Four For Friday

The great thing about today's four items is they all come from the same apartment building in New York.


#1 The summer this B list film actress who I love to rag on as of late was in Shakespeare in the Park, she lived in the building. The building is in Manhattan that was home to many celebs on a permanent basis or just while they were doing a stint in a play or something. So, our actress lived in the building that summer under an assumed name because she didn't want to be bothered. Fine...who cares. No one in the building really cared about famous people living there. There was no mail room at this building, but rather a concierge who gave out mail. All of the mail was in pigeon holes and generally, the concierge knew you and got your mail as you came to the desk. Sometimes there were a few people there so you had to wait. Fine...well, not fine for our actress. Once, while a person was getting their mail and chatting with the concierge for a moment, he got the mail and told the person they had a package in the back so he was going to get it. Before he went to get the package, our actress came up and asked for her stuff. She was told to wait since there was another person there ahead of her. She didn't like that at all. So she said, I can't wait and I want my stuff now. The concierge ignored her. She was so steamed and unfortunately, the person ahead of our actress in line had to ride in the elevator together. She had previously asked the security guard if she could have the elevator to herself. He promptly told her that that is not how things work in the building...but in a really nice way.

#2 This former A list child actor lived in the building. He actually got kicked out of the building. He was renting...spending about 14k a month on rent. That included a studio apt that was made into a gym. This is when he was married. They rescued a lot of animals but never took them out...they also smoked pot incessantly so the halls reeked. That's why they were asked to leave. He NEVER held the door for anyone. There was a fire in the building where his mom and siblings lived...well, they all moved in with him. There were siblings ALL over the place. They would run down the halls banging on the walls. It was annoying as hell to say the least.

#3 The Paper was also filmed in the building. Ron Howard was scouting out the location so everyone on the floor which was used for filming got to see him. A few days later, he was back and invited several residents to see what was going on. He was incredibly nice. One of the male stars was not friendly at all. Apparently he was being stalked at the time so he had an armed guard, who was really nice, but our actor was an ass. He refused to take the elevator if anyone was in it. He also refused to talk to ANYONE.

#4 Here's another ass. This involves an Academy Award winning actress/supporting actress. The building was set up such that there was a doorway that went from the elevator bank to the hall. One day a resident was going from the elevator to the hall and our actress was going the other way. Well, they didn't see each other and our actress bashed through the door and hit the resident in the head. Ok, mistake...fine...well...not so fine..our actress said "get out of my way." Yeah, not ok. So, the resident told her to watch it because the resident lived there etc etc and the resident thought that our actress was really rude. The woman with her apologized profusely. The resident told her there was NO reason for her to apologize because she didn't do anything. The resident pointed to our actress and said "She's the one who should be apologizing." The resident kept being ignored by our actress while the assistant just kept apologizing.

Random Photos Part One

See, I'm not sure how you can really enjoy Dominoes if you are dressed like Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher. I prefer shorts and a 40, but that is just me. I will say that they look really good, and if they smile, I would almost believe they are happy together. Actually I think they probably are happy together. Probably.
Ashlee Simpson - Chicago
Justin Long looks like he is counting down the days until Drew dumps him. Just hanging on for the ride.
I think Minka Kelly always looks pretty, and she looks ok here, but not great.

Most people would flash the devil horns after seeing Ozzy. Lance Bass is throwing them after just getting out of Bette Midler. Seriously. Is she the gay Ozzy?
Your weekly photo of John Mayer. I know you all like to follow his hair. He does have good hair. I wish I had hair.
You ever get tired of seeing Hayden Panettiere in a cheerleader pose. I'm tired of it, so no more.
Duffy - London

Sing it with me. Tune is that Nair commercial from the 70's. "Who wears Spanx Spanx, we all wear Spanx Spanx."

I guess Rumer Willis wanted bigger breasts than her mom last night.
Hugh Jackman, Naomi Watts, and the perfect baby toy. Muttonchops.
Don't like this new look from Michelle Trachtenberg.
Someone gave Mickey Rourke a job...and hair extensions. Yay Mickey.

Today Is Give Ryan A Break Day

Normally I would lay into Ryan Seacrest for what I heard on his show. I have never watched the Kardashian nightmare on E!, but I have posted on here before how Ryan and his co-host seem to always be really far up their collective asses. Well it turns out Ryan owns that damn show too. Anyway, the reason he is getting a pass on that is because he had Sara Blakely, the founder of Spanx on his show. I know, I know, but it gets good.

Anyway, Ryan suckers her into basically saying that Tom Cruise loves wearing Spanx. This is just a few short minutes after she said that the only guys she knows who wear Spanx are usually gay guys who work in the mall across the street from her office in Atlanta.

At first Sara said that she could not confirm that Tom wears Spanx, but then when Ryan said that he heard Tom Cruise wears them, Sara admitted she understood that he does wear them and loves them. Now which garments is Tom Cruise wearing. My only familiarity with Spanx is that Sara was on that one season reality show with Richard Branson and came in second.

So, I will let you all decide if Tom or Katie is wearing more Spanx on the red carpet this Sunday. Tom will be there because he is King of the flops, and Katie will be there because she is the Queen of the flops. Yes, their respective movies did not do as poorly as Jessica Simpson or Lindsay Lohan's films, BUT, Tom and Katie get paid for $100M box offices, and so it is a much bigger loss to the studios when their films bomb.

Nicolas Cage In Trouble With IRS

You just had to know that I loved writing that headline. For those of you who are outside the country and not familiar with the IRS. It is the tax collection and enforcement agency of the US Government. Another thing about them is that they are very nice, especially considering the fact they are making Nicolas Cage's life miserable and I would never say anything bad about an agency that has the ability to make my life painful. Ever been strip searched by an IRS agent. Like everything they do, they are very thorough. Very thorough if you know what I mean.

According to Forbes, Cage tried to write off $3.3M in taxes for things such as gifts, limos, meals, travel and his Gulfstream jet. Hmmm. Didn't know he had a jet did you? Cage disputes the items and his manager says they are a necessary part of doing business in Hollywood and that much of it was for Cage's personal security. Umm. Excuse me. Nicolas Cage needs bodyguards? From what? I don't think there are many people out there who even want to meet Nicolas Cage, let alone kidnap him, his young kid, or his wife. I would also like to know how meals and gifts contribute to his personal safety.

I think what he is really afraid of is Kathleen Turner stalking him and finally pulling that damn piece off his head so we can just get on with his baldness and just stop pretending.

Milo Ventimiglia In GQ

GQ twice in one day. Well, hopefully you are okay with it. Maybe if you don't find Eric Bana appealing, then perhaps Milo Ventimiglia is more your style. I don't really have an opinion on which is better, but I will say Eric is funnier. That being said, I'm sure the folks at GQ would love if you would click over again and read what Milo has to say. He doesn't really talk about Hayden much except to say that he really enjoyed the half naked photos of her. He probably has better ones at home right? Maybe a video which will come out after they break up? Oh, they will break up, if they haven't already.

Daily Mirror Blind Item

Brit Awards After Party

Which star squealed that she lost her packet of coke in the lining of her coat? She had a huff and refused to go into the party until flunkies found it...

Hey Pete Doherty Stop Clogging The Internet

Pete Doherty must be sitting in front of the computer 24 hours a day. There is no other explanation for what I am about to tell you unless the rest of the population of the UK has suddenly developed a love for crack also.

As of me writing this Heather Mills is ranked the 95th sexiest person in the world by FHM UK readers. I don't know how many people are on the planet, but lets say 4 billion give or take a billion. When you are talking billions, does it really matter if you count them all? I think that is what McDonalds decided and if it is good enough for them, it is good enough for me. I'm the only person who uses Super Size Me as a before dinner aperitif. If you say that half of the world's humans are female, are you telling me that Heather Mills ranks 95th out of 2 billion?

Anyway, Heather has been getting thousands and thousands of votes. According to FHM deputy editor Chris Bell, "Heather Mills has always been vilified as a gold-digger with a dubious past."But with her pin-sharp power suits and model good looks, thousands of FHM readers have realised she's about to become the world's most eligible - and richest - single woman."

Uh huh. Now I guess I could see the appeal if you have always wanted to have sex with a former porn star and prostitute who was willing to f**k almost anything to make a buck and did manage to talk a Beatle out of $100M or so for a few years of sex.

The bright side to this horrible tale is that she is beating out Paris Hilton. On the other hand she is also beating out Gwen Stefani. Most likely to win this year are Cheryl Cole who we may as well go back to calling Cheryl Tweedy and Jessica Alba who won it last year. Apparently the guys in the UK have a thing for vacant brained, pregnant women who sleep with jackasses.

DNfromMN - Movie Review - Charlie Bartlett

CHARLIE BARTLETT

Release Date: February 22, 2008
So what’s the story: Smart rich kid with parents Hope Davis, as over-medicated mom, and an absent father, gets into trouble and ends up in public school. Kid becomes popular as the bathroom psychiatrist, and dates the principal’s daughter. Principal (Robert Downey, Jr.) hates his job because he cares too much. Let’s call it Juno goes to Rushmore.

Maybe bringing up Juno and Rushmore isn’t a good idea, because this movie doesn’t have the magic of either one. And I think it comes down to the lead actor, Anton Yelchin – who’s good, just smug. I had to look him up and see what else he’s done, since he didn’t look familiar, and it’s not fair to pick on new actors. He was the kidnapped kid in Alpha Dog, and he was great in that. I just found him unrelatable here. Maybe because I didn’t grow up wealthy and feeling like public school was a punishment or last resort like Charlie feels. I had similar issues with Rushmore, and that’s probably why I brought it up.
The highlights of the film for me were the adults. I love Hope Davis. I’ve loved Hope Davis since the first time I saw Next Stop Wonderland (not the best romantic comedy from the 90s, but definitely worth a rental). I am a fan of anyone who gives Hope Davis a well-deserved job. She’s the mom who appreciates her son’s reminders of when to take her meds, plays tennis with the 80-year old chauffer, and is desperate for her son to make friends. Bit of trivia: She played Anton Yelchin’s mother in Hearts in Atlantis with Anthony Hopkins.

Robert Downey, Jr is the alcoholic reluctant principal who isn’t your pal; whose daughter cares for him but hates his job almost as much as he does. There’s some great scenes between him and Charlie.

But it all just adds up to 2 hours of amusement. Mild amusement. I chuckled a couple of times, and everyone else in the theater chuckled maybe a handful of times. No big belly laughs, nothing terribly witty or memorable on the comedy front. The movie was supposed to come out last summer (I remember seeing previews for it back then), and got bumped to February 2008. I think they may suffer from “It’s not as good as Juno” reviews, and I’m going to echo that statement.

What’s it worth: $5. Worth a rental, second run theater and popcorn, or catch it on cable. I didn’t dislike it, I just found it unremarkable.

This Weekend’s Releases

Charlie Bartlett–as above
Vantage Point – wait til you don’t have to pay full price
Witless Protection – Larry the Cable Guy isn’t my style. (another fun trivia note: the writer/director of this movie, wrote a television movie called Vanishing Point)

The Counterfeiters – Austrian Oscar Nominee, gurus of gold over at moviecitynews.com tip it to win the Oscar. I saw it on Sunday, it’s based on the true story of the Germans using master counterfeiters in the concentration camps to try and crack the British pound and the dollar. It’s heartbreaking, but not as good as The Lives of Others (which won foreign language Oscar year).
The Duchess of Langeais – Apparently a Canadian film based on a Balzac novel. Period piece. I haven’t heard of it before.
The Signal – see review posted yesterday.

I know someone in the comments yesterday said they though Definitely, Maybe (Ryan Reynolds) was kind of ho-hum. Personally, I enjoyed it. I have really low expectations for romantic comedies, and tend to give them a pass because they’re not really trying for anything. I enjoyed it for the ride it is. And I love Abigail Breslin, but she got stuck being the interrupting precocious child. And her talking about sex is weird, as it’s not as funny as “boys have a penis, girls have a vagina” from Kindergarten Cop.

Eric Bana In GQ

I know many of you have been clamoring for more Eric Bana photos, so here is in GQ. If you would like to read the accompanying article, then you really must love him, so I won't ruin the surprise. OK, there really isn't a surprise, but if I could give you one I would. Oh, wait here's one. This comes courtesy of the New Zealand Herald. I would have never found it and never knew that Eric was a stand up comic. You will seriously love this video, and it is beneath all the photos.

Gene Simmons Squirms For Shannon

In the aftermath of this week's release of the Gene Simmons sex tape, Gene has no doubt been kissing a lot of Shannon Tweed ass. I love what Gene wrote on his website. "Hi everyone. You may have heard or seen garbage that has sprung up from my past."Rest assured the proper legal team is looking at all ramifications and options."Once again, thank you (and I can't say it enough) for your overwhelming support for the family and myself. Your emails have been gracious and I am humbled. Onward. Today is a new day."

So basically it looks like he probably told Shannon Tweed that this happened a long time ago, and that of course he doesn't cheat on her. Yes, I know they have an open relationship, but it always seems like the guys take that sentence a little more literally than the woman huh? Anyway, if this tape were not of Gene, his legal team would not be looking at all the options available to him, but would have already been in court to try and stop the distribution of the tape. Since we haven't heard from anyone on Gene's legal team, I am guessing that his legal team is in negotiations to get a piece of the profits of the tape, and if that doesn't work will then sue. "Yes, honey it happened a long time ago, I swear. But, as long as it happened don't you think we should make some money off it. I mean I bet you would love a trip to Europe or some new clothes."

I think the people who actually have the best chance of making some money off this are Foreigner. Yes, it is their song that can be heard in the background. Further, the tape is being sold commercially and so they have a very good case to get some money unless they already sold a license to the song which I doubt. I wonder if their record sales have gone up this week or if the song has been downloaded more than usual.

Aaron Carter Smokes A Lot Of Pot

Here is a valuable tip. If you are carrying drugs, don't speed. Make sure your car is in working order, or better yet, take the bus. Aaron Carter forgot about these valuable lessons and is now sitting in a Texas County jail after being arrested in Kimble County Texas for allegedly possessing 2 ounces of pot.

Although 2 ounces is considered enough for two months use, that is in a normal person. People who have been subjected to the thought of having Paris Hilton as a sister-in-law routinely need at least that amount each week just to cope with the horror of having to call her "sis."

2 ounces is usually the cut off between so what and serious crime, and the same is true in Texas. Surprisingly though, or maybe not considering you could drink while driving in Texas until a few years ago, as long as you don't have any prior felony convictions, then the judge has to sentence you to probation with mandatory drug treatment. Of course since Texas doesn't have much money for social services, if a drug treatment facility does not exist in the county in which you were arrested, then the judge can just give you the probation. The judge can also waive all the fines. So, basically this whole thing is nothing. It would be something if you had a regular job and were sitting in jail instead of punching the clock this morning. But, for Aaron Carter it is just something to laugh about over the next bong.

Ted C Blind Item

Yep, it’s yet another fagola Blind tale. Get used to it, is all I have say—this town’s friggin’ filled to the brim with boy-lovin’ boys who don’t exactly want the world to know that’s how they swing. Except perhaps when their sexuality supposedly prevents them from employment. Take the case with Cress Finesse, one of those hybrid dudes who does it all at one of the studios, including directing films known for their mucho classy ambition.

Howev, Cress’ deal (C.F. has other gigs elsewhere, to be sure) was not picked up at that par-tick place of employment. Understandably, this did not please Cress. In fact, Cress, a handsome enough guy who knows his way around fine-tuning his appearance, felt especially uglied by the unfortunate sitch. So much so that Mr. F went to the powers that be who dismissed him and threatened legal action—sexual-orientation discrimination, to be exact—for not picking up the big entertainment deal at hand.

Cress’ employers were more than taken aback. They claimed they just wanted to start moving in a "different direction" than the type of work Cress was famous for. But both parties knew the score: C.F.’s frolicking—and sometimes messy—bedroom habits did play a part in the end. It remained a fella fact the studio higher-ups just weren’t too kosher with, such fools. And even though the reticent execs never thought C.F. would follow through suitwise, they did settle.

Which pleased Cress enormously. So would he have sued? Prolly. After all, Cress is getting on a bit. He’s growing tired of the facade. Gosh, must be the only homo in town who is.

Today's Blind Items - Jackass

I see everyone is busy with Michael Musto. Thanks to nycer for letting me know Michael had done some. They are rare, but always the best, and other than me, I think he is the only person who regularly reveals blind items which is always a plus. I am in talks with the chatroom people to make the rooms larger and much less, how shall I say, Miley friendly. They will have their home, but hopefully there will be a home for everyone else to have big discussions like the blind items today without being asked asl or asked for sex.


This B- list actress with the A list movie resume. When I say A list movie resume I mean summer type popcorn flicks that do well. Well she was at a premiere recently and decided that she didn't like where the limo driver was going to drop her off. She opened her door and saw that he had missed a spot by about five feet. God forbid she was going to walk the five feet. With the door halfway open she unleashed a verbal tirade against the poor driver that included every four letter word known to man and to Xenu. (not a clue, just thought it was fun to write) After she made him move up the five feet, she opened her own door and then went around to the drivers side and then let him have it again. The guy drove away leaving her there in the street. She then put on her happy face and made nice for the red carpet.

Random Photos Part One - Kept Finding More Photos Edition

There was almost a part two today because I just kept finding more and more photos. I really could have kept going, but I didn't want to think of things to say about more photos, so just left it at this.

"It's okay honey. I'm going to open a school here and make your life better."
Will Young and Beth Ditto prove that UK after partys are waaay more fun.
Cat Stevens already did the whole name change thing right?
You know I love Amanda Bynes, but for about the millionth time I wish she would go back to being who she was, and not look like every other person in LA. Her hair color made her unique. Now, she is just like everyone else and there are already enough of everybody else. I want unique.
Speaking of unique. Alexis Arquette is certainly that.
If Full House started again today, Lori Loughlin would still be the best looking person on that show. Not the most likely to work at a strip joint, but the prettiest.
It took them an hour to play have you ever taken this drug before one said no.
It has been to long since I had one of The Veronicas on here. The primary reason is I hate spelling Jess' last name which is Origliasso.
I love this photo. James McAvoy, Reese Witherspoon and Christina Ricci. I like how they all got in order by height like it was gym class. Who wants to start the Reese Witherspoon baby bump rumors and who the baby daddy could be.
I'm trying to think who Christian Slater reminds me of now. I've seen that face somewhere before. Maybe a cartoon?
Can you hate someone just from looking at a photo?
How about now?
Michael Franti - Los Angeles
Michelle Branch - Los Angeles
Linkin Park - New York
Ever wanted to know what happens to an ex-husband kicked to the curb because a wife got too famous? Ask Scott Foley here seen with Marika Dominczyk.
If you don't know who Richard O' Brien is then we need to have a chat, but if you really don't know, click on the photo to make it larger and then read the name on the poster.
I have no idea who Poojah Shah is but with a name like that, I just have to include her.
The photo above of Lindsay and Fergie was taken in Milan at Fashion Week there. Although we all know Lindsay isn't that hot, the majority of people in the world would disagree with you. Fergie is also considered hot. Now, take a look at the two photos below. One of Petra Nemcova and one of Naomi Campbell. These are just candids at the same show as Lindsay and Fergie. Petra and Naomi always look good while Lindsay and Fergie need lighting, photoshop, and a really talented photographer.

Put Hilary Swank next to a normal sized guy and she looks like a twig.
Tate Donavon is on the market again, and he will even give you a bike to go out with him. Oh, I think he and Jennifer Aniston should start going out again. Why not, they both don't have a career, so that shouldn't get in the way.
The lovely Sissy Spacek and her equally lovely daughter Schuyler Fisk.
Shia LaBeouf makes some extra bucks delivering food.
I don't really have anything to say, I just like looking at Salma Hayek sometimes.

I Sinned

So, last night I found myself sitting in front of a television at about 9pm and so turned it on. The television was on FOX, so I watched American Idol. I know, I know, I feel like I need a cleanse. I came in right before #6. I won't even try and pretend that I remember names of any of the contestants, and this was the first time I watched the show in a few years. It probably will be the last. I will say that once I started watching it, I did hope that I had not missed Carly Smithson who is that person I wrote about last week.

When they showed the wrap up at the end with all the singers, I realized that I was glad I didn't also spend the first hour watching the show. I don't know if there was a theme to the show the singers had to follow, but these were some of the most awful performances I have ever seen on the show. Yes, there were 12 of them, but there were no standouts. The songs were all boring and I just felt like the whole thing had no life. Not watching for the past two years, I did notice that the comments from the judges were the exact same from any of the past years. You really don't even need them anymore. They have already said everything that needs to be said, and you could just cut to a clip of any of the three and no one at home would even notice or care. I guess the computer voice slipping in a him or her might be a clue, but other than that, it is just the same damn thing.

I am going to make some generalizations here which I know are not true of everyone, so for those of you on AI boards who love to send e-mails, don't. It seemed like everyone was an exact replica of Carrie Underwood. That frosted blond hair and cookie cutter face. Why do I want to have more of Carrie Underwood. I can't stand her so I don't need a second one in my face everyday.

There were the normal complement of slightly overweight women who I admire, but who have no chance of winning because we in the US have a thing against women who are not stick thin. Oh, we will vote a fat guy to the top, but not an overweight woman. You may as well just go home now, because you are not going to win.

I only saw her in the recap but love the woman with the multi-colored hair. There is always one each year they pick to show they have some diversity, but I really liked the 20 seconds I heard and I think she actually should go start a band and make a living. She is not an AI though.

The African American women I saw were probably the best of the bunch, and I would listen to them again. Wouldn't buy their album, but would like to see them on the show. The 18 year old who did the Britney impression needs to go to Vegas right now and do that for a living. It was by far the best Britney impression I have ever heard, and she will make more money doing that and she will have less chance of ending up like Jessica Sierra if she just heads straight to Vegas and starts doing that impression.

Carly, the Irish no hit wonder who seems to have lost her accent in San Diego while gaining a ton of tattoos. Smart move to cover the tattoos because people in the US won't vote for chicks with tats. Not going to happen. She was really good but what would you expect from someone who has performed in front of thousands of people before. I like how they made her talk about her past record signing and just kind of blew threw it. Did you hear her say in that little video montage that she didn't think Simon liked her voice? Honey, how the hell do you think you got on the show anyway. The people over at 19 had a discussion and they wanted you. She knows that. I have never seen Randy Jackson so excited over someone. I thought he was going to go over to her and just make her the winner right then. Maybe because he feels responsible for some of the MCA crap that went wrong?

I probably liked the Asian girl who went second or third to last? She was good and had a different look than normal, plus she was honest when she said the best part of the show was hair and makeup. I'm sure the producers will have a chat with her about in the future she should say things like having the opportunity to be with a great bunch of people and film cheesy commercials. They still do that right?

I put my favorite down below.

Prince Frederic Pimped Out Anna Nicole Smith While Having Affair With Her

When the whole Anna Nicole Smith baby daddy drama was being played out, the person everyone laughed at the most was Zsa Zsa Gabor's ex husband Prince Frederic Von Anhalt who just knew he was the baby's daddy.

At the time, people didn't even believe he knew Anna Nicole Smith, and that there was no way she would ever let some mid 60's guy have his way with her. But lest we forget, Anna did have a certain fetish for people who were entering their twilight years or, sunset years, or were ready to have someone pull the plug.

Now, the Prince, not be to be confused with Prince who as far as I know has never slept with Anna Nicole Smith, and was probably not interested in her while she was alive. As far as while she is dead, well, Prince has always been a little freaky, but that seems a little beyond what he would do. A video about or a song maybe though. He does like to shock.

Anyway, the Prince is writing a book about his affair with Anna Nicole because he wants to show the world he really did have sex with her. He even has photos, which presumably since he couldn't sell them he will use to exploit her death even more than everyone else has in his new book.

Where this really gets interesting is that while their romance was going full steam ahead, Anna allegedly cooed that she wanted a title. Well, the Prince didn't want to stop sharing Anna and Sugarpie's bed so he got right on that and set Anna up with a German aristocrat who was willing to marry Anna Nicole sight unseen. Well, actually I am sure he saw plenty of her and knew that if he could give her a title and she was already sleeping with a dog, the Prince, Larry, and possibly Howard K, then his odds were pretty good of getting something as well.

Alas, the Prince said Anna died before the marriage could take place. Oh how I wish it had taken place because all this thing is missing is some more Europeans with titles. By the way, I wonder if this German dude has called Denise Richards because I just know she would love to have a title, and make everyone call her by that title as well. Of course titles are not allowed under US law, but it wouldn't stop her from trying to use it.

Michael Musto Blind Items

What are you hungry for, kids? A healthy serving of blind items with a drizzle of bilberry syrup and a side order of brown couscous? You want a heaping plate of those unnervingly suggestive tidbits about various notables' unscrupulous doings, whereby I leave out the names so you're left to skank around every Internet watercooler there is and frantically try to dredge up the answers? OK, darlings, I'll let the anonymous good times rip just to give you some electrifying bonding time with your equally sleaze-minded cohorts. But since so many of you bother me like the dickens for the answers to Page Six's blindies all the time, why don't you just fucking call them for mine. Here goes:

Who once generously gave a gentleman something during a charity event for an organization in his late mother's name? (What he gave, actually, was a blowjob in the bathroom. Ma would have been so proud.) What couple almost split up during the making of that movie because she was on fire with jealousy that he got to show his actual talent? (No worries. It totally bombed.) What fabulous trannie swears she cut it off, but it's still there, dangling between her legs like a pendulum? Which young Broadway leading lady has for several years fallen in love with every guy who plays opposite her, even though—or maybe because—it's always a gay? Which top anchor is a bottom? Which pop star is a top? (Or so goes the legend; actually, he and one of his hot boyfriends switched positions and loved it.) Which same star did it with that married but gay male socialite? Which female politician once slept with a rabbi's sister, according to an American Idol personality who's a friend of the rabbi? Which top fashion writer disdainfully refers to a colleague of his as "Cavewoman"? What publicist introduced someone around as a boyfriend, only to have that someone lean into the ear of one of the people he'd met and mutter: "This guy is the foulest, most name-dropping asshole alive!" Any arguments?

What male comeback star (in movies and mostly TV) is known as a completely cold, unpleasant fish to work with, though he can certainly turn on the charm when he needs to? Which charismatic pit bull is described by some who've worked with her as a monster off-camera as well, someone who took her assigned role a little too seriously and became quite power-mad in the head? What lovable showbiz relic is so needy that if you show her a little kindness, she'll start calling you at two in the morning for lengthy chats every night for months? What much younger songstress has very little actual chemistry with the husband, probably because she's a big old lesbo? What drag queen with a record (meaning criminal, not long-playing) was spotted at a magazine bash, shoveling crudités into her bag and explaining, "A girl's gotta eat!"? Yeah, but that much? What transforming young movie star already seemed problematic last year when, in the middle of a press junket, he would snap at underlings, "Where's my cigarette?" then would rudely bolt for a puffing break when he got one?

Which pasty-white club mess (with his friends) blithely walked out on a check at Beige (after insanely trying to get me to pay it) and was thrown out of Hiro for choking his boyfriend, the same week he was featured in New York magazine's Look Book? What same guy became the subject of restraining tactics by a stylist when he kept using the stylist's name to get free clothes long after he ceased working for him? (Oh, did I mention he's also a thief?) Which modeling dynasty scion left her dog at a spa and never bothered to pick it up? (They didn't really mind. She paid for it to be there.) Which reality star can be seen being fisted by an admirer in a kooky video that's making the underground rounds? Should we give him a hand? Which movie star who seems so brooding and enigmatic actually doesn't speak much because he doesn't have much to say, swears an insider? What model he was once aligned with also maintains much glamour and mystery by keeping her dumb trap shut (except to open it for drugs)?

Which legendary black singer was spotted at a store, where she was screaming into her cell phone, "Doesn't anyone read in your office? Don't you understand English? I told you to arrange that flight!"? Was it perhaps a flight on a broomstick? Which beloved Broadway diva was supposedly the girlfriend of grande dame Judith Anderson all those diva years ago? What ex-Times critic looks back on his gig there as a poisonous time filled with backstabbing and one-upmanship? How can I get a job there? What comic in his sixties concerned onlookers when his speech at a roast last year was punctuated with loud snorts and grandiose nose-wiping? Which black funny lady admits she can't even hit the stage without being tanked, skanked, and totally blotto? Which porn star has no detectable accent when he answers his cell phone, but then seems to remember to lay one on once he realizes who you are? Which '70s star ingeniously turned a recent memorial service into a giant photo op for himself? Which swiveling tartlet's people brutally Tasered a young fan who simply wanted to tell her he loves her? At this point, shouldn't they Taser all the people who don't care? What female politico's daughter looked so bulimic at her wedding that friends considered staging an intervention? What cute, young guy, who's Hollywood royalty, recently had a heartwarming experience peeing into a trannie's anus, only to have all kinds of shit shoot out? Jealous?

Which seemingly passive half of that design duo can actually be a tempestuous spitfire? (He threw a drink at a Barracuda patron, whose friend chased him out the door, hoping for a showdown.) Which club regular is rumored to dabble in dominatrix work and is so successful at it that she got $1,100 from a guy just to shave one armpit? Shouldn't there be some kind of buy-one-get-one-free deal? What African-American young man who works for a repetitively named design firm (or says he does) trolls around gay parlors trying to drum up some johns? Which CBS personality sits in his car telling passersby that he's doing so to watch Katie Couric on the news, but it's actually to stall until 7 p.m., when his parking there can become legal? Which portrait artist's dog sadly spent two days in the hospital after ingesting cocaine (someone else's, mind you)? Are any of you miscreants muttering, "What a waste of good cocaine"?

Which exotic, young hotshot designer has been supposedly doing it with that black rapper with many children? Which cute-as-a-button Broadway performer who's gone from leads to supporting roles is actually straight? (No, I'm serious. There's one Broadway male who really is a hetero, and this guy is it.) Which other always-working Broadway type continually talks about a hot girlfriend who never materializes, for obvious reasons? Which good-looking writer of exposé books has a sexually adventurous side himself? Which hotel just underwent some firings because staffers admitted a 16-year-old model to the in-house club and she ended up so intoxicated she capped off her night reclining in an ambulance?

DNfromMN - Movie Reviews - The Signal and Vantage Point

Two Takes on Different Viewpoints

THE SIGNAL (Release Date 2/22/08)

VANTAGE POINT (Release Date 2/22/08)

I wasn’t going to do a review of The Signal, because I saw it like 2 months ago and I knew it wouldn’t be released for a couple of months and, if you really want to read reviews, it was at Sundance 2007 so it’s been reviewed a zillion times. Then I saw Vantage Point, which I was jazzed about from the previews: good cast, interesting idea, and action movie. If I were spending movie dollars this weekend instead of prepping for my Oscar bash, I’d seek out The Signal over Vantage Point. (However, the boyfriend has the opposite taste.) And honestly, neither one is entirely successful.


Story (The Signal): Maya and Ben are having an affair, and plan to skip town. Before they can leave, a signal invades all airwaves (radio, tv, phones, cell phones, etc.) on New Year’s Eve. After being exposed to the signal, people become murderously paranoid, including Maya’s husband. Who survives? Who gets ‘infected’? Will Maya and Ben live happily ever after?

Here’s the catch, there are 3 directors, and 3 parts of the story. Each director got to write their section of the movie. That’s important information, because parts 1 and 3, scary and tense. Part 2 is a comedy, with horror elements (like Shaun of the Dead). That’s the flaw of this movie. You never know what you’re going to get, but that middle part is just such a different vibe on the story, it’s confusing and really interferes with what you thought was the main plotline with Ben and Maya. Part 2 is really very funny, and highly entertaining, it’s just in the wrong movie. Think of it like 3 short films, with the same characters, and I think it’s a better movie.

I found some YouTube clips, which will give you a taste. Here’s the red-band trailer, which is clips of part 1. And is a pretty good approximation of the tone and style of parts 1 and 3.



And here’s two and a half minutes of the middle third:



Both are entertaining, in completely different ways. Watching them without a commercial interruption just didn’t fly with pretty much everyone in the group I saw it with.


Vantage Point (the story): The President is shot while giving a speech and the Secret Service are on the hunt for the shooter. What happens is told from the point of view of the news cameras (Sigourney Weaver), secret servicemen (Dennis Quaid and Mattthew Fox), a suspect (Eduardo Noriega), a tourist in the crowd (Forest Whitaker), The President (William Hurt), and then a final sequence which explains it all.

What a cast! What an idea! What a mess. I’m sure it was pitched as: Memento meets Magnolia, or “24” meets Short Cuts. I give the screenwriter credit for finding a way to connect all these people, but I have to take credit away for some of the most clichéd dialogue I’ve heard in a really long time. There are two really quite serious things that happen in the last 10 minutes, and the packed auditorium burst out laughing because of the line. That’s not a good sign.


And here’s the other thing, after you see the movie rewind itself twice, the audience gets it. We’re able to grasp that when you flash the time stamp at the bottom of the screen: oh, now it’s time for someone else’s point of view. And there were too many stories. Is the little girl who gets ice cream on Forest Whitaker’s ass important? Maybe, but is it a necessary element? No. I could care less about ice cream girl. The terrorists are far more interesting, and I wish we would’ve gotten a better view of their day. This could’ve been a taut 67 minute movie like Red Eye, but there were too many unnecessary subplots.

The acting in Vantage Point is good most of the way around. Sigourney Weaver is pretty much only in her segment, but it’s the opener, and she’s tough as nails. Forest Whitaker is lovable in a pretty poorly written role. William Hurt plays William Hurt better than anyone. The exception is for Dennis Quaid. It looks like he went the Renee Zellweger route on this one: “I’m a conflicted person, so I have to look like I’m sucking on a lemon.” I normally like DQ, and he’s had a rough year with what happened to his twins and all, but really, he’s pretty bad here. Oh, and when Matthew Fox tries to speak Spanish, it’s more like Ess-Spagh-Nole. Note to Matt: Just keep your mouth shut and look pretty, please.

I think it’s great that we’ve got a weekend where two of the releases play with subjective takes on an event. In The Signal, you get a disjointed horror/comedy with really effective parts that don’t gel. In Vantage Point, you get too much information for a really shallow plot, where everything gels but nothing is really effective.

So what’re these two worth. I’d say the Signal is worth a matinee if you like horror movies ($7), and Vantage Point will be great on DVD or HBO ($4). You may want to bring popcorn to Vantage Point, just to keep yourself busy while the movie rewinds (seriously, every time).

Daily Mirror Blind Item

From The Brit Awards

Which singer shocked fellow celebs by leaving white powder spread all over a toilet cistern. He realised he'd left behind the mess and went back to find someone else hoovering it up..

Jason Wahler Turning Into KKK Poster Boy

You know I don't watch The Hills, and so have trouble remembering who is who. My woeful knowledge is further contaminated by the fact that I did watch the first season of Laguna Beach, but none of the other seasons and thus am even more confused about which people made it to The Hills and which ones were left on the beach to become lifeguards and remake Sam Elliott's film at some point in the future. If you ever want to watch some creepy age play, watch that whole film.

Anyway, I do know Jason Wahler was in The Hills but I really don't know how he fits in with them. I do know how he fits in with the KKK, and from what I understand he could be their first ever celebrity spokesperson. No, they haven't made him an offer, and I doubt he would accept, but he sure has made his views known about the African American race on more than one occasion, and now it has got him into trouble again.

If you recall, Jason went to rehab last year after he was arrested for underage drinking, assault and hurling racial epithets at a cop. He would probably say it was because he was drunk. I think that is a bunch of crap and you do what you do, drunk or not.

Now, he has got himself banned from girlfriend Eva Braun's apartment complex. Actually I think her name is Katja Decker-Sadowski but that doesn't sound very white powerish so I think we should go with Eva. It appears that Jason got himself into a tizzy at the apartment complex and used the N word against a security guard at the complex.

A spokesperson for the apartment complex said, "Jason Wahler's racist remarks were uncalled for. He is no longer welcome in the building."

Guess they will be making future Hitler Youth in his car or back at his place with the other guys from American X. Eva here also needs to get rid of Jason. If she hasn't broken up with him, then she must agree with his positions and therefore she is also a racist. If you are her friend, I bet she says things like "he doesn't mean it," or "it's just because he was drinking." You will probably hear those same excuses from her when he starts beating the crap out of her.

How Come Pink Is Doing All The Talking?

I have to tell you that things really look suspicious when one person is doing a lot of talking and appearing to be overly gracious. Take Pink and Carey Hart for an example. There was a statement by HER publicist announcing the split, and since then it has been Pink, Pink, Pink who has been on the offensive.

Yesterday she posted the following on her blog "I wanted to reach out personally to all my fans/friends out there in the world.

"First and foremost, thank you for all of your support and love, it means a lot to me right now.

"The most important thing for you all to know is that Carey and I love each other so, so much. This breakup is not about cheating, anger or fighting. I know it sounds like cliché bulls***, but we are best friends, and we will continue to be."

"All I know at this point is that I want to make the best album I can, and Carey wants to do the best possible job he can with everything he has going on. He is a good man, so please support him as well.

"One never knows the future, but mine and Carey's just might involve beach babies and sunshine one day. Just not right now. Thanks for the concern and caring."

To put this in the language of people like us who are just regular people. You have a couple who are friends of yours that file for divorce. The wife says what Pink just said and you say to yourself, then why the hell are you getting divorced? First of all, I won't accuse anyone of cheating, but if you tell me that being married to Pink doesn't involve any anger or fighting than, you just don't know Pink.

I could see how he could get tired of her crap really quickly, and she wanted to make herself look good and so all the public posts and statements. Carey hasn't said a damn thing and he is probably thankful for that. I think he left her, and she knows that he was her best chance at a guy.

So far Carey has been a class act and kept his mouth shut. Lets see if that continues when OK! and The Enquirer start calling.

Lainey Blind

Heterosexually attached for a long, long time, he recently faced his inner gay and admitted the truth. His partner apparently took it well. As well as any woman can under the circumstances. She felt much better when she found out how much of the bank account she was entitled to. And given that he was the one walking, and he is the one who’s famous, he’s also the one who has to pay. A lot.

So now he’s broke – relatively speaking. In Hollywood terms, I mean. Lost his job, no work on the horizon, he seriously considered coming out as a way of “reinventing his image”, not for gay rights but because he needs the money. Only problem is, he was told over and over again that “no one will care if you’re gay”.

On the flipside, a fake Hollywood romance with a famewhore like Denise Richards for example won’t fly either since the ex will flip her sh*t and out her himself, preferring to be passed over for a mo over another woman. Me too!

He was encouraged to do Dancing with the Stars but pride got in the way. If things don’t turn around, it’ll be a last resort next season.

Brit Awards

The videos are just now coming in, but here is a quick :45 second clip of Mika and Beth Ditto from tonight at the Brit Awards.



This is about 3 minutes long, but was done from a cell phone. So, it is not exactly like watching HD.



Here is Mark Ronson with special guests including Daniel Merriweather and Amy Winehouse



Kylie Minogue performs "Wow"



Leona Lewis

Today's Blind Items

I love the C list. Seriously, they are the best. I would write more of them, but I want you to be able to at least have a chance at guessing. Speaking of guessing. You know the blind item from earlier this week about the A+ listers who both spent time with the same woman. You might want to be around in July or mark your calendars. That's all I am saying. So, back to the C lister. She is an actress who has done what I like to call this and that on television. A little of the one time thing and a few two or three episode arcs, mixed with a starring role in a tweener show. Now our C lister who is older than your typical tweener has branched out into some nice respectable B films with nice respectable B actors. Well, respectable for the most part. For now, lets go back to the tweener show where our actress introduced several other cast members to the wonderful world of meth. Although only 3 or 4 fellow cast members took her up on her offer, one of those who did now has a serious problem. Our actress was also known as the "stress reliever" to whatever guys wanted to spend some time with her. Or girls it turns out as well. No girls on the tweener show that I have heard of, but in her latest film she did manage to find a has been celebutante who got a role and slept with her. They also traded coke for sex with the comic actor who was in this very space not too long ago. C listers are the best.

Random Photos Part One - Brit Awards Edition

The Girls Aloud girls. I promise not to say anything mean about any of them. I kind of like them anyway, but Nicola, the one on the far right said in an interview this week that she started drinking because everyone kept calling her ugly, and to this day she always wants to get drunk when she hears something negative about her. My advice to her is instead of drinking, is to go ahead and print out your bank statement and send it to the offenders.
Beth Ditto looks really good.
Not looking so good is Amy Winehouse with that rash. But, to give her some credit, I wouldn't want anyone to magnify my face 1,000 percent either.
Is Ashley Olsen going to be wearing the same outfit when she is 50 because if she is, this is going to get really old.
I am not the king of X Factor but I believe Leona Lewis won last year. Am I right or am I right, or am I right? It is so good to see you.
I didn't even know Kathy Ireland was alive. Shows you what I know. Remember when she was popular? It was a quick 15 minutes.
Mrs. Roper is calling from the grave and wants her clothes back.
Have I told you how much I enjoy it when Kate Beckinsale wears those boots?
Jamie Lynn Spears rocking that 16 year old pregnant girl thing.
I love Natasha Khan. Love her and love Bat For Lashes.
The first photo looks like a mug shot. Aren't the boobs supposed to get bigger when you get pregnant?
Judging by the look on Mark Ronson's face, I guess Pamela Anderson made her proposition.
Yeah. Mika isn't gay.
It must suck to go to an event and if one of the 90210 cast is there some photographer gets the idea to put the pair together.
First look at Two Face.
The Arctic Monkeys. Love this look, but what would have been cooler is if they had worn the Boyz II Men matching outfits.
Shanna Moakler with one of her paychecks. I mean children.
I'm not liking what Rihanna is wearing, although I will be a sheep and go along with what you think on this one.
"So. Let me get this straight. The Jedi Knights were the good guys right?"
Will Young doing the cool look.
And then realizing how pretentious it was.
Take That. At this point, the people in the US are going, "who?"
The Osbournes brought their Kabuki doll.
You have to love The Kaiser Chiefs.

I'll Stifle Your Creativity

Look, I am all for the actor finding roles that bring out the best in them and making themselves a better performer. Obviously some actors have it and others, like Jessica Alba never will. What I can't stand is when an actor bad mouths a franchise that made them a ton of money and made them famous.

Hayden Christensen has been going around on his press junket for the crap film Jumper by saying that he will never work with George Lucas again and that Star Wars "wasn't necessarily anything you could feel good about creatively. It's not why you become an actor, to do stuff like that."

Ummm. So you became an actor so you could do crap like Jumper which the studio was planning on making a bunch of until this one turned out so bad?

Maybe you would like to go back and do what you were doing before you got lucky enough to get cast in the Star Wars franchise. Oh, and that franchise that stifled your creativity. I don't remember anyone holding a gun to your head saying that you needed to audition for the role or that you needed to accept the role when offered to you. Seems to have served your needs pretty well, so for you to come out and throw a bunch of that artist bullshit aqt the world now seems really f**king hypocritical since you were plenty happy to be cashing those paychecks the past few years and becoming famous long before you ever could have hoped.

Yes, you did a good job in Life As A House, but it was in a supporting role and those are always easier to do well in. Plus, it was a hell of a well written role.

All you have to say when people ask you questions is just say that you loved your time with George Lucas and thank him for everything and that you are excited about the next stage of your career. Don't be a snob, because you are not that good, and you would still sell your soul for enough money as evidenced by Jumper, so why don't you just shut up and be thankful.

Daily Mirror Blind Item

BRIT AWARDS 2008 AT THE REHEARSALS

Which Brits performer is winding up her fellow artists by nicking all their backstage sweets?

Pete Charges More Than Kate For Modeling

It is probably a good thing that Pete Doherty never really talks to his managers or agents because I think they would have some serious explaining to do to Pete about what they turned down. Lastseason.com heard about Pete and his money problems and though they would do a good deed by offering to pay him $10,000 for one day of modeling. That in itself is way more than they normally would pay, but figured it would be good publicity for the company and they really did want to help.

$10,000 would put Pete in the top 1% of all male models in the world. What did his people say? They said no thanks. Actually the said that the proposed fee was "batting substantially below the mark." So what exactly is the mark?

$60,000 for one day's work and that work day cannot exceed 5 hours. At that rate, Pete would be about the highest paid model in the world either male or female.

The company recorded the call from Pete's people with the $60,000 request and have just laughed and laughed and laughed at the idea that Pete would ask for that much. The company obviously said no, and took the original offer off the table because they felt they were being insulted.

So Pete I guess has enough money where he can pass up $10,000 for one day of work? I don't think so.

It Must Be Payday, Here Comes Michael Lohan

Well it must be payday, because here comes Michael Lohan. Yesterday, the White Oprah earned her monthly fee by calling the Lindsay photos tasteful and well done. Compared to the photos guys take of her, almost anything would be tasteful and well done. Now, today, Michael needs to get paid and the best way to get paid is to compare your daughter to Heath Ledger and say she is taking the same pills Heath did when he died, and then imply that your daughter is addicted to prescription pills.

In an interview with In Touch, Michael says that Lindsay was prescribed Oxycontin in 2006 and is concerned she may overdose on it. Ummm. Excuse me. She got the prescription for it in 2006 for breaking her wrist. Why on earth would she overdose on it now? Is she still taking it?

"Even before Heath's death, I told Lindsay that I'm very concerned about the pills she's taking. "They also had her on Adderall for her Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD), Xanax for depression and anxiety and Ambien for insomnia. "I'm not only fearful for Lindsay, but for all the other kids out there. Most of these young people shouldn't be on some of these medications - instead, they should get spiritual guidance, counseling and exercise."

Well perhaps as a parent you shouldn't be telling the world what your daughter has taken, is taking and what her conditions are. Perhaps instead you should keep your big mouth shut and just be a dad. The next thing you know you will be giving us a play by play of the Lindsay or Ali's sex life and how many people they have been with and what positions they enjoy the most and how many times Lindsay has got pregnant.

How can you even consider yourself a parent? You might be biologically a parent, but seriously, if you were my dad and you were telling the world what kind of pills I was taking and for what and for how long, I would never speak to you again. Will you not do anything for a buck or fame or attention? At least White Oprah has kept her mouth shut for the most part lately. I don't even blame her for the comments on the Marilyn shoot because I could see why someone would want to know her opinion.

Michael on the other hand seems to have only himself in mind and how much he can get paid for what he has to sell. You can add him to my worst people in the world list, and I would almost put him in the child abuser category. Not molesting or anything like that, but what he is doing is in my opinion a form of abuse.

Liz Hurley Is A Horrible Employer

I really dislike Liz Hurley so if you ever see her name anywhere in the blog, chances are that she has done something wrong or slightly wrong and I am exaggerating the hell out of it to make it even look worse. This one though doesn't even need any embellishing. Turns out Liz was supposed to go to court today for some employment violations, but she managed to get it settled so the whole world wouldn't know how bad she treats her employees.

Violet D'Souza is an Indian maid who has been working for the Hurley's for four years. In August, when she had been in the UK long enough to learn something and realized that she was getting screwed in wages and hours and everything else, she raised a fuss. She was promptly fired and another slave, I mean worker was brought over from India for the couple to exploit.

Violet would work seven days a week, every week for four years. She was on call 24 hours a day and as part of her duties was required to babysit, clean and cook. How much was she paid? She was paid $200 per week which according to records worked out to about $2.50 an hour. Currently the minimum wage in the UK is about $11 an hour.

Instead of just letting Liz and her "husband" settle, I think the tribunal should have stepped in and made Liz do the same jobs for the same pay for a month. That would have been much better. Instead, she probably paid this woman $20,000 or so to just go away.

Meanwhile in other trash Liz Hurley news. As far as I know she still has not kept her promise to the church where she got married. She and her "husband" were supposed to donate prayer benches in lieu of the cash they should have paid, but Liz and her husband have used every excuse in the book and really don't mind being called the worst people to live in the UK. I would nominate them for the worst people on earth actually, but serial killers and child abusers would have to come ahead of them so they wouldn't actually be the very worst people on earth. Pretty close though.

Oh, the photo above was not my first choice. I had a photo of Hugh Grant walking over to Liz's house today, but for some reason it would not upload. I don't know if her "husband" is out of town and Hugh is going over for a quickie, or if he wants to check out the new maid and see what she does for $2 an hour, but thought it was interesting.

Side By Side

Although it was fun trashing Jessica Alba yesterday, I thought that in order to be more sporting there should at least be a side by side comparison of the relevant photos. Now we can let the bashing begin. Since it is my blog, I will go first. You can see the terror on Janet Leigh's face on the right. Literally you can tell why she did not take a shower again in her life. (Thanks) Jessica on the other hand looks like she is either opening her mouth for a dental appointment or if we want to say she is an actress I guess she could be performing Psycho The Musical on Broadway. Set to the tune of whatever the hell you want to set it to."Someone's here. Who is it. Oh no, he's got a knife."
Jessica looks like a cartoon character here compared to Mia Farrow. I really hope they told her to go overboard and this isn't what her first thought was when they said Rosemary's Baby.
Tippi Hedren has some nice teeth doesn't she? That being said this is probably Jessica's best effort, although I don't know why they just curled the Drew Barrymore wig and couldn't spring for another wig. Look at the eyes on Tippi though.
Jessica here looks she has to burp or that some guy is coming to her with a new long distance plan she doesn't want to hear about. There is no way that Jessica could pull off Drew's expression even if she practiced and practiced for months.
OK, enough with the Alba, she is done for awhile.

"I certainly hope that a very thorough investigation is conducted."

The headline above is the statement from the attorney of Shawn Lonsdale. Shawn allegedly committed suicide over the weekend. Who is Shawn Lonsdale? Shawn was one of the harshest critics of Scientology around. He lived in Clearwater, Florida and after a confrontation at a City Council meeting with a Scientologist, he basically became a one man crusade against them.

2006 was his biggest year for making them mad. Almost everyday in 2006 Lonsdale would stand in downtown Clearwater beside a sandwich board that read "Cult Watch" in the heart of Scientology's religious headquarters.

He used his video camera to record footage of Scientology buildings, church staffers walking the streets, security guards watching his movements and verbal confrontations with Scientologists. He then edited them into a "pseudo-documentary" about Scientology that eventually aired on local cable television.

After his big video came out on public television, the Scientologists decided to hire a private investigator and set about ruining Lonsdale's life. The publicized past convictions and would call Lonsdale's employer and his landlord telling them they should get rid of Lonsdale.

Over the past six months or so, Lonsdale has kind of moved on with this life. He found a new job and didn't devote nearly as much time to his anti-Scientology crusade. I think this is why it was the perfect time to get him if they wanted him. Now the Scientologists can say that they had no reason to go after him because he wasn't doing anything to them anymore. Well, yea, duh, if he had committed suicide back in 2006, the world would have come swarming down on the Scientologists. Instead, now, it just looks like a guy who paid his rent every month, was friendly to everyone, had a new job that he loved and was moving forward, suddenly killed himself over the holiday weekend. If you want to read more about Shawn, you can click here.

Twins Schmins

Page Six is reporting that Jennifer Lopez and her dog also known as Marc Anthony have checked in to the hospital which has been awaiting this visit like the damn Queen was visiting. For all the people who work at North Shore University Hospital I know you work hard and that seeing a celebrity come into your hospital must be a little exciting. Fine. But, you need to remember that this is a celebrity who has never really had a hit movie. Yes, she has had some that were cute and kind of popular, but no hits. She hasn't had a hit record in forever, and she is married to a guy you will soon learn to dislike immensely.

I encourage all of you to take as many photos as possible and try to sell them. If someone is stupid enough to pay $6M for her baby photos, then you should be able to get $100K for one of her pushing, and probably $250K if you can get a photo of Marc Anthony watching himself on television while she is pushing.

I want you all to enjoy the experience and make some money. What I don't want you to think though is that she is a diva who needs to be treated any different than anyone else. Yes, she is a celebrity, but honestly at this point in her career, your local news anchors probably make as much as she does, and probably are easier to deal with on a personal basis. I say probably because some of those New York anchor people are in a world of their own.

Do you remember when you were younger how all of the people on the Love Boat were people you had never heard of before? That is Jennifer Lopez. If you are too young to remember that, then think about Hollywood Squares. I don't even think Jennifer Lopez could get a center square at this point, and Marc would have to share a square with Triumph.

As for any additional stories on the babies. Let me know when they are old enough to do drugs or when one of them kicks Marc in the balls, or even when one of the parents actually touch the children other than when they are getting paid by People. Other than that, I really don't care.

NY Daily News Blind Item

Which DUI-ed director/actor - goes this ridiculous but too-good-not-to-share story doing the rounds in Hollywood - wears a fake nose to avoid being recognized in public? It is said he lends it to his closeted actor buddy, who wears it when trawling for men.

Gene Simmons Sex Tape

Here is a clip from the tape. Very NSFW. His outfit is not very Fashion Week either. Take off your clothes if you are having sex, or else it just looks like you are using the woman for sex. Oh, wait. I guess he was.









While there may or may not be a Vanessa Hudgens sex tape, there sure is a Gene Simmons sex tape that came out today. Guess what? It isn't with his long time girlfriend Shannon Tweed. Instead, the long tongued one is with a woman named Elsa who is a spokesperson for the energy drink that Gene also endorses. I guess that maybe she was a little bonus to the deal, although since Gene didn't want the sex tape released, I'm thinking that Elsa might have been trying to supplement her spokesperson income with a little something extra.

To see a trailer of the video you can click here. It's up to you whether you want to spend the money to see the whole thing. I think I would pass and just wait for someone to steal it and post it on the internet. The trailer of the video is slightly NSFW, and very disgusting when you think of how many people Gene Simmons has slept with in his lifetime.

Today's Blind Items

This early 20's Italian film and soap opera actress is probably a B list in her own country if not a C. Then why the hell am I even writing about her? Well, she has a certain look and ability that enables her to transform almost seamlessly into almost any leading lady working today. Although it might be good for her if she wanted a career as a stand in, what she uses her talent for is something much more bank account enhancing.

Her ability first became noticed on one of her first projects when she was teamed up with this British/Italian actress who found our actress mesmerizing when she basically turned into Scarlett Johannson right before her eyes. Soon our actress found that producers and directors who had always wanted to sleep with Scarlett were beating down her door and paying her large sums of money to act like Scarlett. Now, our actress when not working has a huge list of very happy directors and producers from Italy, the UK, and the US who gladly await her quarterly e-mail which identifies which character she is portraying for that three month period. Her portrayal often includes erotic scenes from films or movies to make everything even more of a fantasy. For the first three months of 2008, she is portraying Ali Larter. A night with our actress currently costs about $20,000, and if you think that is too high, she has a waiting list.

Random Photos Part One

"Dude. I could really go for some White Castle."
The Babyshambles - Amsterdam
Hard to believe that the 17 year old Boris Becker who won Wimbledon can turn into a guy with a combover.
Have you ever heard of Oscar Pistorius? Me either, but I thought you still might like to see him.
Merrick Watts and Tim Rosso at the Ralph modeling awards. Tim is on the right and to me he kind of looks like Russell Crowe. Of course that could be the NyQuil I am taking right now. God, I love NyQuil.
I don't know why Kim Cattrall was at an awards show unless there is some type of event for fastest removal of clothing in a television program, but she was there. Actually, from looking at the other photos of her at the event it looks like she was the "date" of the Chairman of Daimler. Something tells me that a free Mercedes can buy lots of dates.
Jason Statham is a good looking guy.
Dennis Hopper was also at the World Sports Awards. Again, not sure why. A presenter perhaps? Demonstrating the dangers of drugs to athletes?
Yelena Isinbayeva is a pole vaulter. Compared to what she wears when she vaults, this dress probably seemed like a good idea.
Smashing Pumpkins - Amsterdam
I'm guessing that Sean Bean and Georgina Sutcliffe weren't offered $6M for their wedding photos. Maybe their honeymoon photos though.
When a junior size zero is baggy, perhaps someone should tell Rachel Bilson that it is ok to go ahead and eat at least a Saltine.
Patrick Dempsey, at the airport waiting for his wife. Bet she had fun.

Jessica Alba In Latina Magazine

Jessica Alba tries to show that she is really proud to be Latina by giving this interview and agreeing to display to the world that she has no discernible acting talent. All I can say is that I am so glad she wasn't given the role in any of these classic horror movies. She needs to stick to comic book movies.

Mark Ronson Has A Sure Thing

In case Mark Ronson gets tired of invading the cesspool Amy Winehouse calls her playland, Paqmela Anderson has offered to open her toxic chamber to Mark Ronson anytime he wishes to come over and play. Seems that Pamela Anderson thinks Mark is cute, and is really excited to meet him at the Brit Awards this week. Translated this means that if he wants some 40 year old woman who has been with half the world, he is more than welcome to it, and because she thinks Mark is cute and not just paying her, she might even be willing to make him husband number 4? I honestly can't remember if there were more. Did she ever actually marry Scott Baio?

You know, Mark Ronson should he choose to accept that mission will be going in after some really nasty man whores, and all he would really get out of it is the satisfaction of a injection to the ass a few days after.

Mark, I like to think that although you may be diddling the world of Amy Winehouse on a nightly basis, I am hoping that rolling the dice on the STD lottery with one person is enough and that you will run away from Pamela Anderson when she comes up to you and lets you know that she is yours for the night the week or just for a quickie in the bathroom at the show.

Thank You Denise

I think the entire world had pretty much stopped talking about and even caring about whether Denise Richards stabbed Heather Locklear and their friendship in the back by sleeping with Richie Sambora. Me, the world's biggest Denise Richards hater didn't even care anymore, until Denise herself brought it up again this weekend.

The only reason I can think of for her to continue bringing it up is because she feels guilty for stabbing her friend in the back and because she will do anything to get people to watch her new show. Denise says, "The truth of the matter is my friendship with Heather ended before Richie and I even started dating. That's one thing I don't know if people knew or not. I never had an affair. I never cheated on Charlie and Richie never cheated on Heather. If I was still friends with Heather, I would have never crossed that line with Richie at all."

So, let me get this straight. Richie winks at you at a party or flashes you some hundreds and you start to melt. The next day you call Heather and tell her that you don't want to be her friend anymore. The day after that, you call Richie and tell him that you would love to help count his money now and that you can do so with a clear conscience because you and Heather are not friends anymore.

Then when the world starts accusing you of stabbing Heather in the back you cry and scream and really start using chapstick like crazy. Man, I cannot wait until her show starts.

Feeling Crappy? Mandy Moore And Kraft Can Help

So there I was just reading and reading and something caught my eye that I thought most of you would enjoy. It seems that 23 year old Mandy Moore had just launched a website to make women feel good. Right now she thinks all of you feel like crap, and the fact that she is 23, has recorded five albums, launched a fashion label and starred in numerous films and television shows, she knows what it is like to feel crappy.

Suspending your disbelief at that last statement for an instant, why is Mandy Moore the person who can make you feel better about yourself? Her new website is designed to give you, the crappy feeling one life advice and inspiration. At this point, I said to myself, that I will let all of you decide if you want Mandy's help or not and I will just provide the web address.

By the way, the address before I forget is uPumpItUp.com. I'm not sure why the first u is in lowercase, unless of course it is because u feel like crap and only Mandy can make u a U and feel better. So, I clicked on the site just to see what it is, and to see if it could make me feel better. The first thing I noticed is that it is not a site actually started by Mandy despite what the press release and quotes from Mandy would have you believe. Nope. It's just a subdomain of Kraft Foods. You can read all about how their Mac n Cheese is the cheesiest, get a coupon for some free Crystal Light and Mandy and her team of experts will make you feel better about yourself while reminding you that using products from Kraft is the only way you can truly feel good about yourself, and that without Kraft, you are nothing.

Vanessa Hudgens Does It Again

Last September, Vanessa Hudgens watched her career almost go up in flames as nude photos of her were plastered all over the internet. I was one of the plasterers, and honestly thought she learned her lesson. Apparently not. If the latest rumblings are to be believed, just three months after the photos of her surfaced all over the web, Vanessa sat down in front of her family Christmas tree with her cell phone and made a little 45 second video wearing a red Santa hat and a thong.

In dialogue that is meant only for porn, Vanessa can be heard saying “I want Santa to come up my chimney because I’ve been a good little girl this year.”

Well I don't know if he came up her chimney or if he used protection. I am hoping protection because honestly those elves can get a little carried away and Mrs. Claus is a little too eager to open her legs after a few too many glasses of egg nog.

There is no response to anyone from the claim except that high school kids across America are readying their water based lubricants should in fact this story prove true. If it does prove true, it will just show that Vanessa Hudgens is quite possibly the world's biggest idiot. She was given a second chance at her career and to throw it all away just for a 45 second video is stupid, stupid, stupid. Look, I don't care one way or the other about her, but for once I sure would like to see someone actually make the right decision.

NY Post Blind Item

WHICH D-list TV star, who's famous for getting paid to party, distracts skirted ladies by pouring liquor down their throats as he gropes them?

WHICH fashion designer is lying to her actor beau? While she proclaims her love for her man, New York insiders say she really prefers "butch Mexican and Latino women" .

WHICH sweetheart Oscar winner doesn't always have a heart as golden as her locks? She's known for introducing her best friend for 10 years as "my assistant" when around other Hollywood types.

Emma Watson's Parents Are Actual Parents

What would you do if you found out your 17 year old daughter was hanging out with guy who is almost 30, needs a follow up trip to rehab and has slept with anything that has moved for the past ten years. Well, if you are a normal parent you would beat the hell out of your kid and lock her up in her room. Of course in these PC times, beating the crap out of her may not be actually allowed and perhaps may even cause a furrowed brow or two from the authorities.

Anyway, Emma Watson's parents did take drastic action, and actually acted like parents. There was none of that she is just having fun crap or it is good for her career or a wink wink thing. Her parents told her that she could never see Johnny Borrell again after photos of the couple sharing a cab and attending a couple of parties together showed up all over the internet.

The parents were pissed and rightly so. Emma says that it was just a coincidence that she and Johnny shared a cab. That is what Kirsten Dunst said and the next thing you know she is spending some time up in Utah reading Lindsay's bathroom scrawls.

Just because your child is famous or makes a great deal of money does not stop them from being your kid. Be parents, and take a stand. Don't let them do what they want and then five years later watch from the sidelines as they try and clean themselves up from the laxness you provided. Show some balls. Be like Emma's parents.

Blind Item Reveals

February 11, 2008


#2 This female singer/ male celebrity betrothed will have some more convincing to do after they spent time apart last night. She spent the whole evening pissed and alone and he spent the evening pissed as well at a party in a different state with lady after lady coming up to him and spending time with him. He never turned any of them away and never indicated he was still married.

Pink/Carey Hart

I think there used to be a who are in between celebrity and betrothed. Anyway, it was not that blind and as you saw today, they announced their divorce publicly. There is another one of them in here somewhere. Just need to find it.

Cruz Beckham Break Dances

Last night at Madison Square Garden the crowd got really excited when Cruz Beckham started break dancing on the stage and was actually good. It makes sense that the kid would have some talent and probably be able to dance, but I am just trying to figure out which parent showed him how to dance on his head. I don't think Victoria Beckham has probably even sat on a floor in ten years, let alone used her head as a dance tool.

It could be David who taught him because I think David is stuck back in the 80's and 90's and can't stop repeating lines from Electric Boogaloo or throwing down those same moves. Considering that all of Victoria's carefully planned surgical work would probably come apart if she even bent over more than 5 or 6 degrees, I think we can say that Cruz got the moves from Dad. Here he is last night at MSG.

Brooke Should Have Stayed With Andre

I don't do enough Brooke Shields gossip because, well frankly, no one really cares that much about her. Oh sure, she has a television show and people of a certain age will always have a fond place for her in their hearts because she was their fantasy or something when they were hitting puberty. But, think of people who were born in the past 20 years, what do they know her for? Two mediocre television shows, one of which she was the presumed star but gone outshone by everyone, the death of a friend in a Vegas hotel room, and her feud with Tom Cruise.

To jump start the gossip on Brooke, all you have to do is bring in her mother. Teri Shields is the woman of course who thought it was a wonderful idea that Brooke played a teenage hooker and to get as naked as possible prior to the age of 18 without crossing into child porn.

Now, Teri is old and mean, while previously she was just mean, and so now she is letting Brooke have it right between the pages of the Enquirer. Teri does the usual whining about not being able to see the grandkids or Brooke, but what that really means is that Brooke isn't coming over enough and slipping her a few bucks.

What I like though is that she thinks Chris Henchy, who Brooke married in 2001 exerts an unhealthy influence over Brooke. That is like calling the kettle black. It takes one to know one I guess. So, what does a mother in law do when she wants to say something nasty. "I preferred her first husband over Chris."

Well the quote kind of loses its impact when you realize she remembers Chris' name but forgets Andre Agassi's name. And I think the technically Brooke is on her first marriage because she and Andre had their marriage annulled even though they had been married forever. Therefore there is no first husband, but we get Teri's point.

I'm actually surprised that anyone from the Enquirer even knew who she was, or took her call. Maybe they did thinking she had something good to say and then they realized she was just whining because no one gives her attention. So, The Enquirer throws a little something together so the next time when Brooke is off cheating with some guy somewhere, Mom will come spill the beans.

Bam!! Martha Buys Emeril

Showing that if she can't find a date, she is always willing to buy one, Martha Stewart paid about $50M for everything Emeril Lagasse. The only thing she didn't get in the deal were the restaurants. To make up for it though she now owns his cookbooks, kitchen products, television shows, and gets to rent out his sweaty ass for about half the year as well.

As part of the deal, Martha gets to decide when and where Emeril gets to say Bam!. Hopefully she will forbid him from ever using it again in his lifetime and instead I think Martha should go ahead and claim it as her own. Just every now and then when you find yourself listening to her show and drifting off into a lethargy you feel you will never escape, she can just let loose with a Bam!.

Already Emeril is being prepped to take over much of the cooking functions from Martha on her show, and will also be spending up to 8 hours a day for the next few months learning various arts, crafts, and knitting so that he can talk about them and demonstrate them knowledgeably.

His first assignment is to make matching sweaters for everyone at the Food Network.

NY Daily News Blind Item

The sobriety of which troubled starlet probably isn't being helped by the fact that her uncle deals weed out of the spare room in her mom's house?

Today's Blind Items

Quite honestly this is one of the best pieces of gossip I have heard in the past six months. I actually heard about it on Friday and was so jazzed by it that I almost posted over the weekend because I didn't want to wait until today.

These A+ list female film actresses (when I say A+, there is no wishy washy, they are A+) are really different, but they do have one very big thing in common. A woman. That's right. While one of the A+ listers is no stranger to women, the other A+ lister is, or would have the world believe she is. However, each of our A+ listers separately spent several months with a woman who must be magnificent or beautiful or extremely talented in the bedroom to attract the interest of these A+ listers. The only thing these two A+ listers have in common is the huge amount of money they get for making films. The fact that these two completely different personalities and looks could both fall for the same woman just boggles the mind. That, and the fact that at least one of the A+ listers has never shown a propensity to spend time with the same team. This one blew me away.

Random Photos Part One

I put Bonnie Hunt on top basically because I wasn't really paying attention. That being said, I think she is far funnier than and far more talented than she gets credit for.
John Corbett and Bo Derek still going strong. She is almost 52 and looks incredible.
I guess Ashley Judd wanted to avoid a repeat of the see through, rain soaked white t-shirt incident from the Indy 500.
Aretha Franklin - Los Angeles
Dominic Purcell. I know you love him and he is such a nice guy that he brought his mom to the Irish Film and Television Awards.
I love Colm Meany, but he has seen better days than this one.
The CLEO bachelor of the year finalists.
A few things about this photo. Celine Dion is in Africa visiting a feeding station. Hopefully she got a meal because she was the thinnest person in the place. Also, cut your kid's hair and has he actually ever heard of or listened to Lynyrd Skynyrd or are you just trying to make us think he is cool.
Tough to Twist in pants when they are about five sizes too small.
Mariah Carey on the set of her new video. Guess it will be much like all her other videos where she wears barely any clothes and makes us all think all she does is walk around half naked drinking champagne. Oh, well actually I guess they are more of a documentary rather than a music video.
Kate Winslet looking stunning as usual.
Hello Katheryn Thomas. Where have you been all my life?
Jonathon Rhys Myers at the Irish Film and Television Awards.
Eric Bana in Spain. If you go through all his photos from that night he will make you crazy because he doesn't know what to do with his hands.
In case you are one of the three or four people on earth who wanted to know what Trisha Yearwood looked like lately.
Simply Red - London
Patton Oswalt approaches this award show as all celebrities should now and in the future.
Neil Young - Amsterdam
I know I am going to hell, but Mel Gibson doesn't look bad at all.

Lindsay Should Get Pregnant

I was just reading the absolutely asinine report that Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony are getting paid between $4M and $6M for exclusive photos of their new baby(ies) from Kneepads Magazine. I have no doubts the story is true, I just think that like Britney buying undergarments, it is just a big waste of money. That figure, if accurate would shatter the Brangelina record of $3.6M.

Are they Scientologists yet? If so, how much is the cut to the church? I wonder if these baby photos are just a loss leader for the magazines. They know they are going to lose money on the deal but it makes the celebrities want to give them exclusives in the future that people do actually care about. Honestly, are you going to go buy People only because they have photos of the baby(ies)? Imagine you could not find them online, would you be willing to shell out a few bucks to see the photos? Would you want to look at them longer than it would take you in the checkout line at the grocery store?

See, it just cannot do that well for them. It has to be for future considerations down the road. Now, what Lindsay should do is go ahead and get knocked up and I think she could probably get about $150,000 for her photos with the baby, maybe more if she knows who the father is. Then she can get pregnant each and every year after that and keep raking in that $100,000. At some point one of the baby daddies should make some money and so she could support all of her other kids off that money or her career could get back on track. Well, maybe not that last one. What about Mark Ronson? She already has that family connection and he makes himself a pretty good living. Plus, he doesn't really seem to care about how he has sex with if you believe the stories about Mark and Amy Winehouse. Maybe he won't do Lindsay because it would be kind of like a doing his sister by extension. I don't know, but Lindsay needs to do something because this Marilyn thing is a last gasp.

Rachel Throws Hayden Under A Bus

Look you know and I know that Rachel Bilson and Hayden Christensen were never a real couple. However, there are millions of fans around the world who don't agree with us. They have message boards and forums and have a unique way of communicating which will flood my e-mail within about two hours of this post. Anyway, part of that fiction is obviously that they are attracted to each other and intimate and whatever goes with that. So, in a relationship that has allegedly been going on for quite sometime, it must be disheartening for the couple's fans to read something like this from Rachel.

In the film Jumper I am guessing there is a sex scene between Rachel and Hayden. Well it turns out that Rachel was terrified of filming the sex scene with Hayden, even though she has no problems with sex scenes in the past. The Last Kiss comes to mind. Rachel had to drink shot after shot of booze before she was able to film the scene with Hayden. She also made Hayden also drink shots. Even with all that booze in the system, I bet there wasn't even a hint of chemistry or passion though. See, no matter how drunk you get, it can't change who you are, and these two have never been a real couple, and no amount of alcohol is going to change that or be able to allow them to pretend they are something they are not.

Daily Mirror Blind Item

Which model was ditched by her sporting hero boyfriend after he was fed up of her cocaine habit?

The clean-living star was petrified his pals would catch on to her one line in the morning and two in the evening ritual...

Fuhgeddaboutit

Three years ago, Paul Sorvino needed a little financing for a film he was producing. Not wanting to hit up his daughter Mira Sorvino for the cash, because lets face it, her husband really doesn't work and she just keeps getting pregnant, Paul went to the government. Specifically Paul, although for this post I really want to call him Paulie. Not Pauly, because there is only one Pauly, but Paulie. Anyway, Paulie went to Lackawanna County, PA and sold the county commissioners there on the idea of being involved in the motion picture business. He spun and he spun and the next thing you know the county lawmakers sold the warehouse that housed all of their road repair equipment and vehicles. "Hell, Jim we don't need that warehouse. All of us have a garage. We can keep them at our places. Just think about all that Hollywood loving we are going to get as producers."

Well in the three years since selling their warehouse and giving the money to Paulie, the County has not heard a word from Paulie. Phones are quiet and crickets are chirping. Plus, the missus are getting pissed about the bulldozer that is always blocking the minivan in the driveway.

In the words of County Commissioner Corey O'Brien: "We've heard nothing with respect to our investment. ... We want a full understanding of where taxpayer dollars are."

But Sorvino told the Associated Press that he resents the implications of the lawmaker's remarks. "To have my honesty impugned has never happened in my life," he said. "The record of how the money was spent was always available, to the penny."

Paulie also said that he hoped to be able to show the film to a distributor in three or four months. He said it is a wonderful film. Ummm. Three or four months before showing it to a distributor? On a $500,000 film? Yeah, Paulie you may want to start shooting that film. Grab your daughter, and her husband, and make a few phone calls to Chris Tucker because he owes you. The movie is called The Trouble With Cali. So what we do is make Cali a woman and the trouble with her is that she's pregnant and we don't know who the father is. So, they are all going to go on the Chris Tucker show to find out, but as it turns out Chris is the father. Love it. Do it in a weekend, and you are all set. Problem solved. Either that or make some calls and the county commissioner guy could go really quiet for a long time.

Time For Heather Mills To Spend Some Quality Time With The Judge

No surprise, but Heather Mills and Sir Paul could not reach an agreement in their divorce, so it is up to a judge to decide how much money Paul will have to pay. This would be an opportune time I think for Heather to go knock on the door of his honors chambers and remind him of how she used to earn a living and how she would be happy to give him a first hand so to speak introduction to how she earned her living for as long and as often as it was necessary. I mean what is worth to her.

Paul has offered $50M and Heather wants $100M so you know, a few minutes or a few days with the judge and then perhaps she has got herself an extra $25M. Just remember your honor to touch her stump.

The Associated Press says that Heather Mills was all smiles when she left the court today with her entourage. I didn't know that the guy who carries her boxes and the guy who combs her hair qualifies as an entourage, but when you are Heather Mills the only way you are going to get anyone to come with you is if you are paying them, and until she gets some money this will have to do. When she gets money, Heather Mills will be the most annoying person on the planet. You think Mariah is a diva? Wait until Heather Mills has money of her very own. Not money that belongs to a husband or money her trick gave her to go shopping. I am talking about her very own money and lots of it.

Mariah will seem like nothing compared to Heather. Oh, and you think Heather is all that interested in charities? Pulease. Only if it gives her publicity. If she really was, then she would take this deal and Paul probably would also. $50M to Heather and then $25M in a check made out in Heather's name to a charity or charities of her choice. Paul would go for that, but I guarantee you Heather wouldn't. Oh she talks a good game, but she would never walk it. She would want that $25M for herself. Just ask her.

Is She Serious?

See the problem with this story is that I don't speak enough German to know whether Heidi Klum actually said this or not. I know a little German. He is sitting right over there. Had to do that. Had to. You cannot honestly write a little something about German and not throw that joke in there. I think that movie employed more little people than any movie before or since.

Anyway, Heidi Klum told the German broadcaster ARD that she would be more than willing to have Britney Spears move into the home and stay with her for a few months. Yes, I know we are on the Britney ban, but this is another celebrity talking about her, and Heidi has already made it clear that she enjoys a weekly naked day with Seal and so I think Britney would fit right in.

The thing is I don't know if Heidi was serious and what she thinks she can do that no one else could do. Does Heidi have a little of that Dominatrix in her you think? I mean she has a nanny for each child with a nanny supervising the nannies and then someone supervising the nanny supervisor so I am not sure what Heidi could do other than hiring someone or just making her watch endless reruns of all the shows she has in production in Germany while explaining them to her all in German. Perhaps Seal could go through his two or three hit career and explain how he managed to land someone as gorgeous as Heidi. See, you thought I was tearing into Heidi a little, but I am not. I just honestly wonder what she thinks she can accomplish besides installing a bunch of hidden cameras and then selling the footage as a reality show.

Whose Idea Was This?

I know most have you have seen the Lindsay Lohan/Marilyn Monroe photos already, but I want to know who the hell is responsible for this tragedy. I think New York Magazine should have said, "you know what. This was a good idea, but Lindsay Lohan doesn't look like, act like or even remind us of Marilyn Monroe so lets find someone else and try this again. " This is just awful. I feel like I am paying an extra $50 to the hooker in Vegas for her to dress as Marilyn. The photos don't even come close to capturing anything in the original session. Thanks to nymag.com for the photos. Good luck trying to click on their site today. Guess people don't want to take my word for it how hideous this all is. If you are desperate to see the photos, you can click here. Be warned they are NSFW.

Charlize Theron Has An Interesting Philosophy

While speaking at the Dublin Film Festival, Charlize Theron was asked what she was going to wear to the Academy Awards. When she said pajamas, the crowd didn't quite understand. Seems that Charlize is of the opinion that unless you or your film is nominated, than it is not appropriate to go to the show. Not just for the Academy Awards, but for an award show.

"We are not going. I don't think you go to those kind of award shows unless you are nominated. I think it's a special thing if you get a nomination, or your film does. Then you go. But we don't have any nominations or anything like that in the house, so we sit in our jammies and watch it on the couch."

Now if all stars felt or acted the same way as Charlize then the Academy would have no one there. Of course one way they combat that is by inviting as many people as possible to present an award or read who wins or requiring that if you win the year before you need to show up the next year. I think it is an interesting philosophy she follows. She does lots of other crazy crap but this is one I think is kind of cool. Haven't you ever wondered why a celebrity was on the red carpet being fondled by Ryan Seacrest when you know they have no real reason to be at the show? Is it because they want or need the attention. Is it because they love getting dressed up, or they want a free dinner after the show? I think for the most part it is attention and also not being secure enough to be absent from a gathering where so many peers are. Are they afraid someone will get or steal a role or make some connection they could have made if they were there?

I think it shows a certain level of security from Charlize that she doesn't even give a crap one way or the other who is there or what goes on or who is talking to whom. Of course if everyone were that secure than we would have no Teri Hatchers in the world and we would all be bored and have nothing to gossip about.

Homemade Heroin Almost Kills Blake

Amy Winehouse's poor excuse for a husband almost killed himself after ingesting some heroin which was mixed with another substance. Obviously heroin is at a premium inside jail, as it is after all a jail and not a place where one is supposed to be able to check off a box and order whatever the hell you want. Anyway, Blake and six other guys decided they would mix their heroin with an "unidentified toxic substance" and as a result all six almost died. I'm thinking Drano, or rat poison, or something like that.

All six became violently ill within a few minutes of taking the concoction and all had to be rushed to the hospital. Earlier this week, Blake was informed he had failed three separate drug tests over the past six weeks and was ordered to spend one night in solitary. One night in solitary? Oh, that will show him. Yea. Let me see. Take drugs all the time and if I get caught three times I get to spend the night in a cell all by myself without my big ass roommate snoring all night. Where do I sign up please? Can I just confess once every few weeks to taking drugs?

If one night in solitary is the only punishment, then what the hell is the reason to not take drugs? If I am looking at many years behind bars for a crime, then why the hell wouldn't I want to take something to make those years fly by a little faster?

Hopefully at some point between now and when he gets released in the next five or six years, Amy will have moved on. If she ever gets back with this guy, she will never get herself back together again.

The prison where Blaaaaaake Incarcerated would only say “A small number of prisoners were treated in health care following the consumption of an unknown substance.”

NY Daily News Blind Item

Which celebrity sibling who can't stay out of trouble has a girlfriend-of-record, but also a much-talked about romantic incident involving a same-sex pal in the Hamptons last summer?