Full Frontal Friday

Full Frontal Friday is back and better than ever. Must be that whole Easter and fertility thing. Lots of great surprises, but none more so than this one. The photo above is a guy named Michael Lucas. Michael came over from Russia and built himself his own porn empire—he models and performs, directs, and heads his own studio. Not surprisingly, he’s kind of crazy and has a huge ego, but he’s also an undeniably interesting person and surprisingly likable. For a laugh I wholly recommend reading his blog: http://lucasblog.com/index.html , which includes his thoughts on the Eliot Spitzer scandal, his recent profile in The New Republic magazine, and highlights from his recent trip to Israel.

Other than Michael there are A listers from the present and past, as well as someone who looks like he probably short changed Marilyn Monroe.

As always, the photos are totally NSFW. Unless of course you are alone there in which case, I would hope that you would be having sex in your office and not just looking at porn. If you are under 18, go look at the half naked Miley Cyrus photos on the site, or go hang out at the mall.

For the rest of you, you can click here.

Four For Friday - A Kindness

I think everyone in the world is off today except for me. Quite possibly I could be the only person working. Full Frontal Friday will be coming up shortly. Oh, that is a bad choice of words. It will be coming up in a few hours. I almost feel bad doing that on Good Friday but hopefully this kindness will make up for it. Been saving this one for today.


So, this B list television actress from a very hit show that ended not so long ago, was walking through a park close to her home when she saw two girls who were about ten playing on the swings. One of the girls had a doll in her hand which she was swinging in a circle. She didn't pay that close of attention but thought that there was a nanny or mom watching the pair. Out of the corner of her eye she saw a flash and a mixed breed dog launched through the air and grabbed the doll from the girl's hand. The girl immediately tried to get the doll back from the dog and was bitten really hard on her arm. She started screaming, let go of the doll, and the dog ran away with the doll. No one came to help the little girl at all. The alleged nanny was not actually the nanny and did nothing to help and instead walked away from the scene. The dog's owner? There was no one there at all with the girls. Our actress rushed over to the injured girl and saw that the dog had left teeth prints but had not broken the skin. The actress calmed the girl down long enough so she could get an address for the girl. It was a house about a half a block from the park. Our actress took both the girl and her friend back to the injured girl's house, and explained everything to the mother of the girl. The girl's mom had apparently run back to the house because she had thought she had left the gas on on their stove and was just opening the door to go back to the park as our actress came up with the two girls. She gave the woman her name and contact information, but no one recognized our actresses name. Later that day, our actress bought a new doll and had it sent to the girl to make up for the one that was taken by the dog.

Random Photos Part One

Jools Holland - Sydney
At this point you should have tears in your eyes from laughing so hard. Have you ever seen anything more pretentious in your entire life? OK, well how about in the last month?
This is Chloe Marshall. She is a finalist for Miss England and the first plus size woman ever. She looks great and I hope she kicks ass.
A Fine Frenzy - New York
Has anyone ever seen Anderson Cooper look happier. This interview has become his porn. His own sex tape.
So, I really wanted to say "Tell her what's up" but figured no one would get the reference. So I will just go with the fact that this is probably the only time in his life that Seth Green will ever have two women touch him again. In the future they may look like women, but they probably won't be.
Maggie Q on the set of her new film. I was kind of hoping that they were going to need my basement for the film, but no such luck.
Not really Full Frontal Friday, but I'm guessing Lee Tergesen is trying to make up for whatever else he may be lacking.
I just threw up a little bit.
Joe Pantoliano isn't gay right?
You know you are in trouble when you start using Bai Ling as your muse.
I love Tintin. Meet the new Tintin. Thomas Sangster.
I just can't believe that David Schwimmer got to touch my Thandie Newton. I need to calm down because these feelings are the same kinds of feelings that cause trouble with the law down the line.
The Jonas Brothers - New York
Sinead O'Connor - Byron Bay

I Love Mickey Rourke

Whatever you may think of Mickey Rourke, I think we all can agree on the fact that he tells it like it is. He is blunt and to the point, and so when he is involved in anything scandalous, you get some great quotes. If you will recall, back in November, Mickey was charged with DUI while driving his Vespa. He swore up and down that he wasn't drunk, and the court agreed with him. They did convict him of reckless driving and he got some probation. He also actually got community service, but he bought his way out of it for $10 an hour. So, rich people I am guessing don't have to do community service.

Only the poor and indigent who can't afford to pay the $10 an hour are forced to do community service. How messed up is that? That is incredibly unequal justice.

Want to know how Mickey felt about the whole situation?

"I'm friends with most cops in the city and they told me the guy who got me isn't even liked by his colleagues. He's a 400-pound f—- unfit for duty. I said to him: 'F—- you, I'm not drunk.' I guess he didn't like that."

You know Mickey, I am going to have to say that most cops don't like to be cussed at, and if you were not Mickey Rourke, you probably would have felt the love tap of a taser for saying it.

As for the blond that was on Mickey's Vespa with him when he got pulled over. Apparently he didn't get lucky that night and that pissed him off more than getting arrested. Mickey doesn't know her name and never saw her after he was arrested. They were on the way to his apartment when he got pulled over. Well at least he has plenty of photos of her that he can see over and over on the internet and wonder what could have been, or how much she was going to charge.

Daily Mirror Blind Item

Which Premiership footballer is chasing his team-mate's girlfriend? The player in question is sneakily sending her raunchy text messages...

Get To A Place Where You Can Cry

Twisted sent me this clip from the Oprah show. I know, I know, but Twisted does live in Chicago and if you don't watch Oprah there, you get sent to jail. Sometimes for a first offense they send you to a reeducation camp. It isn't like Oprah can actually take credit for what he says. I am warning you right now, it is moving. Guys say moving when we don't want to use the word cry. Guys are only allowed to cry when when watching Rudy and Brian's Song. All other times we say it was moving, which is a manly thing to do, so used in this context gives us some breathing room. I realize many of you may have seen this, but for those of you have not, you really should watch it.

The World Of WD

Out of body experience.

So I'm pretty quick on my feet when I'm in a show and someone forgets their lines. I'm can be pretty witty when I'm at a party and I'm "on" but I spend much time out of the "on" mode. In fact, I pride myself being one of the least "on in my daily life" actors that I know. So that means when in real life confrontations, I pretty much suck. I always think of the response 2 days later. That's why I'm so excited about what happened this week.

This is nothing to do with the industry except that it happened on Hollywood blvd. I had a meeting in Hollywood about a short someone wanted me to produce. So after driving around for 20 minutes, I found a spot. I started to parallel park but as I did I realized that that car in front of me, a white extended cab pick-up with a trailer hitch was way overlapping into my spot. (And there is no car in front of him at all) So I'm nosing back and forth trying to fit my car in the spot it's a tight fit. Finally I'm in and I roll up a little bit more, ever so slowly, because I can't see his hitch and so I'm pretty much parking Braille method. I am going so slowly that I know I've reached his car because mine won't go any further but there is no rough bump. I roll back a half inch and put the car in park.

The drivers door flies open and this guy comes storming over to me.

"Did you feel that?"
"Feel what?"
"You just hit my car and shaked it"
"I honestly didn't feel anything."
"Well you hit my car. I have a trailer hitch on my car. Maybe you
didn't notice."
"Actually I did."
"Well it's a good thing I do or you would have ruined my bumper."
"You are in my spot."
"What?"
"Your car is inconsiderately overlapping in my spot."
"So?"
"And your trailer hitch is below my vision so I hit and probably dinged
my bumper."
"And"
"Which I would not have not done if you were not in my spot. So did
you come over to apologize?"
"What?"
"Did you come over to apologize? Because if you did, I accept your
apology."
"Fuck you."

At this point I look forward. I see on the back of his truck. I turn back to him and say.

"You are not allowed to act this way and have that on the back on your
car."

I point out the Jesus fish on the back of his truck.

"You are not allowed to act this way and then drive around with that on
your car. I'm not Christian but I know Jesus said some pretty cool
things about love, acceptance and compassion. None of which you are
showing."

"Just know you hit my car." And he turned and walked away.

I sat and couldn't believe what I said. I got out of my car. Not even a ding on my car and it was my bumper that "hit" his trailer hitch. So I made sure he saw me taking down his license plate (just in case I came back and my car was totaled) and I walked away.

Man that felt good.

DNfromMN - Movie Review - Run Fatboy Run

RUN FATBOY RUN

Release Date: 3/21/08
I love Simon Pegg. I loved Shaun of the Dead, and I roared through Hot Fuzz. I am ready for Simon Pegg to win over America again. It just ain’t gonna happen with this movie. I think this one will do fine, because there hasn’t been a romantic comedy released since Valentine’s Day, but it’s not spectacular.

There were a few belly laughs in the audience, but none were mine. It really almost plays like a kid’s movie more than one for adults. Which makes me credit the writer and director: Michael Ian Black (who is typically unfunny on all of those Best Week Ever/I Love XX’s VH1 shows) and David Schwimmer (also someone I find no humor in). There are a lot of sight gags, but it doesn’t quite go into Farrelly Brothers territory.

This is one of those movies where you’ve seen the trailer and you’ve seen almost all the highlights. It’s a short movie, but there are parts that just drag on.

Thandie Newton has the thankless job of just looking pretty and being a ping pong ball between Pegg and Hank Azaria. It’s a damn good thing she’s flawlessly beautiful.

It pretty much sticks to the formula for a romantic comedy about separated parents. Girl and boy don’t get along, the girl finds a new man, the boy feels threatened and tries to win her back, and you’re waiting 80 more minutes to see if she ever gets back with the boy.

I wanted to like this more, but I have to say, it’s not worth more than a rental. It’s mildly entertaining. It’s worth about $4.00 to me.

Ted C. Blind Item

Browhilda Frown-Free has just about everything a once desperately ambitious, unknown actress could desire: fame, wealth, notorious love, Academy Award notice, great bone structure, fab hair, free cosmetic procedures for the taking—everything but the freedom to love the one she's (really) with. Don't worry though, babes, Brow's been down this fake-amour alley before. She's a friggin' pro at navigating the affectionless twists and turns of the overly photographed.

Howev, BFF's latest man experience—heady as it all may be—has become slightly more than Browhilda's used to, what with her past liaisons of coolly arranged get-togethers. You know the age-old ersatz Hollywood plan: A couple goes out for a red carpet whatever; then they go in for separate, much more private dalliances with their same-sex partners. Brow's had this setup with almost every man she's hooked up with before.

But Ms. F.F.'s latest dude—who's more than happy to bed every slobbering femme he can find—has turned out to be far messier than Brow-babe would prefer. Not only does he womanize with indiscretion, he's stupidly starting to make a loud and rather visible stink about Brow's increased devotion to her current g-f. How does that Shakespearean saying go? Oh what a tangled guy web we weave, when at first we hetero deceive? Watch out, Brow, we be onto ya!

Today's Blind Items - From AP

What is it about women and bathrooms. Do you all talk about everything in there? So, AP was at an event this week and this is what was discussed in the bathroom.

This former A list film actress from many years ago, and now a B lister on television who isn't that old despite the length of her career was having a chat with another woman. They were discussing the length of a certain piece of anatomy on some actors they had been with. Our A list actress said that when she had sex with this C list television actor on her show, that he was really well endowed. She went on to say that it made a nice change from her husband. Yes husband. Seems that he is small and the only way he can get off is if he imagines that our actress is a man. Not much of a stretch if you ask me.

Random Photos Part One

“I think about what it would be like to have a daughter now, one who is influenced by Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, and Britney Spears – and, ugh, it’s so depressing. Where are the other young Hollywood role models who are cool, smart, and out there doing something with their lives? There’s a definite responsibility that comes with being famous. You shouldn’t be able to just dress up and look pretty.” Women's Health April 2008. Thank you Rashida Jones.
Johnny Depp on the set of his new film.

After this event, Brittany Murphy must have gone out to Sunset to work the street or something.
"Must get gin on the way home from work."
I'm thinking this is one Dancing With The Stars couple that is not going to hook up. If they do, I am taking up dancing.
I know I am a perv when all it takes is a little skin for me to think that Mel C doesn't look all that bad.
For all of you David Boreanaz fans.
Put some fake breasts on the ball and you have Victoria Beckham.
I think any night that David Arquette doesn't have to deal with Jennifer Aniston is a good night in his world.
You know those tribes in Africa that elongate their necks artificially? Brooke Shields is their Queen.
Hey Nicola Roberts. Good news.
You are not the ugly one anymore.
The baby bump is gone. Must have been constipation.
I'm guessing Elizabeth Berkeley has a double chin she doesn't want us to know about. Or she got a new chin.
The Tussauds people are getting really good.

I'm just happy to see Lucy Liu in anything other than those outfits she wears on her new show.
Lukas Haas is up for a Carson Daly award. Eat something man.
Keith Urban - Byron Bay
John Butler - Byron Bay
Rumer Willis - Fug Bay
I do love me some Rosario Dawson.
"Is that stick, or are you just happy to see me?"
Dry humping on the red carpet is really not that attractive.
Does Nicole Richie ever stay home? I'm guessing she is still breastfeeding though.
Xavier Rudd - Byron Bay
Will Estes. Nothing really to say, just thought you might like him.
Taye Diggs can get away with this look because he can kick my ass if I say anything bad.
Shiva Rose. I really do love that name.

Let's Talk Baby Photos

Originally I was just going to put the People cover shot of Jennifer Lopez and her twins in the Random Photos portion of the blog, but then I couldn't find anything to write about so thought I would go off on baby photos for a minute.

First of all I'm just taking a wild ass guess here, but for however long it took the photographers to take the photos is probably the longest that Jennifer has held her kids, especially now that she has an extra $6M burning a hole in her pocket. Hell, with that kind of money she and Skeletor can go ahead and finance at least another awful album and film. Of course that is if they get to keep it. How much of a cut do the Scientologists get? OK, this wasn't going to be about them. I already did that once today. Besides I think actually that Skeletor owes about $2.5M in back taxes, and the tax rate on this will be about 40%. So not even counting fees to agents, managers and attorneys they will only clear a million. Of course someone who makes $40,000 a year would take 25 years of working 40 hours a week or more to make that much.

I just think that although People skews to about age 65 or something close to that, it is at the checkout stands and so I think young women who see Jennifer Lopez looking all happy and airbrushed with professionally done hair and makeup get the idea that having a baby is no big deal and that it is fun and exciting and I will look just like Jennifer when I am done.

What they don't realize is that she probably has at least 2 nannies and might even need name tags to tell which is which at this point. I'm sure she will be happy when they can speak so she won't have to guess anymore.

Hey, I think it is great she had babies. I just know that the article is probably going to talk about the hundreds of thousands of dollars that she spent on the nursery, and the fact that it makes people feel like crap when they can't give that to their own kids.

Oh, here is the link to Kneepads.

Let Them Eat Cake - A Rant

Lets see the economy is in the shitter, unemployment claims are rising, gas prices are out of control, and people have to work multiple jobs to make ends meet.

Hello real world, I would like to introduce you to quite possibly the smuggest, most undeserving celebrity on the planet. Kim Kardashian. Does Kim Kardashian share your plight or your troubles? Does she care that you have to rush home from your 2nd job before the daycare starts charging you triple time? Does Kim Kardashian care that you have to cut back on your kid's activities because you can't afford to do them all now?

No, Kim Kardashian doesn't care about you, or anyone in the real world other than those who can help her. Here is what Kim Kardashian wants you to care about. This is from her website.

Since my recent car drama has been in the news, I figure I should give you the updates...

I only got to drive my new Bentley for one week when a motorcycle ran into it! It was a hit and run. :(

I've had the car for six whole months, but it had been in shop most of that time getting tricked out at Luxury Ride Motors-- where I bought it. Now my Bentley is at Platinum Motor Sport on Sunset Blvd. getting repaired! They say it may take about two months.

I've been waiting my whole life for a Bentley and now this!!! I just have to laugh -- what else am I going to do!?

Wish my car a speedy recovery in the comments and also let me know how you have dealt with car drama!

So basically she wants us all to wish her car a speedy recovery. Oh, and while we are at it we should visit the two stores she mentions because that is the only way she is not going to have to pay full price. She actually provides links to those two places on her site. And, at last count there are over 250 comments to Kim expressing sympathy that her car was damaged.

This world is nuts. What the f**k has Kim Kardashian ever done? She got filmed showing off the fact that she is quite possibly the worlds worst lay and that is all she has done. That is it. Nothing else. Oh I know her friends will e-mail me and say how she is a great designer and blah blah blah. No, she isn't. Then when she should be slowly fading away to become the non entity she is, Ryan Seacrest gives her a show so she can have a larger platform to show how little she cares about anyone other than herself.

The only good news I have ever read about Kim Kardashian is that this week the woman who has been f**king Reggie Bush when Kim isn't around confronted the pair at a Hornets game this week so that Kim would know she has competition. If Kim cried it is only because she and Reggie are not married yet so she can't take half.

I am so sick of people like Kim and all the other little f**kers on the Hills and Laguna Beach who are only famous for being at a high school that was picked by MTV. That is the claim to their fame. Nothing else. Yet somehow these are the people that our kids look up to. F**k me, Kim K pissed me off. I swear she could kill her entire family and I still won't put her on this site again.

I have never seen someone so arrogant and so undeserving of anything in this world. There are families that don't make in several years what her car cost, and yet she wants the whole world to feel sympathy that she only got to drive it for a week. And it isn't like she is paying to get it fixed. Hell, I'm not sure she even paid for it considering how she was whoring herself out to those companies.

I just hope and pray everyday now that the woman who has been f**king Reggie Bush gave him some hideous STD that he has passed on to Kim K.

If you want to submit a comment to her site, click here.

Positive Energy Makes You Pregnant

Here I thought a sperm and egg needed to get it on so someone could get pregnant. Turns out it is actually positive energy that does it. If you think it sounds like something a Scientologist would say, give yourself some kibble because you are correct.

Now Magazine is reporting that Katie Holmes wants to try invitro to have another baby. She wants Suri to have some friends. It must be kind of tough when you only get to see other kids when cameras are around and daddy is using you for publicity.

Katie is really concerned that Tom hasn't managed to knock her up again. Well, it is pretty tough when his bedroom is on another floor. People don't have sex when they share the same bed. How often do you think a couple would have sex if they had to go to a different floor or decide which bed to use, or make the trek back to their own bed after it was over. Hell, there would not be a population in the world but porn sales would go through the roof.

Tom says that invitro goes against the teachings of the Church. Well, since he is second in command I'm thinking he could go ahead and have a vision or fart or something and get that changed. A source says, "Tom keeps telling her to focus on Scientology methods of creating “positive energy” to become pregnant, which he's convinced worked the first time around, but Katie's losing patience."

I guess he means something like "I'm positive we are out of L Ron's sperm, so this isn't going to happen."

It's All In The Mind - Think Helen Hunt

If you had not seen the photo above already and I told you it was Helen Hunt sucking off Paul Reiser during their Mad About You run, or taking a turn with Bill Paxton on the set of Twister you could probably convince yourself it was her. Hell, I have seen the Virgin Mary on a tortilla. You can turn any blurry image into anyone you want. So, when someone says this is Lindsay Lohan and she is sucking Calum Best, I say, "looks like her. We already know she is not much of a prude, so ok."

Now, I'm not saying that it isn't Lindsay Lohan, and I love Celebitchy which is where this was first posted, but to me these facts are exactly the same as the fake Vivica Fox sex tape from a few months ago. The only difference was that was actually a tape, although blurry, and so far this is one screencap.

This could be any blond with long hair who enjoys going down on guys. Notice I said any blond, because honestly I am not seeing breasts in this photo so for all we know this could be John Travolta with a blond wig down on his knees sucking off Tom Cruise. OK, probably not because John is a little heavier and does have big breasts. So have them change positions and that might work.

Now with all that being said, could this be Lindsay? Sure it could. It also could be about 20 million other people.

Stealing A Show About Giving Is Ironic

Each and everyday all over the world people see a film on the big screen or watch a reality show on television, or hear a hit song on the radio and say to themselves, "hey I wrote that/had that idea/told someone that idea," and now someone has cashed in on it. Of course the vast majority of the time the people are out of their minds or their idea really has no similarities except in their minds, but that doesn't stop people from suing.

Now and then though there is some merit to a case. The Recipe Stealer aka Jessica Seinfeld comes to mind. The problem is that when you send something in to a show or company or songwriter or whatever and they don't ask for anything from you, for the most part you are going to be screwed and there is not much you can do about it. You cannot copyright an idea, just the literary expression of the idea.

Now, that being said, it still is kind of nice to see the big people squirm, especially when you think they have taken an idea.

And would you believe Oprah could steal? Me either, but Darlene Tracy is suing Oprah Winfrey for stealing the idea for the show "Oprah's Big Give."

Ms. Tracy who has four children, first pitched the idea back to Oprah's people in 2005. According to her, she hatched the concept for a reality show called "The Philanthropist," in which contestants are challenged to help the needy.

Tracy claims she sent her pitch to Ellen Rakieten, executive producer of Winfrey's talk show, and that Rakieten and another producer, Jennifer Thornton, wrote back to ask for more details.

Tracy contends she shipped off a fine-tuned business proposal on March 1, 2005. Four months later, Thornton allegedly told Tracy that Oprah's company, Harpo Productions was going to pass.

Tracy's first suit was dismissed for technical reasons. She had tried to sue Harpo and Oprah without an attorney and they cleaned her clock. Now however, she has an attorney and so they are appealing that dismissal.

Normally I would say that Harpo should always win this case. BUT, if the producers wrote back and asked for more information as Tracy alleges, then Oprah should just get out her checkbook, and give to Tracy and get this over with.

So far, according to reports, Oprah can't find a book deal about the Big Give because publishers don't want to be named in the suit. Just another reason to open the checkbook. A friend of Tracy's had this to say about the whole thing.

"Oprah's side has conceded that they didn't have a philanthropy show in development until they got Darlene's pitch. Stealing a show about altruism is more than a little ironic." If you want to read more about the suit click here.

Is The Child Abuser Lying? - Another Damn Hooker Story

I thought I was done with The Hooker. Ashley Dupre has made me say the word hooker more than all my trips to Amsterdam combined. And to make matters worse I have had to talk about Joe Francis again and again, but on the bright side, maybe he is looking at some more jail time.

So yesterday I just threw out the whole thing about The Hooker being 17 when this happened, simply because Joe and the GGW people obviously have had a problem in the past with checking i.d's and such. That is why Joe is now a convicted child abuser and I refer to him as such. I still don't understand why the FBI has not raided his offices to verify identifications with the tapes of girls. I would call them women, but I think when you are 16 and 17, you can still be called a girl. This is not to be confused with the kind of girl, the rest of his fellow inmates though Joe was with his long hair as they spent quality time with him each evening. Or at least I hope they did and that he is afraid to fall asleep ever again.

So after spending way too much time looking at Florida law last night, I have to agree with the child abuser that as long as The Hooker was filmed in a public location, she was above the age of 16, and no one touched her, she could be filmed stripping. That is Florida law. However, when Joe was running off at the mouth about the 7 full length tapes he has of her, he said this:

"We have some really great footage of Ashley," "Girls Gone Wild" CEO Joe Francis said. "There's a very good shower scene that alone is worth the money." Francis told the Daily News that Ashley was "a total 'GGW' groupie. She was really into girl-on-girl action and she was all over the guys, too."

Yesterday when all the crap hit the fan, he had this to say:

"We are getting pressure from her lawyer," Francis said at his Santa Monica, Calif., office Wednesday. "As soon as we withdrew the million dollar offer—he is just mad because her price has dropped. Even if she was only 17, we could still release it. There was no sexual contact. There's only nudity."

So which is it? Girl on girl and all over the guys, or no sexual contact? The ones they end up selling will follow the law, but if I were the cops, I might want to take a look at all of the 7 full length tapes before they suddenly disappear.

In case you are absolutely bored out of your mind today and want to know why a 17 year old can be filmed topless in Florida, read the case Lane v. MRA Holdings. Just do a Google search and you can find it.

I Like Suzanne Shaw

Until a few weeks ago I had never heard of Suzanne Shaw. Then I posted a photo of her doing some random lottery promotion, and the next thing you know she wins Dancing On Ice and Mum Of The Year. Coincidence? Hell yes. I had nothing to do with it, but it has made me pay attention when I see her name in print, and her photos as well. She is not an ugly woman.

She is however ignorant when it comes to foreign affairs. You know what. I think that is just fine. The Sun recently asked her which US Democratic Presidential candidate she preferred. Her reply?"I'm going to be honest. I've never heard either of these names before."

Who cares if she has or has not. I'm just happy to see that it is not only Americans who are ignorant about what happens outside in the rest of the world. I remember when I was in college and was blathering on and on about America, and some Australian student came up to me and asked me who the Prime Minister of Australia was and I had no f**king clue. Even after she told me his name I had no clue. The only reason I know who the Prime Minister of Australia now, is because ever since then I always check so what happened before doesn't happen again. The only reason I know the new UK Prime Minister is because I am always looking through UK newspapers and magazines and so his name pops up.

I am a little surprised she didn't know the name Hillary Clinton just because she was the First Lady for 8 years, but again, that was 8 years ago, and Suzanne Shaw was probably just a teenager. I say probably, because I am too lazy to go back and see how old she is. I think she must be about 24 or 25.

Anyway, I admire her for being honest and saying she didn't know who either of them were as opposed to trying to bluff her way through it. Pay attention PR person for Kristin Davis. That is valuable advice.

Daily Mirror Blind Item

Which naughty singer raised eyebrows among posh parents while dining out in a wholesome family restaurant? She popped to the loos every 15 minutes to "powder her nose".

Today's Blind Items

You ever just want to curl up in a corner and die because you are so embarrassed? Well, nothing you have ever felt would be like this one. Allegedly there is a tape of this encounter as well. So, to get to relive what I am about to describe for the rest of your life. Not fun.

So, there is the D list reality television celebutante who has been in this space before and others, usually accompanied by her friend who is also a celebutante. Anyway, at a party this week and our celebutante sees a guy she has spent some time with in the past. Weekends, nights in hotels after a party. A hookup who usually takes care of her, but someone she really likes. He is an athlete. Football player to be exact. Very good player. Excellent player. Superstar really. Also married. With child/children. Been married a very long time. Went with his wife to this party. Our celebutante didn't know that. Didn't know that when she snuck up behind him this week, and slipped her tongue in his ear, that she would feel a tap on her shoulder, turn around and face the wife. You could see the looks on the faces of all three were in shock, but the only words anyone heard were our celebutante saying, "You're married?" "How long have you been married?"

I cannot wait to see that tape.

Random Photos Part One

Danity Kane and virgins go together like...well really like nothing. Can they even remember that far back?
Chuck Berry - Amsterdam
Bindi Irwin debuts her clothing line by walking the runway.
Amy Winehouse joins this week's nudity parade. Do you only get impetigo on your face or can that be an all over kind of thing?
These are just a couple of models at the Gucci fashion show in Sydney, but I wanted to get your opinions on the little measles on the guy's tux. Yea or Nay?
Have I told you how much I like Grace Park? Well, now I have.
In case you were wondering what happened to Edward James Olmos. Well some of you were wondering. OK, a few.
It really looks like the NBA players are posing with some cardboard cutout of Donatella Versace and having to pay $3 for the privilege. It really is her though.
See. You really can't fake those lips. Well you can, and I'm sure she has spent some money, but you get what I mean. Maybe you don't though and you have just been staring at Jonathon Rhys-Mears.
A couple who only dates when the world thinks they are divorcing isn't that great of a couple.
Laura Bryna - New York City
Lets take a vote on whether JC Chasez is gay.
Wow. I think at this point I would rather almost date the pit bull and not Jessica Biel. Her "trainer" must have made her mad.
Jamie Bamber looks pretty good. First time on the site I think.
Just easier to copy. Thinking hurts too much for Jessica Simpson. Oh, and the Mavericks lost so her jinx apparently spreads to all Dallas teams.
Sheryl Crow - New York
Russell Brand was in LA, and I didn't even know. This is one guy I would love to hang out with.

If I wore what Mark Ronson is wearing in this photo, I would look like some fat guy in a 70's porn film. It is almost like a leisure suit, and yet, he makes it look good.

I Don't Want Her To Be A Judge

Are the folks over at Miss USA that desperate? Extra reported yesterday that Heather Mills is going to be one of the judges for the Miss USA pageant. Now, I'm sure the owner of Miss USA, Donald Trump thinks that by having Heather be a judge that the ratings will increase. I don't think so. If he wants ratings to increase he needs to send that 17 year old who was shilling his vodka while naked over SuperBowl weekend. That would increase ratings.

If you want to have a former hooker and porn star be a judge, get the hooker everyone in America knows. Ashley Dupre. Why do we need to import hookers to judge a beauty contest? America is not the best at everything, but I will put our porn stars and hookers up against anyone in the world.

This is the Miss USA pageant. I want homegrown hookers and porn stars judging who is going to get the chance to be the next Miss USA. Could Trump not find anyone other than one of the most despised women in the world to come judge? Did everyone else say no?

Come on Donald. You must know some hookers and porn stars from right here in the USA. Don't outsource one of our best industries.

One More Hooker Story

I am already getting tired of Ashley Dupre, also known on this blog as the hooker, and I think this is going to be it for her for awhile. So, I'm sure you have heard by now that the hooker was a guest on the GGW bus for an entire week. So, there obviously was no point in Joe Francis keeping his $1M offer on the table, and why would Larry Flynt or Penthouse or any of the others throw money on the table now? GGW has seven full length tapes of the hooker doing everything imaginable with guys, girls, hard core, soft core, and so there is really nothing left for her to sell. Within the next month or so most of those videos will have worked their way across the internet and everyone will have seen what they wanted to see. What will Ashley Dupre get for all of her sex tapes? See that hat she is wearing in the photos? That and the Greyhound bus ticket the child abuser bought her are all that she is going to get.

I think it says a lot about a person that within days after turning 18 she goes on the GGW bus to spend a week f**king and sucking guys and girls and probably even Joe Francis himself. Not hard to see how she became a hooker. After that week of basically giving it away for free, she probably realized that someone somewhere would pay for her services.

So, now her only possible sources of income are going to be a film and a book. My guess is she will burn through that money by the time she is 30 or so, and then she will need to find some rich guy and pull a Heather Mills.

Now, honestly the question that has been bugging me all night and this morning about the week on the GGW bus is this. How old is Ashley Dupre? Was she really 18 when she was first filmed? If she was not 18, then I would love to see the look on Joe Francis' face when he found out. I just think that the day she turned 18 she was getting naked. If she was in that much of a hurry, what did she do the night before she turned 18, or two nights before?

Why American Idol Sucks

I know the pain of not getting into see a favorite show. Each year I would enter the Saturday Night Live lottery for tickets, and each year would never get in. Nothing. Not even the dress rehearsal, which by the way is actually the show you want to see because you get to see more stuff, and you decide what the rest of the country sees. It took years and years and years, and I never got in the regular way. I didn't have the patience to stand outside and hope to get in. Each Saturday people would line up to try and get in which was only possible if the lottery winners didn't come and if you got in the line about 18 hours before showtime. I did finally get in to see the show one year, but it was through the musical guest. A couple of us sat there in the audience for the dress rehearsal and for the show. Because of me, a couple of people in the standby line who had been waiting for 18 hours didn't get in to see the show. I feel guilty now.

I got an e-mail from someone last week, and I am going to take out all the identifying information, although I will say they do comment all the time.

I GOT AMERICAN IDOL TIX!! IT ONLY TOOK A YEAR, but I finally got them. Will see the taping and not the rehearsal!!

Pretty cool huh? Think they were excited? I was really happy for them. It is so cool when people get that excited about something.

Here is the e-mail I got today from the same person.

Didn't get in last night -- they had more vip's than anticipated so they bumped the back 1/3 of the line.

The back 1/3 of the line? So, American Idol let me get this straight. You have people who have been waiting for a year or more to get tickets, and have in some cases planned vacations around these tickets when they finally get them, get bumped because VIP's who could not even get on the Surreal Life are crashing the show?

Kids are left crying, the ones in the wheelchairs rolled home, just so some guy from the first season of Temptation Island can score with this girl he has been trying to date. I understand how the ticket system works at American Idol. No one is guaranteed to get in even with a ticket. I understand that. However, the vast majority of people when they are notified by American Idol to be at the show on a specific date after a year or more of waiting think they are getting in.

I understand about slightly overbooking the show because some people are not going to show up. But overbooking by 1/3 is outrageous. "Sorry folks. Head back to Kansas or wherever you come from. We'll put you back on the wait list and maybe you will get in next year. Don't care if you hate us or are mad at us or even watch us again. We are television Gods and don't need you. Now make way for the judge from Celebrity Boxing."

Audrina Patridge Is A Naughty Girl

So what happens when you are just out of high school, think you are hot, want to be in Playboy and have access to a great photographer? Why you take "test" shots of yourself to try and get into Playboy. What really happens is that the photographer who was a friend of yours stares at your pictures every night until one day you get famous. Then, he goes ahead and sells them and the rest of the world gets to stare at your naked body.

It's working because I really haven't stopped looking and I don't even like The Hills. Here is the statement that Audrina released about the photos. "I took these photos years ago when I was just out of high school and beginning to model. I was young and very trusting of others and I didn't know to protect myself. It is a lesson learned, for myself, and hopefully for the young girls who look up to me."

Let me give you a piece of advice. Never, ever, ever pose naked unless you are prepared for the entire world to see you naked. Don't trust anyone, or believe the stories they tell you about keeping them safe. The photos will get out. Same goes for videos you make or anything else that other people in the world will like. Don't do it.

To see all the photos in their NSFW glory, you can click here.

Oprah Helps Another Scientologist

Oprah Winfrey's Harpo Productions has signed Kirstie Alley to a production deal which could eventually lead to a daily show for the actress in a similar vein to Rachael Ray and Dr. Phil.

“Kirstie is a tremendous talent who is incredibly relatable and a true fan favorite, and we are thrilled to welcome her to Harpo,” said Tim Bennett, president of Harpo Productions. “Audiences love her and it’s easy to see why: She is always at ease, whether speaking up about the most intimate aspects of her life or even appearing in a bikini on the ‘Oprah’ show. We are looking forward to working together to bring viewers everywhere her distinctive voice and comedic flair.”

Kirstie then responded by saying, “I’m very open with what I’ve been through in my own personal life, and nothing—I mean nothing—is off-limits for me to talk about. Nothing shocks me,” Ms. Alley said. “I’m a great listener. I’m a good comedian. And I won’t lie—I live a beautiful life. So I hope to bring those elements together to offer something totally fresh for the television audience.”

First Oprah lets Tom Cruise dance around on her couch so he could show the world that he was in love and that he really does love women. Now, Oprah is giving an entire show to Kirstie Alley. She is going to let Kirstie Alley loose on the world for an hour a day.

If so, we can look forward to more quotes like this from her.

This one was after attending a Scientology conference:
"I'm walking out an entirely different being, and I mean entirely different.” So far so good. “My viewpoint on the fourth dynamic and mankind and other people changed. I liked animals more than people! OK, I liked certain people, but the idea of 'mankind' really irritated me! Then I realized why mankind upset me so much - it's because I wasn't taking responsibility!”

The one that gets me though is this:
"I can't even tell you how many people who've interviewed me have gone into Scientology."

So basically she is saying that if she can have some time alone with you as Oprah is going to give her each and everyday, that she can get all her viewers to go into Scientology. Now, I don't think it will be overt, but I think each and everyday there will be just that little nudge or prodding to get people where she wants them to be. Will she get a commission? Will Oprah?

Someone Is Lying

Have you been keeping track of the Daniel Smith inquest down in the Bahamas? In case you haven't, it is getting really interesting. Two days ago Larry Birkhead testified, and yesterday it was Howard K's turn. My conclusion is that someone is not telling the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.

When Larry testified on Monday he said that he knew Daniel was stealing Anna Nicole Smith's methadone and that Anna was also his supplier for at least Ecstasy and maybe other drugs. Anna had discovered by using video cameras that Daniel and his friends were stealing her methadone. Daniel had also recently had a problem with sedatives. Larry did change his story this time and said that Anna wasn't the one who gave Daniel methadone. Hey, when you catch your kid taking your methadone and don't stop him from taking it again and again and again, it is thee same as giving it to him. That is just semantics to say she didn't.

Anyway, yesterday, Howard K did his best, "huh?" and "I don't remember" spiel. As far as Howard K was concerned, his impressions were that Daniel had never used drugs and still doesn't believe that Daniel ever took drugs, let alone overdosed on them. He did admit to taking photos of Daniel's dead body, but said they were just for Anna because she wanted to make sure her kid was really dead.

Howard K said he didn't really have any time to spend with Daniel because he was busy with Anna's legal work. OK, that is a big bunch of crap. Howard K was always with Anna and always around. He acts like he saw the kid once a month to just say hello. Uh huh.

It is possible that Howard K and Larry are kind of working this thing together. By having two conflicting versions of the story, then it is more likely that no one will be criminally charged in Daniel's death and that it will be ruled an accidental death. Then, Howard and Larry can get on with the next step of their plan. I honestly don't think we will ever know the entire story. Neither of these guys looks like the deathbed confession type, and definitely will not spill their story to an outsider. I do think though that one of the two will end up dead in very mysterious circumstances at some point.

Does Everyone Hookup On Dancing With The Stars?

Star Magazine is reporting today that Drew Lachey has been having an affair with his dancing partner, Cheryl Burke. Drew, who is married, and who, to his credit survived a few years as Jessica Simpson's brother in law was caught by Cheryl's current boyfriend having oral sex with Cheryl in Cheryl's dressing room during the tour that just completed.

Cheryl's boyfriend Matthew Lawrence ran out of the room crying and screaming when he saw the pair. Also, the next day it was Drew who allegedly had to be kept off Matthew and Matthew's brother Joey not the other way around.

Now, I love Star and I am sure they believe what they are printing, but there is something really strange about this whole thing. So what you have here is Drew, who has always appeared to be a happily married man. Although happily married does not always equate to a guy who won't take what is presented to him, he really doesn't seem like an ass, but from now on, he will have to be moved to the ass list. I mean this is the guy America voted for because he was so nice and his wife was there every week at the show and was supported every week by his brother. Plus, he has a kid, so you just were hoping better for him.

Cheryl has just gone from one celebrity to another, although categorizing Drew or Matthew, or even Joey as a celebrity anymore is a bit of a stretch. So, I want you to picture this. According to Star, when Drew and Cheryl were caught, they were performing oral sex on each other. Matthew walked in on the pair (apparently the doors don't lock), saw them doing a 69 and ran out screaming. He had gone to the dressing room to get something he had left behind. I'm guessing it was his manhood.

Who the hell does a 69 in a dressing room? Dressing room sex is about quick and dirty, not laying down like you are in a hotel room. That is the thing that I find most troubling about the whole story. Find me one other instance where, there was dressing room or restroom 69. There are none. It is a quick and greedy situation, not a lets stay here for the next 5 hours. The show was over, and people were getting ready to go to their hotel rooms. This was not the time for a drawn out encounter. Plus, have you seen Cheryl Burke? She isn't that great looking. Drew would have been much better off finding some groupie from the crowd. If you are going to get caught, might as well get caught with someone hot.

I think something went on, but I don't know if we will get the real story until Lea Lachey files divorce papers and then speaks to one of the weekly magazines.

Daily Mirror Blind Item

Which macho boybander is devastated after getting dumped by his secret boyfriend? The pair split up after their "mutual friend" became very jealous.

Today's Blind Items

By request, I have brought back the Avatars, so you can now use them on comments again.

#1 - This, by definition A list television actor, and B list film star is one of your favorites. He is also married with child/children and aging. Still one of your favorites though. He might not be for long though once the word of his new relationship with this up and coming gorgeous, very young, but legal C list actress poised to be B and higher and doing it in seemingly an instant.

#2 - This aging B list film actress, is probably closer to C now, than the A list of which she was once on the cusp of achieving. She is currently filming a movie with one of the most eclectic casts in quite some time. Really eclectic. The problem is her drinking. She is already loud. You throw in the fact that she drinks almost non-stop each and everyday, and the last hours of shooting each day are a nightmare for everyone. She throws things, hits people, yells at them, and just becomes more and more of a mess as the day wears on. The producers waited too long to get rid of her, but her part has been reduced dramatically because of how long it takes her to film each scene. I won't even tell you about the time she pissed herself in front of anyone. Whoops. I guess I just did.

More Kristin Davis Photos

Sometimes I think they are real, and sometimes I can't tell. There is a new batch that has been released and they are not from the same source as the original photos released yesterday. It is becoming clear that there is no sex tape out there. If anything, this is a bunch of photos from a relationship she had with a guy about five years ago. The latest batch of photos have some with her face and some that don't. Obviously, they are all NSFW.

Random Photos Part One

RIP Anthony Minghella
Duffy - New York City
Lots of guys in this edition, and I have used up all my snark magic for today so I am going to be nice to almost everyone and just let you enjoy.

Damian Lewis
Hell, even Channing Tatum looks good. Maybe lose the goatee.
I like Cheyenne Jackson's tie.
The legend that is Alan Cumming.
I must be out of snark because Hilary Duff looks really good. Apparently sex with a pro hockey player must bring out the attractiveness in you.
Ummmm. No, I will be nice, and honestly Gwyneth Paltrow doesn't look that bad.
You know I love Graham Norton, but he needs to let those pants out just a little bit, or get a bigger sock for maximum effect. I'm guessing that is what he was going for.
Florence And The Machine - London
I don't really have anything to say, I just like the last name of Eduardo Xol. How the hell do you pronounce that anyway?
Now, at the premiere of Stop-Loss last night which stars Ryan Phillipe was the actress Missi Pyle.. Hmmmm. Does she remind you of anyone?
There is going to be a baby at some point right?
When I see this suit and the way it fits Kevin Spacey, I really start to discount all those gay rumors.
Jake Silbermann
In case you had wondered what the hell happened to Joseph Gordon-Levitt, well here he is.
You can use handcuffs, throw yourself at him, or just get naked, but I don't think Wentworth Miller is going to be all that interested.
Speaking of Ryan Phillipe.
And for those of you who like your men a little more seasoned, here is Ralph Fiennes.
So, do you think it was the Jamaican sun, or the pot that is giving Prince Charles that reddish glow? I know I made a joke last week about him smoking pot while he was in Jamaica, but can;t you just see the Prince and Camilla laying in their hotel room smoking a big fat one?
Ozzy Osbourne - Sydney

The Hooker And The Child Abuser

Ahhh, it is like a match made in vice heaven. After spending the past several months keeping his hair long and feminine for all his prison buddies, Joe Francis is back on the outside now and has made an offer to the hooker. I know she has a name, but she has so many names within her name that I just like to refer to her as the hooker, and we can call Joe, the child abuser. Not that he has to register as a sex offender mind you, because then people would know where he lives and kick his ass on a daily basis.

So, the child abuser offered the hooker her $1M to give an interview to GGW Magazine and to have her very own DVD. The child abuser says that the hooker doesn't have to get naked which is a first. Until this scandal broke, I doubt she earned any money without taking off her clothes first. Now reports are that she has made $200,000 from the downloading of that awful song of hers.

"Her face is on the cover of every newspaper in the country," Francis said in a statement. "It's clear that the public wants to see more of her. This is a serious offer and I hope she gets back to me right away."

Hey, if there is money around she will smell it, and the child abuser will have another person he can exploit. So, if she isn't going to get naked on the DVD, what exactly is she going to do? Talk about world politics? Explain how she can charge $1000 an hour despite being uglier than most of the people on earth. Sing? I mean if this is 45 minutes of her, what is it going to be? I'm surprised actually that she hasn't been on Larry King. I know he would love to marry her. This would be right after he asked her a question like, "You just did this once or twice in your life right?"

The child abuser is currently awaiting his trial on tax fraud charges. The child abuser claims he is innocent, and refuses to plead guilty. Yeah, remember that when he changes that plea next week.

Jeremy Geffen Is An Ass

Jeremy Geffen is the manager of D12. In case you are not familiar with them, they are the group that launched the career of Eminem as well as some other big names in the hip hop industry. Now Jeremy shares the same last name as David Geffen but they are not related. If they were related, this would have never happened because David would have kicked the ever living crap out of Jeremy before any of this happened.

Jeremy was arrested last Thursday and was arraigned yesterday here in LA. Geffen is charged with sexual assault on two teenage girls. He stands accused of 14 felony counts including rape using drugs, possession of cocaine and providing cocaine to a minor - as well as two counts of unlawful sexual intercourse. The crimes are alleged to have taken place at a number of Hollywood nightclubs and Geffen's home between 2006 and 2007. He is currently being held on bail of $2 million. If convicted, the 35-year-old faces 20 years in prison and he won't get to spend anymore time with his BFF Lindsay Lohan.

Yes, they are buddy buddy, but I am sure she had no idea any of this was going on. I mean if you are the BFF of someone would you know they used cocaine or had sex with girls as young as your little sister and that to make sure they wanted to have sex with him because he is 35, he plied with them coke? Would you know that if they were in your intimate circle of friends? If you were a heavy user of coke and someone in your inner circle had access to coke, would you get it from him, or from some stranger?

Look, Jeremy Geffen is an asshole, and whether he is convicted of the crimes he has been alleged to commit, the fact doesn't change that he is an ass and that something was going on. What kind of 35 year old guy likes hanging out with 16 year old girls? Does it give you some kind of freakish power because they don't know how to say no and haven't heard your crappy ass lines? Can you not get someone who is your own damn age or at least legal? Can't find someone even in their 20's? Now, I like to think that 95% of the people are good people inside, and so I am going to give Lindsay Lohan the benefit of the doubt that she didn't know any of this ever happened, and that she will not be drawn into this case in anyway other than as a name for the reporters. If she does get drawn in though, or is used as a witness at trial, I think then I would like to ask her some of my own questions, and maybe I would put her in the other 5% right next to some others like Diddy.

Kindness Plug

As always, the words are not mine, but that of the submitter. When I put it like that it sounds kind of kinky, so how about, I didn't write it. The person who e-mailed me did.

Well, it's that time of year again, and I'd like to remind everyone about the folks out there who work so hard donating their time and energy helping all those adorable little bunnies that people take home from the pet shop for their young children during the Easter season.

As the slave to 7 house rabbits of my own, I can personally attest to how much work rabbits really are. Usually we like to say that they take as much work as a dog or a cat, but that's not really true. They require much more time, energy, and interaction. Like dogs and cats,
they must be spayed or neutered. They need a proper diet, several hours of exercise a day, interaction with people and preferably another rabbit. They need to live inside, and you need to have access to a vet who specializes in exotics.

Most folks don't realize this when they bring home that adorable critter for little Johnny or Susie for a special Easter surprise. And when Johnny or Susie aren't old enough to care for their new pet themselves, or mom and dad get tired of the mess, or maybe little bun- bun nips a finger, or marks grandma's antique rocking chair as part of his territory, bun bun is no longer welcome.

What happens then? Most often, the rabbit is taken to a nice wooded area, or a park, and turned loose to "live in the wild". This is literally a death sentence. They have no sheltering or food finding skills. They fall prey to predators or starve to death.

One group of folks are working hard to educate people before they make this commitment. These are the people at http://makeminechocolate.org/. They encourage the public to think twice and
give chocolate bunnies instead of furry ones. Please take a look at their site. They are raffling a gorgeous painting this year that I'm hoping to win! :)

The other folks, whom i have a lot respect for is the House Rabbit Rescue Society. They are nationwide, and are always in need of donations, not only of money, but often things like towels and blankets, bleach, vinegar, fresh greens, and volunteers. Check with your nearest chapter to see what's on their wish list. They offer no kill shelter, adoptions, bunny education (education for bunny parents, that is), bunny bonding, and often grooming and short term boarding and other services. They have a wide selection of RESCUED bunnies available for adoption that have been spayed, neutered, treated for any injuries and "special" bunnies that have been damaged
by abandonment or cruelty, who have learned to love and trust again.

You can find them at :
http://www.rabbit.org/adoption/index.html.

If you live in the L.A. county area, check out http://www.bunnyluv.com/. I mostly deal directly with them, since they are closest to me.

Thanks for your time, and Happy Easter!

Buns

Here I Thought Michael Stipe Was Secretly Married To Some Hot Chick

Michael Stipe officially came out of the closet yesterday, after about 25 years of him sticking everything out but maybe one pinky. Hey, I do admire him for coming out, and I will pretend it has nothing to do with the new album R.E.M is releasing in two weeks and instead know that Michale is one of the great guys in the world and that when he says,"I recognize that to have public figures be very open about their sexuality helps some kid somewhere out there.” To read his coming out interview with US Weekly, click here.

He should have probably come to that realization even 10 years ago when R.E.M was at their peak, and he could have helped some kids, rather than now, when the only people that listen to the group are people like me, and people trying to see if they can memorize all the words to End Of The World.

So, yes Michael is a great guy and all, but he is also a guy who knows everything about the music business and promotion. He ain't stupid, and what would have been a brief mention of Accelerate which is due on April 1st in Rolling Stone, and now instead there is a story in US Weekly, and probably some other weekly magazines for a story that is really not that much of a story. It's not like he is giving away much except for that last pinky. But now, maybe SNL and Dave will have them on. Hell, SNL and Dave will probably have them on anyway. If he does Regis & Kelly though, any credibility will be gone out the window.

I couldn't decide on a favorite R.E.M. song, so just went with a classic which everyone likes.

Impetigo Shmetigo

Look, I am no medical expert, and I didn't even stay at a Holiday Inn Express(if you don't live in the U.S. look on YouTube) last night, but I think there is something more seriously wrong with Amy Winehouse than a case of impetigo. Now, it is possible that due to her notoriously bad hygiene that she is simply suffering from the longest and worst case ever of the disease. Does anyone else other than myself think this could be some other type of more serious infection or the result of a more serious infection?

Those are some truly awful scabs and such, and to me they do not look like the photos of impetigo I have looked at. Again, not a medical expert, but with all the drugs and cuttings, and other things Amy has done to her body, maybe she has something else she is not telling us about. Maybe she should because this is getting out of hand.

Diddy Did It

The Los Angeles Times reported yesterday that Sean Combs basically started the entire East Coast - West Coast rap war by masterminding the assault on Tupac Shakur in New York City back in 1994.

From the time of the assault until his death, Tupac had always said that Combs knew about the 1994 shooting. Now, the Times has several sources who corroborated that story. Notorious B.I.G. was also one of the people behind the assault according to the newspaper.

This story is a lie," Combs said in a statement on Monday. "It is beyond ridiculous and is completely false. Neither Biggie (Wallace) nor I had any knowledge of any attack before, during or after it happened." Well, if it is a lie, then I am sure Mr. Combs will be filing a lawsuit against the Times now won't he? If you are ever going to file a lawsuit for libel, this is the one to do it on. Because right now, there are millions of people all over the world who will now be 100% convinced that not only did Combs plan the assault on Tupac but that he also must have had something to do with his death.

Diddy has always fancied himself the kingpin of his own little world. Lets not forget his little altercation with guns and Jennifer Lopez a few years ago, and how that was basically the end for them. I have always thought of Diddy as a pompous ass who thinks he is some kind of Godfather, when in actuality he is a punk.

Look, Tupac wasn't perfect, but he also didn't claim to be anyone or anything that he wasn't. Just because he didn't want to sign with Combs the punk didn't mean he needed to be shot. Who the hell does that? So if you take this out to the farthest point, you basically have Diddy still alive and making all the money while he set the chain of events in motion that killed his alleged best friend, B.I.G, and prior to that Tupac.

So, you go ahead Diddy and make all your stupid reality shows and create celebrities out of people who are really closer to Ashley Dupre than actual celebrities. Keep pretending you are this huge mogul. Oh, sure you have lots of money and get to have sex more than me, but you also probably have to look over your shoulder all of the time also, and that is probably going to become a frantic bob and weave after this story becomes really widespread. Take care.

If you want to read the Reuters article about the Times piece, click here. They have a link to the Times story.

Daily Mirror Blind Item

Which Hollywood A-lister has a reputation for hitting on women half his age?

The thespian really doesn't care that he's old enough to be their father...

Kristin Davis Sex Tape

I never really thought Kristin Davis had it in her. Apparently this photo is one of a few that someone is using as they shop the sex tape. I actually thought Kristin was smarter than this, but then again maybe this is just some kind of PopFiction stunt or something for Sex And The City. If it is, it doesn't really put Kristin in a good light. Oh, I think she looks good, but then I am a perv. For those of you who like FFF, when you click the link you will see Kristin doing a little NSFW sucking, so be prepared. Also, she shows off a little bit of what she has as well.

Today's Blind Items

#1 - The B list bisexual film actress who has probably never turned down a guy was turned down over the weekend by a woman. Not the woman she usually is seen out and about with mind you. No, that celebrity was nowhere to be seen. Instead, our actress spent much of the evening trying one approach after the other with this other female. Our actress would not take no for an answer until the female dialed a number on her own cell, and then handed it to our actress. On the other end was the regular female companion for our actress who made nice on the phone and hung up. She then spent 30 minutes making sure that the hit on female would not report the bad behavior. Too late.

#2 - This C list actor with the A list crazy reputation and a certain eye for realism is certainly living up to the crazy part of his reputation. He recently moved out of his home and lived in his car, because his home was too hot. Not hot as in he couldn't get the heat to work properly, but hot as he could not touch any surface of the home without thinking he was burning himself. Walking around with oven mitts on grew tiresome, so he moved into his car until the house could be sold.

Random Photos Part One

St. Patrick's Day Parade - New York City
St. Patrick's Day Parade - Belfast
Katharine Keating just makes the whole showing off the breasts thing much easier by bringing her own Mardi Gras beads. None of that fumbling around for beads to toss. She is thoughtful enough to bring her own, and I for one am grateful.
Jean Michel Jarre - Glasgow
I just won $50M for f**king a Beatle and now I'm going to Disney World.
Eddie Izzard is, well, incredible.
One Republic - Amsterdam
Like I would ever say anything bad about anyone in The Goonies , especially Martha Plimpton.
Matt Dallas just because.
Mutya Buena - Belfast
Kimora Lee Simmons looks good which is not really saying much, but you know, every little bit helps.
Velvet Revolver - Leeds
The one and only Scott Cohen. Well actually with such a common name there are probably like a million Scott Cohen's but you get the idea.
Roisin Murphy - London
I bet the folks over at Cheetos are happy.
So did you see the episode of Entourage with Peter Dinklage? Priceless.

Even Animals Love Getting Drunk

Well, you know I love a holiday. A holiday that allows me to drink while at work is even better. In the spirit of St. Patrick's Day, the people over at Best Week Ever have found photos of 50 animals with drinking problems. Enjoy.

Minnie Driver And The Baby Name

Minne Driver has been going around to various talk shows whining about how she can't come up with a name for her future kid because she has such an awful last name. Well, all I know is that she should not be the one deciding. Her number one choice if it is a boy is John Driver. That is the most porn name you could ever think of. You might as well just call Vivid as soon as you put that name on a birth certificate because that is where he is headed.

I personally don't understand why she just won't use my surname for the child. It is almost like she is ashamed that I am the father of the baby. Well, if she won't tell everyone I am the dad, then the least I can do is come up with a good name.

Since she is a Minnie, she could name a boy Mickey, or Pluto, or really could go with any of the Disney family and I think it would work.

She really needs to stay away from the adjectives though like Mighty or the cute names that other celebrities have come up with like Apple or Paris. When combined with Driver they sound more like a job description than a name.

No matter what she names the kid though, there will always be some jerkoff saying "Drive her?" I didn't even know her. Yea, that's really funny one time. Well the kid won't be laughing when he sees John Driver up there on the big screen living the American male dream of being a porn star.

Although Minnie can get on my nerves, she has been in some of my favorite films, including Grosse Point Blank, so it is tough to get too snarky about her.

NY Post Blind Items

WHICH married foreign head of state makes Bill Clinton look like a Boy Scout? When women are granted audiences with the man, they find him at his desk with his fly open or, sometimes, with his pants already down .

WHICH "socialite" dropped from a size 14 to a size 0 with the help of a new dangerous habit? She and some of her blueblood friends are dabbling in the appetite suppressant, heroin.

Where The Hell Was The Bar?

Thomas Jane was arrested this morning on suspicion of DUI. Thomas Jane who is part of the Arquette clan by way of his marriage to Patricia Arquette is the star of The Punisher.

Thomas was arrested just prior to 3am out in the damn middle of nowhere for driving at "an extremely high rate of speed" on I-5. He failed several field sobriety tests, including a breathalyzer. Police also say he was driving with a suspended license.

Even though I have not seen a police report of where he was pulled over, I will bet you that it was where I5 and 166 meet which is really in the absolute middle of nowhere. There is a speed trap right there and always has someone pulled over. The thing that I find very interesting is that the location is about 90 miles or so from LA, and there is nothing out there but the stink of manure, so this guy, if he was drunk, must have been drinking in the car while he was driving, or had so much to drink that at least two hours later could still blow at least a .08.

Where was Patricia when all of this happened? I would have thought she would have a vision. Oh, that's right it's a television show. Well, I wonder if there marriage will survive this. Don't let anyone know I told you, but it was really shaky to begin with. Combine that with trying to explain what the hell you were doing out drunk at 3am in the middle of nowhere and your marriage is probably not going to get much better.

Oh, on a side note, it looks like I found some photos of Thomas for FFF. So, you know, if you want to see what the boys in prison are going to see, check back Friday.

I Want To Hear The Tape

Mariah Carey is in Allure Magazine this month and gives an interview. I think the problem is that her reps or the interviewer are too in love with Mariah, and allowed this sentence to be printed in explanation for why she is shy and conservative at home and raunchy in public.

"It's a dichotomy, I understand. I understand that people think I'm a ditzy moron. But I'm more like a prude! I'm Mary Poppins. I'm what the buttoned-up girls are supposed to be."

First of all, I wish she were Mary Poppins. We could go ahead and make the remake right now. When I was a wee lad, I would have much preferred having Mariah Carey giving me a spoonful of sugar, than Julie Andrews. No offense, but Mr. Banks would probably not have been quite such a tight ass if he had Mariah to come home to every night. Of course she would have sucked him dry of every cent in his bank though. Also, I don't know how she even knows what a buttoned up girl is supposed to be because I don't think she has ever even managed to get two buttons buttoned on any outfit she has ever worn.

Anyway, the point of this was to ask yourself honestly if Mariah Carey used the word dichotomy in a sentence. Did she do it? Could she do it on the spot with the interviewer there, or did she send a follow-up e-mail with her word of the day? Mariah Carey is not dumb. I don't want anyone to think that I think she is dumb. She pretends to be dumb because she thinks that is what her fans want, but she is not dumb. She is a diva. No pretending there. But although not dumb as in box of rocks dumb, I still don't see her uttering that word unless she and her people practiced it for days beforehand in anticipation of such a question. I really would like to hear the tape where she says it. Because now I am going to wonder how many of these interviews allegedly done with celebrities are really just written out in advance and some dude thinks of a great answer and e-mails back.

Child Actress = Meth Addiction

I think Fergie has lost her mind. In an interview with Marie Claire she tries to explain why she became a meth addict. I don't think she has decided if it was because she used to be on a television show for five minutes when she was a kid or if it is because she is a people pleaser. Why don't you read the quote, and you tell me.

"I was a child actor. I was this spaz kid diagnosed with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder), and I worked all the time. I got on a TV series, Kids Incorporated; I was like a little adult. And years later, because I would try to people-please, I would hold all these feelings in. Then all of a sudden, I just didn't feel creative. And crystal meth came into my life."

What the hell feelings was she holding in? The fact that she was a little adult? She would try and please people and keep what feelings in? I am really confused. Can you imagine what it must be like to live with her? All the meth has knocked some brain cells seriously out of whack. And this is when she is 32. As it is she already looks 45 because of the meth and has the senility of a 70 year old. What the hell do you think she is going to be like in fifteen years when she can't even remember the words to any of her songs and loses her job as a singer at various bowling alley lounges.

Look, she just should have said that she made a bad decision and got hooked. Don't blame it on anything but yourself. For what it is worth, she does come completely clean with this quote about what meth did to her.

"When I had that first hit, I knew I wanted to feel that way every day. I went on a downward spiral. I lost friends and family. Anyone who disagreed with my way of life, I cut them out."

She is being honest there so I don't know why she can't be honest about why she got hooked in the first place. Hey, we can handle it. We won't judge. OK, some of us including myself will judge, but we want to know.

Bad Acting, But Hey ,There's Nudity

In an attempt to actually get a paycheck for acting and not have to start calling herself Kristen, Mischa Barton is now willing to get naked for her craft. Of course her craft isn't all that great. In the 30 second clip I watched of her naked, I had to turn the sound down because I just couldn't handle her whiny crying. If I had to watch 90 more minutes of it, I think I would be doing more drugs than she does.

So, in her new film Closing The Ring, she just gets topless. When no one actually goes to see the film because it sucks, then she will be forced to go full frontal for the next one, and by the third or fourth Razzie nomination she will be doing soft core porn and showing up to host Cinemax Friday night spank o vision.

In all fairness to Mischa, she does have a really nice pair of breasts. But then I think to myself that Cisco Adler pawed them and I jump back to reality. Should you care to watch the NSFW video, and horrible acting, then click here.

He Should Be Hiding Not Bragging

There must be something in the Hudson River that makes Governors want to get kinky. Back in 2004, then NJ Governor James McGreevey was forced to step down from office after it was revealed that he liked to get it on with guys. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but apparently you are not supposed to do it while you are married to a woman and the guy you are doing works for you.

Well now, with all the spotlight shining down on sex and governors, Theodore Pederson has come forward to say that he and McGreevey and Mrs. McGreevey used to enjoy regular 3somes on Friday Nights. They were described by the threesome as Friday night specials. Pederson, said he never did any man on man stuff with McGreevey, but kept his attentions solely focused on Mrs. McGreevey who has acted like a nun since this all broke out. To hear her tell it, it was missionary once a week with her then husband and she had no idea gay people even existed.

What I think is the repulsive thing here is that someone was willing to have sex with Mrs. McGreevey without getting paid for it. Yes, her husband had to because, hey he was married to her and didn't want her to know he was gay. She does kind of look like a guy so maybe that is why he was able to get it on with her.

Pederson, on the other hand, says he enjoyed it which must be a lie, because, well, just look at her. According to Pederson the 3somes stopped once McGreevey became Governor.

If you really want to read every last little detail about it, then click here. Otherwise let's move on to a new state, a new governor and sex with animals. Really, after gay and 3somes and hookers and everything else, I think we will all be numb about anymore of these stories unless they involve farm animals or farm tools, or farm equipment, or farmer's daughters, or in a farm.

Age Makes The Price Go Down

Can you imagine that Ashley Dupre used to get $20,000 a night? No, she did not get that much from Eliot Spitzer, because lets face it, she is kind of fug and after you have been using your body as much as she has, you get a little worn out. I personally think $1,000 an hour is way too much for her, but if the demand is there, then take it.

So, back in the day when she was "19" and I really have my doubts about the whole 19 thing, she apparently was used by Charlie Sheen on a regular basis. He would pay her up to $20,000 a night to dress like a cheerleader and act out his favorite porn lesbian scenes. You wonder how someone who can make $20,000 a night in just a few years can't even find rent money. Did she think guys would be willing to pay her forever? How old is she really? Was Charlie married to Denise when he was playing porn director with Ashley? Did Denise join in? Get a family discount? Get a professional discount?

She has made it seem like she only did the hooking thing on a part-time basis, but it is pretty obvious from the number of guys who are coming forward or being exposed that she basically has slept with just about everyone on the east coast.

Daily Mirror Blind Item

Which touchy Hollywood star threw a diva strop when her flunkies failed to fly in her favourite fizzy canned diet drink each morning?