this world of flashing lights and flashing panties simply due to his ambitious achievements (which, of course, means he's starting to dabble in all kinds of crossover activities too, which usually happens with the young, firmly muscled and pretty popular).

F's tight ass and adorable smile def don't hurt his fame cred, either, but newly minted megamoney and magnified status aside, FFB isn't exactly a traditional knockout stud. Regardless, his basically "unthreatening" demeanor gets girls into the throes of his sheets all the damn time, anyways. But...these digging damsels shouldn't be too eager. Here's why:

Despite Frazzy's best ass-getting efforts, when it comes down to it, he often has difficulty knocking the cojones outta the park. Why? Oh, not because of any diss-able effort on his part—turns out, actually it's quite the opposite, as Mr. F.B.'s predicaments usually occur because he's such a good guy. See, he got the herp. And being the nice boy he is, he'll always warn (hugely unlike most of his H-town counterparts, hugely) these supple potential nooky sirens that he has herpes, but not to worry cause they can "just use a condom."

Cue girl's exit. Almost always.

Sheesh, maybe the dude should take that offer Miley Cyrus shot down and start reppin' rubbers? At least he'd get the (bigger) bucks if not the girl.

And It Ain't: Jesse McCartney, Cristiano Ronaldo, Roger Federer

Bad Fish said...

That one he's fondling isn't even the one he ended up with. The girl he is with is Asian. I'm with TinyHats (oh how I hope that's a ref to Tim and Eric!) People who respect themselves would not be acting like that, or even working at The Palms. I mean look at the uniform.

gillian said...

lol at the ongoing 'Ho or No Ho?' debate! Whatever she is, she is quids in if she acts quick enough. Phelps is equally guilty of ho-ing his way around the block, so why feel sorry for him?

Mr Mojo Risin said...

First off that's a go-go dancer not a waitress. Caz isn't even in that picture.

William said...

To all the people out there who think that the lady is just a cocktail waitress and not a complete skank/whore, YOU ARE WRONG!! Everything about her - clothes, posture, tattoo, hair - screams "trailer trash!!"
Phelps used to be someone I looked up to and respected. Now he's been caught up in the DWI incident, the bong/marijuana incident, and now this!? I sincerely hope that someone photoshopped his face onto all those pictures.