Miley Does It Again

I thought the sleepover pictures were just photos that someone took of Miley Cyrus and her girlfriend and then leaked out. Now, I'm not so sure. Maybe this is all a big plot within the family. I'm not a big Billy Ray Cyrus fan, but maybe he has a little more of the Pimpa Joe inside him than I originally thought. You know he had just one hit and now he is living his dream through his daughter. It is kind of like a dad who makes his son a star athlete to achieve the things he didn't achieve on his own. It kind of sucks to be a one hit wonder and so maybe now he is making sure Miley is never out of the public eye for long. The problem is she is immensely popular even without this crap. It's obvious she took the photo herself so someone either got into her camera or someone very close to her is releasing it. Why would they do it? I don't know, but do know if she keeps going like she's going, she is just three years away from a Playboy pictorial. This just seems like someone close to her wants to exploit or remake her from a Disney princess into a Hustler hag.

**Update** The photos below were obviously done at a different time and place. I agree you see you much worse on MySpace but they also are not trying to protect a multi-million dollar image. I can't imagine Disney wants another one of their stars involved in anything less than 100% wholesome. I don't think these are less than wholesome, I just wonder what people are trying to accomplish by releasing them, and who is releasing them. To see the topless photos, click here. To see her showing off her bra and ugly boyfriend, click here. To see her at her sexiest, click here. To see her sleepover photos, click here.

Full Frontal Friday - With Video

I don't know why I ever started this because this has definitely taken on a life of its own. This week it is all celebrities, although one is a reality star, but hey, it's free. Yes, Javier Bardem is included and there is even a video for you to watch. I stopped watching after about 20 seconds so I really can't tell you how it ends. I have a pretty good idea though.

All of this is NSFW and if you are under 18, there is better porn on the internet for you to watch than this so go find it. The website for the video is often blocked from workplaces or your local Starbucks. If you like looking at porn at your local Starbucks, you probably are going to have a much more exciting weekend than me. Just remember to be Wrapped With Love.

Click here to start your journey. If you want to share in the comments how your journey ended, I'm sure Les Suckno would love to hear about it.

Four For Friday

For some reason known only to them, this site is very popular in India. So, as part of the Four For Friday I am going to go ahead and post one of maybe two blind items I know about Indian stars.

#1 One of our India's biggest actors _____________, had an affair going on with one of India's most famous beauty queens turned actress ________________ However, after some time, the actor convinced his son to marry the actress - which he did, and the father now tags along to almost all the events with the son and mistress/daughter-in-law with the son looking like the third wheel. Our actor's wife, was an actress in her own right back in the day and acts as if she knows nothing. To make this even more interesting there are other rumors that the son has something on the side going on with another actor, who is the son of the chief minister of one of the Indian states.

Got it? Yeah, but in India it's gold baby.

#2 Here is another one from the perverted dad's file. Our father who is just a regular guy has a daughter who is a B list television actress/"singer" who plays much younger than she really is. In the back of the house is a hot tub. Our actress has been known to have her girlfriends over and whenever they use the hot tub, within five minutes dad comes out in his bathing suit and gets in with them. Somewhere along the way, he adjusts his suit so that when he stands up to get out, the girls in the tub get an up close and personal look at Mr. Winky who is standing at attention and waving hello. This is not a one time event.

#3 Mom's aren't perfect either. Do you recall our actress who drinks the bottle of vodka a day and has it delivered by the same guy everyday. Well that guy is now renting out the guest house. At least that is what she tells her friends and the father of her child(ren). In actuality he spends every night with our actress in her room. Hopefully he is getting some very big tips or is half blind because no one would want to wake up next to her in the mornings.

#4 This B+ list award winning film actress has been sleeping with her agent. It was slimy enough that he kept taking his 10% of her earnings, but now he wants to just manage her, and all for the low discount rate of 15%. In order to make as much money off of her as quickly as possible he has convinced her to sign up for roles that are totally opposite anything she has ever done before, just so she can get a bigger paycheck, and him. I wonder if she knows about the other actress he sees when our B lister is out of town.

Random Photos Part One

Usually someone would have to pay as much as $2 or $3 to have their hair look this good. Somehow Amy Winehouse has done it for less.
Are the dogs on Brandy's feet still alive? It has to hurt them.
So do you think that Heather Locklear is grateful she wasn't the one knocked up by David Spade? How would you like to be hearing about that 40 years from now? The poor kid in school is going to get it worse than Britney's kids.
Gwyneth Paltrow makes an appearance. Someone whispered near her and it blew her down on the ground.
Not having those weight problems is Eminem who obviously just can't stop with one.
Donny Osmond was at the Hannah Montana movie premiere. I guess he wanted to remember how it felt to be famous.
Grumpiest Old Men
Simon Rex was the guest on last week's FFF. Who will make an appearance this week?
This photo and its possibilities just scare me. In case you can't tell your Olsen twins apart that is Mary Kate Olsen.
Miley Cyrus in her monthly appearance on the blog. She was on Ryan Seacrest's show yesterday and I didn't ever think I would hear anything more painful. Then he had Britney on.
Lisa Rinna giving you reason #432 not to use Botox.
From the top of the photos to the bottom in one day. Even for Lindsay Lohan that is remarkable. What is even more remarkable is that someone was actually selling what she is wearing.

The Reviews Are In

Somewhere between Pieces Of April and now, Katie Holmes has gone from a promising actress who was pretty damn good to one of the worst actresses ever. I don't know if Tom Cruise makes her take acting classes at home, or if she has no confidence or if it is the meds or the prison or what, but this is really getting into Jessica Simpson territory. Here are a sample of the reviews for her in Mad Money. In full disclosure, most critics didn't really like the move but they thought Queen Latifah and Diane Keaton did a good job with what they were given. Not so Katie Holmes. Enjoy.

"And the cinematic comeback of the year award goes to…somebody other than Katie Holmes,” NY Post. The Post went on to say this about Katie's return. “the most cringe-making return since Love Boat: The Next Wave.“Holmes, with Alice Cooper hair and crazy Jim Carrey eyes, looks terrible and acts worse, unless this movie is unintentionally a lobotomy documentary,” the reviewer writes. “Whatever could have happened to her in the last couple of years to zap the talent out of her like this?”

The New York Times says Holmes is “the movie’s weakest link.”

Variety adds that throughout the film “Holmes is awkwardly upsetting the balance” between Latifah and Keaton.

Wall Street Journal-“Their heist is only the pretext for jinks that range from medium high (as played out by Queen Latifah and Diane Keaton) to painfully low (as perpetrated by Katie Holmes, who pops her eyes, scrunches her nose and shakes her booty in lieu of acting),”

And Katie Holmes comes across as an immature actress trying desperately to be taken seriously. Holmes' movie career has been spotty at best and she hasn't done anything noteworthy since 2003. Her work here indicates her best role might be to stay off the screen and play wife and mother. - Reelviews

Holmes (who looks anorexic) mugs annoyingly. - Seattle Post Intelligencer

Wrapped With Love Is Not A Condom

All I saw were the words Hilary Duff, sale, and Wrapped With Love. Of course I'm thinking to myself Hilary is starting her own condom line. I think that is pretty cool. As she shakes off that teen image and dates a pro hockey player, she is showing the world, hey condoms can be branded and I am going to sell them.

Then, I looked a little closer and saw that she is hawking her second brand of perfume. Who the hell came up withe the name Wrapped With Love for a perfume anyway? How do you even fit it on the damn bottle. Maybe sideways or something, or really small print. I am not sure why or how celebrities designing their own fashions or perfumes or dog food bowls became news. Despite what any of them say, with very few exceptions, most of the celebrities just do what the company says. This is no different from endorsing a product 10 years ago. Now though, the companies make it seem like the celebrity was involved.

With a name for a perfume as idiotic as Wrapped With Love maybe that is the part they gave Hilary to do. I just don't think of perfume when I hear that. Maybe that is the idea. Maybe guys will buy it for their ladies and think if I buy it, Hilary will jump out and wrap me with love, or at least my grateful girlfriend will wrap me in love. And when I say wrap, I think we all know what kind of wrapping I am talking about. No, not the plain brown wrapping. Although that has gone by the wayside now. If you go to the Hustler store for sex toys and videos you aren't coming out of there with a brown paper bag. Nope, they give you a huge bag with Hustler written all over it, and in the light you can see right through it and see all your fetishes.

Would You Date An Accused Sex Offender?

I saw an article in Star that says R. Kelly is dating Trenyce Cobbins. If her name sounds familiar it is because she was a finalist on American Idol a few years ago. She is 27 and R. Kelly is 40. According to Star the couple has been carrying out a secret long-distance relationship since April after meeting through a mutual friend - both jetting across the country to spend time together. A source said, "He was drawn to her immediately. He loves it when someone is both talented and beautiful and Trenyce is definitely that".

I think she is also about 12 years too old for him. Hell she is going to be 30 in a few years. If you add up the ages of his last two girlfriends they don't even add up to 30. I have no doubt they are going out, or went out. The point is she must have known that he has these 14 counts of sex with a minor against him. Do you just say, that doesn't matter and I like him anyway, or do you say the 14 charges are crap. If it had been 30 charges, ok, then I will believe, but 14, is just a bunch of lies. If you have a career you are trying to get off the ground, are you with him for that, but also do you risk being associated with him and having what is left of your 15 minutes go down with him?

I would say that as a perv I would probably be willing to go out once or twice with some of those skanky female teachers who hit on their students. I would not however ever in any circumstance go out with that law student who kidnapped her boyfriend. Now, me saying I would go out with those teachers is more of a curiosity factor. I want to see if they are normal or appear to be normal, or are just bearing down on teenage boys. I think it would be pretty disturbing to actually date one of the teachers or sleep with them, and would be a little bit sick and twisted, and not really in a good way.

If you say you would go out with R. Kelly is it because he is famous and you would never give Joe Blow a chance, or do you just say no to everyone? How do you even know if the person you are dating is a sex offender or not? Do you look them all up before you go out?

Here is Trenyce singing on American Idol

Happy Birthday Connor

Dear Connor Cruise,

I just wanted to say Happy Birthday. I wrote a letter to your stepmom on her birthday and figured I could do the same for you. You got to see your dad last night huh? Well sorry he had to ruin your birthday like that by taking you out to dinner. Kind of sucks that on your birthday he makes you dress up in a suit and tie just to go get something to eat. It is your birthday after all. I guess he didn't want to take you to the Lakers/Suns game or something fun like that. Instead he took you to a cold, formal dinner and probably lectured you on how he personally made it possible for the food you were eating to magically appear on your plate.

I know he likes sports. I saw him at a Washington Redskins playoff game. They lost. I blame your dad. Every time he shows up they lose. I'm sure he has lots of ideas how they could possibly win, but honestly after he starts that crazy ass laugh of his, I stop listening and just run and make sure all my doors are locked and that everything in the house is unplugged.

People make a big deal out of the fact that you and your sister (she is still alive right?) live with your aunt. If I had the choice between any aunt on the face of the earth and your dad, I would pick the aunt. I don't care if it was Aunt Esther from Sanford and Son or the crazy one from Bewitched, at least they would be better than your dad. Am I right? Right.

Don't worry about your dad not spending anytime with you over the past year. I think it is because he has to pretend that he has a biological child and being the perfect family man. After awhile when Suri starts to realize just how crazy her dad is, she will be forced to go live with her aunt also. By that time your stepmom's contract will be up and she will have earned a nice chunk of change to boot. Once she is out of the picture, then maybe your dad will allow you to see your mom. I heard you only get to talk to her through e-mail and webcam. I use webcams also, but I think you are too young to use them for what I use them for. Ask your dad if he ever uses them.

Anyway, if your aunt lets you use the internet, and you read this, feel free to e-mail me back and tell me what your dad bought you for your birthday. I would love to know.

EL

P.S. Tell your sister I will send her a letter on her birthday too.

Night Shift 2 - Starring Lindsay Lohan

When I heard that Lindsay Lohan was going to have to work at a morgue for a whopping total of 8 hours the first thought that popped into my head was the early 80's move Night Shift. It starred Michael Keaton and Henry Winkler and had Shelley Long as the hooker and neighbor of Winkler's character and of course his true love.

With Lindsay's penchant for hooking up with guys just after meeting them and the ample space to achieve such hookups, I thought that Lindsay might take this opportunity to engage in her own version of Night Shift. Of course she will probably work during the daytime and sign autographs for the entirety of each of her four shifts, but it is a nice thought to have. Hell if she did a Night Shift 2 it couldn't do any worse than her last few movies, and lets face it, Henry Winkler could use the work.

Incidentally I think the fact that Lindsay is going to have to spend time in a morgue and in a hospital emergency room on an overnight weekend shift a great punishment for those caught drinking and driving. It seems to me that instead of 46 minutes in jail, all offenders would get more out of such an experience and make a much larger impact than an hour seeing the inside of a jail.

To actually see the impact of a drunk driver is probably a much bigger jolt to the system and a much bigger deterrent than getting booked into the front door of the jail and immediately being escorted out the back with time served.

Daily Mirror Blind Item

Which reality tv star was caught with a bleeding nose in a West End club? She had been snorting the white stuff all evening....

I'm Guessing These Aren't Regular Touristy Type Photos

When most people lose their camera or have it stolen on a vacation they cuss for a few minutes, blame the local population and if they are American probably go and eat at a McDonalds to get over their misery. That's what normal people do. What Penelope Cruz did was get on the phone to her lawyer and quicker than you can say naked photos with Javier Bardem, Penelope's attorney fired off a letter to the tabloids warning them against publishing any photos of Penelope they may think are exclusive.

While I understand what he is doing, and why since Penelope would obviously like a piece of the pie so to speak, I think he is going overboard. There must have been thousands and thousands of photos of Penelope on her recent vacation taken by the paps. What pictures could she have taken they didn't get? More photos with her sister doing even more crazy things? More photos with Javier? Perhaps the three of them together. I don't really know, and I wouldn't have suspected they include any of those things if this massive attack had not been launched by her attorney.

Now this also causes any photos of Penelope to come under scrutiny even if they were obtained legally because the tabloids will not know for 100% sure that a pap took them or if they came from the lost camera. What photos could possibly be so important?

Getting Shot To Sell Albums

Not content with regular promotion tactics to create anticipation for his upcoming album, German hip-hop star Massiv has been accused of staging a drive-by shooting in a bid to boost album sales.

The rapper was pacing back and forth on a street in a neighborhood known as Neukolln which is known for its violence. As he paced back for about the 20th time a man pulled up and fired four bullets at Massiv, one passing straight through his right shoulder, according to a statement released by his record label No Limits Music.

A spokesman added, "Massiv is totally shocked. He lost a lot of blood and was near death."

The police see it much differently though. Yes, bullets were fired. However, they describe Massiv's injury as a mere graze to the skin. Cops are also suspicious because there was a ten paragraph story up on Massiv's website within 4 minutes of the attack and Massiv's brush with death.

A police spokesman says, "Several shots are supposed to have been fired at the singer from close range, so we are rather surprised that only one bullet grazed his arm. However, there is no doubt that there was an incident." Massiv has vehemently denied allegations the incident was a publicity stunt to promote his new album One Man One Word, due out next month. Of course he is going to deny it. If it happened in the US he would go to jail for it. I am guessing it must be some kind of crime in Germany as well. Plus, how big of an idiot do you have to be to let yourself get shot. I know they probably hired a pro, but even pros make mistakes. He did get his headlines though.

Like I Need Another Reason To Dislike Beyonce

Last time I checked, Beyonce was a member of the Screen Actors Guild. Although the strike may be settled by the time the Grammy Awards air in early February, as it stands now, SAG members are not crossing the picket lines of the WGA to perform or to present. Except of course for Beyonce. Beyonce has made it clear that she is going to perform at the Grammy Awards and that she doesn't really care if there is a strike or that the entire membership of SAG is united in the effort.

Beyonce has made it perfectly clear that the only person she thinks of is her. 50 Cent and Jon Bon Jovi are also members of SAG and have made it clear they will not cross the picket lines but Beyonce who was so proud to be cast in films is turning her back on the entire membership. I hope her four minutes of airtime are worth the fact that she should not ever get another role in another film or television show ever again.

If a musician who is not a member of SAG wants to play the show then that is fine. I know Foo Fighters are still going to play and there will be others. BUT, the key difference is they are not members of an organization which have told its members not to cross. Beyonce will be the ONLY member of SAG to cross the lines. She has no noble reason for doing it. She is not doing it to help CBS or the awards themselves. Beyonce is doing it for Beyonce and because she figures that the spotlight will be focused on her. It will be focused now, but for all the wrong reasons.

I guess Beyonce is a SAG supporter only when it helps Beyonce. I have also decided that from now on in this blog Beyonce only talks about herself in the 3rd person so that way she can hear her name more often.

Ted C Blind Item

Well, we were going to blab all about pee-happy Super-Duper Cooper’s nasty-ass demand that his (ex) blondie ditz dame get an abortion—most men are simply hideous, straight and gay, all there is to it—but after last week’s pooch-offing Blind left us in a very bad mood, just had to offer up something, uh, a tad more festive to ponder this week. Hope you don’t mind. Promise, back to the desultory trash soon!

So, remember Bravado Boom-Cocks, the star with the overly loud, potty-mouthed manners who chewed out a poor party host? He’s just gotten himself a fabulous new mansion. Ain’t entertainment money just devilishly over-the-top? The pad’s as huge as the boy’s rumored endowment, promise. And he was bragging about the spread’s size to an amigo recently. And said amigo was quite aware of BBC’s fondness for masturbation. So, he asked the award-winning celebrity if he had yet autoerotically christened the new mansion yet.

“Are you kidding?” bellowed the outspoken pisser. “Every room.”

Jeez. He hasn't even moved in to the joint yet. That sex addict works fast.

Today's Blind Items

Who would have thought that the death of a Japanese tycoon could have an effect on a Hollywood marriage. About two months ago a Japanese tycoon died. About two weeks ago the husband of our gorgeous, foreign born, B list film actress answered the phone to discover that the tycoon had left his actress wife almost $5M in his will. The husband had never heard of the guy and assumed there had been some mistake. Yes, his wife was a famous actress but no one just leaves that much money to someone they have never met. Well, when he mentioned it to this wife he could tell she did know the tycoon. How did she know him and what made him leave his wife $5M? Turns out that the wife had met the tycoon when she was just starting out in the business and had spent some time with him on several occasions. When I say spending time, I think you know what I am getting at. Apparently our actress must have left quite an impression with her interpersonal skills. The husband wasn't really that upset about his wife's past. He may have been more so if he knew that she had seen the tycoon once or twice after her marriage.

Random Photos Part One

I didn't think Lindsay Lohan would ever make it to the top of the list ever again. See what happens when you try. Or not?
This is my conspiracy photo of the day. Click on the photo and make it nice and big. Is that a booger in her left nostril or something else. Of course it could be just freckles. She has them everywhere so why not inside her nose.
Felicity Huffman needs much better lighting. Don't you wish that you could just walk down a street and automatically be photoshopped.
One Hills cast member a day is all I can stand. Today the lucky person is Audrina Partridge. Not for anything special like her new boyfriend or the fact that she has joined the world of women who have been photographed getting out of a car with no panties. It is instead because she obviously did or ate something on the way to the premiere and just spilled it all over her. They are some very odd stains, but you have to love that she showed up and smiled anyway.
Adnan as a 17 year old. He is without a doubt the oldest looking 17 year old I have ever seen. You want to talk about back hair, you just know he has tons and tons.
Prince William after his first solo flight.
If you out a horse mouth on Ashlee Simpson then she could pass for Julia Roberts with that new hair color and all that work. Maybe that is what she is going for. Maybe Pete Wentz always wanted a shot at Julia and so he is having Ashlee slowly morph into Julia.
Some kind of Army roleplaying perhaps?
Your Jeopardy Question of the day. "What has Tom Cruise never felt?"
I'm guessing that Jesse Metcalfe lost some weight.
Maybe the Scientologists want a church cookbook.
The Snake Queen performing in London.
Whenever you are feeling down just go over to YouTube and type in Rex Lee and you will feel much better.
With all the reality shows around, how come Ron Jeremy doesn't have his own one yet? I think it would be great.