Every weekend new photos of Miley Cyrus come out that are worse than the week before. At this rate, she will be venturing into the world of child porn before we know it. I don't think anyone can look at the genesis of these photos over the past few weeks and not tell me that she has taken probably even worse photos than these. It's time someone close to her put a stop to this. Who does she want to see these photos? She is only 15 right? I know every week you say that you have seen worse on MySpace, but these are getting pretty close to the edge. If you want to see her April 2008 photos including one where she is showing off her bra and almost shows way too much, click here. From there you can link to her bikini photos, and also her sleepover photos and topless photos.
Saturday, January 26, 2008
Friday, January 25, 2008
By request I have some Dominic Purcell, as well as some other surprises for you including video. As always, totally NSFW and if you are under 18, go find better porn. Your mom or dad probably has some stashed under their mattress if they blocked all your porn sites on your computer. However, if you find a blank videotape under the mattress, DON'T watch it, unless you want to see mom and dad doing things that will cost you thousands of dollars and years of therapy. With all that being said, you can click here to see this week's edition.
January 21, 2008
This is a B lister. I almost think of our actress as the epitome of a B lister. She has done television and films and is probably more of a B lister for the television, but she does have some great film roles. Anyway, this week at Sundance. Oh, I guess that will narrow it down some huh? At Sundance this week, our actress was walking down the street and spotted a teenage girl who was sitting on a backpack, shivering and didn't have anything on but a sweater and jeans even though it was after dark and well below freezing. Turns out the girl had come out to Park City to hang out with a guy she barely knew but he blew her off for some other girl, so she had no room and no place to stay and didn't have the money to change her return airline ticket which was for three days in the future. Our actress didn't really believe the girl at first but then the girl showed her the airline ticket and her i.d. That was enough for our actress. She took the girl to a store and bought her a jacket, and then took her back to her hotel for food and fun. The actress called some friends over to cheer the girl up, got her some dinner and then had everyone take turns calling the jerk who traded her for another girl. Our actress changed the return date on the ticket, paying for the change and even upgraded the girl to first class for the flight home. She let the girl spend the night, got her out to the airport the next morning and gave her a few hundred bucks.
June 19, 2007
#1 This star basketball player has been in trouble before at home and away but had his life back on track. Now, it appears that maybe things aren't so great at home. He and his wife don't sleep in the same room, or even on the same floor. Maybe it has something to do with that hot little thing he has been sneaking around with two or three times.
I thought I had revealed this before, but can't find it.
May 18, 2007
The night before this recent awards show #1__________________(female pop star although also one horrible movie) went to dinner with #2__________________(aging, but classy country star), her husband #3_________________(non celebrity, but give it a shot), and #4___________________(extremely popular male country singer) from the band #5_____________________.(think two letters from an extreme adult activity) At dinner they had about 5 bottles of wine and #1 was well on her way to being plastered. They decided to hit the casino for a little gambling after dinner and things got much worse from there. #4 only drinks tequila so he and #1 were taking shot after shot after shot. Needless to say, #1 was a MESS within about an hour, but she didn't stop. She stayed out until 2AM and more or less had to be carried up to her room by the end of the night. She was late for the dress rehearsal the next day and was so hungover by the time showtime came around she could barely make it through her performance with #2. Everyone wondered why she was so hard to hear during the performance and it was because she was insanely hungover from the night before and "didn't feel up to performing" at all.
March 9, 2007
#4 This A List actor at least in his mind and the way he acts is a little nervous these days. Turns out that his body which he displays with pride may have been the product of a little chemical help. Seems he used the same pharmacy as many of the athletes now getting into trouble and is afraid his name will also show up on the list and be made public.
I guess that doe has heard the rumors about Jessica Biel.
Jaime Pressly did have a baby right? She's even more than before the baby.
Way to ruin a cartoon for millions of kids.
I'm guessing that hat was a giveaway from the Trojan condom folks.
Hayden Panettiere answers the hot new red carpet question. Instead of who are you are wearing, it's what do you have in your purse?
Ryan Reynolds with some really big hair. Not Jim Carrey Ace Ventura hair, but some big hair.
Yeah, Yeah. Giselle Bundchen and Mikhail Baryshnikov, but if I was Tina Fey I would be pissed. She's Tinkerbell.
Looks like a great cast. I wonder if Jimmy Fallon's sock got a credit.
Ryan's hair is so big they couldn't even get it in the photo.
Speaking of fake hair. No, Ryan's hair isn't fake, but just about everything John Travolta has going for him is.
Jeremy Piven throws that Spock sign so popular in gangs today.
Terry Gilliam is the director of the film Heath Ledger was working on when he died. The film is called The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus and was scheduled to wrap in about six weeks. Although production was shut down after the death of Heath, the producers want to continue filming, but this time with Johnny Depp in the lead role. According to The Sun, a studio source says that "There is a point in the film when Heath falls through a magic mirror. He could change into another character after that and that is where Johnny would come in. It's a weird, fantasy, time-travel movie so Heath's character could easily change appearance. It would be a poignant moment. Johnny's not working at the moment so everyone is praying he will do it."
I have mixed emotions about all of this. I understand that movies are a business and there are lots of people involved in the making of the film and certain obligations to be met. But, at the same time it just seems too business like that someone dies and then a week later another actor just comes right in a fills the role and it is business as usual. On the other hand, when an actor dies during filming and the script gets rewritten or the film is edited in such a way that the actor is not in it as much seems like a disservice to the memory of the actor and can often lead to a horrible film which just does no one any favors and leaves the world with a crap film as the last piece of film an actor did.
If Johnny did step in, I think the premise is solid and would be a much better tribute to the legacy of Heath than some cut and paste job the editors, director and writers can come up with. It also would allow all the people who are counting on the money from the film to feed their families a chance to continue to do so.
If you will recall, back in October there was a huge amount of press when David Copperfield was accused of rape, and the FBI raided his Las Vegas warehouse. Since then, there has been nothing. Not even really a whisper of anything going on. The two cities most involved in the situation are Seattle and Las Vegas. The major Seattle newspaper has not followed up on the original story, and has not even mentioned David Copperfield since the October allegations surfaced. In Las Vegas, there was one article which was published in November about morality clauses in Vegas contracts. You can read the article here. The gist was that perhaps the MGM should have thrown out Copperfield on his ass, but didn't, and instead had him perform there for a six week run over the holidays where ticket sales were "brisk."
What that says to me is that people don't really care what Copperfield did or may have done or was accused of doing. People were shelling out hundreds of dollars a person to see him perform as if nothing had happened. Indeed, what has happened? Allegedly there is a federal grand jury investigating the claims. No doubt they all have spent a week or two or three traveling to the Bahamas to investigate further during the chilly winter months, but there has been no news, no leaks, and I don't think that is right. I understand grand jury testimony is secret, but I don't understand why the newspapers in the affected cities can't at least have one of their staff spend a day or two investigating where the matter stands now. That last sentence holds true even if David Copperfield did nothing wrong. The newspapers of the world had a field day or two slamming him, and so if they were wrong, everyone should know. If they were right, then don't you think people should know that also so that other women won't be afraid to come forward.
The only news account about David Copperfield since October came from the National Enquirer. It is a story that ran the first week of January. It recounted the story of a limo driver who said David Copperfield attempted to rape a woman in the back of a limo in 1996 while he was dating Claudia Schiffer. The limo driver has offered to testify at any trial.
Here is what he had to say. John St. John said incident took place in Ottawa, Canada in 1996, while Copperfield, 51, was engaged to Claudia Schiffer. St. John was ordered to pick up the woman - a Schiffer lookalike - and then drive around the city while Copperfield attempted to seduce her. He told the Enquirer, "I know when someone is having consensual sex in my limousine, but what was going on this time was different. They were struggling and I heard raised voices. I could hear the girl saying: 'No. Get off me' and 'Stop'.
"It was the first time as a driver that I didn't know what to do. I am a father of three daughters and I knew I would be kissing my career goodbye by dragging Copperfield out of the car - but I thought I had no other option. "Just then I heard David call me on the intercom saying: 'Take me back.'" Copperfield's representatives have described St.John's claims as "fiction"
David Copperfield has a big US tour this spring and summer. Are you buying tickets?
I really have been trying to cut Jessica Simpson a break this past week, and was trying and trying not to write anything about her idiot letter to OK! Magazine, but I just couldn't hold back anymore. OK! said that Jessica and Tony Romo had broken up because Jessica was high maintenance. Ummm. Anyone who watched Newlyweds knows that.
This was a case where a magazine wrote something she didn't like and probably went to Pimpa and said in her best baby voice that the magazine said she had broken up with Tony and she wanted them to stop saying those things. So, Pimpa, of course being the good dad we all know him to be and desperate to be the father-in-law of a pro athlete called up his attorneys and told them to write a nasty letter to OK!. OK! promptly spread it around the office and laughed their silly little heads off. There is nothing in that article worthy of a lawsuit. They know it and the lawyers know it.
Meanwhile Jessica spent probably $5000 to have that letter sent, and probably had to do some retail therapy to get over the pain of having a magazine saying she and her boyfriend broke up. I notice she didn't say anything when the tabs said she and John Mayer were breaking up every week or when they said she and Nick were breaking up every week.
Hell, maybe I am all wrong here. Maybe this wasn't Jessica at all behind this. Maybe it was simply the Pimpa. He didn't care what the tabs wrote about Nick and John because he didn't like Nick and John. But you know Pimpa loves him some Tony Romo. Pimpa probably is working behind the scenes to keep Tony there with his Jessica. If Jessica doesn't work out, then I guess he could arrange Pete Wentz to be caught with other women so then Ashlee would be free for Tony.
So Jessica I'm going to let you off the hook on this one. You probably don;t even read the magazines anyway. Unless they have lots of purty pictures.
Lindsay Lohan is writing again. This time though it is more than just one text message so I hope she has a very good editor. Lindsay has started writing her autobiography. I think it is something every 21 year old should do as they have lived such a long and full life and have so much knowledge and wisdom to share with the world. Hell, I think Paris Hilton is on her third biography and she is only 40 or so. I know she is actually younger than that but there is a math formula that states you have to add one year to your life for every fifty people you have sex with. It's why Jenna Jameson looks like she is 100. Trust me I learned all about this is in algebra or one of the metry classes. Trig or Geo.
Anyway, Lindsay is out of cash and so is writing an outline of what she would say and who she would throw under a bus depending on how much cash is offered. Of course she could just sell her stories or photos straight to the tabloids like her dad and thus save us the pain of having to wade through 150 pages of crap. There will be 150 pages of worthless blabbering ghostwritten by someone her dad finds for Lindsay. Therefore every other page will be about how great her dad is. Hell, it will probably sound like Lindsay was raised solely by her dad, and that her mom abandoned her at birth.
After spending hundreds of thousands of dollars on rehab and legal fees, as well as all the other expenses in her life, Lindsay was forced to sell her LA and NY homes because she couldn't make the mortgage payments. I don't have an extra bed, but there is a really stained, beat up recliner she can use at my place if she needs something.
Instead of an autobiography, I think she should write a book about why she picks up guys and has sex with them in the first hour after knowing them, and how come she is not doing that for a living instead of giving it up for free. You would think that if she started charging, she would have to make more than writing some book no one is going to want to read in the first place.
The book is tentatively entitled. "Be Adequite"
According to the National Enquirer, Katie Holmes was already pregnant before she even met Tom Cruise. The father of Suri according to them is Chris Klein. I personally have my doubts about Chris being the father, but whatever. It still makes for a much better story than Tom Being the father. I take that back. If Tom were the father than I would know an immaculate conception is possible so I guess that would make him being the father a bigger story.
Anyway, the ever present "source" told the Enquirer that Chris Klein told him Holmes was pregnant and that Chris was the father. The source passed a lie detector test and had this to say to the Enquirer.
“We were having dinner at Cafeteria, a restaurant in NY’s Chelsea district, when Chris blurted out ‘Dude, you know I got Katie preggers.’
If Chris Klein actually used those words, then I would guess Chris was talking to his boyfriend and that he just watched Katie get pregnant. What guy has ever said the word preggers? Ever? In the history of the world?
“There was a long silence. I realized Chris had said more than he intended. My next thought was: 'What happened to the baby?'”
Why didn't Chris want to say anything? If he got paid off, he didn't get much because he is not exactly living large. Further, if promises were made to help his career, then he should get on the phone pretty quick because his career is fading away almost as fast as Katie's.
The source added: “From the look in Chris’ eyes, I realized this was highly personal. I didn’t want to probe any further. We quickly went on to another topic.
Well then what kind of friend are you? Friends dig and probe and find out everything they can, so that way when they do end up selling the story to the Enquirer you have something to share and show for your questions other than one sentence which sounds great until you read the damn word preggers.
“Chris never brought it up again, but I know he must be reminded of Katie’s pregnancy every time he sees her daughter.”
Notice that the friend calls Suri her daughter. Not Chris' daughter, or their daughter. If this source was so convinced that Suri was Chris Klein's kid, how come he didn't say his daughter? What the Enquirer did was play fast loose with the quotes of the person. If you look very carefully, you will notice that the source never says the baby is not Tom Cruise's baby. The source says Katie got pregnant by Chris, but we don't know exactly when that pregnancy occurred. Then at the end, the source says Katie's baby. If Suri is Tom and Katie's baby, it is not lying to say that Suri is Katie's baby. Nice job by the Enquirer, and very libel proof.
Slurpa Pop-Off’s pups may not always escape their closets, but her exes are frolicking out one by one. One of Slurpa’s old boudoir conquests obvs needed something a little more in the sack—like eight inches more, as he’s been known to tryst with transvestites since bustin’ up with sexin’ Slurpa. Another one of SPO’s past and most precious "dating" pets, Purcell Poke-Me, is spotted regularly at a hole-in-the-wall gym on Beverly Boulevard. (Not mine, you heathens!)
PPM lives to tone his totally taut bod with personal training seshes early in the ayem. Boy looks completely cut and coiffed—all for naught, perhaps, since the once superpoppy PPO’s poster-boy days are pretty much dunzo. Or so it would seem. Nevertheless, Purcell puts on quite the show, stretching out on the mat oh-so-intimately with his equally arduous and good-looking trainer as the gym bunnies gawk 'n' gawk. Smell-it-all mattress word reveals that Slurpa’s former flame boffs the dudes right 'n' left and hits the bars in Boys Town (and their mostly man-filled gyms) when visiting this coast, throwing drinks back with WeHo’s finest in a way most straight men are not exactly wont to do.
Is Purcell going to be the next Lance Bass to come pirouetting out of the closet? His well-manicured mane says yes, but his well-known mucho macho aggression suggests otherwise. Slurpa’s been known to toe the bi-line herself. Maybe these two should replay the charade all over again?
Thursday, January 24, 2008
So a little change of pace. After I saw that The Time was going to play the Grammy Awards it got me thinking about a time when I was just starting out. I used to promote concerts to get through school. This was when little guys still could do it and corporations had not swallowed up every possible venue. I had promoted The Time two or three times and made some money. I had got to know some of the group and once we happened to be in Las Vegas at the same time. They invited me to their show and to a party they were having after. I want to say they were playing at the Riviera, but I can't remember. I think it was because this was when Frank Sinatra was still alive and I remember thinking I had seen him play in the same room a week earlier and how crazy Vegas is that two totally different acts can both pack in a crowd. Of course Sinatra tickets were three times the price of The Time tickets.
Anyway, after the show, we went to a club or two, but this was still the older Vegas. Excalibur was the only big new hotel. Everything else was still to come. The clubs were still very rough around the edges. Very rough. So, after seeing a possible stabbing death at the second club we went to, we decided to head back to the hotel and one of their suites. I don't remember anyone calling anyone but all of a sudden the place was absolutely packed. Packed like it took you five full minutes to make your way across the room from one side to the other.
There was one clear area though and it was this big glass table. It was probably seven feet long and three feet wide. Sitting around the table were people basically two deep. The top of the table was covered in coke. I had seen people do coke before and thought I had seen a lot on a table before, but this was the most ever. None of the guys from The Time were touching it. I do remember that. BUT, I do remember that there were two people from this brand new television show called Beverly Hills 90210 who were sucking coke down like someone was trying to steal it from them. Most people were being very patient and chatting in between lines. Not these two. One female and one male were all over it. They were outdone in their zest for the drug only by this actress from Saved By The Bell. I honestly thought they were going to fight for it. Later, after the crowd had thinned I saw the male from 90210 and the actress from Saved By The Bell getting it on in a corner. She was pretty hot, I have to tell you. The guy I remember was very sweaty. The actress from 90210 never left the coke. Ever. Not until it was all gone. Then she got up, and left. Didn't say goodbye or anything. Just walked out and left. Hell of a night.
I never thought I would see them again, but The Time is going to play the Grammy Awards. Pause. With Rihanna. Enough talking. Lets all watch Jungle Love together and think about how old Morris Day probably looks and if he will try and slip Rihanna the tongue at some point during the night. I really loved The Time. There was this one night after a show. No, I will save it for later. For now enjoy the music.
That country singing show starts tomorrow night so the stars got to ring the bell at the New York Stock Exchange. I know this is the in thing to do right now, but I really don't see the people who watch CNBC and the Fox Business Channel scurrying in front of their television tomorrow night to watch Dee Snider and Bobby Brown singing a duet of Stand By Your Man. Also, showing my continued ignorance could someone please explain to me how you can gain weight after having gastric bypass surgery. Carnie Wilson was heavy then had the surgery, dropped a bunch of weight and did Playboy. Now, she is not as heavy as she was originally, but is way above her Playboy weight.
These guys don't even look at all interested in having Carmen Electra next to them. Judging by their outfits, I think if they were interested, we would all know.
Too bad Boy George wasn't there. He would have helped check. I know I'm crazy but I just love Boy George. If Marlon Brando had been gay and a singer, this would have been him.
You know if anyone of us had done the things Anne Hathaway's boyfriend has done, we would all be in jail and not pretending to like some actress.
Funny thing happened on the way to the Producer Guild Of America party. No actors came. Funny huh?
That's the same way all of us feel when we look at your acting Mischa. Unfortunately now that you are only in films, we have to pay for the pleasure of that pain.
Is someone filming Ghostbusters 3, because I found the Staypuff Marshmallow Man.
I don't really have anything to say about Josh Hartnett, just thought you might want to see him. OK, moving on now.
Ummm. Maybe you might want to go back to Josh. Seems as if Eva Longoria is auditioning for all the parts in Dallas. I think Victoria Principal wants her wig back though.
Even Zoe has got into the whole leggings thing. Are we going to blame this whole thing on Lindsay Lohan? Who do I blame for Zoe cutting off her own hair?
Wow that was a quick recovery from an appendix operation. Full jogging and everything. The miracles of modern medicine never cease to amaze me.
You gotta love the shoes.
I'm not even a Sean Combs fan (no more Puffy, P. Diddy, Diddy, or adulterer, now it is Sean Combs) but I like these kinds of photos. Sean and John Stamos were plugging their new film at Sundance.
That is one hell of a name for a James Bond film. What the hell does it even mean?
Amy Winehouse has finally gone to rehab. Hopefully she stays, and gets healthy. As much as I love talking crap about Amy, I do so because she is an enormous talent. Back to Black is one of the best albums I have heard in a long time and I want to hear more in the future.
"Amy decided to enter the facility today after talks with her record label, management, family and doctors," said the statement from Universal Music Group. "She has come to understand that she requires specialist treatment to continue her ongoing recovery from drug addiction and prepare for her planned appearance at the Grammy Awards. She is nominated in an incredible six categories."
"Amy entered the facility by mutual agreement and continues to receive the full support of all concerned," Universal Music Group said in the statement. "Amy is the most talented and important musical artist of her generation and has made huge strides on her road to recovery. Universal Music Group wants nothing more than to see her take the time she needs to come back to full health and fulfill her incredible potential with the label."
The statement added: "The label has always had the best interests of Amy at heart and has been guided by her family and doctors in the last few months as to the best direction to take. All concerned feel that Amy must put her health before all other considerations and will be by her side whenever and wherever they are needed."
As I said earlier this week, her label could probably give a rat's ass about her except for the fact that she makes them money. However, I do hope they are doing this out of her well being and not because they want to make money off of her in the future. I do want you to notice how they still manage to inject some sleaziness in this statement by talking about how Amy and her album were nominated for six Grammy's and that she will be attending the show. Considering that the show is in a few weeks it is going to be a very short rehab, but the almighty dollar does come first. Well, actually the dollar isn't worth crap right now, so lets say the almighty Pound Sterling.
Do you ever have weeks that are such______ weeks?
I'm not sure if it's just the industry I'm in but some time I have a week that is such an acting week. Some times it's a week that is such a stunt week. Family drama week. Day job week. Romance week. I HATE the opposite sex week. Stressing about money week. Well, the last two weeks were acting weeks and I'm thrilled.
I had my audition for the Jared Hess Movie and pariss is right it is Gentleman Broncos. It's a fun quirky script. So when I went in I dressed quirky. I think it went really well. The CD (casting director) seemed to really be enjoying what I was doing. It was an early pre-read (for movies you might have go through as many as 7 for a lead role) so it'll be a while before I would hear anything. But the good news is she also casts Entourage so it was great to get to audition for her.
Friday I met with an actor that I've worked with before and a director he's working with now. The director had wanted us to meet so that I could be in the project that is shooting now. They showed me the footage, told me about the project and I was really excited to be a part of it. So we are going to shoot in the beginning of February.
Monday I had an audition for an ad campaign. Like Verizon (you know the Can you hear me now Guy) but not nearly as big. Only 3-5 spots, not a million and 3 like that guy. But it is a national campaign so that is great. I knew the man directing it and he called me in directly. Since I knew the company, they asked me to stay and
read with the other people auditioning.
I thought it was going to be great. What I didn't realize is that the other people they wanted to me to read with were my competition. It was so emotionally conflicting. On one hand I was excited to see how my competition was doing. They were really good. Everyone was different, but good. As a reader, you are supposed to help everyone get as good of a read as possible so I wanted to give them something good to read against, on the other hand I was helping them act me out of job. I mean what if you had a job that you really wanted but had to be the one to interview your competition for it. You want to help them have a good interview BUT you don't want them to get your job!
It all paid off though, because when it was my turn to audition, the company went out of their way to make sure I put my best foot forward. They adjusted the light, camera angle, and we did a number of takes to get the best one.
Today I'm at the editors to log the footage we shot before the holidays on the webisode that I'm helping my friend with. It looks great.
I just wanted to add that Locks of Love do sell some hair. But as "A"pointed out, only the sections that are too short. Plus, they sell the hair to offset the $6000 per wig cost. I also wanted to say that I didn't do this alone. A few people that I work with frequently, and have become friends with, all ended up doing this at
the same time. It was great to see us all together with long hair before , and then again after with our new hair cuts.
Someone recently told me that Pantene (I believe it was Pantene) is trying to get something like 1,000,000 inches of hair this year for a similar cause... So if you are considering cutting off your hair and donating it, you may want to look into that too.
What kind of Week have you guys had?
Tom Cruise must have promised Kneepads Magazine exclusives until he dies to get this kind of snowjob published. In this week's issue, all of Tom Cruise's celebrity friends contributed testimonials of how Tom is a great guy. Considering the list of celebrities that have come to Tom's aid, I'm guessing all these testimonials were provided to the magazine by Tom's people after being edited for brevity and love for Tom. Notice how not one. NOT ONE of these glowing testimonials refers to either Katie Holmes or Suri Cruise by name. Only Tom's name is ever mentioned.
Adam Sandler said, "To see anyone's private life invaded and mocked like this is sickening. It's especially gross when it happens to a guy like Cruise, who's a great dad, a great husband, and a great friend."
I would agree that if Tom was doing this in the privacy of his own home it would be sickening for us to mock him, but the fact is he makes his religion part of who he is in the public eye, and therefore it is not private and is subject to mockery.
Dustin Hoffman said, "Tom Cruise is an American and has the right to freedom of speech and freedom of religion."
Yes he does Dustin and so do we.
Dan Snyder, (Washington Redskins Owner) "Tom is a winner. That's a fact. He is a terrific actor, a terrific father and a terrific person. I'm proud to be his friend."
Of course Dan couldn't say anything less considering he has got a bunch of his money dependent on the success of Tom Cruise. Can't really call him a loser can he?
Ben Stiller said, "Imagine having a baby and people talking about it the way they did. People lose sight of the fact that Tom Cruise is actually a person. I feel for him."
Kind of like the way Tom talked about all of us in that video. Treated everyone who is a spectator really well didn't he?
Bruce Willis, Demi Moore, Jim Carrey, and producer Harvey Weinstein also contributed to this love fest for Tom. Not Kaite or Suri, just Tom. Really he is all that matters here. The rest of the family is just window dressing. They will be long gone while he is still trying to salvage a career.
Mark your calendars for February 23rd. It is the night before the Oscars, a big night for charity, but it is also the night that Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie have their dance off. Every year on the night before the Academy Awards there is a charity event to help support the Motion Picture and Television Fund. Generally there are several hosts of the party, and this year Jennifer Aniston, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are among the co-hosts. As hosts they are expected to do many things together, which should be fun.
But, to make the night complete I think there needs to be a dance off. You know like the famous Britney vs Justin dance off or even the Zoolander thrown into the mix, it would be one hell of a cult. Give the walk off. I think it should be Angelina Jolie vs Jennifer Aniston and then because Jennifer never can get her own date, it should be Brad Pitt v. David Arquette. That would be a great night. Unfortunately for everyone who would be there watching, I think David Arquette is probably the only one who can actually dance. Also, with that high annoying voice of Courteney Cox screaming at Jen to dance better, maybe it would be a good idea if instead of a dance off they just played quarters until everyone was drunk. Then they could all get naked, have sex and start their own cult. With all the kids and crazy Arquettes, they would definitely give the Scientologists a run for their money. The two would definitely be comparable as to level of star power, and I would definitely out Alexis Arquette up against Tom Cruise for the whacky factor any day of the week. With Angelina involved there would be probably be more sacrifices and bloodlettings than occur in Scientology and might not be great to know during a membership drive, but this is all so new. They can work it all out.
In case you just can't wait for the season premiere of Lost next week, here is a little taste of the first episode. About a minute in length, but really makes you want to watch. The problem I have with Lost or 24 or any great show is that even with TiVo, I get really far behind in television watching so now what I do is just wait until the season ends and then get all the episodes on NetFlix and watch them all in one weekend. So, then I watch this preview and I start to break down and convince myself that I do have time to watch and that I will keep up, and then in four weeks have let myself down. Kind of like my New Year's resolutions. I have kept one though. I have eaten something really bad for me at least twice daily. The reason for that one is so I feel good about myself for keeping at least one resolution. It also happens to be the one I keep almost every year. The only time I didn't was when I was in the hospital and they wouldn't let me eat stuff that was bad for me. So I had people bring it in, but it did ruin my streak because I didn't do it everyday.
It has been a pretty eventful year for you. You and your longterm boyfriend and major pot connection broke up. You were spotted smoking pot by the paps a couple of times. Your sister went to rehab a couple of times, and then to round out the year you got arrested for a crazy amount of things. In between you managed to star in a couple movies no one will ever see, and realized you are going to have to strip and do sex scenes to get work. That is a pretty full year. Not a great year, but definitely full. In fact it really even wasn't close to great. It kind of seems like everyone from the OC is doing better than you. I know you thought you were the main reason everyone watched, and that you couldn't wait to leave, but I bet you miss the nice fat weekly paycheck more than you think huh. Network television pays a hell of a lot more than showing your boobs in some indie flick. Rachel Bilson got GQ, and you got Maxim. Next year she will be on the cover of Vanity Fair and you will be on the 976 Directory.
I saw that you turned 22 today. Honestly I had to check the numbers in four different places because I honestly thought you were nearing 30. Yes, you really do look that old, and you have lived a very hard 22 years. At this rate you should look like Dina Lohan in the next two years.
I feel that over the past month we have grown especially close. You might not feel that way, but I do. The Maxim with you on the cover has been staring at me, mocking me would be a better word for the better part of a month. I'm tired of looking at you quite honestly. Then the news that hit me this week made me almost want to start crying. See, you don't know it yet, but sometime in the next month or two I just found out that I will be forced to be with you for a few days. What that means is that I will probably end up getting to know you and be unable to rip into you for awhile. That really makes me sad.
You were going to be my go to girl for the whole year. With everyone tired of Britney and Paris, and Lindsay managing to keep out of the pokey for now, you were my girl. You were the one I was going to turn into my foil, and now it just might not be possible. Guess it will have to be another year of me vs Denise Richards. Eventually though Denise is going to hunt me down and kill me though. I really didn't have that to fear from you because you told the cops you don't normally drive while in the US, and it is pretty tough to stalk someone and hunt them down if you are taking a taxi. I know. I've tried.
Have a great birthday, and watch out for those funny brownies.
When I think of the world's great fashion designers, Kirsten Dunst is not a name that pops into my head. In fact, most of what Kirsten Dunst wears looks like rejects from a garage sale. You know the stuff I'm talking about. You have had three or four garage sales and no matter how low you make the price on something, people just never seem interested in it. So, eventually you just throw it in the trash. Those clothes are the clothes Kirsten usually wears.
In an idea that was probably spawned by excessive drinking, Kirsten Dunst is designing her own knitwear range of clothes that will make their debut during NY Fashion Week in February. Kirsten is even getting one of the prime days, times and locations to debut her collection.
So, if you want clothes that reek of booze and cigarette smoke, and have bleached blonde hair stuck in all the knitting, then you should be the very first in line and hopefully you will be the only one in line.
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
While looking through all the blind items last night to see if any were of Heath. Still looking. I did find some that I had forgotten about and that can be revealed. I will do a little mini reveal on Friday and will even reveal the Kindness from earlier this week, so make your final guesses on that.
Now back to the lesbians. When I was interrupted by the Kindness of our lovely actress on Monday I was about to tell everyone about the celebrity lesbian couple. If you can't handle kinky, then you better close your eyes right now and either ignore this, or perhaps have someone read it to you in very small doses. As with any couple, there are two people. In this case, there is an actress and a non-actress. Could be a celebrity, could be not, but is definitely not currently an actress. Anyway, the non-actress of our couple has a serious need for kink. The way this need is met is by bringing a man into the bedroom every so often. Not frequently. A few times a year at most. The non-actress enjoys being forced to be with men and do things that she would normally never do or think about doing with a man, or anyone actually. Our actress is in charge during each of these sessions and enjoys it thoroughly. She enjoys being in charge and making the non-actress as uncomfortable and as miserable as possible because it doesn't happen often in or out of the bedroom. The more misery the better as far as the non-actress is concerned. One sure way to see when one of these sessions has happened is a very long vacation for the couple almost immediately thereafter.
I really have to stop saving these things alphabetically because then this combination of Aubrey O'Day and Lydia Hearst get on top. This is not Aubrey's first time with a socialite, although one wonders if she enjoyed her time spent with Lydia and Cisco Adler later in the evening.
This is how I like Amy Winehouse to look. She can be a cracked out junkie, but at least when she has the black wig she doesn't look as much like the stereotypical crackwhore. To be this dressed up she must have been going to see her dad. She always dresses nicely for her dad, but still gives him a little taste of bra and cleavage. I've always wondered why she does that. No hints or anything, just wonder why.
Josh Brolin and Diane Lane look incredible together. He looks about ten years younger when he shaves.
Charlize Theron and her co-star Anna Sophia Robb who from what I can gather is about 4'8". They both look great though. I am going to have to seriously brush my teeth after all of this. Cavities are forming from all the sugary niceness. I need just a little snark.
Tough to get snarky with Colin Hanks. Plus he brought his step-mom to the premiere. She actually got more photos taken than he did.
Ahhhh. Cisco Adler. Do you really think that Smart Water is going to make Cisco Adler smarter?
I know some of you have been wanting to see lots more of Nick Stahl so here you go.
Even Meg Ryan looks as good as Meg Ryan can look without lots of airbrushing and 20 years in a time machine. I'm trying but it is hard to be so nice.
I think we have to decide one of two things about Gwen Stefani. She is either pregnant or she got a boob job. She has gone from like an A- to a C in about a month. So unless she started breastfeeding her son again or put on a padded bra for the first time in her life, we are stuck with one of those options. Since I wrote she was pregnant a couple of months ago and don't see why Gavin would have any need for larger breasts, I'm going with the pregnant thing.
Felicity Huffman makes up for the after gym fiasco. She looks great and doesn't even have Sundance hair.
This is one of the worst photos of Dita von Teese I have seen, and Victoria Beckham doesn't look that great either. Dita looks old and Victoria looks hungover.
So what do you think the paps were asking Tom Brady after spending the night with Giselle Bundchen? Do you think they could have been styled after a sports interview?
"How did you feel going in Tom?
"You know, I felt good. I gave it my best effort."
I hope Tyra Banks has a taste tester or gave her staff their bonuses finally because otherwise, what she is drinking is probably in no way related chemically to what she thinks it is.
"Duuuh. The wife said we had to go out, so I'm here."
Rita Wilson starting to go more and more for that Diane Keaton look. Granted it's not the wacky, I close my eyes and wear what I grab look of Diane Keaton, but it is getting there.
I don't think I have ever seen a celebrity with this many shopping bags. You and I and regular folks have this many bags, but celebrities tend to go to the store everyday so they get their photo taken more often. I actually think Rachel Bilson did actual, real grocery shopping. I don't know if she plans on eating all this food, or if MTV Cribs is coming by and so it is for show, but she did actual grocery shopping. I am in shock honestly.