Full Frontal Friday is back and better than ever. Must be that whole Easter and fertility thing. Lots of great surprises, but none more so than this one. The photo above is a guy named Michael Lucas. Michael came over from Russia and built himself his own porn empire—he models and performs, directs, and heads his own studio. Not surprisingly, he’s kind of crazy and has a huge ego, but he’s also an undeniably interesting person and surprisingly likable. For a laugh I wholly recommend reading his blog: http://lucasblog.com/index.html , which includes his thoughts on the Eliot Spitzer scandal, his recent profile in The New Republic magazine, and highlights from his recent trip to Israel.
Other than Michael there are A listers from the present and past, as well as someone who looks like he probably short changed Marilyn Monroe.
As always, the photos are totally NSFW. Unless of course you are alone there in which case, I would hope that you would be having sex in your office and not just looking at porn. If you are under 18, go look at the half naked Miley Cyrus photos on the site, or go hang out at the mall.
For the rest of you, you can click here.
Friday, March 21, 2008
I think everyone in the world is off today except for me. Quite possibly I could be the only person working. Full Frontal Friday will be coming up shortly. Oh, that is a bad choice of words. It will be coming up in a few hours. I almost feel bad doing that on Good Friday but hopefully this kindness will make up for it. Been saving this one for today.
So, this B list television actress from a very hit show that ended not so long ago, was walking through a park close to her home when she saw two girls who were about ten playing on the swings. One of the girls had a doll in her hand which she was swinging in a circle. She didn't pay that close of attention but thought that there was a nanny or mom watching the pair. Out of the corner of her eye she saw a flash and a mixed breed dog launched through the air and grabbed the doll from the girl's hand. The girl immediately tried to get the doll back from the dog and was bitten really hard on her arm. She started screaming, let go of the doll, and the dog ran away with the doll. No one came to help the little girl at all. The alleged nanny was not actually the nanny and did nothing to help and instead walked away from the scene. The dog's owner? There was no one there at all with the girls. Our actress rushed over to the injured girl and saw that the dog had left teeth prints but had not broken the skin. The actress calmed the girl down long enough so she could get an address for the girl. It was a house about a half a block from the park. Our actress took both the girl and her friend back to the injured girl's house, and explained everything to the mother of the girl. The girl's mom had apparently run back to the house because she had thought she had left the gas on on their stove and was just opening the door to go back to the park as our actress came up with the two girls. She gave the woman her name and contact information, but no one recognized our actresses name. Later that day, our actress bought a new doll and had it sent to the girl to make up for the one that was taken by the dog.
Jools Holland - Sydney
At this point you should have tears in your eyes from laughing so hard. Have you ever seen anything more pretentious in your entire life? OK, well how about in the last month?
This is Chloe Marshall. She is a finalist for Miss England and the first plus size woman ever. She looks great and I hope she kicks ass.
A Fine Frenzy - New York
Has anyone ever seen Anderson Cooper look happier. This interview has become his porn. His own sex tape.
So, I really wanted to say "Tell her what's up" but figured no one would get the reference. So I will just go with the fact that this is probably the only time in his life that Seth Green will ever have two women touch him again. In the future they may look like women, but they probably won't be.
Maggie Q on the set of her new film. I was kind of hoping that they were going to need my basement for the film, but no such luck.
Not really Full Frontal Friday, but I'm guessing Lee Tergesen is trying to make up for whatever else he may be lacking.
I just threw up a little bit.
Joe Pantoliano isn't gay right?
You know you are in trouble when you start using Bai Ling as your muse.
I love Tintin. Meet the new Tintin. Thomas Sangster.
I just can't believe that David Schwimmer got to touch my Thandie Newton. I need to calm down because these feelings are the same kinds of feelings that cause trouble with the law down the line.
The Jonas Brothers - New York
Sinead O'Connor - Byron Bay
Whatever you may think of Mickey Rourke, I think we all can agree on the fact that he tells it like it is. He is blunt and to the point, and so when he is involved in anything scandalous, you get some great quotes. If you will recall, back in November, Mickey was charged with DUI while driving his Vespa. He swore up and down that he wasn't drunk, and the court agreed with him. They did convict him of reckless driving and he got some probation. He also actually got community service, but he bought his way out of it for $10 an hour. So, rich people I am guessing don't have to do community service.
Only the poor and indigent who can't afford to pay the $10 an hour are forced to do community service. How messed up is that? That is incredibly unequal justice.
Want to know how Mickey felt about the whole situation?
"I'm friends with most cops in the city and they told me the guy who got me isn't even liked by his colleagues. He's a 400-pound f—- unfit for duty. I said to him: 'F—- you, I'm not drunk.' I guess he didn't like that."
You know Mickey, I am going to have to say that most cops don't like to be cussed at, and if you were not Mickey Rourke, you probably would have felt the love tap of a taser for saying it.
As for the blond that was on Mickey's Vespa with him when he got pulled over. Apparently he didn't get lucky that night and that pissed him off more than getting arrested. Mickey doesn't know her name and never saw her after he was arrested. They were on the way to his apartment when he got pulled over. Well at least he has plenty of photos of her that he can see over and over on the internet and wonder what could have been, or how much she was going to charge.
Twisted sent me this clip from the Oprah show. I know, I know, but Twisted does live in Chicago and if you don't watch Oprah there, you get sent to jail. Sometimes for a first offense they send you to a reeducation camp. It isn't like Oprah can actually take credit for what he says. I am warning you right now, it is moving. Guys say moving when we don't want to use the word cry. Guys are only allowed to cry when when watching Rudy and Brian's Song. All other times we say it was moving, which is a manly thing to do, so used in this context gives us some breathing room. I realize many of you may have seen this, but for those of you have not, you really should watch it.
Out of body experience.
So I'm pretty quick on my feet when I'm in a show and someone forgets their lines. I'm can be pretty witty when I'm at a party and I'm "on" but I spend much time out of the "on" mode. In fact, I pride myself being one of the least "on in my daily life" actors that I know. So that means when in real life confrontations, I pretty much suck. I always think of the response 2 days later. That's why I'm so excited about what happened this week.
This is nothing to do with the industry except that it happened on Hollywood blvd. I had a meeting in Hollywood about a short someone wanted me to produce. So after driving around for 20 minutes, I found a spot. I started to parallel park but as I did I realized that that car in front of me, a white extended cab pick-up with a trailer hitch was way overlapping into my spot. (And there is no car in front of him at all) So I'm nosing back and forth trying to fit my car in the spot it's a tight fit. Finally I'm in and I roll up a little bit more, ever so slowly, because I can't see his hitch and so I'm pretty much parking Braille method. I am going so slowly that I know I've reached his car because mine won't go any further but there is no rough bump. I roll back a half inch and put the car in park.
The drivers door flies open and this guy comes storming over to me.
"Did you feel that?"
"You just hit my car and shaked it"
"I honestly didn't feel anything."
"Well you hit my car. I have a trailer hitch on my car. Maybe you
"Actually I did."
"Well it's a good thing I do or you would have ruined my bumper."
"You are in my spot."
"Your car is inconsiderately overlapping in my spot."
"And your trailer hitch is below my vision so I hit and probably dinged
"Which I would not have not done if you were not in my spot. So did
you come over to apologize?"
"Did you come over to apologize? Because if you did, I accept your
At this point I look forward. I see on the back of his truck. I turn back to him and say.
"You are not allowed to act this way and have that on the back on your
I point out the Jesus fish on the back of his truck.
"You are not allowed to act this way and then drive around with that on
your car. I'm not Christian but I know Jesus said some pretty cool
things about love, acceptance and compassion. None of which you are
"Just know you hit my car." And he turned and walked away.
I sat and couldn't believe what I said. I got out of my car. Not even a ding on my car and it was my bumper that "hit" his trailer hitch. So I made sure he saw me taking down his license plate (just in case I came back and my car was totaled) and I walked away.
Man that felt good.
RUN FATBOY RUN
Release Date: 3/21/08
I love Simon Pegg. I loved Shaun of the Dead, and I roared through Hot Fuzz. I am ready for Simon Pegg to win over America again. It just ain’t gonna happen with this movie. I think this one will do fine, because there hasn’t been a romantic comedy released since Valentine’s Day, but it’s not spectacular.
There were a few belly laughs in the audience, but none were mine. It really almost plays like a kid’s movie more than one for adults. Which makes me credit the writer and director: Michael Ian Black (who is typically unfunny on all of those Best Week Ever/I Love XX’s VH1 shows) and David Schwimmer (also someone I find no humor in). There are a lot of sight gags, but it doesn’t quite go into Farrelly Brothers territory.
This is one of those movies where you’ve seen the trailer and you’ve seen almost all the highlights. It’s a short movie, but there are parts that just drag on.
Thandie Newton has the thankless job of just looking pretty and being a ping pong ball between Pegg and Hank Azaria. It’s a damn good thing she’s flawlessly beautiful.
It pretty much sticks to the formula for a romantic comedy about separated parents. Girl and boy don’t get along, the girl finds a new man, the boy feels threatened and tries to win her back, and you’re waiting 80 more minutes to see if she ever gets back with the boy.
I wanted to like this more, but I have to say, it’s not worth more than a rental. It’s mildly entertaining. It’s worth about $4.00 to me.
Browhilda Frown-Free has just about everything a once desperately ambitious, unknown actress could desire: fame, wealth, notorious love, Academy Award notice, great bone structure, fab hair, free cosmetic procedures for the taking—everything but the freedom to love the one she's (really) with. Don't worry though, babes, Brow's been down this fake-amour alley before. She's a friggin' pro at navigating the affectionless twists and turns of the overly photographed.
Howev, BFF's latest man experience—heady as it all may be—has become slightly more than Browhilda's used to, what with her past liaisons of coolly arranged get-togethers. You know the age-old ersatz Hollywood plan: A couple goes out for a red carpet whatever; then they go in for separate, much more private dalliances with their same-sex partners. Brow's had this setup with almost every man she's hooked up with before.
But Ms. F.F.'s latest dude—who's more than happy to bed every slobbering femme he can find—has turned out to be far messier than Brow-babe would prefer. Not only does he womanize with indiscretion, he's stupidly starting to make a loud and rather visible stink about Brow's increased devotion to her current g-f. How does that Shakespearean saying go? Oh what a tangled guy web we weave, when at first we hetero deceive? Watch out, Brow, we be onto ya!
Thursday, March 20, 2008
What is it about women and bathrooms. Do you all talk about everything in there? So, AP was at an event this week and this is what was discussed in the bathroom.
This former A list film actress from many years ago, and now a B lister on television who isn't that old despite the length of her career was having a chat with another woman. They were discussing the length of a certain piece of anatomy on some actors they had been with. Our A list actress said that when she had sex with this C list television actor on her show, that he was really well endowed. She went on to say that it made a nice change from her husband. Yes husband. Seems that he is small and the only way he can get off is if he imagines that our actress is a man. Not much of a stretch if you ask me.
“I think about what it would be like to have a daughter now, one who is influenced by Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, and Britney Spears – and, ugh, it’s so depressing. Where are the other young Hollywood role models who are cool, smart, and out there doing something with their lives? There’s a definite responsibility that comes with being famous. You shouldn’t be able to just dress up and look pretty.” Women's Health April 2008. Thank you Rashida Jones.
Johnny Depp on the set of his new film.
After this event, Brittany Murphy must have gone out to Sunset to work the street or something.
"Must get gin on the way home from work."
I'm thinking this is one Dancing With The Stars couple that is not going to hook up. If they do, I am taking up dancing.
I know I am a perv when all it takes is a little skin for me to think that Mel C doesn't look all that bad.
For all of you David Boreanaz fans.
Put some fake breasts on the ball and you have Victoria Beckham.
I think any night that David Arquette doesn't have to deal with Jennifer Aniston is a good night in his world.
You know those tribes in Africa that elongate their necks artificially? Brooke Shields is their Queen.
Hey Nicola Roberts. Good news.
You are not the ugly one anymore.
The baby bump is gone. Must have been constipation.
I'm guessing Elizabeth Berkeley has a double chin she doesn't want us to know about. Or she got a new chin.
The Tussauds people are getting really good.
I'm just happy to see Lucy Liu in anything other than those outfits she wears on her new show.
Lukas Haas is up for a Carson Daly award. Eat something man.
Keith Urban - Byron Bay
John Butler - Byron Bay
Rumer Willis - Fug Bay
I do love me some Rosario Dawson.
"Is that stick, or are you just happy to see me?"
Dry humping on the red carpet is really not that attractive.
Does Nicole Richie ever stay home? I'm guessing she is still breastfeeding though.
Xavier Rudd - Byron Bay
Will Estes. Nothing really to say, just thought you might like him.
Taye Diggs can get away with this look because he can kick my ass if I say anything bad.
Shiva Rose. I really do love that name.
Originally I was just going to put the People cover shot of Jennifer Lopez and her twins in the Random Photos portion of the blog, but then I couldn't find anything to write about so thought I would go off on baby photos for a minute.
First of all I'm just taking a wild ass guess here, but for however long it took the photographers to take the photos is probably the longest that Jennifer has held her kids, especially now that she has an extra $6M burning a hole in her pocket. Hell, with that kind of money she and Skeletor can go ahead and finance at least another awful album and film. Of course that is if they get to keep it. How much of a cut do the Scientologists get? OK, this wasn't going to be about them. I already did that once today. Besides I think actually that Skeletor owes about $2.5M in back taxes, and the tax rate on this will be about 40%. So not even counting fees to agents, managers and attorneys they will only clear a million. Of course someone who makes $40,000 a year would take 25 years of working 40 hours a week or more to make that much.
I just think that although People skews to about age 65 or something close to that, it is at the checkout stands and so I think young women who see Jennifer Lopez looking all happy and airbrushed with professionally done hair and makeup get the idea that having a baby is no big deal and that it is fun and exciting and I will look just like Jennifer when I am done.
What they don't realize is that she probably has at least 2 nannies and might even need name tags to tell which is which at this point. I'm sure she will be happy when they can speak so she won't have to guess anymore.
Hey, I think it is great she had babies. I just know that the article is probably going to talk about the hundreds of thousands of dollars that she spent on the nursery, and the fact that it makes people feel like crap when they can't give that to their own kids.
Oh, here is the link to Kneepads.
Lets see the economy is in the shitter, unemployment claims are rising, gas prices are out of control, and people have to work multiple jobs to make ends meet.
Hello real world, I would like to introduce you to quite possibly the smuggest, most undeserving celebrity on the planet. Kim Kardashian. Does Kim Kardashian share your plight or your troubles? Does she care that you have to rush home from your 2nd job before the daycare starts charging you triple time? Does Kim Kardashian care that you have to cut back on your kid's activities because you can't afford to do them all now?
No, Kim Kardashian doesn't care about you, or anyone in the real world other than those who can help her. Here is what Kim Kardashian wants you to care about. This is from her website.
Since my recent car drama has been in the news, I figure I should give you the updates...
I only got to drive my new Bentley for one week when a motorcycle ran into it! It was a hit and run. :(
I've had the car for six whole months, but it had been in shop most of that time getting tricked out at Luxury Ride Motors-- where I bought it. Now my Bentley is at Platinum Motor Sport on Sunset Blvd. getting repaired! They say it may take about two months.
I've been waiting my whole life for a Bentley and now this!!! I just have to laugh -- what else am I going to do!?
Wish my car a speedy recovery in the comments and also let me know how you have dealt with car drama!So basically she wants us all to wish her car a speedy recovery. Oh, and while we are at it we should visit the two stores she mentions because that is the only way she is not going to have to pay full price. She actually provides links to those two places on her site. And, at last count there are over 250 comments to Kim expressing sympathy that her car was damaged.
This world is nuts. What the f**k has Kim Kardashian ever done? She got filmed showing off the fact that she is quite possibly the worlds worst lay and that is all she has done. That is it. Nothing else. Oh I know her friends will e-mail me and say how she is a great designer and blah blah blah. No, she isn't. Then when she should be slowly fading away to become the non entity she is, Ryan Seacrest gives her a show so she can have a larger platform to show how little she cares about anyone other than herself.
The only good news I have ever read about Kim Kardashian is that this week the woman who has been f**king Reggie Bush when Kim isn't around confronted the pair at a Hornets game this week so that Kim would know she has competition. If Kim cried it is only because she and Reggie are not married yet so she can't take half.
I am so sick of people like Kim and all the other little f**kers on the Hills and Laguna Beach who are only famous for being at a high school that was picked by MTV. That is the claim to their fame. Nothing else. Yet somehow these are the people that our kids look up to. F**k me, Kim K pissed me off. I swear she could kill her entire family and I still won't put her on this site again.
I have never seen someone so arrogant and so undeserving of anything in this world. There are families that don't make in several years what her car cost, and yet she wants the whole world to feel sympathy that she only got to drive it for a week. And it isn't like she is paying to get it fixed. Hell, I'm not sure she even paid for it considering how she was whoring herself out to those companies.
I just hope and pray everyday now that the woman who has been f**king Reggie Bush gave him some hideous STD that he has passed on to Kim K.
If you want to submit a comment to her site, click here.