Friday, March 28, 2008

Full Frontal Friday



This week is another combination of today and yesteryear. I always try and make it odd and unique. I am actually amazed at how many full frontal shots there are, and as long as everyone keeps helping like they have, it should continue for quite some time. As you can see from above, those are two people you will be getting an eyeful of if you click. However, here is a little bonus just sent to me today. It is not possible for me to save them, so you will have to click to see. I think if you are Duran Duran fans, you will enjoy them, and they are just two days old, so even better. Of course any time you click from this post it is NSFW and if you are under 18, go get your mom and have her sit with you. That should be fun and you can here her bitch about how small your dad is, and how great her boyfriend was when she was 18. You can talk about the conversation again in therapy in a few years. Here is FFF.

Four For Friday

#1 - This is quite the pair. A former adult film actress and a member of a girl's singing group were all over each other at a recent event. They also seemed to go the bathroom together every five minutes. Weak bladders I guess.

#2 - Another singer. This one is young and married and female, and is definitely an A list singer if there were such a category. Not married to a celebrity so you can just take that Avril Lavigne guess right out of your head. Seems the thing they most enjoy in their sex life is bringing in another person. Always guys. Seems our young husband can't quite decide which team he is playing for and likes the extra boost that a guy brings to the bedroom.

#3 - This former B list television actress on a very hit network show with a very catchy name is now a C lister. It is no wonder her career is in the crapper if she treated her co-workers the way she treats her husband. At a party this week, she yelled at him not once, not twice, but at least three times always in front of people. "Idiot," "Can't believe I'm married to you," and "I told you no ice," were just some of the things she made sure everyone heard. Her husband just seemed to put up with it and weakly smiled when people looked his way.

#4 - Most of the time when you are having an affair with a co-worker it is easy to keep your spouse away from the co-worker. But what do you do when you have to walk the red carpet with your wife, while your mistress is standing right next to you and starts chatting with your wife? Such was the case this week during one of the press events for new television shows. The show is award winning and brilliant. A drama. The actress is a C lister with a few starring roles in a couple of television shows. The married actor is also C list with this show being his first big break.

Random Photos Part One

I think Angela Lansbury deserves the top spot. Someone tell me different.
Give me a couple bottles of vodka and a Good Eats marathon and I am set for the weekend.
I will say one thing for Drake Bell. He is not afraid to make a statement with his fashion choices.
Counting Crows - New York
Hugh Jackman in his bathing suit. For other celebrity dads in bathing suits, US Weekly has a whole bunch. The reason I am giving you all these guys will become obvious shortly.
Fergie actually makes Quentin Tarantino look good. That is saying something. Not sure what it is saying, but it is saying something.
The new film from the Farrelly Brothers. Bitch and Bitchier. Also known as Eva Amurri and Lydia Hearst.
People in Australia are willing to pay Dennis Rodman to open a club.
Someone said yesterday they wanted a book from Tatum O'Neal's offspring. I want a book from Dakota Johnson.
Reason #1 for the Hugh Jackman photo. Although I must admit that Ashley Olsen doesn't look half bad.
Mary Kate on the other hand. Not so much.
Mother daughter talks in 2008.
Throw on some turquoise earrings and Mischa Barton is ready for a k.d lang concert.
Leslie Nielsen is about 30 years older than Pamela Anderson and about 30 times better looking.
Selita Eubanks at her 25th birthday party. I know, I know looks about 45 with a really bad wig.
Marisa Tomei always looks really good before she gets to the open bar.
I don't think that when Mena Suvari is about 70, that the tattoo is going to look quite so good. Hell, it doesn't look good now. WTF was she thinking?
Marilu Henner still looks great.
Oh yes, Tracy. She is much classier than your wife.
Simon Rex at 7pm.
Simon Rex at midnight.
See. This is why I love Random Photos. Stephen Root and Wayne Knight.
You probably don't watch as much porn as I do, but Sienna Miller getting into this van with strangers kind of reminds me of a Bang Brothers film.

Daily Mirror Blind Item

Which Hollywood actress is stalking a British reality TV star to the point pals have confiscated her mobile to stop her calling the lowlife?

Freddie Prinze Jr. Must Never Get Any


I almost made the headline something like Sarah Michelle Gellar doesn't have anything interesting to talk about. However, I don't think it would fit. In the latest issue of Maxim, Sarah Michelle Gellar is forced to relate stories from events that happened several years ago just to find anything remotely interesting in her life.

She basically relates a time during filming of Southland Tales where she was supposed to be a porn star and doing a sex scene, but had just eaten some turkey and was too sleepy to do a good job. "For a porn star, I didn't get much action. I filmed a love scene on Thanksgiving, and I had eaten all this turkey and mashed potatoes and was like, 'I seriously have to film a sex scene right now?' "I was so tired from all the tryptophan that I just wanted to sleep."

If you read that sentence and don't think that Freddie Prinze Jr. has not heard every single excuse imaginable, then you just have never been in a relationship. SMG was getting paid to do a sex scene. Paid, and she still felt sleepy and disinterested. How long has she been married? Freddie probably is lucky to get sex once a month. His porn collection must fill shelf after shelf in their house. SMG is probably encouraging him every night to take care of business on his own.

How much turkey did she eat? Yes, people get sleepy after turkey, but it is generally because they ate lots and lots. Much more than any 100 pound actress can eat. If it really made you that sleepy, do you think it would be such a popular cold cut, or that Subway would sell it? Or Arby's? People would be falling asleep in the car on the way back from lunch.

If you think I am wrong about her making excuse after excuse, you let me know. But you know I am right and that poor Freddie knows his hand really well. No wonder they don't have kids. If it doesn't happen on his birthday, lets face it, it is not going to happen.

Michael Lohan Wants Lindsay To Make More Money


I think Lindsay Lohan made a smart choice in taking on the role of one of Charles Manson's followers in the film Manson Girls. Michael Lohan thinks that she should have done American Pie 4, The Revenge Of The Pie. In an interview with US Magazine last night, Michael said, "I really hope that Lindsay gets back to the kinds of films that led to her success. I'd like to see her do more mainstream films."

What he means when he says that is that Manson Girls doesn't pay all that much, while if she goes ahead and does Herbie 2 Fully Stupid, that Lindsay will walk away with a couple of million and Michael will not have to be out there hustling as hard. Oh, you thought that he actually wanted Lindsay to succeed because he was genuinely interested in her success? LMAO.

Michael's determination of success is money and how much of it he can skim off the top. Awards and accolades don't mean anything if there is not some money involved. I'm sure that he calls Lindsay everyday and pushes and pushes and pushes. I've also decided that he is much worse than Joe Simpson. Joe Simpson is a perv, but he is good at what he does, and I really do think he wants what is best for his daughters. He lives through them, gets chicks through them, and is a big hypocrite, but I still think he wants what is truly best for his daughters and if they decided to quit show business and move to Tahiti, I actually think he would be fine with that. Michael on the other hand. Not so much.

Stop here if you don't want to read anything nice about Lindsay.

By the way. I trash Lindsay often. But, I also am willing to admit when she does something great. The film Chapter 27 comes out next week, and Lindsay Lohan is amazing in it. The problem is that it was filmed two years ago and she is not the same person or actress. She was absolutely perfect in that role, even though she probably got paid scale. Jared Leto is also really good in the film, but the film itself goes soooooooo slow that the actors are kind of punished for it.

Ted C. Blind Item #2

Snarla Sledgehammer isn’t known for being subtle. She’s made her name—some say living—by being entirely in-your-face, whether you deserve it or not. And in the so-hip arena of blogging/TV commentary, the multitalented, attractive-enough babe (who’s got more hair than style sense, to be brutally Snarla-esque about it) currently shines, struts and reigns supreme. But then again, that arguable pro point’s hardly the thrust of this Vice.

Several years ago, SSH had a child, Spawna Sledgehammer. Lovely kid, really, but due to Snarla’s overzealous prioritizing of all things kiddie, turned out Ms. S couldn’t even take a dump without consulting her offspring’s homework schedule, much to the chagrin of Snarla’s friends and colleagues, who became increasingly frustrated with being cast aside—always in the name of playdates, and such. Snarla became reliable for snapping at her fancyass fellow workers not to interfere with her all-holy maternal duties. Not wise. But then she made the truly unfortunate choice of repeating the same self-obsessed behavior with trusted confidantes, including Pete Priss-Ass, a well-known fagola fellow boob-tuber and writer, whom Spawna had always leaned on for lengthy bitch sessions.

Much to the shock of many, Pete—not exactly a choosy customer in the great grocery store of love (he often squeezed melons he really shoulda stayed away from)—got himself engaged. Stunned, but more so ecstatic, PPA rang up his good amiga, whom he adored, and, absolutely beaming over the phone, invited Snarla & fam to the small, out-of-state ceremony.

“It’s not convenient,” was SSH’s first reaction. No congrats. No words of good-wishing gooeyness, just a thorough chastising for Pete’s thoughtlessness in selecting a wedding date not conducive to—you guessed it—Spawna’s activity schedule. Ouch! Does Pete have some kinda S&M thing going for his friendships, or did he just not get the memo that hetero day-planning always trumps homo?

Well At Least Katie Will Sell Tickets


Katie Holmes is going to make her Broadway debut this spring, in the drama All My Sons which was written by Arthur Miller. So far, Katie has only committed to doing the workshop for the play which is in May. The play also stars real actors such as John Lithgow and Dianne Wiest. Hey, weren't they married in Footloose? That just came to me. That is very cool.

Anyway, at this point I am considering Katie's performance in Pieces Of April a one off and I am not convinced she is that great of an actress. I know that she probably wants to be taken seriously as an actress, but doing Broadway will just expose every flaw she has as an actress.

Oh, I am sure ticket sales will be through the roof and Scientologists will be out in force buying tickets and forcing the crowd to do standing ovations. Tom Cruise and Suri will show up opening night, and then disappear. Well not actually disappear, just monitor her from afar like when she was shooting Mad Money. Turn up with his fake smile, and soundbytes.

Each night there will be a different celebrity minder in the front row, anxious to get backstage and make sure Katie doesn't say or do anything she is not supposed to. I just creep myself out when I write this. But, you can all see this right? You can see Tom Cruise standing in the front row opening night in his 3 piece suit giving that fake ass smile as he claps the loudest. There will be photos of him outside her dressing room with flowers to give her. Suri will be in Tom's arms. It is all just so staged that even three months in advance we all know how it is going to play out. Don't they know that we know that?

Who Casts These Dancers?


Each and everyday I am more convinced that the professional dancers on Dancing With The Stars are actually people who would have rather been on The Real World or one of those Fox shows where everyone gets naked and wants to have sex to stay on the show longer. I mean I guess it adds intrigue and a certain amount of chemistry to the show when you know the dancers are actually getting it on. So, when they show all those films of them working hard, you know that later they are going to go to a hotel and screw like rabbits. I say hotel because I can't keep track of which dancers is with which celebrity and from which years.

Now, my memory isn't so great anymore, but I seem to recall that Karina was living with someone when she started dancing with Mario Lopez. She then started doing the nasty with him and at the same time still saw the other guy she had been living with or boyfriend to. Then I guess that guy got tired of it so she moved in with Mario Lopez while he kept his strange obsession with the Panettiere family alive. Now, according to the NY Post, even though Karina is living with Mario, she was all over her new dance partner Mario. They were making out and groping as they were leaving the Four Seasons here in LA. I do have to give her some credit about actually finding another guy named Mario. It makes it much easier to let yourself go during sex if you don't have to worry about what name you need to call out.

Have You Heard About Remy Ma?


You may have read yesterday that female rap star Remy Ma was convicted of assault and faces up to 25 years in prison. Ma, real name Remy Smith, shot her friend outside a nightclub in July of last year thinking the woman had stolen $3,000 from her.

Smith yelled "Oh my god!" as the verdict was delivered, while her brother was taken out of the courtroom after shouting "This is bulls**t!"

Smith was ordered to remain in prison without bail until her sentencing on April 23.

Madeka Barnes Joseph told the court that she was shot in the abdomen and had to undergo three operations during her stay in the hospital.

I know most of us think that justice has to different levels. One for those who have, and one for the have nots. Completely true, but when there are like 20 witnesses to a shooting, justice starts to equalize just a bit.

The thing is that Remy and her brother and her entire family totally bought into the stereotypes that Remy would walk because she is famous. They didn't care, weren't nervous, and did not even take the whole thing seriously. At one point it had to be explained to Remy why there needed to even be a trial. Apparently she thought that as a celebrity, she should just go free.

Her defense team tried the tactic that it was an accident. That was about all they had to throw out there. Unfortunately once you take the gun out, even if it is an accident, that assault charge is coming. Pretty tough to take a gun out and hold it in your hand and say that part was an accident.

Ted C. Blind Item #1

If this one’s true, Butch Spit-Spat should haul out a friggin’ movie about it—after all, isn’t that something he does rather well?

BSS, never one to be exactly primo to the ladies after bedding them, was nevertheless around one of them long enough to father a kid, now a teenager. And according to an outraged acquaintance of Blondie-Babe, a rising young twentysomething honey-haired actress, Blondie’s screwing Butch’s 15-year-old boy. Said amigo is trying to get B2 hauled into jail, much to the Spit-Spat boy’s great dissatisfaction, I’m sure.

Jeez. Don’t know whether to call the cops or Entertainment Tonight on this one. Both would treat the story the same, I suspect.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Today's Blind Items

#1 - This B/C list television actress who was one of the stars of a very long running hit show is on a new show now. She has made it very clear to producers that she is willing to do anything to stay on the show longer and is already dropping hints about how she is going to make sure she is the main focus of the show.

Another of my this is gold in another country items comes from Korea.

#2 - This 20 something actress who became famous for something before turning to acting has been in films and television shows, but she is about to become more known for her affair with the head of a major company in Korea. Seems the guy filmed one of their sessions and our guy's wife has a copy of the tape. Apparently the wife screened it for a few of her friends.

Random Photos Part One

Gabrielle Anwar is one of my favorite people in the entire world and therefore gets to be on top today.
This is like the second time in about a month that Andrew McCarthy has shown up here. Do you think he sits around and gets depressed about how he went from the top of the world to a guy who only gets mentioned when he shows up at an event?
Anti-Flag - New York


Kate Bosworth and May Andersen have to be wondering just what in the hell could make Helena Christensen look so damn awful. Maybe it is her new boyfriend, but she just looks messed up.
Speaking of messed up, Fergie turns "33" today.
In case you were wondering what happened to Eric Benet after he and Halle Berry broke up. Looks like he isn't going out alone much.
That new baby is slowly killing Chris Noth. By next month he will look like Michael Chiklis.
Calvin Klein on the other hand looks incredible.
Leona Lewis is the first British female to top the US charts in 20 years. Of course Madonna thinks she is British, but that doesn't count.
Glad to see that US actresses are not the only ones who enjoy this particular pose. This is Kaori Momoi at some event yesterday. She does have nice nails though.
There really is nothing nice about this.
But, it doesn't seem to stop 20 year old girls from wanting to f**k him anyway.
This is Jeff Ma. He is one of the people that "21" is based on.
It is really hard to believe that Steve Buscemi has never won a Golden Globe or Academy Award. He deserves one. He can do anything from drama to Adam Sandler and I think it sucks that he has not won a big award yet. Hell, he has only been nominated for one Golden Globe, and that is just outrageous.
To most people, this symbol represents peace. In Pamela Anderson's world it lets you know how many people she has done that particular day.
I love Mary McCormack, but just can't stop thinking of her as Howard Stern's wife.
Well on the positive side, it looks like Mary Kate Olsen has gained some weight.
Hello Mila Kunis.
Violante Placido - Rome
The opening of the Vitality Show in London.

Tatum O'Neal and her daughter.
Smashing Pumpkins - Sydney

Set Your Clocks And Calendars


I'm not an early riser, but thankfully millions of Americans who live on the East Coast of the United States are. Hopefully some of them watch the Today show and also love uploading videos to YouTube. That way, the rest of the country can sleep in, but can later tune in, to what promises to be about the best five minutes of television in the whole damn history of the world.

Paula Abdul is going to perform live on the Today Show on Friday April 25th. I want to emphasize that she will be performing live, with no backing track, AND will have to be awakened by about 4am to start slathering on all that makeup she is going to need to wear for an early morning appearance.

This is like the perfect storm of television appearances. The only thing that would be better is if she tied one on the night before and just got absolutely hammered. I don't know who suggested this idea to Paula, but I will be happy to buy them dinner. I also don't know which of Paula's people thought this would be a great idea. Did they watch that pre-recorded SuperBowl video with the million takes to get it right? This is live. Live I tell you and in the early morning hours. Singing live and early mornings are not a combination that Paula Abdul should ever embrace. But, she has, and to whoever made it possible, I say Thank You.


The Results Are In - Nicole Richie Wins


So how did the Jennifer Lopez baby pictures do? Depends on who you ask. As you will recall, People normally sells 1.4M issues of their magazine each week. The Christina Aguilera issue sold 1.3M copies while the Nicole Richie issue sold 1.8M copies. According to AMI, which is a company that owns many tabloids says the issue sold 3M copies, but actual supermarket data which is similar to soundscan, says the issue only sold about 2M copies. Lets split the difference and say it was 2.5M copies. At $4 per copy, an extra million copies sold would equal an extra $4M to People. They paid $6M for the photos and so lost $2M as well as more of whatever self respect they had left. Now, the talk is that Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt's new baby photos are going to sell for $10M.

I don't have a problem with Brad and Angie getting the money. The main reason is instead of trying to profit from having a baby as most stars are now, they will probably donate every penny to charity. I can't imagine any magazine selling enough copies to make a profit on the issue, but at least they can say they were helping it go to a good cause. Much better than giving it to Marc and Jennifer so they can buy more $50,000 furnishings for their nursery.

Oh, to give you an example of what was considered outrageous back in the day, Barry Levine who works for the Enquirer paid $100,000 to Lisa Marie Presley back in 1989 for photos of her baby. At the time it was the most ever paid for baby photos.

Why Go To A Restauarnt?


Lindsay Lohan went with friends to Nobu Tuesday night. Before going in she smoked a cigarette. She went in and sat down. She ordered some water. She got up and went outside and smoked a cigarette. She came back in, started text messaging and ordered one roll. She then went outside and smoked a cigarette and kept text messaging. She came back in and had one bite of food while she kept texting. Went back outside for a cigarette. No texting. Went back in, and paid only for what she ordered, (way to save that money) and left with her friends in tow. Total time at restaurant was about 45 minutes.

Hell of a dinner companion isn't she?

"Clubbing Is Not My Scene"


Who the f**k talks like that? Apparently Zac Efron does. He was quoted in an interview as saying, "I don't find myself drawn to that scene. I think acting is a tradition that far predates celebrity and, today, the two are just meshing. It's not even that I've made a conscious decision not to party. I don't think clubbing is a choice you make. You can have fun with friends without being part of that scene."

I think clubbing is a choice you make. You either say I am going clubbing or I am staying home. That is a choice. Does he think that some magic club Gods come down and choose who is going to go clubbing and who isn't, and that it is predestined or something.

I think the fact that he is 20 and not able to get drunk off his ass publicly without pissing off Disney is what is keeping him out of clubs. When his ass turns legal in August, I know he will start showing up drunk at clubs and being just as obnoxious as everyone else. Right now he is just doing things and people in the privacy of his own home.

I would have respected him much more if he had just said, "I can't go to clubs. I'm not legal." But to come across as this aloof guy with some kind of zen like attitude about clubs and the whole process of clubbing and the historical age of acting just sounds like someone who has spent too much time doing shrooms and big ass bongs and thinking he is better than the rest of us.

When he was asked about Vanessa Hudgens he said, "I don't want to be another 20-year-old actor talking about my relationship. I want to keep that private - sorry. All I can say is that Vanessa's a great girl. And I'd hate to say more about it because by the time this interview comes out, it may or may or may not be relevant."

So, Vanessa is a great girl. So is my cousin and the 80 year old woman I call mom. Not a lot of emotion in his answer, and the reason it may or not may be relevant is because Zac boy doesn't want to be caught in some type of lie down the road that he would have to explain. I wish he would have gone into greater detail about that "appendix" operation. Funny how those kinds of things happen just sitting at home doing nothing but being with friends and quietly discussing the greats who have played Richard III.

You Would Think Someone Would Notice A Suicide Or Two During Testing


I know this is a gossip blog, but it is also my blog, and so I can do pretty much whatever the hell I want. I had just finished the story about the NY subway worker who has a rags to riches screenwriting story and you can read about that here.

After reading that story I had a smile on my face, and was genuinely happy for the guy, and then another story caught my eye. Apparently the FDA is investigating the drug Singulair which is made by Merck to treat "stuffy noses, sneezing, and other allergy symptoms as well as asthma."

Why is the FDA investigating? Well it seems when you have a stuff nose and take Singulair, one of the side effects is that you get suicidal thoughts. WTF? Look I get allergies sometimes, but I would much rather just be f**king miserable for a few weeks, rather than take some pill which will only work for a few hours on the allergy, but might leave me dead before it wears off.

How did someone not discover this before the drug was approved? Did they test the drug in a mental hospital and so no one noticed if the suicide rate went up while it was being tested? Someone must have noticed somewhere. After the drug hit the markets, and after Merck became aware they were probably going to get their asses sued on a fairly regular basis, they added this list of side effects to the label: risk of tremors, depression, anxiousness and suicidal behavior.

I can hear the television commercial now. A really kind female voice is talking in the background while a couple are enjoying a hike through the forest. "Although side effects are rare, they may include rashes, red skin, tremors, depression, anxiousness, or a desire to kill yourself. Notify your doctor if any of these occur. Of course should you kill yourself before you can get an appointment with your doctor, then at least you won't be suffering from allergies."

The FDA is also reviewing Accolate and Zyflo, but has not determined if they make you want to kill yourself or not. I thought the idea was that they were supposed to do all this reviewing and testing BEFORE people started taking it.

DNfromMN - Movie Review - Flawless

FLAWLESS

Release Date 3/28/08

The Story: 1960s London, Demi Moore (Laura) is the only female executive at the London Diamond exchange, who continues to be passed over for promotions. Michael Caine (Mr. Hobbs) is the night janitor on the verge of retirement. Both are looking for a little financial security, and decide to rob the vault of just enough to keep them both comfortable for life, but not enough to be noticed missing. But things don’t go according to plan.

So this is almost the exact same plot as that Katie Holmes/Diane Keaton/Queen Latifah movie “Mad Money” that came out in January. So having seen both, it’s hard for me to not compare the two. Mad Money is something that entertained me for 90 minutes, and then I was able to forget it. Flawless stuck with me through to this morning at least. And part of me wants to see it again to see if I can catch the things they hinted at me missing.Demi Moore is good as usual. There won’t be any awards for her performance; despite some age make-up in the bookend segments as she tells her story to a modern young woman writing a story on women leaders in the 1950s. The only gripe I had is that her character is described as an American woman who went to Oxford, and she slips in and out of a mild British accent.

Michael Caine is still a charmer. And I can’t imagine Mr. Hobbs being played by anyone else. He’s prickly and quick and really a winner. As smart as he is, you wonder why he’s stayed being the janitor for 15 years.Unlike “21” which had no tension, Flawless keeps you engaged with the characters and you feel apprehension when they’re almost caught in setting up their plan or when plans are forced to change.

Not to say Flawless is flawless. There are lots of events that occur that are pure luck, and kind of plot holes. I was able to get over them, some people won’t.

What it’s Worth: $9.00 easy. In my opinion, it’s enjoyable and it’s worth spending a full price ticket on. It’s not exactly a popcorn movie, so it doesn’t get the extra money. Nor would I say it’s a “must see”, just one that if you’re planning on hitting a flick this weekend, this one would be worth your hard earned cash.

When Did He Find Time To Work?




The NY Post is reporting that former NY Governor Eliot Spitzer didn't just hang out with the brunette Ashley Dupre. Turns out Spitzer liked another escort agency just as much if not more. Yesterday, authorities in New York arrested Kristin Davis (I know. That would be really cool, but not her) who is a New York madam who ran a string of about 100 women, but personally took care of Spitzer. I wonder if she charged him or if he just made sure they never got busted. Kind of unusual for the madam to do the deed like that.

The madam used to work at a hedge fun, but instead started working as a madam and claimed she made $2M last year pimping out the ladies. No word on whether there were any man whores. She has allegedly been servicing Spitzer since 2003 or 2004, and has a black book containing 10,000 names. At $1,000 an hour for her hookers, those 10,000 people probably are people we know. Even prior to her arrest, Kristin has been trying to get a book or film deal. She also says that she is very willing to name names, which is why she may have had some advance warning before the cops came knocking. She was probably about an hour away from destroying everything and disappearing. She had already moved much of her money, and made arrangements to get the hell out of town which is why bail was set at $2M. That is a higher bail amount than many cases involving death, armed robbery, rape, sexual assault and child molestation.

Daily Mirror Blind Item

Which famous playboy is in a fair bit of trouble after sleeping with a married woman? The scorned husband is now threatening to beat - and permanently maim - the lover.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Today's Blind Items

#1 - This aging comic B list actor with a very famous marriage and divorce was so coked out at a party over the weekend that he never stayed in one spot longer than 30 seconds. By the end of the night he was drenched in sweat and had gone through his entire stash.

#2 - This lesser known B list actor of an acting family has always been considered to be the good one. Married and allegedly happy to a celebrity, his marriage is on the rocks. The main culprit is a little rock that he can't get enough of and which he got hooked on thanks to someone very close to him who is not his wife.

Random Photos Part One

Carla Bruni prior to meeting the Queen. It was considerably more than she wore in this photo which is totally NSFW. If you click, there is also a NSFW photo of Scarlett Johansson that also came out today.
I think I would rather be married to this Kidman. Antonia Kidman just seems almost normal. Almost.
Mya doing some great charity work for the North Shore Animal League.
I wonder if Kim Cattrall brings her bad acting skills to the bedroom also. Her boyfriend looks thrilled to be seen with her in public doesn't he?
Jessica Alba back to her regular grumpiness.
It has been awhile since I posted a photo of Devon Aoki. Love her shirt.
I noticed that during the launch of this new Kit Kat product that none of the girls in Girls Aloud including Cheryl Tweedy Cole actually ate any of the chocolate.
Will Ferrell on the set of his new film Land Of The Lost.
New boobs?
Nick Lachey certainly seems in a hurry to go play with them. Unfortunately he seems to be forgetting that he probably should be waiting for Vanessa Lemonjello.
All that is missing is her riding crop. I'm guessing she owns one.
Usher says hello to Tameka.

Robin Williams Getting A Divorce


According to the San Francisco Chronicle, Marsha Garces Williams filed for divorce last Friday citing the always popular irreconcilable differences. I think that anyone who is married to Robin Williams is going to have differences, and to have survived them as long as she has, shows that the woman has incredible patience and stamina, not to mention a love for all things hairy.

According to rumor and rampant speculation, the couple have not been living together for many months, and that this has been in the works for quite sometime. I think as the story evolves there will be lots more to come out which should be incredibly interesting.

Nick Cokas Can Stop Pretending To Look For A Job


Hey, Nick Cokas. Guess what? You can go back to laying on the couch and doing nothing. No need for you to keep pretending to search for a job that you had never wanted in the first place. Your new wife, got a job. It only pays $250,000 a year before taxes, agency commissions, lawyer fees, publicist fees, and greedy husbands, but it is at least enough that Nick can sit on his ass for a little longer.

Katharine McPhee is the new face of Neutrogena. No, not the entire company. Not even the aging line or the other good ones already taken by Hayden Panettiere or Vanessa Hudgens or Mischa Barton. No, Katharine is going to be the face of their anti-acne product line. So, Katharine will get a whole bunch of photos taken of her with no makeup and some big red marks which may or may not be zits, and then voila they will vanish thanks to Neutrogena. Meanwhile, Nick will be piling on the pounds at the craft service table, yelling encouraging things, while asking for a part for himself and hitting on anything that looks like it has the possibility of making more money than Katharine.

On a side note, I believe that is one whole dollar in Nick's hand for the valet. Last of the big spenders there Nick. If you are trying to save money, use a meter. Otherwise tip the valet the money that Katharine gave you to tip him and not pocket half for yourself.

Kindness Plug




This one is slightly different than most of the others, simply because there does not appear to be a focused effort to help this woman. The person who sent me this, just sent the link. I am posting the entire story here, but feel free to click over to CNN if you want to read it there.

Hi Enty -

This story was new to me - and it's incredibly horrible. I've done a bit of research and while there's a Bank of America fund that was set up in this woman's name, I can't find anything about a website or any kind of public call to help her and her family. They clearly need and deserve it. Is this something you'd put on the blog?

A devoted reader...


Debbie Shank breaks down in tears every time she's told that her 18-year-old son, Jeremy, was killed in Iraq.

The 52-year-old mother of three attended her son's funeral, but she continues to ask how he's doing. When her family reminds her that he's dead, she weeps as if hearing the news for the first time.

Shank suffered severe brain damage after a traffic accident nearly eight years ago that robbed her of much of her short-term memory and left her in a wheelchair and living in a nursing home.

It was the beginning of a series of battles -- both personal and legal -- that loomed for Shank and her family. One of their biggest was with Wal-Mart's health plan.

Eight years ago, Shank was stocking shelves for the retail giant and signed up for Wal-Mart's health and benefits plan.

Two years after the accident, Shank and her husband, Jim, were awarded about $1 million in a lawsuit against the trucking company involved in the crash. After legal fees were paid, $417,000 was placed in a trust to pay for Debbie Shank's long-term care.

Wal-Mart had paid out about $470,000 for Shank's medical expenses and later sued for the same amount. However, the court ruled it can only recoup what is left in the family's trust.

The Shanks didn't notice in the fine print of Wal-Mart's health plan policy that the company has the right to recoup medical expenses if an employee collects damages in a lawsuit.

The family's attorney, Maurice Graham, said he informed Wal-Mart about the settlement and believed the Shanks would be allowed to keep the money. Video Watch this couple's story »

"We assumed after three years, they [Wal-Mart] had made a decision to let Debbie Shank use this money for what it was intended to," Graham said.

The Shanks lost their suit to Wal-Mart. Last summer, the couple appealed the ruling -- but also lost it. One week later, their son was killed in Iraq.

"They are quite within their rights. But I just wonder if they need it that bad," Jim Shank said.

In 2007, the retail giant reported net sales in the third quarter of $90 billion.

Legal or not, CNN asked Wal-Mart why the company pursued the money.

Wal-Mart spokesman John Simley, who called Debbie Shank's case "unbelievably sad," replied in a statement: "Wal-Mart's plan is bound by very specific rules. ... We wish it could be more flexible in Mrs. Shank's case since her circumstances are clearly extraordinary, but this is done out of fairness to all associates who contribute to, and benefit from, the plan."

Jim Shank said he believes Wal-Mart should make an exception.

"My idea of a win-win is -- you keep the paperwork that says you won and let us keep the money so I can take care of my wife," he said.

The family's situation is so dire that last year Jim Shank divorced Debbie, so she could receive more money from Medicaid.

Jim Shank, 54, is recovering from prostate cancer, works two jobs and struggles to pay the bills. He's afraid he won't be able to send their youngest son to college and pay for his and Debbie's care.

"Who needs the money more? A disabled lady in a wheelchair with no future, whatsoever, or does Wal-Mart need $90 billion, plus $200,000?" he asked.

The family's attorney agrees.

"The recovery that Debbie Shank made was recovery for future lost earnings, for her pain and suffering," Graham said.

"She'll never be able to work again. Never have a relationship with her husband or children again. The damage she recovered was for much more than just medical expenses."

Graham said he believes Wal-Mart should be entitled to only about $100,000. Right now, about $277,000 remains in the trust -- far short of the $470,000 Wal-Mart wants back.

Refusing to give up the fight, the Shanks appealed to the U.S. Supreme Court. But just last week, the high court said it would not hear the case.

Graham said the Shanks have exhausted all their resources and there's nothing more they can do but go on with their lives.

The family's attorney, Maurice Graham, said he informed Wal-Mart about the settlement and believed the Shanks would be allowed to keep the money. Video Watch this couple's story »

"We assumed after three years, they [Wal-Mart] had made a decision to let Debbie Shank use this money for what it was intended to," Graham said.

The Shanks lost their suit to Wal-Mart. Last summer, the couple appealed the ruling -- but also lost it. One week later, their son was killed in Iraq.

"They are quite within their rights. But I just wonder if they need it that bad," Jim Shank said.

In 2007, the retail giant reported net sales in the third quarter of $90 billion.

Legal or not, CNN asked Wal-Mart why the company pursued the money.

Wal-Mart spokesman John Simley, who called Debbie Shank's case "unbelievably sad," replied in a statement: "Wal-Mart's plan is bound by very specific rules. ... We wish it could be more flexible in Mrs. Shank's case since her circumstances are clearly extraordinary, but this is done out of fairness to all associates who contribute to, and benefit from, the plan."

Jim Shank said he believes Wal-Mart should make an exception.

"My idea of a win-win is -- you keep the paperwork that says you won and let us keep the money so I can take care of my wife," he said.

The family's situation is so dire that last year Jim Shank divorced Debbie, so she could receive more money from Medicaid.

Jim Shank, 54, is recovering from prostate cancer, works two jobs and struggles to pay the bills. He's afraid he won't be able to send their youngest son to college and pay for his and Debbie's care.

"Who needs the money more? A disabled lady in a wheelchair with no future, whatsoever, or does Wal-Mart need $90 billion, plus $200,000?" he asked.

The family's attorney agrees.

"The recovery that Debbie Shank made was recovery for future lost earnings, for her pain and suffering," Graham said.

"She'll never be able to work again. Never have a relationship with her husband or children again. The damage she recovered was for much more than just medical expenses."

Graham said he believes Wal-Mart should be entitled to only about $100,000. Right now, about $277,000 remains in the trust -- far short of the $470,000 Wal-Mart wants back.

Refusing to give up the fight, the Shanks appealed to the U.S. Supreme Court. But just last week, the high court said it would not hear the case.

Graham said the Shanks have exhausted all their resources and there's nothing more they can do but go on with their lives.

Are You A Celebrity? Ask A Cop


About 11pm last night Richie Sambora got arrested for DUI. I don't understand why he would get arrested for DUI. See, this is the issue I have with repeat DUI offenders. You know you drink. You know you have been arrested for drinking and driving in the past, so if you must drink, stay at home to do your drinking.

Richie Sambora was in rehab twice last year that we know of. He has shown horrible judgment in the past, namely by dating Denise Richards, but also drinking to excess, not being where he should have been, and not being able to stop drinking even though it led to the collapse of his marriage.

Richie was driving a black Hummer so you know that he could have caused some serious damage to lots and lots of people. I doubt anything would have happened to him, but a black Hummer "driving erratically" late at night will scare anyone who is close or sees it coming.

In the passenger seat with Richie was a woman who police stated "was not a celebrity." Are the police arbiters of who is a celebrity and who isn't? Do they have a chart and add up all her points? Guest spot on King of Queens you get a point. An extra on The George Lopez show, lose a point.

We are just going to take the word of the police that she was not a celebrity? What if it was Heather Locklear who was running away from Jack Wagner? Or, maybe it was Denise Richards who didn't know Richie was even drunk because she was too busy worrying about her chapstick.

Of course, the likely explanation is that it was a hooker or some daughter of a record label boss.
I just don't like how the police get to decide if the person is a celebrity and on that determination tell us the name. Thanks to TMZ for the photo.

DNfromMN - Movie Review - 21

“21”

Release Date 3/28/08

I have been looking forward to this movie since I heard it was being made. I’d read the book it was based on a few years ago, and it was written to be made into a movie. It had drama, tension, sex, money, and gambling.

The Story: Ben Campbell (Jim Sturgess) needs money to get pay for medical school. His upper level math instructor (Kevin Spacey) sees Ben’s intelligence and quick thinking and recruits him for his card-counting blackjack squad. Every weekend, they go to Vegas to rake in the dough.

In adaptation, they lost the tension. My guess is that the loss falls into the hands of the director. You never get the feeling that something could go wrong, despite the opening sequence of another card counter getting beaten up. Certainly Laurence Fishburne is intimidating and the epitome of cool, but he’s been de-clawed by making him worry about his job security. But now I’m doing what I hate about movie reviews, complaining about what isn’t there when I should be focusing on what IS there.
Jim Sturgess is incredibly charming, and really the only fully fleshed out character – so he’s really the only one you care about. Luckily he’s in 99% of the movie. Kate Bosworth is the girl he’s been lusting after for 4 years, who is also on the squad. You never understand why she’s interested in him after ignoring him all this time. It just sort of happens. Again, she wasn’t given the chance. And she looks good.

Everything in the movie looks good, it just doesn’t have any substance. And it’s not terribly original. You won’t see any interesting directing, or any showy acting, or really anything special.

What it’s Worth: $6.00. It’s entertaining, and it’ll keep you occupied for a couple of hours, but you won’t leave needing watch it again.

Kneepads Magazine Does It Again


All day yesterday I watched as more and more websites linked to People Magazine and their story that Jamie Lynn Spears was showing off her new engagement ring to friends in Louisiana and in Mississippi. Kneepads Magazine used sources for this story. Using sources is for when someone does not want to come forward and be the one identified as leaking the story. If Jamie Lynn Spears is really showing off her engagement ring and wearing it in public and telling people in two states all about it, then why are there "sources?"

Presumably Casey "I don't have a job, but can afford a diamond ring big enough to keep a Spears child happy" Aldridge must have told his friends and family about buying the ring for Jamie, and how he was going to ask her to marry him and all of the things associated with that. What is he 18 or 19? You think he did it all in secret, snuck up to Jamie's house at night, called her on his cell, to come to her bedroom window and tossed the ring up to her to catch?

I think what happened is that there were a spate of negative stories about Jamie and her partying a few weeks ago, and that last week people were talking about how Casey was dating other women. So, what is a family trying to do that wants all of this to seem legitimate? How about a call to Kneepads? In return for this story, People will probably get a special discount on the exclusive photos of Jamie Lynn's baby. Unless of course it is obvious that that the baby does not belong to Casey, in which case, they will borrow some blond hair blue eyed baby from the nursery in the hospital.

Will Katie Holmes Die Mysteriously?


In this week's edition of Star, they talk about how sick Katie Holmes has looked recently, and how she has constant headaches and dizzy spells, and rarely eats in order to stay rail thin. Star also said that Tom disappears from the house for days on end and has frequent boys nights out. Have you noticed none of those trip or boys nights out are photographed? Just his nights out doing very safe, heterosexual things with his family.

While reading it, I just got this feeling that Tom Cruise can't go through another divorce. This would be the third one, and presumably he is young enough where he will want to have another arrangement with someone which would mean a fourth marriage at some point. Also, even though it wasn't a marriage, he did have the long relationship with Penelope Cruz that also failed. Does Tom Cruise want to be seen as a three time loser at marriage while at the same time his career is in the toilet?

He thought a wedding to someone much younger who had lots of young fans would give him that extra boost of fandom. Instead it has made him look like a 50 year old trying to control everything in the world including his wife and kid. (Speaking of which, it has been at least 45 days since Suri was seen in public. Is she already being indoctrinated?)

So, how does Tom make himself look good, get great publicity and get the entire world on his side? Katie dies. If Katie were to die, people would feel sorry for him. There would be an outpouring of love. People would listen to how Scientology helped him through it. He could drag out Suri and have her stand in some kind of JFK Jr. like pose which would make everyone cry.

Tom would get in every magazine and on every talk show as people sympathized with him. Instead of a three time loser at marriage, he would be a widower, and a single parent.

I love the people at Star. They are always nice to me, and I think they do great work. What I worry about though is if the source that is giving them these Katie is really sick stories, is someone with a pro-Tom agenda and is setting up Katie for something more tragic.

Wanted To Be At American Idol Last Night? - Read This

Last week I slammed American Idol for sending two CDAN readers home because they wanted to admit VIP's who are only VIP's in their own mind. Although I still think American Idol is in the wrong, because some people have their vacations ruined by this policy, they did do the CDAN readers right. This is a report from one of them. I can't remember if she wanted to be identified or not, so if she does she can say it in the comments.

Let's just say I love a live show and it was worth the wait. Even my friend who was all pissed off ended up having the best time and got to hug Randy and shake Simon's hand.

So let's recap:

About a year ago I put my name on the wait list thinking I might at least get a shot at the finals, but instead waited a year before bona fide notifications started to come in by e-mail. The audience ticket service works with many different shows and had sent e-mail offers for other shows, notably to American Band (or whatever it was produced by the AI team) that was suffering so badly that I got offers of AI tickets if I went to a taping of that show.

So, the real offers started to come, first for rehearsal tickets that were already booked by the time I got home, and the one day I happened to be home early, I caught the e-mail right as it came in, clicked, and behold I had a voucher for 4 for last week's taping.

The secret to getting in is to get in line before 3 pm with your entire party. Emily and I got in line last week around 3:30, standing near the approximate cutoff point, and ended up standing on Beverly Blvd until nearly 4:30. That's when we were told that we would have priority vouchers for the next week and sent home.

I called the ticket office on Thursday, was treated very nicely and got the voucher faxed over immediately.

By the way, if two of the members of your party decided to go to Yang Chow in Chinatown instead of joining you in line (they were running late and chickened out when they drove past the line), and instead your party was checked in for only 2, the new voucher ended up being for 2.

So Yesterday, we were at the top of the line and the first to go into the holding area for the AI audience. We were also the group that got interviewed for "Idol Extra" by Constantine Maroulis and Nic (?), both of whom were very gracious to autograph requests, etc.

Keep in mind that there are two parts to the audience, the VIPS that come in though a different entrance with big "hard card" tickets with seat numbers, and the standing room/mosh pit crowd that is right up next to the stage where we were. As it turned out, we were right in the back near the judges, right where they walk in and out during breaks, good view of everything, and very involved with everything going around.

The judges are a class act, not afraid to be up close, and gracious to the fans who have supported them through the years. That's why my friend got her hug from Randy and a hand shake from Simon. I know you're going to want me to report the snarky remarks she made about Paula, but Paula is a very special little lady that spent plenty of time after the show in the mosh pit, holding things up for those trying to clear the stage, but making fans very happy. There was no "Don't touch the hosts" -- just a request to keep the path clear for technicians and body guards!

The VIPS were a mix of family and industry sorts, like the cast of ""Til Death" sitting right behind us in the first row, assorted AI alums like Chris Daughtry who seemed to be escorting a certain latina from Grey's Anatomy (and yes, Sara Ramirez did stop by to say hello on the way out.)

Sanjaya (or some guy with the name Danny on his tag) was giving autographs before the show started, and the line of young girls wanting a ticket signed was not so long that it held up taping. To all the others who I may not have named, it's only because you held back from meeting the unwashed masses in the mosh pit.

By the way, would someone please tell Brad Garrett that it's o.k. to smile??? He had a very sour look on his face for most of the show.

The "mosh pit" experience was probably more fun than sitting in the hard stackable chairs that they have for the seated VIPS. We're on camera. and even if you can't see our faces, we're there waving our arms, clapping, booing, shouting, and generally having as much fun as you would have at any concert (but cleaner and alcohol free.)

It did get warm, enough so that Simon came back on set after a commercial break with a drink. Because it was a Coke, and Coca Cola is the sponsor, it got the o.k. to be seen on camera.

There is a large teleprompter for Ryan in the middle of the house, so signs in that section have to be held at chin level. You can also watch the play back monitor right next to it that has the count to air time -- amazing how the judges know exactly how long 4 minutes is! Quick rush for a drink, a call, a fix of make-up....

If you watched the show last night, you know that it was a good one. I have no idea of who will be eliminated, but it was fun watching the judges, especially Simon when what looks like a toothache turns out to be high prise for a risky song choice. Paula gets up and dances around during a song with a strong beat, and gives the sweetest, most heartfelt encouragement for each performance. I couldn't see Randy as much from where I was standing, and Emily kept saying how she thought she could do Ryan's job.

I could keep on, but I do have a day job that I need to get back to.

Since I couldn't take pictures of the show, here's a picture of Mark Rodgers with my friend Suzie who watched every show he was on and voted for him as many times as possible (along with everyone in Covina!)

Daily Mirror Blind Item

Which faded pop star is so desperate to resurrect her career, she is shamelessly touting her CV to James Bond producers and Hollywood bigwigs?

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Today's Blind Items

#1 - What is it about Gossip Girl and same sex love. First you have all these rumors about JC Chasez and Chace Crawford getting it on in some poolside cabana at the Roosevelt Hotel, and now you have one of the actresses on the show involved in a same sex relationship with another actress on the same network. Must be the water or something.

#2 - When you are trolling the internet looking for a hooker, the last thing either party wants is to be recognized. There is a very popular reality show on right now. At one point, one of the women on the show just was there one second and gone the next. It may have something to do with the fact that when a producer of the show hired an escort, our reality starlet was the one who showed up. Since they both had something on the other, an agreement was quickly reached and our reality star turned escort was given a nice chunk of change in return for leaving the show and never talking about it again. Well someone is talking about it, and somehow I don't think it is our married producer.

Random Photos Part One

The lovely Amanda Bynes starts things off.
It's been awhile since Andy Roddick made an appearance here. So I'm wondering if that thing with Andy and Mandy Moore was real or was it like that whole DJ AM thing and just for show.
Although I probably don't say it very often, I am impressed by the way Demi Moore is aging. I guess using those leeches to suck blood from her body really works.
The aging process has not been as kind to Debbie Harry. The homage to Diane Keaton's wardrobe isn't really helping matters.
VH-1 gave Danny Bonaduce a new show and it involves kids. This should work out well.
Yes, I know Bruce Willis has a girlfriend, and a hot one at that. However, how is that no matter what city Demi Moore shows up in, as long as Bruce is not filming he always seems to be right there. They even stay in the same hotels.
Ashley Tisdale looks out her front door to make sure the paps are there. I wonder how many favors she has to call in to get them to show up.
Been awhile since Marcus Schenkenberg made an appearance. He is one guy I have not checked to see if there is a possibility for some FFF action for all of you.
The absolutely hilarious Matt Lucas and David Walliams.
Mariah Carey - New York
My guess is that Tony Romo spent about $300 to win that stuffed animal, and no I am not talking about Jessica Simpson. She is probably less expensive.
Since we all know what Javier Bardem is playing with, I think we can assume that is in fact a sock.
I'm glad to see that Thandie Newton and Simon Pegg also agree that David Schwimmer is the goofiest looking SOB around.
REM - London
This photo must have been taken in the only five seconds that Pauly Shore was not staring at Porschela Coleman's breasts.
The Presidents Of The United States Of America - New York
For some reason this photo just makes me crack up. It must be Owen Wilson's hair or something. Check out those badges that he and Eric Dane have on. You think they might end up on ebay?

Why Madonna And Hilary Clinton Can't Make A Baby Together


When news reports came out a few months ago that Barack Obama and Dick Cheney were related I thought it would be interesting to know if there are any other unusual connections. Well it turns out there was a guy sitting in a dark room in New England for the last three years doing just that. This is culled from an AP story earlier today, but hey, they won't mind.

This could make for one odd family reunion: Barack Obama is a distant cousin of actor Brad Pitt, and Hillary Rodham Clinton is related to Pitt's girlfriend, Angelina Jolie.

Researchers at the New England Historic Genealogical Society found some remarkable family connections for the three presidential candidates — Democratic rivals Obama and Clinton, and Republican John McCain.

Clinton, who is of French-Canadian descent on her mother's side, is also a distant cousin of singers Madonna, Celine Dion and Alanis Morissette. Obama, the son of a white woman from Kansas and a black man from Kenya, can call six U.S. presidents, including George W. Bush, his cousins. McCain is a sixth cousin of first lady Laura Bush.

Genealogist Christopher Child said that while the candidates often focus on pointing out differences between them, their ancestry shows they are more alike than they think.

"It shows that lots of different people can be related, people you wouldn't necessarily expect," Child said.

Obama has a prolific presidential lineage that features Democrats and Republicans. His distant cousins include President George W. Bush and his father, George H.W. Bush, Gerald Ford, Lyndon Johnson, Harry S. Truman and James Madison. Other Obama cousins include Vice President Dick Cheney, British Prime Minister Sir Winston Churchill and Civil War General Robert E. Lee.

"His kinships are across the political spectrum," Child said.

Child has spent the last three years tracing the candidates' genealogy, along with senior research scholar Gary Boyd Roberts, author of the 1989 book, "Ancestors of American Presidents."

Clinton's distant cousins include beatnik author Jack Kerouac and Camilla Parker-Bowles, wife of Prince Charles of England.

McCain's ancestry was more difficult to trace because records on his relatives were not as complete as records for the families of Obama and Clinton, Child said.

Obama and President Bush are 10th cousins, once removed, linked by Samuel Hinkley of Cape Cod, who died in 1662.

Pitt and Obama are ninth cousins, linked by Edwin Hickman, who died in Virginia in 1769.

Clinton and Jolie are ninth cousins, twice removed, both related to Jean Cusson who died in St. Sulpice, Quebec, in 1718.

Naked Pictures Make You Easy


Kristin Davis did the same Oxfam thing that Scarlett Johansson did, except for the fact that Kristin will actually meet you and even give you a pair of Jimmy Choo "Felix" style shoes whatever the hell those are.

Scarlett went for $40,000, but when Kristin was sold this week she went for $52,000. Now, the only reason I think she went for that much is because 'Superiorlotus912' thought they had a chance to get some. Probably saw the naked pictures of Kristin and said that it was worth $52,000 to have a chance at sex with her.

Everyone knows Scarlett was not going to put out. Hell, she wasn't even going to show her face. I have tried and tried, but it is pretty tough to get any, unless the person is actually touching you.

Another even more logical explanation for the huge sale is that 'Superiorlotus912' is a guy who got in a huge fight with his significant other. The significant other is a huge SATC fan and wants a new damn pair of shoes. The significant other had the flu during Nordstrom's half off sale, and wants to hear no excuses from 'Superior' about why or why not Kristin is too expensive. Just get the date with Kristin and get the shoes. Or, it could be Kim Cattrall and she just wants to make Kristin her bitch for one night.

FOX Tells The FCC To F**k Off


If you or I told the IRS or some other federal agency to f**k off and that we will not do what they say, we would probably end up in jail. But what happens when a company or in this case a huge television network and film studio says f**k off to an arm of the federal government?

The reason for the outburst by FOX is the FCC fined 13 Fox-owned stations and affiliates $7,000 each for a 2003 episode of the now-defunct reality show Married by America that featured a bachelor party in which naked participants were shown with their breasts and asses blurred out by pixels. Although the commission held that the pixelation made the scene "less explicit and graphic," than it would have been otherwise, it nevertheless found that "the material is still sufficiently graphic and explicit to support an indecency finding."

What FOX said is that if you throw a pixel up, then there is nothing wrong with showing whatever you want. Look, I am the kind of guy who will watch anything and I really don't care what is shown on television. However, if I show you two people having full on sex but pixel out the privates, would you consider it indecent? I think it would be. I don't think using a pixel makes something automatically decent.

FOX however has refused to pay the fine. If it were some tiny television station, the FCC could threaten to pull their license and the station would probably back down. But there is no way that the FCC is going to pull the licenses of all those FOX owned stations. It isn't going to happen. They give way too much money and would make sure they kept them. BUT, if they don't pay them are they setting a bad precedent? What's to stop all the other huge media conglomerates from saying they won't pay? They then can show whatever the hell they want and tell the FCC to shove it. Then, it starts to trickle down and the CEO's of the companies start telling the IRS to shove it and don't pay taxes and it just goes on and on and on until you have anarchy.

All from one stupid reality show that no one watched. Just pay the fine. Take it out of Seacrest's pay. He should be fined anyway for all those damn shows he is putting on E! anyway.

Nothing Like Not Being The Only Breadwinner


Cash Warren has a long way to go before he actually possesses a dollar that didn't come from Jessica Alba's purse, but at least she is trying to help her baby daddy do something that might possibly earn some money down the road.

Cash is involved in a social networking site similar to Facebook and YouTube. Besides hitting up Jessica for money he also has been hitting up NBA players which is why he was seen with Steve Nash last week. I guess the way it works is that the NBA player gets to go on a date with Cash and Jessica. She bends over a lot and the NBA player writes a check. Show enough cleavage and you start a company called ibeatyou.com I know, I know, but I don't think it is about people actually beating other people, although that would be cool. Kind of like bumfights goes to college, but with people actually showering.

So, in order to help this project as much as she can, Jessica Alba actually cracked a smile and looks way less crankier than normal in this video she participated in for Cash. Not like he paid her cash. Just that his name is Cash. Somehow I don't think he could afford Jessica's rates without using Jessica's card to pay for it. If he did that though then she basically would be paying for herself, and for that you don't really need a guy, just a toy.

Anyway, take a look at the video.

Did Gayle And Oprah Break Up?


I have read in a few places today, with the first being the NY Post that Gayle King has moved into a a $7.1M New York penthouse that Oprah recently bought. Every blog that I have read says that Oprah did it because Gayle is her BFF or gay lover or whatever. If that were true, then why would Oprah send Gayle off to New York? If she is your BFF or gay lover or work wife or whatever the hell Gayle is, don't you think Oprah would want her close? Real close? Extra special close? Wake up in the morning together close?

Well, buying her a penthouse in New York kind of defeats that purpose. I have two theories, and they are just theories. Gayle and Oprah broke up and this was Gayle's going away gift. A place to live, but nothing more. Oprah owns it and if Gayle does something wrong, then bye bye penthouse. My other more whacked out Heather Mills type theory is that Gayle is going to run a domination boot camp and keep Rachael Ray's husband and Dr. Phil in line so they don't cause Oprah any additional problems. The penthouse is big enough for both of the men to scream and cry like babies, but is still right in Manhattan so they can keep their day jobs. If they act up, Gayle either beats them or forces them to watch Oprah introducing A list celebrities on a continuous loop.

Heather Mills Is The Crazy Aunt Followed By The CIA


Before I start talking about Heather Mills and how she is the craziest loon this side of someone who has been anally probed by aliens, I wanted to know if anyone saw that new show on BBC about living in a dump. I just saw the previews this weekend but didn't watch it and am wondering if it was worth it. It sounded like it had a great premise but am wondering if they overdid the green thing or not.

ITV is going to air a documentary called McCartney v McCartney and while filming it they kept discovering just how much of a whack job Heather Mills is, and how you really can't believe even one word that comes out of her mouth. I wonder if that was something she was born with or whether she just did so much pretending when she was being a hooker that she lost any sense of reality.

Anyway, two of the funnier examples of her whacked outedness include the fact that she claims that back in 2001 Mills reportedly told Sunday Times journalist Jasper Gerard that the former Prime Minister and a Lord Macdonald had promised to make her Baroness Mills, prior to her marriage to Sir Paul McCartney.

She claimed that she had been asked to sit in the House of Lords but was undecided about whether to accept the honor. However, three Lord Macdonalds tracked down by ITV denied ever meeting the former model.

Gerard said: "I was pretty gobsmacked that somebody who was essentially just a model and a bit of a part-time campaigner, best known for being Paul McCartney's girlfriend, should be offered a peerage.

"Heather also told me she had cancelled a meeting with Bill Clinton in case her endorsement affected a US election outcome. I kept waiting for her to smile and say 'I'm joking', but she meant it."

Is she that delusional? These are only the things we are hearing about in public. Can you imagine what she must be like on a daily basis? Can you imagine what Beatrice is going to turn out to be? I am actually a little scared for that child. Look, I am not a big fan of Paul McCartney, and I thought he was a smart guy, but he must have been just following his d**k or something to be completely blind to how off her rocker this chick is.

I mean I know she must have kept her game face on, but she obviously let the Baroness thing slip before she got married and you know she must have told someone sometime about aliens kidnapping her or MI5 implanting a chip in her arm, or the fact that she was being followed by old customers who wanted their money back because she wasn't that good. OK, maybe that one isn't so crazy, but the rest is.

I actually do hope she wins her appeal now. I want to see what she prattled on about during the trial.

Unless It Involves Pinatas And Lotion I Don't Even Want To See It


The Sun is reporting that when Lindsay Lohan heard about that fake sex tape of hers last week that she immediately called Calum Best and said:

"I can't believe you would ever f**king do this to me, I should have listened to everyone. I should never have f**king trusted you. It's everywhere now, all over the net, everyone's seen it, how f**king could you?"

Now, first of all I don't know how anyone on earth would ever give Calum Best a $1.00 and expect him to ever pay you back, let alone believe him if he says that he is going to keep a sex tape private. You have got to be kidding me. A drug addict with a sex tape of a celebrity? How long do you think that is going to last in his possession? Most people would hold out for about $1M. Calum if he needed crack bad enough would probably give it up the tape for enough to get him through the week.

But, even if there is a sex tape, who cares. Seriously. Sex tapes between celebrities are never really a turn on. Oh, there is that first few seconds of seeing someone famous naked in all their glory barking like a dog, but after that it just becomes like any two people having sex, which is to say boring. It is porn without the acting or the editing. Yes, you might say that porn actors can't act, but I would say you are wrong. If you can act turned on and totally into it while Ron Jeremy is pounding away at you, then you are a good actress. You just happen to have a different acting skill set than Meryl Streep.

So, if there is a Lindsay Lohan sex tape, I don't really care. Michael Lohan will be first in line, but I don't really care. Now, if Reese Witherspoon has a sex tape, that would be interesting. She seems like she would not be much of a giver. More of a taker.

Daily Mirror Blind Item

Which skinny TV presenter isn't as wholesome as she likes to pretend? The weight-obsessed star can't keep food down and repels crew members with her bingeing.

Monday, March 24, 2008

You Can Call Me Hans

On Saturday night I was supposed to go to this Young Hollywood party. However, I wasn't feeling really young, and so decided to not be the guy who goes to try and make himself feel young or to pick up women who are less than half your age. Hello Bill Maher. Yes, he was there. The oldest in the crowd by about a decade.

At one point I had wanted to go because I had planned on playing a game that I really enjoy but had not played in awhile. I was going to go to the party as Hans. A portly banker from Germany complete with German accent and some German vocabulary thrown in for good measure. I was going to get drunk off my ass and introduce everyone to my exchange student companion. Lots of people play similar games when they go to bars or such, but in this game, you know in advance what you are going to do and stick with it no matter what.

I used to play the game all the time. Back in the day, I was friends with an A lister. Not like best man at a wedding friends, but before he hit it big with one really huge movie, he would go out often and about a third of the time he would drag me along. To be dragged along you had to be committed to the game. Although our Academy Award nominated actor had not had the huge hit at the time, he was known and was recognized not so much by name, but as, "hey aren't you the guy who was in... you were so good." This actor is an incredible actor, and he felt that to enjoy going out, you needed to be able to truly let go which was not possible if you were trying to protect your brand such as it is, and so came up with these elaborate characters. This was truly method acting.

When he decided to portray a stockbroker with a serious coke habit, he spent the entire party shoving coke up his nose like it was the last coke on earth. This party just happened to be right after he had just got some of the best reviews in his career, and I don't know if he consciously or unconsciously chose a character that would really allow him to forget for a night, or what. The thing is that even though he sucked up a ton of coke that night, it was the only time I ever saw him doing it. He just really got into these characters.

There was one party where he looked someone who just walked off a 70's porn set down to the polyester pants, open shirt, gold medallion, and Tom Selleck mustache. It was like a Halloween costume, but he bet everyone he knew that he would find at least one woman who would actually go home with him. He did better than that and actually had two women almost coming to blows over this guy because they both wanted to go home with him.

As he became more well known it was harder to get away with doing them because no matter what he did, or what role he took on, invariably someone would recognize him and ask him what he was doing and at that point he would just go home. I know when he had his huge blockbuster, he was professionally happy, but it effectively put an end to his theater within a party that he loved so much and didn't give him an outlet to really just let go and be whoever he wanted to be for just a night. Now, he just hangs out at home with a friend or two and his current girlfriend of the day, but whenever I am at a party and see someone who clearly does not belong or is way over the top, I always look really closely to see if maybe he has decided to give it one more shot.

Random Photos Part One

Emilio Navaira was in a serious bus accident over the weekend. I know many of you don't know who he is, but he is someone I have known for a very long time and to see him in critical condition is really tough. Of course, Emilio is a pretty tough guy as well and know he will pull through this and get back to playing some great music.
Aretha Franklin - New York
30 Seconds To Mars - Cape Town
The 3rd annual International Pillow Fight. Do they inspect these things before people start whacking each other, or is this simply an honor system thing?
Lior - Byron Bay
One of the reasons I love Random Photos so much. 50 years from now people will see this photo in a book somewhere and wonder what happened that night, and what it was like to see all three perform at the same time. Of course, I think only 2 of the three performed at any one time, but you get the idea.
Keanu Reeves looks damn good doesn't he? Wow. A shower and a shave within the past week and he is a different guy.
A 1980's we used to be popular reunion. I know John Stamos is still popular, but it doesn't work if you start excluding people from the joke.
The Sonics - London
The Horrors - London
The Black Crowes - Byron Bay
"Next time we are going to the Caribbean."
I'm thinking there are easier ways to hide a zit.

This Could Get Ugly


Heath Ledger's family is being accused of not being honest when it comes to the assets that Heath Ledger had when he died. According to the Sydney Sunday Telegraph, papers filed in New York listed the total assets of Heath Ledger at $145,000 when he died. The documents, according to the newspaper, list furniture and fixtures worth $20,000, a Toyota Prius worth $25,000 and $100,000 in miscellaneous bank accounts. That's it. A guy who earned millions in his career has $145,000 to show for it.

Michelle Williams' dad thinks it is a bunch of crap and that the Ledger family, with Heath's dad specifically trying to hide the rest of the loot.
In an interview with the Sunday Telegraph, Williams, a well-known stock trader, urged the Ledger family to "come clean with everything" and asked Heath's father Kim "to say where the income went and where the assets are. ... I have no idea what Heath Ledger was worth [but] they certainly haven't stated all of the assets to the court."

It is kind of hard to believe that Heath did not have more assets. It's not like he was a guy who was going out and spending a fortune each and every night. Now, it is possible that these are all the assets they have found as of the time the papers were filed. Often it takes several months to find where people had their money, or stocks or anything else they owned. Even if they had an accountant, it is not always easy to find where the assets were put. The good thing about this situation though is that because Heath did have a business manager and an accountant, they will probably be able to account for almost every penny and hopefully make both sides happy.

NY Post Blind Item

WHICH wrinkled, divorced dermatologist was hitting on the sales beauties at Bergdorf Goodman? He jumped from one to the next, pressing them for their digits, and one crafty hottie slipped him a wrong phone number just to get rid of him.

Turning Mom Into Money - The Michael Lohan Story


Grandma didn't get over by a reindeer, but according to Michael Lohan, Lindsay Lohan's grandmother is lucky to be alive after running her vehicle into a tree and pole while avoiding a speeding car. I want to be clear that I am ecstatic that Marilyn Lohan is doing well and I also hope that her husband is successful in his battle against cancer. In fact, when Marilyn got into the accident, she was returning from the hospital after visiting her husband.

When I read the NY Post this morning, I could see Michael Lohan coming up with just the perfect quote and could see his brain spinning like a gerbil on a wheel trying to catch the cheese. Michael Lohan called his mom's survival an "Easter Miracle" and that "Jesus kept her out of the grave." While I have no doubt he is just as happy as I am that she survived, I can also see him lining up his mom for interviews and talk shows and maybe even a People Magazine cover story, a cookbook, any or all of which would lead to a payday for Michael.

Of course, I could just be really cynical. I mean who would exploit their mother. It would be kind of like exploiting your kids or something.

E! Officially Changes Name To Whore TV


I don't think the name change is official yet, but obviously E! feels that women who have been paid for sex is the way to go for their future. Adding to the legacy of Anna Nicole Smith, Denise Richards, the Kardashians, Paris Hilton,and White Oprah on the E! lineup is none other than Pamela Anderson. In what is sure to being the network to a new level of class, Pamela Anderson is getting paid well over a $1M to appear on 12 episodes of a reality program starring herself. There is no word if she will try and find another guy in the world willing to pay her $250,000 for sex or if instead will follow her around as she gives it away for free.

In their new commitment to moral integrity, E! is also working on deals with Ashley Dupre, Heather Mills, and anyone else who can sell sex for money.

I find it really hard to believe that E! can't find someone else to follow around with a camera. I know that most of the readers here are women. If I were you I would be pissed that E! seems to think that the only women worth following are these women. They obviously feel that these women are role models for your kids or else they would not follow them around and show their lives. Several are mothers, so obviously E! believes they are the mothers who can offer the best parenting skills to the world. The question is what are you going to do about it?

Heather Mills Just Needs To Walk Away


You know I am not a fan of Heather Mills. I think that she represents almost everything that is wrong with the world today, and really has done nothing to make me ever wish her well. It was calculated that she got $1500 an hour for each hour she was married to Paul McCartney. I think Ashley Dupre would have been a much better deal for Paul, and she was probably better in bed and complained less.

Anyway, this is not about trashing Heather Mills. This is some advice. Apparently Heather is tiring of everyone reading the ruling from the judge in her divorce. Basically the judge called her a liar and Heather is sick of it. In a statement released to GMTV on Friday, Heather claimed that the full transcripts would "paint a far fairer and truthful picture" of the divorce battle.

Heather's lawyer has confirmed that she plans to appeal in court for the release of her testimony. She will also ask for the removal of a gag order which forbids her from speaking about her time with McCartney, who may be called to court to challenge the requests of his former wife.

Her attorney stated: "Heather is very frustrated. She feels that it's very unfair that the judgment should be printed in full when she cannot defend herself. She's planning to apply to lift the ban. It was damning enough that the judge made his judgment so clear and vividly - no one deserves that. It's like a prolonged hanging for her."

I know Heather's lawyer is probably telling her to keep on doing this. Well, one of the reasons is he knows she can pay the bill, and that she is the kind of client who will be paying an attorney for the rest of her life so it may as well be this guy. Heather just needs to walk away now. If the gag order was not in place she would go do interviews all over the place and basically look even more vindictive than she appears. She does not have the personality to pull off hurt and betrayed. She is just like the stripper who has worked far too long and just cannot even smile for a customer anymore. She also needs to leave those transcripts locked up. If the judge managed to find several lies Heather told on the stand, how many do you think professional news organizations will find with all the time and resources at their disposal? She will look much worse as article after article calls for her to go to jail for perjury.

Heather Mills is living in a fantasy world if she thinks the world is going to like her. Give us about 20 years and when Beatrice goes into rehab for the first time, show yourself on camera again with your 8th husband and we may start to like you. But not now. For now, just leave. Go away.

This Is Why I Stick To Pictures


Stuck in a checkout line over the weekend I sat there staring at the unnaturally thin face of Jennifer Lopez on the cover of Kneepads magazine. I had only previously seen the cover shot, and really was hesitant about opening the magazine to see at home photos of Marc Anthony. I expected to see him in some kind of Bing Crosby/Desi Arnaz mish mash, but hopefully without the beatings or the bad accent. Instead as I quickly glanced to make sure no one was actually looking at me, I read a few pages of the article and started laughing. Good old Kneepads.

It seems that Jennifer Lopez has taken a page from the Scientology notebook. Do an athletic event and everyone will think you are cool. I think that actual credit for this premise needs to go to Oprah Winfrey who participated in the Chicago marathon. Since then, stars with image problems or who want to make average mothers look even more shitty have started participating in these events to show that training for a marathon is not hard when you have someone to do the cooking, cleaning, caring of your children, and having sex with your husband for you.

Marathons are becoming blase, so Kneepads invented a new one for Jennifer Lopez. She is going to be running a triathlon in September or October. She doesn't know exactly when yet, or where, but she is going to do it. Why is she going to do it? To make her babies proud of her of course. That's right. Babies who will just about be sleeping throughout the night then will be lined up at the start finish line giving their mom a pep talk as she gets ready to jump in a lake and swim for a mile. If she doesn't succeed, their 6 months old psyches will crumble up and a trip to rehab is all but assured. I think the fact that they will actually get to see their mom for a minute or two that day will be something that would probably stick in their mind more than laughing their asses off at the thought of their diva mom actually jumping into water that didn't come out of a bottle.

If you can imagine in your mind Jennifer Lopez attempting this feat, then you need to go hang out with SpongeBob because I can't. I think it is a great story and Kneepads really did a good job of coming up with this one out of their ass, but I just don't think she will do it. Who will remember? And if pressed, she will just say she will do it soon but she had other commitments that kept her away.

Denise Richards Is An Idiot


Denise Richards has been given a second chance that most washed up actresses would jump at. A reality show. The only reason she got the reality show is because she was married to Charlie Sheen and is such a spoiled b*tch.

If you were only known for being married to Charlie Sheen and being a spoiled bitch you may want to think of a way to change the perception of everyone in the world who has that opinion of you. E! has given you a platform that you can share with other spoiled bitches like the Kardashians. Now is your chance. Show them what a sweet, normal person and parent you can be. Make people like you and then you may not have to just wander around LA for the next 30 years pretending you have offers for work, or wondering if you should pick up the phone and call Heidi to add some excitement to your life.

Instead of taking that advice, Denise instead chose to exploit the living hell out of her kids even after assuring the world they would only be filler on her television show. In an episode filmed last week, Denise had a birthday party at a spa for her 4 year old daughter. Charlie was not invited and was not welcomed. At the spa, the little toddlers had their nails painted, hair done, and were given complimentary monogrammed bathrobes. All of this was provided for free in exchange for a little product placement for the spa.

Instead of showing that she can be a normal mom with a party like every other kid in America, she decided to show the little girls how to start acting like a spoiled brat. Afterwards they all paid homage to Heather Mills, the hooker who made the big score. Heather was beamed in by satellite to talk to the little girls about the cost benefit analysis of charging by the hour and going for the long con of marriage. OK, that last part is total crap, but honestly, even if you think the spa thing is cute, you have to admit that using your kids like that is really shameful and obviously Charlie had a good idea what Denise was going to do which is why he went to court to try and stop it.

If I were the judge I would be really worried about the explanations I heard in court from Denise, and the reality of what is actually occurring.

Daily Mirror Blind Item

Which garrulous DJ had an embarrassing amorous encounter?

The object of his affection managed to get her chewing gum stuck in a rather awkward place.