Cannes Day 4

Aishwarya Rai
Tim Robbins


Woody Harrelson

Rebecca Hall
Adrien Brody and Elsa Pataky

Goldie Hawn
Edward Norton
Penelope Cruz
Paz Vega


Joan Chen, Zhang Ke Jia, Tao Zhao

Dean Cain

Full Frontal Friday

Yep. Snoop Dogg and a bunch of other musical stars take their place in the FFF lineup. I honestly think you are going to love this one and Snoop's photo is here for a very good reason and when you click over you will see why.

As always, the photos are completely NSFW, unless you happen to work from home. Please be of legal viewing age, or at least be prepared with your fake i.d. Hey, it's McLovin come on in.

Click here to get started.

Four For Friday - In One Big Blind

This one hurts because I would have never thought of this B list film actress as a home wrecker. She has always been a favorite. B list film actress sounds so generic now doesn't it? How about we make (#1) gorgeous and aging, but not old. How about someone who is taken seriously as an actress but is definitely not shy about showing off her body. OK, so on the set of her new film she and her female co-star (#2)who was once a B list actress and is now closer to C, but is well known and made her reputation from basically one television show and one serious boyfriend, were bonding and talking smack about the other cast members. At some point they both started talking about our B-/C+ actor (#3) who is doing this film but is known much more for two great television roles on two great television shows. OK, they were both good shows, but I only liked one. Turns out that #3 had hit on both #1 and #2 and #2 was discussing how she would never do anything with him because #3 has a long term girlfriend (#4) who used to be A list and just kind of wanders from role to role now. #2 was looking to #1 for agreement that it was wrong to sleep with #3, and #1 confessed that she had been sleeping with #3 since the third day of filming and that #3 was going to leave #4 for #1. #2 and #1 haven't spoken to each other since.

Random Photos Part One - With A Reader Photo

The always lovely, and permanently safe America Fererra starts us off today.
Yes, another photo of America. But I want you to look at the lower right of the photo. See the six year old slurping on a mocha frappuccino? That just doesn't seem right. Kids jacked up on ice cream and cake is one thing, but I think that would be an entirely new level of jacked up once the kid starts needing those on a daily basis.
David Boreanaz in his classic pose.
And then something a little lighter.
Dominic Purcell possibly contemplating if he will get another invitation to the FFF party or not.
Heather Locklear and Jack Wagner don't match clothes like many couples. No, they go for something much more 80's. The matching hair right down to the color and length. Only then will they be a true couple.

Garth Brooks & Trisha Yearwood - Los Angeles
Well I'll say this for Evan Rachel Wood she has gone away from the Dita look in a hurry. Of course since she's filming a movie that might have something to do with it. She actually looks normal here.
It's a Deschanel. This time it's Emily. Have to play fair and everything.
The just about perfect Eliza Dushku.
I like Jerry O'Connell but it always seems like he ran a marathon, grabbed whatever clothes he found the quickest and then goes out.

For all of you House fans, Jennifer Morrison was the best I could do.
This is as good as Jamie-Lynn Sigler has looked in awhile.
Joshua Jackson was pretty candid in an interview the other day when he said that he has really struggled to find good roles since he left Dawson's Creek and that it isn't what he expected. Well, all I know is that he better not f**k up the Fletch franchise. He's starring as Fletch in my favorite Fletch book.
Josh Groban - New York
Well I don't know how long the marriage will last, but since she met Nick Cannon, at least Mariah Carey has been dressing much better.

Someone who hasn't been dressing much better is Lindsay Lohan. Good God this is awful. How awful? The Olsen twins are laughing at her.
Saturday Night Live reunion.
Kid Rock & Rev Run - New York
What happened to all those denials?

Yes, it's that time. A reader photo. The reader is the one on the right.

Russell Brand checking out the ladies at The Late Show to see if any would like to visit the bathroom with him later.
I guess Fox is trying to say to the world that Paula Abdul will be back on American Idol next year. I think they should give Taylor Dayne a shot.
I guess Olivia Palermo was sad she didn't get to go to Cannes because she and this dress belong there.
It's been too long since I had Michelle Yeoh in the photos.

I needed Yoko to fill out my collection of photos. I didn't really have many Y's.

Wentworth Miller seems to just have this one look.
Socialites being given their own product lines seems like jumping the shark.
I know Thomas Dekker is supposed to be this young, hip guy, but seriously would it hurt to maybe show some respect to the people that are paying you to be young and hip, and not show the world your underwear.
Shakira - Concert For Children - Mexico City

Your Turn

Seeing NKOTB made me think of guilty pleasures in music. Things you listen to that you really don't want anyone else to know you listen to. I thought we would start with the 80's. I am going to give you two songs that I love and have never told anyone else that I loved before. Plus, as a bonus because this is what I was going to originally do, I found the best rick rolled video I have seen so far. Seriously worth your time.

Waiting For A Star To Fall



We Don't Have To Take Our Clothes Off



The Rick Roll'd Video

Cannes Photos - Day 3

Bono and Sean Penn -


Catherine Deneuve -

Petra Nemcova -


Jean Claude van Damme with wife, Gladys Portugues -

Morgan and Alex Spurlock -



Simon Pegg -



Gillian Anderson -
Denise Rich, Star Jones -



Lily Allen -


Mischa Barton -



Julianne Moore -

I Hope This Was Just A Picnic

So, lets see what's wrong with this photo. Hmmm. No helmet, no seat belt, wearing flip flops and oh, she's about a million months pregnant. There are no before or after photos to this and so we are left guessing as to whether Jamie Lynn Spears just happened to find the very easy to tip ATV just sitting out in the middle of nowhere and decided to hop on, or if she just got done taking it for a little spin and is no resting by eating some kind of meat on a stick. It is entirely possible that she just needed some time alone and was wandering and came across the ATV hidden in the woods, but that doesn't really seem likely.

I would complain about her setting a bad example, but honestly she kind of does pretty well of that on her own without me adding fuel to the fire. I will say that if she was driving, I would be pretty pissed because she can do whatever she wants, but she is about to give birth and if she were in an accident, I don't like to think what could happen.

Daily Mirror Blind Item

Which celebrity has been using her gay best friend to fulfil her needs?

Johnny Depp Going To Play Beavis?

Mike Judge is working on a live action version of Beavis & Butthead, and guess who wants to play Beavis. Yep. Johnny Depp. That really wasn't that hard of a guess was it? I mean I did type Johnny's name and Beavis up their in the headline so it wasn't really a guess along the lines of who came up with pi or something.

Anyway, according to Mike, Johnny does a great Beavis impression, and thinks he would work really well in the role. Judge has previously said he would never do a live action version of the cartoon but apparently has changed his mind. Money will do that. Lots of money really makes you enthusiastic about it which is what Judge is now.

What about Butthead? Mike likes Seann William Scott. I think that would be a great choice also. It's been too long since the world was all doing a Beavis & Butthead impression. I think it has been like 12 years since the movie was released and so the television show must have been before that. Wow. Now everyone who goes will be taking their own kids and letting them in on the love that is Beavis & Butthead. Below are the best parts of the movie. Nine minutes of viewing puts you nine minutes closer to leaving work today.

Someone Still Likes NKOTB

Pouring rain on a Friday morning in New York City and still, The Today show had its biggest crowd ever to see one of their Friday morning concerts. About 3,000 people showed up to watch NKOTB rub themselves down with Ben Gay and Grecian formula and head back out on stage again. After spending all the money they made the first time around, the group decided to take advantage of the fact that people seem to be willing to spend hundreds of dollars per ticket to see groups which weren't all that great the first time around.

Hey, I would do the same thing if I were in their position. I'm probably just jealous that they are all going to get 8 figures when they go on tour, and have hair. Kind of. I don't Here is NKOTB from The Today Show.

Reese Witherspoon Has Cheap Neighbors

Reese Witherspoon has been bragging on her daughter Ava for making cupcakes and then selling them in front of the house to raise money for breast cancer research. I think it is amazing, and I can see why Reese was bragging. Reese said that Ava raised $100 in 2007 selling the cupcakes.

Ummm. $100? Last I checked Reese lived in Brentwood. Even if Ava is charging a quarter or something for each cupcake which is possible, you would think that one of the multi-millionaires having noticed the sign that said the proceeds were going to breast cancer research and the fact that it is Reese's daughter would have coughed up a $20 or $100 bill. I can't imagine anyone anywhere in the country who wouldn't give the kid more than they were asking when they know it is going to a good cause.

And you know it is because I highly doubt that Ava was left outside unsupervised. $100? The maids in the houses probably find that much laying around in the cushions of the couch each day. When Ava gets her cooking on again this year I expect all of Reese's neighbors to make a larger contribution. Yes, I know her neighbors don't read this blog, but their kids and employees, do and so you convince them to each give $100 to Ava for each cupcake.

Quickest Bachelor Party On Record

Even for a guy who basically just has one long bachelor party, even this was quick for Pimpa Joe. Last night he took his future son-in-law out to dinner along with a bunch of Pete's friends. 10 people, 2 hours, $1000 which shows that the guests were not all that interested in hanging out with Pimpa Joe at dinner or after. When the guys only dinner ended, Pimpa left by himself out the front door while Pete Wentz and his friends went out the back door.

I'm guessing that Joe thought he was being sneaky. I mean its not like no one noticed the entire group entering the restaurant, sitting together at the table or getting up as a group. But hey, if you leave out of a separate door no one will think we were together. See, that would be an idiot move, and Pimpa isn't an idiot. Oh, he's the biggest ass on the planet, but he's not an idiot.

My guess is that he knew the paps would all run to Pete which they did and that left Pimpa on his own in Hollywood headed for his own bachelor party with no one following. I bet this one lasted way longer than two hours, and he didn't have to pretend to like the people he was with.

Old Hollywood Gossip - Good Thing Most Of These People Are Dead

So while rummaging through the Daily News to find their blind item this morning I came across some tidbits they had about the upcoming release Hollywood Babylon - It's Back. Yep, it's coming out so I thought I would share what the NY Daily News had and what else I could find as well. Do I think they are true? Actually I do. When people feel invincible and have no fear of getting caught or any punishment, they will go further and further away from the path of normality. Stars in the golden age of Hollywood got away with much more than would ever be possible now. As Rock Hudson once said, "In Hollywood, you can keep a mistress, or a boyfriend, maybe both. You can go gay, -bi, or pan-sexual. Just don't tell anybody, and don't get caught." Pretty tough to get caught when everyone had an interest in maintaining your image as perceived by fans.

Besides just Hollywood, the authors go global and talk about a former Pope and his many male lovers.

They talk about Joan Crawford and how she made as much money being a porn star as she did being a regular actress.

They have lots of full frontal shots of both males (you have already seen all they have) and females.

They accuse James Dean of being a child molester (12 year old boy), and Errol Flynn as an incestuous child molester along with Cray Grant who diddled his step-son.

Elvis Presley was bisexual, and Lucille Ball started off as a hooker.

People had sex with Judy Garland after she died. I know, I know. But, we also all know that we will probably be first in line to buy the book when it comes out.

Kirsten Dunst Drinking Again?

The last thing this world needs is Kirsten Dunst on another out of control drinking rampage, but it appears that only a few months after leaving rehab, she probably should go back for a little refresher. According to Star, Kirsten has been partying almost every night, with each night being more crazy than the one before. What usually starts out as Kirsten trying to behave, inevitably ends up with her throwing herself at any guy who smiles at her. I would think that after the 15th guy realizes that Kirsten will kiss and grope anything that perhaps the rest of the guys would not want to be a part of it.

The "insider" stated that, "she was just completely out of it. It was obvious that whatever happened in rehab didn't stick."

Well, with Kirsten you can't ever really be sure if she is being normal or not because she is always pretty much out of it. I think even if she was sober she would pretty much be out of it. Not to cross swords with Star, but from what I've heard she has actually been pretty good since getting out of rehab. Perfect? Hell no. This is Kirsten we're talking about, but she has been pretty good, and fairly boring. Whatever partying she has been doing has been with friends and at home away from prying eyes and cameras. I can't even remember when the pap last spotted her which means she has learned her lesson and also goes to show everyone that even someone who was in pap photos almost every day can disappear from them should they choose. Unless you have a pap parked in front of your house, it is your decision whether or not you are going to get snapped. Remember that when you see a celebrity complaining about the cameras.

NY Daily News Blind Item

Which TV legend likes to play dirty in the bedroom? The larger-than-life fella ties up his conquests with bathrobes - and takes breaks from "satisfying" the girls only to snort piles of coke.

Today's Blind Items

#1 - I don't think the parents of this B- list television actress who is way under the legal age of consent would be thrilled to know she is sleeping with her much older television B+ list actor co-star.

#2 - This is the funniest one I have ever got from the accountant. This celebutard is engaged to a B list film actress with A+ name recognition. He spent $34,000 on porn last year, and tried to claim it as a deduction for business purposes. He had each and every receipt for all the porn. All of it. He claimed that he needed it to see the proper way to act in a love scene. When the accountant reminded him he wasn't even an actor, our celebutard said something to the effect of, "I've got my girlfriend believing I'm the best guy in the world. I'm a great actor." They chose not to try and deduct the porn.

Random Photos Part One

Charlize Theron on the cover of W. She looks fabulous.
I'm glad Craig Ferguson is finally getting some respect and some ratings. He's pretty damn hilarious even on TiVo the next morning.
I know others will probably disagree, but I actually think Christina Aguilera looks good here.
Its always nice to see a FFF member fully clothed. In this case it's Alex Castro. Yes, I'm sure you are all clicking over to FFF now. It's ok, the photos will be here when you get back.
How can someone look this good in a candid photo after a lunch? After lunch I can't even keep my pants zipped.

From now on Eduardo Verastegui is just Eduardo.
Edward Norton testifying before Congress.
Each and everyday that she hasn't been married to Marc Anthony has got to be the new best day of her life for Dayanara Torres.
Busy day at Congress for celebrities as Dennis Quaid was also there.
Where else but here will you see Marcia Gay Harden and Greg Louganis?

Kanye West - New York
I'm sure at the house when Jay Mohr and Nikki Cox were going over this stunt it sounded much funnier.
Joe Lean And The Jing Jang Jong - Manchester
The long name of the day award goes to Giulia Elettra Gorietti. Yeah you type it and see how funny it is.
Rachael Ray has that pained expression on her face that only comes when she doesn't have her husband in her direct line of sight.

Not a big fan of bow ties, but Robert Figueroa pulls it off rather nicely.
I had to. It was just too easy. Kind of like her. The name of her new perfume is Can Can. Slogan? Smells like tuna.
You have to give this to PETA. They are some creative f**kers.
Perhaps Niurka Marcos should have used some of the fabric from the train and used it to cover her breasts.
I don't even know where to begin. And what the hell is wrong with her legs?

This is a political chess set given to Queen Elizabeth by the government of Turkey. Check out the pawns. I also could be wrong, but I believe they have the Iranian President as the Queen. This really doesn't seem appropriate to give to the Queen.
Swoosie Kurtz looks great. Must be in the water in NY.
A first appearance I think in the photos for Simon Baker.
Ditto for Rufus Sewell.

Cannes Photos - Day 2

To make this easier for everyone, I'm just going to give the Cannes photos their own special place. As someone pointed out to me, it is what I did last year. The problem is that I don't remember what I did last week, so last year is a bit tough. The only thing I remember from Cannes last year is Jerry Seinfeld in a bee costume. Oh, and Ocean's 13.

Natalie Portman - Cannes



Dustin Hoffman, Angelina Jolie and Jack Black - Cannes



Mellody Hobson and George Lucas - Cannes


Michel Gondry, Bong Joon Ho, Leox Carax - Cannes



Lucy Lui, Dustin Hoffman, Lisa Gottsegen - Cannes



Ari Folman - Cannes



Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt - Cannes


Eva Longoria Parker, Aishwarya Rai - Cannes

Brad Pitt - Cannes


Angelina Jolie and Jack Black - Cannes


Natalie Imbruglia - Cannes



Jury President Faith Akin - Cannes



Rachael Lee Cook and Daniel Gillies - Cannes



Angelina Jolie - Cannes

Jack Black - Cannes


Dustin Hoffman - Cannes


Pablo Trapero and Martina Gusman - Cannes



Rodrigo Santoro - Cannes

Shania Twain A Free Woman

According to Kneepads Magazine, Shania Twain and her husband Mutt Lange have split. I'm sure Kneepads will run a story in the next few weeks which totally kisses Shania's ass for allowing them to be first with the story. It will be all about growing up and how she wants to change the world and how Mutt is amazing but it was just time for her to move on, and blah, blah, blah. It will be photos of her and the kids and she will look fabulous and suitably crushed and everyone will believe she is some little broken princess that needs to be healed. The only way to do that is to buy more of her records.

Let's face it. Mutt hadn't been giving her the hits like he used to, and so she kicked him to the curb. If everyone has some impression that Shania is as friendly as the rest of her fellow Canadians, then you have been drinking too much Molson because she ain't.

Is Mutt the nicest guy? He used to be. She has kept him locked away for the past 14 years so I really don't have any idea whether he is the guy he used to be or not.

I do know that the divorce statement was released by her rep so that means Mutt is the one with his heart broken. Probably. She might have eaten it for breakfast or something.

Great Eyesight Everyone

Yesterday in Random Photos I posted the photo above. Everyone recognized Jason Lewis and then lots of you recognized Curt Smith, including Curt Smith himself. So after a few back and forth e-mails, it was agreed that I would post the photo back up again and the cover art to his new CD which is coming out next week. If you want to visit Curt's website, click here.In return, if and when he has a CD release party, all of you are invited. Of course you have to come to LA, but hey, still invited. Also, if he goes on tour, I will let you know. In the meantime, in case you are saying to yourself, who the f**k is Curt Smith, maybe the video below will help you remember. I didn't go for the obvious choice. I instead went for the great song with the cheesy of cheesiest videos.

Daily Mirror Blind Item

Which hot US musician is kidding no-one with his string of showmances? Everyone in the business knows he'd rather a hunk to a gorgeous leading lady...

Jessica Jacobs Dies

I know most of you don't know who Jessica Jacobs is, but she's an Australian television star and she was just 17. Apparently she and her brother were at a train station in Melbourne when she somehow fell off the platform and into the path of an oncoming train.

My heart just goes out to her family, and especially to her brother who was standing right next to her when it happened. I can't imagine what it's like to be standing there chatting with your sister one second and then watching something tragic like that the next.

I hate train platforms. I honestly don't know why more people are not killed each year. You stand there two inches from the edge in rush hour with a million people pressed against you, sometimes you are underground, but sometimes you are outside and you would think people would trip or slip or something more often. I'm surprised that no one has really ever put barriers in place to try and prevent these types of accidents. I guess a certain number of people would need to die each year before the cost would be worth it, but it just seems so damn tragic.

This accident happened on Saturday but, because of the time zones and sun spots, and the fact that the message came in Morse Code, I didn't actually hear about it until today. Funeral services for the actress are going to be held on Friday. The photo above is Jessica with her brother.

Blaaaaaaaaaake Not Going To Ever Divorce Amy. Shocker Huh?

Blaaaaaaake's mom came out last week and said Blake should get divorced. This week she told a different magazine for an additional sum of money that she knows he will never divorce her. Next week she will tell a different tabloid for an additional amount of money that Blaaaaake is an alien and she is actually a bride. Well at some point you start running out of the tabloid, tabloids and you end up with the sightings of Elvis and the honeymoon killer. (went a long way for that one)

Does anyone actually believe that Blaaaaake would voluntarily divorce Amy? Would you? Hell no you wouldn't. Yes, she's a drug dealing, disease infested, Pete Doherty kissing, too thin, no teeth having, bra in public wearing, rats nest for a hairdo having, barefoot in public bathroom walking, chain smoking, drug injecting, crack smoking, heroin smoking, meth taking, hooker using, self cutting, promiscuous, whining, assaulting guys for no reason, arrested weekly, barely breathing kind of woman, but she does have one very important thing going for her.

She's rich. Yep. Despite her drug habit which she probably doesn't pay all on her own, what else does she spend money on? Seriously. Think about it. Junk food and newspapers. She is the most literate crack addict I have ever seen. I also wonder why she doesn't subscribe or why the newspapers just don't give them to her for free. She sells a bunch of their papers you think they would give her a comp or something.

So, if you are Blaaaaake and you are sitting in jail watching your wife slowly kill herself with drugs and whatever else while she sleeps with the male population of the UK, do you really mind? Oh, you would mind if you were there to see it or if she made $10,000 a year, but you can suck it up knowing that at some point she is probably going to do something stupid and then you will be a very rich man.

So, if you ever read a Blaaaaake is going to divorce Amy story, you know it is just so full of crap.

"I Hope You Die With Her"

Not a very pleasant thing to say to anyone. When it is addressed to your ex-wife and the mother of your kids and referring to your former mother-in-law, it is even a less good thing. Yesterday I perused an interview Denise Richards had done with Ryan Seacrest on his morning show. First of all I use the word interview very loosely. I just wonder if the radio station makes him pay the going rate for a five or ten minute ad because that is basically what he is doing. He owns Denise's show. The radio station doesn't. So, he is essentially getting unpaid ad after unpaid ad and I'm sure the other advertisers on the station would also like the same perk.

Anyway, enough about the whoring Ryan does. Lets talk about the interview. I skimmed it because I had read it all or heard it all before. "Didn't date Richie Sambora until after his divorce." Yeah yeah, whatever. "Charlie's an ass." Heard it. "No vaccines for the kids is reason we divorced." Heard that one too. It was at that point I gave up. Then today someone (thanks Yorkshire) e-mailed me a more complete transcript and I saw the part about Denise being upset about her mom's death. I think that speaks for itself. But then there was this quote that just blew me away.

"The god's honest truth was, he said, 'I hope you die with her.' It was awful, awful. And to not be there for the memorial...forget me, but the kids. That's their Nana. My mom was the closest person to my girls after myself and Charlie. So no, we don't speak at all."

Now, do I put it past Denise to exaggerate. Of course not. Look what she used to do for a living. How many different times can you say its the biggest you've ever seen. In this case though, it seems pretty genuine. The statement may have been taken out of context, but to ever say that about your children's mother is pretty heartless. What if one of them overheard it or in a few years reads it on the internet.

Charlie Sheen has always been kind of an ass, but this is just kind of going way too far. It doesn't make me like Denise any additional amount, just makes me dislike Charlie more.

No Viagra Or Not Interested?

Vince Vaughn turning down a threesome is probably a fairly rare event so when he turned down a possible threesome with sisters Liza and Suzi Graves my immediate thought was that he had forgotten to bring his Viagra with him. My second thought, and probably much more accurate thought was he realized it was a set up. I don't think it's any coincidence that Life & Style magazine just happened to interview one of the sisters in the attempted pickup.

Come on. What did they do? Call the magazine and say, "My sister and I tried to get Vince Vaughn to do a threesome and he said no." What kind of story is that? It's a nothing story that absolutely no one cares about. However, if you have possibly paid this woman and her sister to have a threesome with Vince and then report on that, then it would be worth something. Since you already paid for the women's time you might as well get something out of it and throw up a quick paragraph about how Vince turned them down.

The fact they were sisters would have been a nice hook for the magazine. Do you think the girls were underage?

Whatever the circumstances, I think Vince made a really good decision.

Cyclone Relief? Naah. How About Earthquake Relief? Naah. How About $1M For Photos Of A Wedding? Sure

Last I checked there were literally millions upon millions of people affected by the cyclone and earthquake disasters of the past few weeks. Now, this could be a stretch, but I'm guessing that considerably less people are going to be affected by The Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz wedding this weekend. Oh, I'm sure that a few of Pete's boyfriends will feel they aren't going to get enough attention, or that the four fans Ashlee has left might worry she will stop recording, but aside from those people, who really gives a rats ass if they marry?

Apparently the tabloids and magazines care as the asking price right now for photos of the wedding stands above $1M. Yep, gone out the window from the former pastor is any compassion for people in the world who need the money. No, he turned his back on that a very long time ago. The only thing important to Pimpa Joe right now is making sure he gets as much money as he can off his daughters. See, Pimpa will probably take the photos himself, so the tabloid will pay the photographer for the photos. It will be up to Pimpa whether he shares the money with Pete or Ashlee. I bet for an extra 500K he will go ahead and throw in some honeymoon sex photos as well.

If any tabloid pays that kind of money for those pictures without making some kind of equal contribution to something worthwhile than I think that magazine should be stoned and pilloried everyday. I think the buying of photos from weddings and new baby photos has got to stop. Each of those events should not be a commercial event.

I can't wait until people start charging for funeral photos.

NY Daily News Blind Item

Which young actress may be a little too much like her TV character? At a wrap party for her show, the tween got totaled at the bar and had to crawl into a waiting taxi.

Today's Blind Items

I didn't know she had it in her, and I'm still trying to figure out where she learned it. Oh, I guess you would like to know who and what I'm talking about. So, this breakup that you have been hearing about in the past couple of days? You know the big one. Anyway, from what I have been told, the reason they broke up is because she was too kinky for him. Her? I know. Unbelievable. What I guess finally drove him away was the fact that she is a big fan of erotic asphyxiation. She loves having it done to her to the point of passing out. He tried it once. Freaked him out, so he left because she wanted it most of the time. What I can't figure out is who taught it to her? I doubt she reads so someone must have done it with her.

Random Photos Part One - With A Reader Photo

So, today marks the start of Cannes and a bunch of new photos each day. Although it may not seem like it, my supply of snark is not endless. Therefore for the duration of Cannes, any photos from there will be treated like music photos with simply the name of the person and the fact it is in Cannes. For the most part everyone who attends looks fabulous or amazing or great or pretty or handsome or sponge worthy or whatever. So, unless there is just something that is unique, then the pictures will just be captions. (Of course I already broke my own rule, as you will see, but it won't happen often) My goal is to pick the best each day, but there are just so many people and photos that it will be easy to miss some that I'm sure you would like to see.


Happy Birthday Amber. 25 years old. Wow. Now you can rent a car without incurring those additional charges. If you have read the blog for any length of time then you probably have guessed I have a certain affection for Amber. She is without a doubt one of the four or five most amazing people I know. When I need something she is always there to give it and doesn't expect anything in return. She is funny and intelligent, and beautiful and has the most wicked sense of humor anywhere. She basically invented snark. Although all of you know her primarily for her acting, she is so much more than that. Whether it be writing or performing her poetry or the causes she fights for every day or her love for everyone around her, she is so much more than the one dimensional actress you typically find in LA. As a rule she hates gossip blogs, and she doesn't particularly like the fact I write one, but it has never stopped her from being my friend because she only wants the very best for the people she cares about. She doesn't spy for me or do anything like that, and even if she tells me something juicy, she knows I will keep it to myself. I hope you have the greatest day imaginable. (ECA)
Andrea Osvart - Cannes
I didn't think it was possible for Amaury Nolasco to look bad, but this comes close.
Thankfully he knows how to rectify the situation.
Claudia Schiffer - German Vogue
I think this is the first time to the photos for Christian Kane so I'll be nice.
So do you think Chace Crawford enjoys knowing that Tom Cruise is a big fan? Do you think Tom sits in his room at night watching Gossip Girls? I don't either. I think Katie said she liked the show and so Tom wanted to jump on the I'm hip bandwagon.
Cate Blanchett - Cannes
The new cast of Beverly Hills 90210.
I know Holly Hunter is really tiny, but she really needs to eat. She just looks way too thin here.

Gillian Anderson - Cannes
Faye Dunaway - Cannes
I love this look on Eve. I'm so tired of her always wearing dresses that show off her two tattoos. This is so much better.
Devon Aoki - Cannes

Where else are you going to see Jacqueline Bisset?

Now the belly on Jack Black makes sense. Method acting.
Something about Ioann Gruffudd just looks a bit off. Usually he is impeccable but it's like he said I'm going to wear a brand new pair of jeans today. It just seems to me that some guys can wear jeans forever and some guys can't. I am a can't and it appears Ioann is also.
So imagine if Beyonce is really pregnant with child. Now imagine it is a girl and she grows up and starts dating. Would you honestly want to be the guy who brought her home five minutes late? Would you even dare come within six inches of her at any time?

It's like friends day on Random Photos. Jena Malone looks great.
From all the e-mails I get when I have Jason Lewis on the photos, I'm guessing most of you think he is photo worthy.

The new Miss Universe Laura Dundovi.

Who wants to bet that Larry David and Bette Midler probably made each other laugh a few times last night. That would have been a fun conversation.
One Night Only - Manchester

So Gloria Reubens and Jane Kaczmarek look fine, but what is going on with Mark Paul Gosselaar? A shower should not be an optional event when going to something like this.

Does anyone know if Selita Ebanks kept the ring Nick Cannon gave her?

Here is our reader photo for today.
Yes, Tom Cruise was the "star" of Risky Business, but it wouldn't have worked without Rebecca DeMornay. Do you think she might be pissed that Oprah didn't give her a two parter for Risky Business' 25th Anniversary? I mean that was the purpose of the two-parter right?
Yeah, I threw up also, so don't be ashamed.
Olivia Wilde always looks great.
This is a photo from a shoot Zooey Deschanel did for a magazine, but honestly I don't know what magazine. I just put it in because it has been awhile since we had Zooey in here.

Van Halen - East Rutherford
It could be the camera or the angle, but Timothy Hutton isn't looking his best.
Suchin Pak always looks great.
Sean Penn - Cannes

Eight Years In Prison - Would You Marry Her

When Remy Ma was sentenced this week to eight years in prison I thought the relationship between her and her crazy boyfriend Papoose would end in a hail of glorious gunfire. OK, not really gunfire, but since Remy is going to jail for shooting someone I thought it was fitting. So MaPa which is my name for the couple are supposed to get married in jail this weekend. They initially wanted to have Ashlee and Pete get married with them in the jail, but Ashlee didn't want Remy's orange prison jumpsuit upstaging her own traditional white. Pete offered to wear a jumpsuit, but it just didn't work. Too bad really because I think Pimpa was looking forward to spending some time in a women's prison.

Although the above was a joke, I am serious about MaPa getting married this weekend. Would you actually marry someone who has just been sentenced to 8 years in jail? I know it won't actually be 8 years, and I mean it isn't like she is probably going to catch you cheating, or if if she does, that she can do anything about it, but would you marry someone knowing you wouldn't get to be alone with them for years and years?

I wouldn't do it. I think Remy would do it, because what does it matter to her? She can still have a prison wife. Papoose though is probably thinking about it long and hard, and it won't be happening this weekend, so he will have time to think. Seems in a visit yesterday he tried to smuggle in a universal handcuff key. They should have thrown him in jail, but instead just kicked him out.

"Here baby. Here's a handcuff key. After you get yourself unlocked, just try and make it past the 1500 guards and the barbed wire and the security gates and the two hundred other things to stop you. See how much I love you. This key will get you out."

Does he really think she's wearing the handcuffs 24/7? Idiot.

Daily Mirror Blind Item

Which fresh-faced A-list actress is actually a closet alcoholic? This gorgeous starlet likes to kick-start her day with an early morning Bloody Mary - and a couple of Nurofen.

Ready To Wed And Wed Are Totally Different Things

OK! Magazine this week has the huge headline that Reese and Jake are ready to wed. I think all of us are ready to wed. If you are single or even if you aren't and the right person came along, I would think all of us are ready to wed.

Wouldn't you know it? You read the article and there isn't a damn thing in there about the plans for the wedding or where it is going to be at. Hell, according to the article they aren't even formally engaged. Oh, those are the words of their source, not mine. Seems that Reese and Jake are saying that it won't be long before Jake pops the question to Reese.

So, let me get this straight. Not preparing for a wedding, not engaged, doesn't appear that they have even talked about it, but they are ready to wed. But wait, it gets better. A source at the restaurant where they ate said the pair couldn't keep their eyes off each other. Not their hands or their mouths or their tongues. Their eyes.

You know what that is? That's not true love, that's being polite. Unless you are scared of someone, when you are seated across from someone and eating, it is generally considered bad form to keep your eyes down and on your food. Couldn't take their eyes off each other. Where were they supposed to put them? I guess the fact that they weren't both staring at the ass of the waiter is a positive step, but is hardly worthy of marriage talk.

Oh, and the friend wants the world to know that Reese would never live with Jake prior to marrying him, because as the friend puts it, "Reese is very conservative and traditional. I'm sure she doesn't want her kids to see her 'living in sin.'"

No, that would be terrible. Ummm. Doesn't Ryan actually live with someone? So yeah, that point kind of goes out the window. Anyway, if you need a good laugh and a great lesson in how to get people at the checkout line to pick up your magazine, this is excellent.

I'm Guessing These Two Loved Each Other At Some Point

John Cleese and his wife of 15 years are getting divorced. I'm surprised that they both made it out of the marriage alive to actually get divorced. There is such an intense level of hate between the two that it makes you wonder what the hell they ever saw in each other. Yesterday, in the first skirmishes of the divorce, a judge ordered that she receive about $160,000 a month in temporary support which will be effective until their trial.

I didn't know John Cleese had that much money. I guess he thinks he doesn't as well saying that she is basing her demands on one great year he had in 2007 where he voiced a character in Shrek The Third and sold some property.

She left him in January and has repeatedly told the court she doesn't even have a penny to her name yet she somehow is managing to afford a $1200 a night hotel room. Umm, anyone heard of apartments? She needs that much money because she is used to staying in castles with royalty. So, what? She's going to buy her own castle and stock it with royalty? How does someone put a price on that?

Anyway, John says that the divorce will be expensive and may bankrupt him, but that it is worth each and every penny as long as she is removed from his life forever. That is a lot of angst. They must have had some terrific arguments to reach that level of hate and anguish. I don't think I've ever hated anyone like that who I had previously loved, but I have said just give them whatever they want so I never have to deal with them again. That was more of a pain thing though rather than a I hate you so much I hope you die before you see a penny kind of thing.

She probably feels the same way as well, but it was nice of both of them to suffer through the holidays together before she left. Do you think they exchanged gifts?

Jodie And Cydney Call It Quits

It just goes to show you why you should never talk about your significant other in public or in a magazine article or a television show because in the next instant what seemed to be a great 14 year relationship could be done. The Enquirer is reporting that Jodie Foster and her long time partner Cydney Bernard are calling it quits.

It was only in December that she finally opened up in public for the first time about her relationship, and look, wham, five months later, it's done. Guess maybe she didn't see it coming or she was trying desperately to keep it going or just appeasing Cydney. Who knows? Cydney who has been there for both of the births of their children and is nine years older than Jodie has been around for what seems like forever, and by Hollywood standards is forever.

Honestly I don't think Jodie Foster is the easiest person to probably live with, and combine that with the fact that she is the reason a President was shot and you can kind of see why she is a bit of a control freak and always a little on edge. She never answers the phone, doesn't have any staff, and until a few months ago didn't have a cell phone. You would think that someone who is as rightfully afraid of stalking as anyone on the planet that she would in fact want a cell phone. I guess she though real life was like the movies and that a policeman would magically appear or she would be able to use CGI to battle her way out of a life threatening situation. OK, she probably got it because she needed a way to call AAA, but my way sounds more fun.

I actually think they were a great couple and to me Cydney was a saint, because in case you haven't been able to read between the lines of the last few paragraphs, Jodie can be, not so much fun to be around, and that seems to be almost a 24/7 kind of thing from her. 14 years of that can leave anyone needing a break or a drink, or both.

Colin Farrell Dying?

Look, I know the Daily Mail is not above using bad photos or angles or even adding a blemish or two or three, but this looks really bad. This photo of Colin from the Daily Mail was taken in Spain yesterday where he is currently shooting a new film. The only explanation I can fathom other than death is that he and Carson Daly are having a contest to see who can look closest to death without going over. I guess he and Angie Harmon could have a bet to see who can lose the most weight. I think Colin is still losing if he made that bet. Whatever the case, and whatever the angle, Colin needs to do something or his whole body is going to just wither away to nothing. I guess it could be drugs, although it would have to be almost non-stop drugs to transform his body from what it was in 2006 to now. I mean the guy has always had issues with abusing substances, but this would be enormous.

Victoria Beckham Had A Busy Day

By my count, Victoria Beckham gave three different interviews to three different news organizations yesterday and as far as I can tell, she isn't even promoting anything. I guess all the tabloids missed her and so they all called her at once. To me it seems like she's trying to make up for all that bad publicity she got in the wake of her jeans scandal. I know, I know, who knew you could have a scandal about not selling jeans.

Whenever I start despising Victoria again because I think she is a self important pompous brat, she says something that makes me at least pause for a few seconds before I go back to my original opinion. In one of the interviews, I believe with the Mirror, Posh said, "I'm a terrible actress. Everyone thinks I'm only friends with Tom [Cruise] and Katie [Holmes] to be in a movie but it's not true. I've turned down lots of roles."

She went on to say that she turned down a role in Sex And The City as well because of her lack of acting skills. I love that about her. I really do. I wish more people felt the same way and then we wouldn't have all of these reality stars thinking they can act in films or television and singers and such who think acting is no big deal and look stupid.

As I said previously though she also does make me crazy when she says things like "It's not just celebrities I hang out with though. I've become really good friends with the mums from my sons' school as well." Uh huh. I must have missed all those photos of you and David hanging out in front of the grill at a neighbor's house while David and his new pals kick back and chug some Old Milwaukee while you explain to your new friends how it is you have managed to go five years without stepping foot into a grocery store. I'm sure everyone there will relate to that.

I'm sure the news that you consider some of the moms there as a friend would probably come as a shock to most of them. See, just because you say hi to someone for 5 seconds from behind your three bodyguards doesn't actually make you a friend. When you invite them all over to a pool party and mix in Tom and Katie into the bunch, then I will consider them your friends. Until then, just call them what they are to you. Nameless faces of someone who happens to have a kid who goes to the same school as your kid and who happens to pick up their kid at approximately the same time.

NY Daily News Blind Item

Which star of an upcoming blockbuster flick is a huge cad despite his image as a family man? Word is the actor is getting a little too touchy-feely with the ladies.

Today's Blind Items

This is a great one, but you will have to work for it because you probably don't know the name. She's B list by definition for sure. 95% television. Lots of great shows. Primarily big hits. Seems that on one of the hit shows she was on she developed an affection for one of her co-stars. No big deal you say. What's so juicy about that? Well the co-star is married. Still not a shocker or anything really juicy. She slept with the co-star. Again you are telling yourself, no big deal. Well seems she found that one time fling something that should have lasted much longer and has spent the past few years stalking her co-star. When I say stalking, I mean stalking. Drive bys. Calling him all the time. Sending him things in the mail that she has worn. Her co-star has never reported her to the police, but gave her a final warning last week after she showed up at his house at 3am wearing next to nothing. So far so good, but I think it is only a matter of time until she comes back again.

Random Photos Part One - With Two Reader Photos In One Photo!!!!

I think what everyone wants to ask the lovely Ali Larter is this. When exactly are you going to get married? The world is dying to know. OK, not necessarily the world, and probably not dying. But curious? Could I get curiosity from the world? A mild interest? A raised eyebrow? Well, I still want to know.
Latex? Christian Slater's face looks like the doctors pulled really hard. Man that must have hurt.

On account of the fact that I have made my affection for Bernadette Peters clear, I figured I might as well go ahead and plug her new children's book, and the CD has Bernadette talking.
Very close to the top. I thought about putting Bob and Jillian at the top just because I enjoy them. They actually seem like they care about the people they are helping on the show. Publicity hounds? Jillian for sure, but still, they really do care and it shows.
Empty and no one showed up to see her but she's still smiling. What do you do when a big corporate bank spends a ton of money on a family movie night and no one comes? What are you supposed to do if you are the celebrity host? Well Allison Janney found that out. There were some people who actually did come, but not very many and most looked like bank employees and their families.
You have to realize that I would put BJ Novak in here more often, but honest to God, I really do get on a huge Greg Evigan kick when I do, and I really don't have time this week to do a Greg Evigan marathon. Oh, speaking of marathons, had a mini - MI5 one last night. I like it. A lot. Only in the first season so don't spoil anything.
OK, I admit it. I'm a big Damian Lewis fan, and good news for him is that he's never been a blind item. He should get a t-shirt for that or something.

Ummm. Stop the presses. Diane Keaton looks normal, and, wait for it...Amazing.
I know David Hyde Pierce is a great actor, but don't you think he would make the best game show host? Something droll. Something where he could make people feel stupid would be perfect. He's not a Wheel Of Fortune guy.
Death Cab For Cutie - New York
Just last night I was talking about Charlize Theron and how I thought she always looked glamorous. Yeah. I'll go ahead and find someone else to pick for next time.
Always looking good is Jenna Fischer. Always.

So how many hats do you think Judah Friedlander has anyway? I love how they are all generic.
Maybe this is how Jessica Alba can reinvent her career. Silent film star. Woman playing a man. Actually it is a pretty amazing photo.
I am putting this out to all of you because I really don't know. Did Harrison Ford ever explain why he wanted to look like the grandpa with the earring you avoid at the mall.
Nice to know, jackets that don't quite fit are coming back in because that basically sums up my entire wardrobe. Eric Dane can do so much better than this.
Evidently I'm in a great mood, because Kathy Griffin looks really good. Of course I really do wish she could work a new pose into her game, but she looks good. That Apple money must have been nice while it lasted.

Jack McBrayer. Put this on your screen saver and you will always be in a good mood.
And if that doesn't work, just put this photo on a dartboard and have fun with the whole family. Order some pizza and see who wins.
You can tell it was NBC upfront day yesterday. I'm running out of superlatives. Yes, that is your word of the day. Now just watch the duck to drop from the ceiling. No, seriously. Watch. Yes, I broke into your house last night and installed one just in case someone mentions the word superlative where you live. Oh, Jane Krakowski. Love her. You know that.
John Krasinski. You know I love him, and you all think he is doing the dirty with Rashida Jones.
Lori Loughlin. You know its amazing that even though Full House ended like 13 years ago, everyone is still pretty much in the public eye from that show. Lori has the prettiest of those eyes, although yes, I could see why you would pick John Stamos.

So much easier when the entire cast gets into one photo. Easier to make fun of. No, they all look great. Well not everyone, but ok, well half don't look that great. Andrew looks good though.
The entire world is already in the photos, so what the hell. I can squeeze in one more. Lance Armstrong. Hey yellow tie. Big surprise there.
A true random photo. Come on, You know you never thought you would see the day where Jane Fonda, Ludacris and Tommy Lee had a threesome. Oh? No threesome? Tongue? Oh, just a photo. Still, you never thought you would see it.
I like the new Kimberly Stewart look. A lot.
Yes, it is that time. It's two reader photos and they jammed themselves up into one lens. Love it.

Well would you be smiling if some tabloid just said your girlfriend was a lesbian. The next thing you know they will be wondering about you.
This is going on forever. Hmm. Running out of things to say. How about Michelle Trachtenberg has really nice hair. It actually does look nice. Like it smells really good. Of course she probably chain smokes and hasn't washed it in four days, but it's nice to dream.
Minka Kelly looks great. Moving on now.
Minnie Driver - London

Always have time for Tina Fey. I have some time now Tina. If you would like to come over and we could talk. Maybe play some Luther Vandross. We could watch Gilligan's Island and then make $240 worth of pudding.

Hey Canada. Your ET! host looks a little freaked out. It's Ted Danson. Maybe he's had a crush on him. I don't know, but that is just a little too giddy for Ted. Yes, he's a good looking man. Would you expect anything less from Whoopi Goldberg (Hi Whoopi!) than a good looking guy?
My favorite royal couple. I just seriously want to know why they even bother and where exactly are the little wind up thingys.
Way to make a buck even when going to court. I think more celebrities should try this.
I saved you for last Selma because I wanted to give you special attention. I go through phases with Selma Blair and this is one of those phases where I think she's smoking hot. Later I'll remember she was married to a Zappa and I'll get over it, but for now. Hot.

Wine List In A Maternity Ward

Granted I haven't spent much time if any in a maternity ward, but I sure didn't imagine they had things like wine lists. I was reading an article about Jenny Frost who is a singer from the UK and she was rambling about how she gave up vodka so she could breastfeed, and I was bored and about to turn the page, when I saw it.

"When I was pregnant, I couldn't wait to go out and have a vodka, but then when I had Caspar, I just wanted a cup of tea! They had a wine list next to the bed in the hospital I gave birth in, but I only wanted a tea!"

A wine list? I would think hospitals would encourage breastfeeding and letting a new mom get drunk on a bottle of wine right after giving birth seems to me the wrong message to send. I thought you weren't supposed to drink while breastfeeding. Am I wrong? I don't breastfeed, although. No, not right now. I'm on a roll.

When someone says a winelist, I assume they mean that bottles are offered as opposed to glasses. She didn't mention that she was going to share the wine with anyone and if you are going to get drunk and pass out, a hospital seems a pleasant place to do it. I just don't think a hospital should even have liquor. Hey, if a visitor needs a drink, fine. Do what any normal person does. Reach into your pocket and pull out a flask. Pass it around so everyone gets some and put it back in the pocket.

I'm sure this was some very fancy hospital and they thought they were providing a service, but to me, it seems that the hospital part should come way before the service part, and letting new moms drink just doesn't seem like a service to them or to the baby.

Quit Or Fired?

Oprah Winfrey reminds me of the guy who says he wasn't fired, and even if he had been, it didn't matter because he was going to quit anyway. Showing that Oprah is not infallible, her show Big Give was given the big kick out the door by ABC and so won't be coming back to your television screens this fall.

Of course, Oprah's people didn't quite see it the same way you or I would see it. Her spokesperson told US Weekly, "Oprah felt like she got a message out there. It was not something she wanted to renew."

Uh huh. So this was just a one time thing huh? How come she didn't say that going in then? I'll tell you why. Because she wanted the show to go on forever. No one likes to see something fail miserably. Why do you think she has kept Dr. Phil under her wing for so long. She can't admit now that he is a loon because she told the world he was the best. Rachael Ray? Next time check on the entire family before you sign someone. What can Oprah do? She squeals with giddiness when she says Rachael's name in public and then goes home and abuses whoever gave her the idea to put Rachael on the air and that her husband was a real winner and a real asset to Rachael.

Now, Oprah could just make this all better by putting the show on her network, but no one would come. Stars will come look like big heroes and cough up dough on primetime network television, but not so much a cable channel that is rarely watched. No one would know how much the stars loved people if they had to do it on the downlow.

Daily Mirror Blind Item

Which singer was left shame-faced when her manager walked in on her doing the dirty with her other half?

She had some explaining to do because she should have been busy at work - rather than enjoying herself!

It's My Blog So I Can Talk About Fraggle Rock

Variety is reporting today that Fraggle Rock is going to become a film. No actors, just live action like we like. The Jim Henson Company is going to do it all so that will be incredible.

The premise of the film? Core characters Gobo, Wembley, Mokey, Boober and Red all make it onto the big screen when they leave their home of Fraggle Rock and meet humans – who they think are aliens.

There has been talk of a movie since the show was on the air back in the 1980's. Wow, I'm getting old. Hell, I was old then. Nothing like getting your drink on and watching Fraggle Rock. Loved it because it was on HBO and so no commercials.

In case you have never seen the show, your life has been meaningless until now. The show was basically a socio-political diatribe which expounded on the mores of society in the latter part of the 20th century. Sounds important right? Do you think I would watch a show like that? Please.

The show featured Fraggles and Doozers living together in harmony at Fraggle Rock – trying to avoid the wrath of the Gorgs - with the help of Marjory, the all-knowing, all-seeing trash heap.

Good times.

I'm Just Not A Bachelor Guy

I'll be honest. I have seen a total of about ten minutes combined of The Bachelor and The Bachelorette. It just isn't my thing. I understand why many of you love it, just don't expect me to love it as well. Wow, that sounds like an argument from fourth marriage. Anyway, I saw that the finale was yesterday and some rich guy proposed to some actress. Yes, I know who she is, but I am making a generalization here. I don't care what they say when they are signing up for the show or what they say they do, lets face it. They are actresses and the guys on the Bachelorette are actors. They might say teacher or nurse or bartender, but they all want to be on television and be famous or they wouldn't have signed up for the damn show in the first place.

That being said, why do you watch the show if you know the couple are never going to get married? In the interviews given after this show, it seems to me they are already done. They talk about giving the relationship time, don't know when they will see each other, and yada yada yada. They're done. Just like 95% of them. Two couples still together I think. All of you would know better.

So, the reason I decided to write was that to me, if you spend this much time with a person it really gives you the opportunity to get to know them at least fairly well and you would think there would have been more matches. Are people looking for love or are they just looking to stay on the show as long as possible so that way they can make more in appearance fees when they are finally kicked out or win. Do they just want the ring so they can sell it? The ring yesterday was worth $2.5 million. Hello. That is more than she has made acting combined and judging from what I saw and who her parents are, she should hang on to that ring for a rainy day and not count on making too good of a living acting.

So in reality, if everyone is just doing what they can to stay on the show, they are acting which makes it a non-reality show. Reality is supposed to be reality, but unless a show is filmed entirely with hidden cameras and people don't know they are being filmed, nothing is "reality television" anymore.

Years one and two of The Real World were reality television. Year three? I'm on the fence because I think Puck was the first "actor" on a reality program but the rest of the cast was real. Since then, there hasn't been reality, there has been a series of people trying to make a buck in acting and the program is just like any other role.

Dude. It Was A Star Trek Convention

Before we get started, I have to say that I like William Shatner a lot more than I used to. Oh, I still think he is probably a pompous ass but at least he is a self deprecating pompous ass now, so he is much more tolerable. Plus, he plays cranky really well. I do wish I had a better explanation of the whole finding the wife in the pool thing also. OK, but at least he's good in the Priceline commercials.

Well, at the height of his jackassness, it seems that William Shatner would head out to Star Trek conventions and pick up chicks. So basically he was kind of lazy and didn't want to hear the word no. Well it turns out that even though it was easy and plentiful and that he was a "rock star" at conventions, he still wasn't happy.

"Admittedly, there were times when the woman I was with said: 'So this is what it's like to be in bed with Captain Kirk.' That was definitely a downer, in every sense of the word."

Ummm. Bill. You picked her up at a Star Trek convention. She didn't want TJ Hooker and his nightstick, she wanted Captain Kirk. Hell yes she wanted you to play the character. Why would she want some pasty looking dude with a beer belly? She wanted Captain Kirk and everything he brought to the table. I can't believe a guy who admits going to Star Trek conventions to pick up women would have the nerve to complain about his feelings being hurt because the women were more interested in his character. If you want someone who wants you for you, go to some bar and just be yourself. I'm not giving you any sympathy and I really don't care about your feelings in this situation so STFU. I'm sorry if your one night stand left you empty inside or used. Hmmm. How do you think the women felt to know the only reason you were at the convention was to get some adulation and some lovin'?

Can You Hear The Theme Music?

So yesterday at around lunchtime, Drew Barrymore was driving and another car plowed into her. Instead of getting out and exchanging information, the guy took off. Well, Drew being Drew gave chase. I'm just wondering if when Drew was driving if she popped in the theme music from Charlie's Angels as she sped around West Hollywood. She called Bosley and gave him the license plate number, and then chatted with Cameron and Lucy in a 3 way call while she made turn after turn in an effort to catch the bad guy. You would think OnStar would just go ahead and have some kind of feature which would automatically kill anyone who hits your car and then leaves. Runaway grocery cart? No problem, Once it hits your car, OnStar senses it, tracks back where it came from and leaves granny twitching in the parking lot. OK, so maybe this action thing went just a little far, but if someone can start your car from across the planet, they should be able to taser someone who just rammed it.

Unlike the movies though, Drew didn't catch the bad guy. She did get his license plate number. I mean the guy has no excuse, but still to have Drew Barrymore chasing you would be really scary if maybe you were new to the country and thought she really did die in Scream. You hit a car, and you are scared. You don't know what to do, and the next thing you know you have a Charlie's Angel coming after you.

Drew wasn't hurt in the incident or the car chase, although her Mac took a bit of jostling, but Justin Long went ahead and fixed it. I was going for the whole double entendre thing with that.

Well At Least She Can Get A Tell All Book Out Of It

At the Playmate Of The Year lunch last week, Holly Madison appeared crushed. No, one of her boobs didn't deflate, but instead she learned a valuable life lesson. When you date a guy, if he hasn't married you after 7 years, he probably is never going to. Holly Madison is the main girlfriend of Hugh Hefner's three, and after dating Hef for seven years she realizes she is no closer to getting married than she was at the time they first started dating.

She was practically in tears when a reporter asked Hef how come he didn't marry Holly and he said, “I love Holly very much and I think we’re going to be together the rest of my life. But marriage isn’t part of my puzzle. It’s not a personal thing; I just haven’t had much luck with marriages.”

At this point though Holly is kind of stuck. She just has to hope that Hef takes care of her in his will, or trust, but it is going to be much less than it would be if they got married. She knows this. She has worked on this project for seven years and now she has been told publicly that there isn't going to be a payoff. Does she love him? Oh, I'm sure she does, but I also know that in the back of her mind she is saying what every woman would say, and that is that she wasted her entire twenties on a guy who she thought was marriage material and instead just wanted to f**k her, and her two friends.

OK, well most of you wouldn't have the last problem. I don't think Holly really does either. There is no way that Kendra has ever f**ked Hef. No way and no how. Bridget? What do you think? Maybe one day she gave him a little something for his birthday? Maybe I could see that, but mostly it has been Holly.

I have said it before and I will say it again. A guy is not going to marry you if you date longer than five years. If you do get married it will be because you beat him into it and so he will resent it. Now, I'm not including college years in this equation, but just because a guy is 75 when you start dating doesn't make him any different than any other guy except he could die on you. Literally.

The problem is if Hef holds on for another 10-15 years which is likely because I think he really wants to make it to 100 and have the birthday party to end birthday parties, Holly will be maybe in her 40's and still no marriage. Well, what are going to be her chances of true love at that point? None. Oh, she'll find a guy and marry the first one who asks, but it won't be love and she won't have kids and she will just be someone who used to be someone and join the long list of people who have got suckered into 20 years of dating with no payoff.

NY Daily News Blind Item

Which young star - who plays gay on his hot TV show - has a taste for significantly older women?

Today's Blind Items

Ahh guys. We just can't seem to be happy with what we already have and these two guys definitely prove that rule.

#1 - This B list film star who most of you think is gorgeous, and who has really made a move up in the world as of late is engaged to someone who considers herself an actress. It makes me laugh, but she says she is. Unfortunately for her, her affianced seems to be searching for someone else. While working recently he met a woman and exchanged phone numbers. Nothing wrong with that, but how about the invitation to fly her to LA and stay at his place. Presumably his significant other would be off "acting."

#2 - Another engaged guy and another sticky situation. This guy is C list but you are all familiar with his work. Starring in a Golden Globe nominated television show he is engaged to an actress who stars in a network drama that has won a Golden Globe. While out with his affianced at dinner, he spotted a woman heading to the bathroom, and attempted to get her phone number. When asked about the woman he was with, our actor said she was just a friend. Nice.

Random Photos Part One - With A Reader Photo

I believe someone used the term "gorg" to describe Angelina Jolie in this photo. I just like the fact they all wear black.
Oh, I also like the fact they even though they are in France, they still head to McDonalds like all Americans because as much as we loathe McDonalds in the US, we all feel a little love when we see the arches.
Ali Landry hosted the first hot moms party. Does anyone see anything wrong with that? Why not all moms? Is the doorman actually telling moms they aren't hot enough?
E.G. Daily rocks. Plain and simple. With the exception of an unfortunate marriage to Rick Salomon, she is incredible. Plus, she was engaged to Jon-Erik Hexum when he died. If he thought she was cool, then you know she is ok. She has a new album out, and even if you don't recognize her face, each one of your kids probably knows who she is.

If I made as much money as Denzel Washington does, I would have even a bigger smile than that. This is Denzel on the set of his new film.
Donny Osmond shows off his correspondence school knowledge of chiropractic medicine.
This is Daisy Fuentes. Unfortunately I can't figure out if it was Matt Goss who was how shall I say, enjoying the fruits of Daisy in those photos from a few weeks ago.
The Jonas Brothers - Irvine, CA

Its her wedding day. No snark.
Goldie Hawn I like. Her daughter. Not so much.
Why exactly did Geri Halliwell write a book?
Goldfrapp - London

Jack White - London

Jodie Sweetin looks pretty darn good for just having a baby three weeks ago.
You know. They really do make a decent couple.
Jamie Lynn Sigler looks really good. I will keep it at that because those restraining orders finally stopped, and I would prefer to keep it that way.
Jimmy Fallon announces he is running for President. First promise is not to make any more films.


Nelly - London

Happy Mother's Day Michelle Williams. Give Matilda a big kiss.
I hope Liv Tyler managed to have a great Mother's Day also.
Leggings for the masses. Kneepads are a complimentary bonus.
Kate Flannery in the making me smile big photo of the day.

Looks like all is right again in the world of the Lacheys.

After awhile, they make me even believe. If it gets drilled in your head long enough, you just give in.
Snoop Dogg - Irvine, CA
Sex And The City is shot entirely in New York and always has been so of course it makes perfect sense to have the premiere in London.
Love this reader photo.

Daily Mirror Blind Item

Which Hollywood star, who's had a string of failed romances with eligible leading men, frequents lesbian bars in New York and LA?

This Way She'll Get Paid To Get Naked

Audrina Patridge is strutting around town because she landed the lead in the film Into The Blue 2. Umm. The first one only made $20M in the US and that was with Jessica Alba in a bikini and Paul Walker half naked. Audrina will have none of that though and thinks she is going to be the next best thing. "The role is giving me the chance to show people [what I can do]."

So far what I have seen her do is be on a reality show and strip naked a few times. Somehow I don't think the producers of the film are hiring her for her acting ability. I think they hired her because she is decent looking, much cheaper than Jessica Alba, and perfectly willing to strip naked. Hey, at least this time she'll get paid to get naked.

She says this role is why she moved to LA. Ummm. She was born in LA. Did I miss something? Seriously, those were the exact words that came out of her mouth when she did Ryan Seacrest's radio show last week.

Also, if this is the role she has been dreaming about her whole life, well, then congratulations, and I'm sure you will be better than Denise Richards even if the film is going to go directly to DVD. Oh yes it will.

Why Would He Back Down?

No matter what you think of George Clooney, he generally comes off as a pretty upfront guy. Ask him a question and he will give you an answer. You may not like the answer, but he will give you one anyway.

In the new edition of Rolling Stone, Clooney gave an interview and said some pretty nasty, but true things about Paris Hilton. Now, he is trying back peddle and saying that the magazine got it all wrong and he would never say anything bad about Paris Hilton? Why is he afraid of Paris Hilton? Does she have something on him? Did he and Paris do the dirty? Did he dress up in diapers or something? I mean this seems very un-George like and there must be something going on.

In the interview he said, "There is a funny thing that happens when you are a young actor. You equate financial success and getting jobs with whether or not you are good at it. And it still happens. That's why there is Paris Hilton. Now I'm in trouble with Paris Hilton."

He also called her a wannabe. I don't think he said anything wrong or anything people would find disturbing. He is also assuming that Paris can read, or will read this, or that her friends are capable of reading it to her.

His reps are in full damage control mode and say that Rolling Stone took two sentences out of context and that the quote wasn;t in the spirit of the interview. WTF? Who cares? Again, why the big deal? Are you in love with the Hilton Honors program or something? It isn't even that bad, which leads me to believe that George and Paris have a history and he doesn't want her spouting off, or she knows something about George the rest of us don't and so he is kissing butt like Larry King, and really losing my respect.

That Sucks

As someone who has been deeply scarred for life because I didn't get to go to prom, I feel for Marche Taylor. Marche wore a dress to prom which the school said violated the dress code. Fine, got it. No problem. Marche didn't like that, but offered to put some more clothes on to hide the dress, but the school still said no.

Marche then went off and ended up in handcuffs being led out of the prom by cops. No charges were filed, but Marche didn't get to attend her prom. Look, I am all for enforcing a dress code. I don't know where it talks about prom dresses in school dress code policies, but whatever. I don't understand why the school was not willing to offer an alternative short of sending her out in handcuffs. This isn't a Friday night dance, or suspending you a day from school, it is prom, and I know that this is such a big event in the lives of most high school students. There are whole shows devoted to it on television. Dresses and parties are planned for months. This is a really big night.

Generally the event costs a great deal and involves students actually feeling like adults for a few hours. Was Marche wrong? Hell yes. Were here parents wrong? Hell yes. She shouldn't have pushed the envelope so far, but that is what teenagers have been doing since the beginning of time. I think her parents should have said something, but I also think the school should have let her change or wear a jacket, or something.

Although she will have a great prom story, I doubt fifteen years from now she will be thrilled to show off her photo in handcuffs.

Bad Acting In A Reality Show?

How do you know when you are one of the worst actresses that has ever walked the earth? People are laughing at your "acting" on your own reality show. Denise Richards' new show is hilarious in the sense that she was probably told how she should come off or she decided how she wanted to come off, and it just comes off like the worst 4th grade elementary school play you have ever seen. Actually, that does a disservice to the 4th graders because at least they are trying and are cute. In a one minute clip, Denise Richards cusses multiple times and also at least twice says how much she enjoys sex. She is reminded by her sister of how many guys she has slept with and you get the feeling she can't even remember what celebrities she has slept with. Well, when you have slept with as many people as Denise Richards has, it all gets kind of blurry.

The only time you feel she is being natural is when she is trying to remember who she slept with. The rest of the time in her "confessions" and interaction with her family and friends, you actually feel sorry for the entire crew who probably had to sit through ten takes of her reality just so she could get it right.

If the video doesn't load correctly, just click here.

This Will Not Work Out Well For Anyone

So, a year ago Owen Wilson tries to kill himself because Kate Hudson dumped him, and now she has agreed to marry him. How can that be a healthy relationship? The guy had to almost kill himself before she even took notice. What changed for her since then? The fact that a guy tried to die for her? In my opinion I think she just feels remorse or shock or a sense of if I don't marry him he might kill himself the next time.

The problem with that line of thinking is that she can't have those thoughts and be happy forever. What she should have done is to stay the hell out of his life. He was doing fine without her, and now that she is back in his life, what happens when she decides she has had enough? Has she thought about that? I don't think so. I don't think she's thought clearly at all.

When you think of this, you have to separate the celebrity from the person. Just imagine a woman cheating on her husband or leaving her husband for a guy. The guy is happy and in love and wants to show her off to the world. She doesn't want that because all her friends are whispering how she hurt her husband. Our new guy persists and whines and whines and she finally gives in and lets everyone know, and then dumps our guy.

He tries to kill himself over his anguish. Meanwhile she blissfully ignores him despite his entreaties to get back together. One day, for whatever reason she does talk to him and wham, they are back together again. Nothing has been fixed from before. So, this time when she dumps him as is her pattern with guys, what is going to happen to our new guy?

NY Daily News Blind Items

Which music-producing superstar recently had his nether regions pierced in hopes of increasing his, you know, sensation?

Which formerly awesome Major League pitcher can the blame loss of shoulder strength on years of smoking pot and one drug-addled incident where he had to carry a passed-out date up three flights of stairs? His fastball hasn't been the same since.