Friday, May 09, 2008

Four For Friday - Mother's Day Edition

This week, all the answers are mothers. Some are from AP, and there is also a jackass. I know all of you miss AP, but she's been working a bunch so it's a good thing. Still have that Martha Stewart photo in my head I guess.



#1 - This B+ film actress is married and as the first sentence suggests, is also a mother. Movies. Been in a bunch. Everyone knows her. Just not quite A list. She is also a jackass, or just has no manners. Picture this. It's a party and our actress is talking to someone and they are in the middle of a very important conversation when she spots someone who is more important. She grabs that person and starts talking to them leaving the other person standing there in mid sentence. But wait, it gets better. As our actress is involved in the second conversation, a third person even more important walks by and she grabs his arm and starts talking to her, leaving both the first and second person standing there. She turns her back to them and takes the other guy by the arm and walks away from the first two.


#2 - When it's AP, it can only mean the bathroom. Guys bathrooms aren't like this unless Russell Brand is in there. Oh sure, I mean there is usually a coke party, but that is kind of normal. Anyway, this former teen actress who has not worked as much the past few years is in the bathroom and is crying with a friend of hers. Seems she is crying because her husband and father to her child(ren) invited the woman he had been having an affair with to the event in which is he also brought his wife. She had not wanted to get divorced and so had agreed to an open marriage, but didn't agree to it being thrown into her face.


#3 - Do stepmoms count? I hope so because this wife of an A list film star has been sleeping with her stepson.


#4 - Also from AP, but not in a bathroom. Nope, this one actually took place in a kitchen at a dinner party. This wife and mother who is also happens to be a C list aging actress with B+ name recognition was having an argument with her A-/B+ list husband. They started out alone in the kitchen but as the yelling and screaming got out of control, several guests went inside the kitchen to see if they could help. Our actress had a knife in her hands. No, not a great big cutting knife, just a little paring knife, but she had managed to cut her husband in the hand enough where there was blood doing a nice job of staining the floors. When she saw everyone standing there, she dropped the knife, went upstairs, and composed herself. Her husband followed a short time later and they came back down and acted as if nothing had happened.

Random Photos Part One - With A Reader Photo

Quite possibly the photo of the year so far. Fred Armisen just cracks me up and the look on his face when he realizes it is Rupert Murdoch and his unsmiling wife next to him is priceless.

The lovely Angelica Huston.
Amy Poehler and pregnancy go very well together. When people say someone is glowing when they are pregnant, this is what they are talking about.
Alan Ruck. I do love Alan Ruck. I love how Michael J. Fox made everyone wear name tags.
CaCee Cobb and Donald Faison have been going out for what seems like forever.
Kelly Rowland - London

Wow. 70's flashback. James Taylor and Jimmy Buffett. Margaritas on me everyone. Need that three day drunk to deal with Mother's Day and all that therapy I can't afford.
So, who is the person who invited Ethan Hawke to the Time 100 Most Influential People?
And how come David Beckham wasn't there?
Crystal Castles - London
There was a time about three years ago when you could not turn on your television without seeing Martha Stewart. She's had a rough year and I'm glad to see her seemingly doing well.

Besides Zach Braff looking like a guy who just escaped into the light after a year, everyone else looks good. From L to R. Zach, Michael J. Fox, Tracy Pollan and Sarah Chalke.
Wow, Mr. and Mrs. Carey are already matching. I'm just waiting for the t-shirts with their photos on them.
Best I've seen Luke Perry look in a very long time.
This hardly seems fair. Luis Miguel is great looking, dresses well and sings great. I'm depressed now.
All of you should be thanking me that I used the shot of Teri Hatcher from a long way away. You really don't want the up close shot. Believe me.


So, you talked me into it.
It's the Downey's.
As you all know, I don't hold a grudge. Well, I do actually, but Penelope Cruz looks nice here. Now back to the grudge.
Hey it's the Naked Brothers. They are kind of like The Monkees to the Jonas Brothers' Beatles. I like how they are already making moves on an older girl. The problem is she's Coco Sumner, so I'm guessing better rock stars have already hit on her. How old is she anyway? I'm guessing 14 without looking, but someone is going to tell me she is 20.
ZZ Top & Jessica Simpson - Camp Pendleton


Zhang Ziyi looks great as always. Vivi Nevo might just want to give up and shave it all off because the placing of each strand of hair in position isn't working.
Whitney Houston - London
Tyler Perry definitely is an influential person. He's a genius actually. And rich.
Another reader photo. Have at it.

Your Turn

In this week's edition I'm contributing one of my favorite Muppet Mother's Day videos of all time. This week, plug anything, but you can also give a shout out to your mother, share some story about your mother, or just someone you feel is a mother f**ker. Really, it is all about the mothers.

How Do You Remember The Names

I know this video has been floating around the internet today, but I am still in shock that someone would be willing to have 18 kids in the age of birth control. It looks to me like all the kids are happy and healthy and seem remarkably well put together despite having what will be 17 brothers and sisters once this 18th child is born. The thing is, the mother Michelle Duggar says this child won't be the last. Well, all I have to say is she must clean up on Mother's Day.

Lindsay's Rep Backs Down A Little


As more and more people come out and talk about stuff Lindsay Lohan stole, her reps are starting to back off just a little. Yesterday, Lauren Hastings put herself back into the spotlight by talking about how Lindsay had stolen a closet worth of clothes while Lindsay was supposed to be protecting the house. In an interview with buzznet, Lauren reiterated the claims she had made to the District Attorney at the time of the incident.

"Basically, I have two closets, a lot of the stuff was missing out of one and the next closet was almost completely empty,"

"They all said they saw Lindsay Lohan basically in my closet, handing a bag of clothes to her bodyguard."

Now all of this happened while Lindsay was supposed to be house sitting and alone. Instead she had a party and stole all the clothes. And that isn't all. There will be lots and lots more coming out in the next few weeks.

In response to the Lauren Hastings comments, Lindsay's people were asked to comment and they said, "This is all not true. It's not what it seems." I love that quote. It's not all true. Well that means probably 99% is true and that maybe Lindsay took stuff from both closets and not just one. It isn't what it seems? That is great. I guess Lindsay was concerned about the clothes getting damaged during the party she wasn't supposed to be having so was probably taking them home for safekeeping. And why on earth do you need a bodyguard hovering over you if you are at a house you are staying at. I doubt that Lindsay is going to be the target of home invasion. House arrest maybe, but not home invasion.

Thanks Natalie


I'm way too lazy to look it up, but a few months ago I wrote a post about Wuthering Heights and how the UK was all in a tizzy because the producers were going to cast American actors. Well, they did cast Natalie Portman and she then proceeded to give them a list of demands which they met, and then after that she said she wasn't interested and backed out of the project.

Thanks a bunch Natalie. You basically have ruined it for everyone now. Instead of doing what you were supposed to be doing, you are probably back in New York hanging out with that tool of a boyfriend of yours who walks around with a c**k as his glasses. Yes, it's true, and odd that her boyfriend and another guy went sex toy shopping together. I don't know about the rest of you but when I go sex toy shopping I don't usually take along another guy.

Meanwhile because she told everyone she was going to do the part, Sienna Miller and Keira Knightley both have committed to other projects. Here is my advice to the producers. As I mentioned in my previous post there have been about 100 different Wuthering Heights projects. What I suggest is you go the Airplane! or Scary Movie route and just make it a spoof on all the other period pieces. Sure, no one will get your references, but throw in some nudity and some fart jokes and you will probably get more ticket sales than the way you are going now. I mean the only people who are going to see it are, well, honestly, no one. How did you get financing for this thing anyway?

Lainey Blind Item

I love how often the self righteous, artistic ones are always end up being the douchiest and the perviest.

The backstory:

Several years ago, while dating a high profile, fiery actress, he was on location shooting a movie and found himself one night at a local bar. A young hot thing approached, they flirted, they made the call, and pretty soon she was telling her friends she was heading home with the star, protected by both his bodyguards and a personal driver.

So they get back to his place, start making out, she services him with her mouth, and tries to get him to return the favour, at which point he balks and then, no longer blinded by arousal, finally gets around to asking her:

"Are you really 19?"

Well of course she wasn’t 19. She was actually only 16. And when her guilty face confirmed it for him, he quickly called her a cab and sent her home, not offering to pay for her cab. He did however offer to pay for the silence.

His security detail and the chauffeur, all of whom were witnesses to his tryst with the teen, were compensated handsomely for their discretion. They were so trustworthy that he wanted to use their services again when he returned to town for a new project recently. Unfortunately the same team wasn’t entirely intact.

So instead, now single, he went to great lengths to secure a very capable staff to make sure he didn’t find himself in the kind of icky underage situation as last time. Was like having a personal assistant for the express purpose of getting him head and occasionally laid. Only he was strict about wanting it from “real” girls and not from professionals. Every few days or so, his people had to scour the city looking a girl he could spend a short time with. They’d all start off at a group dinner, and by the end of the night, he’d end up sated at place. A few girls were lucky enough for repeats but effort on his part was never forthcoming.

Still… at the very least… he kept it legal.

Jessica Alba Working Hard For Her Baby Daddy

A month or so ago, I told you about Jessica Alba helping out her baby daddy Cash by starring in the videos for his new site. Well, apparently that must have worked out really well because now Jessica is in the staring contest and in what seems really unfair, in a contest for who has a photo with the biggest star. I think she kind of sold herself short by posting a photo of her standing next to Ben Kingsley. I still think adrian and her photo of Bono could win that thing.

Anyway, I did discover a whole new talent for Jessica. She actually is pretty good at this staring without blinking thing. Seven minutes without blinking while staring right into a camera. Oh, wait, that's her job. If the video below doesn't start, then click here.


Lauren Conrad Isn't A Very Good Friend


Lets say you go out to a bar with someone who is struggling with sobriety. Do you say to that person, "hey, lets drink some tequila shots?" I would hope not, but apparently Lauren Conrad had no problems doing just that with Lindsay Lohan. According to the NY Daily News, both Lindsay and Lauren were seen together knocking back shots of tequila at the Crown Lounge. Lindsay being sneaky, turned her back each time so no one could see. Of course, being the idiot she is, she failed to notice the big plate glass window reflecting her image to the rest of the bar. Even if it was Lindsay's idea and it probably was, what kind of person are you that you are encouraging it by knocking back shots with her. If you don't want to, you can just say you are about to leave. Don't give the person a drinking partner or an excuse to drink.

Now word comes that Lindsay has been dropped from her supporting role in Manson Girls. Maybe she should quit the drinking and partying so she could actually get and keep some work. Either that or she and her dad could start doing one night father daughter shows in casinos around the country. That would actually be kind of fun to see. Would be a train wreck, but fun. Watching Michael strutting around some Indian casino in the middle of Nebraska at the end of the show would even be better. Bet he would make people kiss his ring.

Let's Count The Cruise Stories


Someone is whipping up the Tom Cruise PR team because there is just story after story about him this week. After Monday's Oprah where the world celebrated the 25th anniversary of a high school student having sex with a hooker, the stores just won't stop.

The only actual "news" story was the fact that Paramount didn't have any objection to Tom Cruise starring in MI4. The only interesting thing about that story is that it came out last week before the Oprah interview, but hardly anyone noticed. So, what to do? Someone went back to Paramount and asked the same question again, and then in the wave following Oprah got it printed everywhere.

The Met Costume Gala was legitimate, except for the apparent 4 inches of height Tom gained in one day.

Then, later this week, we had Tom Cruise backstage at Hairspray fawning over the cast and probably hoping they would let him get out there and sing some songs and dress like a woman. He and Katie dragged along Suri and claimed it was her favorite video. She's 2. Any video will be her favorite video.

Kelly Preston came out and said that Tom Cruise was a pro when it came to the sex scenes in Jerry Maguire. Really knew what he was doing. Makes it sound like he's a real ladies man. Now where do Kelly and Tom know each other? Oh yeah.

In celebration of the 25th anniversary of a high school kid throwing a party at his parent's house, Tom started his very own website. I am too scared to actually go on the site for fear winding up on a CO$ website somewhere being bombarded with questions about my crimes.

Kind of hard to believe Tom never had a website before this week.
And then finally, today comes the topper. The Tom and Katie are trying to have another baby stories are coming out. These are the favorite of the Cruise publicity machine because it shows that Tom must be meeting Katie in her bedroom or having her come down to his and that he is trying his hardest to get her knocked up. Please.

So, with all this publicity for one man, you would think he had a movie coming out. Ummm. Nope. Book? Ummm. Nope. Record? God I hope not. Garage Sale? Ummm. Maybe.

That is the crazy thing about all this is there is nothing for him to promote except himself and trying to restore his reputation. I wonder if it's working. With me it isn't, but the rest of the world might be buying it.

Daily Mirror Blind Item

Which precocious teen keeps telling her famous parents she's never tried drugs? Yet she has a £150-a-week coke habit...

Thursday, May 08, 2008

When Rihanna Takes A Naked Cell Phone Picture She Goes All Out







Today's Blind Items

#1 - This A list film actor. I was thinking about it, but he definitely has opened movies on his own. Action though. That is kind of like women opening a horror film and being called A list. Oh, well, everyone knows him, and when I say know him, you know him. You know, (points eyes)down there. Well seems that our actor is a very generous sort to women on the street who he is attracted to. When he meets someone he likes and likes a great deal, he gives them his card. On the back of the card is a 1-800 number to a credit card concierge with a note that says, "buy something as beautiful and exotic as you... my treat xoxo". There is a pre-set spending limit on the gift.

#2 - What cast of a hit television show that is changing coasts is sitting in front of their computers right now reading this blind item? At least one of you has been a blind item, and one of you is permanently safe.

Random Photos Part One

In what used to be a regular sight, but is now limited to once every 120 days is the fabulous Lauren Graham and the soon to be 30 and looks 20, Ginnifer Goodwin.
The amazing Andrea Bocelli.
It's a Lohan. Ali Lohan to be exact as well as Taylor Swift. Neither looks particularly thrilled at this coupling, but Taylor looks gorgeous.
Not a big fan of Eva Amurri, but she does look really good here.

So are all of you happy that Clive Owen has made an appearance?
What about twice? Do you need more?
Tilda Swinton and Ben Barnes. Ben just looks thrilled, and Tilda seems to have a little smirk going on. Interesting.
Alexa Ray Joel & Billy Joel - New York
I like Julia Roberts but you could take this "serious" pose and put it in any of her films. It never changes.


Jason Lewis. Nothing to say really. Just knew you would like him.
It just kind of seems appropriate to have Harry Dean Stanton posing while lighting a cigarette. I mean do any of you think he would look cool sipping on Vitamin Water or something. I'm actually disappointed that the cigarettes are filtered.
The new and curvier Hilary Duff and Katharine McPhee. You know the scene in Better Off Dead where they are at the school dance and the band is playing. The lead singer of that group looks exactly the same as Hilary Duff here, except not as blond. That expression on Katharine McPhee's face is priceless. You know I like her so when I say that she looks vacant, I say it out of love.
That's got to hurt.

Did you hear Ashton Kutcher say he wanted to make a movie version of Punk'd? You know something with a bigger budget and more over the top.


So does this high waisted thing mean I can bring out my Sansabelt slacks also? I miss them.
Madonna on a world tour. Sticky and sweet seems kind of appropriate. Could have called it making out with a strange woman in each city tour, but couldn't get it all to fit on the poster.
The having fun photo of the day goes to Lake Bell.
I really do love Kellie Pickler. Wow, for a guy who doesn't watch American Idol anymore, you can tell I used to. This is the season that I stopped.

Hey, it's Nadia (I kind of look like a cross between Tara Reid and Carmen Electra) Bjorlin and the cheesiest guy around Brandon Beemer.


Mark Ronson - Amsterdam
Am I alone in liking Michael Madsen?
Where else are you going to see this photo of Morgan Fairchild in a lovely yellow dress? I would rather hang out with Morgan Fairchild than anyone from The Hills. I want my stars to be more than just great self promoters.
Matt Damon on the set of his new film.
This will probably be the only time you ever see Pierfrancesco Favino simply because his name takes forever to get right.


Hey Peter Dinklage. Yes, you are a very good actor, but it is okay to enjoy yourself. It's a premiere. You know, press, girls, guys, whatever you like and lots of booze. You are the center of attention for a brief few hours. Enjoy it. Embrace it, or go work at McDonalds. Not In-N-Out though. I don't want you ruining the experience for me. I like cheery.
They better use for their Christmas card this year. I almost didn't recognize Joel Madden without his RUN DMC suit on.
Natasha Richardson and Liam Neeson. No embarrassing photos for Natasha last night.
Natasha Bedingfield. I feel like I know her so well.
This is Vincent Fantauzzo and he won the Archibald Prize as the People's Choice in Australia for this work of art. I love it which is why I put it in here.



Sting - New York
How sad is it that I know who like four daytime soap stars are. Here is one of the four. Susan Lucci.
Is this the same tub that Vanessa Lemon Jello and Nick Lachey had sex in, because Robbie Williams might not want to get naked in the same place.
Rose McGowan with a new hair color and a new foot accessory.


You know and I know we have a Britney ban on the site, and honestly I don't know why everyone makes a big deal about her being on How I Met Your Mother, but as a reward for doing so well with her recovery, and because Neil Patrick Harris is in the scene, here is a clip of her latest performance.