Sacramento Kings Cheerleader Scandal

These photos seem to be causing an uproar in Sacramento. I think they are pretty tame although I am sure the Sacramento Kings organization is not particularly fond of seeing their cheerleaders drinking alcohol while wearing the team jerseys. I believe the owners of The Palms hotel in Las Vegas are also the owners of the Kings which could help explain why the women resemble casino hookers more than actual NBA cheerleaders. You would also think that the owners of an NBA team could find some cheerleaders that were a little better in the looks department. Not exactly Playboy material, but rather more of the Hustler variety. Anyway, it seems like the good photo scandals always happen on the weekend, which is not really a bad thing except it interrupts my 48 hour binges.

Full Frontal Friday

So, today there is a little James Purefoy to get your imagination started. Of course there are plenty of others as well. If you need a little boost, before you get to the real deal, you can always click here to see some photos of Jack from Project Runway. Not full frontal, but not much is left to the imagination. You have to scroll down a bit to see him, but your scrolling should be fun if you know what I mean. To see all the full frontal action for everyone else, you can click here.

As always these photos are NSFW. If you are under the age of 18, you really should not even think about clicking. Seriously, once you start down this path, you just need more and more to get your fix. The next thing you know you are pulling a Bai Ling and stealing a copy of Penthouse or something from Borders. Do they sell Penthouse at Borders? I don't know anymore because frankly I just get my porn from the internet. Hell, if I was under 18 and had access to the internet I would probably be looking at it too. I do know though there is much better porn you could be looking at, so go pretend to be an adult somewhere else.

The Real Dakota Fanning Bald Head Story

I think in Random Photos the other day I made a quick mention about Abigail Breslin having to shave her head for her new role. The reason I didn't do a post is I honestly don't care about Dakota Fanning or whether she wants to shave her head for a role. Until now.

Although Dakota looks kind of funny for not taking the role considering she had no problems with the whole molestation theme in one of her films. Here is how it all went down.

The film is My Sister's Keeper which is based on a 2004 novel of the same name about a sister who sues her parents to stop them from using her as a genetic guinea pig for her sister who has leukemia.

In preparation for the role, Dakota went to a hospital with the director Nick Cassavetes to see child cancer patients. In a room filled with patients, Dakota in a very loud voice said something along the lines of, "there is no way I will ever shave my head and look like these kids." Every kid in the room heard what she said. Since that day Nick Cassavetes can almost always be seen wearing a shirt that says FDF. The DF stands for Dakota Fanning. I will let you guess what the other F stands for.

Four For Friday

#1 This B- list film actress is someone you may have never heard of but you have heard of most of the movies she has been in. From Academy Award winners (at least 3) to huge summer blockbusters. She recently broke up with her boyfriend not because they had grown apart but because she found a tape of him at a rap video servicing one woman after another with a bunch of the other guys on the set.

#2 This C list film and television actress by body of work but with A+ name recognition likes to have the world believe she is Ms. Happy Wife and mother. Then why has her husband been living in a hotel the past 3 months since he left her.

#3 This B list married couple who are known for television and really bad made for tv movies belong to an exclusive, web cam swingers group where they perform for other couples in the nude.

#4 This greasy celebutard is trying to sell a sex tape of himself with two different celebutantes. No takers so far thank goodness.

Random Photos Part One

Hmmmm. Valentine's Day and you have a brand new boyfriend but for some reason you are spending the most romantic (according to Hallmark) night of the year with your parents. What do you have to say about that Hayden Panettiere?
Eric Bana in Berlin. I just mention Berlin in case it gets you more in the mood then say Eric Bana over at the Arclight on Sunset.
Dianne Reeves - Apollo Theatre - New York City
I think Alexander Klaws is telling us that he might come up a bit short if I were to put him in FFF. Not Javier Bardem short probably, but short.
America Ferrera looks really good here and it is a nice change because honestly she hasn't looked all that great lately. Here she looks fabulous.
It's Rudy Huxtable. I bet you never though Rudy would turn into this did you?
There is something about this photo of John Mayer that makes me think of old 60's British music photos. Maybe the side profile or the smaller door. It is a really good photo.
Wow. Janet Jackson needs to remember to leave time in her schedule to put on the wig. Please. Oh God, make it stop.
Need something to listen to this weekend? Go buy Idina Menzel's new CD. If you do maybe I will show her husband later in the photos.
I love Holly Robinson Peete. She is funny, sweet, and really gorgeous.
Hey Nick Lachey. How is that career going? "It's doing great EL. Hell this week, I am at a Hot Wheels anniversary celebration."
If I took up skating this weekend, I should be able to do this by the end of the month right? I mean it isn't like Mirai Nagasu is that great right? Anyone can do it.
The only reason I am posting the photo of Miley Cyrus is because I like reading the comments of her fans and because I have no idea why on earth she is going to be a presenter at the Academy Awards. The only film she has ever been in is just a tape of her concert. If the Academy thinks a bunch of 10 year old kids are going to sit through the show and boost your ratings, you must have never heard of YouTube.
Did Canadian yesterday so today Australian. This is Les Hill. He looks all happy because he had to take his girlfriend to a cage fight.
Do you think maybe 16 hour days of partying may have led to the unplanned pregnancy of Lily Allen? Just asking.
Happy Birthday Rob Thomas. Next time tell your wife to get you a cake that doesn't look like a big pile of tuna fish.
Robin Givens might be laughing, but you know she is just one broken fingernail away from killing you.
Rick Fox in case you have a thing for retired athletes and all the groupies they have f**ked.
The made me laugh photo of the day goes to Ross Anthony at the Echo Awards in Berlin.

How do you tell them apart when only one Mowry twin shows up at an event?
In case you wanted your loving with a little grey hair. Actually Ted Danson looks pretty good doesn't he? What is he now? 80, 90?
So here is Taye Diggs since I know you are going to go buy Idina's CD this weekend.
How could you ever date Sydney Poitier. You would always be saying, no not the guy.
So Natalie calls Scarlett an evil bitch, and then Scarlett says, "Yea, but I'm f**king Ryan Reynolds."

I Love When I Get To Smack Tyra

There are few things on this earth I enjoy more than smacking down Tyra Banks. The reason is that she never just does anything half assed. When Tyra screws up, she screws up good and when she is a bitch, she is the biggest bitch on the planet.

I will have to say though that even for Tyra, this is world class. She can go the rest of her career and I doubt she could ever come off more heartless than this. She can try and try but this is the cream at the top baby.

Last year Tyra had a makeover show for people who had suffered in their life. Until now they couldn't speak about their experience on Tyra's show because the participants have to sign a gag order which lasts for one year from the date of their appearance on the show. The following accounts are from this week's Enquirer.

Woman #1 -
Jodi Hughes is a 39 year old woman. She has cervical cancer and lupus and is raising her two children, one of whom is legally blind on her own. Well, Jodi was thrilled that Tyra wanted to do a makeover of her and Tyra flew Jodi and her two kids out to the show.

Jodi says things went bad the minute they stepped off the plane in Los Angeles to tape the show. "Jordan, 17, and Nick, 10 - who is legally blind - were left sitting on a curb outside the studio lot for hours with no food, no phone and no money while Jodi underwent her “transformation” - which included nothing more than the services of a professional makeup artist, a new dress and a cheap, painful hair weave, she says. Tyra’s producers scripted her lines for the show, Jodi says. “The producers told me to say: “Thank you, Tyra, for making me feel like a woman again.’ That was the most humiliating part.”

Actually I think the most humiliating part might have been the fact that Jodi had spent months regrowing her hair after chemo and the weave destroyed it all. The weave also infected her scalp and necessitated an emergency room visit.

Woman #2

On the same show was a woman who had no arms. Instead of getting the woman something useful like artificial limbs, Tyra instead got the woman a $500 purse. Great, she can carry the purse around with her teeth. Instead of realizing what idiots they were, the producers of the show told the woman she should be grateful that someone would give her a $500 purse. Hell you know Tyra probably got it the night before at some swag suite and said to herself this would be perfect for a guest. "It is a little scratched. Hell, I will give it to the woman with no arms. She can always sell it on E-Bay if she doesn't want to look like a little dog with it in her mouth."

Rich Actors Don't Want To Strike

Now that the WGA strike has ended, the focus shifts to SAG and their contract which expires on June 30th. Apparently Tom Hanks, Robert DeNiro and George Clooney speak for all of the actors, or at least the rich ones because they have taken out full page ads which are trying to drum up support for not going on strike on June 30th.

See, to the rich actors it doesn't really matter if they strike or not, because they have a dollar or two tucked away to save for a rainy day and probably can hold out just fine. It also doesn't matter what happens in the new contract because they will just get what they have always got in the first place. The SAG contract has never been about the big actors. It has always been about the epople who are acting and trying to survive.

SAG sets minimums and basic conditions that must be met on sets, and making sure some money goes into retirement and pension. The SAG contract is the floor. How often do you think Tom and George and Robert have been on the floor? The only time they ever take scale is if they are getting a huge chunk of the gross in the film. To them, SAG is more of an annoyance than anything.

To most of the 120,000 people in the union it represents health care at an affordable cost, a pension when they don't make enough to contribute to an IRA, and a wage which if they can find the work will at least let them live until they can find another job.

Obviously Tom and the gang could call Doug Allen who is the executive director of SAG, and so the ad is designed to appeal to the other members and to show the producers that they should not have any hard feelings against A listers.

In response to the advertisements, Doug said, the union would open negotiations "at a time that will most benefit all our members". He might as well have added, but didn't, "not just the rich ones."

Daily Mirror Blind Item

Which American actress is so incredibly stupid, she has to have two faffing assistants around her at all times - to remind her where she is and who she's talking to?

When It Comes To Marion Cotillard - Picturehouse Goes Cheap

Picturehouse must have learned some lessons from Vince Vaughn on how to go cheap. Oh, not with their own self promotion or anything to do with how the company itself looks. On that they go all out. Now, if you happen to be an actor or actress though, then they want to go as cheap as possible as often as possible even if it makes you look like crap.

Picturehouse is the partnership of HBO and NewLine that is responsible for La Vie En Rose. They are making a ton of money off the film, but apparently have no desire to accommodate any of the wishes of the lead actress of that film Marion Cotillard. For the entire promotion of the film, and during the entire award season, Marion has been paying for her one hair person and one makeup person to travel with her to make sure she looks good. It is not out of vanity, but because she has been making multiple appearances daily and has been to multiple award shows in support of the Picturehouse film. Although it is really expensive, Picturehouse has not offered to pay even one penny of the bill despite the fact she is out there shilling for them.

Well, when it comes to the Academy Awards, she finally broke down and asked the company if they would pay for the two to come over to the US, and put them up in a hotel. The company laughed at her and said, "Everyone in LA is better than anyone in France who does hair and makeup so you can just use someone here."

Nice way to make friends and influence people. This is the same person who won the BAFTA and the Golden Globe for Best Actress you are pissing off here. Marion from what I understood just started crying and is going to borrow the money from friends to pay for the two to come over to the US and do her hair and makeup.

To me this is not about diva behavior, this is about a woman who is probably going to win the award for Best Actress and be looked at by over 1 Billion people across the globe. In that kind of situation are you going to get your hair and makeup done by some person down at Supercuts that you have never met?

Meanwhile, Picturehouse keeps running those full page ads at a cost of well in excess what it would cost for them to fly over the pair and put them up in a hotel for the week.

Picturehouse needs to stop being cheap and Marion needs to find an agent or manager who has some balls and who is not afraid of a studio.

So I Went To Bai Ling's Blog

After reading today about how Bai Ling blamed her whole shoplifting episode on a bad breakup, I wanted to read the quote for myself because she goes through guys a little more quickly than the average person. OK, a lot more quickly than the average person. So, to me that excuse was just crap and she was just trying to get attention like I said yesterday.

Anyway, on her blog, she has deleted any of the references to a bad breakup, but it has been awhile since I had read it and I forgot how much she actually posts. She probably blogs more than just about any celebrity, and it is worth a look when you get the chance. Here is what she wrote late last night.

Here I am in Albuquerque with my heart feeling sad, and my emotions are running through me like a wild river, tears come from the lake of my heart hurt my eyes. Life happens to you either you liked it or not, sometimes I feel you have to be so brave to stand in front of the World, and just hope that people will have a tender heart toward you. Right now I just walked from the set to My trailer, cold, but the evening brightness on the sky is just so beautiful in Albuquerque, so beautiful, it takes my breath away like a bralliant lover, nature is my gift, no matter what happens it always there to confort me give me wisdom and love, how lucky I am to have it and recognise its beauty and power. So beautiful here in Albuquerque, the desert the wild endless land, the stars and the moon so up high there quietly singing a Valentines song. Many many friends called me today but I can not talk because I am shooting, I want to thank all my friends and the people that I don't even know out there cared for me and send me love. Its a gift and I am lucky to have you. Thankful with all my heart to all of you and send my Valentines love smile to you, with my sweet sad heart. Bailing Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

English is not her first language, and honestly she uses English better than most of the American teenagers on MySpace so give her a break on the spelling and such. Anyway, it is a really good blog and does what a blog should. Except for the past few days it doesn't look like she has very many visitors so she could probably use the boost if you all click on it.

Bongo Goes The Whore Route Again

With the exception of Rachel Bilson, the last few spokespeople Bongo has chosen basically make me feel like they are trying to sell cheap sex with a woman of questionable morals. Yesterday in one of the most annoyingly written press releases of all time, Bongo announced that Kim Kardashian would be their new spokesperson, Oh, not Kim Kardashian the sex tape loving queen.

Nope, "The marketing campaign embraces Kim's natural sexiness but adds a touch of innocence and sweetness to the pin up theme. The ads show Kim striking playful poses on a swing and inside an oversized heart." "Kim is not only gorgeous, sexy and confident, but she is also kind and gracious. In a lovely gesture, Kim handwrote thank you notes to the crew after the photo shoot. We are thrilled to have her join the ranks of past Bongo spokeswomen such as Vanessa Minnillo, Nicole Richie and Rachel Bilson."

If I were Rachel Bilson I would have my lawyer write a letter to Bongo and tell them to stop using my name in the same sentence with the other group. Also, I'm not exactly sure that signing an autograph with your phone number and prices is exactly a the handwritten thank you note we are all imagining with that statement. I bet you would also be shocked to know that Kim is now a television star. Oh yes. According to Bongo anyway. Kim is a huge star like she is well on her way to A list. They of course probably said the same about Vanessa and Nicole also.

In the one quote attributed to Kim but most certainly not is this: "This is a fun, young, fresh campaign and I am honored to be a part of it. What I am excited about is how Bongo jeans fit. They hug my curves in all the right places!"

What I'm sure she is honored about is the fact that someone was willing to pay her money to model clothes and she didn't have to sleep with them first.

Conspiracy At American Idol?

Now you know I don't watch the show anymore, and usually don't even care about anyone on it, but I just had to talk a little about this latest little issue. Lyndsey Parker over at Yahoo Music wrote a really great piece last night about one of the Top 24 named Carly Smithson. It really is good and I promise worth your time reading even if you can't stand American Idol.

The premise of Lyndsey's article is that Carly Smithson nee Carly Hennessey is a former teen pop star who despite the backing of MCA and the expenditure of several million dollars could not sell any records and should not be allowed to compete against inexperienced singers.

Lyndsey goes into a great deal of depth about her indignation at this injustice, but what she glosses over is this. Carly Hennessey was supposed to be the next big thing. She was big in Ireland when she and her family decided to come to the US to get a recording contract here in LA. Upon hearing her demo tape, the label boss at MCA signed her on the spot. This was back in 2001. It is inconceivable to me that the people over at 19 Management didn't know exactly who Carly was when she auditioned. Carly was the subject of newspaper articles all over the world at the time her album failed. There was so much money spent on it for so little return that she became the lesson on marketing and how not to market new acts.

I want to be clear that there is no way, despite what everyone thinks that American Idol can be rigged in favor of the show up to a point. What they can do though is to load the show with as many ringers as possible so they don't end up with a Taylor Hicks again.

Instead of spending the money to try and release a new album by Carly Hennessey the Irish failure. They instead remake her into Carly Smithson, put her on American Idol and let the show do the publicity for them and the marketing. Even if she gets voted off tomorrow, she has been given more publicity than she would have ever otherwise received without a huge expenditure of money. The longer she stays, the better for 19 and Jive.

Make no mistake though. They know who she is, who she was, and will sign her to a record deal when the show is over. They can't control if she wins or not, but they sure as hell can control the way that you the viewing public sees her, and the way to make sure each and every person out there remembers who she is so there will be no more multi-million dollar failures when her new album comes out.

Below is a video off the bomb of the record. The video cost $250,000 to make which in 2001 was much more expensive than most videos.

I Just Assumed

Well you know what they say about assuming. I didn't run a full post about Gary Coleman and his new wife, but rather just made some comment that having a wife would finally allow him to get some after a 40 year dry spell. Well, I was wrong. Seems that the woman Gary married has managed to avoid her tiny husband for the few days of their marriage. I guess she told Gary she wasn't the kind of girl to have sex before marriage, so Gary being a horny 40 year old married her. Hell there probably wasn't even a pre-nup. I mean he makes his money by advertising check cashing places, so to him this was a no brainer. The only problem is that his wife also doesn't seem to be the type who has sex after marriage. At least with Gary. Oh, I'm sure if you run into her she will have sex with you no problem, but for some reason she still hasn't found the courage to be loved on by Gary.

In an interview with ET, he alluded to the fact that it might be an issue of his own making, but somehow I doubt that. The former child actor said: "It's my business, it's my issue and I really don't think it's a problem.

"I don't choose to be one (virgin), I just am. I have love in my heart, I have the desire; I just don't know what it is.

"It'll happen when it'll happen, and it'll happen for all the right reasons."

Well Gary I have to tell you that you need to do it soon. Your wife Shannon Price is about as good as you are going to get groupie wise at this stage of your career. After Shannon it is a quick slide down to Michael Jackson's ex or doing Todd Bridges in the back of a car.

Ted C Blind Item

Death-Mint Myrtle is the successful star of small and big screen. But it’s her addicting show, At Home with Hate, that—even though some jealous bitches say is past its prime, à la DMM—it’s really put Deathy back on the glossier maps. Hate is still a ratings force to be reckoned with on prime time, no BS. Now, Death-Mint might be enjoying the spotlight, but she’s still got a slew of secrets up her size-zero sleeves that are slowly slipping out. This actress’ apparently hideous eating habits are getting to be such a prob, not only for her feeble frame but for her fellow coworkers on the hit show.

See, the crew is quite inconvenienced whenever DMM has a scene, since it takes an extralong time to stage the camera angles just so—so that Ms. Myrtle’s obvious dubious health isn’t so noticeable to the naive TV viewer at home. “We have to make it look like she actually has a chest, sometimes,” bitched one totally in the know Hate worker-bee, and he wasn’t talkin’ boobs, honey-pies.

Howev, Myrtle might be battling an unfortunate mastication sitch, along with some unfair double standards. Despite her skinny skeleton, our girl’s handling the aging process quite well—offscreen. But in TV land, normal lifelines don’t fly. Wrinkles and creases in Myrtle’s forehead, due to her wilting frame, are blurred out in postprod of the show, since makeup sure can’t cover every little unwanted bit. The question to ponder is why the show’s producers are even trying so hard, when DMM is always being upstaged by her cuter costars.

Oh, of course, guess they like the tension on camera. What a doofus question. Forget we asked.

Today's Blind Items

#1 Out of the spotlight and out of the country, this B list or maybe C list film and television actress has been back to her old ways. Full of remorse here doesn't necessarily apply overseas as our actress proved by drinking until puking and doing more pot smoking than an entire audience at a Cypress Hill concert. She has been enjoying her freedom so much, she is planning on staying overseas permanently. Yay!

#2 This married, aging C list comedy actor with the B+/A- name recognition has been doing some press for his new film. Maybe his wife should have come along to keep him from running up his credit cards in a sex fueled hooker orgy that he plays out every night on the road.

Random Photos Part One

How about Eduardo Verastegui to start things off? A little Latin spice for your Valentine's Day.
It is always nice to see Kelly Lynch. If I could just get the image of her and Jim Belushi out of my mind that would be nice.
Another 80's fantasy. Justine Bateman.
Now we know what happened to the pink wig that Jamie Spears threw away.
Curly from the Harlem Globetrotters must be about 100. He was on the Gilligan's Island episode and Scooby Doo like thirty years ago.
If one Latin heartthrob was not enough for you, maybe you would like to add just a little touch of Esai Morales.
It is be nice to Mandy Moore month but she is making it very difficult.
Mel Gibson doing his courtroom walk. Not really a perp walk but close enough. Keep expecting him to pull out a gun and blow people away when I look at this photo.
If there is free booze and Maria Conchita Alonso gets an invite she will be there.
Lindsay Lohan must think they are going to make a Fly remake.
Keith Urban - New York City
Ryan Reynolds for the 85th day in a row.
Rick Mercer. Hey, he's Canadian so give him a shot.
I don't really like looking at Rose McGowan, but when she tries to pull off the "innocent" look it just doesn't work.
Nelly Furtado pregnant? Do we even care?
Remember Nelly. It is just a cake.

Blind Item Reveals - Kindness

February 6, 2008

Wow a kindness at Fashion Week. B list actress who does television most of the time. She might actually be C list but she has a fairly unique look and had one show which gives her staying power for a little longer. Plus one very memorable episode on a great show. Didn't actually happen at a show so I will save you the time of wading through all the actual shows. This was a party. Happened in the restroom. Our actress was standing at the sink with another woman and chatting with her. The woman said she was leaving on an international flight and was already running late. The woman left. A minute or two went by and as our actress was leaving she saw a purse on the sink. She knew from her chatting that it belonged to the woman she had been chatting with. She grabbed the purse and made her way back into the party. The place was packed and she couldn't see the woman. She remembered that the woman was leaving to go catch a plane and so went outside to look. All of the cabs were about a block away all lined up and she saw the woman about two people back from getting into a taxi. Our actress took off down the street. After about three steps one of her heels broke and she went tumbling down onto the pavement in her designer dress. She took off the other heel and went running down the street yelling the entire time. If this were a movie she would have only caught the woman at the airport or something, but the reality is that everyone waiting for a taxi looked up including the owner and she actually realized at that moment she had forgotten her purse and headed back to the actress. Our actress had a ripped dress, no shoes, and a scraped hand but delivered the purse to the woman. The woman was extremely grateful and said the flight could wait, and that she wanted to make sure our actress was ok. They took a cab back to the party where the woman made sure our actress got her hand looked at by someone and made sure she got back with her friends okay as well. The woman offered to pay for new heels or dress, but our actress declined.

Alicia Witt

Valentine's Day Love Predictions

Joel Madden and Nicole Richie. My success story from last year will probably be my downfall this year, but I just don't see them together next year at this time. Of course now that I say that she will probably go get knocked up again. I think her whining and selfishness will get to Joel and she will want to go out all the time. Over.

Tony Romo and Jessica Simpson. This will last about as long as her movie career. No chance they will be together next year at this time.

No chance that Milo and Hayden will be together next year at this time.

Ryan Reynolds and Scarlett Johansson. This is a tough one. The guy just got out of a really long relationship, and she is a relationship hopper. Despite what he has said in the press for his new film, I don't think he really likes kids and his last relationship was with someone who also doesn't much like kids. So, if Scarlett gets pregnant, it would be an accident. This is a tough one, but I say not together.

Hilary Duff and Mike Comrie. Hell they might be married by next year. He has Hilary reading about hockey and she has him buying her $100,000 cars on an NHL salary. Hell yes they will be together.

Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel. Are they even together now? No way together next year at this time. He might be a sperm donor for her or something, but they won't be a couple.

Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal. I don't think they are a real couple now which is why this is tough. If you don't want to date anyone it is kind of nice to have a friend who will be there for you. I don't think they will be together next year at this time, but it is also the one I am least confident about.

Javier Bardem knows it will be tough to find anyone better than Penelope Cruz. They speak the same language and he has a shrinkage problem so this one will last. They will be together next year.

Drew Barrymore and Justin Long. Would you stay with a guy who kissed like that? So over by next year.

I am going to go out on a limb with this one. Not only will George Clooney and Sarah Larson still be together, but she will be wearing an engagement ring. Yep. Georgie is getting old and now is the time.

Valentine's Day - A Look Back - Last Year

Read what I wrote about the following four couples last year right here.

I got this one right.

I got this one right by the hair of my chinny chin chin.
I got this one right.
I got this one right, but if anyone can stay longer with Teri longer than a year, they are probably deaf and mute so this one wasn't hard to predict. Plus the guy was a jerk.

Here is what I wrote last year. I said last year they would still be together this year, but I thought of them more as friends with benefits rather than a couple so I don't know if that counts or not.

Nick Lachey and Vanessa Lemon Jello. Here is what I wrote. I said there was a 20% chance they would be together. I was right, but that is a lame ass cop out, so we will just say I was wrong.

Here is what I wrote last year about Jessica Simpson and John Mayer last year. Said they would not be together, and I was right. This is the one where I actually like my analysis and the reasons behind my predictions.

This is what I wrote last year about Jim Carrey and Jenny McCarthy. I said they would be a couple at this point and not be married. I'm not sure Jim Carrey will ever get married again though so that might not be that big of a stretch.

Here is what I wrote last year. So I got this one totally wrong. I thought they would be done, but again that came from first hand information and I am really good at reading people, and so this is the one that pisses me off the most about being wrong.

I said last year that Howard Stern and Beth Ostrosky would be together for a very long time and would not be married. This isn't that much of a stretch.

Do They Give Happy Endings With A Detox?

David Hasselhoff spent the night in the detox center at Cedars again last week. By my count it is at least the fourth or fifth time that there has been a public acknowledgment that he needed medical help after a binge drinking episode. I think it is great and all that he is going to a hospital to get treated in their detox center, but it seems to me he is using their facilities much the same way someone else would use a steam room or a spa.

The Hoff goes out and goes on a 2 day bender to the point of near poisoning and then checks himself into Cedars where they bring him back to life and send him on his way. What that doesn't do is address the issues of why he keeps doing this and the possibility that maybe something needs to be done to prevent this from happening every three to four weeks. It's like he has to pay the ex once a month and that acts as a trigger and he gets hammered. The Hoff's liver must look atrocious and I for one don't want to see him on a liver waiting list down the road. We all know he is going to need one and because of who he is and how much money he has, he will slip to the front of the line. I don't think that if you drink yourself to death that you should be allowed another liver when there are other more needy or worthy people waiting. No, I am not a judgment passer, but if a guy got drunk at a bar, crashed his car into a pole and lost an eye, would you be willing to let him have a new eye and the kid behind him in line has to wait longer?

I know Hoff went to rehab over the holidays, but maybe he should think about going back real soon.

Want To Sleep With Janet Jackson?

On her new album, Janet Jackson has quite a few songs about having sex with lots and lots of different people, and so of course interviewers have been asking her if this relates to her real life. I think we all knew even before this that Ms. Jackson was a bit of a freak. Michael likes the little boys and Janet likes the whole swapping and swinger thing as well as multiple partners at once.

If you were with Jermaine Dupri you would be looking at finding someone else almost every night as well. Besides I think he enjoys when she brings over people whether they be male or female.

"I think whatever you're into, as long as you both are into it, it's cool."

I don't think there is really anything that Janet isn't into so this could be a very long list but also allow you as a man or woman to also know that you have a pretty decent shot at Janet Jackson. With all the partners she cruises through, you might eventually get your number called. Hopefully though it won't be Jermaine on the other end of the line.

The World Of WD

Mooshki said...
WD, I'm afraid you'll never make it big in Hollywood because you aren't enough of a narcissist. Being interested in other people is definitely not the "in" thing. ;)

The reason this caught my attention was because you read my mind. I never told you guys my New Year’s resolution. “For the year of 2008, I hereby resolve to be dumber and more self involved.”

Let me explain.

Keep in mind it’s not DUMB it’s dumbER. It’s not SELF INVOLVED it’s MORE self involved.

DUMBER - Based on your comments, and your almost scary detective skills, I have a feeling that we all have this in common. When on a job, any job, there is always someone who doesn’t know how to do their job, while we on the other hand usually do. How often has this happened to you?

Moron “ Umm... How would I _____?”
You “Oh that’s easy. You just ________”
Moron “Gee. Thanks. I’m so glad you know, could you help me with that?”
You (grudgingly) “oh...yeah...sure...”

BLAH! No thank you. Don’t get me wrong, if it’s someone who’s helped you before then please, by all means help them back. If it is someone you like and respect, then you should also help them. But usually it’s neither of those situations. Usually it’s the same person over and over. If it were someone you like and respect, chances are they would have either A) Not taken a job without knowing what they were doing or B) Figured it out themselves.

So in the cases with the moron. This is how I have been living my life since January 1, and it works great.

Moron “ Umm... How would I _____?”
Girls: Open your eyes really wide. Pitch your voice up and twirl your hair around a finger.
Guys: Dull your eyes over, look real confused, like thinking makes your brain start to smoke.

and say:

You “ Gosh, that seems real hard. Lucky you’re so smart and can figure it out!”

It’s the most amazing thing! I’ve been doing it for a month.

“Hey do you know how to budget a film?”
“Hey do you know how to file SAG paperwork?”
“Hey do know how drive a box truck?”

Now some of those I know. Some I don’t know, but could figure out. But I’m not gonna! They say “the more you know, the more you know you don’t know.” So I figure, the less you know the more you think you know. Or if you already know a lot, the more you pretend not to know, the more time you know you have.

MORE SELF INVOLVED- This is where what Mooshki said comes in. I grew up in a household of caregivers. My mom’s a nurse my dad is a doctor. My great aunt lived with us until she died of cancer. I think nothing of asking people the color of the phlegm that they cough up. So yeah, I’m the extreme opposite of self-involved (I do have my moments though). I see actresses on set totally oblivious to the rest of the crew. They don’t even know the name of the guy bringing them water. I don’t want to be that. I also see these girls audition and they are so oblivious to the other girls in the room, so oblivious to the bad mood of the casting director, so oblivious to the fact that they have very little talent that they book the job. It is incredibly frustrating.

Where as, while waiting to audition, I see a girl come in who’s perfect for the part. I sense the casting directors bad mood and want to get out of there faster so their day isn’t as long. And while I know I’m a good actress, I also know that I can always be better. Once I get on set, I ROCK but auditioning. Blah. So if I were more self involved...that whole process would be better.

Here’s the thing where both of those things backfire. Because I know more than a typical actor (stunts, producing, directing) and because I am not self involved, once someone works with me, they always work with me again. And vice versa. If I meet someone who is cool, smart and hard working I always work with them again. When I am in a position to hire people, there are a number of people, women and men, who I will always use. When I coordinate I hire people to do stunts that I know I can count on. And when the tables are turned and they are hiring, I know I’ll get a call. It’s a family. We see each other at premiere after premiere and have lots of credits in common.

There is one particular woman I hire a lot. She is the complete physical opposite of me which makes us not competitive. And makes us great team stunt wise because between the two of us, we can double any girl. She’s smart. A writer. Amazing stunt girl. Great actress. I’d tell you who she is but we have so many credits in common you’d figure it all out right away.

But my point is, if I follow my New Years resolution, would I have these relationships?

Maybe the idea is to reflect the person you are dealing with. Dumb meet dumbER Smart meet smart.Thoughtful meet thoughtful. Self absorbed meet MORE self absorbed.

Do think it’s possible to have a happy medium?

Jamie Lynn Spears Sleeps Around And Drinks Alone

According to the new issue of Star, which is why Bai Ling may have been trying to take multiple copies, Jamie Lynn Spears is a bit of a slut. Star went to Kentwood to dig up dirt on the 16 year old. They came up with one girl who said she knows for a fact that Jamie has slept with people before and after Casey Aldridge. Another source said that Jamie was at a party two days before she announced publicly that she was pregnant and hooked up with a guy by saying that he didn't have to use a condom if he wanted to sleep with her because she was already pregnant.

The one thing Jamie Lynn never did in public apparently, was drink. She only drinks with friends, and in private, and often she just drinks alone. “Some people drink to have a good time,” the insider said. “But she drank to get wrecked. She drank to get messed up and forget about her mother, her sister and all of that.”

On a side note to all of this. Mom and dad are here in LA with the big breadwinner and basket case, and who the hell is home with the 16 year old pregnant girl? Hello? Anyone home? Could mom maybe stay back in Louisiana with the knocked up teenager and maybe leave the shopping with Britney and spending loads of cash to some other member of the family? Have you missed spending her money that much that you have abandoned your 16 year old teenager? Could this be why maybe she got knocked up in the first place? Because you weren't paying attention to who she was seeing and when and where?

Daily Mirror Blind Item

Which clean-cut former child star is in fact a secret caner? The celeb in question only goes to showbiz events to siphon up all the free booze.

Indiana Jones Trailer

In case you were curious about what the new Indiana Jones film is going to look like, here is the trailer. It looks good, but honestly with Spielberg and Lucas involved, any trailer is going to look good. They could have made people stand in line to go see that Hottie and Nottie thing people are calling a film.

Kathleen Turner Apologizes To The Whiner -- But...

Kathleen Turner did a classy thing yesterday. In between her book appearances and whatever she does to maintain her loopiness, Kathleen issued an apology to Mr. Whiny Pants, Nicolas Cage. You know, Nic has certainly become more wussified since he got remarried and his National Treasure thing took off. If he had tried to pull this whiny crap off when he was with Lisa Marie Presley or Patricia Arquette they would have kicked his balding, vampire self back to wherever the hell he came from. Now that he actually made $2 in a film that would have probably made even more money if he wasn't in it, he thinks all of a sudden he is the greatest actor living. I think you could have put newlywed and newly not a virgin Gary Coleman in that film as the star and it would have made money, so Nic shouldn't be taking bows just yet.

Anyway, Kathleen said, "I guess what I can say is I'm truly sorry if I caused distress or harm, because one thing is for sure - I never, ever intended to do that.

"This is what I remember, these are my thoughts and (they were) certainly not intended to damage anyone else".

You have to love her. She probably was smiling inside when she said this. She says she is sorry, but she never says they aren't true. What she is really saying is that if this little incident that happened 20 years ago which no one even cares about is causing you stress, then she's sorry, but
that you need to grow a pair because it is the truth.

Kathleen, if you ever want to get loopy with someone you give me a call, and we will get loopy. I will even let you reenact some of those scenes from Body Heat with me, or that other one where you play the hooker with the secret life.

DNfromMN - Movie Review - Jumper

JUMPER

Release Date 2/14/08

The Story: Dave Rice (Hayden Christensen) discovers that he’s a jumper, who can create and travel through wormholes to anywhere he desires—including bank vaults. The ultimate thing he desires is Millie (Rachel Bilson), the girl he left back home in Michigan. The problem is, when you steal money, someone’s bound to track you down. Enter Raymond (Samuel L Jackson), the paladin, who has lots of electronic toys at his disposal, but prefers a knife shrouded in a dirty old rag. Griffin (Jamie Bell, 10 years beyond Billy Elliot) is another jumper, who is Dave’s reluctant Obi-Wan Kenobi. That’s the first 20 minutes.

Action movies are released in the summer in America. That’s just the way it’s been – people are overheating, they don’t want to think, students have a lot of free time, it’s a good time of year to release an action movie. Why would you release an action movie in February? Because it’ll get stomped on in the summer, because it’s not all that action packed. Watch the trailer, you’ll see most (I’ll argue 75%) of the movie’s action in those 3 minutes.

You know all that great chemistry that Hayden and Rachel have on their lunch and shopping dates that we see in photos all the time? Oh, you never noticed it? Me either. Guess what? They have no chemistry on screen either. Director Doug Liman must have been tearing his hair out, and I think he probably gave up on the movie once they were cast (which in a quick google search tells me: whoops, they weren’t the first choices).

Liman’s an interesting guy, he directed Swingers and Go! and stepped things up with The Bourne Identity and Mr. & Mrs. Smith. On every movie since Go!, he’s had problems with going over budget and not wanting to let go. With Jumper, I think he lost editing privileges with his shenanigans. Other than a 15 minute intro with teenaged versions of the characters (done with completely different actors for reasons beyond me since Bilson and Hayden look like they’re 15, to me), you don’t know anything about any of the other people until the movie’s almost completely over. Throw in essentially cameos by Diane Lane and Kristen Stewart (who answers a door, and walks into another room… that’s her role, for someone who headlined in 2 movies, and had a featured role in Into the Wild last year), and you’ve got yourself a lot of interesting pieces and an incomplete movie.

There was a smattering of applause at my screening, so this will appeal to some people. Not my people.

It’s mindless entertainment, emphasis on the mindless since you’ll have to suspend a lot of disbelief, and you won’t have a clue what people’s motivations are. (For example: Why does Sam Jackson use a knife? What drives Jamie Bell’s character to do the things he does? Why the heck does Rachel Bilson’s character go on a vacation with someone she hasn’t seen for 8 years under mysterious circumstances?)

What it’s worth: $2.50. Here’s the thing, based on previews, based on Sam Jackson (who really does make a lot of stinkers, but I’ll see almost anything he does anyway), based on Liman: I was going to see this movie anyway. I would’ve doubted all the reviews (just to compare my reaction, I pulled up Rotten Tomatoes – currently at 22% as I write this), and gone anyway. I’m telling you, if you really have a desire to see this movie: cheapy theater/dvd/free passes.

Opening This Weekend (note: most of these are opening on Valentine’s Day)

Jumper – see above

Definitely, Maybe – Ryan Reynolds in a romantic comedy with Abigail Breslin and Rachel Weisz. I like all these people. I like romantic comedies, I’ll probably end up seeing this some point this weekend.

The Spiderwick Chronicles – I like kid’s movies, but I usually see them at the 2nd run theater.

Step Up 2: The Streets – ummm…. Unless the subtitle is referring to Scottish rappers, I don’t expect to see it.

My money will be spent on “Definitely, Maybe” this week. And a special screening of Troma Films’s Poultrygeist on Friday night (currently doing a world tour with individual screenings. http://www.poultrygeistmovie.com/screenings/ for more details), I can enjoy a b-movie when I know ahead of time it’s going to be awful.

I'm Sick Of Giving Natalie Portman A Free Pass

Somewhere along the line before I started blogging I think there must have been some ultra secret meeting between all bloggers called the Portman Convention. At this convention it was decided that nothing bad would ever be written about Natalie Portman and that for all times she would be considered a saint or close to it by the powers that be. I don't know if it is because she is in the Star Wars films and so guys have some kind of weird sci-fi fantasy about her, or the fact that she seems somewhat pure so they consider her good marriage material and thus not subject to schoolboy taunts, or what.

All I know is that you would be very hard pressed to ever find a bad word written about Natalie Portman in any blog, especially one written by a guy. I can't really determine the reason other than the secret blogger meeting. She has one good role to her name in Closer, for which she got nominated for an Academy Award. It was for best supporting actress and that one is a crap shoot anyway. She has also been nominated for two Razzies as well. The only reason she is famous is because of the Star Wars films. She rarely could get work before they came along.

The reason I am harping on her today is because I noticed that she hates doing press, acts as if she is the greatest thing ever bestowed on the world and doesn't seem to have much respect for her fans, but no one ever says anything negative about her ever. Well I am, because someone called me yesterday who had been counting down the days until they got a chance to meet Natalie. Yes, they love her from Star Wars. I mean this guy didn't even go to work because he couldn't concentrate knowing he was going to see her and meet her. Anyway, Natalie has a new line of shoes she is selling that are all vegan. I don't care, but I know it is important to lots of you. Now mind you, this is her line of shoes. This is the launch. This is where she needs to kiss ass so people will spread the word and go buy them.

So my friend had an invitation to the launch and first waited outside for about 45 minutes, and then inside the store waited for about an hour, although only 45 minutes of that wait was on Natalie. Natalie strolled in 45 minutes late. Didn't apologize for being late, and did not smile once for anyone. For the fifteen minutes she was there she stuck close to the sides of her people. After 15 minutes she ducked out even though she was supposed to stay for the entire party. These were her shoes she is trying to sell. Don't make the s**t if you are not going to sell them. Even the diva Mariah traveled across the country to sell her perfume. Mariah went everywhere, and as much as I dislike Mariah, she worked those malls across the country to sell that stuff.

Apparently with everyone quite pissed off, Natalie did make one quick appearance again at the end of the party for about 2 minutes to wave goodbye. Well when her shoe line dies an early death and her financial backers sue the hell out of her for not doing the promotional work that is probably in her contract we will see how diva she acts then.

Why Do You Need Two Star Magazines?

Bai Ling was arrested for shoplifting yesterday afternoon at a gift shop in LAX. Presumably she was doing a little shopping before her flight and realized that being the famous nip slip star she is probably decided that she didn't have to pay for anything. In reality I think our Ms. Ling is a bit of a risk taker and enjoys the thrill of shoplifting. Of course I am not sure, but I would suspect that this is not the first time Bai has shoplifted.

Look at what she was accused of taking when she was nabbed by a store employee who then later did a thorough strip search. 2 Star Magazines and 2 packs of AAA batteries. My guess is that she just did it to see if she could get away with it. I don't know why she would need two Star Magazines. I mean it is a fine magazine and no doubt they will gladly pay for her defense as this is some great advertising for them. "Bai Ling loves our magazine so much she went to jail for it. Now we are going to get her out."

Two of them seems like overkill unless she is in them and enjoys staring at herself for hours on a plane. I think she was just killing time before a flight and decided to have a little fun. She was caught as I said by the store employee who then held her until the police arrived. Because it was a misdemeanor, no mug shot for Bai, but she is due in court on March 5th.

During the 2 hour process at the police station, Bai was crying. Somehow though I don't think this is going to affect her career or that people will really notice.

NY Daily News Blind Item

Which rival young actresses on the same hit show are forced to pose together at PR events, even though they hate each other? One resents the other for having knocked her off her "star of the show" pedestal.

Today's Blind Items

That most recent kindness will be revealed tomorrow as well as some Valentines Day love predictions.


#1 This too old for her anyway actor has been making the most of his separation with this actress girlfriend by enjoying the affections of a more age appropriate brunette. The brunette was wearing a wedding ring and our actor is up to his eyeballs in one he probably wishes he could get out of, but it didn't stop them from spending some time at his place one night, and a hotel two nights later.

#2 This one is really interesting, but I don't know if you will ever be able to get it. Both people involved are foreign actors. One is an actress who is about 16 years old. Definitely a B lister on the European circuit but probably an unknown to many of you. In one of her recent films she and her co-star fell in love. He is closer to A list in Europe, (television and film) but again, here in the States, probably unheard of. No big deal that they fell in love except that he is well over twice her age, married and left his wife for this ingenue. The parents of the actress know, but don't see anything wrong with it and the soon to be ex-wife has also agreed to keep quiet for now. Don't know if it is because of money or because she doesn't want to be known as the wife who got left for a 16 year old. Everyone is keeping this as quiet as possible until our actress reaches 17 which would be more publicly acceptable.

Random Photos Part One

Bon Jovi - New York City
Just in case you don't know what is on her mind, Janice Dickinson brings her own table with her wherever she goes.
I still can't believe that Cash Warren was allowed to breed.
Isla Fisher did just have a baby right? She looks incredible as always.
David Beckham is one of the few people on earth who could pull this look off.
Cypress Hill - Sydney
If you put a brunette wig on Kylie Minogue she would look just like Joan Collins during the Dynasty days.
Keira Knightley looks like one of Mary Poppins' little helpers.
This is Katie Holmes after a meeting where people actually offered to put her in another film. If you just want to throw away $30M, I can think of better ways to put it to use.
I can't believe there was a time I found Kate Hudson sexy. I know she isn't related to Kurt Russell, but she is starting to look like him.
Always willing to post a photo of Jonathon Lipnicki.
I notice that none of you complain when I post Ryan Reynolds photos each and every day.
Mario Lopez hanging out with his constant companion Eva Longoria.
"Is that a dildo or are you just happy to see me?"
I think Madeline already did this look.
I am not usually a fan of short hair, but I actually like Kimberly Stewart's new look. It sets her apart from all the other celebutants.
A real smile from Uma Thurman. Who would have thunk it? I guess London firefighters bring out the best in her.
Some military roleplaying perhaps?
I am guessing that Alec Baldwin will make an appearance on SNL on the 23rd. Actually I would be shocked if he didn't.
The only thing missing from Rachel Weisz's outfit is a bra. It kind of is distracting which is a shame because she has looked kind of fug as of late and this is actually pretty on her.
Pixie Geldof does her duck walk pose. Auditioning for the new Mrs Cruise?

Daily Mirror Blind Item

Which girl group star, and occasional lads' mag fave is more in tune with the ladies... but has, so far, only come out of the closet to her losest friends and family?


**I went ahead and pasted it exactly as written, so the "losest" is theirs, not mine.**

On The Way To The Daily Mirror Blind Item

So, I am cruising through the Daily Mirror website to see if they have a blind item today. They didn't yesterday which sucks, but whatever they have today is bound to be better than the NY Daily News one I posted earlier. Sorry about that, but hey, it is a tradition. Besides I have had lots of crap ones also. Anyway, on the Mirror site and I saw this headline.

Spurned lover sent ex 10,783 text messages in just 65 days

Well I have to read that because I love stalking stories. They really are the best. That would be a great website and a place for future serial killers to meet. Anyway, you can read the whole article here, but here is the gist. So the girl in our story is the stalker. She and her boyfriend (the stalkee) broke up. Within a day or two after the break up our woman was pregnant by another guy, but she thought it was the ex who got her pregnant.

She sent him explicit pictures and videos of herself and a testing kit showing a positive reading. She even left a bottle of urine on his doorstep so he could do his own test. She threatened to hurt herself and sent him bloodstained glass she used to slit her wrists.

There is much more, but the thing that made me stop and read the story were the text messages. Do the math. It works out to about 166 text messages a day, and about 7 per hour. In other words to do what she did you would have to text someone on average every 8 minutes for the entire 65 day period. Now, we know she is nuts, and so this other guy she actually got pregnant with, must have been getting some messages also. I doubt she totally blew him off or anything. Plus there has to be time for sleep, the harassing phone calls, the trips to his house to put the urine on the doorstep, the trips to the drugstore to get the pregnancy tests, and just time to sit and stare into space and imagining your ex as your own again. I will say it again. I love stalker stories. Harmless ones though. No violence please.

A Reason To Watch SNL This Year

February 23rd will be the first post strike Saturday Night Live and the host will be none other than Tina Fey. It's hard to believe that this is the same woman that had people turning the channel when she originally became one of the anchors on Weekend Update. The reason people were switching channels was her scar. You can't see it on 30 Rock, but it does freak me out a little because it is so big, and long, and you just can't stop staring at it.

She has always been funny as hell, you just had to close your eyes when she came on to enjoy it. Now though with 30 Rock and Mean Girls, people have got to see her with some great makeup covering that scar, and honestly 30 Rock is one of my favorite shows. I just didn't really see her as the neurotic bitch, but she pulls it off well and it plays so well against Alec Baldwin. If you have not seen 30 Rock you need to spend a weekend watching it and catching up.

It is only fitting that the first woman head writer on SNL should also be the first host as they return from a writer's strike and now if they could just get a kick ass musical guest. And I don't want Paul Simon or some other historically relevant figure from the annals of Saturday Night Live. I want someone hot and now and actually singing. The following week Ellen Page is set to host.

Eva Longoria And All Of You Want The Same Thing

I bet you never knew that you and Eva Longoria shared a common interest or goal. Eva, whose film career is about as low as it is possible for one person to go and still be considered a leading actress has an idea of how she can become a leading lady everyone wants to watch. Eva Longoria has instructed her agent to try and get her a role where she can play the love interest to Johnny Depp. Besides being a way that people will actually pay to see her in something, she wants the chance to film a love scene with Johnny Depp.

"I'd probably be too nervous to talk to him because he's so beautiful."

Well she might be too nervous to talk to him, but I'm guessing she would hop up on that bed pretty fast for that love scene. I doubt very much Johnny would ever leave Vanessa. I mean if a guy can love a woman with her teeth, he isn't going anywhere. That is true love. BUT, for the sake of having something to talk about, IF he decided to leave Vanessa and made moves on Eva Longoria would she go for it, or would she stay with Tony Parker? Would Eva give it all up to be the next Mrs. Depp?

My guess is that she would go ahead and f**k Johnny on the side for awhile to make sure he was serious and then drop Tony very, very quickly. What can Tony do for her career? He has money but can't help her become a larger star and feed her ego. With Johnny she could get star power, and much more money than she ever would with Tony. Plus she wouldn't have to go to 30 or 40 basketball games a year and listen to Tony speaking in the fake French accent of his. Yes, I know he is French, but it still sounds fake and he had an American parent so he could have just as easily spoken with a Chicago accent.

Johnny and Eva. That would make lots of you turn to drinking.

Things I Was Going To Write About

It is a really slow day gossip wise. When it is like that it can be a struggle to find something interesting to talk about that is longer than four or five lines long. So, I thought I would use one post to talk about more than one thing. Novel and exciting isn't it?

Siegfried & Roy

The ambiguously gay duo known as Siegfried and Roy will be coming back to the stage and performing for at least one show. The show will take place in Las Vegas sometime within the next year. It has been almost five years since Roy Horn almost died on stage. I have seen their show three or four times and I always thought it was good, but they have never been my favorite magicians in Vegas. I am glad though that Roy is doing better. I mean it is bad enough you have a heart attack on stage during a show, but then the tiger sensing you are down for the count, moves in, and drags you by your neck off the stage. I wonder if the fact that he had a heart attack and was probably more calm is what saved him from dying when the tiger got him.

Jerry Springer is 64

Jerry Springer is 64 today and when his show started in 1991, I don't think anyone thought it would be quite the icon it has become. I seem to recall when he came on the air there was already Sally and Jenny Jones, and Oprah was still doing the same kind of shows, but just starting to wean off of the shock, and moving to her holier than thou persona. With the exception of Oprah, Jerry made the most and did the best by showing people that no matter how miserable your life was or had become, Jerry could find someone you could look down on and make fun of. And the thing is it took him a long time to get all the way down to the bottom. There really was nothing better than just sitting back and relaxing by watching an hour of Jerry. If you have 40 minutes today, you can watch a best of Jerry below. If you have only a few minutes you can watch my favorite "guess what I'm a man episode," which is the second one.

This Just Gets Creepier So You Know I Will Watch

So was anyone else watching E! last night? Did you happen to notice Ryan Seacrest doing an E! news update like this was CNN and the world was going to end if we didn't get a 15 second update on the top two stories of the day according to E!. The stories we would care about the most. In this 15 second span, Ryan mentioned the Britney teaching the kids thing, and then spent the other half of his 15 seconds saying the following. "And Denise Richards will star in a brand new show for E!"

I was almost willing to give him the benefit of the doubt when I finished writing yesterday, but to present the fact that Denise Richards starring in a reality show is one of the top stories of the day is a f**king joke. If you want to promote the show, then make a promo and play it, don't pretend like it is a news story. Second, don't have the guy who is going to make the most money off the show stand up and tell the world that it is a top news story without saying something about the fact that he is going to make a lot of money.

If you were watching a show and a reporter came on and said that so and so company was going to become the world leader in producing widgets without telling you also that they owned stock in that company that would potentially be a violation of the law. If this was a promotion I wouldn't care, but to present it as a news story when you have a piece of the action seems seemly.

Now for the creepy part. I guess Denise figures that having an overly protective semi-creepy dad is the way to make it big in Hollywood today. So, our future Love Boat Cruise Director has decided as part of the show that she will have her dad Irving Richards move in with her during the filming. Why would he move in? "I come with a lot of baggage... He wants to find me a husband... There's gotta be some guys out there... Irv's in charge this time.

"My dad's going to be a big part of the show. [It's about] my father moving into my chaos and he and I helping each other pick up the pieces."

So, dad is the one in charge of finding her a guy. Presumably at some point he will judge their form and make sure that his daughter is satisfied in all aspects of the relationship. What is the deal with having your dad pick out boyfriends? Why is that appealing? Am I the only one who gets creeped out by these dads picking out boyfriends for their celebrity daughters?

If You Are Bored Today

If you saw a headline that said actress involved in a live in 3some, you would honestly think it would be a bit more salacious than the article I just read in the Daily Mail. Oh, they are not teasing at all, it really does exist between Tilda Swinton, her young male lover, and her grandfather type lover who is also the father of her twins. It is just that even with something this sensational, the Daily Mail treats it as if it was quiet time at the library or a BBC report on how to grow your grass greener.

You have a quote like the one below:

The twins, it emerges, were with Swinton and her lover at the Bafta's ceremony, and returned to the family home as a group - including Kopp - on Tuesday afternoon.

They were greeted at the door by Byrne, who helped them with their cases.

The unconventional ménage then retired inside.

Kopp, it seems, is staying over in Scotland for a few days, with the full blessing of Byrne, an eccentrically bewhiskered figure who, aged 67, could almost be cast in the role of grandfather.

Who is - ahem! - occupying which bedroom is a rather tricky question which, for whatever reason, Byrne prefers not to answer.

"I wouldn't encourage you to ask anything like that," he growled.

"It's nobody's business. It's our business. It's nobody in the world's business."

And then they go on with a narrative about the community in which they live and its charming history as well as a traipse through 35 generations of Swinton history. Anyway if you want to read all about her relationship with the two men and how she makes it all work, click here. It is very long. I just never thought a 3some could be so damn boring.

At Least He Will Have Some Cigarette Money

Having trouble deciding what to get for Valentines Day for your loved one who happens to be behind bars? Well wonder no more. Amy Winehouse has found that perfect something for the loved one in prison. It can be used as barter for cigarettes and drugs, and when not being used to protect yourself in a fight makes a handy paperweight for all the fan mail you get from other gold digging husband wannabees. What could it be? A Grammy of course. Amy decided that she wants to give one or two of her awards to her husband Blake because he is such a great part of her success. Huh?

Which part? The part that sets records for the amount of drugs consumed in a 24 hour period? The part that makes you want to cut yourself until you have no more places on your body where you are not bleeding? Maybe he helped on the back up vocals? I have to tell you that I thought she would feel differently about this guy after she got clean. The fact that she doesn't makes me think she will be headed right back down the junkie road when he gets out. If he gets out. By my count he still has two trials to get through, and then a sentence. Unless of course he goes the Pete Doherty route and pulls a train for the judges. Then they would probably let him go tomorrow and pay him some money for the time he was forced to serve in prison.

I think I mentioned before why Amy's record label wanted her to perform. It is because contrary to the great people who read this site, many, if not the majority of Americans at least had probably never heard of Amy Winehouse before the show. Has anyone else been at work this week and heard people singing Rehab like it is a song that just came out? Does it make you want to go up to them and beat them? Do they sing it off key and think they are in the know? Did they brag about how they downloaded the song and us it true that she once used, gasp, drugs?

NY Daily News Blind Item

Which recent mom is already bored with her new accessory? Despite pimping herself out to the celebrity mags as a loving parent, she is constantly finding reasons to leave the baby and "escape."

Congratulations Anna!

This is absolutely amazing. Anna Kosturova is an incredible sportswear designer, and one of the best friends this blog has. If you want to keep spies happy, then you let them have free Anna Kosturova products. In some incredibly exciting news, one of her bikinis is being worn on the cover of the annual Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition. In the past they have had lots of interior shots, and parts of the calendar, but never the cover until now.

To check out this cover, and past covers, you can click here. To check out all of Anna's line, you can click here.

Today's Blind Items

This aging Academy Award winning actor was seen doing shots of tequila with a female who couldn't have been more than 21 and possibly younger. He met her at the bar of his hotel, got her drunk and then took her back to his room. When she started getting sick in his room, he called the concierge, asked to be moved and left her in there to be sick. When told that our actor would be charged for two rooms if she stayed in one room and he was in a separate room, our actor told the staff to give her the equivalent of $20 and send her on her way. Our actor didn't actually provide the $20 either, but made the staff provide her with cab fare home. He also said he would not be responsible for any damage she did when being sick on the bed.

Random Photos Part One - Just Because

Because we like to see fake couples like Hayden Christensen and Rachel Bilson reunite to support each other at the premiere of their new film.
Because when is the last time you saw a photo of Gretchen Mol in a tabloid?
Because little plates on Eun-Hye Park's shoes match the big plates on the dress. Kind of like carpeting matching the drapes if you know what I mean. Her new film Night and Day is really good which is a good thing because the dress...not so much.
Because I know you stay up late and can't sleep with wondering of what Dolph Lundgren is doing or, who is he doing, depending on how far you take your pre-sleep rituals.
Because there aren't enough wonky eyes male actors and you never know when people like Alex Dimitriades will end up famous and we can use this against him, or an episode of FFF.
Because we enjoy watching the slow, inexorable decline of the beauty which once was Lindsay Lohan.
Because there is nothing quite like when Lily Allen hits the bottle.
Because how else could Katharine McPhee make any money in her life without the help of product placements via photos in blogs and magazines?
Because how could we laugh about Jessica Simpson trying to single handedly bring back fashions Bo Derek wore back in the 70's and weren't even popular then.
Because how else could I tell you that despite you not being able to see it, there is actually a slit up the back of this "dress" that Hayden Pannettiere is wearing because she wanted to make sure everyone got an eyeful of what company provides her panties.
Because how else could we see this photo of the lead singer of The Kills which is almost the perfect rock and roll photo.
Because where else would you get to see new photos of Ryan Reynolds on an almost daily basis and be able to comment on the strange lines on his forehead and the fact he still hasn't got engaged you have a shot?
Because where else can you call people like Patrick Dempsey as jackass or wonder if he makes his family speak to him only in Italian once he puts on his bike riding clothes.
Because where else do you see photos of Neil Patrick Harris and Ricki Lake doing a charity reading for the group WET. Yea, I kind of like the name also.
Because where else can you just say to yourself WTF after looking at this photo of Matthew Fox?

NY Post Blind Item

WHICH teenage TV cutie was sharing cocktails with her permissive mom at a fashion party in New York? The mom — who favors short shirts and wears her hair just like her daughter — needs to grow up.

Ryan Seacrest Owns His Own Kneepads

I know that I give Ryan Seacrest crap here on a fairly regular basis, but in reality, I think he does what he does, very well. He basically works about 15 hours a day and he makes a pile of money. One of the ways he makes money is with his production company. The production company is part of what he gets for putting up with Ted Casablanca everyday on E!.

I need to go back and look, but a few months ago I talked about how Ryan Seacrest had Denise Richards on his morning radio show and seemed to be kissing a little ass. He didn't ask any tough questions, but I thought it was because Denise was being Denise and that he was scared of her. She was giving it back to him, and I thought he was afraid. Turns out he was kissing her ass and probably setting her up for the easy shots at him.

That new reality show that Denise Richards went to court for is being produced by Ryan Seacrest's production company. At the time of his "interview" with Denise, this idea must have been in his head or discussions already been held when he was talking to her on the radio show, kissing her ass, and setting her up for easy put downs of him. Why the f**k didn't he mention something about it on the air? Why didn't he say that he was trying to rebuild her reputation all by himself so the two of them could make some money off of her?

This is the official line about her new show. "The actress and single mom is set to star an untitled E! series which will follow her around as she navigates Hollywood, romance and motherhood. The show will give viewers an inside look at what it’s like for Denise to go through these ups and downs while always in the public eye,” said Lisa Berger, Executive Vice President, Original Programming and Series Development for E!, in a statement. “At the core of this series is a resilient single mom who is trying to get her life back on track.”

Look, I told everyone I would be the first person watching her new show. I don't even have a problem with Ryan Seacrest making money off her. He wouldn't be the first guy who exploited her. The problem I have is that he has had her on his show at least once that I know of with probably the intent to make her more marketable for his own production company and his own pockets and not advising that fact to his listeners at the time. I don't listen to him everyday, and I don't listen to his weekly radio countdown show. My guess is though, that when he was setting this all up on his show a few months ago it was supposed to happen then. Then Denise's mom died and so all his sucking up and rehabilitating Denise went out the window. I'm sure if we go back and check, there was probably a flurry of "I love Denise" at the time from Ryan. Plus, Denise didn't have anything to promote except her love of chapstick so there really was no reason for her to be on the show.

One of Ryan's dream jobs has always been Larry King. Well, he certainly has the kneepads and integrity for it.

Here's The Thing About Torchwood

Over the weekend I was watching Gordon Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares, because hey that's what I do on the weekends. After the show was over I couldn't find the remote control and so therefore was forced to watch the next show on which was Graham Norton. Funny as hell. Jon Bon Jovi looked stiff, but it was good. Still unable to get up, Torchwood came on and I started watching it. I only watched the first 15 minutes or so because my fat ass found the remote control for me and the tv turned off. I didn't have the energy to stand up and dig it out of wherever my obesity had pushed it, so there it lay.

I had never seen the show and I have to tell you I am not a sci-fi guy. I watched all of the X-Files episodes, but not until after the film came out. And I didn't watch any of the Robert Patrick ones because it just felt like cheating. So this Torchwood show was about some 1918 time rift that was allowing people to enter the present and I watched up to the point where some 1918 dude was about to get it on with a woman from the present. What is with the BBC and these time traveler shows? Isn't there one where the guy is a cop in the 1970's and is actually from the present? Anyway, later in the weekend when my ass hit the on switch again, (Thanks to Depends and a mini-fridge/microwave combo I don't get up much.) I decided to TiVo the episodes of Torchwood. Later however, I saw an ad for it and the stars appeared to be having some time of gun battle with aliens which I would not be interested in seeing. Is Torchwood X-Files like or is going to be gun battles with creatures? I need to know before my ass sits down in the chair this weekend.

Oh, by the way that new show BBC is going to run called Last Kitchen Standing looks kick ass and can't wait to see it and for the sanitized for your protection American Version with Rachael Ray as host. Actually, if she was hosting it, it would suck, but I know there will be an American version because it looks really good and if there is one thing Americans are good at it, it is stealing British reality television. Oh, and we also make good recliners.

Yet Another Person Says Larry Birkhead Is Gay

I know Larry Birkhead does a fabulous job of going on television and telling the world he isn't gay and that all the stories that allege otherwise are crap, but he is quickly running out of people in the world who think he is straight. The latest person who has said that Larry is gay is the former bodyguard to Anna Nicole Smith. Big Moe who wants to make sure you don't confuse him with Little Moe or eeny miny moe, gave an interview to Access Hollywood yesterday and said,

"Because of how Larry looked, she figured, oh my child would look great. Blonde hair, blue eyes, you know, 'Go great with me and my baby will come out beautiful.'"

"So basically, from what she told you and what you’re telling me is that Anna looked at Larry as a sperm donor to get a really beautiful child?" AH asked.

"That's it," Big Moe said.

According to Big Moe, Larry wasn't the typical guy Anna went for.

"Anybody that's been around Anna, they would know that Larry wouldn't be her type. First of all, she liked men that was wealthy, I mean that's no secret," Big Moe said.

Big Moe also claims Anna told him that due to his "lifestyle" there would be no strings attached.

"What's his lifestyle?" AH asked.

"Well, she told me that, you know, he was a homosexual," Big Moe said. "She knew deep down that he didn't want to be with her."

So maybe there really is a sex tape between Larry B and Howard K. See, I knew that when I ran that photo of Greg Evigan last week it was a sign that they were going to remake the show My Two Dads. See, now that is a reality show.

I am of the opinion that prior to the death of Anna, Larry B didn't really care who knew if he was gay or not. I think the issue only became a concern when he started making money off magazines and interviews which might dry up if he were to suddenly start showing up as the Grand Marshall at Pride Parades around the country.

To Big Moe's credit he also slammed Larry for exploiting the kid in front of the grave last week. I think AH probably led Big Moe into that question to take a swipe at ET who paid for the interview and arranged for the exploitation. Not that AH wouldn't have done the same thing themselves, but since they couldn't get Larry to take their lesser offer, they threw him under the gay bus instead.

When You Dress Like A 30 Year Old You Get F**ked By 30 Year Olds

Yesterday in the Random Photos I posted a photo of Emma Watson and made some kind of comment about how when she tried to look 30 all she was doing was looking like a 17 year old trying to look 30. The reason moms and dads don't let their kids dress up like that is because of who it will attract. Well last night who do you think Emma Watson went home with? It sure as hell wasn't Harry Potter? Nope, it was that rehab inducing singer, Johnny Borrell. That's right. The 27 year old guy who was last publicly seen sticking his frank and beans in the always willing Kirsten Dunst last night left with Emma Watson. This isn't one of those saw them in the corner and they looked like they were in love stories that anyone can make up when two people are in the same room. This isn't they left together as in they both left with 30 other people simultaneously. This is a they left together and shared a cab together.

After Emma had been seen safely home, then our 27 year old went and found some drunk chick, starting groping her, got kicked out of a hotel with her and then took her to his place. Yes, the same place that Emma Watson is going to end up in if someone doesn't step in. Look, if Emma was 21 or 22 I would say let her make her own decisions as I believe in portions of that Reese Witherspoon tough love thing. But, the fact is that she is 17. Yes, that is legal in many states and many countries, but it doesn't make you wise or able to navigate through the lines and moves of a guy who is 27, acts 37 and has probably been with more sexual partners than people Emma knows.

Note To Bullies - Reese Witherspoon Is Hiring

One thing you need to know about Reese Witherspoon is that she is not the person you want to come running to if a bully kicks your ass. This even includes her own kids. In an interview with Good Morning America, Reese said that she wants children to tease her kids and bully them. I am assuming bullying means kicking their ass, but she could just mean stealing their lunch money. Hell, if I was a bully I would go after the Witherspoon lunch money everyday. How many kids are going to be rolling around with a $20 bill in their pocket in 2nd grade for lunch? Not many, and so I don't think Reese is going to have any problems with bullies targeting her kids.

"I wouldn't want my children to miss out on any of that teasing and bullying and don't you think it kind of makes you who you are?

"This drives me crazy about today. Everyone wins the award and then, you know, everybody's an MVP (Most Valuable Player)? No! They're not! Okay? I distinctly recall the two weeks of crying because I didn't make the softball team. It made me interesting, you know?" she added.

Two weeks of crying? I would have thought she would have cried less when she and Ryan split. Two weeks about a softball team? You think maybe Reese is just a wee bit competitive? I'm wondering if her role in Election wasn't so much about good acting as it was a reflection of her true personality. I read comments like this and I think to myself, damn, I wonder how many people she stepped over, punched, and kicked the crap out of in Hollywood because she wanted that role. Watch your brake lines when you are competing against Reese for a role.

Also, I think it is kind of funny that Ryan is out making the rounds shilling for his new film, and spilling about their marriage, so lo and behold, here comes Reese allowing herself to be interviewed and asked questions about her marriage as well. No one said Reese was stupid. If you are GMA, who do you want to interview more? Yep, which is why Ryan is being forced to promote through magazines and Reese gets morning network television.

Here is a link to the interview, or at least portions of it. If you can suffer through the ads, you can see it. I actually couldn't bother to sit through the ads, but I probably could if I was bored. Your decision.

Nicolas Cage, You Ignorant Slut

Actually I don't think that really has anything to do with anything, but haven't you ever wanted to use that phrase in a sentence without just actually quoting it in the context of the show? If you don't know what show I am referring to, wait for a comment and it will explain all to you. Actually, what I think Nicolas Cage is, is a jerk who has a problem with even the slightest negative thing said about him.

A couple of weeks ago, I wrote about Kathleen Turner's new book. You can look at the posts here and here. Here is the offending statement about Nic Cage. "Everything Francis (Ford Coppola) wanted him (Cage) to do, he went against to show that he wasn't under his uncle's wing. "Which was ridiculous. Oh, that stupid voice of his and the fake teeth! Honestly, I cringe to think about it. He caused so many problems. He was arrested twice for drunk driving and, I think, once for stealing a dog. He'd come across a Chihuahua he liked and stuck it in his jacket."

And here is what Cage said to Page Six in response. "While I recall Kathleen Turner being a great lady and wonderful actress, the credibility of her biography and her memory is at stake . . . Fact credibility should have been exercised on (her) part."

Well today Nic filed a libel suit against Kathleen. There must be some truth to what Kathleen said because first of all her publishers wouldn't have printed it, and second Nic made the pansy ass move of suing in the UK. UK libel laws are much tougher than in the US so remember that next time you think the Sun or News of The World are just printing lies.

Nic's spokesperson said this: “The libel action follows false allegations that appear in the forthcoming autobiography. As legal proceedings have been commenced, it would be inappropriate to comment further.”

The main reasons why celebrities love to sue in the UK are that instead of Nic Cage having to prove something is libelous and mailicious as he would here in the US, in the UK it will be up to Kathleen Turner to prove that it was true. Malice does not even play a part in UK proceedings. These two items are unique to British law and combined with the outrageously high litigation costs in the UK, most people just give up quickly. It is so bad in the UK that even talking about the allegedly libelous article in print is itself libelous. So, the law basically stifles any kind of freedom of the press.

Nic Cage being the weak assed guy he is decided to avail himself of those laws because he doesn't believe in the rule of law in the country he calls home. He would much rather use the laws of a foreign country instead of the one that has given him everything. His here is allegedly Elvis. I say allegedly because the next thing you know he will sue me and say his hero is actually Big Bird or something. I don't think Elvis would have used the laws of a foreign country to defend his besmirched reputation, he would have just gone out and said, "hell yeah and I drove drunk and it was just a little sport stealing the chihuahua. Now go make me a peanut butter and banana sandwich, and remember to sprinkle it with those Vicodin. They give it a little crunch."

NY Daily News Blind Item

The mother of which sober designer is said to be in rehab herself for unspecified addiction issues?

For All Time

US Weekly obtained the song For All Time which will be released on Thriller 25 tomorrow. The song was originally recorded during the Thriller sessions but was never finished until now. Since it was recorded 25 years ago, I guess that means it has a chance to be good.

Today's Blind Items

#1 This A list director has come full circle. Unable to find anyone he hasn't screwed, our director managed to convince his old flame and very in shape celebrity to go home with him. Obviously she has some extreme self esteem issues to go back to this well again. It also goes against everything she presents to the public.

#2 This female singer/ male celebrity betrothed will have some more convincing to do after they spent time apart last night. She spent the whole evening pissed and alone and he spent the evening pissed as well at a party in a different state with lady after lady coming up to him and spending time with him. He never turned any of them away and never indicated he was still married.

#3 At London's Fashion Week, these two daughters of separate rock icons got into a shouting match about a boyfriend of one icon's daughter and how the other daughter managed to steal him away.

Random Photos Part One

Dave Annable gets ready to adjust his sock after his swing.
Cyndi Lauper - Grammy Awards
Brad Paisley and Kimberly Williams are two of my favorite people but lately I feel like Kimberly is always auditioning for the Patsy Cline story or something.
The Lil Rascals' True Hollywood Story. I just can't stop staring at this photo. It is like a train wreck.
You really don't often find hair this prominent outside of the animal kingdom.
Speaking of the animal kingdom. No, I have trashed her enough for a few weeks and so I will just let you ponder the nature of the relationship between Josh Duhamel and Fergie.
Emma Watson really doesn't pull off late 20's early 30's very well. She looks like a 16 year old trying to be 30.
I guess we know what Dennis Haskins does with those residual checks. Hey Belding tomorrow is National Pancake Day. Guess we know who will be in the front of the line at every IHOP for those free pancakes. Yes, me, but you will be right behind me. National Pancake Day is where I get to see all my fat ass friends as we shuttle from one IHOP to the next in a valiant effort to eat 500 pancakes all in one day.
Michael Douglas graciously offered to help Heather Locklear with her microphone. Immediately thereafter CZJ fed him his oatmeal and put him to bed.
This is not the same Lindsay Lohan as two months ago. Something has happened to the face other than the horrible orange.
Kid Rock shows us all how he entertains himself at night when he can't find someone stupid enough to sleep with him.
I seriously thought I was looking at some kind of Cheryl Tiegs Sears commercials from 20 years ago. It was Sears that she plugged right? When you start messing with the look, people leave. Isn't that right Keri Russell? Katherine Heigl needs to remember that.
When I see Jack Wagner I start humming that song from the 80's. I don't think General Hospital or Melrose, just that damn song.
Vince Neil discovers why you don't marry a stripper. 20 years down the road, they look 100. Of course Vince doesn't look that hot either so maybe this worked out ok for everyone.
You get the feeling that if you get Mariah Carey drunk enough she gets a little flirty, and by flirty I mean not opposed to spending some time in a storage closet.
I'm hoping Tom Jones just has a bad case of sunburn because if not, then that chemical peel went horribly wrong.
The Bean and a guest.
RIP Mr. Scheider.

My Two Favorite Stories From The Grammy Awards

I know you probably wouldn't think it, but I am kind of a hopeless romantic. Yes, that is perhaps what has contributed to the multiple marriages and the current residence in Chez Basement, but I refuse to let go. It is with that in mind that I love the story but can't find a photo of Tom Higgenson and Delilah DiCrescenzo who made an appearance together at the awards.

If you are not familiar with the story, it goes a little something like this. Back in 2003, Tom met Delilah in Chicago and promptly fell head over heels for her. One problem is that she had a boyfriend and still has the same boyfriend by the way. Instead of becoming a stalker he got himself a record deal and stalked her through the radio by writing and performing Hey There Delilah which was nominated for song of the year and best pop performance.

After the nominations Tom worked up all of his nerd courage and asked DiCrescenzo out on a date. The date of course being to accompany him to the Grammy Awards. However, while DiCrescenzo accompanied Higgenson to the Los Angeles event, where fans began singing Hey There Delilah to her, she made it clear the two are not romantically involved as she has a boyfriend of six years. She said, "He's not jealous. It's (relationship with Higgenson) strictly platonic. I played a pretty important role in Hey There Delilah, so I wanted to be here. "Being here is a very surreal experience. It is not normally my scene, which is normally training for my Olympic shot."

I think she should have been a little more positive as the song was shut out at the awards, but hey, I bet you anything Tom doesn't give a rat's ass because he got his date, and the perv in me probably thinks he had a choice of groupies back at his hotel at the end of the night.

My other favorite story has to do with Aretha Franklin. Seems the Queen wanted some tea in her dressing room. A tea service was brought to her. Ummm. She wanted a silver tea service. Runners were sent out to find Ms. Franklin a tea service and at the end of the night when no one could find it, no one really thought it wise to go and ask Ms. Franklin if she wouldn't mind returning it.

Daily Mirror Blind Item

Which skanky celeb grossed-out partygoers by not washing her hands after using the loo? She also had a mysteriously runny nose...

The BAFTA Report - British Snark

**Update** I somehow forgot to copy and paste the first three lines of the report and so they are there now, in italics. The spy caught it, and then let me have it. I apologize profusely.

The spy is female and married, and may or may not have children. She also reads the comments sections.That is all I am saying. Oh, and the pics are not from our spy. A little issue with identification in most of her photos is precluding us from using them.



I just have two quick message for the readers-

1- If you don't know who someone is, just google them- don't spend time in the comments section going 'who the hell is this person?'

2- Apologies for changes in tense, misspellings and other grammatical errors- I wrote all this stuff on a blackberry.

Bonus:

The night before the BAFTAs I was at Claridge's having dinner. Harvey Weinstein was staying there, holding court and conducting business in his own inimitable manner. Having not really been around anyone who could buy and sell my arse I decided to mind my Ps and Qs. His FOUR (yes, four) assistants were buzzing around him like flies, messaging like mad on their blackberries and carrying around scripts. He buggered off in the late evening- out for dinner I am guessing. He went with a group of people including Georgina Chapman- wearing a stunnThe night before the BAFTAs I was at Claridge's having dinner. Harvey Weinstein was staying there, holding court and conducting business in his own inimitable manner. Having not really been around anyone who could buy and sell my arse I decided to mind my Ps and Qs. His FOUR (yes, four) assisstants were buzzing around him like flies, messaging like mad on theiring black chiffon dress. She has got to be one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen. A few minutes later Cuba Gooding Jr. sauntered into the lobby unsuccesfully looking for someone- I can only assume Weinstein. However, judging from that dodgy 'tash, he could have been looking for the annual get-together for the official rich-arse trans-Atlantic S+M Bear Lovers. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Anyway, we laughed, because who is late for a meeting with Weinstein? That's some balls.

And I am certain either Gena Rowlands or Julie Christie was there as well, with a man who I recognised but maddeningly could not place. She was lovely and super-friendly to everyone. Whichever one it was, she was DRUNK by the end of the night- so drunk that when she staggered toward the lift she knocked a few things out of her coat pockets or purse. He picked them up and helped her away. She is remarkably beautiful.

The BAFTAs-

Before proceeding with the red carpet stuff, I thought I would mention that Keira Knightly left Claridge's with her entourage at the same time as us, walking very slowly. Her dress is absolutely STUNNING.
Okay, here are my impressions whilst going up the red carpet-

6:30pm- Aw, Jamie and Jools Oliver get out of their car and saunter by like they are A-listers. Cute. Unfortunately so does the nearby crowd, who immediately deafen me with screams for them. Bloody hell, people- he's only a tv chef, and hardly Gordon Ramsay at that. Real A listers are everywhere- have some perspective!
Damn, I didn't realise Daniel Day-Lewis was so thin! His people are waiting patiently while he briefly chatted with someone on the side- couldn't tell if it was an interviewer or just a fan. Meanwhile the crowds on the left side of the carpet are SCREAMING his name waving autograph books. I love him but his hair is a mess- I can't tell whether he showered 20 minutes ago or 20 days ago. I'll try and smell him to see.
Uh oh, burly security guard suspicious of my attempts to smell. We get ushered along.

Okay, fuck yeah, Izzard is here. I am standing within 15 feet of him. I can die now.

James McAvoy is getting interviewed and his fab wife Anne-Marie Duff (a brilliant actress in her own right) is radiant. I have always loved those two and ponder why it has taken so long for the rest of the world to catch up. I hope he wins.

My god, what is Tilda Swinton wearing? I love her but she looks like Grim Death. When Grim Death is really, really ill.
Daniel Radcliffe is very short and much less good looking in real life (which is not saying much). He rolled his eyes when I said to my husband, 'oh, look it's Harry Potter'. This of course made me do it again. And louder. Don't worry, I think I could take him if things throw down. Quidditch this, bitch.

Uh oh, they are hurrying us along again.

Viggo Mortensen is on the left. Jesus wept, you can smell the testosterone from here. He's far too twisted-steel-and-sex-appeal for my liking. He fancies himself, no diggety.

When did Sienna Miller grow all that hair? Never mind, it is a fairly unconvincing weave which would be rejected as too ugly by a Jerry Springer guest. She is just setting up an interview with Ryan Seacrest, who seems to be having a harder time than you'd expect with trying to get celebs to stop. Seacrest is out- out of his mind if he thinks he looks straight. I resisted the urge to pat him on the head while he interviewed Sienna. He's just so weeny!

Thandie Newton has gained some weight- finally out of that extermination-camp chic (which Day Lewis has obviously taken over). She looks gorgeous.

Gervais is strutting cock of the walk but i don't care how successful he is- he looks out of place amongst the beautiful people.

Kevin Spacey looks happy. But then he's talking to a cute guy, so no surprises there.
Catherine Berger is looking gorgeous. So glad she is here- she's the next big thing as far as screenwriters in Europe go, so look out for her.

Whoops getting rushed along now, to inside. We get ushered to the upstairs party (for the industry plebs) although Emily Blunt is running around with what could be her sister. Why does she always have that visceral high-school bully smirk on her face? Damn, just dump his useless arse already and enjoy life hon!
---
The Awards themselves- (comments on the Awards ceremony are arbitrary and thin on the ground because I couldn't whip out the blackberry and type through the whole thing)

Gervais telling hilarious fat jokes (that were probably cut from the transmission) and Chris Langham (google him) jokes.

Day Lewis gets award and it becomes clear it was 20 days. Come on, Daniel, shampoo is our friend. Damn, McAvoy didn't win. Meh.

Fuck me Sly is here and obvs had elocution lessons because I can understand half of what he's saying.

Wait a sec- they just said Clooney isn't here. Collective gasp from all the women around me.

Rosamund Pike is presenting an award. Oh my god, kill me now. She speaks at the speed of a very slow-moving thing.

What the hell- Jessica Biel with inexplicably hideous newly dyed straw-coloured hair? *Sigh*. If she only had a brain.

Tilda's outfit really is a disaster. My husband disagrees. I am confused.

Marion Cotillard looked like an angel in couture. She is in shock that she won, but I am not surprised at all. She was sublime in La Vie En Rose. If you don't see that film, slash your wrists because life ain't worth living without it.
And Dougie from Travis with his girl- so cute together!

Jeff Goldblum wearing sunglasses while presenting an award? You can tell he's fresh off the boat. His mates at the Old Vic will take the piss when he returns this week.

Anthony Hopkins? I have nothing to say except I am lucky to have breathed in the same air as he.---

Just after the Awards (9:45pm)-


FYI- When the BAFTA Awards finish all 3,000 attendees are shipped from the theatre over to the Grosvenor Hotel for dinner. Most people (ie the plebs and the minor celebs) get stuck in huge queues for buses. However, the celebs have their own queue out of a separate part of the building, where an endless line of BAFTA-sponsored cars and drivers take whoever is in the queue. It is hilarious to see A listers in queues when they are used to not waiting for anything. Here's what I observed besides all of them being antsy in one way or another:

Eddie Izzard is surprisingly quiet and short but his eyes are gorge. He and his companions were eyeing up a possible sneaky route out of the area. Despite the cold he was funny, but he could have dressed up a bit more.
Daniel Day-Lewis sneaky his way to the front of the queue, happily chatting with well-wishers. I see what you are doing and I've got your number, mate.

Orlando Bloom does not look happy about waiting in line. I am sorry, but he looks weedy. At one point he was resting his chin on the top of his companion's head. Just waiting and bored.

Cuba was in good spirits (although he didn't take my advice about the 'tash) as well but short too. (I promise I am not a giant!)

Harvey Weinstein took his jacket off for Georgina Chapman. She is so tiny- I could span her waist with my hands. His shirt was discombobulated but who cares after this display of loveliness?

Kate Hudson breezing by the car queue with an entourage.

Some of the Atonement lot cutting the line as well. Famous gits! It is freezing out here, and you have smug self-satisfaction to keep you warm! Stop cutting in line!
---

The dinner- I don't have a lot from this bit because my vantage point was limited and it was hard to get around for a better view. However, here goes-

Before dinner Keira Knightly storming toward her table looking beautiful but PISSED OFF at not winning.

Rhys Ifans was chatting with a large group of people, checking out everyone who walked by. Friendly but definitely attitudey.


The preacher kid from There will be Blood was lording it before dinner with a smirk on his face. Easy, tiger.

Kelly Macdonald was struggling to get around- there was barely any space between tables and her preggers belly made it really hard. Poor thing- I love her too.

Rachel Weitz happily chatting with people but not as cute as she looks on screen.
---
After the dinner-

The A listers left fairly quickly to get to Weinstein's party- it was nearly like a footrace at some points. However, in the cloakroom area (which lay between the main dining room and the exits/afterparty room) lots of people were pouncing on the celebs before they left. You could choke on the desperation in that area. It was hilarious.

Anyone who tried to have a ciggie in the designated outside area was surrounded by paps, autograph hounds and wingnuts (some of them with their life's belongings stored securely in their plastic bags).

Andy Sirkus (with unreasonably hippie-ish beard) was running around near the coat check smiling to himself.

Harvey Keitel running around, buggering off as quickly as possible. My husband chatted with him just after dinner but I missed it. I missed Mr. White! Tragedy!

Xavier checking out women while someone in his group mentioned going to Weinstein's party. He is much better looking in real life, but there is still a distinct Gerard Depardieu flavour about him. Very friendly though.

Izzard and the Juno group heading toward the door (but not necessarily leaving together) with izzard clearly intrigued by Diabolo Cody. She was adorable and not a hint of nerves to be seen. Very gracious when we congratulated her.

Nick Rhodes happy and gorgeous as always. Fucking Nick Rhodes! What an awesome surprise!
Christopher Gunning and his adorable family looking completely starstruck with an 'I can't believe my luck' expression written all over his face.

The dude who wrote This is England, hugging his BAFTA and graciously accepting compliments from all around. He is a big old teddy bear.

Matt Willis from Busted leaving gents' toilets with a smile on his face. I am guessing he is happy he had the red carpet gig for the Brit media. It was defo a 'yay the rent will be paid this month' kind of smile.

Rosamund Pike looking lovely but walking around radiating as much charisma as a particularly introverted wet haddock that's gone off in a sulk.

David Baddiel looking like his insomniac scruffy self (we're both insomniacs so we know only too well how to recognise one) with a dark cloud over him. This could be because no one cared he was there.

Victoria Silverstet holding court at the after party hilariously unaware that every other single famous person had buggered off to Weinstein's party.
Then I was off as well. The in-house afterparty at the Grosvenor was crap, the dj sucked (if you are reading, learn how to play more that 10 seconds of a song and for God's sake, step away from the copy of Hips Don't Lie).

If You Don't Want To Read About Amputations And Orgasms Stop Now

Well if you are reading this I know you are all some sick bastards and I love you. Plus, I promise it's gossip so you don't have to feel ashamed at all. I confess that as I was growing up I would stumble upon that sex column in Cosmo and some other magazines as well while, I was, looking at the pages with other activities in mind. I also have read more Penthouse Forum than anyone non-fictional than I know. It is possible that John Candy's character in Splash may have read more. It is debatable.

In all of that reading and every article I have ever seen about fetishes, I have never seen or heard about anyone who would orgasm when you rubbed their amputated limb. Until now. Of course it had to be that porn star/hooker Heather Mills who has this honor. In a story run by News Of The World it is almost an aside to the main part of the story that says that heather Mills cheated on Paul for a good portion of their relationship with some guy she had been seeing for love until she stumbled upon a Beatle for money.

She was dating some guy named Tim Steel (has to be porn star name) and he says that Heather, was "insatiable" in the bedroom and laughed about being "pursued" by Paul while romancing Tim Steel in 1999.

Steel, who had allegedly been sleeping with Heather for three years when she met Paul, said: "Heather was insatiable, she demanded sex six times a night. I'd come home to find her waiting naked in bed. She had a hoard of vibrators for when she was home alone. Her favourite was a huge back massager that she plugged into the mains. (For those of you in the UK, are the mains referring to the electrical outlet or some other hole? Either way makes the story interesting, so this is simply out of curiosity that I want to know.)

"She would laugh and say, 'I'm being pursued by a Beatle!' She even showed me text messages from Paul. She was up for it anywhere. Once she pleasured me under my desk while I was at work."

Here is the payoff. Street also revealed Heather, who lost her left leg below the knee in a motorbike accident in 1993, would thrash around the bed in pleasure when he massaged her amputated limb.

He said: "Heather has a very unusual erogenous zone - her stump. I used to massage one particular area and it gave her orgasm after orgasm."

DNfromMN - Movie Review - Vince Vaughn's Wild West

VINCE VAUGHN’S WILD WEST COMEDY SHOW

Release Date 2/8/08

t’s funny, and Vince Vaughn is charming. I’ve said it… I never thought I would, because I’ve always thought ole double-V came across as an ass all the time, but in this documentary about a comedy tour he put together because he wanted to go on tour with some buds, he seems like a good guy.

So you put 4 comedians, 3 actors, and the grown-up kid from A Christmas Story (as producer and butt of jokes) on a bus for 30 days trucking them from California through TX, detoured by Hurricanes Katrina and Rita into Tennessee and Ohio ending up in Chicago. You’re going to laugh, and you’re going to learn some quirks about some guys who want to make you laugh.

I’m not going to give away any jokes, but if you want to get a taste of them, here are all of their sites, in alphabetical order (because they’re all good, and it’s a matter of taste who you like best).

Ahmed Ahmed who was once Vince’s roommate.

John Caparulo who tends to get the most laughs due to his personality

Bret Ernst who’s got the most gorgeous blue-green eyes, and is pretty damn funny.

and

Sebastian Maniscalco who was waiting tables at the 4 Seasons when the opportunity to tour came up, and was able to ditch the day job afterwards.
What it’s worth: I’d say watching this is worth about $7.50. You’ll enjoy yourself just as much watching it on DVD (maybe more since there’ll be all the stuff that’s edited out), but it’s worth 90 minutes in the movie theater on a crummy day. The humor is very much guy humor, but women in the audience were laughing just as much as the guys were. I’d say check out clips on their website or youtube/whatever and see if it’s something you’d like before going.

Weekend Watch (I’ll try and do these when I remember and have some insight)

Fool’s Gold – Kate Hudson and Matthew McConaughey. There were lots of promo screenings for this, which usually means the studio’s confident that word of mouth will be good.

Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins – I’ve never been a fan of Martin Lawrence, that’s a personal preference thing.

The Band’s Visit – Darling Boyfriend saw this one last week, he said “It’s the most boring movie I wasn’t bored at that I’ll ever see.” Not much happens, but it’s interesting – this is an arthouse release about an Egyptian band that gets stuck in middle-of-nowhere Israel.

The Hottie and the Nottie – I refuse to pay money that some portion will end up in Paris Hilton’s pocket. I hope you support me in this.

In Bruges – what I’ve read has been mixed, but I’m looking forward to this and it’s my pick for the weekend. If nothing else, I get to drool over Colin Farrell.

Vince Vaughn’s Wild West Comedy Show – wouldn’t have been something I would have sought out, but I laughed and enjoyed it.

Natalie Cole Thinks The Grammys Should Require Drug Testing

Natalie Cole, the former junkie herself, thinks that Amy Winehouse should not have won any awards last night because it sends the wrong message to fans and to other artists.

“I’m going on record as an artist who is able to critique her. I think she has a great talent but I don’t agree with the Grammys giving her those nods.

“I think it sends the wrong message, that even in the midst of her stupor of drugs she can get nominated for all these awards... It’s a slap in the face to musicians and artists who work very hard that they turn around and give it to someone who really obviously doesn’t have a grasp of what she has.”

Ummmm. So, if I get this straight it appears that Natalie Cole wants any musician who is currently using drugs to be eliminated from the entire nomination process. I am assuming that if someone was a past user but is clean now they are ok, otherwise Natalie Cole would not be eligible for any award. If I recall, she was so f**ked up on drugs that she spent six months in rehab trying to quit her habit.

I think what Natalie wants is mandatory drug testing for all musicians. That way she actually has a chance to win an award again and be considered relevant. I am also assuming it would be perfectly fine for the actual voters to be stoned out of their minds, just not the actual musicians. Can you imagine if they had drug testing of all the nominees, and then after the show musicians would be stripped of their awards for testing positive and there could be all kinds of allegations about A samples and B samples and how it was really NyQuil which was the cause of the positive or that someone was smoking a joint in the limo on the way to the show.

Would the drug testing apply to the whole band? Also, presumably, Ms. Winehouse is now clean, although her adulation of Blake makes me somewhat doubt that. Would the drug ban only apply to the actual awards show? Would you have time to get clean once you are nominated? Is it possible for Keith Richards to ever piss clean urine again in his lifetime?

I just think that Natalie Cole is a little jealous that the only time she had any success, it was basically as a result of grabbing onto her father and holding tight. I am glad she got off drugs, but don't think she should be using her jealousy as a basis for reforms which make no sense. On a positive note, she looks really good for 58. Maybe there is something to this whole kicking drugs thing.

YouTube And The Grammys

In the old days you would have been forced to sit through the entire Grammy show to get to the good stuff. Now, granted this years there was lots of good stuff, but there was still lots and lots of filler. With TiVo, you don't have to watch commercials, but with YouTube you don't even have to watch the show. You can just watch the performances everyone was talking about at the water cooler (line at Starbucks). The great thing is they are not usually taken down because the performances drive record sales. Here are some of the best from last night.


Alicia Keys and John Mayer



Andrea Bocelli and Josh Groban



Amy Winehouse



Foo Fighters and John Paul Jones



Beyonce and Tina Turner



Axl Rose and John Legend



Kanye West



Last but, most certainly not least, Morris Day and The Time with Rihanna



I know I left out some, but the only other one I would probably put in here would be the Alicia Keys/Frank Sinatra performance. Oh, hell, here you go.



But there is no way I will ever put Carrie Underwood on here, so you will have to go do your own digging if you want to watch her performance.

Ny Daily News Blind Item

Which director shouldn't be in such a rush? Last week, he asked a young lady at 1 Oak: "Are you Asian?" When she said, "No, I'm Native American," he replied, "Bye," and sharply turned his back.