Full Frontal Friday---**Ads Taken Down**

Yes, yes, it is that time of the week again. That time of the week where you can find enough fantasy material to quite possibly make it through another weekend with your significant other. That is how I look at it. A service to make relationships better. Drinking also helps.

By now you have already clicked because you wanted to see Gerard Butler naked. For the rest of you though, I must warn you that the photos are NSFW. You will see why Heather Mills laughs and laughs and the British Invasion revisited, FFF style. Of course there are actors as well.

If you are under the age of 18 in Kenya then you cannot view this material. Anywhere else, please check your local laws, although the cops are probably looking at porn anyway. For educational purposes mind you. If you are ready for the show, then click here.

As always, I want to thank each and everyone of you who sends in contributions. If I haven't used yours yet, don't worry, I will.

Four For Friday

#1 - This C/B- list female cast member of a former A+ hit show is never seen out and about with the rest of the cast members. They all hang out together for the most part. Notice I said for the most part. However our actress is never included. The reason? She refuses to participate in their partner swapping which they enjoy doing on a fairly regular basis.

#2 - This former A list female singer, and now probably B based on work, but A in name recognition and diva behavior has a dog. The dog goes everywhere with her, including hotels. Unfortunately for guests and management, our singer doesn't always like having her tiny dog in the room with her and so lets her out to roam free anywhere in the hotel. Apparently the dog is trained to not leave the actual building, but will go anywhere else. And by go, I mean go as in do its business. Our singer's philosophy is that someone will pick up the mess, the dog doesn't bite and if they want her business they will perform this service. What she doesn't know is that her regular hotel chain has caught on and now lock the dog in one room or part of the hotel and release her when the singer comes calling.

#3 - The whispers are turning into murmurs. This B list celebrity marriage of convenience may be ending. It just doesn't seem to be working out quite like either party envisioned.

#4 - This former network reality star. Network. None of that MTV stuff or cable. We are talking network here. And it wasn't just one of the Bachelor babes or anything. You would know this person's name. She didn't win the contest but everyone has seen her if you know what I mean. Well when she found herself out of money and living back at home, with mouths to feed, she decided to turn to porn. She wears a wig, and does some weird fake accent, but it is her. The thing is that she is not all that attractive and because she won't use her name which would generate publicity, she is forced to do some things that mainstream porn stars wouldn't do all just to make a buck. What? You can't go get a real job?

Random Photos Part One

Amy Adams on the set of her new film. Have to say I don't like the look so much. I know she will be great, but don't like the look. Makes her look 40.
Makes you think Andy Dick might be trying to get something out of his nose.
Well at least Amber Heard doesn't look as ghoulish as earlier in the week.
Speaking of ghouls. If this wasn't Amy Winehouse, you know you wouldn't come close to her on the street. Love those protruding tendons.
Mmmmhmm. Works better if the tongue sticks out a little bit with the lip.

Wow. Didn't Chayanne used to be like a sex symbol or something? Now he looks like Brandon Davis, but with money.
Cage The Elephant - London
I love Cobie Smulders.
One of the kindness blinds. Alicia Witt. Looking lovely.

Ashton put up job or for Kathy Griffin's show? You know there is no way on earth that she would ever let a founder of Apple out of her grasp.

The lovely Kristen Bell.
Jason Segel breaks into a song and dance routine on the red carpet.
I need to get out more. Haylie Duff actually looks good.
Dave Navarro seems to be doing a really bad Gene Simmons look these days.

Russell Brand and his mother.

So, one of the reasons Paula Abdul and her boyfriend broke up is that he was allegedly cheating on her. The other is the fact that a report has come out that she takes up to four hours to get ready even when she is just going to the store.
That chemical peel still hasn't quite worn off for Melissa Rivers.
And so you are telling me with a straight face that Macaulay Culkin got to do Mila Kunis. Wow. This world sucks for guys like me.
One of my favorite people in the world. Leslie Mann.

Music from the Village People. Get in your head. Here we go.

Y

M
G? What the hell. It isn't that hard to spell. It's just letters. No tutors on Saved By The Bell I guess.
The Subways - London
The Courteeners - London

A 10 Billion Dollar Crackhead

When is the last time you saw someone use crack who is worth 10 Billion Dollars? I'm guessing Bill Gates and Warren Buffett don't own a crack pipe. It's just a guess, but I am going out on a limb and saying they probably don't. Until a few minutes ago, I would have said it is 100% certain they don't. Then I read about this couple.

Eva Rausing is married to the third richest person in the UK. She is American born and the daughter of a big shot at Pepsi. The couple is worth over 10 Billion Dollars and yet she was arrested yesterday trying to allegedly bring heroin and crack into the US Embassy in London. Nice huh? Turns out she can't go longer than a few hours without either drug and so always keeps them with her.

Her husband Hans was also arrested by police when they searched their home for more drugs.

The couple gives millions and millions each year to charity and Hans has Prince Charles on speed dial and gets to even call him Chuck. There are so many charities in the UK that would have gone out of business if it were not for this couple so what do you do? Do you just say, "oh well, let them do what they want," and risk having people say your organization supports crack heads or do you shun them in which case you shut down and crack heads who don't have ten billion end up without any help at all.

Do you know how addicted you must be to actually try and bring drugs like heroin and crack into an Embassy? Did she think they wouldn't find it? With the kind of money they have, I wonder if they just have a farm in Colombia that grows the coca and poppies for them. Then they sit around the house smoking and injecting and saying things like, "this is a really good vintage."

Your Turn

I thought that this week, instead of the Best of PR, I would change it up a little. About six months or so after I started the blog, I had a day where I invited everyone to submit to me whatever they wanted to plug, and then posted them all. Well, I am going to do it again, BUT, this is the big change. There are way more readers than in the past and I have much less time to proof and edit all the posts and make them look pretty.

So instead of me doing all the work, I thought I would let you have this opportunity to take over the comments and plug whatever you want to plug. I don't care if it is a garage sale in Terre Haute or your band or your blog. If you support a charity or have cookies to sell. Post it here.

It is not that I mind when you post your site in the comments, because honestly I don't care. If people like what you are saying, they should be able to go read more of it. To me it is no different than someone posting a great link to a story.

The only rule is that there can be no political plugs. None. Nada. Zilch. Don't want to see them, and if you post one it will be deleted. Depending on how popular it is, I can do it every few weeks.

To get things started, I will post three of my favorite websites. Although I love that you read my blog, I do understand there are other points of view. These are my three favorite gossip sites, and the people that run each are really great people, and we tend to help each other out which I also love. You probably already read them all, but if you don't you should check them out.

www.dlisted.com

www.celebitchy.com

www.nationalledger.com

I Feel The Pain Of Frances Bean Cobain

You know that you have a friend who is a little different. Maybe this friend is always getting drunk at inappropriate places, like church. Maybe this friend is just a person who really talks extremely loudly or resembles a mating elephant when he or she laughs. Embarrassment is just part and parcel of anytime that you spend with them.

The thing is they are just your friend. You get to go home at the end of the day or after the movie, and can check caller i.d. before picking up the phone. Unfortunately Frances Bean Cobain doesn't have that luxury when dealing with her mom. Now, I'm sure she loves her mom, but actually I have always wondered whether The Bean isn't in fact the mom in this relationship. How many times do you think The Bean has been embarrassed by her mother?

The latest incident occurred this past week in the Virgin Airlines First Class lounge at LAX. Courtney decided she needed to have a cigarette. Just had to have one despite the fact it is against the law to law light up in the airport. Instead of just popping in some Nicotine gum, Courtney decided to go ahead and break the law. Virgin was not pleased and kicked her ass out of the airport and told her she could fly the next day.

I'm maybe thinking there is more to this than just a cigarette, but the cigarette is the official reason. The Bean is 15 and probably told her mom to not smoke and that everything would be ok. Courtney probably told her that she was big star and nothing would happen to her. Unfortunately Courtney isn't a star anymore, just living off her dead husband's money and going through it at an alarming rate.

So, we can all imagine the resigned look on The Bean's face when Virgin kicked them out. The inevitable yelling and cursing from her mom. The indignation that Courtney could do anything wrong, and then the limo ride back home.

For her part, Courtney had this to say to the press. "I had a fag in the first class lounge, like two hits, and they wouldn’t let me on the plane with my daughter. They made some big thing like I’m a f**king terrorist or something. It was embarrassing.”

I'm sure it was embarrassing. Not only because you are not British yet use British slang, and also because you probably didn't even consider who was more embarrassed than you. Your daughter. Way to set another great example, and to make sure your daughter burns through her father's money in therapy.

He Can't Be Serious

Bobby Brown is ticked off at Whitney Houston because for some reason she won't sign off on the DVD release of his show Being Bobby Brown. Because she won't sign off, Bobby claims he really has limited income right now. Well maybe if you hadn't written a book where you basically accused of her turning you onto coke and making you become an addict she might have signed. Maybe if you hadn't come out and basically said your whole marriage was an excuse to hide the fact that she is lesbian, she might have signed.

Do you really think that trashing someone completely and then going to them and asking for a favor is really the way to go? Is this how you have managed to stay so successful for so long? Wait, oh, you aren't successful anymore. The only reason Bravo or NBC agreed to that show is because you were married to Whitney Houston. Do you really think Bravo would have been interested in watching you without her? No, because without her money they would have filmed you sitting on a couch all day dodging process servers, chain smoking Newports, and trying to convince the world you can still sing. You probably would have been 50 pounds overweight instead of the 30 you were. You would have set up some club gig where it would have looked full, but only because you promised all your baby mamas they would get paid if they and the kids would show up.

Please. The only way you are ever going to get her to sign is to give her about 90% of the money and agree to wipe her butt everyday for the next year.

Hell Yes She's Trying To Get Pregnant

According to the NY Post, Charlie Sheen's future ex-wife Brooke Mueller was on the set of Charlie's new commercial he was shooting and kept taking pregnancy tests and putting them on top of the trash. Besides a desperate cry for attention, what this shows to me is that she knows the only way to get whatever is left of Charlie's money is by having a kid. Despite the big rock on her finger, there haven't been any wedding bells. I'm not sure there will be any wedding bells, but if she gets knocked up, then just maybe.

BUT, even if they don't get married, and she gets pregnant, she will get paid. Now, I for one am totally not in favor of a woman doing this except in this case. She has put up with so much and basically just bent over backwards even outside the bedroom to make it appear as if they are a loving couple. She has played nice or mean with Denise Richards depending on the circumstances. She has leaked little bits of info for Charlie and has stood by him even with all the unseemly portraits that Denise has painted.

For this she deserves something, and if she thinks the only way to get something back for her investment is having a child, then go for it. Just don't expect Charlie to be interested in the kid until she is about 14 or so.

Daily Mirror Blind Item

Which celebrity is so paranoid about making friends she forces potential pals to tell her a joke to see whether they are worthy of being seen with her?

Maybe She Got Tired Of Playing The Hooker

The NY Post yesterday reported that Silda Spitzer not only knew that the ex-Governor loved him some hookers, but also just didn't care. Didn't care? Does this mean she was in the marriage for the fame and fortune and a life in Albany? I'm guessing that it is because Eliot hadn't touched her in about ten years and she kind of liked it that way. What did they have? Two kids? That was probably enough sex for her.

The only other possible reason I can come up with is that she might have some kind of monogamy isn't all that it is cracked up to be and so she understood when Eliot gave her the line about needing to be with other people. Unless. Nah. Couldn't be. Do you think she was seeing someone on the side? The new Governor of NY had affairs with women. Wouldn't it be crazy if one of the women was Silda?

Who the hell names their kid Silda anyway? You just know that kid is in for a lifetime of schoolyard beatings. That is probably the one thing she had in common with Eliot. That name must have been a real pleasure growing up also. What rhymes with Eliot? Smelliiot. Love it.

I would be really interested to know how much she knew and if it was just kind of a resigned kind of feeling or if she was going on Craigslist trying to find one for her husband when it looked like he was maybe interested in her for some reason.

Tara Reid Must Have Slept With Someone

In all the fuss today about Neil Patrick Harris saying he doesn't want Britney Spears back on HIMYM, a little throwaway line from the interview hasn't been mentioned at all. As you know, I am all about the little stuff. Besides, this is a Britney free zone (for the most part) so we need to talk about some other crazy chick. I don't usually use the term chick when describing a woman, but I feel it is more respectful than ho, and we all need to be respectful to Tara Reid.

Apparently there is an unknown character who is saying bad things about NPH's character on the show. The producers are teasing that it will be Britney making a comeback to the show, while NPH says, "no telling, but based on the stunt casting we've done in the past I'm guessing Tara Reid."

Don't you just love how he throws that stunt casting term out there. You have to love it. So, Tara Reid huh? The actress voted the worst guest star in the history of guest stars. How on earth did she get this job? I think we can all safely assume that it wasn't for her minty fresh breath, or her 6am snarl after being out all night drunk. Perhaps it is her acting skill? Hmmm. I think not, unless you want to count the fake moans on the casting couch or something. Apparently she made someone fell good for some reason if she is coming back. I hate to say it, but I would prefer Britney.

Hit, Hit Baby

Well he didn't actually hit his baby, but Vanilla Ice aka Robert van Winkle was arrested yesterday for allegedly pushing his wife. He said he didn't do it, and she said he did. He said his wife is bi-polar, she said he was upset that she was buying a bedroom set.

Wow, hate to see what he would have done if she got new carpeting. Vanilla has been arrested before on domestic violence charges and should be kept in jail just for being an all around jerk. I mean just the fact he is smiling like that after being arrested for domestic violence is kind of jerkish. I bet he was thinking,"hey this is going to be all over the internet. Free publicity baby. Ice is back."

You know that is exactly what he was thinking. Whether or not I actually did the crime for which I was charged, I don't think I would be sporting a s**t eating grin like that and know I would never be caught rocking a soul patch. I would be pulling that thing out hair by hair before they took that photo.

In his defense, and it is only the tiniest possible defense. She told the cops she wanted to divorce, and presumably told him as well, but still was going out and buying a new bedroom set. That is kind of just like saying, "you will be moving out soon and I am going to be having other guys in here and don't want to be reminded of you."

It doesn't excuse any pushing or hitting. There is never a good reason to hit a woman if you are a man, even if you are married to Denise Richards, but I get the feeling that maybe she wasn't being completely 100% honest. Not that he doesn't deserve a night in jail just for making us all listen to that crap he put out in the 80's . Geez was it that long ago. God I am old.

Ted C. Blind Item

Break out your umbrellas and stay out of the splash zone, Super Duper Cooper strikes again. Our sexed-out insiders are spilling about some other naughty boudoir behavior SDC has been up to besides becoming an Olympian at preorgasmic water sports, ugh.

Supes seems to like his female fans almost as much as he likes his steamy Hollywood girlfriends, and he treats both varieties of vixens with about the same amount of respect. The well-liked lothario scoops up the gals and spits 'em back out just as quickly, especially the ones who accidentally get knocked up 'cause of his encounters. Guy’s a low-down dawg, though his puppy puss makes him seem so much more innocent. Mr. Duper Cooper even marks his territory like man’s best four-legged pal: He’s been known to have his adoring fans line up against a wall, drop trou and go to town sniffing their derrieres like they were at the Laurel Canyon pooch park. Sounds kinda hot, but kinda gross. Don’t think this was just hazing for entry into the fan club—Cooper’s famous ex-flame was also privy to this way-too-personal inspection.

A bit too absurd for your prude tastes in titillation? We’re more confused than disgusted, since SDC also likes to throw on some gay porn while bedding his beauties. In fact, our too-close-for-comfort sources swear Duper’s desktop screensaver is none other than the male member, in its full pixilated 'n' engorged glory. Is this dude bisexual, or trying to cover up all the oft-blogged-about gay rumors by romancing so many willing ladies? Either way, he needs to be put on a leash before we turn back around to liking this lush lad.

Today's Blind Items

Are you a gay actor looking for a beard? Then look no further. This B/C list actress from at least two very hit television shows is willing to be your beard for a price. Apparently this actress has been approaching actors at parties who the public perceives as gay or are on the fence about and is willing to be their girlfriend for a price. The thing is it gets even better. She is offering more than just the services of a single woman in her 30's to act as a girlfriend. See, our actress is married and her celebrity husband is completely on board with the plan. Their idea is that any guy who can break up a marriage or at least appear to break up a marriage must be straight, at least in the eyes of the public. Meanwhile, the gay actor can enjoy fun times with our actress' husband who happens to like playing on both sides of the fence. This just has win/win written all over it doesn't it.

Random Photos Part One

Black Guayaba - Ft. Lauderdale
I am thinking the over under on Angie Harmon's weight is 90 pounds.
Alyson Hannigan looks really good.
It has been awhile since I posted the always depressed Emilie de Ravin.

Yay or nay on this look coming back. I really don't like it.
Da Brat looks Da _______
You know. All things considered they are pretty good actresses to pretend to be all happy to be together.
Like if I hadn't told you that was Jonathan Schaech with Brittany Snow you would have guessed it.
It's like watching I Love The 80's. You will never hear a bad thing uttered from my mouth about Jane Krakowski though as she delivered one of my favorite movie lines of all time. "Yeah, but my daddy says I'm the best." That's gold.

Glen Matlock - London
I'm just happy to see that Elliot Yamin is dealing with his mom's death and getting back to doing what he loves doing most.
It wasn't that long ago that you couldn't open a magazine or turn on the television or see a film with Estella Warren in it. The bottom drops out quickly if you are not careful.
I've decided Eddie Izzard needs a nickname. I like The Izz.

Hey Leelee Sobieski. Alicia Keys called and wants her hat back.

I love Katie Perry. And her bling. Definitely made me laugh.
An I Spy book from Katie Price. Ok. I'll play. I spy a set of really bad fake breasts.
"When you're as famous as me, then I will go ahead and remember your name. Hell, maybe I will even pretend to date you."
For all of my 12 year old fans. Here is Jesse McCartney.

It's not actually possible to get pregnant while breast feeding right? Because I have to tell you, I am getting that pregnancy vibe from Nicole Richie.

You think Matthew McConaughey is getting tired of Kate Hudson and the clothes from her mom's closet that were last seen while filming Foul Play and serving fondue.
The lovely Minka Kelly.
I never thought I would live to see the day where Axl Rose was photographed wearing a bikini.
The Feeling - London

Sean Penn alone in New York. Hey maybe Ashley Dupre has some free time.
Steve Miller - Hollywood
The lovely Shirley Manson doing some work on behalf of an AIDS organization.
"So when Robert got done having sex with all of his co-stars..."

****Batman Spoiler Alert**** Heath Ledger

Turns out that a key scene in the new Batman film may have to be cut because audiences have not reacted well. The scene shows Heath Ledger's character The Joker playing dead inside a body bag. When it first came on the screen people were gasping and there was a great deal of shuffling and murmuring as well. For obvious reasons there is an argument to cutting the scene, but the scene is also crucial to the film, and so right now no one can decide what to do. I doubt it will be cut.

The good news is that Heath Ledger gave the performance of a lifetime and people will always be talking about his Joker and that it puts Jack Nicholson's Joker look like a Three Stooges episode. With no Katie Holmes to bring the film down with her box office jinx, Warner Brothers is expecting the film to be absolutely huge.

Daily Mirror Blind Item

Which celebrity hates mingling with "ordinary" people so much she calls them muggles? The British actress only socialises with celebrities, dahling...

Ry Ry Might Be On The Market Soon

According to a report in the Boston Herald, Ryan Reynolds and Scarlett Johansson were having a very heated argument right in front of the entire world. OK, well at least in downtown Boston.

“The Ryan guy was clearly being a baby,” said our spy. “She kept grabbing his arm and he’d yank it away and she’d keep saying ‘Ry, come on, Ry. Stop.’

You know how you know this source knows what they are talking about? No one could make up that Ry s**t. It sounds just like something Scarlett would call him, and I can also see Ry Ry being a big baby.

“He kept switching directions on the sidewalk like he wanted her to leave, responding over and over, ‘Roger that!’ - whatever that was supposed to mean.”

Giving Scarlett the cold shoulder while I guess he was talking on the phone or something. If he was actually walking down the sidewalk mumbling "Roger that!" to himself, then I don't think we can discount that Scarlett was helping him get through the splitting pain in his head from the voodoo needles Alanis sends into his body each and every day.

The hostilities ceased when the couple noticed that there was a photographer trailing them.

“He grabbed her hand and stormed away,” said our snoop.

Ahh nothing like some hand holding when the photographers come rolling your way. Hey, the guy says he is 32 and she is 23, so there is a big age gap. Plus I think she is into more of the lets have sex with a bunch of different people and enjoy the experience and Ryan is the guy who wants to stay at home with one person and watch his movies repeatedly.

Everybody Has Sex With Robert Downey Jr.

Robert Downey Jr. wants to let you in on a little secret. "Every movie's leading man goes to bed with his female co-star." Although I know it isn't true for every movie, apparently it is true for Robert Downey Jr. or else he would not have said it so lets take a look a a selection of his female co-stars when he was the male lead.

Well in Air America he co-starred with Mel Gibson and the female lead was Nancy Travis. So who did Mel and who did Nancy? What does Robert do when it is a primarily male cast?

In Chaplin, he starred with Geraldine Chaplin so I guess she got a little bit of hat Robert Downey Jr. magic. The fact that she is 20 years older than Robert wouldn't have stopped her because as Robert puts it, "such intimate activity between co-stars is inevitable - because they spend so much together in such a close environment."

In Home For The Holidays, he could have had a reunion with Geraldine Chaplin and also thrown a little Anne Bancroft into the mix since she was the leading lady. I know some of you would say Holly Hunter, but I think Anne Bancroft was higher billed. Hell, knowing Robert, he probably went ahead and just did the whole cast. Had Steve Guttenberg calling him Papi by the end of production.

From this quote, I don't think multiple partners on one movie is too far off. "I remember certain colleagues having a lot of fun on the set with me." Hopefully he is talking about his time on Two Girls And A Guy and not US Marshals. I'm sure his wife loves the thought of knowing that Robert is off having sex with his leading ladies every night while she stays at home and wonders if he will stay sober during filming.

Lindsay Lohan Is Desperate To Get Naked

This story is a couple of days old, but am guessing many of you may not have heard it yet, because frankly, anything to do with Lindsay Lohan and acting you probably just move to the laughing portion of your brain.

It isn't surprising that Lindsay Lohan got another acting role, I mean someone was bound to take a chance on her, plus she's cheap. No, not cheap as in if you pick her up in a bar she will sleep with you cheap, but her acting fee, which is now just $75,000 which is down considerably from the $1M-$1.5M fee she used to command. After agents, managers, lawyers, taxes, and a greedy dad, Lindsay will be basically working for free.

The interesting thing about this role for a movie called Florence is that it requires Lindsay to be topless. Makes sense for the character who is a sex addicted waitress. Not much of a stretch for what appears to be a sex addicted actress. Prior to her Marilyn experience, Lindsay would never strip. Oh sure she would basically show the world what she had everytime she went outside, but she never took it completely off. Now however, because she wants to be taken seriously as an actress she is willing to not just go topless, but has told the producers she will take off all her clothes and even engage in sex scenes. Whatever it takes to show the world she is a serious actress.

Right now Jenna Jameson is reading this and saying to herself, "hey I always took of my clothes and had sex on screen for about the same amount of money. How come no one thought I was a serious actress?"

Nudity does not make you a serious actress. At this point I think it is more about box office. Lindsay knows there will be a bigger box office if she strips and that will lead to more and bigger offers, and lots more money in the future. It has nothing to do with being serious, so she needs to stop pretending it does.

That Sure Is A Lot Of Exclusives

Instead of celebrating whatever blackmail Pete Wentz has over Pimpa Joe to make Pimpa be thrilled that a guy who is just as likely to do a guy as Ashlee, the tabloids instead all worry about who had the exclusive. At least by my count, US Weekly, In Touch, and People are all claiming they had the exclusive about the couple getting married. That doesn't sound so exclusive. The only thing exclusive they did was be the first to the computer after they read the message on the friendsorenemies website.

I'm not sure what kind of exclusive that is. Does anyone really care about exclusives anymore? When I was growing up back in the dark ages before cable, people still read newspapers. I know, it is a foreign word to most of you, but they are these things that you often see on your hotel room doorstep in the morning. They have lots of words, not many photos and tend to get your hands dirty.

An exclusive back in the day meant something. A politician was stealing, the CIA killed someone in some country, the cops were profiting over a crack house. Who the f**k cares if you beat another website by 45 seconds to announce the engagement of a couple that half of the world doesn't even know exist? I really get a kick out of the engagement or wedding announcements that tabs breathlessly exclaim are exclusive and you are asking yourself who the couple is. "Oh, he was on the fourth season of The Real World and she is a waitress in Omaha." Well that surely is breathless worthy.

Do you think that is what sells more magazines or gets more hits to your website? The thing that sells magazines and gets more hits is if one of those tabloids had some exclusive about how Pimpa likes to bottom to Pete. That would sell some magazines and generate some hits to your website. And for damn sure it would be exclusive. And creepy, but that is beside the point.

How about just saying congratulations to Pete and Ashlee and hope it is a boy so you don't have to worry about grandpa being overly affectionate to the child. For the record, it appears that US Weekly announced the engagement first.

I Need Some Of Whatever Robin Wright Penn Is Smoking

How is it that whenever I cheated on any of my six wives I was immediately sent packing, and yet Sean Penn gets caught in the act by his wife while having sex with a pair of Russian hookers and she can't wait to take him back? Somehow she was wrong in this whole thing?

All this is saying to him is hey, I can have sex with anyone I want, even while on vacation with my wife and even when she's staying in the same hotel. This is a license to be single while at the same time still married. Now he doesn't even have to hide it. If she is willing to take him back from that situation, then he may as well just bring them straight to the house, and hell, even straight to the bedroom.

He can just tell Robin to sleep in another room or just tell her to scoot over more on her side of the bed because he just called some hooker from Craigslist over to the house. "Thought I would try me one of those BBW tonight, so going to need some extra room in the bed. I know you don't mind. By the way, you have any extra cash in your purse, I'm not sure I have enough to pay her for what I am going to ask her to do. Oh, and hand me my cigarettes."

NY Daily News Blind Item

Which show keeps its dim-witted if ultra-popular "reality" stars peppy with Adderall supplied by a producer in handfuls between scenes?

Today's Blind Items

I figure since I am always rightfully bashing Scientology, I thought I would share something about the "religion" of another actor. This late 20 something A-/B+ film actor has a little secret that belies his primarily clean cut image. He is a devout follower of Anton LaVey. He has a first edition Satanic Bible which was personally signed by LaVey. Our actor also has the number 9 tattooed on himself to signify the nine rituals of the Satanic Church. He even went so far as to purchase some land where he and other followers use to practice many of these rituals.

Random Photos Part One

Does everyone else get the feeling that Ashton Kutcher is feeling the wrath of Demi Moore for some reason. Oh, that's right. They are married.
Cedric Delsaux is the random French dude of the day.

Can you hear the music playing in the background? Sounds like porn music. Maybe it is all in my head.
I think this is the first time Billy Marquart has been in the photos.
I guess the rumors are true. Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie do have sex.
Petra Nemcova must have taken that Jessica Simpson crotch rubbing lesson. AJ Calloway doesn't really seem to mind.
I almost put Gwyneth Paltrow at the top because she actually looks really good. Still needs to add 20 pounds, but looks good.

More music. This time I keep hearing Sound Of Music.
Although you can't see his eyes, this is indeed Emile Hirsch.
She must be in Danity Kane.
David Beckham gets a ticket.

Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson do their best to look like the Madden brothers.

Another first timer, James Nesbitt.
Any chance that JK Rowling could go bankrupt and then be forced to write another Harry Potter book?
Justin Guarini and Kimberly Caldwell star in the new reality series, "How long can you stay famous for doing absolutely nothing?"
L-R, Leighton Meester, Amber Heard, Katrina Begin and Melonie Diaz. If you had to guess which of these would you think had a serious coke habit?
The original Virna Lisi Esquire cover.

Shar Jackson and Shanu. I know, I know. I thought it said Shamu at first also.
I hope there was some drinking involved before this tattoo sounded like a good idea.
Patrick Stewart getting his photo on the wall at Sardi's.
Nigel Kennedy - London

It's Like A 70's Television Reunion

You know US Weekly runs that feature about stars being like regular folks. Well sometimes yes and sometimes no, but the further down you get on the list, the more and more that no turns into a yes. Take last Saturday for example. During the memorial service for former studio boss and agent Guy McElwaine there was just the teeniest weeniest little disturbance that escalated into something approaching a cat fight. The great thing about it was that it was like watching a Love Boat reunion show.

In one corner you had Christine Peters who was married to producer Jon Peters. In the other corner you had Alana Stewart. Yes, the same Stewart who has previously been married to Rod Stewart and the master of the bronzer himself George Hamilton.

During the actual service. Not before or after, but during the service, Christine Peters walked up to Alana and started laying into her about her son Sean Stewart allegedly stealing the Peters' car last month. Sean allegedly stole the car because he is an idiot and thought that if he took the car that somehow it would make the Peters' daughter Caleigh start talking to him again and they would get back together. I want to remind you that he was thinking this despite being a 26 year old man. He isn't a teenager although Caleigh is.

To make this even better and to give it even more of a 70's flavor we need something else. Well it came. After the two women began yelling at each other (yes, during the service), they had to be separated by Courtney Wagner who was a fellow mourner and is the daughter of 70's icon Robert Wagner.

Wow, I just need Gopher and Julie and I am all set.

Daily Mirror Blind Item

Which hunk of beef was sacked from a top job because he kept running off to have sex with random women when he was supposed to perform? The bad-boy American was unstoppable...

Golden Age Hollywood Gossip

Turns out that Joe DiMaggio wasn't the only New York Yankee to get a larger than life Hollywood actress. According to a new biography about Doris Day, in 1962 a married Mickey Mantle visited the set of the film That Touch Of Mink starring a married Doris Day. He was on the set because he and some of the other Yankees were doing a cameo. Apparently the pair hit it off and had an affair that lasted throughout the filming. Although Mantle was known as a guy who would f**k anyone, anytime and anywhere and even had a private suite he had for just that purpose, apparently he bragged to all his friends not just about having sex with her, but that she was the best f**k he had ever had.

Who knew Doris Day had it in her. Well apparently Mickey did. Doris Day's representatives declined to comment. What? You mean they didn't want to call up the 84 year old and ask her if she had sex with Mickey Mantle and if she was as good as the book and Mickey claims? I actually bet Doris probably would like to comment but her representatives are too scared to ask her and hope that she just doesn't even find out about the book.

I always did think that Doris Day was a hottie. Mickey Mantle, not so much. She could have done better.

Mark Speight Is Missing

The photo above is the last known photo of Mark Speight. Mark Speight is the television host who did nothing while his girlfriend Natasha Collins overdosed on coke. Of course the reason he did nothing was that he was passed out cold from his own coke and tranquilizer binge. This photo was taken at about 226pm. It was taken about an hour after police officers had approached him in the street because he was behaving oddly. They offered to call him an ambulance or a doctor but he just rushed off. Ten minutes before the photo was taken, Mark Speight called Natasha's mother and told him to meet her so they could look at some of Natasha's favorite places. They arranged a place to meet and the train Mark is getting on would have been the correct one to meet her.

He never showed up and nothing has been heard from him since. He did take out a large sum of money from an ATM earlier in the day. My guess is maybe he had a little drug party of his own and either overdosed or is on a huge bender. Presumably something could have happened to him if he flashed a big wad of cash when he was trying to buy drugs, but really it is all speculation. If you want to read all the details, the Daily Mail seems to have the most facts.

Care About Kids? Don't Read This

Yesterday someone sent me a link to some new documents on wikileaks which are seeing the light for the first time. If you have never been to wikileaks.org, you need to go. It is a website, modeled on wikipedia that was set up initially by Chinese dissidents and now is used by whistle blowers all over the world as a place to dump documents that in the past would have never seen the light of day.

Anyway, someone or a group of someones have uploaded a thick stack of new Scientology documents. The goons over at COS tried to sue someone to keep the documents from being posted, and then to be taken down, but have had no luck. Apparently when you spend time in some of the worst prisons in the world, threats from some lawyers in Florida don't seem to work.

I was just going through all the documents last night. They are all written by the L Ron man himself and appear to have been uploaded from someone in the UK or Europe. I just say that because of the title of some of the documents. It doesn't really matter where they came from, but the reason I decided to write about it today is because I could not stop thinking about the kids of Kirstie Alley and Leah Remini and Tom Cruise and the list goes on and on.

I am going to link to all the questions, but will give you a few here.

The document is a processing check to be used on children between the ages of 6-12. According to the COS, "the first question is the most potent."

What has somebody told you not to tell?

Have you ever decided you did not like some member of your family?

Have you ever bullied a small child?

Have you ever been mean or cruel to an animal, bird or fish?

Do you have a secret?

The questions go on and on. Why the hell does someone need to know this stuff from a six year old kid? Tell me the reason. Is this for kids that are new to the cult or is it for all the kids? Is little Suri Cruise going to have to sit in a room 4 years from now and have to answer these questions? Are they going to tell her that no one will ever know the answer and then tell her dad anyway? Why does someone need to know these things? Somehow I don't think the celebrities make their kids do this. Maybe if you give enough money you don't have to. If I sat down a six year old kid and started asking all of these questions, I think child protective services would have a right to be called. How is this any different from abuse?

Next time Kirstie Alley puts her happy ass on the television, think about her kids at the age of 6 having to answer these questions. Think about them being asked over and over until they are 12 when they move on to the adult questions. Because we all know 12 year old kids are adults.

Christina Aguilera Making Sexy Time In Pool

Apparently Christina Aguilera moved into a neighborhood populated by elderly people and they do not appreciate any noise at all after the dinner hour. Incidentally the dinner hour is whatever time they get back from the Denny's early bird special, but think 430 or 5p. Any noise after that is just rude.

Well, apparently Christina and her caveman husband like to put the baby to bed or one of the staff does, or they just set the kid in a lawn chair with a bottle and let him watch Christina and Caveman make sexy time in the pool. Almost every night, Christina and the Caveman head outside to the pool and are not wearing a stitch of clothing. I know, I know, but try not to picture the Caveman who should in no way be confused with Captain Caveman who also seemed to do well with women. Must have been the big stick he was always carrying. This Caveman is also not to be confused with The Caveman who was also a manny to Britney Spears. Whatever happened to that guy by the way? Did he go back to Encino and make cameos in Pauly Shore movies?

Once outside, "They don’t just splash around - they laugh, scream, swear and make sexy noises," a source told The Sun. "We’re happy that they’re happy, but we wish they would keep it down a bit. "There are a lot of old people who live around here, and they don’t like noise after the dinner hour."

Wow. How bored am I today that I am writing about old people complaining to The Sun about the noises Christina Aguilera makes when she has sex. How did The Sun find out? Do they have an LA office that goes around knocking on neighbor's doors asking if they have had any problems with the kids next door? So, it is probably just an elaboration on the interview Christina gave where she said that she and Jordan walk around naked on Sundays. If you are walking around naked on Sundays, then you are probably having sex in the pool on Mondays. It is not too big of a stretch to imagine Jordan screaming like a virgin everytime he gets to have sex with his wife, thus the story. Let me know when one of the neighbors gets a video camera.

Jessica Simpson Takes A Shower

First we had Lindsay Lohan trying to recreate Marilyn Monroe. Now, there is Jessica Simpson trying to recreate the famous Virna Lisi cover from Esquire. It is not that I don't like the cover shot, because I do, I just wish the photographer could have used his imagination instead of trying to just redo an iconic shot. As for the rest of the shoot, it doesn't seem to serve any purpose other than showing us presumably how Jessica showers, but wearing clothes. She tries to create controversy by showing some bare nipple which could have easily been airbrushed out. She knows it is there, and Pimpa knows it is there and Pimpa probably stared at it a good long time before approving it. It is kind of like someone said, "hey, you are not getting enough attention and your career is in the crapper, go out and show some nipple." "Your star has not fallen off the earth quite like Lindsay yet so you don't need to strip. But, if your next album sucks and Tony Romo dumps you, then Playboy it will be. Or porn."

NY Daily News Blind Item

Which divorced celebs, who still share a PR, are driving the poor flack crazy trying to plant mean stories about each other?

Today's Blind Items

You should know by now that I always share. Always. Not always with names attached, but I share. But when did I share? That is the question. Oh, and it isn't a very long story either.

#1 - This world famous supermodel is head over heels in love. Or is she? Maybe she is just pretending to be in love with her new guy so he won't be suspicious when she tells him she is pregnant. Hopefully he won't find out that he isn't the real daddy. Oh, and hopefully the real daddy's B/A- list film actress girlfriend won't find out either. Oh, and I just realized that none of the participants in this little drama are Americans. In fact, I don't think any of the four people are even from the same country.

Random Photos Part One

I thought we would start today with Daniel Craig on the set of the new James Bond film. He may want to watch out for that antenna on the front of the bus. One in a million shot, but don't forget about fusilli Jerry.
Christian de la Fuente is not a bad looking guy.
Remember when everyone thought Aidan Quinn was going to be the next Mickey Rourke. I think Aidan is a great actor, he just can't seem to break through to the next level. (and no, he is not the blind item from yesterday)
Edyta Sliwinska and Alec Mazo are just too damn good looking for their own good.
Is it wrong to be staring at a guy's breasts?
Karina Smirnoff and Mario out and about. The other Mario isn't around though. Is Karina wearing fur?

Jessica Simpson has that whole puppet thing down. She likes being told what to do which is why I guess she has been putting on some great webcam shows for Tony Romo. Do you think he invites people over to watch?
Gwyneth Paltrow was honored yesterday for all the work she does for food relief. Unfortunately she doesn't take her own advice. Eat a burger. It can be veggie, but just eat something.
The great thing about this photo though is there is no closeup of Renee's face. I was going to say something about George, but the only thing I could think of was stereotypical generalizations and I try to stay away from those. Lol.
One of my favorite couples. Edward Burns and Christy Turlington.
The amazing Placido Domingo.

This is the Miss World Australia competition. This is the talent portion of that competition. Most sang or performed an instrument, while some posed with field hockey equipment. What kind of talent did she display? How could she?
Mmmm. True love.
Lukas Haas just gets a little more odd each and everyday.
Does anyone actually watch Kyle XY?

Anthony Rapp does not look like he is aged in 15 years.

Stone Temple Pilots - Hollywood
The lesbian, the "perfect mommy", the easy one and the nude model. Oh, and they made a movie as well.
Put Tobey Maguire on a 3 week bender and add 20 pounds to him and you get Raul Esparza.
Portishead - Amsterdam

Simpsons Bad For Kids - Baywatch Good

I was reading the press release from Televen which is a Venezuelan television station about how they are having to replace The Simpsons from its 11am time slot. Although I did not agree 100% with the decision, I could understand when the release said, "It had to be taken off. They (National Telecommunications Commission) consider it to be a series that isn't appropriate for that time because it isn't appropriate for children," she added.

The spokesperson added that the sitcom contains "messages that go against the whole education of boys, girls and adolescents."

Not much of a story and I really didn't have much to say and was going to ignore the whole thing, until I kept reading.

Turns out the show has been replaced by Baywatch Hawaii. Ahh yes, the show that is much more appropriate for children. If The Simpsons goes against the whole education of boys, girls, and adolescents than I would hate to see what kind of educational system they are running in Venezuela when the messages in Baywatch Hawaii are deemed an approved supplement to the education of kids.

What I really think is the reasoning is that the men who run the watchdog organization like to monitor the comings and goings of half naked Carmen Electra and Pamela Anderson as part of their job and laugh to themselves that they are getting paid to do so. Of course it could be something as simple as Hugo Chavez loving the way The Hoff looks in a bathing suit.

No complaints have been received from the public. I'm guessing that it is because the guys are too busy doing other things with their hands instead of dialing a phone.

Daily Mirror Blind Item

Which supposedly straight actress, who plays a lesbian on TV, is well-known among co-stars for her rather enthusiastic acting during steamy on-screen love scenes?

Ryan Seacrest Wants You To Know He Cares

Did you know Ryan Seacrest gave away his American Idol paycheck from this week to show he cares about charity? Yes, no one heard about it, so Ryan arranged for a "source" to leak it to People (who else) and the "source" even had an official sounding statement.

“When he and Simon went to Africa last year and saw the children, it was really life-altering for him,” says the source. “He just knew he had to do his part and be willing to put his money where his mouth is.”

Oh, and he also wanted you to know that he was doing it. Just couldn't go quietly into that good night. Hey, and Ryan if you are so concerned about charity, why are you just giving one weekly check from your second lowest paying job? Give away something more and this time don't let us know about it. Just do it for selfless reasons, and not for attention.

Oh, and get the whore to give away her Bentley while you are at it. She bought it with the money your production company is paying her, so why not tell her to sell it, and donate the money to a worthy cause. She can go out and get one of those Toyota Prius' you are always yammering about on the radio. Or, honestly a little walking would do her good. Have you seen her ass lately?

Tom Cruise's German Is Like Watching Hogan's Heroes

Dear Tom,

Sorry to hear about the Valkyrie release date being moved again. Wasn't the original plan to have it released two months after filming completed? Yeah, that's what I remember also. I remember you and the family in Germany all last year. While you just kept film, film, filming away, you sent your publicity machine, aka, wife and kid off to the far reaches of Europe to keep reminding everyone in the world that you were filming a movie called Valkyrie.

The thing is your plan worked great. Everyone knows about Valkyrie. Everyone wants to see it. OK, that's not true. I don't want to see it. I guess the thing is that the studio has figured out no one wants to see it including them. It was originally set to release on June 27, 2008 which is a big weekend and just two short months from now. That date was moved to October 2008. This allowed for some reshooting. I know, I know. You have said they were days you were supposed to shoot. I say they were reshoots because something sucked. Kind of like tomato and tahmato. Except that I heard your German accent would have got you kicked off Hogan's Heroes.

So, now the release date has been moved again. This time to February 13, 2009. Yes, a Friday the 13th where you will go against Isla Fisher in that shopping movie she is making and a Friday The 13th film.

The studio is calling it a big holiday weekend they just had to jump on. Excuse me, you were originally set for the weekend before the 4th of July. How much bigger a holiday weekend can you get? Oh, sure, President's Day weekend is big with Sears and car dealers, but it has never been much of a holiday weekend.

You know, there is always the direct to DVD route. No one would probably even notice. Hell, if you want Jessica Simpson can get you into a few theatres in Texas. You can take Suri and she can see dad on the big screen. She doesn't have to know there were only 3 screens instead of 3,000.

How about a MI4?

I was going to show a photo of you in that German costume you probably still wear around the house, but instead I posted my favorite photo from the entire time you were filming. Hope you agree.

He's Finally Going To Jail

I think that it is really funny that when Pete Doherty is finally not in the news everyday is when he finally gets sentenced to some jail time. Apparently Pete was not living up to the terms of his probation and was sent to the clink for 14 weeks. The pig in grease was finally caught.

According to a court spokesperson, Pete was locked up for 'his breach of time keeping, non compliance of his order and using different drugs'. So, it means Pete has been using drugs while on probation, but because he isn't dating Kate Moss, he just is not in our face everyday. Maybe it wasn't Pete's man whore past that was keeping him out of jail, but some kind of obsession from the judges that if they kept Pete out of jail that Kate Moss would take it as a personal favor and give them some sweet loving. Unfortunately once Kate Moss loved Pete Doherty even once, I doubt there is anything sweet remaining about Kate's loving.

I would normally say something like I hope the 14 weeks in jail will help Pete to get clean, but I think we have all seen from Blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaake that drugs are readily available in prison.

Pete's record company was certainly concerned about his physical well being and really hoped he would be able to kick the drug habit soon. Here is the entirety of their statement.

Peter has had to postpone his show at the Royal Albert Hall on April 26th. 'The show is due to be rescheduled and all tickets will be valid for the new date once it has been announced. 'Peter was very much looking forward to the show and would like to offer his sincerest apologies to all his fans and to all those concerned.'

You would think they could at least pretend to be concerned about his health. But honestly, they don't care at all. As long as he is alive and can play, they just don't care. Actually even if he died, they would make money off as money recordings as they could.

Randy Jones Is At It Again

My favorite Village Person is at it again. The man who gave us Paris Hilton's parents on their knees sucking up coke from the floor of a club is writing a book. Notice that no one has been sued since that story came from his lips several months ago. According to Gatecrasher, Randy Jones has lots of tales to tell, and is definitely not afraid to name names. I'm just glad Randy got them all down in print before he gave them all away. He is a natural story teller and if you sit down with him for five minutes, or five hours you leave enthralled. The Village People were huge. Combine that with being popular in the late 1970's and early 1980's when Studio 54 was at its heydey and you can see why Randy Jones has lots and lots of good stories.

Unfortunately one story won't be making it into print, at least with the name of Tom Cruise attached. It seems that Tom's lawyers got wind of an alleged 1982 encounter with Tom that Randy was going to put into his book. I'm sure they were afraid that the very openly gay Randy Jones would somehow ruin the pristine heterosexual reputation of Mr. Cruise and thus, any mention of Tom Cruise meeting Randy was removed from the final print of the book. It is amazing how fast a team of lawyers can scare a publishing firm.

But thanks to traditions going back before the written word or lawyers, I know the story. Randy tells it really well. Apparently Ben Widdicombe of the NY Daily News knows the story now. I know about 20 people personally who have heard the story. What to do with such a wonderful story?

Oh, and the book is called Macho Man. Definitely going to be worth a read.

Everybody Hates Rob

So when I first read that Rob Lowe was going on the offensive against a nanny that he claims is extorting him, I thought it was a good idea. Doesn't mean that I believe Rob, but it is a good idea. Now though, it seems that Rob Lowe has filed lawsuits against three different employees for various offenses. So, apparently every employee Rob Lowe hires is some kind of sex maniac while he alone is pure of heart.

I understand the offensive against the nanny. The other two employees though were not trying to extort him so what was the reason for the suit? How about to scare the crap out of some people who probably make $10 an hour and then give them some money so they go quietly away.

One of the employees Rob is suing is a former chef. He is suing him because the chef allegedly had sex in Rob's bed with 3rd parties, stole prescription drugs and charged too much for food. Those are firing offenses, but lawsuits? Nope, someone is trying to hide something here, or trying to get someone to shut up. The suit also accuses the chef of distributing all the drugs to his friends. Just how many prescription drugs did the Lowe's have in their house?

All of the lawsuits mention that all the employees being sued really disliked Mrs. Lowe. The words Rob used in the lawsuit to describe what others had said about his wife are "abusive, overly demanding, abusive, racist, heartless, cold, and unclean."

Of course all of that could have been Rob just trying to get some things off his chest. You know, sitting in the attorney's office. "Hmmm. I think they called her a b**tch. Definitely cold and abusive. Frigid." Then he goes home and says he is sorry they called her all those awful things. She then asks what they called her and so he gets to actually say them to his wife without fear. Very liberating feeling. Did anyone bother asking how Rob found out that all of his employees did these things and said these things?

This story is not going away. I'm guessing Rob didn't get any of his employees to sign confidentiality agreements so he has had to go the lawsuit way to get them to shut up. This is going to be so good. You can't have this many disgruntled employees, this much sex and drugs and so many men and women running around without having a great, great story.

Don't look at that photo of Sheryl Lowe too long. She does look mean as hell. She knows it probably is just a matter of time before Rob turns her in for a new model, and so I am sure she is a pleasure and a joy to be around with people she thinks are gunning to be the new Mrs. Lowe.

NY Daily News Blind Item

Which married modelizer likes to spread the love when he's away from home? Apparently, he thinks Sydney is far enough away that his famous Mrs. won't find out.

Today's Blind Items

Normally I would probably skip this one because of who it is, but what happened just deserves to be told because I definitely have not seen it happen before at such a public event. This guy is a C lister. He is an incredible actor and you would know his face, but probably not his name. Plays and films are what he does the most. He has been in some of the biggest films around. He is a guy that will one day get just that perfect role and get a supporting actor nod from Oscar. He is that good. He started acting when he was a kid and is in one of my favorite films of all time. Well, at an event this weekend, he took using drugs to a whole new extreme. There was no furtive coke use or smoking a joint out back. Nope, this guy did meth and lots of it. In the bathroom, outside during breaks in the event. Didn't care who saw him, didn't care where he did it. Carried the damn pipe in his hand when he wasn't using it. The thing is no one stopped him. No one turned him in, and by the end of the evening the guy was wired out of his mind. Crazy, crazy, crazy and then, just like that he was gone. He had been loud and obnoxious and crazy for so long, and then everyone realized the noise level had dropped and he was gone. No one even saw him leave.

Random Photos Part One

Fair warning. Towards the bottom of the photos is a photo of some bare ass. There is also a photo of Fergie. Luckily the bare ass and Fergie are not in the same photo.






Whatever you may have thought of Charlton Heston, I find it awe inspiring that he was married to the same woman for 64 years and he was an incredible actor. RIP.
I swear this is the same exact outfit down to the hat that Brad Pitt was wearing when he and Angelina and one of the 18 kids went out for beef jerky. Someone buy him some clothes before he starts cutting and wearing ballet slippers.
The lovely Anne Murray.
The always incredible Annie Lennox.
I don't know whether I should be happy that Geri Halliwell got rid of the big burly trainer, or sad that she didn't choose me. I do know that these dancer/singer relationships don't last.

Congratulations to Feist and her haul at the Juno Awards.
The Spade brothers. David and Fergie.
In 1984, Diane Sawyer got a Matrix award for journalism. The ceremony for this year was held today. You will notice behind Ms. Kneepads that the main sponsor for this journalism award is People. Nice.
So did Danny Michael bring the bike over in a big SUV or did he really ride it to the event?
The greatest.

Kelly Choi looks incredible.
So does John Legend. Does anyone look ugly today?
Hello. Do you know how skinny James Denton is to make Teri Hatcher look fat?
I love Heart and you know they must have cringed everytime one of those Idol kids sang their songs.

Sheila E. is wow.

The hilarious Russell Peters.
Paula Abdul actually looked nice. There I said it. I doubt I will ever say it again, and I am still looking forward to her Today show appearance.
Even Miley Cyrus looks good.
One of my favorite photos of the day. Michael Buble after getting his Juno.

You know, I'm guessing Woody Harrelson might have scraped something that doesn't feel good when it is scraped.

I need to find uglier people when I think that Whitney Houston looks great. Even Kevin Costner has looked worse.
I can't even begin to tell you how much this photo of Victoria Beckham disturbs me, and how much I believe she probably has done this before. Recently.
Tamyra Gray channeling that inner Grace Jones.
Sinbad just channeling. Not sure what.

What Do You Think?

According to the NY Daily News, porn star and former California gubernatorial candidate Mary Carey was out and about in New York last night and was seen drinking a glass of wine. A waiter recognized her from Celebrity Rehab and promptly cut her off from any further wine drinking at the restaurant. Mary for her part said she is not drinking to excess and even bragged about being 37 days sober before drinking the wine.

Part of me says yay to the server who cut her off. She was probably embarrassed and humiliated and it may stop her from drinking in public and in private. But another part of me says that as long as she is only hurting herself it really is none of our business or the business of an establishment whether someone has a drink or not. Somehow I bet she was not the only one in the place that night who was drinking and had been to rehab, so just because she has been on a rehab show she gets banned, while everyone else gets to drink. When you check out of rehab should they give you a big red A that identifies you as an alcoholic and thus should not be served?

I want to make it clear that I think every place that serves booze needs to cut people off if they have had too much to drink and should also take away car keys if they insist on trying to leave. However, I'm not sure that anyone has the right to tell someone what they can or cannot put into their bodies, no matter how much they think they are just wanting to help.

Addicts need to help themselves, not to have others do it for them.

Daily Mirror Blind Item

Which married Olympian got down and dirty with a dancer in the toilets of a tacky nightclub... while his wife was ordering him a drink at the bar?

Jennifer Lopez Does Something Brilliant

Look, am the first to admit that after marrying Marc Anthony I didn't think Jennifer Lopez was smarter than a first grader, let alone manage to ever be able to outwit Tom Cruise, but she has. According to reports Jennifer has convinced Skeletor to let Tom Cruise be the godfather to the twins she gave birth to sometime last month. I don't remember the date, but neither does she so we are even.

Notice first of all that the reports are that Tom is going to be named godfather, and not Katie and Tom are going to be godparents. That show you where that relationship is headed? So, what exactly does Jennifer Lopez get out of this? Well she gets a bunch of publicity which should keep her in the public eye longer than it should for a spiraling downward career. It will end up getting her a bunch of cash and prizes from whatever COS people are invited to the big christening or auditing or whatever is going to be done to the twins.

Plus, the good news is she will never have to see Tom Cruise again. Of course he will call their house everyday to remind them their dues need to be paid, but he will never see them again because they have kids. Tom doesn't like kids. He tolerates them and uses them, but his history suggests that the twins will not be seeing much of Uncle Tom in the upcoming years. Oh, for the first couple of birthdays he will show up and give them something useless and expensive that Jennifer will sell on e-bay, but for the most part he will never be back.

When he wants to go out with Jennifer and Marc they can say they need to stay in with the twins. It makes them look good for staying in and you know Tom won't want to go out with kids. The only way her plan backfires is if she doesn't pay something to her COS dues because otherwise one night the brakes go out on the Skeletor Mobile and suddenly Tom is rushing in to try and get the kids and add them to his growing new generation. I can just see Tom in his dungeon, sketching out possible family trees and who will rise to the top.

Nice one Jen. Now just get rid of Skeletor and try and save Katie all before the end of the movie. I know you can do it. You were a Fly Girl.

I Want My $2.00

Dear Crest,

Instead of just calling your toll free comment line and speaking to someone who doesn't understand what I am saying and probably won't even do anything about it, I thought I would instead use the opportunity to address the 100,000 daily readers of this blog and make you sweat a little.

You should know that my blog is a gossip blog so right now they are a bit pissed at me because I threw up a headline that suggests they are going to get a great Better Off Dead reference or that John Cusack is going to turn up naked on FFF. As long as it is not Ricky.

Anyway, this morning I had the opportunity to try your toothpaste Pro Health Mint. I must say that it was quite possibly the worst taste experience I have had in my life. Four hours later and I just cannot get that horrible taste out of my mouth. This by the way is coming from a guy who has and will eat any possible food combination and pronounce it lovely. This coming from a guy who actually thinks Buckley's cough syrup isn't half bad.

As I was rinsing my mouth out with Hershey bars this morning in an attempt to remove the hideous taste of your product from my mouth, I was wondering to myself what kind of people you have working at your research lab who said this product was incredible. I was also wondering where on earth you managed to find consumers who gave you positive feedback on the product. Did you pay them? Were they all relatives of the guy who designed the flavor and thus had a vested interest in keeping Jim Bob on the job in this bad economy. Was it a favor to Mrs. Crest or a payoff to keep the nanny quiet about the sex tape, or did someone lose a bet to Colgate or the boys over at AquaFresh.

Whatever the reason, I implore you to please stop producing this product and to destroy whatever cases you have of the product so no 3rd world child gets sent a tube from some charity. You may if you wish leave out two cases. One to use as paint thinner and the other to send to Denise Richards c/o of E!. They are on Wilshire Boulevard. 5700 block or somewhere close. I'm not sure Denise would love it, but if you sent her a case she would probably use some and I want her to feel the same pain I am feeling now.

You can keep the $2 I spent on your product. That is probably your monthly budget for your entire customer call center.

Sincerely,

EL

P.S. Thanks for removing the Satan logo off your products or I would have been too scared to complain to you.

P.P.S. Did you hear that three episodes from now in The Hills, Spencer is going to stop talking to his sister and tell everyone who listens which are only people he pays to listen, that he doesn't have a sister anymore. Oh, and that some of the cast have Whitney dartboards and throw darts at her face.

David Tennant Is Available Again

Thanks to the magic of Full Frontal Friday you already got a glimpse of what David Tennant would bring to a relationship. Now is the time for you to grab it in person should you wish. Turns out that he and Bethan Britton have called it quits after just four months.

Bethan was ticked off because David did not give her enough attention. He said it was because of work, but really I think we all know the real reason. No, it isn't because she isn't good in bed. They wouldn't have lasted four months if she wasn't good in bed. No, the real reason is she was a rebound. You never want to be the rebound.

David had just broken up with Sophia Myles who is on Thunderbirds in October and like two days later he is already in bed with Bethan. She should have known better. You don't go from a two year relationship to another one two days later and have it stick. Oh, yes, I am sure there are people for which it has worked, but generally speaking it doesn't. When you see a guy who starts dating a woman right after his ten year marriage ends, and for some reason the new relationship lasts, it is either because it started while the marriage was still going on, or it is because the guy is dating way over his head and so gives everything he has to make it work and ends up being used by the woman. Could go the other way also, but I only have the guy perspective on that.

So, if you want to take your shot at David, now would be the time. Quick. Before he starts dating some WAG castoff.

All Of Us Would Be In Jail Or Guantanamo

Next time you get on an international flight, think about what would happen if you started screaming and yelling at the crew members on the plane. I mean really letting them have it. Then, after the police arrive, really reach back deep into your lungs and throat and whip out the biggest glob of spit you can and hit a policeman with it.

Now, after being tasered and subjected to a full body cavity search, what do you think would happen to you? Honestly, you would probably get about six months if you were arrested in the UK, and probably spend about a year in a secret prison if you are were arrested in the US.

So, when Naomi Campbell was told she would be getting off with just a warning for her actions last week she should have been grateful right? Not Naomi. She says she was only arrested because she is black. That's right. Everyone in the world who is white is free to scream and yell at flight crew and just spit with impunity on police officers. Right now, I am just thinking about lunch time and how many of LA's finest I can find so I can spit on them. Security guards, sheriff deputies. Anyone is fair game. I can taunt them after I spit at them, knowing that the words of Naomi Campbell will protect me.

I always thought Naomi Campbell was a beautiful woman with an anger management problem. I didn't realize that she was also an idiot. Her position is so out there that Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson are just pretending they don't hear her. Does she really think that she only got arrested because she is black?

I will say that the only reason she is getting off with a warning is that she is a celebrity. There is no way that any of us would ever get off with just a warning. Think I am wrong? Go take a look at some of the sentences handed down to people who have only used words on a plane and not actually done anything physical. I honestly cannot believe she would say that, or even think that.

I think that in the past I have been pretty fair to Naomi and have said nice things despite her love and affection for flying cellphones. That changes. No more nice things to say ever until she comes out and apologizes for saying what she said. An admission that she is getting off with a warning because she is a celebrity would be nice as well, but I will start with an apology directed to everyone in the world she offended with that statement.

Johnny Depp Has An 8 Foot Wingspan

I know that you love Johnny Depp and you know that I know you love Johnny Depp, and it is by far the only reason I am posting this. According to News Of The World, Johnny Depp singlehandedly saved the live of six extras on the set of his new film.

A stunt driver lost control of a 1933 Ford after hitting a patch of ice while filming Michael Mann's Public Enemies. Depp jumped into the vehicle's path when he spotted it skidding towards the extras, who were standing with their backs turned.

A witness told the News of the World: "Johnny slammed into the group with arms outspread, shoving them all back."

At that point, the witness (publicist) had nothing more to say. However, if the witness had gone on, or been "interviewed" by People Magazine, I think this is how it would have gone.

There are not many men on earth, let alone a 44 year old actor who could physically do that. I'm guessing that as he approached the group of six, his wingspan increased from its usual six feet to about 8 or 9. In the background, theme music from the Six Million Dollar Man began playing. Amazingly everything turned to slow motion, and Johnny flew through the air, placing his arms around the entire group, while at the same time, lighting a cigarette and bursting into a song from Sweeney Todd.

Immediately after he saved the group of six, Johnny's co-stars Christian Bale and Billy Crudup broke down in tears and claimed they were not men enough to do what Johnny had done.

Johnny checked on the group and then called his long time love Vanessa Paradis because he calls her every hour on the hour and because of the adventure had missed their call by 30 seconds. He also checked on their child, and told Vanessa that he would be late getting home because he was going to give blood and then go stand on a street corner until he sold 100 of her albums.

NY Daily News Blind Item

Which Disney youth act's gay stylist had the suits in a dither because he insisted on dressing the boys in the tightest possible clothes? The execs had to back down when the “beyond metrosexual” look was a smash with their target 'tween audience.