Jean-Claude Killy
Hedi Slimane
Francois Truffaut
Cary Grant
Alain Delon
Mick and Keith
Robert Redford
Pete Doherty
Michael Caine
Jack Nicholson
If you think you can handle some Full Frontal Friday action, go ahead and click here, but remember. NSFW. Not even close to being safe. Yes, it is Simon Rex.
When I say Friends edition, I don't want everyone to think that a cast member of Friends is in any of these because they are NOT. When I say cast member, I mean one of the six regulars. Not that any other cast member who ever appeared on the show is in here either, but I just don't know.
When I do say friends, I mean such as from AP, so let's start with her.
#1 Like all good AP stories, they take place in a bathroom. But unlike in the past, this one takes place in a men's room. Yes, AP was in a men's room. She says because the line was too long for the women's. I don't know. For all I know she could have been having sex with a total stranger. Kind of like the B list married film actor she saw in the men's room making out and reaching in the pants of another man. The B lister was in 2 of the top 25 films last year.
#2 As tax season slowly trickles in, I am hearing from our accountant more, and hopefully the stuff will be as good as last year. Seems that there is this recently married male singer who is running a call girl ring. Our singer has ten condos leased in three different cities all under a corporate name. Checks go out to the leasing companies for the condos, and each day the accountant is getting money orders from people living in each of the condos. Now, I guess the tenants could be paying daily rent, but since the average amount sent in each day is $3000, that would be some expensive rent.
#3 Which spouse of a Presidential candidate is having an affair? (Not Bill. Would that really even be a shocker anyway?)
#4 Which married A list television actor was kissing his girlfriend at a supermarket last week, when he felt a tap on his shoulder and turned around to see it was his in-laws.
One of the coolest people on the entire planet. Amber Tamblyn takes the top spot. ECA.
Because Amber went to an event and got her photo taken, Ali Larter and her newly adorned ring finger are relegated to second position.
This was quite the event. Wish I would have been invited, but then I would have done something idiotic and gone up to Jessica Alba and asked her if Tom came to her first and offered her money to marry him, and then turn and ask Katie which name she truly f**king prefers.
It wouldn't be a Friday here without some Johnny Depp. I haven't had a chance to look for some full frontal for you today, so this will have to do for now. If he opened his shirt a bit more you could have a little nip slip of Mr. Depp. I will refrain from posting the nip slip photo I found of Amy Winehouse yesterday.
Wow. Ummm. You know, I just feel so bad that Jessica Biel had the bad lip injection and the horrible color job, that I am just going to lay off saying anything bad about her. The fact that she can still smile despite the horrible beauty atrocities that have been committed against her this past week preclude me from saying anything further about her that would leave her even more scarred and hideous than she is now.
Speaking of scarred. I know Justin Long is going to get hiss heart scarred when Drew Barrymore finally breaks up with him. Oh, she will, and Justin Long will be crushed. This is a guy who is plainly way more in love with Drew than she with him.
Bear with me on this one. Do you remember the scene in Planes Trains And Automobiles where they need money and John Candy starts selling shower curtain rings in the bus station. Forget the fact that you have never seen a bus station with people in it who actually have money, but he sold a bunch of teenagers shower curtain rings but called them earrings to make the sale. These are those earrings and they look just as stupid on Beyonce as they did on the three girls in the scene. Maybe 4 girls. Maybe the train station and not the bus station.
I just know that this movie with Tracy Morgan and Ice Cube is going to be great. It is actually a movie I am looking forward to which doesn't happen often. I also promised DNfromMN that I would go see Juno. So, I am going to do the whole pay for one and sneak around for free to the other 23 screens. Not that I would encourage any of you to break the law, but you know, if they are going to put that many screens in one place, and only one 16 year old kid to keep watch, stuff is going to happen.
I don't think Tyson Beckford is in the Top 50 GQ stylish list, but this looks damn good on him. Bastard.
Speaking of bastards. No, not really. It looks like Val Kilmer only has about 50 more punds to lose so I'm happy for him. Hopefully by the time he hits the beach next summer he will have lost enough weight where we can safely look at his photos again, or he could just wear a shirt. Have I told you I love Rosario Dawson. She looks like she wants to go out tonight. See who is really paying attention. Also if you notice in the background there is a sighting of Dylan McDermott who although doing the single guy thing in Miami last week made his way back to LA to support my favorite name.
Shiva. Who this week is using the McDermott thing. He is just stringing you along baby. Hopefully Kerry Washington told you the same thing, but I am available for hugs or jello fights. Or just coffee. A text?
I just hope that Kim Kardashian is pregnant because at her present rate of weight gain, she will explode sometime around January 26th. She has gained 5 pounds since the other photo earlier this week. Reggie you better start praying it isn't yours.
At this rate, OJ Simpson will quite possibly get to explore each and every state's prison system before he finally dies. OJ was arrested for a possible bail violation and was thrown into a Florida jail. Allegedly OJ the idiot called one of his co-defendants in his Las Vegas robbery case and identified himself as Miguel.
Apparently Miguel didn't like the way the co-defendant testified at a preliminary hearing, and felt he treated OJ wrong. Of course Miguel was probably just doing this on behalf of OJ, and OJ has no idea who the hell Miguel is. I think next time OJ should go for the name Kumar. He might as well involve every ethnic group in his parade of idiocy.
The good thing for all of us is that OJ is running out of money so before long he might end up with some public defender right out of law school, and OJ will end up sharing a bunk with a guy. Named Miguel of course.
So, the SAG Awards are on January 27th. No one usually notices except the actors. Basically if you are an actor and had any job, you get an award. There are so many actors nominated that at last count there had been 14 corrections to the nominations list. If you try and print out all the names of those nominated it runs to almost 25 pages. Anyway, since it is not being picketed by the WGA, there are high hopes that people will actually pay attention to it this year.
The actors who are going from ABC, and ABC Studios and Disney and everyone else under that massive umbrella are going to have to pay for their own expenses that night. Usually the networks and studios pick up the tab for limos and hair and the blow (dry) in return for lots of mentions of the respective networks or studios. Kind of like watching a NASCAR driver speak.
ABC and the entire Disney family though feel that they will be paying actors money to go to a SAG award show. SAG is the same organization that is telling its members not to go on ABC for Jimmy Kimmel and have not gone to any other award show this season because of picket lines.
NBC and Universal are also said to be having the actors pay for everything because they are pissed that the actors aren't going on Leno and Conan and caused the whole Golden Globe fiasco.
I think the studios might be wise to remember that the actor's contracts end in just a few short months, and I bet that in their next contract they put in a provision that will make the studios always pay for these types of events just to get back at them.
At this point, I don't even think I need to read the book next week when it comes out. Here is the latest to have been leaked:
Andrew Morton is claiming in his book that Katie Holmes signed a contract to commit to Scientology and that her father brokered a high-paying pre-nup. Morton claims Cruise had Holmes sign a document before they started dating that allowed "Scientologists full control over her life."
Now I know why she blinks a bunch when they let her out into the sun. It is all making sense now. The alleged document required Holmes to "turn only to Scientology's treatments" for herself and her children's welfare and "must never use psychiatric care or psychiatric drugs." I hope that she is till allowed to drink herself into a stupor. Maybe she has found some member of the staff she trusts, and she sits up in her padded cell at night, slowly sipping on some gin and juice. Oh yes, definitely gin and juice. Katie is old school.
Morton maintains that Holmes' father, Martin, an attorney, negotiated a pre-nup that would award her $3 million for each year of their marriage.
When contacted by US Weekly about the allegations, Holmes' rep had no comment and the Church of Scientology told Us, "Ms. Holmes never signed any agreement."
Holmes' rep? Please. Like Katie Holmes' rep has anything to do except say yes sir to both Paul Wagner and Tom Cruise. As far as the Scientologists. You notice they don't deny the existence of an agreement, just that Katie didn't sign one, she just had it implanted with all of the other computer chips they loaded her with on her wedding night and the sperm of L Ron.
WHICH political candidate showed extreme bad judgment in the woman he picked to have an extramarital affair with? The New Age hippie, who friends say "mooches off other people and sleeps on their couches because she doesn't believe in money," tells anyone who will listen about her fling with the good-looking guy. She recently walked up to a Page Six pal she'd just met and said, "Oh, I'm so stressed out. I've been having an affair with [a candidate]."
Notice the say political candidate. So, in reality it could be someone running for your local City Council.
Sam Shepard
The Ramones
Woody Allen
Warren Beatty
Willem de Kooning
Andre 3000
Al Pacino
Marlon Brando
Michael Jordan
Sean Connery
Surprise! Gotcha babes, didn’t I? You probably think this Vice is gonna be about some sexually repressed, hugely successful TV sitcom actor from the '90s who got caught servicing some random model in the walk-in closet of some Hollywood mansion, right? Well, for a rare change, this little walk-in wondering you’re about to experience is not about fellating some random fella, sorry.
Nope, this sordid story’s about something quite grotesque and hideous. Have you eaten yet? No? Then please, close this item, go get sustenance, wait at least 20 minutes (maybe 30) and then, only then, give things another try.
Ya see, Ellen DeGeneres’ canine catastrophe is chopped liver compared to today’s Blind job. First off, our source is one of the myriad personal employees reporting to one Slurpa Pop-Off, the bitch who serviced that dude in the bathroom of that Sunset Strip eatery, if you remember, and we’re sure you do.
Now, many times our lady of the Slurpa has brought a brand-new pooch home as a new pet, which she fawns all over until it dawns on the dummy she’s now in charge of a living, breathing animal—and not a stuffed Pound Puppy. And, gosh, responsibility is not our go-to girl’s strong suit. Therefore, upon leaving her house, she often locks these pups in one of her many closets, supposedly to prevent them from making messies all over her expensive pad.
But, uh, sometimes SPO would be gone for hours...days...weeks...and not tell anybody about the dog in its wardrobe dungeon. The animal’s existence would simply slip from her mind! Oh, doesn’t that happen to everybody? While cleaning the house, Pop-Off’s staff have—reportedly more than once—opened a closet to discover a tiny, dead dog.
Beyond hideous. I swear, I may have to out this bitch. But Pop-Off’s employees just may have beaten moi to the punch, as animal services have been alerted.
And just why the hell is this woman still allowed to purchase pooches? Please neuter and spay your pets, otherwise their offspring might one day meet their maker in Slurpa’s closet captivity.
This celebutard is using some security camera videos of his current B list film actress girlfriend taking drugs and having sex with at least two different men other than the boyfriend in order to keep her in a relationship with our celebutard. It's not so much the drugs that are keeping her in the relationship, but rather the two men she is having sex with. Does it sound like she did the two guys at once? Good. Because she did. An actor no matter how lame he has become lately is not a celebutard for purposes of this item.
"Keep bending those knees Kate. Lower. Lower. Lower. Hey, I'm short. Lower. Make like Mini-Me and get shorter."
"I'm only going to tell you one more time. You go where I tell you, when I tell you, or you don't get to run in the marathon."
Like the world needs another Jessica Simpson. Jessica Alba is wearing a really good wig though.
When you have a purse as big as a suitcase and it still can't handle your day to day requirements, it may be time for Hilary Duff to become one of those people who drag their luggage behind them all day.
I know Gisele Bundchen probably loves this hometown designer she is wearing, but on Project Runway they would hate it. She looks like Heidi on crack.
Speaking of crack. No, I'm not saying Mary Kate Olsen is on crack. Unless you know something I don't which isn't that tough. I wonder how many people walked by where she was crouched and gave her their spare change.
I don't know wtf Megan Fox was thinking when she put this thing together, but there just had to be drugs involved or a serious cash payment.
Or there could have been a Brian Austin Green behind it as well. He doesn't really have anything else to do or a way to make money so he pimps out his girlfriend and her fashion choices.
So explain to me how a woman, and for example, we will use Keri Russell here, can be bundled up like Nanook of the north. Probably freezing and dying to get out of the New York winter, but still wears sandals. Why would you do that? I am woefully ignorant about that.
I'm not ignorant about why Prince William keeps going back for more with Kate Middleton though. She's a freak. Yep. Rick James freaky, and makes the Prince come back running whenever he goes a little too long without.
Suri's dad?
Two icons of fashion. Kenneth Cole and Tim Gunn. I like Tim better.
My never heard of them before people are Summer Glau and Thomas Dekker. OK, so some of you have heard of them, but not very many.
This is Ricki Lake at the same event that Keri Russell was all bundled up. I understand this more. Ricki is just risking frostbite to look gorgeous and will run inside quickly.
Queen Latifah and her trainer. You never know when you are going to need a quick workout, even at a movie premiere.
Which freaky reality show rejects are being touted around clubs for silly money and free drinks? They don't realise that the clubs would pay just to keep them out...
After reading about Broadway child molester James Barbour last week I thought justice would be done and that he would never get to work again on Broadway. Not only isn't that true, but in his latest production they are going to alter the timetable so that Barbour can play the lead.
The NY Post ran an interview yesterday with Ron Sharpe who is the producer of James Barbour's new play Tale of Two Cities. Producer Ron Sharpe says the $12 million "A Tale of Two Cities" would "absolutely" open on Broadway with Barbour as Sydney Carton, a dissolute British lawyer who winds up rescuing a French aristocrat from the guillotine.
Jay Handelman, the influential critic for the Sarasota Herald-Tribune, thinks Barbour is so good, he elevates the material. "If they took him out of it, I don't know how it would be," the critic says. "No one in the show is up to his level."
Last week in my post, I said that Barbour groped the 15 year old girl at his apartment after first groping her backstage after a performance. It turns out that groping was not the only thing done at Barbour's apartment. He also admitted to having oral sex with the girl, even though, he said, "I knew she was 15."
So, let's give the guy an opportunity to take advantage of the new teenage cast members on the show. What makes this even more disgusting is that Ron Sharpe has his own website, and on his website he refers to his daughter as his finest production. Wait until Barbour gets done with her.
On Sharpe's website, I think you should feel free to leave comments about his decision to retain the child molester and have him performing with teenage girls alone. I also encourage Les Suckno to comment or e-mail to his heart's content on Sharpe's website and everyone else who has an opinion as well. In case you are having trouble finding the e-mail address it is: info@russellsharpeproductions.com
Feel free to copy and paste.
Thanks to SKTR for the tip.
Trying to be a good big sister, but ultimately failing, Mischa Barton went on the Ryan Seacrest show this morning to talk about her own DUI. What she was really trying to do though was divert attention from the drug overdose of her sister over the holidays and the sister's subsequent admittance to another round of rehab.
Must be tough for Hania Barton to have an older sister who is so responsible and who abstains from drugs, or doing anything wrong and is such a good role model. Whooops. Maybe all of that following the sister example was part of the problem.
So to deflect from the Enquirer story about Hania, Mischa tried to throw herself under a bus, but ultimately just cared too much about herself and her survival to take a big publicity fall for her sister. The church thing didn't work, so instead went to the Church of Ryan where everyone gets their ass kissed, and twice if you are really famous.
On Ryan's show she had the following important things to say.
"Obviously I'm 100 percent responsible for my actions in this case. I'm really disappointed in myself. I don't know what to say about it, except that I'm not perfect, and I just don't ever intend to do something this stupid again."
That was actually a very good start, and thinking she might actually be growing up or really being a good sister, but it went downhill from there.
"I was out with some friends and actually hadn't been driving earlier in the night, but I wanted to get my car home." Barton explained. "I can't really get into specifics. We've got the case coming up, and I'm not supposed to say anything about what happened. I was pulled over."
Barton, who was also cited for not having a valid license when she was pulled over, added: "I didn't have a license. I grew up in New York, the land of people who don't have to drive. It's always been the toughest thing about living in L.A. for me. I usually try not to get behind the wheel."
This of course directly contradicts all the photos of earlier in the day with Mischa sitting behind the wheel of a car, smoking what appears to be pot, and she has lived in LA for a very long time now. I understand she wants to protect herself and doesn't want to come out and say she was guilty, but what is the worst that is going to happen to her? If she is convicted I think she has to serve about 30 minutes in the Sheriff's office and then she is on her way. Being from NY is not an excuse to a crime. Not normally being behind a wheel is not an excuse to a crime.
Just grow up. This isn't the biggest deal on the planet. Now, if you let yourself get knocked up with Cisco Adler's baby, that would be a big deal. If it was Ryan Seacrest's baby, well, that would be even bigger. That would be something to worry about. DUI, and all that other stuff. From the way things are headed here in LA, I'm not sure they are going to even give out tickets anymore for it. Shameful, but reality.
Hubert de Givenchy
Gianni Agnelli
David Hockney
Kurt Cobain
Arnold Palmer
Samuel Beckett
Peter O'Toole
Miles Davis
The Kennedy Brothers
Jean-Paul Belmondo
In an interview with Essence Magazine, Tyra Banks tries to get us to feel sorry for her and forget that she is fact a world class spoiled jackass.
"I'd go to work [on 'The Tyra Banks Show'], and women would be crying in my arms. But then I'd go home and put my key in my door and … nothing. No friends, no husband, no children. I feel so full when I'm at work but so empty when I come home."
Well maybe if you first started treating your employees like human beings that would be a good first step. Maybe if you were not so mean to every person you have ever met in your entire life who couldn't help you get a step ahead would be a good second step. Maybe if you dated guys who were under the age of 50, and had less than $50M in their bank accounts that would be a good third step. Maybe if you spent less time complaining, and more time doing, that would be a good fourth step.
Hell Tyra, by the time I'm done we could have a whole 12 Step program all here and ready for you. Not that it would do any good. Have you ever wondered why you don't have any friends? Have you ever wondered why no one ever wants to hang out with you a second time unless they are getting paid for it?
I'm not saying Tyra is the only person or celebrity who acts this way, but what sucks is her giving an interview to a national magazine and trying to get us to feel sorry for her actions which caused the result. Woe is you Tyra? I don't think so.
In his new book, Andrew Morton allegedly shoots down any and all rumors about the possibility of Tom Cruise being gay. Of course, as Tom Cruise's lawyer said, "the book is sick stuff" and I believe also called it a pack of lies.
I actually think this is an article that was planted by Tom's side, because it seems too perfect. Here is the quote from the article:
Tom Cruise: An Unauthorised Biography claims the actor has chased women throughout his life.
Melissa Gilbert, who dated Cruise when he was 19 before being dumped for Heather Locklear, told Morton: "I can honestly say he's a very sexual person. There was a lot of making out on the couch in my mom's living room."
One former date claimed he was homophobic after seeing his reaction to musical La Cage Aux Folles, saying: "Men dressed as women, he couldn't handle it. We had to leave before the intermission. It really bothered him. He was definitely homophobic."
I don't see how either of those two quotes really are determinative of whether Tom Cruise is gay or not. Making out with a girl while her parents are home is probably something lots of teenage guys have done who come out later in life. Notice that Melissa didn't say that Tom was throwing her down on the couch and making her scream so loud her parents woke up.
Men dressed as women? There is no way that would bother an actor who was serious about his craft or studied the way theatre used to be. Men always took women's roles, and so I have a feeling that if the second quote is even halfway accurate, Tom probably was either sick, or was getting way too horny and couldn't handle it anymore.
Although they are not even dating, the planted stories are beginning to emerge which say that Casey Aldridge doesn't want to date Jamie Lynn Spears anymore until she proves that he is the father. "[Casey] wants a paternity test. [He] doesn't want to be with her until he's sure that he's the father."
Of course, I don't think Casey wants to be with her at all unless he is getting paid some serious money to be with her. Even if the child were his, which we know it isn't, I don't think he really wants to spend the rest of his life with the potential train wreck of a Spears child.
These stories that are being released could be stories from the Jamie side of the family so that way they can start to soften the blow that Casey is not the dad, or they could be coming from Casey's side because he wants more money to pretend he is the dad.
Either way this should be fun for the next few months.
Which small-screen starlet has a penchant for leather and lace whenever she hooks up with a new guy - despite the fact she?s supposed to be dating a co-star?
**Update**The editors over at Golf For Women have set up a poll today for everyone to decide whether or not Kelly should get to keep her job. If you get a chance, click on the link and vote.
Tiger Woods saw no insult or ill will in a television commentator's comment that any golfer trying to test him might have to "lynch him in a back alley", Woods' agent said in a statement.
This story is a non-issue," Steinberg said. "Tiger and Kelly are friends and Tiger has a great deal of respect for Kelly. Regardless of the choice of words used we know unequivocally that there was no ill-intent in her comments. "This story is a non-issue in our eyes. Case closed."
Well, I'm glad Tiger is so forgiving, but I still think it was probably the worst thing an announcer has ever said on television. I'm still wondering how she has managed to keep her job. I wonder if Tiger Woods has enough power to keep her on the air despite the fact that the Golf Channel received thousands upon thousands of e-mails telling them to take her off the air.
For her part, Kelly Tilghman had this to say. "On Friday during our golf broadcast, Nick Faldo and I were discussing Tiger's dominance in the golf world and I used some poorly chosen words," she said.
"I have known Tiger for 12 years and I have apologized directly to him. I also apologize to our viewers who may have been offended by my comments."
May have been offended? She can't be serious. She acts like most of the people are on her side and the ones who found it offensive are heavily outnumbered.
Back in November this was still big news, but as time has passed, some of the shock has gone from the blind item as the following is almost common knowledge at this point. I'm told the LA Times actually has been holding back on the story for whatever reasons known only to them.
November 9, 2007
#1 What Presidential candidate is sleeping with an aide?
Hillary Clinton / Huma Abedin(who is stunning by the way)
November 28, 2007
I had been saving this one to combine it with a jackass, but I just feel like I need a kindness today. Writing this kindness is hard for me, because of my overall negative feelings for the person involved, which should give you a big clue. She is a B list actress, hit television show, and been in some really bad movies. And no, it isn't Denise Richards. You can be sure I will never write a kindness about her, even if she saves the life of a school bus full of nuns. Anyway, this actress is a publicity hungry piranha, except when it comes to one thing. For the past few years, this actress quietly sneaks off to some after school programs to help disadvantage children with their schoolwork, to mentor them, and just to make them laugh and smile. She has a circle of schools and programs she attends, and makes an effort to go to at least one a week, and if she skips a week, makes it up with two visits the following week.
She does this because she feels it is important, and not for any publicity or attention. The kids love when she goes. They all loved her before she got famous and love her the same now. Since here recent success, she has donated money to many of these programs and to scholarships to enable these children to continue on to college. Because it is the holiday season, I have decided to give the evil one her due, and to applaud her for her selflessness this one time.
Eva Longoria
May 16, 2007
This older, but not aging, film, but not indies, and definitely no television, married A list actor who has been featured in this space before has a wife who really knows how to get revenge. He's been in this space because of his cheating. Excessive cheating. Enough cheating where the wife is tired of it even if it does mean giving up millions. Our actor made a little boo-boo recently. Seems as if the missus got a hold of our actor's cell phone bill. So, she decided to call EVERY number on the bill and advised the person who answered that she was calling from the Dept. of Health. She advised them that our actor had contracted a sexually transmitted disease and had provided their number, but not their name as someone with whom he had sexual contact. She advised EVERY person she called that they needed to make an appointment with their doctor as soon as possible to check for possible infection. The actor got many freaked out people calling him that day, but still doesn't know it was his wife who did the calling.
Sean Penn / Robin Wright Penn
NOTE: As far as I know Sean Penn has NO STD's. It was done by RWP simply for revenge.
May 15, 2007
So a little help with yesterday's item may be in order. How about recently filmed, but not out yet. How about our A list actor was not alone. How about he was joined by another brooding A list actor who happens to be married. No word on whether the married actor partook of the drugs but certainly did partake in the strip club fun.
Married Actor - Sean Penn
The tennis ball is missing. Maybe it was cold or something. Shrinkage can be a bitch.
I've never heard of the superlative conspiracy that Adrian Grenier is highlighting. I'm sure it sounded good at some point to him.
As much as she looks like a member of The Clash here, her hair doesn't really look that horrible. I know everyone who reads this blog just loves her t-shirt.
Bono packed on about fifty pounds over the holidays. What is the deal with those shoes? They are Tom Cruise specials.
I love Chloe Dao but she just shows up at the oddest places. A SlimFast style event.
I know there must be some guys in the world who find Chyna attractive, but I have yet to even hear about it even second hand. How has she stayed famous so long?
Well at least we know that if the paycheck is large enough, Kim Cattrall will do just about anything.
Model v Actress? Who you got?
Marc Anthony to Jennifer Lopez before this shoot. "You better make damn well sure that the wedding ring is right there on the cover."
I'm a big fan of Jennie Garth, but she just looks like a mess.
On the other hand it has been awhile since I had anything good to say about Eva Mendes, but she looks absolutely stunning.
The new Survivor cast. Ten fan favorites against 10 new contestants. I didn't think it was possible to make a living solely off reality shows, but some of these contestants prove it is possible.
X-Factor runner up Rhydian Roberts doing his best James Bond coming out of the sea impression.
I love Luenell. Going to have to watch Borat tonight now.
Lucy Liu definitely has a certain look. I just don't know if I like it. As a guy, the gloves would make me feel a touch scared that she was going to beat the crap out of me if I did something wrong.
Kim Kardashian ate one or two too many holiday cookies. Either that or she trapped Reggie Bush. You decide.
WD felt bad that she didn't have much to report this week, but I told her that all of you understand that every week can't be exciting, and that sometimes even in LA, life can be slow or blah or both.
And the phone still isn't ringing...
Happy New Year!
Hope your holidays were great. I spent some time in the midwest and had just enough
time in the cold for it to be novel.
Back in LA. Nice and warm. Lots of rain. The town is dead. They just started picketing again this week. It's been great catching up with dear friends at the In N Out.
BUT
It's been over a month since my meeting with my agent. Since that meeting I have worked the Ashlee Simpson Video, did MoCap for a major video game, booked a great supporting role in a fairly big movie, and I did it all myself. Of course even though I did it all myself I still have to give 10% to my agent even though my agent still hasn't called. Remarkable isn't it?
I've been home a week. I'm setting up meeting with managers and commercial agents.
Commercials are slowed down but still being made. I'm doing a play. It's a role that was written for me. And I love it. I'm writing and filming that webisode. Creatively there's no shortage. So while I am THRILLED with the new year. I have dubious feelings about my next paycheck.
Scary. It's time for a visit to the agents. I wish I could bring some thugs with me to "remind" them of how much they love getting me work.
But I can't do that...any thoughts?
I know the headline isn't really much news to anyone who has ever read any gossip blog or magazine or even seen Jessica speak or "act" or breathe. But this one is a special case. Jessica Simpson has decided to stay away from the Dallas Cowboys playoff game because she fears she will jinx her "boyfriend" Tony Romo and that everyone who doesn't already hate her in Texas will do so if the Cowboys lose. Jessica was in the stands last month cheering on Tony to his worst performance ever in football dating back to his elementary school years. Fans and teammates blamed Jessica.
So, instead of just saying that, she comes up with this little number released by her publicist. Her spokesperson Cindy Berger tells the New York Post, "She is not attending. She is working on a new album. She will be watching from home and cheering him (Romo) on." So she wants the world to know that even on a weekend afternoon she will be hard at work plugging away at that album and she can't even spare any extra minutes because of her tight schedule. Whatever. I don't really care. Besides she already spent a week jinxing Romo on their vacation in Mexico and so going to the game would have been just like finding one last spot where there wasn't a needle and shoving it in hard.
I kind of like Ashlee Simpson so I wish she would disown herself so I could make the blanket statement of how much I just hate the Simpson family. Unless Pimpa gets arrested or something equally as fun, I'm done with them. As I was typing this I realized just how much I dislike them.
Muhammad Ali
Jack Kerouac
Johnny Depp
Beck
Bjorn Borg
Yves Saint- Laurent
Tom Brady
Richard Avedon
Paul Newman
Malcolm X
One of my favorite reality shows is coming back to ABC this summer. Yes. They are bringing The Mole back. Unfortunately it isn't going to be Celebrity Mole which I loved even more, but beggars can't be choosers.
The show's first two seasons - hosted by Anderson Cooper - were a big draw for the network in 2001 and 2002, but midseason "celebrity" editions in the two years that followed failed to draw similarly high numbers. They might not have drawn as well, but until you see the paranoia that is Corbin Bernsen you haven't seen television. Plus, I may be wrong as I frequently am, but I believe that the money Kathy Griffin won on the show actually helped pay for a great deal of her A list home. See, the thing about Celebrity Mole was the money didn't go to charity, it went to the celebrity. Nothing like putting a quarter of a million bucks out in front of some unemployed D listers.
Anderson Cooper became a star because of The Mole and Ahmad Rashad fell further into obscurity.
This is a show we honestly love and people ask us about all the time," said John Saade, svp of reality at ABC. "We were looking to bring the show back even when the writers were working."
The only reason I don't think he is completely lying is that they are bringing it back for the summer which is typically when there is no new scripted television anyway, and where some great reality shows got their start.
The new season of ten episodes will revert to the original format, without celebs, but with some "minor tweaks" to make the show more accessible to viewers. The hunt is also on for a new host, with Cooper now locked in as an anchor for CNN and Ahmad Rashad, host of the celebrity editions, not being asked back.
"We're looking for someone in the Anderson mode, a little mysterious but full of comedy," said executive producer Scott Stone. "It could be a breakout role for someone."
Going have to change my queue on Netflix and get some Celebrity Mole for this weekend.
Haven't been this excited since it was confirmed Paris Hilton had herpes.
At one point in her career Britney Spears was offered $5M by Playboy for a nude pictorial. At the time Britney was still professing the whole virginity thing and said something along the lines that she would never do nudity for any price. Then she blathered on about how the naked body was sacred and her fans and blah blah blah. Fast forward a few years and the only takers on a slew of naked Britney photos is an Australian magazine. They paid $57,000. What that means is that everyone in the US, and the UK passed on the pics. Passed. Didn't want them. Not worth it. Wouldn't sell.
Her sister Jamie's pregnancy photos went for six figures. So people were willing to pay almost twice as much for fully clothed, can't see a damn thing pictures of her 16 year old sister, than photos of a naked Britney Spears doing her crazy thing.
Of course out of that $57,000 Britney will see about $0 which means she turned a potential $5M into $0. With that kind of skill, and not much new money coming in, pretty soon she and Jamie Lynn will be sharing a double-wide and switching shifts at the local Denny's, where, with her toothless smile and drooping breasts she can regale her customers with the stories of how Playboy once wanted her, and how she had so much money that she could afford to pass up $5M.
Which distinctively named member of a chart-topping pop group swings both ways? He surprised his male talent escort at a recent Hollywood red-carpet event with an invitation back to his hotel room.
Tomorrow will be a mini-blind item reveal day. I think there will be at least three, and maybe a couple more. The couple more is a maybe. I am trying to run through a bunch in my head and I think there are more than three to be revealed.
#1 What talk show hostess made it perfectly clear to several producers that she would be willing to do anything, and I mean anything to be considered for a starring role in a film.
#2 Don't believe the protestations of this married A+ list male film actor when he says that his crabs were the result of a stay at a hotel in Europe. The more likely cause is the hooker he brought into his hotel room.
I honestly don't remember the last thing Don Cheadle was in that I just didn't absolutely love. The guy makes great choices and is one of my favorite actors. In case you were curious the woman with him is Brigid Coulter.
If I were Chris O'Donnell I would be smiling even bigger than that. He has like what? Seven or eight kids now and he managed to get out of the house alone. Wonder what he had to buy his wife.
Pot in the limo doo dah doo dah.
I'm guessing the pot made Brad Pitt horny.
Speaking of pot. Again, this one of those combinations I love. Amanda Bynes and Snoop Dogg and Snoop's patient wife. Not just patient, but saint like wife Shante Taylor. Elijah Kelley kind of ruins the moment but I guess he wanted to be tough or something in front of Snoop.
"Wear your seatbelts."
Hal Holbrook and Dixie Carter. I really didn't like it when Hal was on Designing Women. The character just seemed forced and wasn't necessary. I understand why he was on there, just didn't think it was necessary. They both look great although Dixie might want to lose the Jay Leno mohawk thing.
Whenever I see Emily Deschanel's eyes up close like this, they always freak me the hell out. When you have the fake eyelashes with them, I just start hearing that X-Files music in my head over and over.
Another couple that really doesn't get much love for length of time together is Edward Burns and Christy Turlington. I don't even hear that much gossip about them. I said not much. There is just a little here and there which I think makes them kind of fun.
Diane Warren. Enough Said.
The first photos of Jamie Lynn Spears. It took 4 days from taking them to selling them so you know they went for a bunch.
Johnny Depp in Japan.
Javier Bardem in his Armour All suit.
Ellen Page looks incredible and Juno just keeps doing amazing at the box office.
Even Steve Zahn looks great. Lots of my favorite actors in this lineup today.
Melora Hardin. Like I would say something bad about someone from The Office. I value the parts of my body that still function. I skipped the photo of Katherine Heigl at the premiere of her film, because honestly she just looked like someone from Sound Of Music, and she has been around too much anyway.
If Lily Allen wasn't pregnant I would swear she was suffering from a hangover.
Jennifer Love Hewitt displays the only reason she is famous.
Golf Channel anchor Kelly Tilghman has apologized after saying during Friday's telecast of the PGA Tour's opening event that today's young players should "lynch Tiger Woods in a back alley."
A spokesman for the network said Tilghman apologized on Sunday's telecast and has reached out to Woods' representatives to express her regrets for the comments, according to New York Newsday.
Tilghman, who played college golf at Duke, works as the main play-by-play announcer during The Golf Channel's PGA Tour telecasts.
I don't usually get involved in these kinds of issues or discussions, and totally left what happened to Imus to others, but this just seems on its face to be horrendous. I didn't see or hear the comments, but obviously they must have been inflammatory enough to issue the apology and to make everyone try and reach out to Tiger Woods.
I have a real problem if Tilghman is allowed to keep her job. It is not professional and is not the kind of person who should be doing a national broadcast. What opponents might say is that she was talking and and that it just came out, and that she didn't mean it. I call BS. If you are even thinking about someone being black and also thinking of lynching at the same time, you have a real problem with race. She would never have said the same thing about a white golfer.
I have no doubts that Tilghman is sorry, but is she sorry because she hurt people or is she sorry because she knows she will probably never get to work as an announcer again.
Katie Holmes was at the Critics Choice Awards last night. What was missing was her little troll by her side, and also a pass through the red carpet. Most of the press on the red carpet would have been safe, but then there would have been some ass like myself who would have asked something along the lines of did they keep L. Ron Hubbard's sperm in a special vault, or could anyone off the street have a chance at his sperm?
Of course Kneepads Magazine would probably have asked something like," How hard is it to manage your household and get ready for a big even like tonight?" Katie would have gushed about Tom and how he took care of Suri while she ran around the house like crazy looking for just the perfect dress to wear for the evening and that Tom was a joy and a pleasure and kept telling her how beautiful she looked. Hell for all we know she might have even thrown in the fact that Tom hand made the dress during his evening down time and that he even took his advanced chemistry degree and formulated the perfume she was wearing.
What would have been really cool though and would have diffused all the drama about the book and even made Morton look like an ass would have been to wear a name tag or something that said "Hello, I'm Rosemary" Now that would have been classic and shown the world that Tom didn't care about the book because it was ridiculous. Instead though he sends out the entire gang of followers to denounce the book and threaten lawsuits and blah blah blah. Lighten up Tommy. Unless you are caught doing something with kids, or hurting women, no one in the world cares what you do or who you do. The only thing they care about is if the movie is any good. Unfortunately you haven't been doing that lately.
That didn't take long did it? Let's face it. Just because you win American Idol doesn't mean you are going to be the best selling contestant. I think everyone who watched the show two years ago knew that Taylor Hicks' music did not translate well to mainstream success. Recognizing that, America voted for him anyway and so Taylor won the record contract. His first album sold about 700,000 copies and so he suffered the fate of being the first Idol winner not to cross the 1M mark. He also had no hit singles off the album.
"Taylor is going to record on his own for the next album," said J Records publicist Liz Morentin, who did not give further details regarding Hicks.
What that means is that Taylor was probably adamant about recording songs he wanted to record and shunned any attempts at writing him songs that would sell. His new album will probably be sold on the internet only and sell about 100,000 copies if that. Taylor would be perfect for Vegas and if I was his manager, I would convince Taylor to sign some type of contract with a hotel in Vegas while he has some name recognition, otherwise it is going to be the celebrity Karaoke judging route for Taylor.
Which rich celeb keeps demanding free jewelery from a posh outlet? The clotheshorse was fuming when she was only offered a small discount...
Over the next few days I will try and get through the Top 50 most stylish men of the past 50 years as determined by GQ. They are in no particular order, so I am just going by the order in which they were posted.
David Bowie
David Bailey
Bryan Ferry
Bob Dylan
Basquiat
Steve McQueen
Marcello Mastroianni
George Clooney
George Best
Elvis Presley
I was all set to blast Kate Moss for taking her five year old daughter clubbing on NYE, but then I thought about it for a minute, and decided it wasn't as bad as exposing her to Pete Doherty for almost her entire life or probably using drugs in front of her or screwing a bunch of different guys all called Uncle.
Kate and her boyfriend Jamie Hince were in Phuket with Kate's daughter for the holidays. On NYE, Kate couldn't find anyone to babysit her daughter so she decided to take her daughter with her to the resort's party. "Kate was dancing around with Lila, and they were sipping champagne until well past midnight. "But Kate was definitely being a mom. She was with her daughter the whole time."
Is this really any different than you having people over to your home and having champagne with them? Yes, normally your five year old would be asleep well before midnight, but is one night going to harm the child for life? What would you do if you were in a resort in Thailand on one of the busiest nights of the year for babysitters and you couldn't get one?
Would you just stay in your hotel room all night with your boyfriend and daughter, or would you take your daughter to the club with you. I actually think that with what little time Kate spends with her daughter, spending the evening with her daughter on NYE like that was probably the most maternal thing she did in the last 12 months. That, and probably kicking Pete to the curb. You just have to know that if Pete was giving crack to cats and other animals, that the thought crossed his mind about Kate's daughter and giving her some crack. It had to.
When Jessica Seinfeld's book came out, I definitely did not take her side in the battle of the cookbook and thought and still think she is an idiot, and that she was definitely influenced by the other cookbook. However much she was influenced though, I think she will probably win this lawsuit that was filed against her for copyright and trademark infringement.
I am always skeptical of any lawsuit that is accompanied by a press release. In this case, Missy Chase Lapine's attorneys had a PR company prepare a press release announcing the lawsuit and why it was filed. It was totally unnecessary and instead just makes the law firm look like a bunch of blowhards. Yes, you want attention and publicity if you are a law firm, but you are suing Jerry Seinfeld and his wife and everyone is familiar with the two books. You will get attention without having your lawsuit filed with a PR blast to media outlets.
The first thing we need to get out of the way is that they are just suing Jerry Seinfeld to say they are suing him and to make more noise. There is no way that Lapine will win for the comments Jerry made on Letterman. Here are the comments from the show.
They are just an opinion. Yes, he probably knew that the books were not published at the same time, but the rest is all opinion. Just like I called his wife an idiot, he can call Lapine a whacko. Now, instead of calling her a whacko, Jerry had said, Lapine had spent some time in mental hospitals, THEN she would have a case.
Plagiarism is a tough thing to prove. The closest anyone has got in awhile was the guy who sued Dan Brown. Lapine's lawyers list a number of examples where the books are identical or close to identical. To me they are mostly meaningless. The only ones I hold any stock in are the list of the food and the purees that go with them. That is the section that will either win or lose the case for Ms. Lapine.
I have linked over to The Smoking Gun beginning on the page of similarities that Lapine alleges. Take a look and decide for yourself. That is what a jury will do. There are about five pages to look through.
If you are married and having a threesome, you might just take one word of advice. Don't do it anywhere that your wife might come home and catch you. Unfortunately for Sean Penn he was thinking with something other than his brain and was caught while staying at a resort WITH his wife Robin Wright Penn. That takes some serious self-destructive tendencies.
"Yeah honey, I'm going to go down and work out a little, maybe do some shopping. I'll come back to the room when I am done."
What this means of course is that his two women of choice had probably already come up to the resort and that he kept them on retainer for when he needed them. I guess Robin was growing suspicious about all health clubs smelling like skank sex.
The actors were reportedly staying at the Squaw Valley resort in Lake Tahoe, California, days before Christmas when the incident is said to have occurred, according to MSNBC.com. A source tells the publication, "Sean didn't spend much time with his wife - he booked her a separate suite - and when Robin got fed up with being alone, she went over to his suite. (There, she) found him drunk with two Russian girls."
Penn married Wright in 1996 and they have two children together, Dylan Frances, 16, and Hopper Jack, 14. Wright filed divorce papers on December 21 citing irreconcilable differences as a reason for the split. The couple are said to be seeking joint custody of their teenage kids. It is the second divorce for Penn - he ended his marriage to pop star Madonna in 1989 after four years.
If I had suggested to any of my ex-wives that we get a separate suite while on vacation they would have jumped for joy, but for most people, the idea of a vacation is to spend time together. This is more so when the couple often works apart and does not see each other for long periods of time. How much do you want to bet that when Robin walked in, Sean said something like, "It's not what you think baby."
"Sure, they're naked and I'm naked, but it was just a massage that went a little astray. Nothing happened." Of course the condom laying on the floor might have given it away.
"What that condom. No, I was showing them how they could be blown up like a water balloon."
Now I just need to go through my blind items. I know he is at least in three of them.
Which breakout young male star uses - gasp - fake eyelashes to get his trademark gaze? Dammit, Hollywood, stop toying with us!
Oscar-winning Australian actress Nicole Kidman and country singer Keith Urban have confirmed they are expecting their first baby.
"Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban confirmed today that they are expecting a baby," Kidman's publicist Wendy Day said in a statement.
"The couple are thrilled."
I just wonder how they managed to do it. I just don't see it at all. When you touch Nicole it has to be like touching ice. I mean her own kids don't even call her mom. Wouldn't it be sweet if the baby looked just like Suri.
Thanks Lydia.
I don't want to mention names, but sorry if the comments section has been frustrating for you over the past few days. I got all your e-mails about the situation and will try to respond to each and every one of you at some point today. I think I have worked out a solution without having to take the drastic step of moderating comments. Anyway as a little thank you for all of your patience and understanding, here is a juicy one, or two.
#1 This stud male tennis player who has been linked with several female celebrities in some very high profile relationships over the past few years was spotted opening his hotel room door in the nude to this male reality star who does his very best to make sure that everyone thinks he is Mr. Heterosexual.
#2 This celebutante is seriously considering a contract where she would marry or at the very least get engaged to this famous daddy celebudude. (Not Kevin Federline)
It was a choice between Amy Adams and Amy Winehouse for the top spot. I actually don't think Ms. Winehouse would know if she was at the top or bottom or just caught in the middle. Anyway, Amy Adams looks heavenly as usual.
Back from her "vacation" and back in London, Amy perfects the street walker look. Seriously, if you were walking or driving down a street and you saw someone in this outfit in London at night in January and looking this strung out and you didn't know she was a famous singer, you know that you would think she was turning tricks.
I don't get many requests for Javier Bardem, but there are some. This is for you.
How many of you knew this group is called House of the Holy Afro? Seriously, and they were performing in Sydney over the weekend.
Forget about the kid or whether Gavin is off with a tranny. Look at those heels on Gwen Stefani. They are almost up to the kid's knees. Not exactly going to the park kind of shoes.
Two people open up the limo door, reach in, lift Ellen Barkin out, and then place her here for photos. They try to rotate her every couple of minutes so the pigeons don't get too familiar with her. After the photos they load her back up in the car, slap a fed ex sticker on her head and she is off to the next city. During the whole process she neither blinks nor speaks , and is reduced to a few grunts which sound like the words more botox please.
Daniel Day Lewis' nose really does take a hard right turn about halfway down doesn't it?
I am just glad someone gave Niki Taylor a job. If I saw one more whiny article where she complains about the world and her life and on and on and on. Yes, you have had a tough life, but it was pretty damn good for awhile. Better than most people ever have it, so just stop whining. Sorry you don't have as much money as you used to and that your husband isn't a billionaire, but just get over yourself. By the way I heard your new show really sucks. Actually I didn't hear that, I just dislike Niki Taylor immensely.
Not as much as I dislike Michael Lohan though. At least he and Lindsay split the money 50/50 for allowing the photo.
When I need some cheering up, Mia Kirshner is the person to call. She doesn't look it, but seriously, she is funny as hell, and has an obsession with the game duck duck goose.
I don't really have anything to say about Maggie Gyllenhaal or Peter Saarsgard except that we haven't seen them around in awhile.
Jennifer Beals. An amazing person and unlike Niki Taylor, didn't bitch every five seconds if someone wouldn't give her a job or cry when they heard her story. Instead Jennifer worked her ass off and finally has made her way back to the top.
This is a photo of the MySpace page of Carmen Kontur-Gronquist. Not really that much different from many MySpace pages. Of course those particular pages are always of women complaining to me that they can't show their naked pictures on MySpace and so want me to join a site that costs $49.99 a day. After the first few hundred bucks I caught on.
The only difference between the porn ads and this photo is that Carmen is actually the Honorable Carmen Kontur-Gronquist who is the mayor of Arlington, Oregon. These photos which were taken before she became Mayor have become quite the sensation around town. Not just because their mayor is showing off her taste in lingerie to the world, but for the fact that the photo was taken in a fire station on a fire truck and no one is quite sure how and why she took the photos. Her MySpace is now private, but up until just a few days ago, anyone could see that Ms. Gronquist is one politician who is not really hiding a whole bunch.
In what could be considered some really bad timing, the City Council has it's annual meeting this Wednesday night and the first topic of discussion is sure to be these photos. For her part, the Mayor said she did nothing wrong and those who are offended need to get over it. "That's my personal life," she said. "It has nothing to do with my mayor's position." Kontur-Gronquist, who is also the fire department's executive secretary, said the photos were taken before she was elected mayor three years ago, and she saw no reason to remove them from the Internet after taking office. "I'm not going to change who I am," she said. "There's a lot of officials that have a personal life, and you have people in this community who have nothing better to do than scrape up stuff like this."
Actually the town is so small they probably don't have anything better to do than stare at their Mayor and wonder what being an executive secretary for a fire department really entails.
Not a day goes by where I don't get about 10 e-mails from publicists and PR people asking me to plug something and in return usually offering up their first born or a t-shirt. 99% of the time I just blow through them and delete without replying.
Whether it be a new candy bar, or a new generic version of Valtrex, someone is always plugging something. About six months ago I started getting e-mails from a public relations firm and this very persistent woman named Jessie. It was just her unfortunate luck that each and everyday, often two to three times a day she would send me something on her #1 client. James Blunt. Uh huh. So, as you can probably guess, she wasn't going to get much love from me when it comes to JB or BJ which I believe is the European way of initializing his name. You know, kind of like the month and day thing.
Instead of just ignoring these e-mails, I would instead respond by offering to post his music for a lock of his hair, or if he would say on tape that he wrote You're Beautiful about me. Basically I made Jessie's life miserable. I'm not exactly sure why she didn't just stop writing. Probably because it would have been harder to take me out of the group e-mail thing than just ignoring what I wrote back each time she threw out the name James Blunt.
Finally after I told Jessie for the 183rd time that the only James Blunt post on the site was going to be a negative James Blunt post, she finally offered up a new group. 31 more no's and I finally broke down. In full disclosure, I want all of you to know that it has nothing to do with the fact that Michelle Branch has offered to make out with me for 15 seconds if I do plug her group.
It was a nice kicker of course, but I think persistence should be rewarded. Unless of course you are herpes.
This is supposed to be a plug so let me plug away here.
The Wreckers ' first LIVE CD/DVD, Way Back Home: Live From New York, hit stores last Dec. 4, 2007. The CD/DVD, which was recorded during a sold-out show at the Bowery Ballroom in New York City on July 13, 2007, is a rare glimpse into the music and friendship behind The Wreckers. The project features their #1 Country single, "Leave The Pieces," along with the title track, "Way Back Home."
"I am so excited to offer this live CD/DVD to our fans," said Michelle Branch. "The Fans continually come out to support us and this is our way of giving back to them. We also give the fans who are unable to come out to our shows, an amazing opportunity at they have the best seat in the house with this DVD."
I actually am a big fan of Michelle Branch and so knew I would eventually say yes to Jessie. I think all of you will like it also. Check out the YouTube video below if you would like a listen.
Should you have a strong desire to make out with James Blunt, have him hit on you, or just want to listen to him sing one song over and over for 90 minutes, he is currently on tour.
Which pop princess has been getting up close and personal with her female backing dancers?
The singer is causing a stir backstage with her naughty encounters...
The only good thing I can say about Dr. Phil is that he hasn't opened a school for young girls. Actually I think he was instrumental in bringing David Letterman and Oprah back together, so I will also give him that. Other than that, I can't stand the guy.
because he is such a publicity seeking ass, Dr. Phil's big coup in getting the entire Spears family on one show has totally disintegrated. Instead of admitting that the family wanted nothing to do with him, this is the statement he released. "As was widely reported this weekend, at the request of concerned family members, I visited Britney Spears in the hospital. The details of that visit will, of course, remain private. We had planned to tape a Dr. Phil Now show today, focusing not on the tabloid side of Britney's latest problems, but instead on the very serious issues surrounding this case."
The statement goes on, "Clearly, it is not just Britney's family struggling to find a way to protect adult children who cannot be ordered or compelled to seek help. Because the Spears situation is too intense at this time, and out of consideration to the family, I have made the decision not to move forward with the taping at this particular time. Britney and her family are in our prayers, and we ask that they be in yours."
What a crock of s**t. What happened is that Dr. Phil and Lynne had a deal where she would provide Britney and maybe even Jamie Lynn and in return Dr. Phil would write a forward for her book, and let her come on and plug the hell out of it when it came out.
Instead, Britney bailed on the doctor to go shacking up with her photographer friend who is no doubt filming every second of their time together to make a quick million or two. If you don't think that guy isn't hiding a miniature camera, then you are just way too trusting, and I want to talk to you for a few minutes about the wonders of grape Kool-Aid.
With Britney gone that still left dad, mom and Jamie Lynn who would be the big surprise and ratings booster. Ummm. Dad didn't want any part of it and told Jamie she wasn't going to be a part of it either.
That left just mommy, and there is no way Dr. Phil was going to waste and hour of time with her. Can you imagine her rattling on for an hour and Dr. Phil trying to convince the world what a great mom she is. So, in essence the show went from intervention for Britney to gawking at Jamie Lynn to Lynne asking if she could still get the complimentary basket of fruit put in every dressing room.
Ahhh. Bryan Adams. I think he was the first jackass ever on the site so he definitely holds a special place in my heart. I really thought he had changed his ways. His photographs are amazing and he was kind enough to let Amy Winehouse use his place in Mustique for the discount price of just $50,000 for the week. But, alas, once a jackass, always a jackass.
Bryan Adams decided that Elle Macpherson wasn't enough woman for him and so stepped out on her and started secretly dating Caterina Murino who was the Bond girl in Casino Royale. Of course Bryan kept seeing Elle at the same time that he was dating Caterina because you never know if something is going to work out. Have to have that safety net you can go back to if the young woman decides she really doesn't want to go out with the 50 year old rock star. No, he's not 50, but she probably thinks he's 50 because he looks so damn old.
Anyway, Bryan didn't get to keep his safety net for long as he was spotted out with Caterina. Elle confronted him, and when he admitted that he went out with Caterina, Elle dumped him, and called him a jackass. Of course all of you already knew that.
I couldn't decide whether I wanted to write about American Gladiator sex or Rumer Willis wearing a dress and no one there to see it. I finally decided that each story was basically crap and that no one cares and so said to myself that if you make it into one big post, then maybe it will make it less crappy. Unfortunately I don't think it worked. Nope. Still crap.
Rumer Willis won't be performing just in front of mom, dad, Ashton and the foreign press anymore. Now Rumer can show off all her fugliness to the all the invitees to the Golden Globes. NBC has decided not to air the show, and therefore it can go on. No one will see it except for those people at the show, and of course for everyone who has YouTube because there is going to be some stuff going down this year which you know will make for a cell phone filming frenzy. I assume NBC will pack the four hours normally set aside for the show with four hours of American Gladiators instead. I don't really care about the new show but I used to watch the old version. A bunch of those old performers are now saying the set was awash in drugs and sex and that at least one of the performers had to go to rehab to get off the drugs he was provided when he was a performer on the show.
Apparently all the sex that was going on at the time didn't actually include much heterosexual sex. It seems that most of those favorite American Gladiator ladies that all the guys drooled over were actually lesbians and would enjoy showing off this fact to the male performers by engaging in a little one on one time and allowing the guys to watch. Of course the guys were probably so whacked out on all the Vicodin and Percocet they were provided that the women could have just been reading recipes, and the guys would have been happy.
Charges against Amy Winehouse were dropped this week for perverting the course of justice. I have to tell you that I love that charge. Anytime you can throw in the word pervert and not have it relate to time spent looking at porn, I think that is a pretty cool thing. All of the crimes in the UK have much cooler names than here in the US. Kind of makes everything seem more serious than it really is.
Anyway, as you know Amy was released on bail last month after turning herself in for questioning on how it was her husband had enough money to bribe people in his upcoming trial.
Her husband is currently spending some quality time behind bars for the crime that Amy was also charged with. BFC as I like to call him because I hate typing out his name and think it makes no sense is alleged to have assaulted a bartender last year and has been charged with trying to bribe the bartender with $400,000, a free vacation and a hooker a week for life in return for withdrawing his statement.
This dropping of charges against Amy should allow her to perform at the Grammy Awards next month in LA. Just to let you know, I do intend to stalk her and hang out with paps the entire time she's here. I want to see the inevitable meeting between Amy and Britney and just see how they interact. Meanwhile, while Amy was enjoying her Caribbean vacation and sex with her ex boyfriend, her husband has been placed in solitary confinement after prison guards found him getting drunk behind bars and making calls on a cell phone he had smuggled into the jail, reports British newspaper the News of the World. I wonder how much Pete Doherty charges for that service or if BFC just took other lessons from Pete which is how he keeps getting the booze and drugs and other stuff. And when I say other lessons, I mean the lessons that Pete learned as a rent boy.
Which highbrow talk show host telephoned a female massage therapist from the Pierre hotel last week and requested she perform intimate acts with his lady-friend, while he watched? Sadly, the answer was No.
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