Full Frontal Friday

It is that time of the week again. This week is all about musicians. Lots of them. This week's edition is linked to a new blog I created just for Full Frontal Friday. Apparently the weekly feature is popular and so I want to give it its very own home. Another reason is that people who are scrolling through old posts tend to suddenly come across naked men without any warning and so it has generated some fairly harsh e-mails. Finally, lots of sites that link to CDAN have said they will stop linking if there is NSFW on the site. Oh, and the new site allows anonymous posting just in case you want the world to know what you think of a certain package but don't want anyone to know who the hell you are.

As always, the photos are completely NSFW and you should be over the legal age in whatever country you are in if you want to take a peek. Of course if the legal age in your country is 21, but in Kenya it is 14, then try and find an ISP there you can glom onto. I'm not sure glom is a word, but I like it and it should be.

Here are the photos.

Four For Fridays

#1 - This fairly recently married B list film and television actress also known for something else, and it isn't singing doesn't want her most recent marriage to end. Knowing she will get a lot of crap for divorcing so soon, she is going to stick it out by just not seeing her husband. Right now they try and do everything apart. The husband is up for it because he loves being known for having married our actress in the first place, and he is hoping that it works out. If I were him, I wouldn't hold my breath. (No, it isn't Katherine Heigl)

#2 - This singer of a very popular hard rock band is having his own marriage problems, but it is nothing his wife has done. It is more of what he has done, and so now in an effort to save his marriage to this famous offspring he is going to anger management classes and rehab.

#3 - This television celebrity chef professes lots of love for his wife. The problem he is that he is also professing it to his girlfriend of six months.

#4 - This television host refused to say anything to anyone when she went to a recent event. She posed for photos and made it look like she was enjoying herself and mingling, but in reality, she ignored everyone who spoke to her. At one point even turning her face to avoid talking to someone. Total time at even was about 15 minutes. Total amount of people she ticked off was about the same.

Best Of PR

This week, I got 142 e-mails from public relations people trying to get me to post their stuff. On Friday's I am going to pick the very best thing sent to me and post it here. This week it is the UK singer Duffy. This was a no brainer because I already like her and the song "Mercy". If you are going to Coachella this year she will be performing on the third day. Get there early though if you want to see her because I think she goes on like 10th.

Random Photos Part One

An airbrushed Cameron Diaz gets the top spot. It is a welcome to Los Angeles issue, and I think airbrushing a celebrity fits really well into that theme.
I have to say that Bruce Willis and his girlfriend look good together.
It is amazing what they can do with wax these days.
David Tennant and Catherine Tate.
At this point I wonder what judge is not going to vote for Chloe Marshall.
Well if you have any spare change in your cars, I know who would like to earn it. I really don't think it is possible for a woman in a beehive to look like Keith Richards, but Amy Winehouse is really trying.
Chris Evans on the other hand looks great.
David Spade and Kid Rock are hosting the new Fox reality show, "Who would you rather do?"
I just can't look at Kristin Davis the same anymore now that I know she is kind of a biter.
The amazing Johnny Knoxville.
I think this is the start of 30 days of JC Chasez being seen with a different woman each night. It would help if he was not being so obvious in his attempt to actually be touching her.
That is a big piece of fur Eva Herzigova is wearing.
Lupe Fiasco - London
Linda Evangelista looks amazing.
Kanye West - New York
I guess I don't pay attention to Kelly Ripa because I have never noticed the tattoo. Was it in that Shape Magazine bikini cover?
Keanu Reeves always looks better when he shaves.
It must be take your family to work week here in LA as Rick Schroder shows off another son and
Keanu Reeves brings along sister Kim.
Yes, I know you all love Mena Suvari's ass, but the reason I am showing this photo is because it is new and explains better the arm around the girl. It looks like the three of them are getting a photo taken and so I am going to say that this is not Mena's girlfriend.
Minnie Driver looks great.
I guess we all know what Mariah Carey's favorite position is.
Well I think f**king Dominic Monaghan would be a step down from Matt Damon, but that is just me.
RIP Wayne "Frosty Freeze" Frost. In my opinion he was the best break dancer that ever lived. He died yesterday at the age of 44.
Taryn Manning is a mess. New hair color, but still a mess.
The Kooks - London
I'm not going to go. Are you going?

Lainey Blind Item

She isn’t eating. She hasn’t been eating for weeks, hellbent on losing what she calls some extra padding but what everyone else calls … nothing. There is nothing to lose. But still she needs to lose it.

Started dieting furiously a couple of months ago but wasn’t seeing results quickly enough so she’s cut back the food and as a result has turned into a total hag, chewing people out during production meetings, yelling at catering staff for daring to bring food near her, and getting into a little shoving match with her own publicist, who has the unfortunate position of having to attend to her as she ramps up promotion, over scheduling.

On the plus side, she is indeed growing ever slimmer. But the thinness is now accompanied by a telltale glassy look in her eyes which isn’t entirely unfamiliar. Being skinny can make you dependent and cranky and weak…

Which is why she hasn’t been able to finish a day’s work all week, always begging off early, complaining of the flu, or a migraine...and now the project is behind schedule, her agent has been called, and a talking-to is in the works. Career not in jeopardy… yet. But probably soon if she doesn’t start eating.

Daily Mirror Blind Item

Which celeb is so hooked on the old Colombian marching powder that he had to pop out to powder his nose no fewer than five times during a twohour film?

**Note** They did not separate twohour so I just left it together in case it is some kind of clue.

How To Waste An Entire Week Of Work

Most of the time I find ways for you to blow off 30 minutes or so of work. Today however, I have found a way for you to waste away an entire 40 hour work week and be entertained and informed at the same time. All of that sounds like an infomercial doesn't it? So Mike Wallace of 60 Minutes fame used to have an interview program back on ABC in 1957 and 1958. He gave those interviews to the University of Texas and they are all online. I tried to embed them, but I am lazy and there are lots, so you will just have to click over to their site. If you click the link for Gloria Swanson's video it should pop up, but if not, you can click here to see the entire list of interviews. You have to watch the Anthony Perkins one. Oh, and if you can't understand what they are saying, if you click on the T button on the video box, up pops a transcript.

Gloria Swanson

4/28/1957

Gloria Swanson, one of Hollywood's most spectacular stars, talks to Wallace about why she is not making films, sex appeal, Hollywood in the 1920s, marriage, plastic surgery, and cancer cures.

Watch Video Read Transcript

Nicolas Cage Whines And Whines

Kathleen Turner had to say sorry to Nicolas Cage for alleging in her book that Nicolas was arrested twice for drunk driving and for also stealing a chihuahua. Apparently Nicolas Cage didn't want all four of his fans to think he was some kind of menace on the roads or enjoyed the company of dogs.

Fortunately for us, all of this apologizing stuff is limited to the UK. The rest of us can just laugh and laugh at Nicolas because he wouldn't have any kind of chance of winning over here in the US.
You know if he had just let this alone it would have been done. The whole purpose behind all of this was he really does think he has a bunch of 10 year old fans because of the National Treasure films. Maybe he does. How many ten year old kids are begging their parents to read them excerpts from Kathleen Turner's book? Does he think Nickelodeon is going to break into programming to say that Nic Cage is alleged to have stolen a dog 20 years ago? Hell no. Are kids taking the time each morning to read The Daily Mail? What do you want to bet that maybe he made a move on Kathleen all those years ago and she turned him down. She was decent looking back then, and now he just wants to get back at her.

I think the chances are much higher that a 10 year old kid is going to be horrified by his acting in Peggy Sue Got Married than in anything he may have done off the set. I notice he doesn't seem to care that a kid might turn the channel and see him killing himself with booze and hookers. That is a great example to set for the kids. One paragraph about dog napping and drunk driving in a 300 page book is kind of going to get lost in the shuffle when a kid is watching Honeymoon In Vegas and asks his mom why the man from National Treasure is selling the woman from SATC to another man for money.

Pimpa Turned Jessica Into A Bit Of A Freak

Lost in all the shuffle yesterday of Perez Hilton outing John Mayer was the little throwaway line that said while the two made out, Jessica Simpson spent the entire time rubbing John Mayer's crotch. I always thought Ashlee was the freaky sister. I mean being with Pete Wentz you have to know that at some point, freaky s**t is going to happen. Whether it be animals or little people or unique uses for velcro, things are going to happen.

But apparently Pimpa must have taught both his little girls that it is ok to be freaky. I think we are all in agreement that Jessica was never freaky with Nick which is why he found the freakiest person he could. Anyone who saw Newlyweds and realized that Nick had to beg for a month and spend a couple of thousand to get anything other than missionary once a week from Jessica knows someone else brought the freak out of her.

So who was it? Dane Cook? He isn't funny but he looks like he could be a freak. Bam Margera? Another person who likes to play both sides of the ball so maybe. Maybe she was pulling trains on Dukes Of Hazzard, or Pimpa had a talk with her. Who knows. I do know one thing though. Tony Romo must have told everyone in the locker room. Remember how all the players thought she was a jinx, and then Tony had a talk with them and they all changed their stories immediately. Yep, obviously they all think they have a chance now.

I could just be seeing too much into this. She could have just been drunk as crap and didn't know her boyfriend was making out with Perez and just was doing what Daddy told her to do.

Hulk Hogan Gay?

Oh, wait a second. I guess that is a woman. I think. Are those breasts? No, not the ones on Hogan. The other person. She/it reminds me of that woman that Howard Stern used to always have on his show who said she was a woman but no one believed her. She finally took a test, and turns out she was a woman. Kneepads Magazine has obviously taken sides in the divorce proceedings and realized that Hulk's wife doesn't really have much of a future. Kneepads says that Hulk Hogan is in a much better place now that he is with Jennifer. Oh, huh. Well she has a woman's name, so we will go with woman for now. I mean Brooke is a woman or so people tell me, so I guess this person could be as well.

Kneepads Magazine said this photo is Hogan frolicking with Jennifer. Hey People how about that cover story with John Graziano. When is that coming out? I don't think he is going to be doing much frolicking in the near future. Where is the mention of the lawsuit against the Hogans and the pending criminal charges? None of that huh? Nope, just a lot of crap like the following sentence, "Best known for laying the smack-down, Hulk Hogan showed his softer side this week in Miami Beach – splashing around with new girlfriend Jennifer McDaniel."

Excuse me while I go throw up.

Ashton Makes It A Little Obvious

Let me see if I get this straight. No paps ever follow Lisa Rinna. She has to go to them. Yet somehow, Lisa Rinna ends up on a balcony in a bathrobe drinking wine with an 18 year old kid who has a sock in his pants and the pap just happen to be right outside the correct balcony at the correct time to take photos. There are about ten photos in the set and this is as close as they actually come to kissing in any of them. Lisa is laughing so hard that a kiss would probably be impossible anyway.

The only way that kid would be with Lisa is if she were chaperoning his high school prom or paying him lots and lots of bucks. For a woman who really has no remaining natural parts she is not bad looking, but to think that guy would be interested in her without some form of compensation is just not believable.

Ashton needs to start becoming more creative or this idea of his is going to go nowhere. Now, if he came out and said his marriage to Demi was part of a five year prank, and that he is really her adopted son, then that would be cool, and would explain a great deal about why Bruce hangs out with Demi so much. What they should have done is left a bathroom door open at a restaurant, and had Lisa's husband bent over the sink looking like he is doing lines of coke. Now, that would get some attention and some press.

All of the above comments go for the Marla Maples, Bachelor dude photos as well.

Ted C Blind Item

Fey Oiled-Tush is a very rich man. He’s also a very desperate man, as so many celebrated Hollywood players ultimately are. After all, doesn’t success just beget the desire for more success—rather than satisfaction? Always. Just ask Michael Eisner, Mike Ovitz, Meg Ryan and assorted other colossal check cashers who once thought the green would never stop coming, only to see the influx dwindle considerably. But this Vice ain’t about power, it’s about fag-hag ass kissing, sorry.

Margarita Screwed-'Em-All is a reigning queen of Tinseltown. And even though she doesn’t go out much, she sure as hell did at one time—always with one of her myriad lovers/husbands/pets. (Paris was so not the first to make a pooch a photo-op accoutrement, Margarita beat her on that score ages ago.) Instead, M-babe stays home at her art-filled mansion (which is a little on the tacky side, I must say, unless you prefer brass deer next to your masterpieces and that sort of overpriced mishmash style). However, she loves to receive. Particularly the gays.

True, she’s doing it less nowadays, but still, a flaming fagola—along with fewer and fewer members of Screwed-Em’-All’s own fam—still makes it up past M.S.’s fancy gates. And Fey, utterly distraught by the current downturn of his previously magical movie touch and sorely needing a pick-me-up, was dying to be one of them recently. Don’t think FOT mentioned anything about bringing the wife-unit when he—and not one of his minions—rang up Margarita’s secretary to request an audience. “Get him to buy me those jewels I liked,” Ms. S barked, via her assistant, back to Fey, message being no rocks, no tush pecking.

So Mr. Oiled-Tush, armed with the location of the baubles that tickled Margarita so, actually went and picked out a piece from the overpriced jeweler. Had it delivered pronto to Margarita, who, after tearing open the box which contained a sweet little piece, screamed: “One! He only got me one?”

Indeed, Fey had made the lethal error of purchasing not an assortment of expensive sparklers for Margarita to choose from—but only one already-selected lonely little lovely. Not good. Result being, there was no audience.

And the gift was not returned, bitch you very much. Poor Fey. What will he do for his mood-altering now, I wonder? Start up with the boys again?

Today's Blind Items

#1 - Apparently someone is living out whatever fantasies they can think of. This Academy Award winning/nominated A list film actor and his girlfriend decided to go car shopping. They picked out a modest $150,000 car to take for a little test drive. When they got back an hour later, they said thanks, but no thanks to the salesperson and drove off. Inside the car was the smell of sex and a used condom. Apparently someone decided not to clean up after themselves. The owner of the dealership placed a call to our actor to say that he did not find it humorous and was not sure if the car would be able to sell now because of the smell and was going to contact his attorneys. Our actor then decided that perhaps he ought to just go ahead and buy the car.

#2 - This rock star's divorce has been so acrimonious (nice word huh?) and he hates his C list ex so much that he loves calling her up and talking to her or leaving messages while he has having sex with whatever woman he happens to be with him at that time.

Random Photos Part One

When Agyness Deyn wears this outfit, it looks cool. When Juliette Lewis wears it, not so much.
You know what I love about Heather Matarazzo? The fact that she is proud of who she is and doesn't care what people think. Wish more actors would be the same way.
Eddie Vedder - Vancouver
David Foote scares me. He is a talented artist, but he scares me.
Mr. Ben, "I use Grecian Formula" Stiller and his lovely wife Christine Taylor.
The lovely Ali Landry at a hot moms event.
Louis C.K. is hilarious.
I would be getting drunk off my ass also if I was getting married to Beyonce on Friday. In fact, it would be the beginning of a lifetime bender of biblical proportions.
That whole Full House thing was kind of a premonition huh? That is one Full House Jodie Sweetin has going on.
I love Jena Malone. Love her, love her, love her, but she really needs to hook up with David Foote and they can make their very own Addams Family.
Julianna Marguiles certainly seems happy with Keith Lieberthal.
Mena Suvari and her boyfriend.
Mena Suvari and her girlfriend?
Is there a flood coming? Matthew Broderick must be expecting one because those pants are about a 1/2 inch from being embarrassing.
Lindsay Lohan visited the set of N.E.R.D.'s new video. Want to know the name of the song. Everybody Nose. Kind of appropriate huh?
Lifehouse - New York
Wow. Norah Jones looks amazing.
This cartoon seems appropriate in light of Naomi Campbell being arrested for spitting on a London policeman today. Hey, at least it wasn't a cell phone.
I admit it. I watched Perfect Strangers.

The lovely Melora Hardin and her equally lovable daughter.
Zoe Kravitz and Ben Foster are still going strong. That new haircut though just screams "I loved my mom on Cosby."
The Sutters. Dad doesn't seem to be working out as much.
Tell me again why Taylor Dayne isn't the female judge on American Idol.
Wow. When you become royalty they must just teach you from day one how to look as stiff and uninterested and emotionless as possible.
Norman Reedus looks like he could use some sleep.

Mel Gibson Has A Secret

Maybe Mel Gibson is afraid churches all over the world will come looking to him for money, or his own church wondering why he didn't tithe what he was supposed to. Maybe he is screwing profit participants or investors, or doesn't want his wife to know how much he makes. For whatever reason though, Mel Gibson wants all the financial records having to do with The Passion Of The Christ sealed so the public will not know the movie's domestic and foreign box office receipts, production costs and distribution expenses.

What's the big secret Mel? Right now Mel is being sued because he lied to the co-writer of the film. He told the writer the budget would be about $4M in order to get the writer to accept a much smaller than normal payment. The writer agreed. When the budget turned out to be $35M, needless to say the writer was pissed and sued. The aggrieved writer, Benedict Fitzgerald is also suing Mel for fraud in the action which would allow him to get punitive damages. That means big bucks.

Fitzgerald's lawyers will still be able to see the financial documents of the film, and hopefully the judge will let all of us see it as well.

Talented Actress?

If I came on here one day and started writing about what a talented actress Heidi Montag is you would think I had been sleeping with her or that she flashed me. Because you and I both know that even I was coked up out of my mind or barely coherent after three days of drinking, that I would never use those two words together to describe Heidi Montag.

Oh, I think she is talented in the sense that, well, I really can't think of anything. Oh, she is good at posing in bikinis. The problem is that she is supposed to make it look natural and instead it always look like she is auditioning for porn. As for acting, has anyone seen her music video? Wow. That is a train wreck. I will on the other hand give her points for pretending to be in a relationship with Spencer. She does that very well, but I think can only do it for short periods before she bursts out laughing at the idea of actually being his girlfriend.

As always this is not political. I am not political. All politicians do stupid things to make themselves look cool. Hell, some politicians even have sex with hookers to look cool. I have to tell you though I would much prefer a hooker loving politician than a candidate for President who we would look to in times of war or crisis who thinks Heidi Montag is a talented actress. Should we nuke such and such country? We only have 1 minute to decide. A hooker loving politician will be done with 30 seconds to spare and his or her mind clear. Lady politicians can get hookers too. A politician who thinks Heidi Montag is a talented actress obviously has some defect which will prevent them from ever making a decision.

Daily Mirror Blind Item

Which footballer is splashing the cash to make sure his mistresses keep their seedy shenanigans secret? He's spending more on that than on his own wedding...

This Is A Great Dad

There is a rock group in the Netherlands named Within Temptation. This week they are embarking on their very first South American tour. All the dates are either sold out or close to sold out. The band was started in 1996. Two of the founding members are a couple who have a two year old daughter. The father is the lead guitarist and the mother is the lead singer.

They have a babysitter is usually watches their daughter for them when they go on tour. This time, the babysitter was not available, and their daughter is too young to go. Instead of just leaving the daughter with just anyone, the father decided to stay at home with the daughter and send the band off with a replacement guitarist.

Robert Westerholt, who is the father said that it was an easy decision and that his daughter will always come before anything else. In an official statement, the band says, "Unfortunately, we have to inform you that Robert won't be able to go on the South American tour. "The reason is that we haven't been able to find a proper babysitter for the duration of the tour and that we are also unable to take Luna with us on this tour. "However, the rest of the band will make sure you won't miss a thing, 'cause they will make sure this first South American tour will be a memorable one!"

Just makes 50 Cent look like even more of an ass doesn't it? I wonder if he even knows all his kids names or their birthdays.

Kate Digs The Knife In Deeper Everyday

You know I really used to like Kate Hudson. Had a bit of a crush on her and was quite heartbroken when she chose to f**k Dax Shepard instead of me. That being said, I think it is a blessing because over the past year I have come to the conclusion that she is manipulative, frightening and always looking for a way to make your life more miserable.

Lets take a look back at the last year or so. She dumped her husband for Owen Wilson who she toyed with a f**ked around with and didn't want to be seen in public with. She then dumped Owen to go f**k Dax or Damien Rice or both which may have caused Owen to go off the deep end and possibly attempt suicide. Then seeing her own love life going nowhere, she decided to come between Owen and that model he was dating, and will no doubt break his heart again at some point in the near future.

Now, to make sure that she has all her voodoo pins out, and knives sharpened, she told Eve Magazine that she has a great relationship with her ex-husband and that they will often go to bars and she tries to find him a new woman to be with and date. "I look at women with Chris now. I can sit in a bar with him and we say, 'She's cute.'"

No, here is what happens. Kate feels guilty as hell for leaving Chris for another guy and so to compensate she tries to find him another woman. If he would find another woman then she would feel less guilty and also justified in her deceitful actions. The problem is that she broke Chris' heart and so everytime they sit there and she says something like that she just digs that "I'm not getting back together with you knife" a little deeper. Giving the interview and describing her efforts just adds some twisting motion to that knife.

She did what she did and she has to live with it. Now she needs to walk away from Owen so he can also live with it.

Don't Blame Bobby Brown

As you have probably seen this morning, The NY Post has an excerpt from Bobby Brown's new biography. Basically he portrays himself as an altar boy and Whitney Houston as the second coming of the devil. Did you know that Bobby never did drugs prior to meeting Whitney? Oh, he did some pot, but never any coke or heroin until Whitney practically forced him to take it. Oh yes, she forced him. The next thing you know he was hooked and as a result slept with a bunch of women.

He says that Whitney only married him to quiet all the gay rumors about her. The NY Post article doesn't mention whether Bobby has any personal knowledge of whether Whitney preferred women so I am guessing that he must have signed one hell of a confidentiality agreement when it came to matters of whether Whitney loves the vayjay.

Bobby says women throw themselves at him all the time, and that sometimes he couldn't control himself. Were they watching the same television show I was watching? On Being Bobby Brown, Bobby was not too attractive. He is willing to wipe your butt for you so maybe that is why the ladies find him so lovable. Not many guys are going to do that for you. Hell, we have a hard enough time remembering to wipe our own butts.

Other than that, it appears he has no way of making a living anymore as a singer because he sucks. He has about 20 kids who he can't afford and so spends a great deal of time in jail for it. He has a bit of a temper problem, and he enjoys hard drugs and drink. Just the kind of guy to bring him to the parents. Now that would be a great show. Bring Bobby home to different parents each week so their daughter can give them a heart attack by saying she is in love and getting married. Bobby and the girl can retreat into her room several times a day and jump up and down on the bed while she screams out, "you are so much better than Daddy." It's gold I tell you and right up VH-1's alley. There are no whores involved so E! wouldn't be interested.

50 Cent Is A Jackass

According to Radar, 50 Cent is headed to court today to evict one of his baby mamas and kid from one of the many houses he owns. 50 already went to court last month to cut her monthly payments from $25,000 to $6,700, and now he wants her and his kid gone from the house.

Now, I will be the first to admit that this particular baby mama is not necessarily a woman we would call a role model to society. However, just because she is not someone who is warm and fuzzy doesn't change the fact that 50 slept with her and got her pregnant. There are allegations that he lied to her about giving her the house in which she currently lives (at least for today), and he hasn't gone out of his way to be the best dad either.

Reports are that he wanted to kick her out because she was bringing guys over to the house and sleeping with them. Maybe 50 thought he still had her exclusively. I don't know and I don't really care. This is not about them. It is about a kid who is ten years old and has been going to the same school his entire life. Now, 50 is going to kick him out as well as a half-sister and send them to a far worse neighborhood.

I just think that as a parent you should do everything in your power to make sure your child has a great life. So he is pissed at the woman. Who cares? You want to take your anger towards her out on your kid who has done nothing wrong? You want to make him suffer because your pride is hurt? Are you planning on moving some other baby mama into the house? Money tight and you need to sell it? Be a man, and let them stay.

I really am disgusted with parents who abandon their kids. It is not just like a dog you can send to a shelter. I am even more disgusted when a parent chooses to make the life of their kid miserable when there really is no reason for the misery other than the fact they hate the parent.

Grow up 50.

Ummm. Do You Smell That?

Do you smell it? Smells like manipulation to me. Lots and lots of photos of Tom and Suri Cruise out at the playground. Problem is they were all taken last Tuesday. Today is Thursday. So unless they were taken by some guy on a family vacation who still hasn't mastered the digital age and used film, these photos are a setup. I have no doubts they are a highly paid setup, as the words that Bauer Griffin uses to describe them is nothing short of Kneepaddish which is often the case when someone says there are more where they came from if you give us a crapload of money right now and say nice things.

I don't know if Suri is talking right now but you know she must have been asking why she was the only kid at the playground who was wearing a dress, and why dad was always posing with her so his bright shiny wedding ring was being displayed. I love how they make all the photos look like they were taken from some pap photographer who no one saw, yet all the photos are posed. It is a nice touch. Hell, I wouldn't even put it past them to have built this playground in the back of Tom's house just so it looks like he is taking Suri places.

Does anyone find it odd that even though Katie has not done any work in six months that she couldn't find the time to head out on this family excursion? We have had separate Katie photos and separate Tom photos. No photos together since the double dates.

Anyway, if you want to see all the other candid photos, you can click here. If you decide to read Bauer Griffin's commentary which accompanies the photos, bring a barf bag, because it honestly puts People to shame. I have never seen so much kissing ass in one hundred words or less. They opened their mouths so wide they had room for the entire COS.

NY Daily News Blind Item

Which TV starlet could be the next to have embarrassing naked pix revealed? The racy snaps are a souvenir from her on-again, off-again hookups with a co-star.

Today's Blind Items - Jackass

This one kind of blew me away because this B+ film actor in a famous family is not generally known for being rude or a jackass. Maybe he was just having a bad day. We have a parking lot in front of a grocery store. there are several cars backed up in one of the lanes in the parking lot. The cars are all waiting for a van with handicapped tags to try and fit into a handicapped space. They took the angle wrong and are doing the back up and turn, back up and turn until they can get in the space.

Our actor is about two cars back in this line and just will not lay off the horn. Holding it down for 5-10 seconds a time and yelling out his window also. Well the van is finally parked, and as the cars begin to stream by, our actor opens the passenger window and yells at the man who is just now emerging from the van. Our actor then finds a spot, and on his way to the front door of the store catches up with the man who is walking as slow as he was driving and lays into him again. Our actor says he is going to call the DMV and that the man should not have a license and blah blah blah.

Two women come over to the man and help him to the store which causes our actor to back off and go about his business. His business was buying a shopping cart full of wine and booze.

Random Photos Part One

You know you are old when you remember actually watching the last episode of M.A.S.H.
Celine Dion - Melbourne

Bebe Neuwirth is looking really good.
When I first saw this photo of Amy Winehouse and Jodie Harsh I thought it was Andy Dick doing his Christina Aguilera impression.
Alexa Ray Joel is old enough to booze it up. Wow. I am getting old.
The staff over at Seventeen have definitely got the right idea. Instead of getting a cake every month for employee birthdays, they just go ahead and celebrate Amanda Bynes every month. Great idea.
Well when that marriage to Bill Joel falls apart Katie Lee Joel has a fall back job.
Haaz Sleiman and Danai Gurira are amazing in The Visitor.
You don't often see hockey players invited to events, but I guess they made an exception for Henrik Lundqvist.
Ryan Gosling discovered that the last one to pose with Ellen Barkin at night is responsible for packing her up and putting her back in her box for the next event.
It has been awhile since I had Colby Donaldson in the photos. He doesn't seem to age at all.
Ahhh. The happy couple.
Judging by the look on her face, Rachael Ray's husband must be talking to other people.
Notice the lifts in Mick's shoes.

Combined with his hair and some bent knees from L' Wren Scott and they are almost equal.
Liam Gallagher always looks so happy.

Those whacky French. The premiere of Disco. Yes, that is Emanuelle Beart in the back row. Looks thrilled doesn't she?

Velvet Revolver - Amsterdam (the final show)
Ray J- New York


The lovely Patrica Clarkson.
Paula Abdul in her 1970's Eddie Van Halen wig.

More On The Pizza

Yesterday, I basically said that Katie Holmes going out for pizza to bring home to her adoring family was all for show. Well to add fuel to that fire, check out the photo from yesterday again. The photo is actually Katie leaving the pizza place. Notice she has nothing in her hands. No pizza, no nothing. The reason? One of her minders was actually doing the carrying of the pizza while the other made a path. The order for the pizzas was made in advance and the caller used the name Katie Holmes to make sure the owners had enough time to call someone to get down there and take photos. Unfortunately, the owner didn't want to disturb the privacy of Katie and so someone else had to do the calling.

I wonder what Tom is up to. Haven't seen him since the fake double dates with the Smiths and a few nights later with the Whitakers to try and get more African Americans to join Scientology. If you don't think so, then your membership dues must be on time.

Less Than Half His Age

According to the National Enquirer, Robin Williams has found himself a new woman. I say woman because she is 27, although compared to Robin Williams' age of 56 it still could be considered robbing the cradle. Her name is Charlotte Filbert and she is an artist. They have been screwing like rabbits for at least six months, and were introduced by a mutual friend.

When I tell you the mutual friend you need to promise that you won't start laughing. The mutual friend who introduced them was Ally Hilfiger. That's right. Not Tommy, but Ally. Yes, that same spoiled brat Ally who was on the that MTV show. Yes, that Ally who has had a bout a million trips to the bathroom. Yes, that Ally who is also in her mid twenties. Maybe she got tired of screwing Robin. Not saying they were, but if they were, she probably got tired of all that hair, thought of her artist friend Charlotte and said she had a nice rich hairy guy for her.

When asked whether she was in fact dating Williams, Filbert stated,"I can't comment on any of this stuff."

No, of course you can't comment because this involves items of national security. Come on. Get used to it. You know that is why you started dating the guy. No one knew who the hell you were before, but now they will. Got paintings to sell? They will sell now. And if you were not a publicity freak then you would have said no when he asked you out and you sure wouldn't be friends with Ally who never met a camera she didn't love.

Charlotte is on the far left of the photo above.

Daily Mirror Blind Item

Which cleancut actor shocked his pals when he openly asked a supermodel for heroin at a music festival?

Fans would be shocked.

Do You Think Heather Mills Could Kill?

I know that Heather Mills says she is a vegetarian, but do you think she would ever kill Paul McCartney? I personally think Heather is at home eating a nice rare steak with bacon wrapped around it, so I guess I also think she could kill.

To me she just needs that little push and she will cross the line from obnoxious and annoying to killer. Many of you might think I am crazy, but I get the feeling that once she works out that Beatrice will get more with Paul dead rather than alive, then it is only a matter of time.

In her most recent cuckoo moment, Heather went ballistic when she found out Paul was getting a little something with a new woman. She just would not stop yammering about how they probably flew in first class despite the fact that Paul didn't provide enough money for Beatrice to ever fly in first class again. It is not going to stop Heather flying in first class, but Beatrice and the 6 people who look after her while Heather complains will all have to sit in economy. I mean $50M just does not stretch like it used to. We all can relate.

Apparently Heather called and called and called and would not stop asking him how much money he was spending and how there wouldn't be anything left for Beatrice. Now, she is threatening to call each and every woman that Paul speaks to or goes out with in order to remind them of the dangers of dating a Beatle. I think the main danger is Heather, not Paul. Oh, I think Paul is a cranky old man who isn't the sweet guy everyone thinks he is, but I also think he is not genuinely evil like Ms. Mills.

But is she evil enough to kill? Before you just dismiss it, look at the celebrities who have been tried for murder the past ten years or so. Is she crazier than them? Hell yes.

Another Guy Who Didn't Notice Anything

The inquest for Natasha Collins was released today in the UK, and to the surprise of no one, she died of an overdose of coke and sleeping pills. Natasha Collins was a former tv host in the UK who lived with her boyfriend who is also a television host in the UK. Her boyfriend was Mark Speight and he most recently hosted the show SMart which was for children so of course he is a real role model for the kids.

Mark was originally arrested and questioned for suspicion of murder and supplying the coke to Natasha, but all charges were later dropped. I don't know if they have wrongful death suits in the UK, but if I am her parents I want to know how Mark could be at home with her and not know what was going on. Are people that into their own lives that like with Howard K, that we don't notice a damn thing unless it directly involves us. Do we only notice others when they walk in front of our television or speak too loudly when we are on the phone?

Natasha had 3.42 milligrams of coke in her blood when she died. Wonder how much it takes to cause death? .70 milligrams. So, Natasha had enough coke in her blood to kill her five times, and sleeping pills, but Mark never noticed anything huh? He just said sure honey, go take a bath while you are jacked to the gills on drugs. Maybe later we can go out for some food and get you some more coke.

If I were her parents I would want to know everything and Mark would probably not be my best friend. He must have done something to make them happy though because they jointly released a statement today which said, "Natasha was a loving daughter, fiancée, sister and friend, with a very positive attitude towards life. She was always thinking of others. We are devastated that her life was cut short and we miss her deeply. She will always remain in our hearts."

I just want to know what happened and what Mark knew.

I Hate..

I really hate when celebrities start talking about their significant others. Whether it be how handy they are around the house or good they are in bed, it all comes off as insincere and usually spells the death knell for any relationship. Have I used knell in the blog before? I don't think so, but it is kind of a cool word. Reminds me of a science fiction film or something which I don't really like by the way.

Well, science fiction product Madonna is just all over everywhere because of her new album. Each and every year she becomes less human and more machine. I have read interviews with her in Elle and Vanity Fair and it seems as if she doesn't eat anything but that macrobiotic crap. As a consequence she doesn't go out to eat much. For that I am thankful because then I would be forced to see more photos of her in the tabloids.

Madonna says that her dream is to just work out six hours a day. Why? Combined with the crap food she eats, not drinking alcohol and having to look in the mirror, it really does not seem like much of a life.

In most of her interviews she talks about her husband Guy Ritchie and what a wonderful guy he is. She talks about how he wants her to be more feminine. If she actually said that, then he must be wondering what kind of woman he married who slowly turns into a man. Madonna says their sex life is great. See, I don't really want to hear that because honestly, I don't know if it is true, because it is not like she is going to say that the sex is horrible or that Guy can't get it up because he feels like he is looking at a man and he is not gay.

Of course she is going to say it is fabulous. She is Madonna. Sex with Madonna is supposed to be fabulous. Considering they see each other about once a year it may very well be fabulous. Sex with your hand would be fabulous if it was just once a year. Just release the album, go on Dave, do SNL and then go back to the UK. We will see you in about four years and we can do it all over again. Maybe by then Lourdes will be doing things I can write about.

Wal-Mart Folds Under Pressure

Last week, I posted about the Shank family. You can read the entire post here which also has a link to the original CNN story. Basically though it concerns a worker at Wal-Mart, Deborah Shank (pictured with her husband, Jim) who collected, after legal fees and other expenses, $417,000 in a settlement with a trucking company after an accident left her permanently brain damaged and in a wheelchair. Then Wal-Mart sued for the $470,000 it had spent on her medical care. Oh, and by the way, her son was killed in Iraq. Way to piss off both sides of the aisle Wal-Mart.

Ms. Shank currently has about $270,000 to get her through the rest of her life. After the $270,000 runs out, then you and me and everyone else in the US will be paying for her care. See, that is the crazy thing here. A company like Wal-Mart will say that by not collecting the money it paid out, then insurance premiums will rise and that everyone will pay more. The way I look at it, Wal-Mart has already been paid by the premiums from their workers for the money they paid out. They then get a windfall from the work of the attorneys for the injured. Then, there is still nothing stopping them from raising premiums. Meanwhile, the workers at Wal-Mart don't share in the windfall, have their premiums raised because Wal-Mart can point to all this unnecessary litigation, and then to really kick you in the ass, your taxes go up because you have to help pay for the injured person.

Subrogation was never really a big deal until about 2006 when the Supreme Court made it much easier for health plans to go after the money. Most health plans with a conscience don't do it. Obviously Wal-Mart doesn't. The only reason they caved is because of the bad publicity and because members of Congress have now threatened legislation which would put a halt to the practice entirely.

In caving to pressure, Wal-Mart had this to say, "Ms. Shank's extraordinary situation had made the company re-examine its stance. Occasionally others help us step back and look at a situation in a different way. This is one of those times."

Wal-Mart then went out and sued some more people for the exact same thing. Oh, but they lowered prices in the stores, ensuring that Chinese children will be working late tonight.

Thanks to everyone who sent me articles on the decision of Wal-Mart. I really appreciate it.

NY Daily News Blind Item

Which lead actor in a hit ensemble TV show brags that a female conquest isn't complete unless at least one of his hotel room neighbors calls security about the noise?

Today's Blind Items

This A list film actress has a new guy. He is also an actor. B list. Television primarily. The good thing about their relationship is that she hasn't done any coke since they started dating. Or pills, or drinking. She does have to deal with his ex though who isn't too happy about being dumped for the actress.

Random Photos Part One

I really don't know how many souls Cindy Crawford sold to the devil to look this good at her age, but I'm guessing it was worth it.
I wore the same thing last week when I visited a friend in jail. Copycat.
Angela Kinsey and Rashida Jones. Both are looking lovely.
Those Fed Ex guys who cart Ellen Barkin around the country, are getting very good at posing her.


Dustin Milligan is the first announced 90210 cast member. Prepare to have your life changed.
Hey grandma.
The funny thing is that Thomas Haden Church really does look like this. No posing required.
George Clooney for all of you. Although after having Sarah Larson you might want to scrub him clean first.
Ellen Page is back and beautiful.
You think Oprah would do this?
I think Eduardo Casanova is a guy. I think. It could also just be Mika in disguise.
John Krasinski apparently thought this was senior class photo day.
Jenna Fischer looks amazing.
Some Javier Bardem for you.
And if you want a Bardem sandwich here is his brother Carlos.
Goran Visnjic is a giant compared to his wife.
When your wife is big at Avon you can get $1M a year to sell their cologne.
Looks like Jim McCallister posing with Sarah Jessica Parker.
Hey, it's the recipe stealer.
Well if she is wearing an engagement ring she must be engaged. Kind of like all the women at bars who wear wedding rings.
You think James Lipton got him some on the way to the premiere? I like to think so. He needs a quickie in a cab just like the rest of us.
Renee Zellweger actually looks pretty good here. Must be the lighting.
Where is that Silver Spoons theme when I need it? Or Erin Gray. That would be even better.
Anyone need a cat wrangler?
The lovely Parker Posey. Sorry about your show.
I don't even want to know what they are going to do with the leftover beef jerky. Brad Pitt always looks better when he isn't trying.
Thomas again with his lovely wife Mia.
The future Mrs. George Clooney then
and now.
"I can't believe you kissed that girl's ass."
Stella Keitel is an offspring I actually like.

Gabrielle Union Not Hiring

I always though Gabrielle Union was a pretty tough person, but I guess appearances are deceiving. A couple of guys put an ad up on Craigslist which sought a new personal assistant for Gabrielle Union. Problem is that Gabrielle didn't need an assistant and didn't put up the ad, or have anything to do with it. Seems this prank caused Gabrielle severe emotional distress and so she filed suit against the guys seeking monetary compensation for her emotional fragility.

According to the suit, Gabrielle was "humiliated and embarrassed" although I would think that it would be pretty cool that someone could pick any actor or actress in the world and they picked her. Hell, she doesn't even need an assistant, but the two utes, obviously thought she did and so raised her up a few notches on the list.

The two guys were not even in Los Angeles, but were in Georgia with a Georgia phone number. Only one person even applied for the job, and I think that person was a plant from Gabrielle because this one person who applied for the job just happened to also know Gabrielle and that is how she found out. Well if she knew Gabrielle then why in the hell would she apply through a couple of guys for an assistant job to Gabrielle?

So instead of just laughing it off, Gabrielle is suing the two guys and also is alleging a conspiracy that other people also took part in this hoax. So, what she is saying is that it takes four or five guys to put up a help wanted ad that only one person replied to which was a friend, and that after she saw the ad, Gabrielle freaked out and is emotionally scarred and wants to sue for millions.

What she should have done is put her own ad on the site with the phone number of the guys and how they were seeking live in assistance because they could not control their bowels. Offer a really high salary and they would have been flooded with calls. That is the way you get back at someone.

You don't need lawsuits and depositions and trials to know that it was a couple of guys who were stoned, drunk, or both at 3am and decided to post something on craigslist. When they were done with the ad, they each got a hooker and called it a night.

Send In The Clowns

Apparently all the Katie Holmes going to Broadway stories didn't create the kind of feeding frenzy that Napoleon wanted so he sent his minion/wife out to stir up some more. First stop was to get her hair cut. No more Laura Bush cut, Katie is back to the Tom Cruise is my twin look that she sported all last year.

To make sure that everyone noticed her new hair do, she was sent alone out to Pizzeria Mozza to buy two pizzas. She then had to head straight home or she would explode. If you are reading this and don't think this was some publicity grabbing and nothing more, then explain to me why Katie Holmes went out to go pick up pizzas. Hmmmm? You don't think one of their employees/brain washed normally do that for them? Not too many photos of Tom and Katie at the grocery store or picking up the dry cleaning, but lo and behold when it is time for a couple of pizzas, it is Katie to the store. Whats that? She just got a new haircut today? Whats that? She is in talks to be in a new show on Broadway?

I am actually kind of shocked that Suri was not with her because those rumors are starting to get out of hand. I guess they are waiting until the 18th to drag her out so the photos will go for more. To me that is sick and disturbing. All that says to me is that the only use they have for their daughter is publicity. They show her off all the time and then when they feel she is getting overexposed they put her in hiding for a few months until they can drive up the value of her photos and the publicity worth. It used to be that celebrities protected their children. Most still do. Unfortunately some celebrities just like to use their kids and are nothing more than a prop. Kind of like their wives.

NY Daily News Blind Item

Which small-screen actress has been texting and fawning over and otherwise smothering her '90s TV megastar boyfriend, just after her PR leaked the relationship to the press? At this rate, she might have to cast a new beau for next season.

Denver Gives Standing Ovation To Richie Sambora

Last night Bon Jovi played Denver. Instead of hiding shamefully in the corner or even staying home, Richie Sambora took front and center and was given a standing ovation by the crowd when he had the stage to himself for a solo.

When Jon Bon Jovi introduced Sambora the crowd got to its feet. "Hello Denver," he said, as the crowd cheered. "I just want to thank everyone for their support. Sometimes friends need the help of their friends to get by. This next song is one that keeps coming back in my life and is current again ... ." The crowd stayed standing and applauding as Sambora started playing "These Days."

I guess in Denver they might not have heard about Richie getting arrested for suspicion of DUI with two little girls inside and his girlfriend. It doesn't really matter whether Richie Sambora beats the charges and walks, the fact remains that he did not make a good decision. Instead of facing up to that mistake and doing something about it, he instead hit the road to earn some extra money and to get the love and adulation from fans that he certainly does not deserve.

He should be in rehab again right now, or at least trying to get his life back on track. He should be kissing his daughter's ass each and every second as well as the asses of the woman he was with and her child. He sure as hell should be kissing the ass of Heather Locklear who should have already gone into court to keep Sambora away from their daughter unless supervised.

But, nope, Richie is out on the road, living it up and just turning this into another, aww shucks rock star kind of moment. The fans in Denver enabled that behavior. They should have made his life miserable the entire time he was on stage.

Not Much Of A Stalker

You know most stalkers are pretty loyal people. They are out there buying tickets to see you at the movies, stealing DVD's of you from the local video store and keeping Home Depot practically in business by themselves with the amount of equipment they buy to keep you locked in their home.

So, I have to admit I was pretty disappointed in the stalking efforts of Emily Leatherman. First of all, before we go any further, does anyone know what the hell is wrong with her face? Is it a birth defect deserving our sympathy or is it some kind of poison oak or ivy from crawling through the bushes? All, I know is that she gives Ted Kennedy a run for the drunk face look.

Now, I am sure all of you read that she was arrested for stalking John Cusack. She was apparently caught because she didn't have any money to give the cab driver. Note to future stalkers. Cabs cost money. When the police arrived John Cusack was waiting outside and told the police that Emily was stalking him. That must have been pretty cool for Emily with having John Cusack personally handing her over to the police and knowing all about her. It was also nice of the police to let us know exactly on what block John Cusack lives so that way future stalkers have a head start.

Last year Cuscak got a restraining order against Leatherman because she wrote him a bunch of love letters. Oh, and she threw them over his fence with some rocks and screwdrivers also in the bag. My guess is they were not going to be used to maim John, but rather just to weigh down the bag so the letters would not fly away.

I am a little disappointed in Emily. Beside not remembering cab fare, it seems that she switches her allegiances fairly quickly. Just last year she was arrested outside the home of Tom Cruise for violating a restraining order. The fact that she only wanted to be audited, was not really taken into account. Once you pick someone to stalk, don't you kind of stick with that person forever? Isn't that the point of a good celebrity stalking? It isn't really stalking if you are picking and choosing by box office results. Maybe she just does it until she gets arrested, and then moves on to a new person.

Send me an e-mail when you decide and the rest of us will keep track. Oh, and get some chamomile for that rash.

When A Prank Turns Into Suicide

I know this is April Fool's Day and so though I would share a story that has been around the internet for awhile, but takes front and center today. I love pranks and practical jokes as much as the next person, but I also think there is a line you don't cross when you are doing so. The joke or prank should not actually make someone invest emotionally, and if something goes wrong, you need to just give up on the prank or lie and not see it through to the end. Whenever I think of a prank gone bad, I always think back to that Jenny Jones situation, and the guy murdering the other guy. You need to know when to back off.

Here is a little background to this current situation. What you have are some nosy ass neighbors almost in their 20's who decided to screw around with a 13 year old girl by inventing a MySpace boyfriend for her. When things started getting weird, instead of letting the girl in on the joke, the hoaxsters instead drove the girl into a frenzy and she ended up killing herself.

One of the hoaxsters was on Good Morning America this morning. Try to ignore that woman named Diane Sawyer who used to be a journalist and is now just vying for Queen Of The Kneepads.

Flirting Requires Movement

I really don't know how I missed this story last week, but apparently David Beckham has been "wild with jealousy" lately because of Victoria Beckham's flirting with lots of other guys. Excuse me, I must have missed something. I mean I could understand why David would be jealous because when you cheat on a loved one than you assume your spouse is also doing the same thing which makes you extremely jealous. It also generally spells the end of a marriage unless of course you have tons of money and can hide behind your work and shopping and reuniting with people you can't stand to go on a world tour.

The only problem with all of that is that Victoria Beckham can barely make any type of facial expression and can also barely make any physical movement without ripping something she has had done to her. How on earth is she going to flirt? I for one would never flirt with someone who doesn't even bother smiling, or in her case unable to. When I see Victoria Beckham I see a woman who just goes through the motions. She does the trophy wife thing and the perfect mom thing and does exactly what is expected of her at all times. She does and says the right thing all the time. It is extremely boring and cold and aloof. Flirting with her I think would be cold and emotionless and so I really don't think David has anything to worry about.

Daily Mirror Blind Item

Which celebrity uses her ugly friends to get off her face on cocaine and then, when she's high enough, ditches them for her pretty pals?

Today's Blind Items

#1 - This is more of a general thing since I could not even begin to describe the kids involved since I have no idea what tween show they are on and how you can blind them. BUT, who says drugs don't start young. There were at least two groups of 3-4 tweens all under 16 or 17 who passed around joints all night long on Saturday at the Kids Choice Awards. Nice huh?

#2 - This engagement announcement is a nice effort, but there will never be a marriage. Think Billy Zane and Kelly Brook.

#3 - This B list film actress with a nose for paparazzi disappeared off the radar screen for a few days. Public stories professed one thing while in reality our actress spent a few days with a foreign billionaire. You do the math.

Random Photos Part One

Wife is in London. David Beckham is all smiles back in Los Angeles.
In case you were wondering what is happening on the set of HSM3. Yeah, I don't care either so this is the last you are going to see it unless there is some big sex thing caught on tape.
In the future I think Jessica Simpson should avoid having her photo taken with her sister Ashlee and Kate Beckinsale bookending her. They just make her look really bad. Almost to the point where I feel sorry for her. Almost.
Gwen Stefani says she is having problems thinking of songs for No Doubt. Well she needs to get her ass off the playground and go make me a damn album.

Gerard Butler. Just because I care about each and every last one of you.
Lets see what we have here. Eva Longoria has her hand on Orlando Bloom's thigh which he seems to be enjoying. Or it could be a sock. On the other end we have Jennifer Aniston who allegedly has a thing with Orlando yet Jennifer has her hand nestled between Courteney Cox's thighs. I'm sure it is all innocent huh?
WTF is Denise Richards wearing and I am not talking about her kid either.
Duran Duran - Gold Coast, Australia
Today finally made official what I told you a few weeks ago. Kathie Lee Gifford is joining the program. Look for the Kathie Lee diva stories and how she wants to take over the show stories to begin in about a month.

I honestly just don't care at this point.
I really like Jodie Foster's glasses. That company needs to try and throw some money her way and have her do some commercials.
Jason Bateman just had his first encounter with Eva Longoria. Left the guy shell shocked.
Hot Hot Heat - Gold Coast

I would be smiling too if I took as many drugs as Keith Richards took, and got to live to talk about it.

I know Jackie Warner can kick my ass, but she looks awful here. She looked so much better with short hair. This is also the only photo I found where she is not actively trying to shove out that left breast and let us see that she isn't wearing a bra.
Note to photo agencies: I sincerely doubt that James Marsden's wife appreciates being called and guest considering they have been married for almost a decade. On a side note, James Marsden is now in my top five comic actors. The guy just always cracks me up.
I suppose Jennifer Love Hewitt could wear this if she wasn't pregnant, but the only reason would be so people would think she was pregnant and she could start the baby photo bidding war. Or she could crave attention.

Modest Mouse - Gold Coast

The one and only Margaret Cho.
Mariah Carey's new album is called Touch My Body. Apparently she wants us to know where she likes to be touched.
Madonna has slowly transformed into Martina Navratilova right before our eyes.
Lara Flynn Boyle doesn't really get better with age.

"So, you are going to ride 5,000 miles across the wildest part of Africa for charity huh? Good luck with that. Next time why don't you just send a check?"

Is Turkey so hard up for celebrities that they let Paris Hilton crown Miss Turkey?
Better than a night having sex with Jennifer Aniston.
NKOTB on the Today show Friday morning. Yes. All of them. So much for no reunions huh?
At some point I guess Moby is planning on learning the other curse words in the English language.

Well if Valerie got Eddie I guess Wolfgang can get A.J.

Val Kilmer is down to a svelte 250 now.
I think I like this outfit on Vanessa Carlton but I do have some issues.
The future Mrs. George Clooney.
Queens Of The Stone Age - Gold Coast

But Where Did He Get The Drugs?

The jury in the inquest of Anna Nicole Smith's son Daniel were successfully befuddled by the witnesses that mattered most and have stated that Daniel died of an accidental overdose and that no criminal charges should be filed.

What they don't answer in their report is who the hell gave Daniel the methadone, Zoloft and Lexapro in the first place. They also don't answer how Howard K Stern managed to not notice Daniel overdosing on these three drugs despite the fact they were in the same hospital room for 12 straight hours with Daniel's mom. Never even noticed that Daniel was so heavily medicated that he was going to die? Never noticed in all the years he hung out with Anna and Daniel 24 hours a day that the kid was hooked on drugs that he got from his mom. And who arranged for his mom to have all those drugs? Do you think Anna was calling around to friendly doctors? Maybe it was Sugarpie or Kimmy.

As for Daniel dying in the hospital room, Howard K would probably just say he and Anna were distracted by the newborn. I could see that for about ten minutes. What about the other 11 hours and 50 minutes? This is the biggest bunch of crap I have ever read. The Bahamas needs to show some balls and do something. Ever since this all started they have just let everyone walk all over them and this is no different. I'm disgusted and the people of the Bahamas should be disgusted with the people they have elected to represent them. All it says to the people is that if you have some money, you get to do what you want, including f**king around when people die.

Daily Mirror Blind Item

Which actor finds he is only able to perform in front of the cameras after a massive boozing session and five or more lines of cocaine?

Kneepads Magazine Has Sunk To A New Low

I didn't think it was possible for a magazine to open any wider, but somehow People Magazine has managed to open their mouths a little wider, and got their nose even browner. Look, as I have said before, this is not a political site and I really don't care who you vote for in whatever country you live in as long as you get out and vote.

Let me copy and paste the relevant quotes. The following is from an interview Sarah Jessica Parker had with People over the weekend. They are discussing her son.


"He's very into Barack Obama. On his own!"

Oh, really? So your kid who is 5 right now, sits in front of the television and while he is debating whether or not he should eat his booger he is also deciding on the merits of the upcoming US Presidential election. No doubt he split screens Fairly Odd Parents with Hardball and Hannity & Colmes just to keep abreast on the situation. After analyzing all the candidates he selected Obama.

"He's really, truly into this election," she says of her little guy's interests. "He's come to this conclusion on his own based specifically on Barack's gender. It's that deep. He's a fan and a true supporter of Barack Obama."

How can a five year old be really and truly into an election? I bet if you walked up to that kid right now and asked him who were the three candidates left he wouldn't be able to tell you. I guarantee he doesn't even know what the hell a president is. Yes, I know your kid is a genius so don't e-mail me. Every kid is super and fantastic and brilliant and gorgeous. That is why there are no ugly people in the world and everyone is a rocket scientist.

Aside from politics, Parker, 43, says James loves building things and spending time with his mommy and daddy.

I can't believe People used that sentence in a magazine that is actually published. You have got to be sh**ting me. It sounds like a f**king Christmas letter you would send out to all your friends at the holidays. I swear to God the reporters at People must have the most intense orgasms when they write this crap or else why on earth would they do it? Could be coke. Didn't think about that. Get them all addicted to crack and they only get some when they write something which eliminates any dignity they once had as journalists.

"Right now he's pretty taken with both myself and my husband. So we'll play blocks with him and he's really into Legos right now and he's really into Star Wars."

Wow. He is taken with mom and dad. Well, I guess he could be having a relationship with the nanny. Who the else does a 5 year old see on a regular basis? Yes, their teacher and friends at school, but the other 16 hours a day he is with mom and dad or nanny, and so he doesn't really know anyone else to be taken with.

And the Sex and the City star is savoring every minute she has with her son because, she says, "It's only a matter of time before he doesn't want me around."

Way to get in that movie plug. They had a plug for her other film as well in the article. Actually this is not an article, it is just garbage they are pretending is an article.

"Honestly, I love to do everything with him as long as he will have me around," she says. Even "brushing his teeth with him is enjoyable right now."

I'm okay with that sentence actually. She fails to mention the 30 times she has to yell at the kid to brush his teeth, but she probably has to yell at Matthew Broderick 30 times a day to stop talking dirty to Nathan Lane so it all probably gets lost in the shuffle.

Johnny Depp Directs New Video

Have you ever wondered what goes on in Johnny Depp's head? I think he has horror movies flashing around in his head 24/7 because that is the feel I get from this music video he directed for his wife Vanessa Paradis. After watching this video, I want someone to let Johnny Depp find the darkest 1930's horror film he can find and just remake it.

For sure he is the director of the video. Whether or not he is the guy in the hat is up to you to decide. It sure as hell isn't Ashton Kutcher, and it looks like Johnny. But is it Johnny? I think everything just reminds me of a horror movie right now because I sat through five episodes of Torchwood back to back Saturday night, and the one with the Night Travelers kind of freaked me out a bit and I keep seeing them when I watch this music video.

DNfromMN - Movie Review - Meet Bill

MEET BILL

Release Date 4/4/08

The Story: Bill (Aaron Eckhart) is unhappy with his life. His wife’s (Elizabeth Banks) family essentially has him by the balls: he works for them in their corporation, and they have funded his home, his cars, etc. When he finds out his wife is sleeping with the local TV news guy (Timothy Olyphant), he kind of has a nervous breakdown. Luckily, he has been roped into a mentoring program, and his teenage mentee decides to become the mentor at life enlisting the local Victoria’s Secret employee (Jessica Alba) as a visual aide.

As the movie was coming to a close, my darling boyfriend leaned over and whispered “Is this his ‘American Beauty’ moment?” And he nailed it on the head. Except Meet Bill has excised all of the drama, and just made it into a comedy.

It’s hard to picture someone as attractive (in my opinion) as Aaron Eckhart as a schlub. He now has a spare tire, but he’s still a good looking guy. Maybe it makes it easier to see him succeed. And I’m not ruining the movie, because it pretty much follows the classic mid-life crisis formula: good guy has done wrong, but figures things out in the end.I don’t remember ever hearing about Jessica Alba filming this one. So apparently, you can film movies without the paparazzi around. Honestly, her presence in this movie was my big hesitation about it. I skipped Awake, but I did see Good Luck Chuck—where she forced every line; although if I had to pretend to fall in love with Dane Cook, I’d probably look like I’m forcing it, too. She was actually very natural here. It looked like she was having fun, and that’s what made her a star. If she wants to get back to acting after having her baby, she should watch this movie and remind herself how she did it.It helps that her main costar, Logan Lerman as the teenage mentor, makes it easy to laugh and drives almost every forward movement. The movie is all Eckhart, but this kid steals every scene. I look forward to seeing his next movie (and he possibly could have saved Charlie Bartlett had he been cast).

But as a whole, did the movie work? Yeah, I guess. It’s message is kind of diluted in order to get some laughs, so I didn’t leave thinking: yeah, I need to change x,y,z in my life. It’s not a flashy movie, but it moved at a good pace, and just about every scene had some link to either set up something else or move the plot forward. And I think that’s why I have some hesitation recommending it. I’m not saying that a movie should change your life, but it should be worth your time and your money. It’s a quick 90 minutes, but you’ve seen just about all of it before. Would it be worth it to you to see the same story again, just with a different cast?

What it’s Worth: $5. I’d say if you’re in the video store and you see it on the shelf, pick it up. I can’t say it’s got anything in it that you would need to see in the theater. It’s not a movie people will be talking about other than “Yeah, I saw a fun movie this weekend.” People won’t be analyzing it or saying that it changed their life. It’s fun, light, but doesn’t have much substance.

P.S. If you’ve got a beer belly, please don’t shave your chest – you just look like an overgrown baby, and it doesn’t look good. Unless you/your partner has a diaper fetish.

Carmen Electra Will Work For Food

Carmen Electra has not quite regressed to the point of standing at an intersection with a cardboard sign and a box to scrounge up some dough. No, there would be a few demeaning steps along the way before it came to that, but she has started down that back staircase now. It is kind of sad really. She had a run there of about a year when she was doing that VH-1 show with Dave Navarro. I think it was during that show that she finally jumped the shark.

At this point Carmen has been trying to rustle up personal appearances for money. Here in the US and abroad. Apparently the offers are not as high as she would like so she is trying to sell herself out to Australia. Why the hell not? If Australians are willing to pay her ex husband (bet you forgot she was married to Dennis Rodman) than they should be more than happy to pay for Carmen.

Asking price? $50,000. Now, that is not for one night, or two, or even three. Nope. For $50,000 you can have Carmen Electra for an entire week. My math is shaky, but that appears to be about $7000 a day. Considering The Hooker tried to get that an hour, I think 24 hours of Carmen for $7000 is a hell of a deal.

Australians must not think so though. Since she has thrown herself out there, there has not been one nibble or bite. I think we all know where she can go for a nibble or bite, and no, it isn't over to Joan Jett's place.

In case you were wondering, Paris Hilton charges up to $1,000,000 for a week in Australia and will spend a total of three weeks there this year. Wow. I could have 20 Carmen Electras for the price of one Paris Hilton, AND I wouldn't be exposed to herpes. That should be Carmen's new slogan. Cheaper than Paris and herpes free. Not that either one is sleeping with anyone for the money, but you know. They come over to party and Paris finds some Australian boy from a nice family. Gives him a night of passion while she looks in the mirror and talks on the phone. Next thing you know he is in the STD section of the personals.

Stay safe. Hire Carmen.

Who Is Giving Blake Heroin?

I read in The News Of The World today that Blake got his ass kicked in jail again. By my count that is at least his 4th beating since he has been locked up. I'm not exactly sure why people like Pete Doherty always get to stay out of jail, while Blake is locked up awaiting trial, but I do like how if you are in jail, you are in jail and subject to always getting your ass kicked.

If we had a system like that I think people like Robert Downey Jr., and others who spent time in the California penal system would think twice about ever coming back. As it stands now though, they are basically just put in a VIP room just like in their daily lives. They are isolated and rarely in any danger at all. I guess the county and state are too worried about lawsuits to put them in with the general population. I think they should weight that possible cost though against housing them repeatedly over a multi-year span and see what works out best.

Anyway, Blake got his ass kicked this time because everyone thought he was holding heroin. They thought that because he has now tested positive 3 times since he has been in. Last I checked it was twice, so somehow he keeps using it and somehow the guards are just letting it come right in. Turns out that Blake didn't have any heroin on him which is really unusual. What I think is unusual is that Amy Winehouse couldn't get into jail to see Blake this week because she was late. No Amy, no drugs. Coincidence? I don't think Amy is passing drugs to Blake, but I would not be surprised if she is giving him money or some other IOU he can give to the suppliers of the drug. They can give Blake the drug, and then have someone on the outside go up to Amy and get some money from her. If I were them though I would disinfect that money in bleach or something before touching it though.

I'm also guessing that the guards in Blake's prison are on the take because after 3 times testing positive you would think that they would do something about it.

Daily Mirror Blind Item

Which footballer is in danger of getting the red card after tackling his team-mates little sister? The protective player will be furious when he finds out...